Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - A Bad Case Of The Sillies | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: December 21, 2024

Who let out all these silly geese?? Head to https://factormeals.com/50pitreddit and use code 50pitreddit to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. 0:00 Intro 1:51 I gaslight my husband when we fight https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1gpqqus/i_gaslight_my_husband_when_we_fight/ 6:54 I didn't know a candle wasn't supposed to be lit https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1g277sk/aita_for_not_knowing_a_candle_wasnt_supposed_to/ 15:06 Accidentally opened porn site on work laptop https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1g67ui1/opened_redtube_pornography_on_work_laptop/ 19:25 My bf's relationship with his teddy bear bothers me https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1gg5yyr/my_21f_boyfriends_23m_relationship_with_his/ 32:07 Sponsor 33:30 Asked my sister to replace my jellybeans her son at https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1go5p9d/aita_for_asking_my_sister_to_replace_my/ 49:03 My partner whispered "I hate you" when he thought I was asleep https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1gnrf0b/my_partner_28m_whispered_i_hate_you_when_he/ 55:20 My bf suddenly "became gay" due to altitude difference https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1gdor7n/aita_for_not_believing_my_boyfriend_that_suddenly/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Spencer Agnew // https://www.instagram.com/spennser/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Bailey Petracek Editor: Vida Robbins Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Bailey Petracek Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Matt Taylor Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Quincy Bell Production Intern: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Social Media Intern: Mailyn Stiffler Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme, silly, some silly stories. And I'm joined by two silly Gooses, uh, sharks, uh, Spencer. Wait, sing a song for us. What? Sing a song. We will take over the world. Yeah, that million dollar.

My first thought was awesome powers as well. Oh my God. There it is. Same brain. Um, you guys are in chairs for reasons we cannot tell you. Um, I got too silly with it. Spencer got too silly with it. The couch will be back next week. Mom and dad needed to be separated a little bit.

I was humping the couch. I wasn't gonna tell them and now you revealed it. No, it's, I don't want like too much, yeah, my neck hurts and so it hurts for me to be like, don't do that then. You just did it. Well no, it hurts to prolong to keep it, like I can, I was worried when we did Resident Evil

cause I like to look back at you guys. Oh, and I was worried we do Resident Evil cuz I like to I like To look back at you guys. Oh, I just wanted to take one more look at you. I was wondering Sorry, uh So kiana picked all these stories. Oh my god, they're gonna be silly. They're gonna be fun They're good. These are gonna be some extra silly stories I don't really know what What kiana's definition of silly is, but we're gonna find out.

I think anything can be silly to Kiana with the right, with the right like, mood. Packaging. Yeah, with the right packaging. With the right packaging. We're about to read the most messed up story we've ever heard and Kiana's gonna be like, wasn't that silly?

Yeah. Like what's silly anymore, you know? I don't know, man. I think my brain is too broken. Well, let's hop into these. OK. OK, this first story comes from True Off My Chest. I gaslight my husband when we fight.

This is silly. So silly. So silly. Yeah. This isn't anything crazy, just something funny that I want to tell people about, but can't risk getting caught. My husband, who's 30, and I, 30, have been together for eight years.

For the past couple of years, I have been making him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day to take to work. I use Welch's grape concord jelly. This is important for later. Every day, he tells me that I make the best sandwiches, and I just say, I make it with love. However, when we're fighting, he always says he can taste the difference in his PB&J. And I say, because I made it with hate. But the truth is, he can taste the hate in his sandwich

because when we fight, I use organic sugar-free grape jam. It's in the back of the fridge and he's never seen it. So it's what I use to convince him that he can't make me mad or my anger makes food taste different. So you're... I don't like this story. Yeah, your man lacks curiosity. He's not exploring the fridge. He's not exploring what... Yeah, what...

To not... I am so locked in on all of my fridge... Yeah. ...that you can't hide anything from me. Like, does he never go shopping? Is it just... He only eats one PB&J every day. I would argue this is the ideal husband.

He's not asking questions. Whoa! He's like, yeah, there was hate in that. There was hate in that? And it sounds like he feels like he deserves it, like he knows he did something wrong. He's at work and he's like, my wife made hate in my sandwich.

Ptooey! Ptooey! Oh man! My wife made hate This is weird Your husband your husband he's a he's kind of a chef isn't he yeah, okay? Yeah, I mean he's not a chef But he like he knows like oh he knows the vibe he's out the fridge like every two weeks whoa like takes things out of ugly bottles and puts them in nice bottles like that's cool and I'm like well we don't have to and he's like we're doing it so oh that's his vibe

remember your guess the fridge so he would have clocked the jelly mm-hmm you would have been like what is this like? This isn't hate, this is lack of sugar. Yeah, exactly. And what is hate if not lack of sugar? Oh my God, so true. Oh. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow, he broke my knuckles. My hand is broken. That was crazy. That's my game. I like to hit. That was crazy. That's my game. I like to hit it. That was full on cat behavior there. Being all nice and just,

I think we would have a lot of fun if we just like fully fought. Oh my God. Like that'd be crazy. Your whole body flies across the studio. No, that's like, it would truly be like a cartoon fight. If you guys were just shittier people, it would make for great content. We are shitty are shitty people like if we boxed or something

I would take your neck and the bottom of your ankle Me like Bane breaking Batman That's really good. Comments on this, naughty husbands get the sad jam. Yikes! You didn't read that in the right accent, bro. Naughty husbands get the sad jam. We shan't be telling your mother about this, shan't we? Shant.

Um, someone else said, this reminds me of something We shan't be telling your mother about this, shan't we? Shant. Someone else said, this reminds me of something I occasionally do when my kids are being stinkers. I make their sandwiches with end pieces that are all crust. Stinkers? Brutal. Nothing unsexy about a parent calling their kids stinkers. Yeah. You look at your husband, you're like, God, he was hot.

And then he calls his kids, like, you little stinker. I feel like if I were a dad, I'd be doing that. I know. That's why I would take your whole body and chuck it. We're changing the narrative. Lastly, someone says, my barista friend said when a customer is rude, she makes their latte with decaf espresso.

It's her way to get a little dig in. What would, what would- That's deviant. What would we do as like on smosh you'd be like oh we wait we take out a reddit story yeah like we should we make we delete our best reddit story I think my my favorite moment where I feel like I kind of got to punish the audience I don't know punishes the right word but just get to like slap like slap in the face kind of was smoshmouth where it

appears and it's Angela and the lime shirt that was those kind of prank god damn funny And I mean I think like in a way I Think maybe people perceive like when we had you guys do the staring contest like that was like that was like a punishment But it's like no we just we thought that was legitimately really funny. I thought you guys content We've ever done legitimately so funny, and I'm sorry, I'm always gonna, people love to cite that as like, oh Smosh Games is washed. It's like, I counter that and say

that was actually one of the funniest things we've ever done. We laughed so hard. It was really great. Okay, our next story. Our next silly story. Silly. That one was silly.

That was so fast. That was really silly. Yeah. So we've already got hate sandwiches. Mm. Am I the asshole for not knowing a candle wasn't supposed to be lit? Parenthesis, it had wicks. Oh.

Me looking at my DVD collection. Like John Wick, I guess. John Wick. Yeah, pretty cool. I wouldn't actually own this though. Nice stuff. I went to the bathroom last night and it was stinky. So what happened? These are so silly. Dude, my little stinkers. I went to the bathroom last night and it was stinky. So

What happened these are so silly do my little stinkers so I dropped some stinkers So being the considerate boyfriend I am I lit the candle my girlfriend left on top of the toilet and then we went to Walk the dogs the candle looked like most scented candles I've seen round glass tan colored wax inside a candle Yeah, round glass tan colored wax inside smelled good had fucking wicks we get back smoke alarm is going off house is cloudy But no worse than burning food in the oven smokes worse in the bathroom So I blow out the candle and she tells me you're not supposed to light that candle what the fuck why would it have wicks why would she put it on top of the toilet to me it's like having a doormat you're not supposed to step on in front of your door do most guys know about this she

seems mad at me but I told her it's crazy to do that am I the asshole this is new to me I don't know what this candle is but I do I am someone I never leave a candle lit when I'm not in the house. No, no. You blow out all the candles before you leave. Yeah, of course. That's a recipe for disaster. Wait a second, I know there's like bathroom things that smell good, but if it has a wick,

I would light it too. But then I would blow it out. Discussion of leaving an open flame in the house is one thing. She's mad at him for lighting this specific candle, which he was like, this candle looks like it was supposed to be lit. She's mad at him for lighting this specific candle which he was like this candle looks like it was supposed to be lit She's mad at him for lighting that when it's like oh this isn't meant to be lit This is it just gave off a bunch of smoke. I think I'm a little empathetic cuz this sounds like something I would do

I think his reaction is is bad. He's strong. Yeah, like oh I fucked up Yeah, like hey, sorry, but it's also a little crazy that there are candles you aren't supposed to light. I kind of agree. A little silly that there is these. So the verdict was you're the asshole. Comments, dude, never leave a candle lit in a room you're not staying in, but especially not when you're leaving the house.

Your girlfriend might have wanted the candle because it was pretty, and you can pick it up to smell it. Yes, I can see why you thought it could be lit, but that takes a backseat to lighting it and then leaving the house. You're the asshole. It was stinky. Someone else said, you're the asshole.

All candles have wicks, even the decorative ones. But more importantly, all candles that are meant to be burned need to have the wick trimmed first. If you don't trim the wick, then the candle is a fire danger. Did you trim the wicks? I bet not. You also never leave a burning candle unattended.

Don't ever light a candle in the bathroom and leave the bathroom I didn't realize this is our candle Jesus Christ Yankee candle Decorative candles I like that fucker. Yeah, I don't understand that like I love candles, but I get candles I get candles that are meant to be lit. Yeah. I mean, he's an idiot for leaving it, like... Why did it smoke so bad?

Because it's clearly a candle that's... Oh, it's a steak? It's a decorative... It's, like, a kind of a decorative candle. And also, if it's a candle that the wick needs to be trimmed, but most candles I get already have that done. Oh, no. She has decorative towels

that you're not supposed to touch, probably. Um, lastly, someone said, You're the asshole. One, you don't leave a lit flame when you aren't in the house. You screwed up just by doing that. Two, not all candles are meant to be lit. Some are just for decoration.

Three, all you needed to do was ask if it was okay to light the candle. Why? But then she would know it was stinky. It's so weird to me that someone would ask every little thing, like, Is it okay if I light I can't I did a stinky I am super I am super unfamiliar with the idea of a candle that looks and has wax but isn't meant to be lit

I'm especially placed in a place like the bathroom and I guess and there must have been matches or maybe maybe had a lighter maybe some later on but I Maybe he had a lighter. Maybe he smokes if you have a lighter on. But I, yeah, or maybe the wick wasn't trimmed, I guess. This is so silly. I want to hear Kiana's take on the story. Yeah, the only thing that I will flame him for, silly, is I don't light candles that leave the house.

I don't. I wonder how long they've been dating. How long has he seen this candle there? He's always been thinking about it's like he's like I gotta light that how intense like what's his number two? Yeah, it must have been bad must have been stinky All right update. Oh Crazy story have an update. I'm please. Okay. It is a fucking candle like Candle candle. I've been at work all night, but I got home and just looked at the bottom Okay It is a fucking candle like a candle candle I've been at work all night, but I got home and just looked at the bottom

Instructions say trim wick to a quarter inch before lighting. I did not do this being the apparent caveman. I See candle I light candle She's asleep so I can't rub it in her face after she said that candle isn't supposed to be lit They're not meant for that, but this is all I need. Am I the asshole for leaving it lit for a quick piss walk before bed with her and her dogs? Yes. Am I an asshole for thinking this stupid thing was in fact a candle? No. The cutting the wick thing was ignorant for not thinking the protective lid that usually comes with a plastic peel around it would have prevented someone from lighting it. Otherwise, they probably should make the damn things ready to go.

Here's a lesson to anyone out there about to light a candle. Apparently, they have instructions. I now know she was wrong and we never got into a major fight, so I will humbly and in the least petty way just leave the candle upside down next to the sink so when she wakes up first to brush her teeth she can know that this candle was in fact meant to be lit and That I was right. Yeah, that'll work. That'll that's gonna go great. She's gonna love that. She's like honey. You were right What it's Christmas Get add links or pics here, but it's called mermaid shimmer from at home I may be dumb but I can hang my hat up knowing I had every right to light it

Good night to all and have a pleasant tomorrow. I gotta be honest. I gotta be honest. You're the asshole for The wicks gonna get all wet and then you're never gonna be able to light it we were we were Don't yes, we were we were trying to be empathetic to this guy But the way he wrote that update just solidified that he is such good night to all good night. Have a pleasant tomorrow I'm like go fuck yourself. Fuck yourself. I hope you catch on mermaid glitter Yeah, I mean to me it's just like it's more of like a it's it's more of a fuck you to this like reddit Like, you know, if some if if reddit attacked me for being like dude, you didn't trim the wick. You're what are you fucking stupid? Fuck you guys like I'm gonna go like live my life. I'm gonna go sleep next to my girlfriend

Is the coolest oh I don't know how common of knowledge like the trimming of the wicks is I did buy a wick trimmer after you know what I'm friends with Keanu who's a candle expert but I feel like that's a like you're in the know here's the thing I also love candles and not all candles you need to trim the wicks some come pre trimmed Do you like a number I've never trimmed a wick on it wood wick is great, but it can be loud and crackly Oh, I have one at home, but I kind of like it. I love it Yeah, what about like a three wick candle then it goes too fast. We'll see I like it cuz I like the throw Pay manning fucking crazy man If the throw is like how much Peyton Manning like it's how much scent it puts out like oh

It's like this this candle is a good it's how much scent it puts out like oh This candle is a good throw means it like it it puts out a lot of smell this thing is throwing scent Yeah, whoa, I went in the club. She was throwing candle sling and said she was throwing yeah Okay Here we go moving on from that silly one. That was so silly. That was pretty silly. Yeah. This next one comes from true off my chest. Opened red tube, parenthesis pornography, on work laptop. Received invite to meeting with management the next day. Buddy, come on.

I was so stressed. I just have to let this out somewhere. At some point, I logged into my Gmail on my work laptop and all of my chrome bookmarks were imported I enjoy wholesome amateur pornography created by real couples where you can tell they actually love each other and are enjoying themselves Some point I booked marked Funny I only like porn where I can tell they love each other So funny. I only like porn where I can tell they love each other. At some point, I bookmarked a RedTube link

with a title like Super Real and Authentic. On Monday, I was attempting to find a public records link for work with a similar name, like Supervisor, but clicked on that link and suddenly saw RedTube on my work laptop. I screamed out loud. I deleted the bookmark and my browsing history. The next day I got a team's invite for a meeting with management for Thursday.

Today. We had the meeting today. It was an annual performance review and I did fine. There were no issues. If the IT guys saw that they did not rat me out. I haven't been this relieved since the moment I gave birth. It's a woman. Oh, it's a woman. Women can watch porn. Women can watch porn. Oh yeah. Women watch porn. Amateur porn. I like her saying that she screamed out loud,

just like she's on her laptop and just gets pulled up and she just goes, oh! I feel like this is a lesson in keeping your personal stuff and work stuff separate. Yeah. That can't accidentally happen. Also you need to like, once you go on the site, you need to immediately delete it,

delete your search history and just. They were bookmarking stuff. So you like, well yeah, I've never bookmarked porn. No. I just remember it. I can fairly say. I remember all the details, all the tags, everything. I can find it.

Yeah. Searching my. Yeah, I searching my Sherlock Holmes Love each other only where they love each other though, that's fun fucking homegrown Red I feel like red tube. I gotta make sure they're married before I watch I get what I need I need to see that ring Yeah, it's funny, I mean, not to get too in the weeds, but I feel like RedTube was such a thing in 2013.

Yeah. It kind of fell off. It's a name I've not heard in a long time. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, RedTube. The old magics. The Lost Arts.

RedTube. This is from a month ago. Whoa! I gotta see if she's still up. Yeah, dude I gotta find this vid. Oh They love each other they're kissing I love it they're hugging yeah, like you can't this is your work iPad you imagine you imagine reddit stories Bailey's like hey, can we stop down Shane? What are you doing? I'm just sweating. I'm just like Bailey's like, hey, can we stop down? Shane, what are you doing?

And I'm just sweating, and I'm just like. Not the asshole. Not the asshole. Not the asshole. Oh, there's the asshole. I was waiting. Comments, it's got to be because you totally only watch the most wholesome porn.

Someone else said, as someone who works in IT, we don't care. We're not snitches. Lastly, someone said, a few years ago, I was working with someone who was always on Reddit at work, never saw what specifically, but he was a chill dude, so we never looked too closely. One day, we were testing out a new screen monitoring program with all of our CEO executives team. It randomly switches to this guy's screen, and everyone was treated to a hentai image

of some woman being demolished by some kind of monster The guy's supervisor just went white in the face. He was fired the next day Fired They were they walked up there like nerd. Yeah, like literally who cares but demolished by a monster That's very you don't want to see that. Yeah hard to see not wholesome No kissing no that. Yeah hard to see not wholesome. Oh not wholesome. No kissing. No kissing. Yeah No hugging. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh don't like that pre marital not from me, bro. No, no silly So anyways, I booked a cow

This next story comes from best of Redditor updates. My boyfriend's, this is a 21 year old woman, my boyfriend's relationship with his teddy bear is making me uncomfortable. I've seen this film, the Mark Wahlberg one. Ted? Yeah. No. Is this Mark?

AI. The old movie? He's got the teddy bear at talks. The Joe Osmond? Okay, now please no joke, this is actually serious. Well, sorry, this is the silly episode. Kiana, this was supposed to be silly. Okay, now please no joke, this is actually serious.

I've been with my boyfriend for three months now, so it's pretty new. So far everything is going well, except this tiny little detail. He has this teddy bear, let's name him Teddy. Teddy has always been a part of my boyfriend's life. Teddy was given to him when he was born, and at around the age of five or six, his parents tried taking Teddy away from him. He screamed and cried so loud without stopping, and they ended up giving up. So he kept Teddy with him his whole life.

He mentioned Teddy to me pretty early, about a week after us being together. He showed me pictures of him, and I found it cute at first. He had plenty of pictures of him in different situations, him with a mug, him laying in bed, him studying. I truly found it adorable since I thought it was just a joke, really, and didn't think that Teddy was such a big part of his life. The more we got to know each other, the more he started mentioning him. He'd often make jokes about him.

When he had to come back to his flat, he'd say, I have to come back. Teddy is waiting for me. And then later he'd text me, okay, I put Teddy to bed, so now I might go to sleep as well. I don't want to wake him up. Again, a little weird, but cute still. But he started talking about him constantly, always linking what we were doing to him. Oh, I wish Teddy was with us to see that. Teddy doesn't really like people, so I won't take him with me for this party, etc. He'd send me selfies with him at least twice a week. He also sometimes said weird stuff

like whenever we watched a sex scene in a movie, he'd say, that's what me and Teddy do when we're alone. Stop now. That's a hard pick. Because everything up to then I was like, oh, it sounds like me and my cat. Spencer, don't. I'd be like, oh, Cleo's at home.

Yeah, everything was kind of silly until... Cleo's alive. Teddy is... It's like Stewie and Rupert. All of it, yeah, all of it could be passed as silly until it was like, and I fuck him. Yeah. Jesus. I thought these were silly.

Or when I asked, when he lost his virginity, he answered, oh, I lost it with Teddy a few years ago. Whoa, whoa, whoa! They were jokes that made me uncomfortable. He always seemed to consider him as a baby slash his son slash his brother, so him being sexualized was extremely weird for me. I told him then that it was weird and he just laughed, but I don't think he took me seriously.

About a month ago, I told him I was okay with him bringing Teddy when he was staying around my flat. I could see it was making him sad to leave him and also was very curious to finally see him in person. I can't go to my boyfriend's flat there are rules that are strict he can't invite anyone. So that day I drove to his flat and he went with all his stuff and Teddy. When he got in the car he pulled him out from his bag and had him give me a kiss on the cheek. When we drove, he opened the window and put Teddy out of the car. A bit like a dog would. He said it was rare for Teddy to travel like that and he could feel that he was happy. Teddy smells a lot. My boyfriend hasn't washed him in 12

years. For the rest of the car drive, he hugged him and gave him kisses. He has a weird twitch where he just compulsively pats the back of Teddy It makes a weird sound because Teddy used to be able to play music when you pressed his belly He always rubs Teddy's clothes in between his fingers. You can guess that Teddy is in a pretty bad state He used to be red and now he's just gray when we're together in bed He always puts Teddy's mouth on my mouth and I always avoid it as I find it disgusting And I told him that I hate it but he doesn't listen. He always tries to have Teddy touch my

boobs or my arse. When we make love I often end up finding him in between us and every time I throw him away my boyfriend says, oh no he likes to watch in a joking way. He often mentions us having a threesome with Teddy, him, Teddy, being great at, this sentence is insane. Okay, he often mentions us having a threesome with Teddy, him, Teddy, being great at licking and them always doing kinky stuff together. Now I'm not an idiot, I know communication is important. I tried talking to him so many times,

sometimes in a joking way too so he doesn't feel attacked. Like once I asked who would he choose if he had to choose between me and Teddy, he said Teddy. But also so many times, in a serious way, I told him I didn't like when he was rubbing Teddy on my face and body. I told him I found his relationship with him way too intense and weird,

but every time he didn't take it seriously, made jokes, and never truly told me what he thought. I should mention that he is like that for any serious conversation All he does is make awkward jokes, and he never tells me how he feels He said I love you first because he was drunk. This is becoming hard to handle I have been away from him for two weeks and was kind of relieved I wouldn't see Teddy anymore, but all he did was send pictures and whenever I asked him What are you doing or what did you do today? His answer was playing with Teddy today. He told me I was perfect which was a surprise at first

He doesn't give a lot of compliments when he said that I said really and his reply was actually no Teddy is perfect. You come way after like I hate you Fuck you. What's happening? I just gave up and didn't reply. I have three questions What's happening? I just gave up and didn't reply. I have three questions one Am I overreacting am I the one not being tolerant enough? Am I some boring girlfriend who can't welcome some childishness in her couple to what should I do? Should I let him live his life with Teddy? Should I ask him to make a real choice? Should I ask him to just stop the sexual jokes like who am I to ask such things? I don't know is it my place to tell him to stop being so weird with his teddy bear

And three how do I get him to finally talk to me and take me seriously? Girl girl, right. Oh I mean, huh? Teddy was red and now he's gray. I don't feel good about that. Teddy was okay. Okay. Okay. Um, oh feel good about that. Teddy was ready, now he's ready. Okay, okay. Oh wow, this is a whole brand new thing. This is silly.

This is a fetish. This is guys, this is silly. For the fact that he's like, you're perfect. No, just kidding, Teddy, it's like. Okay, that one was kind of funny. What's going on here? That was funny. Okay, there are plenty of adults who have like

a childhood Teddy bear or things like that. This took such a pivot when it got very sexual. And it kept getting sexual. There are also people who like love dressing up and being teddy bears or whatever. But this is very different. No, this is very different. I've never heard this type of story before.

I think him involving it in the bedroom without asking her because then it's like kind of fucked up and it's very fucked up. It's not even kind of fucked up and it's very fucked up. It's not even kind of fucked up. It's like extremely fucked up. And the fact that he's not like listening to her, that's enough for me.

I'm like, there's a lot of reasons for it. You're allowed to break up with people for any reason, but that's like, hey, you should definitely break up. Dude, the moment that smelly ass teddy bear hit my lips, that boy would be punched in the fucking throat. I'd be like, get away from my body, get that ratty ass teddy bear off my beautiful body. Like, what are we discussing?

Why are we even having this conversation? Teddy was red and now he's gray. Teddy was red and now he's gray? And Matt, and as, hasn't been washed in 12 years. Yeah. 12! This is me with a Woody doll till I was like 24. Really?

You wanna talk about that? Anymore? No, I made that up. I'm just kidding. Oh, I would love- It don't seem like that. You were doing Toy Story 3. Yeah, well, one of my secret desires,

I would love like a real Woody doll. I think that'd be sick life-size No, no, no, just like a one-to-one recreation of it. But like as it is in the movie. Oh, that's cool And you shall have that. Yeah. Yeah, that's really awesome, man. Anyways back Big is this teddy bear? I don't know. I mean, I think it's decent size we know size then okay, but How big is this teddy bear? I don't know. That's a great question. You know what I mean? I think it's decent size. If it's life size then okay. But this is supposed to be his,

that's his teddy bear and he's trying to make it be a. Has he checked it for holes? Exactly what I was thinking. Oh God. Is this just a large flashlight? I'm sorry. Top comment, how on earth am I still single? That's great.

That's great. Someone said, seriously, what the fuck? I've been married for a couple years and as an average looking woman, I ran into my fair share of weird dudes while dating. But what? If I had told my girlfriends even a light version of this dude's behavior, they would be holding an intervention for me to get away from him ASAP Someone else said so I'm pretty sure I used to be friends with this dude on Facebook and ended up blocking him He had several profiles one for Teddy and would harass the hell out of women then blame it on Teddy

Whoa has a comic slash novel something he's working on about him and Teddy and he makes the girls who block him or get upset With him the villains they defeat if it's the same dude He's out of his fucking mind, and you need to run. Oh my god Are you serious? That's a fucking turn of events Wait, it's like some green goblin shit Research he's Willem Dafoe. No, this is like this is silly dude This is this is not like, this is silly, dude. This is, this is not silly. This is dark.

This guy is not crazy, he's silly. He's silly. This is the silliest story. This guy is very silly. He got too silly. He's getting silly with it. Please tell me there's an update. There's an update.

Yeah, just give it to us, Greg. Oh my God, don't give it to my god I don't know how to process any of this about the guy who said he knew him fortunately it wasn't him oh good that was some of it it's another wait there's another guy with a teddy bear like doing this so awesome thank you so much for your help though I was meant to see him today so I picked him up and we drove to my flat of course Teddy was there and when he came in the car my boyfriend had him give me kisses and stuff I said stop please in a cold way and he stopped

I said we needed to talk and he listened because I started crying I thought it would be hard for me to start talking but since I was so stressed with all your comments I just broke down and cried I told him how I needed him to stop with Teddy that he needed to stop being so close and dependent on him that Teddy Shouldn't come to my flat anymore. At first he was silent, but then he said he didn't understand why I was so uncomfortable with it, that he was purely joking, that he knew Teddy wasn't real and that it was hurting him

to see that I thought he had a problem. I was extremely disappointed by his reaction and just told him I needed a break. I drove him back to his flat and that's where I am now. And stay there. That's some gaslighting shit. Dude, you talked about having sex with your teddy. I was just kidding, bro.

Yeah, exactly. I don't know if he's kidding. He brings the teddy from his place. No, that's what I mean. I'm saying. Yeah. And he's like, hi. Dude, teddy was red.

And now he's gray. Yeah. No, there's no backtracking. And now he's gray. Yeah. No, there's no backtracking. You can't like, you know. Nope. Nope. There's pictures of Teddy. Show us.

It's just fully Freddy Fazbear. I don't know what to think. If it's Freddy Fazbear, it all makes sense. Oh. Cute. What? Okay, I'd fuck him. No!

Guys! Rupert? That, I'd fuck him. No, guys! Rupert? That's a brand new story. New guy unlocked. New, fully new guy unlocked. Fully new fear unlocked for me. As a female, that's a fucking fear unlocked right now. I'm gonna give it an eight or nine on the silly scale. I'm gonna give it a 10, because that was damn silly.

It had me giggling. Bro, my feetsies were being kicked. Any updates? No more updates. It sounds like she's backing away. She leaves him. It's done. In every other story I've ever heard, people who are adults who still have a teddy bear,

it's always kind of wholesome. It's like, oh yeah, you still have your teddy bear. Well, I mean... But they usually have it just in bed or like as kind of like a decoration in their house. That's what I mean. Like as a kid, like my mom had a teddy bear and I was like, I think even as a kid, I was like,

oh, it's weird that like an adult would have a teddy bear. But now being like realizing how old my mom was, like in her late 20s. Yeah. I don't know if you ever dated anyone in their late 20s. Like a lot of people have a lot of stuff to animals around. Yeah, for sure. Or like early 30s.

Like some people collect dolls. I would not think anything of someone being like, oh, yeah, I have my teddy bear that I sleep with or whatever. I'd be like, yeah. OK, well well that was, I'm gonna be thinking about that for a minute. Our next story, am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for asking my sister to replace my jelly beans after her son ate them?

Did your son eat my jelly beans? My God. So I, a 25 year old man, recently invited my family over for dinner at my new condo. I'm really proud of this place. It took years of saving, hard work and sacrifice to get here. It's small, but it's mine, and I wanted to celebrate with a nice family dinner.

I decided to make homemade spaghetti carbonara. I spent hours on it, crisp pancetta, freshly grated Parmesan whisked with eggs and pasta water for a perfect silky sauce. Carbonara is all about timing and texture. So I was in the kitchen paying close attention to every step. I added garlic bread, salad, and even made a cheesecake for dessert. It was a big effort and I wanted the evening to feel special. So hungry.

Now I keep a big jar of jelly beans on my coffee table as a treat. I love picking out a few here and there, and I always save the creamed soda ones for last. They're my favorite. The jar has lasted a long time and it's something I enjoy after a long day. Until little joists rolled in. My sister Laura, who's 35, brought her seven-year-old son

who's honestly a bit of a handful. He's not used to hearing no and thinks every space is his to do what he wants. My sister has never set limits with him and growing up, our parents spoiled her too. While I was busy in the kitchen, my nephew found the jelly bean jar. I didn't notice at first because I was trying to get the carbonara just right.

After dinner I went to grab a handful of jelly beans and realized that almost all the cream soda ones were gone. My nephew had picked them out leaving a mess of crumbs and broken bits. I pulled Laura aside and mentioned it asking if she'd noticed. She just shrugged and said oh he only likes the cream soda ones so he picked those out no big deal I tried to be polite, but I told her that those were my favorites and asked if she could replace them I'm picturing him having like the Patrick Bateman reaction where he's like he's like sweating and like Those were the those were my favorites to soda ones

I tried to be polite But I told her that those were my favorites and asked if she could replace them or at least get me some more of the cream soda flavor. She got annoyed and snapped, he's just a kid, you're seriously this worked up over some jelly beans? I told her it wasn't about the jelly beans, but that it would have been nice if she'd kept an eye on him or taught him to ask. Laurel rolled her eyes and said, then don't leave temptations out if you don't want kids

touching them. I asked her one more time to either replace the jar or just the cream soda ones, but she refused, calling me petty and saying I was blowing things out of proportion. My parents jumped in to back her up, telling me to drop it and that I should know better than to have temptations out around kids. But it's not just about the money. It's about respect and boundaries. I put a lot into that dinner, and her response was to let her son treat my

place like his personal candy store. Now my family thinks I'm overreacting, but to me this is about respecting boundaries. It's about respect. Am I the asshole for asking my sister to replace the cream soda jelly beans her son ate? Oh. I'm sorry. There's no way he asked her normally. Like I'd be like, like he's like. Today's Reddit Stories is brought to you by Factor. This holiday season No way he asked her normally. Like, I'd be like, like he's like. 60 additional convenience options you can add to your box like keto cookies, pressed juices, and smoothies. If you want something really good, you can choose their Gourmet Plus options that have premium proteins and seasonal sides

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to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it.

Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices. Er, nope, you're on your own there. Coulda skipped it? Shoulda skipped it.

Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on Skip. Now, Margaret. Now, Margaret, you'll see there's a absence of cream soda flavor jelly beans in there. This is tricky. It's clear that this kid has maybe disrespected him a lot of times, and now he's like, all right, that's enough. This is my place.

This is my own stuff. That's my jelly bean thing. I guess, okay. There's a jar of jelly beans. I'm going of jelly beans out there. I'm going for jelly beans. I have nieces and nephews and I'm like, if I leave a jar of jelly beans on a coffee table,

I'm surprised if they don't eat them. I'd be kind of like, hey man, I left those jelly beans out. Yeah. Also, if she didn't want them to eat the jelly beans, she could just take it up and be like, all right, you're going to go crazy here. But she clearly didn't give an F if he ate the jelly But I because they're kids I can't help but judge this guy a little bit by how he's writing He it goes he goes into the carbonara, which is completely irrelevant. I mean it's sound he's I know but oh, I'm hungry

He's talking himself up. Yeah, and it's like he's talking to me. He's just like it's if I worked really hard on this condo And I have it I'm Like none of this matters you literally could just be like hey My family visited and my nephew ate a bunch of my jelly beans and I asked to replace it and there's something Yeah, there's something valid about like, you know, like oh like and they went into like if you have like a roommate It's like oh and they went and ate all my blah blah blah and that there's like a, but it's the, again, it's what you said. It's the way in which he's delivered the story. It's the context that's earned it.

The way he's delivered it. The relationship is also an element. You know, a roommate taking your jelly beans is one thing. We know about roommates and beans, okay? And that's a different thing. But this is specifically, if a seven-year-old is coming over to my place, now there's a lot of elements,

because I think he's not talking about the kid being the problem. He's saying he's mad at his sister for just being like, whatever. And his parents. I don't care, yeah, and that's. There's obviously history there. But this was a wrong example.

This was the wrong fight to fight. Like, dude, you got, like, I'm sorry, you put the jelly beans out. Like, dude, you got like... I'm sorry, you put the jelly beans out. Like, you gotta let this one go. I agree with you, Spencer, where I'm like, how did you... Yeah, I know. No, no, no, it was the same thing.

I love you. I hate him. I love you, dude. Spencer, what do you think? I literally hate this guy. No, but I agree, like, how did he ask this with a straight face? Like, can you replace the cream soda jelly bean?

It sounds like he definitely did. He sounds like that type of guy. Oh, he did, it sounds like he did, yeah. How did he ask this with a straight face? Like, can you replace the cream soda jelly bean? It sounds like he definitely did. He sounds like that type of guy. Oh, he did. It sounds like he did, yeah. And I'm just like, I don't know. There's a lot of things that a seven-year-old could get into where it's like, hey, that was a problem.

But you left candy on a coffee table and you're mad that the kid ate the candy. I'm like, that's kind of like. Yeah, it's like, well, do you want your sister to go to a candy store, go to the cream, like the cream soda thing, scoop it out, put it in the bag, or do you want like a variety pack to pick them out of it?

Like, so I'm assuming he got a variety pack and dumped it in. Unless he went, he curated it, he went and he scooped them all and mixed them up. I think it's her pride. I think she was like, how fucking dare you, dude?, like I'm busy that that's why it was the wrong fight Like yeah, take all them know you and parents and like the mom like not not like giving kids boundaries That's really annoying to be around or annoying. I understand that I've seen that yeah, it pisses me off, but I'm like

That kid hasn't been given boundaries, but that's how that kid operates. What are the odds that the full-grown man and the seven-year-old both share an intense love of cream soda? There's also the element that's really funny that they both operate the same way, and he's like, oh man, you took my favorites. Maybe he was like that when he was seven.

You should get like the BirdieBots ones and be like, oh, just kidding, that's shit flavored bean. What are those? You never had, it's like the, that's the Harry Potter beans. Oh, the Harry Potter ones, like throw up and like, yeah. Cogars. See, my, the way, but I don't have,

my nieces and nephew aren't like off the rails, right? I mean, they're gonna grab candy if there's candy. He's saying they're watching it. I would do the same thing. I'm the same exact way. When I visit my parents, they have a jar of M&M I'm going for it, and I can literally not help but just go over and grab it all the time like that's Been in that jar. I don't don't care somebody was probably

I don't give a fuck whoa You know your your dad was probably watching TV and was like ha ha ha, yum. My dad doesn't eat those M&Ms. Who does? Everyone else. Okay then. You think my father would eat those? You think my father eats the M&Ms? Ah, Jesus.

What a silly story. This is silly. Okay, this is funny. I can fuck some cream soda. What? I can fuck some cream soda teddy bears. I kind of agree cream soda Teddy bears I kind of agree with this first comment given the limits of this subreddit. You're the asshole, but really Really, you're you're just being petty. They're jelly beans. They aren't expensive and they make more every day And that's the great thing good news is on did you know that they keep eating them? They keep making

Did you know that they keep them they keep making Buy some cream soda jelly beans and hide the jar whenever nephew comes over which probably won't be often considering you're making a big deal About jelly beans. Oh, congratulations on the condo though Here comes nephew On your condo and your great carbonara, dude Yeah, someone else said you wrote I keep a big jar of jelly beans on my coffee table as a treat Well, that is exactly what happened Discovered them and helped himself to a treat of the flavor. He liked I get your point But you're being very precious about jelly beans. I tend to agree with you regarding your nephew's behavior

But again, he didn't break or damage anything. He merely ate something which you left out as a treat. Your response is OTT to the point of you're the asshole. Over the top. Over the top. Over the top. Lastly, someone said, unless you made the pasta yourself, I can't see how you spent hours on carbonara. Oh my God. People are just roasting him. This guy just seems like, there are people out there,

and I always feel, I almost feel like a lot of people have an aunt or an uncle like this where it's like they're just Super controlling of their space. Yep, and when you visit it's like it's like a museum. Yeah, it's truly like don't touch Are we like be no never mind fuck you and I just Fuck you and I get that I get that but it's also like Seven-year-olds haven't learned that there are people like that where they need to really especially a family member But yeah, I agree with that take of like this is ultimately just petty and yeah, and this is extremely silly I I love the given the limits of this subreddit. That's a brilliant way even the limits of this here subreddit I'll give them the limousine. I'll declare you are the asshole, but ultimately it's just petty

We do need to do it like a southern themed. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, and I love it Update this one. Yeah, but update He's dead update update. He choked on a jelly bean cream soda. Okay I'll accept my verdict since apparently it is normal these days to allow a child to root through a jar of jelly beans like a hog truffle like a hog looking for truffle like a common bovine or a porcine creature

this okay this guy is he's a cartoon character this guy is silly as hell you're killing me I'm sorry man you're trying to say that this is crazy like apparently it's normal these days to allow a child to root through a jar of jelly Beans like kid. Oh, yeah, that is kind of normal to me like as you say rooting around like I'm like Oh like like I'm like, what's the worst thing someone could say? Okay, I want to be clear this update is long this is a this guy is updating his post about how his nephew ate his jelly beans.

And he's actually angry, and he's actually serious here. I'm not even, I only care about the writer. I live for this shit. This is the ideal Reddit story. This is so good. Okay, just this first sentence. I love you, man. I'll accept my verdict since apparently

it is normal these days to allow a child to root through a jar of jelly beans like a hog looking for trouble. Did or did the child not? What I won't accept, what I won't tolerate is the insults about my competency as a home chef. Dude! This is so good! Give me a fucking break. This is so good. This guy is so silly Let me let me walk you through it. So you understand while real carbonara takes time and why cutting corners would be a disgrace

Okay, I gotta read this normally because this is too insane first. I went to this authentic Italian He's really his update is about the car. It's just about the pasta. I respect dude He shouldn't have made it because he clearly is building resentment as we speak first I went to this authentic Italian market with shelves stacked high with imported goods where the scent of cured meats fills the air They carry real pancetta flown in weekly and I spent ages with the owner Domenico who hand-picked the perfect wedge of parmigiano Reggiano for me, a rich, nutty block that was almost too beautiful to grate. Next, I stopped at this tiny family-owned shop

that specializes in fresh farm eggs and produce. Carla, the owner, gets these eggs from a nearby farm, and each one is an intense, deep golden color, perfect for a creamy, rich sauce. This is literally Patrick Bateman talking about anything finally I swung by a solemn Maria for some semolina flour it sounds dramatic but that's the lengths I go for traditional pasta where's he get his jelly beans from I have a guy the place feels like a rustic old world bakery with walls lined with wooden shelves and burlap

sacks stacked high. Their semolina flour has a texture and richness that just doesn't compare. Ideal for handmade pasta that holds up with the perfect al dente bite. So he did make the pasta. He did make the pasta from scratch. Back home, I crafted the pasta from scratch. Flour piled on the counter, eggs nestled into a well, kneading it with care until the dough was soft and elastic,

a process that took a solid 15 minutes of arm work. Then I let the dough rest before rolling it into long ribbons, each one dusted lightly with flour like fresh snow. Finally, I crisped the pancetta, grated the cheese by hand, and whisked the eggs to perfect consistency. The sauce had to be watched like a hawk, just enough heat to turn it creamy without scrambling, with careful additions of pasta water to reach that glossy, silky texture. So yes, it took hours, and I'm not ashamed to say that. Okay, he honestly, he convinced me.

I'm hungry. This dude convinced me, not the asshole. I wanna go over to this dude's house. I'm gonna go over to his house, I will have his carbonara, I'm gonna eat his job. I'm gonna fuck your couch. You're like, thanks so much. I'm sorry, dude, I'm gonna go over to his house. I will have his carbonara. I'm gonna eat his job Sorry, dude, I'm gonna fuck your teddy bear That's not an update we should fully do a register like, Shane just reads this recipe and we're like.

Literally, I'm so hungry right now, Shane. Me too. I gotta be honest, look, as annoying as I think this guy is, I kinda wanna go over for carbonara. I wanna go meet Domenico and Carla and I wanna go in that burlap sack. I wanna see the walls lined with burlap sacks. Handmade pasta is not easy to make and to get it, it's rare.

Do you ever see the Jackie Chan movie where he makes the homemade pasta? You know that I have, because I've seen all Jackie Chan movies. Yeah, Mr. Nice Guy. Did you know that? You've seen every Jackie Chan movie? Who Am I?

One of my favorites. Who Am I is great. Wow. It's a little weird tidbit about me. He sings the theme song at the end, it's great. Legend of Drunken Master. Yeah. As long as older.

It's been a long time since I've seen Jackie She's seen all his old ones to me and my little sister would watch them all Wow Who am I was definitely my favorite? This next story's insane. That's it. It's just the carbonara is just that's it It's just he's telling us the process of his carbonara and I got to be honest. It sounds incredible I'm not questioning this. I do want to compare like our favorite pasta places, okay? Not you I got to be honest not you not just us fine. He does sound like a great chef Yeah, I think you have to be like that's why like chefs are assholes

You have to be like it sounds like the bear it sounds like truly The bees you like would you do eat that you ate the beans? The beans we got 15 orders coming in and you're eating the fucking beans? He's just like, and the nephew's just like, cousin, what's the fucking problem? Cousin. Cousin, come on. Cousin. I like the cream soda one.

Cousin. A gun goes off somehow and they're like, what the fuck? Our next story. My partner, a 28 year old man, whispered, I hate you. When he thought I, a 37-year-old man, was asleep. Do you think he means it? So, Kiana.

This is awesome. Kiana told me this, she read me the title of the story and I was like, that's all I need to hear. This is the funniest story I've ever heard in my life. I hate you. Can you imagine doing that? This is so, I feel like a sister would do this. This is sister behavior. I hate you. And you're feel like a sister would do this.

This is sister behavior. I hate you. And you're just like this. You're like... You're like this. And the tear drops out of your closed eye. Yeah, literally. And then they leave and they're like, God.

I hate you. This is all right. Okay. This is awesome. Me, 37-year-old man, and my partner, 28- partner 28 year old man have been together for seven years We've had arguments in the past and almost broke up more than once The arguments have calmed down and gotten less frequent over the years. We had an argument today while making dinner I put the dry pasta in the pot before putting it in the boiling water from the kettle and this really got him angry

I was supposed to heat up the water in the pot and then put the pasta in He stopped talking to me the rest of the evening. He went into a different room and I went to bed. At about 2 a.m., he came into the room and he thought I was sleeping and whispered, I hate you, and walked back out. I tried to go talk to him at around 2 30 a.m., but he is not responding to me, just sitting on his iPad.

He may be calmed down by tomorrow. What are your thoughts on this? This is so And then trying to get someone's attention while they're on the iPad just like hey Shane, what's up Shane hey, did did you whisper? I hate you me Also, I'm sorry about the pasta that was dumb of me though All right, I'm going back to bed make some spaghetti carbonara. I'm in my undies. I'm gonna go fuck the teddy bear God, I'm so silly. I've never had an argument where my partner

Like stops talking to me in this like if you're in a shared space It's like oh it might not be like a text back for a little bit It's like no like, you know, in a shared space, it's like, oh, it might not be like a text back for a little bit, it's like, no, like, you know, I wanted to like kind of collect myself, but like, if you're in a shared space, but again, that doesn't look wrong. I've definitely cold shouldered in a shared space and it sucks and I really hate when I do it.

And my husband's been like, you really, you can't do that anymore. And I'm like, no, you're right, no, you're right. It's wrong, but sometimes like, I really don't wanna talk to you. So now I go on walks. Because that's better. That feels way healthier, yeah.

Because if there's two people in a room and you're not talking, it sucks. Oh yeah. It's like, yeah. And I can't, so I don't, I've gotten a lot healthier. But I've never whispered, I hate you, to someone sleeping. That would be kind of funny though.

That would be so funny. It is really funny Just him standing in the doorway just I hate you It's the fact that he came into the room whispered it and then left It wasn't gonna be good enough for him to just say it in another room. So write it down. I have a confession I actually did this to you while you were napping earlier today. You did? Yeah, I Knew I felt like I hate yeah, like peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, I woke up and I woke up and I took a bite of my hair. Yeah That's why I felt sick when I woke up. Yeah

Well, actually I might do that cuz it's really funny that is actually very funny I hate but the idea of them actually hearing it with like fill me with like Dread. Oh, yeah This does not sound healthy No Not speaking to someone because of the pasta things I get being upset but like the whole night dude the comments I'm pretty sure he means he hates you Yeah, it's like

Someone said he definitely means it time to exit stage left lastly someone said yes, he absolutely means it That's fucking creepy and scary time to take your incorrectly cooked pasta and leave. That's fucking creepy and silly Extremely silly dude wait yikes seven years Pasta and leave that's fucking creepy and silly. That's extremely silly, dude. Wait Yikes seven years Which makes me think how often has he been dealing with this behavior? This is probably the least bad of it because it sounds like their fights have like died down He discovered reddit like he'll be better. He'll be better tomorrow. He's posting Yeah, it'll be better tomorrow and it's like dude. Why the yeah, there's there's a dating gap there

Dating the 20 year old when you're 29 is it's interesting It's also like yeah this this 20 they were 20 when they started dating him and they've been dating for seven years So this this the younger person the 28 year old has probably not like you had opportunities to date other people They said I hate you the 28 year old 28 year old whispered that to but did they say I love you I don't know maybe not it just doesn't sound healthy it sounds like it's time I think I think getting so mad about the pasta not speaking all night and then completely ignoring you is like really that sucks no an argument starting over it's like oh like honey you will I, I messed, I didn't start the pasta right over.

It's not about the pasta. Yeah, yeah, it's exactly. It's not about the pasta, it's about hate, pure hate. This is pure hatred. What did the pasta taste like? No sugar? I bet they didn't eat it. Carbonara?

I bet they didn't eat it. I love how pasta has come up twice now. Are these silly stories or pasta stories? It's a thing. I can't think of a sillier thing. Pasta's supposed to bring people together, but it sounds like it's just pulling people apart. Spaghetti is the silliest food. It's a things. I can't think of a silly pasta supposed to bring people together But it sounds like it's just putting people apart. He is the silliest food. It's my favorite food. Did you know that? We get any balls, and I'm super silly what's yours?

lasagna Flat and lazy Damn Come on, it was just fun. It was just fun. Come on. Is it lasagna? Because you're fat, flat, lazy. I said flat!

I said flat! No, mine's actually bow tie because I'm... No, it's angel hair. Your bow tie because you're a gentleman? There's no update on that one? No, they both died. That was recent. So he's still in his bed just like, I hate you. Yeah, I want to know more about the delivery of I hate you. Same. Yeah. Um, okay.

Last story. Am I the asshole for not believing my boyfriend that suddenly became gay due to the altitude difference when he was on a work trip in Utah? A confession. You're gay? This happened to Alex when we went to Gen Con. No. I already made that joke because I think I was sitting in front of them in the bullpen when they found this story and it was an infectious. I think I did I find the story and send it to you guys I Think you might I I think I thought so I discovered this story and by the title alone

I was like, this is the funniest shit ever. We got to read this. This is fucking awesome altitude Yes, that the altitude made him he suddenly became gay because of the altitude in Utah in Utah It's a work trip to Utah. No, I get it. Altitude changes everything. Yeah. Water boils at a different temperature. Does it? This is like me when it's a full moon. Yeah. I become gay. You turn gay?

I am become gay. I can hardly believe that I'm writing this or that it happened, but I am and it did. So here we go. I, a 28-year-old woman, have been with my boyfriend, a 29-year-old man, for three years. Every now and then, he has to go to Utah for a few days because his team has a customer service branch that operates out there. I got a text from one of his co-workers, who has become a friend of ours, and it said that on the trip, my boyfriend cheated on me with some guy on the customer care team.

I did not believe it at first, because, first of all, my boyfriend has always identified as straight. And second of all, I just couldn't believe it. When he got home, I asked him about it, basically expecting him to confirm it was nonsense. Instead, he got real quiet and had a sit-down and said he had to tell me something. He said it was true. He did have a one-night stand with a guy, I couldn't believe it. I asked him if he was telling me he was gay or bisexual,

and regardless, cheating is cheating. He insisted he was not gay at all, but the strangest thing happened. He said that when he was at dinner with his Utah coworkers, he suddenly became gay. I was like, what, what the fuck? He said he thinks it was due to the altitude. I was like, you're fucking with me, right?

But he said after he had done it with this guy, he got really confused as to how all of a sudden he was gay. He said that higher altitudes can have an impact on how people think and on their emotions. And he thinks that the high altitude made him gay temporarily. He said that as soon as he landed back home, he was back to being straight.

I was like, did he get drugged or something? But he said that was not possible. They were always in a group at dinner, which is when he became gay and was only alone with the guy afterwards. He said he had done a lot of thinking on the drive back from the airport and he confirmed within himself that he is gay.

It's a 10 minute drive. Yep, I'm straight. And that his only conclusion could be that he was temporarily turned gay due to the altitude. I was like, whatever, I guess we are breaking up. He looked at me confused. I was like, gay or not, you did cheat on me. He said it wasn't his fault and that human actions

are just a byproduct of accidental brain chemistry and that his chemistry had been altered through no fault of his own due to the higher altitudes of Utah. He said he couldn't believe I would blame him for something medical and scientific that was out of his control. He really looked bewildered that I was angry about this. I don't know maybe he's convincing and I'm a rube which is a country term, a country bumpkin is what a... A rube. But I am starting to wonder if I am overreacting. Like I know it sounds insane, but is it possible

to accidentally change your sexual orientation due to emotional changes brought on by altitude? Is that possible? And if it is, am I overreacting? Should I throw away a three year relationship for this? He's acting like I'm being rude and weird. I'm confused. That sounds legit.

Like, of course this happened to him. Have you never been on an airplane? Have you never been up? When you're on an airplane? Well, everyone's gay on an airplane. Yeah. Yes, and also, how dare she? Chemical makeup and also it's like-

You just do things. You just do things. When you're at dinner when you're at dinner and you look at him and you just go yeah you and me yeah guys maybe it was the fries that they were eating no literally it's altitude changes food like it I believe I believe him everyone at a certain altitude is gay we don't know we're at sea level I'm straight here yeah We don't know. We're at sea level, I'm straight here. Yeah. We don't know, but you know, it sounds plausible.

Yeah, no, once you get up to the top. Rocky Mountain High. Yeah. John Denver. Even helicopters for me, like I become gay. And they're not going that high. Fucking Christ. I jump, I jump extra high, like if I'm dunking.

You've never dunked in your life. Never I'm dunking like that. When have you ever dunked in your life ever I'm dunking Well, I had to stop because it became gay I Just think I hurt my neck I knew it because Cuz cuz okay. Sorry. Sorry. We're sorry But I believe we're sorry. Sorry, but I believe. We're being silly, but come on. I think everyone's really wrapped up

on the aspect of the altitude turning him gay. She's right, he cheated, it doesn't matter. And he's trying to play it all also as if he should be able to get away with that. But so is gaslighting her at the same time. Yeah, no. It's like, how dare you? Like two people when they come together and it's like, okay

Yeah, I kind of get that you see he's trying to say the altitude made him cheat too Cuz he's like all the brain chemistry. It's all a byproduct or whatever It's like so wait a second has he been flirting with this guy cuz they work together All of a sudden at dinner, you know, they were at a lower altitude. Oh, you're so right No, this is this is just clearly No, dude, this guy's cheated on her so many times He's like he was sitting in the car like how do I come up with he's like excuse the altitude but no there's I would be

Dying to know if there's any been any other instance of someone claiming a gay incident because of altitude. I don't think you become gay because you're high up on altitude. I think he probably just liked the guy and was into it. I mean, do I? I should hope so. He was on a work trip and cheated on her. A thing so many people seem to do.

Yeah, guy or girl, whatever, he still cheated. And he's trying to play it off. He's coming up with an insane excuse There's an update the verdict is not the asshole Point of view is for a second like what the guys not the asshole Comments been to Utah a ton haven't felt the slightest change in sexuality You realize that he's feeding you a crock of shit, right? Okay, just wanted to be sure everyone was on the same page. Now to deal with the aliens and their brainwaves beamed into my eyeballs. Someone else said, even if it were possible and it's not, he's telling you that he can't

help but cheat on you because human actions are just a byproduct of accidental brain chemistry. Even if he's not into dudes anymore, there's plenty of girls he can cheat with because by his own admission He can't control himself when he's attracted to someone not the asshole Lastly someone said by that logic anyone flying in a plane becomes gay for the duration of the flight and you became gay though So I guess you're the one example. Yeah Okay, we have a sort of update. It's in the comments. Oh OP posted a big update in the comments Someone commented temporary altitude gayness happens all the time tag OP responded. I don't know. I have read a lot of comments almost all of them and it turns out there is in general a consensus

That it is not true. I knew it the entire time in my head. I just let my heart give me doubts. I know I sound absurd in my post questioning if it was really possible. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to accept it. Now I do. I met my boyfriend just this afternoon. He acted like nothing was abnormal. I told him it was over.

He acted like I thought he was joking. I said, come on, he cheated on me. He said he couldn't believe I was blaming him for it. It was the altitude, he kept saying it. Like seriously, he said it like 15 times in a row. He was insistent. I told him it didn't matter if the altitude made him gay. He still had a choice to not cheat on me.

He accused me of being a bigot. I said, it's over. Oh, whoa. That's a good pivot. Smart move there, man. he has texted me many times claiming that he was only temporarily and unwillingly gay due to the altitude. He is sticking to this story and to the end.

Well, I'm going to block him. And that's that I'm unwillingly gay. Is anyone else getting frustrated with the fact that he keeps bringing up the gay part and that's not what she's talking about. He's talking about that you cheated. He's like, you're a bigot. She's like, no, you cheated on me.

You cheated on me. He's like, I can't help it, the altitude made me gay. It's like, I don't care about that. He's trying to absolve himself of guilt and keep the focus on the whole gay aspect of it as opposed to the cheating aspect. I think both are like, but I think like, he clearly like has something.

I mean, yeah. And it's just like, and that's out of our pay grade. I think he's trying to, I think. he clearly like has something I mean, yeah, it's just like and that's out of our pay grade I think that's right. I think it's bound the scope of the subreddit. That's right I don't think he's focused on the cheating part because I think he's trying to convince himself Yeah, yeah, I think he's clearly saying it out loud to convince himself of a thing. That's what he cares about She doesn't give a shit. She's like I'm mad you cheated on me But even then he keeps bringing it back to well, I'm not gay. She's like, okay, I didn't say you that's okay Wow That was silly. Whoa, so silly silly ones Looks like everyone's gonna be going to Utah. Know what I'm saying go to Utah and we're all gonna become straight. Whoa! Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.

Like, I'm Angela. Sorry. That's fucking crazy. Oh my God. I'm gonna go to Utah and we're all gonna become straight. I'm gonna go to Utah and we're all gonna become straight. I'm gonna go to Utah and we're all gonna become straight. Oh Fucking crazy

My god, um, yeah, it's true. Well, I don't think I've been rude to the crew the whole time I haven't been looking at them, but it's just just no like they feel bad No, they hope we made you laugh a little don't care. They don't um, I heard someone laugh behind me This has been extremely silly This has been ready. Oh silly. I don't know. What was silliest from whispering I hate you in the middle of the night was really funny the jelly beans to teddy bears that people fuck So that wasn't silly that was frightening. I let me be clear all these stories were silly, but they were all also very serious So the last time I was on right at stories I think I tried to do the bit where you like combine all the stories These stories were silly, but they were all also very serious. Very serious shit.

So the last time I was on Reddit Stories, I think, I tried to do the bit where you combine all the stories. And Angela was like, oh, you're doing that. And I was like, well, I think it's funny. But I'm like, I feel like if you were to combine these stories, you would have the most awesome story of all time. Yeah. That might actually be true.

That'd be a horror anthology. Yeah, yeah. I would like to like, this is part of an extended universe. This crazy place we call Earth. Yeah. No, I agree. I think the Teddy guy would, his first thing would be the Utah thing,

and then he would get into a relationship, and he'd have the partner that says, I hate you. Yeah. And then he would break up with that partner, and his new partner would be the jelly bean guy. Imagine him in the middle of the night hearing Teddy go Yeah, that is my nightmare. This is why I don't have dolls because they come alive at night Do you and Shane have like a shared fear of dolls? I hate yeah him and I both hate dolls

Oh interesting. I don't like them at all. So that's really really hate that one. Resin you apart. Oh Yeah, there's a doll part. Okay. Sorry. Wait, I know I saw No, it's a doll part. Okay. Sorry. Wait, I know. I saw. No, it's a different one. Oh, okay. Anyways, yeah, so don't get us dolls if you're thinking about it, Spencer. Okay. This was silly, question mark. Thank you guys for both being here and joining me for this journey.

And thank you for watching. There was a lot to process here. I'll gather my thoughts on them over the next two years. Comment down below what other themes and subreddits you want to see because silly was a crazy one. Silly. So I can only imagine what other kinds we're going to have.

And we will see you next week. Bye!