So... Alright - The Second Interview

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

Geoff sits down with a very special guest to discuss motivation, drive, figuring shit out on your own, and following your passions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey, transforming into Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, nearest green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at TNVacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. So usually I sit here and I ramble about,

So usually I sit here and I ramble about, I don't know, something I I some headline I read on Reddit and didn't even bother reading the story or some dumb memory or stupid basketball hot takes or whatever. But every once in a while, there's a point to the show. And that would be today. A while back, I did I dusted off my old journalist boots. That's weird. I never thought about it, but I really did wear boots as a journalist goes in the army anyway, dust off my old journalist boots.

I interviewed a guy who I met at a convention because he walked from California to New York. His name was Giovanni and he did something I'd always wanted to do. He walked across the entirety of the country. I was so fascinated by him. I had to do an interview with him. And then thinking back on it, I had so much fun doing that interview. I decided I wanted to do some more.

I have created a little list of people I'd like to talk to who I find to be super interesting. And none tops that list more than today's guest. The incredibly talented, beautiful, smart, clever businesswoman, my wife, Emily Hatfield. Hello, Emily. Hi, I'm out of breath from walking around the block. I could not have walked across the across the United States. And yes, I'm a busy businesswoman.

And today I'm going to I'm going to talk to you not about what you do for a living, which is you own a hair salon. I do. You're not just my wife, you're also my stylist. I am responsible for my for these gorgeous locks. I kept you looking good through the pandemic. I really, really appreciate. Dude, that is, by the way, fucking pro tip. Marry and live with a stylist. So when there's a global pandemic, your hair doesn't skip a beat.

I was so I was so unfairly lucky. But the reason I wanted to talk to you today, Emily, is not about that. It's not about the fact that you're my wife and my best friend and my co doggy parent. And and my favorite person to spend time with and to talk to. I want to talk to you today about something that you and two of your friends are doing and have been doing for a little while now. You started a podcast and I realize we're talking about you starting a podcast on this podcast.

I don't think podcasts are intrinsically interesting. OK, what I think is interesting is and I have worked in this industry podcast on this podcast. I don't think podcasts are intrinsically interesting. Okay. What I think is interesting is, and I have worked in this industry for like 21 years. I've seen a lot of productions spin up and spin down, and I've been fortunate enough to be a part of a lot, but also watch many more happen and succeed and fail, yada, yada, yada.

What I think is the most interesting about you and what you and your friends are doing is you aren't entertainers. I mean, I think you're very entertaining. I think you're not professionals in any way. Yeah, I think you are in many ways a comedian. What you do when you cut hair is basically a stand up routine.

I watch you work on it with me, not like with me, but you like you try it out on me. We you do it. You you plan routines and bits just like any comedian does when we come back from a vacation You've got your like five funny things and you have this whole spiel that you do and it's it's essentially a standard protein And it's it's hilarious and darling and I've always thought that in another world if you had I don't know had different Inclations growing up or been pointed in different directions, you might've turned out to be a comedy writer because I think you have a really good joke mind.

You really, you're naturally and intrinsically good at jokes, joke structure, and you're very quick witted. And I don't think you know, maybe not know that about yourself or give yourself enough credit for it. But I think that there is a world where at 22 you packed up your car and moved to L.A. and it was kind of the doors and became the next Bob Odenkirk. Oh, OK. You know, I'll take that.

Good thing I married you and so that I can be with you and do stuff with you. Of course, I'm happy to do anything with you like this interview. Yeah. But I just think it's fascinating that you and your friends started a podcast and not necessarily that you did it, but you're not podcasters. You're not entertainers. You've never wanted to be in this world. Yet the three of you who have no practical or real world experience decided. Actually, before I go any further, why don't we talk about the podcast?

What is the podcast? What is it called? What is it about? OK, the podcast is called is the podcast? What is it called? What is it about? Okay, the podcast is called Clutch My Pearls. It stems from, there's a saying down here in the South, when something you're hearing is so scandalous or salacious or whatever that, you know, sometimes other women will go, oh, well, clutch my pearls.

And so it's a podcast about smut. It's about dirty books. It's about, I don't read any of the books. I'm strictly nonfiction and like murder and stuff. And so when my friends would, I just noticed a lot of women were reading smut and there was a big rise in it that I felt like there was something there. And the podcast is that I don't read the books, but my two friends do.

And I don't want to read the books. I don't want to know anything about them necessarily. Like I don't want to sit and read that, but I want to know what happens in them. I want to know the funny stuff. Like, because what it started with Vanessa, who's in the show with me and we worked together and has been my best friend for 15 years now.

She would be like, oh my God, in my book, this is happening and this is happening. And I just, that's the amount that I wanted to hear about. And so whenever she would talk with other friends or I'd be like, oh, you're reading those snail trail books that Vanessa's reading, I would see them light up and start talking about it. And I just want to know the gist of it.

And so then when Barbara came in for a haircut and it was the three of us talking, we all sat like kind of looked at each other and like, this should be a podcast. This is what we should be doing. And that's where it started and what it is, is my two friends read Smut and they tell me about it. And then I react to it.

It's all blind reactions from me. I don't know, I don't even know the title of the book. I don't know anything about it. So it's all raw, honest reactions of me, like mostly ruining the books of them being like, no, that's not what he looks like or no, that's not it's not like that. I'm like, that's gross. That's weird. But also like, oh, I like that. But it's like or just, you know, well, it's very, you know, kicking our little feet

and like, you know, being excited. It's the I think of it as like, you know, the podcast I do, the main one I do is called the regulation podcast. And it's like a bunch of boys being 14 years old. Yeah. They're in a bedroom. Essentially, I feel like your podcast is a bunch of girls being 17 years old together in a bedroom. Yeah, we think of it as like it's the it's when you

find your older sister's dirty book and you take it to a sleepover. And we're all just like, oh my God. That must have been hard for you because your older sister was obsessed with American dollar books. What is it? American girl? American girl. My sister mathed up show.

She does just math TikTok now. Like that's how much she is a math influencer now, which is why. So yeah, there wasn't really any in Sarah's, but Barbara would have been the one to bring She does just math TikTok now. Like that's how precious she is. Yeah, your sister is a math influencer now, which is why. And so, yeah, there wasn't really any in Sarah's, but Barbara would have been the one to bring a Nora Roberts book, which is one of the books we covered was a Nora Roberts book that she found that was her stepmom's, that was just enough, you know,

like, oh my gosh, like he grabbed her thigh. And that one, we do different levels of smut to it. It's not all like super, you know, X rated. Sometimes, you know, there's books that were like it fades to black. And sometimes the books are more plot than porn. But then most of them are more porn than plot. Yeah, it's it's all over the map. I've how many of you done that?

You've done about 30. Yeah, so it's a weekly show. It comes out when every every Tuesday. If you're on a page, it comes out every Monday. And it is available where all podcasts are available. And on YouTube, we have a YouTube that is our we we started doing like front facing cameras because we needed to do social clips. And so that was a hurdle to get past of just even having. Ourselves on the internet. I think that Barbara has a large TikTok following.

And so she was saying that she got past her camera. TikTok will beat that out of you pretty quick. Like TikTok comments. And then I think that just by doing stuff with you and being associated with you, I kind of got over some of that. But like, I don't know how much, I'm sure there's a lot of crossover between this and the former fuck face

of where people think I shit in the backyard because you told me that I do that. For those, all right, let me put that one to bed right now. I used to make a joke because my wife, I never saw my wife go to the bathroom that she, I suspected we had a we had an English bulldog who took the biggest dump and I suspected that maybe she was sneaking a few back there and that I was unknowingly cleaning up my dog and my wife's poop. Those were only suppositions and accusations. I never actually saw you in the act do it. So I can't say for sure. I can't say you didn't. Right, of course.

But I'm gonna try to put it to bed by saying, I can't prove that you did. Oh. So hopefully that takes care of it. It just suddenly stopped after they died. But yeah, so that kind of stuff, like I was already a little bit abled. And I think that just, again,

living in a household with you and coming into this world of you having some level of fame that I didn't understand or whatever, that I'm able to kind of shut it off. And so we do say that our podcast is, it's just three friends sitting around talking because that's how it started, that's how it is. It is just us alone in the room.

And there was a recent episode that we were like, oh shit, we're recording right now. Like, cause we were just went off into our conversation. So yeah, it's about books, but it's not about books. Like I don't read the books. I don't know anything about the books. So you don't have to read the, you know, people that listen to regulation,

they might not play video games or they might not be into sports, but they follow along like it's it's that's our jumping off point. But it's definitely more of a comedy show. I think I think you were we were talking about this the other day. Oh, and you know, for prosperity's sake, let me say this is the second time we've done this interview. Oh, my God. We did it earlier this week. I wasn't great. I was off my game, But also the dog was in the room with us.

And I don't know why the fuck we thought that was a good idea. Because he was calm and then he started doing it. And then he hit the microphone a thousand times and kept jumping on my lap. He was insane. So we we we flushed that one down the toilet, and which is where the poop goes, not the backyard. We flushed that down the toilet and waited a couple of days. I don't remember anything I said exactly. That's why you want to do it, because you don't want to.

You don't want to come across as rehearsed. We waited a few days and we're trying again. And I feel like it's going much better. Yeah. But I also feel like why am I talking? Because I'm interviewing you. Because I'm interviewing you, see. You know, it's funny, you say that thing about putting yourself out there and exposing.

And it's. It's one of those things that I take for granted because I've been doing. Work in a public way on the Internet for about as long as the Internet has been a thing. You know, we I started my first public facing website where I was trying to reach an audience in 1997, I think, 96 or 97. And so you kind of take it for granted when you've been doing it for so long that that it's not a natural thing to to be vulnerable and expose and share yourself with the world. And I think it's a it's a pretty brave and admirable thing to do.

And the way you guys did it is also kind of like playing on hard mode, because it's an audio podcast and it only needs to be an audio podcast. I do an audio podcast because I've been on camera and I don't want to share that much of myself anymore. And I'm dialing it back. And so now I do audio podcasts more than video stuff. But you guys, you guys put videos up on YouTube and on TikTok and social media. And I just I applaud your bravery.

And that's kind of the whole the gist of this whole interview is I'm just impressed with you guys doing this because. I like I said, I've I've worked with a lot of people, I've launched a lot of productions, I've mentored and tried to help a lot of productions be launched, and I've done it long enough to know that. Getting it off the ground. Like getting it from idea to a product you can show an audience is a fucking hurdle and a half, it's like 30 hurdles.

Yeah, but then doing it a second and a third time and developing an audience and creating what I would call a hit, a hit because it it it creates enough revenue to keep it going right now. Like, thankfully, we thankfully we all have full time jobs. Of course, it's a passion project, right? But it makes a little bit of money to pay for, for, I guess, at least the equipment and the stuff that you're doing. Right. We enjoy it enough. It's.

Enough. I mean, we have a small but loyal audience, and it's fun that we have our inside jokes already we have we already have this lore and you know, I The thing that we joke about is you know, cuz Barbara is Eric's small wife Right in podcast who you is your producer and yeah part of the things very incestuous relationship We all have here, but y'all were very I mean y' mean, y'all are so busy on your way too, but y'all were like in a good way. You let us figure this out on our own.

We're also all types that are like, I can do it myself, but y'all provided such a great bit of mentorship, but also we did have to figure everything out on our own where other people, other companies, other productions, other things, you know, they have a whole company that they can go, okay, I'm setting this to editing, I'm setting this to like, I had to figure out what an RSS feed is. I've never heard those words before in my life. I didn't even know that I just, I listen, podcasts are like the number one bit of content that I consume, but I didn't know how I got them. I don't know what RSS feed is, but so we had to, I mean, even as making a Gmail account was like,

oh my God, we're like women in STEM. Like we're so cool. You know? So it was all new and it was all learning, but y'all, you know, we were fortunate to have that bit of mentorship from y'all just on things that are like you should you know upload it Tuesdays at 2 a.m.. Like that's ideal time where we go. Oh, okay, cool. We'll do that but um you know doing it doing it all on our own is a lot and with full-time jobs and Yeah, and that's how you find out if you really want to do it right honestly, and that's the thing It's like you know the first I don't know ugly internet drunk gamers for the first year. Red versus blue. Rooster Teeth. All those previous projects I did were all passion projects that started

at 7 p.m. and ran till 1 a.m. And then I went to bed so I could get up and go to work and do my full time job every day to support my ability to do my passion project. And that's how you find out, A, if you have passion. Right. Right. And B, if you have a good idea. And C, if you have the drive to continue doing it and to see where it goes. And that's those are all things that that when you look in the rear of your mirror, you take advantage.

You take for granted. I think when you've you've. Gone far enough down the road to be able to look back. But that shit is all hard. Like everything about this is hard. And part of why I keep saying I want to talk to you guys, because I'm inspired by you because you didn't take shortcuts. And I think you could have, you know, your husband is a famous podcaster.

Barbara's husband is a famous podcaster. Hell, Vanessa's husband is a famous artist who's got a huge social media presence. Right. Yeah. So there's a lot of nepotism at play and or that could be. And, you know, the one thing I I told you is that I'll help you as much or as little as you want, but I do think that you guys, if you really want this to succeed and you really want to find an audience, you need to understand how your podcast runs

and how the business runs from every angle, from the ground up and down. And that's the only way to truly be successful is to know, to understand what goes into it at every level. And so you guys took that challenge on, you gave yourselves that challenge and took it on. And it was just awesome to watch and inspiring to watch and kind of aspiring to watch, because while you guys were doing that, you're a little bit further

down the road than I am. But, you know. My company did, in fact, close down this year. And I did. I did. And I had to do exactly what you did last August or so. And you started clutch my pearls. I had to do it all over again. Now, I have the experience of 21 years of doing it, but I also did that shit 20 years ago and the world has changed a lot.

And I am a much older, less full of them and vigor and energy kind of guy than I was then. I don't have the exuberance of youth to push me across any finish line anymore. And so it was really informative to watch you guys go through it and succeed and to be reminded like this is possible because it felt pretty daunting. There were times over the last three months when I'm looking at what Gavin and Eric and Nick and Andrew and I have ahead of us and what I have behind me and all of the uncertainty. And I'm like, I don't think I can do this, you know,

or I don't know if I can do this. But then I look over there and it's like, oh no, Emily and Vanessa and Barbara are doing it and they're finding an audience and they're doing it the right way. And they're doing it week in, week out and not taking a break. You guys have never missed an episode, right?

You guys are a weekly podcast and you're making it work. And it was helpful to me because it helped seeing your journey through it has helped inform my journey in twenty twenty four, which I think is a really kind of a wonderful symbiotic thing, because I assume you watching my journey in our marriage and that through our relationship probably informed your journey in some way as well. Yeah, I mean, there were things of even just the being

disciplined and making sure that we do do it every week and that we did it all ourselves. And I mean, Barbara learned how to edit. Like Barbara just was like, I guess I'll learn Premiere and I'll learn Audacity. Like I'll just figure it out. And so she did. Like we would just have done every single part of it.

It is a hundred percent just the three of us. And no matter what your size of your business is, you still have to set up an LLC. Like those are the things that whenever y'all had to start doing it on your own, we're like, you guys need to get a lawyer. You need to get like you need to set this. Like we we had to do all this stuff and it's just the three of us. Y'all have international employees. Like you guys need to figure this out. So it was some of that, like a little bit of foreshadowing stuff.

But, you know, back some of the things where you were some of that, like a little bit of foreshadowing stuff, but back some of the things where you were saying that you've seen so many productions and all that stuff that that's where some of this came from was that I would somewhat try to pass it on to be like, hey, you should do, not you necessarily, but like, oh, you like these books, you should do something on them. There's something there, there's something there. you necessarily, but like, oh, you like these books, you should do something on them. There's something there, there's something there. And then just being like, you know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do that.

I think there's something there, let me just do it. It's very much a legally bond moment of like, what? Like it's hard, like we're doing this. Like you just, and it is, like you, anybody can put anything on the internet, you know? Like you can just do it. But it's tax and it's hard, but it's also really fun and really rewarding. And when people get your jokes and they are part of it and, you know,

they're squealing along with you, it's fun. Well, I think you guys have not only created a great product because it does feel like what I used to talk about. Achievement Hunter and Rooseteeth, I would call it like a friendship simulator. I always felt it was like there's three or four friends hanging out playing video games and you're there too, we just can't see you.

Yeah, for sure. And I feel that similar kind of vibe and that's not unique to what I did. It's like, that's what the appeal of shows like Bad Friends is or, you know, even like the dynamic on a show like Crime Junkie between Ashley Flowers and Brit, you know, you buy into the relationships between people, the chemistry between people, and you guys have such a great chemistry together. I remember back in the old days, back in the old days, you know, like a year ago, we'd all be hanging out and Eric would be like, stop talking.

You guys are doing a podcast right now. You go, what you're doing is a podcast. You guys need to record that. Yeah, that was when we were starting it, like kind of like thinking about it and we would just be doing it. Yeah, and it'd be like, this is funny. This, get microphones out, do it, yeah. You guys have a great dynamic, the three of you together.

It's very complimentary personalities that just work well together comedically, I think. I think also it helps that you guys are all really talented and uniquely so. Well, we're all, there's the thing that now more than ever people need and crave is authenticity. You can tell if the vibe is off or if it's just like, you can't just put three people

who have good personalities into a room and be like, okay, do a podcast, you know, because there's no authentic chemistry. And I think that the audiences or even myself as a consumer, we're craving that more than ever. We can sense it. We can, like it is, it's what, it's the conversations we have even when the microphones

aren't off, you know, or aren't on, you know, it's, there is something for everybody. Well, if you have read the book and it's a Barbara book that she's presented that week, you are her POV. If you are into those books and haven't read that book, you're Vanessa's POV. If you're not into those books, but you want to know the gossip and you want to know what happens or you want to like shit on it and be like, that guy sucks, you know, then you're my POV.

So there's something for everybody in it. Well, that's part of why I like it, because I, you know, I'm a big reader, but I don't I definitely don't read the same books they're reading. I don't read Harry Potter or sex fan fiction, and I don't read books about milking Minotaur's face or anything. Clippy or having sex with paper clips and pillows. But they come to life and animate goldfish and just all that. But I love the dynamic between y'all.

And so, you know, the I guess the premise got me in the door. But y'all or to see what it was about. But y'all are what keep me there. Yeah. No. And I also think that the thing that I like the most about what you do. And that I think is really difficult to do. And you and I have talked about a little bit in the past, and I don't think you think it's as hard as I do, but you guys do a really wonderful job

of universe building. Like there is a universe to the clutch. There's a Clutch My Pearl cinematic universe that exists with jokes and callbacks that go from episode one to episode 35. And so it's the thing that you love when you discover a new podcast or a new YouTube series or whatever,

and you hop on and you don't quite get some of the stuff that people are saying. Like it passes you by, but you know like, oh, that's a joke I'm gonna understand in like a month. And then when you do understand it, you catch up to the train, like the comedy train and you're on it. It's like the best fucking feeling in the world

because you're watching, it's like you're watching the birth of a universe every week as you go, and you get to be a part of it. And it is, I think as a creator, it's the most rewarding part of creation. It's so fun. It's so, it's so, it's another bit of where,

it's another friend. And we have a small enough following that, even with, we just launched merch, I'll even see the names on it. And I'm like, oh, you know, like with we just launched merch, like I'll even see the names on it. And I'm like, oh, you know, like, oh, she bought a mug or whatever. Or you are the building out the universe and the jokes is it's what you love about even your your friends, you know, and that we have just more friends to share the jokes with. And all it takes is your friend to mispronounce something one time.

And it's the funniest thing in the world. You know? Oh, yeah. I said mosquitoes in the podcast the other day and I'm never gonna hear the end of it. Yeah, Vanessa was trying to say demon and she said demoned. And so it was like when she said it, I just clocked it and spin my head around like,

what did you say? And then one of our other ones, it's a trope in these books called, that used to be reverse harems, where it's one woman and multiple men. Cause they're all just obsessed with her, they're all horned up for her, and they can't get enough. But that's kind of, I guess, problematic to say,

like referring to harems, whatever. So it's called a why choose. Like why do I, like so many wieners in terms of why choose. Why even choose? Like just take them all. You can handle them. Like Dick Buffay. Exactly. So I'm, yeah. Oh, maybe you should change of why choose. Like just take them all. You can handle it. Dick Buffet. Yeah, exactly. So yeah.

Oh, maybe you should change from why choose to Dick Buffet. You know, you know what? Book talk community, you guys can have that one. That's free. I relinquish control of people. This is why it's like even this is why I'm also the one clutching my pearls, because it's just like, oh, God. And so one of our listeners who I think she came to us because her husband is a listener to your podcast. And so we've had a lot of that. So a lot of guys that listen to your podcast,

they're like, my wife's always on her Kindle and being like, what kind of books are you reading? And then they tell them and they're like, oh, you would like this podcast and they can listen to it together. But she was like, I'm sorry, can you educate me? What are wide shoes? And I sent that to Vanessa and Barbara was like, what are wide shoes? Because I don't know what that is. And then Barbara was like, oh, and Vanessa said, oh, it's wide shoes. And Barbara was like, I thought you were saying wide shoes the whole time. And I just went with it. Like, sure. Because Barbara's not. That's another thing is that. She rolls the punches. Yeah, but she, like the different books that we cover,

there is a Vanessa book and there's a Barbara book. And there are the different things that everyone's into and we don't yuck, anybody's yum. And so that became a thing of why shoes are now why shoes. And so it's kind of like, if you know, you know. If you know, you know. Yeah. Like a ham and cheese on a. Oh my God. Why choose and so it's kind of like if you if you know, you know if you know, you know, yeah Like a ham and cheese

Ham and cheese on a bun with an orange drink, right? Uh I'm all about dumping on JLo for many for reasons But that was that made no sense that poor woman like I gotta get I gotta say I gotta I gotta defend JLo in that moment Yeah, that was stupid This message comes from TD getting mortgage advice should be fast and easy because when you want to buy a home, who has time to wait? TD Mortgage Direct makes it quick and easy to get the answers you need.

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Yeah, you know, HomeSense always has a lot of great towels. Let me see that. Quick dry. Will it dry quickly enough that I won't notice when you use my towel? Okay, that happened once. Maybe more than once. Anyways, these are only $13.

$13? Okay. Let's get you this navy one and for me, the soft beige one. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. Talking about pearl clutching moments. I think the thing that's that strikes me the most about this podcast is that you just because I know you personally, we live together. We see each other naked on occasion. Oh, my God.

You are well, and which brings up my point, you are such a prude. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean that with love and affability and kindness, it's not an insult, but it is like, I remember one time we were designing our old house. I had this, we had this library with the, if you listen to the Fuckface podcast with the shelves, right, and we had some,

we wanted to get some fancy wallpaper for like a part of the room, and there was this beautiful wallpaper with these ladies dancing with no tops on, but it's like drawn, very simple, stylistic, beautiful art. And Emily was like, I cannot have boobs on the wall. There's no way I could have boobs on the wall. I just like that's too that's too far for me. Right.

And that's when I realized I my sweet, my sweet, wonderful wife is like 85. In some ways, I was like, I just want like boobs on the wall. I don't want my mom to be like, oh my God, those are boobies. And so we did. I did not. I did not grow up in a household where we talked about sex. And it wasn't for religious reasons at all. It was just like we just don't talk about that stuff and like how we,

you know, if a sex scene comes on TV, like when you're watching as a family, similar to how it is now, like we're watching Sopranos and like it was, it got a little risque that Millie just like put her head in the pillow. Oh yeah. I thought I could run out of the room. Yeah. So it's like that, but you know, so it's nothing, it's nothing religious, but yeah, I, I hearing these things and in the podcast, what we do, we have our kind of formula to each episode

is like the intro. They read this. They tell me the title. They read the synopsis. We then they take. Well, sometimes I'll read the synopsis and you kind of guess. Or sometimes a synopsis gives away what the book is. Yeah. You know, like where. So that's when you know it's really good.

It which means it's probably a book that we've heard about that on book talk or whatever. Like the Concord by Clippy, which is this woman who bucks Clippy from Microsoft Word, where he's like, oh, you want some assistance with that? And she's like, no, Clippy. So we'll do that. And then we go into page numbers. And then from there, we guess the first coming. And usually it's when the woman or the protagonist, the protagonist.

Yeah. And has their first orgasm. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, and that kind of will tell you how the book is, too, where it's a 400 page book and it's not till, you know, 392. You're like, oh, or if it's like page 12, you're like, OK, we're in for something. Yeah. And then from there, they, you know, know, we kind of give the gist of the book. We don't we do spoilers, but not too many spoilers. I don't know. Like if it's a big spoiler, it's not a big deal. But, you know, surprise, they all bang and usually end up together in these books.

But from there, then they have me usually read the first coming or the most nasty part, which then gives me a lot of pearl clutching and stuttering over certain words. And after that, y'all go into like one star reviews. Yeah. And then wrap it up. I love to read one star reviews of anything, you know, not anything of me. I don't like those.

But things of where it's like if someone reads a one star review for a Chili's, you're like, yeah, well, it's it's a game we play sometimes where if we're if we're driving to dinner and we think about it, you'll you'll load up all the one star reviews of whatever restaurant we're going to. And then we'll read them on the way there. It's usually someone's personal problem. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But very rarely the restaurants fault that one star review.

With the books, it was a way, because some of these books can be, or the Book Talk community is so powerful and so huge, which is why I'm like trying to like crack into it. Like that's why we had to do our social clips because we're just trying to get, if you can get traction in the book talk community, huge. Like then we can be successful.

But it allows us to cover anything that needs to, where you can say like, oh, this author is problematic. You know, where it's like, we didn't say it because I don't we don't necessarily know. But it can cover certain things. And we we don't do too much with trigger warnings, but we do. If it's a major one or if it's like something, then we might give a little bit of one or be like, hey, there are trigger warnings in this book. You can look it up if you want. But but the point is, this is a naughty podcast.

It's silly. And it's nothing that we talk about is that serious and doesn't need to be taken seriously. Like it is it is, you know, at the end of the day, it's just a podcast about friends giggling at dirty books. Has it changed how you feel about Smut? I. I know more about it so I can join in conversations. I still am not reading it.

I'm still I'm still happy with the amount that I am consuming by by proxy. Yeah, but. I mean, I notice it more like when we'll be at like the Target checkout and it's just these cute little look like summer beach reads where I'm like, that book is nasty. Oh, yeah. It's like a lady who's reading a book on a chair next to a pool and she's got like big sunglasses on. And and you're like, oh, no, no, she has sex with three hockey teams at once. And you're like, what? Yeah. The one that you'll see you can the audience can look out for now. It's called Pucking Around.

And hockey is a huge like trope in these books. I don't know why it's always hockey players, but it is. But then they never touch on that. They don't have teeth, which is like a huge problem for me. And in one of our first episodes, I think it might have been the first episode that Andrew from Regulation listened to where we were like, oh, he's a bad boy, you know, whatever position this hockey player is. And Andrew was like, that guy would never be in the penalty box.

Like, that's not like a position that ends up in that sort of thing. Third line best. Yeah. Yeah. That's one thing I love about the hockey trope or that subgenre in Book Talk that's so popular is you, a lot of people may not know this, but you grew up the daughter of one of the biggest hockey fans. Wayne Gretzky. Maybe on earth who, like, I think lives for Wayne Gretzky.

Yeah, like we grew up with, it wasn't football or basketball on TV. It was hockey that was on TV every night. Yeah. And like your brother played hockey and like so you guys were always around hockey. Well, we lived in L.A. when Gretzky was with the Kings. So it's like, of course, you know. Yeah. And so you you have a lot of inside baseball knowledge on hockey that I don't think they were expecting. But then now that I've seen, like once Book Talk got a hold of like Hockey Talk, you see some of their warmups and you're like, oh my gosh, why is he stretching like that? But yeah, so that one, Pucking Around, that you'll see at Target Checkout,

that one is a wide shoes one where the girl gets two at the same time in the same place, which then I'm like, well, how is that physically possible? You know, and then we're trying, we got to get like Barbie dolls to where we're like, I think, I think his legs are over here and her legs are over here. Yeah, needing the little like, needing the maquette dolls to try to figure out the physical positioning of everything I think is great. Another thing y'all do, you don't necessarily do it every time, but when you do it, I absolutely love it. Is you try to cast who you think the people are.

You'd be like, oh, that's a Robert Pattinson type. But you are, if I may say, uniquely bad at it in the funniest way. So every guy for you is Jesse Eisenberg. No. Or Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell is always the like just basic guy, just a guy. Jesse Eisenberg was one when it was a nerdy witch boy that I was like, that's him. Of course, it's it's also

this this podcast is ADHD book club. Like we try to stay on track, but we go off and then things that the whether they're intrusive thoughts or whatever, it's just where it's like, oh, that's what I think of first, you know, and who knows? But Glenn Powell is usually when I'm like, oh, he's just a guy. Yeah, just a generic guy. Just guy. Nothing great. And I and I don't know what it says about me, but like every time when I read this stuff, like the guys always sound like the voices, they're always like, oh, you're still hot.

Yeah. That's another thing is you do voices, which is great. You do accents. You do you get into it. Yeah. When you're doing the first come, my accents aren't good. It's because of your because I'm a dumb American. But I do like at the after each episode, one of the things I like is that I get to come to you and say, so this week, this is what we talked about. And you just, I feel like you, as it has gotten into our like weird era lately, you're more silent afterwards and just go,

OK, all right, well. And one of my favorite one star reviews, which is how I sum up a lot of the books now is like, well, those were words on a page. Yeah, I always love the debrief I get at the end of the night when you come home from recording. Yeah. How how do you guys because you you are three people. Yeah, you're a triangle of smutty comedy, right?

Where no side of the triangle is more important than the other. Right. How do the three of you handle running a business together? How do you deal with conflict, division of labor? Is that something that just you guys haven't had to deal with yet? Thankfully, thankfully, Barbara is really into astrology where she can be like, she's a Mars moon and that's going to be this or this. Or if we're being snippy, which I feel like it helps to diffuse it too. Like you can be you can be snippy. I can.

Oh, my God. I know instantly when you're in that mood. Right. Then she'll go, let me look up where the moon is. And then she'll be like, oh, yep, that's what this is. You know, but I think that we we all have the same end goal. We are all new to every part of it. So we have all had to learn all of it.

So nobody is coming in as an expert. Everybody is. We all came of it. So we have all had to learn all of it. So nobody is coming in as an expert. Everybody is, we all came into it at our baseline of not knowing anything. And then kind of falling into our pattern, like what we excel at. And what we can do while working full-time jobs. Like my job, you know, I am 100% interacting with clients all day long.

I can't sit and edit. And where Barbara at first, you know, she wasn't working and now she is. So that's where our first thing we need to do is hire an editor. But where we are comfortable and where we excel and where we have the vision for things where we've just kind of found what we do well at by being thrown into being like, OK, I can grab this. You grab that. Yeah.

Can you help me with this? I think that it again, it helps being. Knowing a lot about ourselves and each other while also learning more about. Right. Like knowing that you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And that you all don't know and that you're kind of on even playing field in that. Yeah.

Regard. And so there's not a lot of ego, I would imagine. No, no. I think that. Which is something that I deal with or I have dealt with in the past constantly. Really? It was like egos, like just managing egos. I always not to get too into it, but, you know, I used to say to people when they would ask what my job was like for the last couple of years, last eight or nine years, I would just say, it's just a lot of managing egos.

Yeah, we don't have the egos yet because we're still just little babies. Yeah. You know, but we, it's all balanced too. Like I, nobody is less of a presence on the show. There's not anybody in the background that only talks every now and then. We all speak the same amount.

And they take turns with who's presenting. I think that for now, it's great. And again, Vanessa and I are like sisters where if we get into it, it's sisterly and it's not even getting into it. And it can be about, it's like most things, if you ever get into an argument, it's not about what you're arguing about. Yeah, you're right. It's a 10-year-old friendship argument you guys are arguing about. Yeah. Or it's like, I'm pissy because my husband lost his job and we moved and we have a puppy. And we, and I started this podcast

in the midst of wedding planning and, you know, just like life. So I might be pissy about that and then take it out on, and work, you know, everything that, like sisters, we can solve it. And I was just great. You know, everyone's great. I also don't want to make it sound like you guys fight all the time.

No, I know. I was like, I feel like I was like reaching for something. Yeah, no, I just I just I. So I asked because I from the outside viewers perspective, I it seems like you guys get along in infuriatingly well. Yeah. And are always all kind of seem to be rowing in the same direction. And, you know, I I shouldn't act like I don't have that in my career right now, too, because the core group that I'm working with is is very much the same. But it's just like it just looks from a distance like you guys have it figured out

and that you're humming and you guys get along alarmingly well, considering the stress of doing everything that you're doing. Like I watched you for the last three weeks. And I know I start one of the things I'm proudest of in my career is that I created Rooster Teeth's e-commerce business. I I I built it from the ground up and got it as good as I could, which was not great. And they handed it off to much more talented people who then took and ran with it.

And over the last month, maybe three weeks. I watched you just you came to me the other day and you said I think I think it's time For us to have an e-commerce store and I was like, oh, okay. Well, yeah, that's those are complicated a little frustrating Let me know if you if you you know, you need any assistance or anything or you want and then you just showed me a store the other day and people are already buying stuff and you figured out how to run Shopify and Printful or where how the fuck you're doing it and sourcing your equipment. You got logos, you have different hats and shirts and you just like something that it took me. An appreciable part of my life to figure out in 2003 to 2005, granted, it was a different world back then. Different.

You were just like, yeah, just took me in my spare time. to figure out in 2003 to 2005, granted it was a different world back then. Different. You were just like, yeah, just took me in my spare time. I'm not trying to diminish the amount of work that went into it, but you totally figured it out and asked zero. Actually the only advice I gave you, you did not take. Which, and I think you were right not to take it honestly.

We were having discussion and I said, one thing that I would be careful with is overloading your audience with too much merch. Right. I was like, I wouldn't have more than three items. And you were like, no, fuck you. And you have like, I don't know, way more. But it's awesome. People are buying it all. And it's all cool merch.

And I and I looked at your story just yesterday. I was looking at your story. I thought, why did I think that? I clearly don't know what I'm talking about. This is totally fine. I'm glad she didn't listen to me. Well, some of it is also just like market research to see what are people buying? What are people wanting with the way that it is now? Because we aren't in and I. The the big piece of advice that I did take from you was

I shouldn't buy it and fulfill it myself. That is the like, I guess, like not yet. Not yet. You should do that. But you gave me the numbers that I need to hit to see if it's worth it. And you gave you did give me examples of things that are true from your past, of where you were like, you know, I posted, would anybody buy this shirt? And 13000 people said yes. And then when I bought 13000 shirts, only 600 people bought it.

You know, so it's like. And that's also with the market research of wanting to, cause when I look at the numbers of our listeners, it is about 50, 50 men and women that at least, that shows up on Spotify's algorithm that I can see. That's awesome, by the way, to be able to be that balanced. I would kill for that kind of balance.

Which I think a lot of it is thank you to y'all. So, but then when I look at who's buying our merch, it's mostly females or, you know, whatever. And so I I'm able to see like and that hats more than this other thing or that, you know, people seem to want sticker like that kind of stuff. So as I put everything out, see what people want and then see how I evolve from there. But it's fun.

It's been fun to learn. I may have subscribed to like 12 different services. I don't know because I just was like, I guess I need an account here. I guess I need an account here. And so scared that I'm gonna do something wrong. And then now that it's like, okay, things are shipping, people are receiving them, they're liking them. One of our listeners, she actually texted or she messaged us, she's the one that came

up with wide shoes. I feel like she's like becoming my favorite. That she was, she has her busy businesswoman mug, which is one of like our things from our show. And she said she was walking by her husband and he slapped her ass in a loving way that she dropped her mug and she was like, no. And like her and her husband both were like, no. And she said it didn't break.

And so she was like, so it's, you know, like shout out to the quality. And I was like, so it's, you know, like shout out to the quality. And I was like, if it can survive a butt slap startle, then, you know, that's great. That is so funny. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. The world is yours to create. Tickets at Cirque du Soleil dot com. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew is back for the summer at Starbucks. So bold and so dreamy. It's the coolest co-pilot for wherever the sunshine takes you. Embrace the chill, the silky cold foam of that anticipated first sip.

And join us on summertime, only at Starbucks. How does it feel to have a community? It's another something I try. It's easy to take for granted once you have it. I try desperately not to. But how does it feel to have to know that? Because one of the things I think is great about y'all is you guys have you guys have been steady.

You have a you have steady growth. But the people that tune in this week are coming back next week. You have a dedicated audience, which I think is a really hard thing to cultivate, and you guys have it. And you also learn pretty quickly how important a dedicated audience is

and how it doesn't have to be, like you see people with 100 million Instagram followers. Right. And you get used to the idea that that's that's what audiences look like. But you find out that a few hundred or a few thousand people are incredibly powerful. Oh, yeah. And can it can totally support a community or a production. And so how does it feel to have an audience that is buying your merchandise, that is tuning in every week, that is subscribing to your Patreon,

that's sending you guys emails, that's giving you ideas for books? It's crazy. It's bizarre because I've only ever, like the only firsthand knowledge I have of that is seeing it with you. And it's so big and it's so interesting. And, you know, I mean, in the, we've seen a lot of the dark side of that too. And I, I mean, I love it. Everybody that we have is so sweet,

so supportive and so fun. But I do have a little bit of a guard up in certain things just because of situations that we have experienced ourselves or through other people that, but I think that we are very well curated in that way of to, to, the community's, it's hard. It's, it's interesting, but it's also amazing. Like I'm also obsessed.

And like, even these people that I get these messages from and we have recognized their names or we see like the, like their interaction multiple times that- Watching- I love that. Watching you guys get an email when you're around each other and then read it together and get giddy. Yeah, really. It's really sweet.

Oh, yeah. Like, well, our text thread is like we'll screenshot it and we share it with each other and T about it or be like, oh, yeah, she's this one or whatever. And there was someone who went through and commented on all of our YouTube videos. It was like, I'm here now. And then it'd go to another video and be like, I'm here now. And they were saying like a bunch of funny, but like also just like just silly stuff. I think that the people that we have are so silly and so.

Just like us, that it's fun because you're getting again, it's it's that fourth person in the room. It's the one that is chiming in with their own funny joke. Or, you know, like we were asking if Minotaur cum is vegan. You know, and I don't think it could be. And we get well. OK, so apparently, according to one of our we don't have like a word for them yet, like our pearl clutches or whatever. Yeah.

They were saying that or whatever. Yeah. They were saying that if the Minotaur is able to consent to their cum being consumed, it is, how they view it, it is considered vegan. Because the person who gave it is considered vegan. The same way that breast milk is vegan, I guess. I wasn't aware that breast milk is vegan.

Cause the mother is consenting to the child. Yeah, I get the distinction. The cows aren't consenting, but the minotaurs, because they have to be milked, they'll die if they get too backed up. I have the same problem. So if they're consenting to it, it was like that. It's like those silly scenarios that we get that feedback

or the interaction with that, that we like it. But it's fun. Like I said, it's still so small and it's still like nice. And I think that maybe it'll be hopefully in the future if we can ever do like any sort of a live event, which would be so fun or any convention or something that we can be a guest at. Hopefully these are like my pie in the sky goals. That's where we'll be able to at least put a face to it.

Because right now it is the like, right now it's just like numbers on the internet that are like, wow, that's crazy. I didn't know that even two people would listen. Meaning like you and Vanessa's husband, bad dog. Like we thought those would be our only listeners. I can't wait till you're at the grocery store one day and somebody's like, Emily?

Oh my God. Clutch My Pearls, Emily? I'm excited to see, because again, I'm the freak that gets to see everybody's orders, and I'm like, ooh, there is a Clutch My Pearls hat floating around in Austin somewhere. Which means I will be the loser that comes up

and is like, oh my God, you're wearing my hat. Hi, I'm gonna sit down and talk to you. This is the most fun you'll ever have doing what you're doing. It's at this size in these moments. You just unlocked so many memories of me in early Rooster Teeth in my house where I had turned my garage into our store, right?

I had just shelves of shirts and shit. And I'd be in my living room, printing out orders with Gus. And I'd be like, we got a fan in Idaho! That's red versus blue in Idaho! We'd be high fiving each other and shit, you know, you know, it's we're talking about the audience. I do think another thing and you you mentioned your pie in the sky where you think this could go.

And I guess that would be like public appearances, conventions, that kind of thing, getting to interact with the people that listen to your podcast. I think you guys have a pretty good shot because I really do feel like you guys are at a right place, right time moment. Book talk seems to be exploded, like bursting at the seams as a as a movement in a genre with smut. I mean, you talked about how your light bulb moment was when you're you're in there watching Barbara and Vanessa talking about the smut and you realize they're reading the same book and you're like, oh, this is a podcast. But before that, you you had I remember you talking about it.

You had a series of moments where you're like, and then I realized that this client reads smut and this client reads smut and this client reads smut. And I realized every woman that walks in my salon has a Kindle and is reading these same books. And then you started to show me this is before the podcast. We'd be at the airport and you'd be like, you see that lady on a Kindle right now? I guarantee you she's reading Smut. Yeah. And I'd start to see it everywhere. I really do feel like it's an exploding genre.

And you guys, that's underserved. But it's more of like, I know that Vanessa was saying that because she would she would want to hear someone talking about the book that she's reading or whatever. And sometimes they there are a lot, but they're more, you know, book reports. And where this this at the root of it is a comedy podcast. The book is the thin premise to get you in the door for the universe that you guys are building. That we joke about. Like it is it is like it is way more comedy than book report for sure.

And so a lot of them, they'd be that, or it would be focused on one certain series. Like there is the, where I think that the lot of the smut starts with, there's a huge, huge, huge book series called A Court of Thorns and Roses. Akatar, yeah, which stands for A Court of Thorns and Roses, which it's this author, Sarah J. Moss, I don't know enough about it.

I know that I see everybody read it, but that series progressively gets more Smutty. And so people are realizing that they really like the that they're like, oh, I kind of want more of that. Like it's like holding your hand into the world of Smut. I think that they kind of like they soft walk you into it. I think that the author, I think she wrote the first book when she was like 18.

Oh, and so I think that she grew up a little bit and and it get a lot of people into the fantasy and where they're like, oh, maybe I want more like fairy type. This is like sexy Game of Thrones. I think I think so. From what we have, we're hoping to do a series on Akatar because it is so huge. But I think that is a that is most people's jumping off point. Or they're like, oh, I read 50 Shades of Grey forever ago. So it's like trying to find something in the middle where there is a good story to it or not or whatever. That then, I mean, women or just certain people

are just more into, the men that are in these books are men written from the POV of a woman. So it's like sometimes it's things that we like in these books. But we like, like, I don't want someone to track me like in this one book we read. But in the book, we're like, oh, my God, he like followed her. I know you're like, he really loved her. He's a basketball player. And when this guy hit on his girlfriend,

he took him out onto the half court during halftime and he set him on fire with the mascot. Yeah. That didn't happen, but we thought that that would be fun to happen. And that was in the right move. I love you, but I'm not looking to set somebody on fire. No, and yeah, it's all that stuff where we're like, oh my God, the guy working at the gas station kind of hit on her. And so then he went in and he blew it up and we're like, that's so hot. He blew up a gas station for her. Which then when Barbara read that she turned to Eric and was like,

would you burn down a gas station for me? And that's just when you go like, yeah, of course, I would burn down a gas station for you. And you're like, thank you. Like, that's all we need. OK, so just lie to you. Yeah, yeah. OK, just say you would. I mean, like you would. Right. Well, do you want burn a gas station down for the guy? Like touch my butt. He touched you.

Yeah. And so then you go in and then you ask him or you ask me which hand. And then you go in and you could chop that guy's hand off. And then you set fire to the gas and we drive away. And you're in the mafia. I'm it's like you're reading my thoughts. What you would have we talked about this before. How did you know that that's what I would do? And then I'm not like all the other girls. I'm so unique.

Emily, you are definitely not like the other girls. You are unlike any other girl I've ever met. You are such an interesting amalgamation of issues and. Oh, my God. You describe me as having issues and fussy. Oh my God. I'm kidding. I know you love me. I do. I'm so I'm so absolutely in love with you.

And I genuinely also love your podcast and what you guys are creating. I think that the chemistry you have is something special. And I hope people will go out there and give it a try and listen to it. And I think you might find, I think that a lot of people might find that they're fans of smut. Well, yeah, just like that.

It's silly. It's silly to be, you know, like it's a lot of like kind of reclaiming your sexuality in a way, or not. I mean, we've even had, again, these emails of where there was this person who emailed us, and these are the ones that mean a lot, where they're like, I maybe had a traumatic experience

in listening to this and realizing that sex can be funny, sex can be silly, or just sexuality, or just talking about it, and not saying that we will heal your trauma in any way, because that is 100 percent on them. They did that on their own. Yeah. But, you know, even for myself, I've like. Laughing about it or being silly.

I really love what you said there, reclaiming your sexuality through comedy, because. I think there's a lot of power in that. But in reclaiming anything through comedy, you know, all things through comedy. Yeah. You know, heal all wounds through comedy is how I've dealt with my entire life. All of the trauma and tragedy and difficulty that I've gone through have have been handled or mishandled through the lens of self-deprecation in comedy, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And even the guys listening to it, y'all can learn a few things. Like, just not you, because you're perfect, but like,

things where we're like, oh, yeah, his eyes darkened or his jaw clenched or he gave her the knee where it's like, oh, you know, just those little things that we find attractive or hot that they's like, you know, just those little things that we find attractive or hot, that they're like, guys realizing that doesn't take much sometimes. I've been working on my eye darkening, but every time I do it, you ask if I'm constipated. Yeah, I'm like, why are you looking at me like that? Why do you look like Charles Manson right now? My eyes are dark. You like this.

Or when you try to get... I'm reclaiming my sexuality right now. You try to give me the knee and you just like bash into me. I UFC'd you. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry. I don't own my own strength. Yeah, yeah.

Well, Emily, thank you so much for taking the time to sit down with me on your Friday for a second time to do this interview because of technical problems, but also because of Jeff problems. I appreciate your patience. to sit down with me on your Friday for a second time to do this interview because of technical problems, but also because of Jeff problems. I appreciate your patience with me in this interview, but in all things, because you have been an. Unrelentingly patient person with me, and I know that it hasn't been easy. I've been you've been how long we've been together, seven years.

I've been with me for 49 years as of two days ago and so on. Nobody knows how annoying I am better than I do. You're a wonderful. So I really appreciate the blinders that you have that make you see that in me. And I hope, I was saying earlier, but I hope people will check out Clutch My Pearls. Where can they listen to it? Where's your patreon your YouTube? Well first of all Thank you for being an inspiration and a wonderful mentor and I only did this because you

Only ever encouraged me to do anything anything I want to do anything you you also you also were very good at being like when I was like is this stupid? Should I not do this? Is it gonna be embarrassing? You're like, oh no, I'm not gonna let you embarrass me. It's good. But like that I am a huge part of why I'm doing this is from your encouragement and your support. And that's very sweet and kind of you. And so you're just the best thing ever. But people can find, before you shit on that,

people can find us at Clutch My Pearls pod everywhere on the internet, patreon.com at Clutch My Pearls pod everywhere on the Internet, Patreon.com slash Clutch My Pearls pod and like, subscribe, follow every little follow on every platform, every account you've got. We're trying to get any numbers going and, you know, tell everybody in your life about it. And we just really appreciate it. And I appreciate you. And you're the best thing ever.

I appreciate you and I love you. And I, you know, I'm not super comfortable with compliments. But it's true. I've seen you do that to everybody, everybody in your surroundings, everybody that you ever worked with, you always mentored, encouraged, motivated. And that's, you know, me watching that as your partner, you know, gave me the confidence to do this. Well, thank you. That's very nice of you to say.

And I just I think you're fabulous and I love you and I love your podcast and I'm excited to see where it goes. Oh, you know what? I keep trying to wrap this up, but I keep having questions to ask you. Okay. I meant to ask this earlier. Have you interacted with an author yet? We had one author, which thankfully it was a book that we liked.

I mean, the interaction was like she reposted one of our stories and she was like, can't wait to listen or something. Oh, it was something like, oh, good. We didn't shit on that book too much. Like, good, good, good. But no, I would. Liz Tomford is the author that we have covered three of her books. We say that she's a triple dipper.

But no, some of these authors are, especially if it's the really weird shit, they kind of use pen names. Like there's the guy who did the Conquered by Clippy. His photo is silly and I don't know if that's actually who he is, something Delaney. So there are men that write smut. The only one we've done, yeah, the one we did

that was 12 pages that was Conquered by Clippy, which was the sequel to like Tempted by Tetris or something. It's the same character, she gets pregnant by Tetris in the first book, of course. Yeah. And then the second when she goes to get conquered by Clippy, the owner of Microsoft, Phil Gates, flies her out to Clippy and he bangs her. And then, you know, but yeah, that that's what the and he put vagina in parentheses. He's. How big is the how big how how big of a clip is he?

Oh, he's huge. He's like really tall and he has a glowing red rod that I think just kind of comes out and a glowing red rod. Yeah. Yeah. They never really followed up also on like that. She had been pregnant by Tetris in the book. OK, I'm now I'm clutching my. Yeah, that's why I was like that. That baby didn't make it.

I don't think those. Well, thanks for listening to another episode of the So All Right podcast. Emily Hatfield, I love you to death. I love you. But that being said, you have to live forever with. Yeah, forever and ever and ever. And I really, really appreciate your time. I really appreciate you doing this for me a second time.

Thank you for this opportunity. It's been an honor and a privilege. I love you. I love you. I can't wait to spend the rest of today and then the rest of my life with you. Yeah, I gotta go to work later, but then we'll spend the rest of the day together.

Let's get started on that. Yeah, what's our song for this episode? Oh God, I need a song. I need a song for the episode, right? Yeah. What is our song?? Oh, God, I need a song. I need a song for the episode, right? Yeah. What is our song? Hot to Go by Chapel Rowan. There you go. Chapel Rowan. She's having a moment right now.

H-O-T-T-O-G-O. Do you know that song was out? That album was out for like almost a year before it got popular. Yeah, she's the best thing ever. And it's the song is about like reclaiming, like being hot, like being hot is fun and it's sexy and like, you know, be like, I want to be hot. I want to be sexy and all that. All right. There you go. Song of the day or song of the episode.

Hot to go by Chapel Rhone. Yeah, that's the name. Yeah. I guess this will do it. We'll see you next week for another episode of Saul Wright. It'll probably be me rambling, but I will be doing another interview in the near future with my friend Batdog. Hey. Look out for that, and probably some other people.

Down the road. All right. This is the end of the show. La la la la la la la la la la la. Mwah!