SmartLess - "Craig Robinson"

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

Sean’s old college buddy Craig Robinson hops aboard the SmartLess catamaran as we sail into a sea of laughs and journey through history. From Craig’s early days teaching K-8 while practicing stand-up on his students, to calling Sean’s Mom’s house for commercial audition advice, it’s a Hollywood education on the half-shell. Slurp!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All right, we have a special guest here intro-ing the show today, right, Craig? Yes, welcome to the show everybody. Wait, hang on a second, before you go, just welcome to SmartList and joyous, I don't know. Okay, so welcome to SmartList. Okay, that was good, but again, Craig, it doesn't seem like you're really welcoming me. Hey, how are your kids, Will? They're really good. When was the last time you saw them?

What month are we? Wait, by the way, we're still Craig, we're still doing the intro, so just say welcome to SmartList. Hi, welcome to SmartList. Hi. There's everybody. Hi, Sean. Hi, guys. Sean.

How are you today? Sean is busy doing incredible work in Chicago per a very tough to please critic, apparently. Sean's got a very nice review. That's very nice. In the Chicago Tribune. We're all excited. That's very nice. And when do we get to see it?

Do you want people coming out to Chicago to see it, or do you want us to wait till New York? It's entirely up to you. Here's the other thing, you don't even have to see it, because here's why. No, no, I want to. Because I'm not a huge fan of when other friends are like, you've got to see my movie. No, you're not that guy. You're not that guy. Yeah, so I really, truly don't.

Well, can I suggest this? Is there a world where when you're done and you come back home that we just do a dinner with our usual crew? And then, Sean, we have you kind of like a salon. We'll have you stand up and just do some choice monologues. Or you can do the whole thing. Or do the whole thing. That would be great. But just privately, so it's just us.

I could do like a speed line through. Speed through would be great. And maybe just, I mean, not too much blocking, like a little bit so we get a sense of the space, obviously. And, Will, can I double back to your use of the word salon? Did you throw a salon in there? I sure did. What does that mean? Well, look it up.

I mean, I'm familiar with a salon wall. A salon wall is the wall with a bunch of pictures all put next to one another that form a larger singular square. Is that right? I think it is. Well, did you get a haircut? I did. Yeah. You got a body cut too and a fat face cut too.

You look great, man. What happened? Are you sick? Thank you. I love it when people say that. Thank you so much. You know, it's so crazy. So when I go to the theater, I have to have a COVID test every week, right?

And so still, and so I missed this one day. So they said, oh, well, you have to just go to one of these like free clinic places. So I Google it. It says you can come in for, you know, just like walk in, you don't have to make an appointment. So I walk in and I'm not kidding you guys. There's nobody there. And the woman standing right when you walk in goes, do you have an appointment? No.

And she goes, you have to make an appointment. I go, but it said walk in. She goes, yeah, but you still have to make one. So you can go back outside and scan the little digital thing on your phone. And I go, you're joking me right now. I go, you want me to walk outside? Yeah. So I walk out, I go, watch this.

And I looked at her through the glass, through the door. Never, never broke eye contact. No, this sounds like a real bait man. I was so angry. I took the big picture of the thing and I'm filling it out, just giving her evil looks. While I'm filling this out, I log in all my information. I walk in, she goes, can I help you? She wasn't even kidding.

She goes, do you have an appointment? Was it Edie McClerick? I go, wait, this is not happening. This is like a joke. So she goes, yeah, I have an appointment. She goes right over here to a line that doesn't exist. And then this guy at the front desk, he's like, do you have an appointment? I go, yes, I do.

He's like, great. And then he tells me to go, wait in this other line. There's no line. It's just a thing to go get tested. How good. And then you go outside and you look up at the, when you finally leave, you look up and you look back at the place and you look at the sign and it says Kafka COVID tests. Kafka.

Wow. How have you guys been? What's new? It's been a minute since we've all been hanging out. I know. I know. You guys were so kind to let us all take a couple of weeks off while I was in tech for Tracy.

Tech is when you light the whole play. Don't be short with, don't be testy with Tracy right then. Like you're exhausted to have to tell her. Is that what tech is? You're like, Tracy is. Technical. Anyway, so thank you guys. So that's what we haven't seen each other in a while.

Sorry. I just want to go. This is a little off topic, but Jake, you've gone back to Pina's hair. What? Oh, I know. Remember when Jimmy said the top of your hair? Yeah. He did.

That did leave a mark. Yeah. So listener, what happens here? What are you doing? There's a direct part right in the middle. Well, it's a double cowlick. Okay. I'm not upstairs styling that and creating a double cowlick.

But yeah, it is for those familiar with the circumcised. It does look like a cowlick that twice. Yeah. There's a, well, I'm assuming what Jimmy meant when he said penis hair. Do you think he was talking about, because listener, we've got a double cowlick here, right? So we've got a cascade on one side and another one on the, like an M. They got it.

They got it. They got it. Okay. So what do you, what part of the penis do you think there's a lot of parts? Let me finish. There's something really crass here. Oh boy. What part of the penis, there's so many parts of the penis that could be this, I'm going

to say penis one more time. No, no. If they look at the art right now to the podcast and they're listening to, they can see what we're talking about. Right. Look, either way, you look like a dickhead. Here we go, guys. Listen, listen, we've got to get to it because I know it's so bad.

We, I tell you what's so good though is, is our guest today. Boy, they're not going to like this segue right off the. They're going to like, they're going to like it just fine. They're going to like it just fine because our guest is a very, very funny person and knows what it's like to be very funny all the time and likes to laugh. And that's because our, our friend, our guest today has participated in so many comedic films and TV shows. It's almost pointless to name them all.

It's almost fun. But you, you see, Jason, you might know him. You might know him from the office. You might know him from what else? What you might know? Mr. Corral. Is it Mr. Corral? Hang on a second.

Hang on a second. I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm working my way there. So you might know him from the office. You might know him from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You might know him from. I've got an apple express. You might know him from any one of these movies. You might know him from his new show, Killing It on Peacock and Sean, you just might know

him from college because it's none other than Craig Robinson. Oh my God. Sean. There he is. Oh, look at that. He's got a picture of himself. He's got a painting of himself behind him. Oh, listener.

We have a two shot. Craig Robinson. Well, listen, first of all, how crazy is this to be on here with, with Sean? So walk us through this a little bit, Craig. I know Craig's so sick of me. Every time I see Craig, I tell him the same goddamn thing. He's like, yeah, Sean, when are you going to drop it? It's enough.

I see who doesn't know. Are there listening? Or me. Or these guys. So Craig, will you tell it if you want? We went to college together. We were both piano majors at Illinois State University. Well, let him tell it.

Now you're telling it again. We went to college together and we were both piano majors at Illinois State University. Sean and I. I mean, down till we were in the same classroom, Sean was making everybody laugh. But especially when we just be in the back just quiet, not supposed to talk. That was, that was the best. Yeah. Now Craig, are you as impressive as Sean is on the, on the keys?

Oh, Craig's amazing pianist. A thousand percent less impressive. No, no. Sean is a super genius. You're incredible. But you were a major, like you don't just major in piano playing without being somewhat impressive. I mean, I do my thing. But now Sean will, Sean can sit down and play with the orchestra.

I can sit down and play with the gospel choir. Yeah. There you go. That's better than I can do. That's better than I can do. That's very impressive. I'm more by ear. Do you remember that song you wrote?

Someone's fucking my lady. Someone's fucking my lady. Fuckin' my girl. Remember that song? Did it doggy style? Of course. Wait, wait. Wait, is that, did you perform that with the, when you used to do the, you and Jerry Minor,

you used to do that thing together? Yes, absolutely. And you would perform that and then it would be revealed that it was him who was fucking your lady? No, no, no. Jerry would be Jerry's Elle Witherspoon and Chucky. Yeah. I played Chucky and Jerry and Elle Witherspoon would be like, you know, I don't mean to be

suspicious, but last night when my woman come home. So he's assuming somebody's fucking his lady. So he sings about it. And I'm like, somebody's fucking your lady. Somebody's fucking your girl. And then in the middle of the song, he's like, Chucky, I found, I found a piece of paper in my woman's pants pocket. I'm like, what is it saying?

It's a phone number. And I said, call it. And so he, he's like, it's ringing. So, you know, it's back and forth. And then the phone rings and I answer the phone. He's like, are you fucking my lady? Yes, I'm fucking yours. And, you know, Jerry explained this to me, Jerry Minor.

What's up, brother? He was like, he told me the concept. And, you know, it was, it was, I cracked up. I think it was based on the R. Kelly and R. Kelly would have Ron Isley in his videos is Mr. Big. So it's kind of based on that. It was such a genius. When Jerry told me a long, even long before that, he said, I'm going to make you famous.

Here's my Craig Robinson journey. Just, and then everybody here. So we met in college. We were music majors in college. Then we started dancing to Janet Jackson in the hallways. We would dance rhythm nation with each other. And then we, and we were. Those numbers are going to come out by the way.

We would, we would. Five, four, three, two, one. Who do you think led that charge? I'm going to give you one guess. And then, and then one of the funniest things. I was in a play called Love for Love by William Cos. Sure. No, no, sure, sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah. It was a restoration comedy. And Craig was my understudy. So in the play, I had like one scene and I had to play the harpsichord. And as my understudy, he had to wear a powdered wig and like a whole regale. Like the 17th century. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I can't remember that.

I wrote a song and Craig sang it. Now, Sean is busy using a lot of this, a lot of this education and talent. Craig, when's the last time you really put your musical degree to work? Oh, two nights ago. Yeah, you're always playing out, aren't you? Yeah, I play, I play and sing in my comedy act. Yeah. You got very serious when you said that.

It's a serious act. Where is the act currently and can we go see it? I'll be at the Laugh Factory this evening. Here in Los Angeles? Here in Los Angeles. Oh, wow. At the late show. So, boom, you're on the list just like that.

What time does that start? 9.30. Oh, Jason, he's two hours into the heavy, the heavy gummy. The second gummy, which is... You don't want me behind a wheel but 9.30. I'll tell you what, May 4 at the Troubadour, Craig Robinson and the Nasty Delicious, and you get to see my master's degree. I would love to see that.

And that's my birthday. Come on down. May the 4th be with you. What's nice? What's the Nasty Delicious? That's a multi-member band? Yes, there are nine of us. Let me see if I can...

Nine? Yeah, yeah. Because I got the horn section, including Reggie Hines, Winston. There's a horn? Yeah, and a Burt and LaKeisha Benjamin. These are all... And then my drummer's Aisa Watkins. Sure.

Ben Gialances, my conga player. And then David Samson on guitar. And then my brother, Chris Robb, on Keys synthesizer. And several of us do voice... That's great. Your actual brother. My actual brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, wait, Craig. I'm just going to back up for two seconds. I also remember, you called me at my mom's house in Glen Ellen, Illinois. you saw me in a McDonald's commercial and you were still a teacher, I think. And you're like, how did you do that? I'm like, what? You said, how do you get a commercial?

And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, and I was like, you got to get your head shots. You got to make a resume. And we talked on the phone. I don't know if you remember that for a long time. I must have been, I don't know, 20, 19 years old, 20 years old, 21, something like that. Remember that?

Do you remember that, Craig? No. No, Craig. I'm moving on. That's my favorite part of the story is that Craig doesn't remember it. Do you remember, Craig, do you remember teaching anybody? I used to teach.

I taught kindergarten through eighth grade. Come on. You're in Chicago and Indiana. What? Yeah, I wanted to get into that. So Craig, so hang on a second. So let's back up even further and we're gonna get into the teaching.

Yeah. Your mom, was your mom a teacher or is a teacher? She was a teacher. She taught it when young, high school. She was my music teacher. She was your music teacher. So no wonder you and your brother are both musically inclined.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Our whole house was, you know, pianos, drums, horns, all kind of stuff was in it. It was like a music hall. That's wild. Okay, so your mom was a music teacher. So then you grew up with music all around. And did you guys all, did you jam out,

like everybody in the family? You and your brother? Jam out, shut up. Come on, man. I thought everybody at Christmas, like after every family in the world was like playing and singing, harmony, until one Christmas I was in LA and it was just quiet.

I was like, and I wouldn't get the keyboard out the car and they were like, what? Christmas carols at Christmas. Sean, you keep threatening to play the piano at our Christmas gatherings. It hasn't happened yet. I know. It's not gonna happen.

Are you kidding? Yeah. Can we not make your deal or something like that? Is it a deal thing? Yeah, you guys have to make a deal with me. No, I, yeah, I was gonna pull out the, I was gonna get a piano at the last. This is what you're all at.

Christmas carol. It kind of like stops a party. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. It's not the party. Remember one time at Jimmy's house, at Jimmy Barrow's house you got on the piano. Yeah.

Which was fun. And Jason, remember that we were all like, oh, Jason, nobody tell Jason, don't invite Jason. I think Amanda was even there too, his wife. But he was like, don't mention it to Jason. But Will, it stops the party. People are like, oh, that's nice. And then everybody goes home when it's done.

When you stop playing piano, then everybody goes home. You're right. It's like when somebody goes, they watch this video and as soon as you pull the video out and show somebody, everything's over. I did that last night and that exact thing happened. Wait, what happened, Craig? I did that.

I put out a video and I started showing people because I'm so proud of this show, this one scene. And then the lights went off and everybody left home. And you did it on purpose or no? No, no. I did it not knowing if that's what happens when you show up with you. It's true.

It's a conversation, Ender. We'll be right back. All right, back to the show. Craig, so your mom's a music teacher. You and your brother musically inclined. You were surrounded by your whole dump. So then you go to college and major in music with Sean Hayes. And Sean, you had already done Will and Grace

by that point, right? I forget the timeline on that. No, McDonald's. He had been selling McRibs. He'd done McDonald's as a sitcom? I don't, listen, I'm not paying attention. Exclusive to the McRib campaign, I believe. I had already done one.

McRib, the sitcom. I wanna hear about like hungry, young, not knowing anything about the business, Craig. Yeah, exactly. So he calls Sean and, yeah. So that's what I'm getting to. Take your time. So you go to college and then what is that moment

when you graduate college because then you become a music teacher? How did you make the leap from being a music major at Illinois State? That's a good question. It's a great question. To coming out to California and working as an actor. Well, I called Sean's mother's house. I remember that phone call.

Okay, the leak. Yeah, but to that point, Craig, I had the same question that I can't believe I waited 30 years to ask you, which was what was that? What exactly it will just ask? Like, I remember that phone call. I'm not offended that you don't, but I was like, oh, that's so cool.

Craig wants to get into acting, but what made you want to do that? I was chosen by comedy. Mm-hmm, yeah. Comedy chose me. Comedy chose you. I'm called a bitten by the bug, whatever you want, but I was in college.

I was like, I'm gonna do stand-up. I think my father, who was like serious attorney, serious corporate attorney, I think he inadvertently sparked it one day because he was like, because I was always so silly. And he's like, you know, people get paid to be silly like that. And I was like, excuse me, comedians. People get paid to do this stuff.

And that was one of the things that sat with me. Then in college, as I'm feeling this comedy, but comedians were like superheroes to me. Like you could see them, you just couldn't touch them, anything. But then I saw some people doing comedy in college. And that's what made me go, okay, I'm getting to this. Because there was people I could see and touch and knew.

And like, you have an act, how do you do that? So then once I graduated, I was full-on. Even by that point, I had driven to Chicago and back to go to like the Laugh, the Funding Firm, to see Richard Jenney speak just on a Saturday afternoon or something. But were you working on stand-up material at that point? At that point, in college, I had like a couple of jokes.

I would go, Sean, do you remember this? The theater department would have these like Tuesday night, like almost like an open mic, but there was no mic. It was just somebody would come up and... It was called Theater of Ted. Theater of Ted. Ted's Theater. And people just performed with him.

And I got up to nerve and went up and kind of played the piano, messed around and told some jokes. And the first joke I think I ever wrote was a poem. Like, sometimes my father, you know, he comforts me. He'll say, stop crying. And I want to do this poem for you. Stop crying, stop crying right now before I give you something to cry about.

You're making a scene, you know, that's wrong. Just wait till we get home. And then, you know, you got a little reaction, whatever. And a couple of mothers in the start. So anyway, go to graduate and, you know, immediately I'm hitting the open mics and going to Second City. And, you know, things kind of progressed from there. And at some point, my buddy, Owen Smith,

who's a big time Hollywood writer now, he goes, you could probably, you know, get on the sitcom or whatever. I forget what we talked about, but it was something about made me go, if I go into acting, I want to know what I'm doing. So I started, I went to Act One, I went to Second City, I went to Audition Center. Then I did, you know, get Def Comedy Jam from Def Comedy,

what have you. That got me some eyes in Hollywood. I forced a manager to tell me I need to move to Hollywood. Like, you think I should move here, right? You think I should? You think I should? And I ended up winning this contest. I won a few contests, but I did, got a development deal. I went to Montreal and got a development deal.

You went to Just for Laughs? I went to Just for Laughs. Yeah, and then I did, it was New Faces. Came back and went on 14 meetings, and I'm getting a development deal from one of them. And that's what eventually got me to move to Los Angeles. Did Sean say anything on that first phone call that was helpful at all?

I'm sure he did. Sean was always very positive, very helpful. Probably. So Craig, but I'm trying to go along the time, because we're all the same age, roughly. Jason's the oldest here, obviously. 72. But you, Sean and I are about the same age.

We're all, I'm 51. Sean's 51. Are you 51 as well? I'll be 51 in October. Okay. So we're all in the same ballpark. And I, you know, whatever, 50 and young play, obviously skew a younger and have lots and a big presence on social media. So obviously in touch with young people too.

And if you just reach out and look for my handles and subscribe here, but the point is this. The point is this. Subscribe. There are a few. Subscribe. Nothing made me sound older than that. The point is, the point is, what are those gap?

How long were you teaching before you? Cause you're doing all this stuff in college. You realize like, okay, I want to be a standup. Your dad tells you, by the way, my dad was also a lawyer for many years, a corporate lawyer. And they were always like, what are you doing? Not like, hey, you're silly people that make money. They're like, stop goofing around and get serious.

But what are you doing from that moment? You graduate college, you've got it in your mind. You want to do comedy. You start teaching though instead for a while. Like, but while you're teaching her, do you have a foot out the door? Exactly the whole time, I think. I remember the first year I started teaching,

the teachers are like, watch Mr. Holland's opus. Don't get stuck here. So, I taught one year in Indiana and Franklin Elementary and then also Eggers Elementary. And so one was like, and Whiting, and then one was in this other part of Indiana. But it was a good 45-minute drive in between. And it was sweet because two days a week,

I had like a two-hour break to drive in between schools. And one was like a white school, one was like a black school. It was amazing. So I taught there for a year. Then I got into a program called Teachers for Chicago where you get paid to teach and they get you your masters. So I was getting my, I got my masters to teach for Chicago and then you're supposed to be there for a few years,

committed to Chicago. That's amazing. And your masters was in music? Yes, music education. That's so cool. Talk to me, was teaching these kids, these young kids, was it lovely on the whole or frustrating? I always marvel at the patience that teachers

of young, young, young children have. You know, obviously I love kids, but you spend seven hours with kids, with kids trying to teach them X, Y, and Z, trying to figure out how to manage their attention and their focus. When the hand goes up, the mouth goes shut, that kind of thing. Yeah. How'd you do with that?

Did you have like this teacher, my younger started, like they did this little, like there's like, there's like, there's clap signals to like you go quiet when you hear that. Like did you have, how did you, how did you manage with all that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say like, hey y'all shut the fuck up! Yeah, that's efficient.

No clap. It's clear. That's very clear. The, for the most part, the kids were cool, you know. Then there were a few classes. One class was like this special ed class, this behavior kind of thing, where they had a security guard trying to teach you now all day until they came to music.

So then, what the hell might have to like play the dozens and do your mama jokes, and you didn't even jump in and be like, so anyway, Beethoven, you know. Right. You had to kind of hide it a little bit. That was that. But then, you know, if you were interested enough, they would sit and pay attention. And then, if you weren't.

Were there kids, did you were able to identify kids who were like really talented and go like hey? Yeah, for sure. And could you identify the kids that were the problems too? Well, I mean, there were kids who just needed a little bit more than others. Yeah, I needed you. I was a problem. I needed you. You know, I wouldn't have got kicked out so much.

But you turned out great. You turned out okay. There were probably kids that were like, that you probably didn't connect with like your personality level too, but you had to, right? You're like, this kid coming in now, I can't stand this kid. And then you have to act like you can't, right?

Not that I can't stand it. It was just like they couldn't stand me. You know, it just didn't. You and the authoritative position, it wasn't, you know, it just didn't sit well. What's the worst punishment you ever gave to a kid? First punishment? I don't send them back to their teacher.

Yeah, that's it. I had them 40 minutes a week. Were you trying any or material out on these youngsters? Funny question. I did. Once I started learning, you know, really, I mean, you know, getting into comedy, I was, you know, obviously going to the open mics

weekly, nightly. And yeah, I would practice my stagemanship. It wasn't necessarily the jokes. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, you've got a locked in audience. They have to be there. Yeah.

They're not locked in or they do have to be there. You learned how to deal with hecklers too. A little bit. Yeah. A little shitty little eight year olds running their mouths. Jesus, man. Hey, dad of the year, cool it. By the way, Maple gave me a great joke the other day.

She said, this is my 10 year old. She said, how do you make holy water? I said, how? She goes, you boil the hell out of it. That's good, actually. You can use that one tonight, Craig. That's free. That's good.

Tell her, ask her, what kind of car did Jesus drive? What would she say? A Chrysler. It's good. It's terrible. We'll be right back after these messages. You're welcome. Hang on a second.

So, Craig, how did the office come about? Because that was... What a question. You were so... Thank you. You were so... I loved you on the office, by the way. And I told you, I always think you're a hilarious dude.

Thank you, bro. But I loved you on the office. Tell me, how did that... What was that? Before that, too, I remember driving on the CBS Radford lot. And you were the car behind me or in front of me or something. And I was like, Craig? And you just moved to LA.

I was like, this is what? You're in LA now? That's so cool. And then you said you were going on audition and audition. And then you just popped up on the office. It was just so awesome. And you know what you told me? You were like, tell me about all the auditions you went on

and how you wanted to be sitting in the corner with a razor blade, you know? Because it's just denial, denial, denial. You guys get so close. So yeah, I've thought about that actually a lot. Well, that sounds like great advice, Sean, that you did, Craig. No, he'd know how you would be getting denied. And he'd be like, that's how you feel. Like you just want to...

Yeah. I'm going to... Right. That's the worst. Craig, welcome to LA. You're going to spend most of your time in the corner with a razor blade. Good luck. Oh, thanks, Sean.

Thanks, old friend. Let me know how it goes. How much do you want to grab a bite? Wait, so the office is what, 2004 or five, something like that? Yes. Let me see. Yeah. Yeah, 2005, I think.

There goes Mary Lou Arnett. I know. I'm good with dates. So was it just like a standard audition process on that or anything colorful about that process of landing that sweet gig? So I went in and a full circle, Greg Daniels and I don't know, 13 other people sitting there, Greg, front and center. And he goes, I saw your video.

Just talking about somebody's fucking my lady. Oh, wow. And he's like, not getting any funnier than that, which probably should be a border confidence, a shot up for me. But for me, I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Well, if I get any funnier than this, obviously, it's not going to be funny. Yeah.

You should have shaken the script pages and said, yeah, not with this shit, you know, and then just walked out. Walked out. That would have killed. Jesus. And, you know, they had us do one of the little models, the sides to the camera. Well, they call it confessionals and do that paragraph. And deadpan is like, I'm a huge fan.

Yeah. That's your thing. You know, like Harvey Corvin and Leslie. What was Leslie Nassman from Police Squad? Leslie Nassman. Yeah. Those are my cats, man. So I went in there just like, so the office I thought was tailor made for my style.

Yeah. So you do that. You do that audition. You do, you do that talking head and you do the deadpan thing for Greg and the 13 people in the room. You walk out and you think, what nailed it? I want to be on the office or you let it go and just like on with my day. Oh, you got to let it go.

Move on. I didn't know it was another audition. Yeah. I would throw my script away or my sides away like this. Like that'll show them. You know, like I'm not going to think about that at all. And all you do is think about it. Yeah.

I would always, I'd love to say as I was leaving, good luck with this. Like in other words, like I'm going to not give myself this part before you not give this to me. I did it after every audition. So bad. Oh God. The arrogance is so gross. Well, but it was also sort of like, you know, feigned humility.

Like, well, you know, I'm not assuming I'm going to get this. And the probability that I do not please good luck with this. Not a lot of people know this. Jason also invented pray hands. Yeah. Yeah. I started that. Yeah.

Small bow, tiny hands. Oh, pray hand. The worst is when you put the audition out of your mind and then, you know, two months later, your mom's like, Hey, so what happened with the spider man? Did you get that? Right. My mom's favorite thing to always do is always just to sort of just let me know what A-list directors I should be working with.

Oh, you know what? You know what? You should do a film with Steven Spielberg. Like, oh, is that it? Okay. Oh, hang on. Let me write this down. My father would be like, you look like David Allen Gray.

You should do something with him. Call him. Call him up. Just call him up. All right. So Craig, so what, how's your music passion nowadays? Are you, is it still? What's a bigger passion for you?

The acting or the music? The music. It's always the music. Still the music? Music is the first love. So what are you listening to mostly right now? What, what, at least what genre of music? Some Chris Rob.

Chris Rob. It's my brother. That's his brother. Yeah. That's my brother. Yeah. And some Craig Rob. We've been working on something that I don't know if it ever come out because I'm the

most into it, but we have several songs about ready to go. What's it sound like mostly? What type is it? Hard rock. The first one is like a kind of a smooth R&B. Smooth. All I want to do is love you, babe. Sure.

So is it safe to say then that you act to pay the bills for your music passion and like follow that? Oh, Sean. Sometimes. Uh-huh. Like I'll do a bunch of comedy shows. And if I know the band is going to do a show at House of the Blues and only get, you know, 10 grand, I might do a bunch of shows around there to make sure, you know what I'm saying?

House of the Blues still going? House of the Blues still up and around? Yes. Is that a close? Is it? Yeah. You know, I take that back. We send my answer.

I don't know. Okay. You don't know. We'll strike it. We'll strike that. We'll strike it. I'm sorry. You're committed already.

And now back to the show. Craig, is there a dream project where you want to combine like music and like a dream film of yours or a dream role? Or musical theater? Sean? Six, seven, eight. Anything? But can you think of anything that Craig could just fall right into?

Like a beautiful glove? Yeah, a million things. A million things. How about promises, promises? I saw that on Broadway. Did you see it? Yeah. It was very sweet of you to come.

I remember that. It was amazing. You were amazing. Thank you, thank you. He was amazing. Would you like to do a run on Broadway? Oh, I would love it. Yeah, absolutely.

Really? What about you? Sean, what could you and Craig do together? That would be a great two-hander. Stir crazy, the musical. Yeah. Wait a minute. Wait what?

Wait, Craig, that's a really good idea. That's a great idea. Well, who's someone's going to steal that right now? You guys have how many weeks before we air this episode to write it? No, they can't steal it. They can't steal it. They can't steal it. He's already got it.

That's a good idea, Craig. Who holds the rights for that? Craig owns it and now Sean works for Craig. Hey, listen. This is a great idea. I'm here where witnesses, Craig's dad's a lawyer. We're going to get the papers drawn up. That was fast.

That was very fast. Do you like that idea of going to Broadway and doing eight shows a week and all the rehearsals and all that stuff? I had a taste of it a few years back with Chris Rock. We were doing a pearly and it wasn't even the musicals. And it was Chris Rock and I wish I could remember everybody's name. Kimberly and Bear. And then some real heavy hit of Broadway people.

And then Bo, what's Bo's brother? Bo Bridges. Bo Bridges, yeah. Bo Bridges was in it too. So they flew us to New York. To my dad too. And we were there for like a whole week just rehearsing the shit out of this play. And then the first day, this big producer comes in.

He also does music. Can't think of his name. Big time director was working with us throughout the week. And the last day he came in. So, you know, first let's see where it was from the beginning to the end. So I wouldn't mind. I didn't mind. I know it wasn't a, you know, rigorous.

But they did, they did. Ultimately they did not end up doing the play. Is that the deal? Yeah, we are. I don't know what happened. I think it was because of COVID. You know what I think it is. And this is, I'm just guessing, you know what I think it happened?

I think that maybe because you couldn't remember anybody's name. Maybe if you remember some of them. It came to me with all the names I thought of. It's too late. No, they moved on. Rick Rubin. Is that a? Rick Rubin, sure.

It's a pretty big name. He was a part of it and it did not go forward. Is Rick Rubin in the music? And I think Scott Rudin was producing it. Sam Mendes, I think it was direction, but they did not go forward. The biggest names and Craig's like, I'm sorry, one more time with your name. So you have not yet tested your stamina in a Broadway run yet. Is that correct?

I have not. I have done 14 shows a week doing comedy though. Whoa. There you go. That's something. Two shows a night. That's a lot. Sean is just coming off.

Sean's starting. He's embarking on it. He heard us yammering on earlier. He just got unbelievable reviews there at the Goodman in Chicago. He's unbelievable and he's being very modest about it. And I ended up tweeting out his review because I'm just so proud of him. Congratulations. Thank you.

What are you in? It's a new show called Good Night Oscar. Hold for applause. Still holding. And still holding. So this is about the movie industry completely going away. And it only being television, right? And just, and therefore just the Emmy, the Emmy awards.

Oh, I see. Good night, Oscar. There we go. Oh, no. Jason, good for you. Oh, thanks. That's fun. No, that's a fun joke, Jason. We need stuff to cut.

So Craig, you mentioned Greg Daniels. So you work with Greg on the office and also with Mike Sure on the office. Sure. Our old friend. And then Mike goes on Duke Parks and Rec Brooklyn, nine, nine, which you do with Mike and Dan Gore who created it. And then you have tremendous success on Brooklyn nine, nine. And then you and Dan Gore start a new show together.

That's coming out soon on Pika. Yeah. It might already be out. Right. Yes. Yes. Called killing it. Killing it.

It. So you've reunited with the great Dan Gore, whom I also know from, from Parks and Rec, who's a absolutely hilarious guy. Great. And how do you, how did killing it come about? This is about the singing hit man. Yes. Guys.

That's what I thought. They just, they come so fast and I just got to share them with you. And anyway, continue. That's what they say. That's what the ladies say. No. Craig, please cut him off. I had a meeting with Dan.

He was like, dude, you know, we love working with you. You're the best part about a lot of the things that you're in. Let's, let's figure something out. So Mark Shulman, my manager. Happy birthday, Mark. It's his birthday today. Hey, Mark. But, um, uh, and then, uh, Luke Del Tradici.

That's it. Right. We, uh, we all got together, you know, and then they kept pitching, they were pitching these ideas and like, well, which, you know, and it was a musical ideas or this idea of this. And then there was this, this really interesting thing about snake killing in Florida where people were killing snakes for money because they're overrun because back in the day drug dealers were buying them to be,

you know, like Scarface will have you, but then they sent them out and nothing eats the snakes. They eat everything. So, um, they need them. That's the show. You're a snake killer. That's the show. Come on.

Hang on a second. The cock is putting up a snake killer hit man. The cock. This is, this is, yeah, do it for the cock. By the way, Jason, this is actually not a terrible idea of rebranding for Peacock to go simply as the cock. The cock. Or maybe that's coming next on the cock.

Oh. No. Coming out. No, wait, we got it. Hang on. We're all around it. Let's just hold on a second here. We are really close.

Streaming, streaming from the cock. Yeah. Right. I think we got it. There we have it. Okay. So continuing. So you're literally a snake killer.

Come on. Kill snakes. Yeah. Craig, that's the pitch. I start. You have the world listening right now. I'm giving you one more shot. Literally kill his snakes.

Yeah. Okay. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. Wait, what time can we find this on? Streaming on the cock. It's streaming on the cock. It's streaming on the cock.

Okay. Okay. We got a lot of interesting things coming from the cock this season. I'm sorry. On the cock stream. So, so you're okay. But listen, come on.

Listen. Wait, I want to talk about like, what about ladies in your life? Like, are you dating anybody, anybody special in, in the Craig Robinson? I'm single. I'm single. I'm single. I'm single.

I'm single. I'm single. I'm single in your seinway come as vault. I'm single. As you cant see, I'm on the bar. Speaking of Robinson. I'm single af. Okay.

You're single af? Should we be on the lookout for you? No, no, no, I'm happily single. Okay. Got it. What does that mean? When you say you're happy single, does that mean you've got it all worked out?

You've got you're swiping on certain nights, you're going out to certain clubs on other nights, certain bars on the nights and you've got a great routine going. What's behind that? No distractions. I'm just enjoying. I'm very, very busy and it's all good because like in the past last year or so, like, people wouldn't get mad at me and just be like, break up.

That's a whole other podcast, but they've been, you know, removing themselves from my life. It's brought me a piece that I'm like, oh, this is, this is nice and then so maybe I got to figure out. Did you maybe instead maybe think about why you're upsetting these women and therefore be able to continue dating women? Bro, that says there's a whole other podcast. Don't put it on Craig.

Okay. Here, how about that? I'll tell you this. One girl hit me shoes like. It's gotta be Craig's fault. Why, why, why have you never put me in anything but gave me a job? This is one of the, this is the question. Uh-oh.

Wow. Well, what, you know, and I said, well, you don't sing or do comedy or play music. You know, she texted back. I'm playing music right now. Oh, she was just listening to music. I'm playing music right now. So something she was like, I'm, you know, I'm fine with not, not speaking with him. Okay.

But then take this other girl who I just met in New York, who has wrote me a whole show and like, like came to see my show and I'm like, well, here's somebody I can use on the squad. This girl's amazing. Sure. And then what happened? Oh, no, we stayed in touch. Oh.

But not romantically. Oh, not romantically. Not romantically. Not romantically. So you got her on nice romantically, but. Look, I put like, I got my eye on somebody, but I'm not, you know. Okay. Okay.

That's fair enough. That's fair enough. We're not going to push you. It's fun. It's fun to have a crush. Did your mom and dad give you any pressure? Like, come on, Craig. I'm going to go over you about settling down.

No. No. Living my life. You're living your life. You're happy. Now, is my life like, was that ever pissed off that you weren't going into corporate law and that you were going into comedy and music instead? Y'all absolutely not pissed that I went into corporate law, but he saw this as pie in the

sky. Yeah. And I think his quote was, you're going to lose that good job. Right. And now, now you've proven them wrong. And now, does he give it up? Does he say, uh, I was, I was wrong. You were right.

Good for you. I don't think he'll ever say that. There's always, there's always something he's, you know, twisting the needle. Right. Right. They don't know you. The parents, they know how to do that, don't they? Like the white people know.

They don't, the black people don't know you that well. And then people don't really want your autographing in you. People don't want an autograph. People don't, it's always something to keep going. Right. Right. Well, it keeps you hungry, right? The only approval.

But I think that that's, that's a parenting style. I think you're right. It's just like, if they give it up, then they think that you're going to get lazy or something or you know what I mean? So they're like, they're like, in their mind, it's like even, even subconsciously they're like, I'm motivating him. And I feel like I'm doing the opposite. I don't know, it's wrong.

I'm making a mistake. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the, I'm the problem, like the whole participation award thing. I think I'm complimenting my kids too quickly for what is at some, some, sometimes just mediocrity. Right. In, in a, in a, in a, in an unkind view of things, but I'm, I'm trying to say, well, that was great. We keep doing, keep doing more.

But am I, am I, am I conditioning them for an unrealistic world where they're going to get applauded for just doing the norm? I think it's a balance, like everything. I think it's a balance. You got to praise them and you got to teach them. Right. Craig, when you were teaching these kids, would you, would you give them, would you give them a pat on the back for a C or would you wait for at least a B?

Oh, you got to, no, Sean hit it on the head and Jeff got to praise them and you got to teach them. I can tell you my, my niece and nephew, you know, they're, they want to be in the business and my niece was, was like, here I have an idea. It's a dope, dope idea and then she told me idea and it was like, there was no, there was zero development, something like that. And it was, you know, you have to show something and say, I'm writing and then you got to explain to them, hey, when you take these scripts in, you're competing against people who go

to school for scripts and this and that and other. So it's, it's hard to, cause I know some stuff comes off harsh, but I do let them know that or most of them know that, hey, you can do this. It's, it's not as easy as you think it is. Are you more, are you like into the business of the business at all, Craig? Or are you more like a hands-off, call me when that's the cake is made. Do you have the deadline app? Exactly.

Exactly. I like the, I like the made cake. I have, my hands are in some things, but I put them up, like my band and stuff like that, but I, for the most part, I don't, but the acting thing in the, in the, in the whole Hollywood thing, you're just like, just call me if something comes in. Exactly. So you're like one to seek out development and put projects together and write that. There's been a couple of things, but yeah, I'm not, not enough.

It's like somebody say, hey, you play the drums. Look, I can keep a beat, right? Right. But I'm not a drummer. Yeah. You know what I mean? So yeah, I've, I've, I've had my hand a couple of things for the most part, things will come and okay, let's, you know, let's see that through.

Yeah. That's a, you know, I'm sorry, just to, just to interrupt for one second. Jason, any interesting developments in any of the trades this morning? Well, listen, everyone is really monitoring the, you know, the merger there at the Warner Brothers and Discovery Plus. But no, no, no big, no big Hilmer's ankle, any projects this morning? No, I mean, you know, listen, Disney still having trouble with the, you know, don't say gay thing and everyone's keeping their eye on that.

They got a retreat coming up here and so there's a problem with the, you get alerts. You definitely get alerts. Oh sure. Well, hang on. This is a date, what is it called? Deadline. Deadline app. I have a Bateman app.

Yeah. It just really gives me the highlights of the deadline. Anytime, anytime I have anything in the trades, the first person to congratulate me is Jason. That was a long time ago, Will. Remember when you used to compliment me when I had releases? Yeah. It used to be a lot of support. Well, I don't read the trades anymore.

I should. I probably should. I don't either. So, so tonight's show is a combination of music and of jokes. Yes. Yes. I really want to come see it. So May 4th.

I will, I will see that. May 4th at the Troubadour. Yeah. May 4th at the Troubadour. That's not hard to remember. No, that's good. I'm so happy the Troubadour is back in action because it feels like it was closed there for a minute.

No confirmation? Jason? Yeah. Anyone want to show it? Not sure, but I think there was a virus that was going around for a little while. We're open. It's closed. No, I'll, let me check the deadline.

So killing it, Craig Robinson is coming out. It's going to be available on the cock, streaming on the cock, man, I'm excited to see it. I love everything you do. You're such a hilarious dude. And on top of it all, and it's not, you can't always say this about everybody. You're a super nice guy. And every time I see you, you're one of those guys that when you see, you're like, I'm so happy to see Craig Robinson.

Yeah, for sure. You got a good vibe. Mm-hmm. It's the same problem. Yeah. Great vibe, dude. We wish you all the best. We've taken up way too much of your time.

Thanks for joining us, man. Yeah, thanks for being here, Craig. It's always so fun to see you. Pleasure was mine, yo. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, pals.

Bye, buddy. Bye. Craig Robinson. Craig Robinson. Craig. Super fun. I got to see it. You keep saying Craig.

No, I did. Craig. Craig Robinson. Did you say Craig? Okay. I mean, my G is C adjacent, for sure. By the way, that reminds me of, I think a dumb joke I told before on this thing. I'm going to definitely tell it again.

My new company, we're working on, Mold is big, so it's called Adjacent Abatement, that where you are. That's really tight. Oh, yeah. Just share that one with Maple. Yeah, so I got to see the SnakeKilling show. Yeah. I want to know how they're shaping 30 minutes of entertainment weekly on that.

I want to see that. That's a challenge. If anybody could do it, it's Craig because he's so, he was one of those, I loved his character Daryl on the office because he was so funny. He was so straight face. He kind of oftentimes felt like the only one who he and our buddy, Kras playing Jim over there. They were the only two who weren't completely insane and Jenna obviously who played Pam.

Now just named three characters. And he seemed to be the guy who was always like, and he really enjoyed, I love the dynamic between him and Michael Scott because Daryl kind of would egg him on, you know, Carell's character to do stupid things. Isn't that, but don't you think it's, I know, I've gone on too much about it. We both have the exact same major in college and we both follow the exact same path. Isn't that weird? Is it because there's no money to be made as a classical pianist?

Well, there's that, but I didn't really think about that before when I was young. Well, great, Jason. You just enraged eight people on the planet. I'm joking. There are eight people. Of course, there's great money to be made there. Yeah, no, but he made me laugh so hard in college and we would always hang out and make each other laugh.

It's just so wild to see his journey. It's funny that you guys have been on this journey for so long kind of together like a Jason and you come in and out of each other's lives and now that you're older to look back and you both, no, there's no, but it's just been, you guys have both been really successful and that's kind of rare. Yeah, it is rare. We used to walk down the halls and sing the harmony to, we used to sing the harmony to more than words.

Do you remember that song? I'm usually, I'm not great with those kinds of songs like pop songs. I'm usually better with lullaby. That was well done. Smart, lost, smart, lost. SmartList is 100% organic and artisanly handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Amjurf. Smart, lost.