SmartLess - "Tiffany Haddish"

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

Actor and comedian Tiffany Haddish sits down with us on 'opportunity day.' She tells about growing up in South Central Los Angeles and her journey to the present, the transformative power of Roger Rabbit, her new grocery store project, and of course, the healing benefits of the soursop fruit. As lovers of stone fruit, it's time to add some soursop to the mix here at Camp SmartLess.Please support us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Music Everybody's smartless now, everybody's smartless now Come on in and smartless with me Oh my god he did it, oh my god he did it You can just hear radios turning off right now Welcome to smartless! Music So Jay, when you wash your hands, I've heard you refer to it before as boiling them

Yes, sure, well, but I don't, you know, I mean, if I don't boil them, that would kill a lot more than the germs I don't even wash my hands with hot water Sure, sure, you don't need to anymore Hot water, it's a myth, right? The hot water does not help you with germs Oh is that true? I didn't hear that No, yeah it doesn't So I'm gonna just do it in cold water now And also eggs, eggs don't give you a cholesterol problem

This is true It's also a myth They were on and they were bad and now they're back on Wait a second, we've talked about this before But it's not in the same ballpark as the washing of your hand Are you just talking about myths in general? Yeah, well, you know, you're not gonna have hair on your palms if you masturbate I mean, what are we doing here? Are we just going through the list?

I don't know, but you, I think you can over-electrolite yourself like you do Go ahead, Jason, talk right now What are you talking about? Unbelievable with the eating Well, at least I do it when someone else is talking No, but you know what, after all this time and the shaming that you've done with me with the eating You know what else I'm doing? I'm moving my head away from the microphone When I chew, another trick you don't do

Except for now You can go ahead and keep it there Yeah, you need to get your point across You made your point across while your mouth was full of food Oh, God, what a sad sight Do we get to our guest for God's sake? I know, but last thing, can't you over-electrolite? Can't you over-hydrate? If you want to hear something honest, I'm honesting right now

Here, I'm gonna honest with you I was, you know, I'm very conscious of my puff factor on my face Yeah, I got it We are too We're very aware too And I was noticing I was holding quite a bit of water And I was like, I'm not eating salt or sugar Because those are the big puffers for me

And of course, I haven't had a sip of alcohol for 20 years And so I was like, it's gotta be these goddamn electrolytes I did a deep dive on the internet to see if electrolytes Because it would stand a reason Because you're trying to replace salts and sodium I'm like, God, I figured it out And that's not it Oh, it's not it, what a story

So it's just your face It's just my face Oh, no Because you've explained before that your people needed to hold on to water Because in Malta, when you're pulling up the fish The fish, because sometimes it'll get cold out there in the Mediterranean I think it's actually from the other side of my family That probably grew up in some sort of iceberg somewhere

That they had to hold on to, you know, a lot of fat and water To insulate themselves Have you thought about doing a victory lap down in Malta? Just getting and letting the Maltese get a look at you Call him the Maltese Falcon Well, to say that I'm a countryman and be proud of me Yeah, do you think this... No, no, sorry

Excuse you You know what that sound was? That was the sound of our mystery guest pushing away from the table in their chair Saying, that's enough I'm out of here You know, this is a good time to talk about our mystery guest Because our guest today has emerged as a true treasure in this country Our guest is a very, very funny person

Our guest is an Angelino Oh, born and raised in Los Angeles Our guest came out of, it seemed like was like shot out of a cannon Into the comedy scene a few years ago And before you knew it, this person was everywhere And the top of every list to make every television program in every movie Just like overnight, by the way, not overnight because... We need to have a guest session

Let's guess on this one Yeah, I would like to guess Amy Schumer Okay, and Jason That's a great guess Michael Malley Another great guest Two very funny people This person is an incredibly funny person

Who first came to prominence on The Carmichael Show That was the breakthrough This person is a stand-up comedian This person then published... Won an Emmy Award for her hosting of Saturday Night Live She published a memoir called The Last Black Unicorn She starts in a TV series called The Last OG She executive produces and voices Tuka and Birdie

Tuka and Birdie on Netflix Adult Swim She won a Grammy Award for her best comedy album For her album Black Mitzvah And she only made it the second African-American woman To win this prize after Whoopi Goldberg This person is none other than one of my favorite co-stars From Lego Movie 2, Tiffany Haddish, I had it

You should have let me guess it Look at Tiffany Hello fellas, how are you today? Wow Listener, we've got a blonde Tiffany Haddish Wow It's a hard hat, honey I'm here for work

Is it for work? It's for work And what is the part? Working with you I'm appropriating the white culture I'm playing a white woman Please do Please do

Y'all the smartest and funniest That's the only reason I showed up Because I'm gonna tell you right now I was like, it's too early I had my only day off It's my only day off Wait, what are you working on right now? Success and prosperity

There it is Okay, but there it is Abundance and generational wealth That's what I'm working on Oh, yeah But as I ask, what are you working on? You really do have Always 18,000 projects going on

You work so hard all the time I do get away one week out of the month I'll go to Panama or somewhere I'm loving Panama right now Do you go to Panama for the She likes watching the ships go by I'm going there, I want to start a farm I want to own a farm

In Panama? Yeah, I want to grow pineapples I want to grow coconuts I want to grow jackfruit and soursop What's soursop? It's the best freaking fruit you've ever had in your life Full of auto nutrients and everything you need It's a tropical fruit

It's like a dragon's egg And when you eat it, it fills you up With all the nutrients and everything that you need For the day What's it called? Soursop And it has properties that heal cancer That cure it like

I wouldn't say cure I don't want to get murdered by the drugs It's like antioxidants They'll push it off for a few years It has everything you need to make your body heal itself Really good on blood pressure You know, black people have blood pressure It's crazy and that soursop really regulates it

The world we live in right now People are going to take this clip of you saying That they're going to be like Tiffany Haddish claims to cure cancer with this fruit And then it's just going to be Let's hope Let's hope Now, do you have wanderlust?

Are you good about flying around the world And exploring new places? That's something I'd like to get better at I'm working on it I'm working on it When the first time I went to Panama My mind was blown I knew that there was like

Some Spanish people that have dark skin That speak Spanish, right? Because I live in LA But I didn't realize That there were people that looked like they were straight off Of the continent of Africa Mixed with nothing But just straight up African

That speak Spanish the way they do And just celebrate life the way they do And it's so relaxing Oh my god It's where the Pacific and the Atlantic Ocean meet And there's no military there Right? Because it's a sanction

Something Because all the goods from all over the world Go through the Panama Canal Which originally they were going to build it through Nicaragua And then they started that project and they abandoned it And they did Panama True story Right

Which a lot of islanders A lot of Haitians and Jamaicans and Africans Built that canal That was a pretty audacious idea Right? Just carve Let's just cut this whole area right here And we'll connect

I've always thought I'd like to do banking In Panama Oh yeah Yeah I'd like to do it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna open up a bank Yeah open up a bank Haddish federal

There is a lot of money laundering Happening down in Panama I guess that's what I'm saying They got US dollars down there They deal in all US dollars I'd love to get in some money laundering Jason will give us some tips I'm not in the business of dry cleaning money

But I will make sure it's clean Yeah just call Marty Bird he'll take care of it for you Have you ever seen Jason's show The Ozarks there? Have you ever seen it? Yes I freaking love that show Me and my man sit up and watch it We ready for the next season I know it's great

And your man if you've been living under a rock Your man is common That's his name I like him What a nice man I love him I was in a movie with him I was in

Oh boy now I'm blanking on it Oh my god We were Pella talking about it I don't remember what the name was But he said that you were awesome to work with I met him once up in Canada Smokinacus Smokinacus

My friend is so bad nowadays He's very cool He's such a talented dude He's a great actor And a nice nice nice man I've never met him I would kill to meet him I'm a huge fan of both of you How long have you guys been together?

It's been a year Where's he? Why don't you wake his ass up And drag him into the frame Well no he's at his house And I'm at my house I went to sleep at his house And then I came to my This is where I work my house

And then I do the other stuff at his house I got you Alright now what are you guys going to do later on today? What type of stuff do you guys like to do on the weekends? What's day plans look like For Tiffany and Common? I think he's going into the studio I'm going to go do a comedy show

On a rooftop off of Wilshire Boulevard At about two o'clock And then Well I'm going to go there at one In the show and I go on at two thirty Stand up And then so I'm going to get a little litty And eat good

Do my show And then I'm going to go from there And I'm going to go to the Jungle Cruise premiere Wow awesome I want to see that So it's kind of a work day for you You don't mind your weekends being a work day No I feel like this is an opportunity day

This is a day to talk to people That I really want to work with Nice Like all three of you are guys That I really would like to work with Will I already work with you So whatever But everybody else

It wasn't that great Yeah likewise Tiff did you grow up in L.A. your whole life? Yeah Yeah And always loved it Never wanted to live somewhere else For a little bit

I used to go to Atlanta To visit my friend in school And I wanted to live there for a little bit And then I realized I don't want to live there Because No thank you No

Yeah tell me Because I spent a lot of time in Atlanta You tell me Because I mean I mean I love it here in L.A. But if I had to work somewhere else Atlanta is just great people Great crews

Incredible restaurant Bubble bubble bubble bubble What is it about that city For you that was like L.A. would be better The men are crazy Are they The men are not necessarily

I'm used to L.A. dudes That's like you know They like get at you And then they realize you're not the one And they just disappear But in Atlanta They kind of stalkerish Oh they'll just straight up follow you

In L.A. they are very aggressive They grabbing ass They grabbing your arms Like it's just Just no And you'd rather know where you Like you're not on an actual hunt Like you can communicate with me

Use your words to catch me You don't gotta actually grab me You know what I'm saying Like don't get your motherfucking hands off me And I'm a fighter So like you grab me I got PTSD too If you just snatch me up

I'm gonna first assess the situation Are they shooting No Oh you just grab me I start fighting I would catch a case Right Let's go around the room here

We'll start with you Tiffany When's the last time You actually threw a punch And it landed on someone Actually the last time I threw a punch And it landed on someone Cause the last time I threw a punch It missed

But When I did night school I punched Kevin I didn't mean to But I did Okay that counts So that was like three years ago Well last time you threw a punch

The last time Fourth grade No I was 21 I got in a fight in a bar In New York You remember whether you won or lost I won Good for you

I think it was the only time I ever won You lose a lot of It was my last one I went out of winter Did you get any fights When you were playing hockey Like throwing off the gloves No no no

I was a little kid No no no I wasn't like that When I was a little kid But I did one time I was doing a scene And I was supposed to And I was supposed to

Miss the guy by a lot And I was like Kind of had him down And my elbow caught him You threw a haddish And yeah I threw a haddish And I caught him pretty good

And I kind of like looked down Like oh shit But we just kept rolling And God bless this guy He kept going with this stunt guy He took it And then cut And then immediately I ran back

I'm like Jesus Christ I'm so Did they end up using that take No they cut the whole scene No they cut the whole scene I felt bad for him Cause he caught my elbow He got hit for nothing

Sean when's the last time You threw a punch And Scotty doesn't count I haven't thrown a punch ever I drank some punch For breakfast this morning That counts That does count

But no but When I was doing three stooges I had to throw I had to hit this guy With a Like a shovel thing And it was made of rubber of course But the top of it was metal

And it hit him right smack dab In the middle of the forehead And cut his head open Yeah And cut his head open Third eye you busted his third eye Yeah his third eye yeah The only punch is that you guys

Have thrown that have all been set stories Hollywood stories from acting Or pathetic Well didn't you want me to call out The real stories The real fights I had Yeah of course Me and my sister we had a squabble

About six years ago Sisters can go huh Yeah and then I definitely punched my brother In the chest No when you fight a girl Are you allowed to grab the hair Yeah

I feel like that's a little unfair No it's not Okay Everything is a fight It's about whooping ass Yeah So snatch that here You snatch it here

And you botch botch botch In a face like that You hold the head with one hand And you grab the shirt So you can get a guy down on the ground I once I was best friends with the guy For a couple of years

So I thought I knew him pretty well And then we were at a bar And he got into it with some guy And the guy said let's go outside And my buddy said great fine So we all followed him outside And my buddy walks out there And the first thing he does

He pulls off his shirt And he says okay let's go And I was like what the fuck What's that move Taken off your shirt And I realized You take off your shirt So the guy can't grab you

And get an unfair advantage And I was like Jesus Christ That's strong Next time I get in a fight I'm taking off my shirt And I'll be like let's go bitches Yeah that's strong Like it's not earrings and fingernails

It's shirt comes off Yeah That would be like I'm gonna take my wig off Yeah I'm not fucking with her My wig off You hoes don't know What you mess with you

Yeah hold the phone Let me take my heart out Because you ain't fucking that up Jason do you think you'd ever be mad enough To take your wig off No no no Jason no I didn't think Wait

I take my wig off her swim team That's it Let me so Tiffany talking about All that sort of stuff I mean you don't fight anymore That much I don't imagine I mean I would fight if I had to If somebody hit me first

They better knock me the fuck out Because I'm all the rage All the angry back women Gonna come out All the anger from all the years All the nose is gonna rise up From my ovaries And shoot at them

I'm gonna turn it to one of them Mortal Kombat characters Why are you acting like that But I can't fight no more Because they say they gonna sue you People will sue you for whatever And it's like When they put their hands on me first

And I'm afraid for my life So now instead of fighting You laugh This is kind of what I'm getting to Which is like I use my words You use your words And you came up

You're from Los Angeles You grew up in South Central What was that leap How do you become a huge superstar That you are today What's that first step to Getting into comedy From where you grew up

Because that's a big leap, right? Yeah, it's a huge leap Well, first step is I watched this movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit And there's a scene in a movie Where the detective says to the rabbit Why are all these people

Doing these nice things for you He said because I make them laugh, Eddie If you make people laugh They'll do anything for you So I was like That's how I'm gonna get help With my homework That's how I'm gonna get people

To do things for me So I was just The silliest and funniest kid In school And I was already very shy So I was like forcing this To be funny Were you really?

Yes, I was very shy As a little girl Because there was a lot going on In my world But when I came into school I walk in like Okay, this is the funny thing That's gonna happen

I mean, I would plot and scheme The funny things I would do And say the night before The things I would wear And all of this So that I could be funny And I could get people To let me copy their homework

And let me cheat off their test Get them to read things to me And memorize it Like, I was very manipulative Where'd you get your sense of humor from? Was it one of your parents Or a sibling or watching TV Or movies?

My mom was pretty funny She was always telling stories And stuff My grandma was hilarious And I feel like TV Gave me everything You know what I mean? I would always try to copy

Different characters on TV Like, I would watch Bonanza Right? Like, that was one of my shows, Bonanza And that's not necessarily a funny show In Little House on a Pray But I was like, okay I'm gonna use this

Because when I started going to these schools I had white kids in it I'm like, I gotta use this This is their history So I gotta use this So I started wearing This is their history Cowboy vest with tassels on it

And I'd be like, hello, partner Howdy, partner Like, they'd be like laughing Like, it's so silly, Tiffany I wear like a bonnet You know, a bonnet Like for Little House on a Pray That you tie around

And I'd be like, hello, hello Hey, come help me Call me Lord Ingos Like, you can even laugh And we will be right back And now, back to the show Jason was on Little House on a Pray When he was a kid, true story

I know So you were actually telling his sister But I love also that you You're like, all the white kids Their existence is They all grew up in like, you know Like the 1800s Yeah

The poor strong carriages Here goes my thing I thought all white people lived in TV I thought everybody white that I saw Comes from some TV show, some program So that's all I saw, right? And then I'm in a community Where it's just black and some Hispanic

When the police would come I thought they were all from chips I'm like, oh man, can I get your autograph? I used to watch chips every day They all had the freaking mustaches And Miami Vice, the detective Come to the house looking for my auntie And I'm like, can I have your autograph, man?

Was there a black actor, a black show That inspired you when that broke And you were like, oh my god, that's not just TV There are black people in the world, too Well, yeah, well Martin was on TV That shit was funny Family matters Family matters, yeah

What was the character that Martin played The woman across as Shanae Nae? Shanae Nae Yes, Shanae Nae So funny My aunt, my aunt I just had lunch with Martin The other day I was like, this is so crazy

Because I used to watch every single show Every single movie, every single film And now I'm pitching movie ideas to him For us to work together And he wants to work with me, what? Oh, that's great I was mind blowing By the way, of course he wants to work with you

But what I used to say when I was a kid I used to sit and watch Martin and be like One day I'm gonna work with him I don't know how I'm gonna work with him I don't know why he will work with me But I'm gonna work with him in some kind of way But you know what, that's how it works As you know, it's like

It is that kind of like That dreaming about it And that thinking about like making it happen And just going like, I want this to work out I mean, it's not that easy But you know what I mean And was the attention you got from being funny Did that motivate you to want to be an actor?

No, what motivated me to want to be an actor Is this boy, he was in drama We was going to this predominantly white school It was 3% black And he was the only black boy in drama And I was like, oh, if I get in drama Then we gonna have to kiss They gonna have to put us together

So I got in drama And turns out I was really good at it Right And Did you get to kiss him? No, because my damn teacher was all liberal And open minded She believed the interracial couples

So I never got to kiss him I was so mad at her Like, come on Miss Young You got stuck with the white guys But where is it? What the racism not working for me today Oh, she made me sick But then we went into high school

And I followed him into drama in high school Like basically any classes he was doing And whatever he was trying to do That's what I was trying to do And he thought I was just like this silly girl That was always trying to make her laugh But I would save up money And buy him candy grams

And I make sure he'd like The candy grams usually just have blow pops But I knew he liked Snickers So I made sure there was a snicker in his candy grams I was on it And I would try to write him notes But I spell really bad It was like the worst speller, the worst reader

So I write him these notes And it would be all misspelled The only thing spelled right is my name What happened to this guy? Do you know where he is now? So he ended up playing for the Washington Redskins But I guess they're called something else now The Washington football team now

Yeah, Washington football team Washington football team Ended up playing for them And went to college and all that stuff And now he does commercial real estate He works for some big commercial real estate company And he has like five kids Are you guys still in touch?

He came to my comedy show at the Staples Center And I wrote about him in my book And he showed up with his wife And in my book I talk about like I gave him so much candy He probably doesn't have any teeth anymore And I hadn't seen him in over 20 years He shows up to my comedy show

And he has like all brand new teeth Like Hollywood teeth That's my fault That's hilarious But the thing that I loved about him the most Is that his laugh His laugh was like the best laugh in the whole wide world Like I just loved his laugh

And that's why I wanted to be around him all the time And I used to do whatever it took to make him laugh I would do it Like his laugh just made me When you were doing your show Could you hear him in the audience laughing? No, it was over 7,000 people I couldn't hear

Come on, Jason What do you think she's doing a show for five people? Well, maybe she gave him a good seat Where he was actually up front No, it was over 7,000 people 7,000 people You're talking to Tiffany Haddish, you asshole He did come backstage

And it was like a high school reunion Everybody I went to school with They had flew in the town and everything Because Tiffany Haddish was at the Staples It was huge And so he came backstage And we had like a party Back there and like

So all these people I went to school with was there And he was there And I was giving him all the attention And his wife too But I just wanted to hear him laugh And I heard like his laugh Made me feel like a little girl again And made me feel so happy

Oh, that's so great I love that I wanted to record this I was like, can you laugh into this recorder? He's like, what? I said, never mind That's creepy But I do like that idea

You guys probably remember too There are certain people in your life Especially or maybe in your family Who you like the way it made you feel When they laugh specifically them Like the sound of their laugh Or the way they laugh Did you guys have people like that in your life?

Sean or Jason? I did, yeah I mean, my sisters laugh Tracy, that's Tracy, my sister But wait, Tiffany, did you I think that says a lot about somebody Who keeps in touch with all of those people That you went to high school with

And you're still friends with them And that's so great They must just root for you My best friend from junior high She's got one of my favorite laughs too Selena, we've been best friends All these years since we were 12 How about that?

They all freak out where you are right now Like in life No, they knew it was going to happen at some point They knew I was going to do something It was like, either you're going to go to jail Or you're going to be famous as well So you're still so connected to where you're from In fact, aren't you opening a

Or did you open a supermarket back In the community that you came to? I'm in the process of opening a grocery store If you guys want to be on the board You are more than welcome That's so cool That's really cool Yeah, tell me about that

I just heard about that from our mutual friend Who told me that you're doing that Yeah, so Which is so great So I'm opening a grocery store Because they're shutting down Like I still live in South Central Los Angeles And the area is transforming

It's definitely changing This is probably why I have the blonde hair And I want to fit into my community But they've shut down like three grocery stores Around here Which is really not good And there's no plans of implementing Or putting into

Because of business? Because of poor business? No, because they don't want to pay Five dollars more Right Right They need to pay their employees Five dollars more

Because they're essential workers Or whatever And they don't want to do it So they're just shutting down the stores Also, you know, like we were supposed To have a Trader Joe's over here When I bought my house They were saying, oh, the Trader Joe's

Is going to open up over here And they didn't open a Trader Joe's And then, you know, in my research Of trying to open In the process of me opening this store I found out that Trader Joe's Only puts themselves in communities That have a high college graduate demographic

Wow So in South Central LA It might not be a lot of college graduates But there are a lot of business owners And people that work with their hands And, you know, service people But they don't want to put a Trader Joe's In this area

So that made me really upset Then the whole thing with Everything that was going on With the injustices and the marching And the protests And I heard the police say We're here to serve the owners We're here to protect the owners

Like that's what we're supposed to do Protect the owners And so that made me really infuriated Then I started reading all these books And I'm reading the color of money And how the other have banks And I'm seeing all the things that have happened And I started doing my research even more

And I'm seeing how in a black community It circulates for six hours But in every other community Pretty much every community Besides the black community The dollar circulates for at least 18 hours To 12 days In the Asian community

12 to 13 days I'm an idiot What does that mean circulates? Circulate means like Okay, so me going to get my hair done And then going to the gas station And then going to the grocery store And then going to like, you know

Buy clothing and do activities Like once I go get my hair done That's it There's nothing else that's owned by a black person There's not a lot of places to circulate that money I see Not a lot of like, owned businesses It's what I'm saying

It's not a lot of places to circulate That's wild So, like, I don't know if you notice this If you go to Koreatown There's Korean everything There's a Korean grocery store There's Korean bank There's Korean, you know, clothing store

Korean carpenters It's Korean everything When you go to a Mexican part of town There's a Mexican grocery store It's on every corner Little grocery stores Big grocery stores Like, Mexican this, Mexican that

Right, even banks When you go to a black community What do you see? Liquor stores run by Asians You see a lot of churches You know And once I get my tides over to the church That's pretty much it

You know You see hair salons Once I get my hair cut or hair done That's it So how are we supposed to maintain Generational wealth How are we supposed to keep people from going to jail Committing crimes

If there's no opportunity Something else I'm just remembering I saw you somewhere Speak about this I'm going to get it wrong So please correct me You really said the importance about Really thinking about how to

Reach the goal of owning something I thought that was so great Right So that's why I'm opening this grocery store Because I feel like What kind of business holds thousands of businesses In one place Grocery stores

There's a million There's 100,000 companies In a grocery store, right? So if I make sure that 75% of those products In that grocery store come from black vendors Black farmers Which I don't know if you know The disparity that's happening with black farmers

When we used to be the main farmers And now we get pushed out of farming So anyways I want to create a place for that synergy to happen Right And then not just It can be a mixture of things Because I know there's not

There's not enough black owned businesses To fill up the grocery store But have that be a priority And then it's not really a grocery store It's a community center Because I want there to be cooking classes Because they took home economics out of school Which I think is to destroy the families

Yeah I think that was to destroy the family structure Because if you can't feed your family If you can't maintain the bills And all this stuff That's what home economics teaches you how to do Then you The family falls apart

When the family falls apart The community falls apart When the community falls apart People are getting shot and killed There's crime happening Because families are root of everything So I want to teach financial literacy As well

So once you have People that know how to Understand money And how it works And you have people that are eating better Which is going to help with the mental health Right Jason

And they're able to cook for themselves And sense of pride Right Then they'll be stronger When they're stronger Their family is stronger When the family is stronger The community is stronger

And less need for violence That's This is fantastic How do I I want to get involved in that You're more than welcome to come You got my number, Sean I do, girl

Call me I'll put you on my board Count me and Will in as well We just had someone on the show LeBron James Who's very, very involved With community and family And all that stuff too

I bet you he'd lend a helping hand As well Especially in Los Angeles Well, I'm definitely My next step is to reach out To a lot of the athletes But Kevin's on my board Lil' Ralph Hallory's on my board

Jada Pinkett Smith Snoop We got people from the community But I need your help too Listen, count us in Anything I can do Count all three of us in Tiffany, you're incredible

I love Yeah, it's so motivating You're such a self-starter And there's nothing that holds you back You're just like This is a problem Let's go to the root of the problem Let's do it

And I think you I feel like you're like that In every aspect of your life You make shit happen I'm a visionary I'm a visionary And then I try to pull the people together To help me make this thing happen

I love it I've been sitting with City Council Like sitting with the City Council members Been sitting with the City Supervisors And I've come up with like two locations That I think are great I got to figure out how much it's going to cost That's the part

I faved up all this money Literally Because the government Be trying to take all your money Right So I figured out a way to put The money to the side For the community

So like And it's like tax-free And it's for the community This is where Panama comes in This is Panama This is old Panama Have you considered money, Carlo? And the Cayman Islands as well

You just need a big duffel bag I've been to the Cayman Islands Not interested Haven't been to Monte Carlo But I will check it out The Monaco is incredible for banking So what does your vision look like For ten years from now?

Because your ascension has been incredible I even have a whole book Okay This is how hard I've been working on it I have a whole book phone What it would be For the co-op Yes, for the co-op

For the grocery store So what's the ratio that you would love to see Between your philanthropy And your career And your life with common And all kinds of things Like, is there... Are you the kind of person that has a firm vision

Of what the next year, five, ten years looks like And that's what guides you? Yeah, I have a plan I have a plan But I don't know Of course you do But it's God's plan, right? I have an idea of what I want

But whatever God has in store That's what's going to happen, right? But I have it all written out Like, you know, in my mind I'm going to open a grocery store Up in two to three years It'll open I have Discovery Plus

Following me around Recording all of it Because, you know In my community, a lot of people are like Why don't Oprah come back And open up a bank? Why don't they... These people get all famous

And they don't do anything in the community And it's like, it's really difficult If you don't have the proper help If you're not willing to like Talk to your friends And ask for help And be like, who do you know That can help me get this done

Like, if you're not willing to do that Put yourself out there like that It's very difficult to do Right So I've been putting myself out there And trying So in my mind The store opened in two years

Maybe three And then I'll open them up All over the country And in ten years They'll be in every Underserved community all over That's so exciting And then people will have

More home ownership America will be great America will be great again Because they'll be more Secure people mentally, physically And financially Yeah, I love that Look at you go

Are you in common going to get married Or are you going to remain Just common law partners I have no idea Well, first of all We're not necessarily common law Because we don't live In the same house

Oh, that's true I would love for him To always be my friend If he decides he wants to marry me Who he gonna have to... I don't want to ring I want an apartment building You know what I mean

I can know how they'd like Present you with a ring I don't want him to present me With the deed to a duplex Or a 36plex Present me with an apartment building Because then... Does he know this?

Yes, he's aware He said I'm crazy for that I said no, I'm not crazy I'm smart because a marriage Is a union of two businesses And the whole point of coming together Is to grow yourselves But also grow a family

And make sure they have something To inherit So this ring They can inherit the ring But that ain't... What's that? Two thousand, three thousand Maybe ten thousand dollars

What is that? But if you get an apartment building That will increase in value The children will always be able To go to school We'll always have something If we get sick or something We'll have something to cash out

And be able to take care of ourselves There'll be something there for us God bless you That's what I want That's great, I love that Come at me with a deed, baby Don't come at me with a ring Yeah, put a deed on it

Because if you're trying to buy my life And change my last name To your last name His name's so common The ring ain't gonna do it We can get the ring after you get the building You're lucky he doesn't have a last name I mean, that's the good part

He does have a last name Oh, he does, I know It's O-N No It's Lynn All right, back to the show You seem to have it all figured out I don't have it all figured out

I'm just... No, you got it all figured out Having a plan is seventy-five percent Of the way there So you and Kevin have known each other At Kevin Hart I've known Kevin for a long time, too For twenty years or something

I met him, he was doing a pilot With my ex-wife years ago Such a good guy Yeah, I agree Such a great dude How big of a part did Kevin play In your life when you were starting out? Well, in the first beginnings

Like I started in ninety-seven So in the first beginnings, not much But me and Kevin, we met like 2004, 2005 And he's been like a big brother to me Ever since Giving me great advice, guidance When I was homeless

He gave me a few hundred dollars To get a place to stay Hold on He was like, stay in a hotel For a week and I'm like Let's pause there When were you homeless? Walk us through that

Three different times The first time is when I was emancipated From foster care I was homeless The next time is when When me and my auntie were sharing an apartment And then we basically got evicted Because they were selling the apartment

And there was no money You know how when they ask you to leave They give you like your deposit back And all that What they were taking forever to give that back So my auntie moved in with her dude I moved into my car I got into my car

And so I was like sitting in front of It was crazy because I was like Sitting in front of the department Children services office Because I found out they had An independent living program For emancipated foster youth And so an independent living program

They teach you how to pay your bills How to pay rent How to you know Fill out applications How to apply for jobs And all this stuff And I already had a job I just didn't have a place to stay

So I was getting on these social workers' nerves too Two weeks I was in their office Every day washing my ass Sitting in their lobby Go to work Come back Sleep in front of their building in my car And then finally they gave me an apartment

And things worked out great But then I was emancipated from that You know you could only be there for so long And they gave me my money to move But Things didn't just didn't just didn't pan out They didn't pan My credit wasn't good enough

A lot of things wasn't good I didn't understand the power of credit I didn't understand It was a lot of things I didn't know Because I didn't have a mother or a father Or anybody teaching me about like certain things So it was very difficult right It's incredible the way that you figured

Everything out and you put You put everything in front of you And you knocked it down It's just it's really stunning I mean good for you So I would go do these comedy shows I would go do these comedy shows I'm at the Laugh Factory

And that's where I would get to eat Right and that's where I get to be around people And I would just I would just try to be as happy As possible right Just as much joy as possible And it was so crazy because Kevin Like I had all my stuff in the car And Kevin pulled up behind me one day

And I would show up like 10, 15 minutes late Like I'd be down the street but I would wake So nobody could see all the shit in my car And Kevin pulled up behind me He saw it all and he was like What's going on with you? And I was like nothing, nothing He was like what's all that in your car?

I'm just in between places I'm moving right now And at this point I'm sleeping in front of like These houses and Beverly Hills You know just in like washing up my job And just you know trying to And always make sure my hair was done And my nails were done

Because I figured if my hair and nails are always done Nobody will know you know And I keep baby wipes always smell good Like nobody will know But me but Kevin figured it out At a conversation with me He's like write out a list of goals He's like I want you to get

Here's a few hundred dollars Write out a list of goals He starts doing one thing every day Towards that goal You can do at least one thing Every day towards the goal You'll accomplish it I talk to, I go to

I have a scholarship set up In my alma mater Illinois State University And when I go down there And talk to the kids It's the first thing I say I always talk about writing out your goals And exactly everything you're saying It's so true

That's the first step You got to see it If you see it It becomes infectious Wow Tiffany that's incredible Tiffany it's so incredible Like you go from this thing And talking about you know

Even just now when you're talking about it Obviously it's very emotional About being in that place Where I mean real struggle Really real struggle And then your day And then what you're going to do Is you're going at night

And you're making people laugh Out of your own struggle The flip of it is You're going and making people laugh There's something sort of So bigger than all of us in that There's something really really powerful About that

That you were able to go and do that Because I know for me I would feel such a sense of give up Like fuck I want to be able to do it And to hear how Not only are you able to get it But that was my drug It's still my drug

It's the laughter It's my drug I get that I mean yeah I needed it to even be able to sleep To even be able to feel okay About like anything What was the one moment though

Through all of that And all of that pain and that struggle What was that one What was the first glimmer of light What was the first moment you were like Wait a minute I think this might be the gate out of here Kevin caring

Somebody actually caring In like trying to help Then Paul Mooney found out And Paul Mooney's like I heard you was homeless You need to get your You need a place to stay My sister

She got kids She need a nanny You could go stay over there And take care of her kids I'm like I'd much rather be homeless Than be a nanny But no wonder you're so focused

On giving back And providing some hope And some guidance And some advice to folks That might be right where you were X number of years ago And just even just letting them know That it's possible

And here was my path Good for you So inspiring It's so inspiring I mean it's a long ass road It's a long long journey Jason you wouldn't have been able To go live in your car Jason right

Because the Porsche is so small In those days Like you would have But I had a Geometro bro I was in a two hour hatchback Geometro You can live in anything If you want to live

My God It's so inspiring It makes me It is inspiring It is incredible You're such a force I will say again When we first got to know each other

And Tiffy You don't have kids though Do you want kids? I don't have any kids I do want to adopt I don't know if I'm even Physically capable Of actually giving birth

You know that's on God But definitely I want to adopt Because I wish somebody Would have adopted me And taught me Like a better way So I want to do that For somebody else

Everything I wish would have Happened for me Is what I'm trying to give To others You know that's what I'm trying To do for somebody else That's so That's just

That's such a basic Sort of You know some people We all sort of grow up With a certain level of You know pluses and minuses And all of our situations And every kid has a choice

To whether We're going to take And learn from it Or sort of spend their life You know everyone's Going to pay the bill now You know but taking it And sort of seeing

Well this is the opposite Of what I want And I'm going to do The positive side of it The different side of it It's just such a generous And a lovely way to Approach life

With such a healthier Perspective I literally just wrote down What you said Who me? No not me No what Tiffy just said Everything I wish happened

To me is what I want To get back to others I love that Yeah Would you rather Your entire year be spent On stage doing stand up Or do you love being on sets

In that whole process Because it's a wildly Different thing On stage On stage much more fun On stage because it's Immediate gratification Right

Immediate Unless it's like a Super dope ass crew Like if the crew's Really dope And we like have A really great time together Which like that was girls' trip

We would have so much fun together And they'd be like Cut and we're all laughing And they'd be like I can't believe you just did that Like if it's that thing Then great but on stage is Well you're now in a position

To any set that you're on You can control the Or certainly influence the The vibe, the atmosphere The harmony on that set You can set an example And basically say Let's not all take ourselves seriously

And let's have fun out here Yeah and we always have fun And no matter what set I'm on We have a good time I always have a good time Even if I'm like Feeling sick or something I'll be like everybody

I don't feel that best today So I might be a little bit Out of character But just work with me But I feel like I'm turning into the devil himself Okay But we gonna work with him

In action Hey guys One day we were doing press And you were really sick Remember you were really sick And then we went over to England And you were so tired But she wouldn't take a day off

You were like doing shows And you were doing the thing And then you flew to England You were like sick But you could not tell Once they were rolling You were like You were in it

In action Yeah Wait tip you have a show tonight This afternoon This afternoon Oh my god I wanna see you do One of those big huge venue shows

Cause I feel like that used to happen A lot more when I was a little kid Like you know the George Carlins Or the Richard Priers Or Eddie Murphy's Or those big shows Robin Williams do them

Right Do we have many of those anymore I mean I guess we do right Netflix does tons of those Yeah You should look on the internet dude I do tons of them Like I go on tour

And it's like just theaters I do theaters Like you know 4,000, 5,000 seat theaters And do you walk around each day With like a little pad of paper In your back pocket And when you see Or think of something funny

You jot it down Or is your mind Can you just like Remember that stuff I voice record I voice record it Yeah On my phone

I also like If somebody ever got a hold of my phone And listened to Or my voice memo They would be like What the That's what she thinking I would kill to hear that

I would love to hear that Like it's some crazy stuff And then what's your process after that I'll call my friends And talk about it Oh so you'll talk to your friends about it But then will you write it down And actually try to structure it

In some sort of like How much do you rely on Kind of the written word Or will you just kind of Freestyle it And just kind of have a concept If I feel like it's a big concept A big idea

I will sit down in my notebook And I'll write it down Usually Right before I go to bed I'll listen to All the voice memos That I've done And I'll write down

The biggest ideas Right And the biggest ideas I'll like put little Like a Remember how in school Used to do the The thought bubble

And then all the little Bubbles all around it Right So And I'll do that Like little bubbles all around Like little punch lines Potential funny things

How would I tell this As a story And then I let it go And I stick it under my pillow And I go to sleep Right And I imagine it's happening

In my brain As I'm sleeping I love that Is that a process That someone taught you Or is that you created Your own way To do it that way

I'm kind of just doing that In comedy camp When I went to the Laugh Factory comedy camp They would teach us Like If you have a punch line The thing that's funny

You write that down And then You write it out as a story Then write it out as a story And how do you get to that punch line But always go with the story Like the stories are the best things The best comedians tell a story

And it's filled up with punches Right And your laughs per minute You want You know, you want to Depends on you as a person Do you want 30 laughs per minute You want

So like every two seconds Somebody's laughing Or do you want You know 5 or 10 or 15 laughs per minute Depends on the Design of the story though Right

Like how do you want it And how physical is the comedy Then I start watching a lot of Like Jerry Lewis and Charlie Chaplin And all these Because they were resonating All over the world Well, how do you resonate

All over the world If you don't speak The languages of All over the world Physical You got to use your instrument You got to use your body You got to have

In the tone of your voice The way that you talk And the way you squint your face It's like People understand that No matter what Yeah No matter what they speak

They feel They know energy Right So make sure your energy's on And you can Like And learn how to gauge that With the words

You seem to have Sean, do you think you'll ever get Above zero laughs per minute No I'm Look, if I get one If I get one No, that'd be so good

Right, if you got one That'd be so good I go for one every like Four or five hours Yeah You're crushing it But Tiffany You seem to have like

Endless, bountiful energy Yeah And And positivity And Oh no, I'm an asshole First thing in the morning Yeah

Piece of shit Yeah, but who is it? Piece of shit after my cold shower I mean, do you have Do you have energy Do you have energy like this All day, every day? No

When I'm at home And I'm not I'm working And I'm alone I'm very quiet Very like Reserved Even like when I'm

With my man I'm very quiet He has to talk You talk to me And then I'll talk back Like I'm very Like Contempt

When I'm not at work Would you say you're an introvert? Because I know I am No No, because if I see something That I'm into I'm gonna I light up

Yeah But most of the time I'm on like I'm trying to keep Maintaining my energy So Yeah I'm quiet

A lot of the time Till you talk to me Yeah But introvert No Because maybe when I was younger Yes Yeah

Because I was scared A lot of the times Yeah Fear makes you Like It's risky You know It feels like you flipped

All that fear Like you used Yeah I learned how to control fear Yeah Yeah, you used the fear Like fear is a tool God gave it to us

For a reason For using Right How to use it But that's also why I don't do scary movies Because I know That that shit

That fear feels real And I'm gonna take that home And then Yeah Yeah Shit It's like I love a good drama

Because I'm about that drama But woo That scary demons and shit Woo I wanna quickly just Tiffany ask you about your new movie Talk to us a little bit about your movie Well talk to us about

Which one Which one do you want to talk about Which one do you want to talk about Your choice You've got so many movies Well Here today just came Outstreaming

It's now streaming It's a movie with Billy Crystal and I It's very powerful comedy Dramity I would say I saw the trailer for that It looks great Yeah It's really great

I wanna see that It's very moving You need to be prepared to laugh And potentially cry a little bit Because this is about a man That's going through dementia And about a woman who sees him And realizes he doesn't have

The help that he needs And she wants to help She wants to be a service He's one of our greats I bet you enjoyed working with him Oh my God I learned so much Yeah

I learned so much So Card counters coming out in September I'm going to the Venice Film Festival To be my first time ever going to Venice Oh wow It's a Sean and I have been there together

Sean and I went to Venice together It's beautiful Years ago You'll love it Any tips, any advice They told me I can only bring One person with me But I'm gonna pay to bring other people

Yeah Like hair and makeup Right Yeah of course Security Any advice You know what We took the boat out to some

Location near Venice And saw some church that was built Thousands of years ago I highly recommend it I'll text you with more Specific information No that sounds pretty specific Nice tip

You ever work for Fedors? So yeah My recommendation is just bring Some rubber boots Because the water level is rising There Yeah But it's beautiful

Just enjoy all of it I mean it's unbelievable Tiff thank you for being here today And also thank you for Such For being open like you always are And inspiring Not just me and us

But whoever is listening to this You really are such a magnet Incredible story Of will Thank you You're an incredible story An incredible person I agree with Sean

You're a special person So this has been awesome Having you here today So thank you so much I'm gonna go the other way on this Hold on a second Tiffany I find it all very No

I absolutely agree And just so happy That you spent some time with us today And we're so generous With your story And your Well thank you Well I'm always open to share

And I look forward to working with you all At some point Yeah likewise Will? Yes Steve God bless Jason I can't wait to work with you

Did you guys come out with another season of Ozark Because I want to know what the fuck happened We are working on it now To bet you first part of next year it'll be out And Sean and I We're gonna do a sketch show together Correct Sean? Yes that is correct

One of these days We made a deal together And we're gonna do a sketch show I would watch the hell out of that Because I'm like What the hell is going on COVID happened And shut the whole thing down

But it's gonna happen We gotta make it happen We are I'm gonna make it happen Let's all meet at the supermarket We'll meet at the new supermarket And we'll work it all out Let's do it

We'll see you at the co-op Alright Tiffany my god Thank you so much Love you See y'all later Bye Tiffany thank you Bye Tiffany

Bye sweetie Bye Bye bye What a sweetheart I will say We got along so great And I love spending time with her We got to spend a bunch of time together

Over the course of a few weeks And we laughed so much And had so much fun And she does have a magnetic personality She really does So authentic So funny So authentic

So honest And those are my favorite stories Of all time I love those stories People really lifting themselves up And making stuff happen You know my therapist calls those types of people Figure it outers

And she goes Oh you are a figure it outer Sean Your therapist sounds like a real genius Yeah it sounds like Real way with words Do you get a deal on this one? What happened?

We just left 20 bucks an hour Never tell anybody else that story Is my advice to you I will 20 bucks an hour And that's a break for me It's usually 25 or something Oh boy

I talked her down But Tiffany Yeah I love her Tiffany is amazing And all the stuff she does And you know she's I heard that she was Trying to put this supermarket together

Back in her community Where she grew up And I'm so into that I really want to get involved somehow No kidding Me too By the way

People listening are like Yeah I listen to these guys Who probably never do it It's for real Like she's Yeah no I'm serious Yeah same same same Jason doesn't want to do it

No you know what I'm doing I find myself sitting here Trying to think of How can I work a buy into this thing And you know it's I should be thinking about the conversation And not about trying to figure out How to say goodbye

In a creative You're trying to work out Yeah I'm trying to think like What's in a supermarket That starts with a buy Well just about everything You can buy Buy

Ah God that's right Right there Bye Smart Plus Smart Plus

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