Soder - 22: One of Many with Neal Brennan | Soder Podcast | EP 21

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Soder is joined by comedian  @nealbfree and they talk about how CRAZY you need to be to be GREAT. Abusive parents and growing up, the Baltimore bridge was BAD, Bio pics SUCK, Mac Miller's new song, Caddy on the PGA tour, Michael Jordan stories, Barry sanders and other CRAZY people, Kardashian hustle, and Drake vs Kendrick Lamarr. Support the sponsors to support the show! Find your social sweet spot, with BetterHelp. ● Visit BetterHelp.com/soder today to get 10% off your first month. ● That’s BetterHelp.com/soder If there’s one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it’s AG1, and that's why I’m excited to welcome them as a new partner. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/soder. That’s drinkAG1.com/soder. Check it out. Follow   @nealbfree https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan/?hl=en PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Dan is on the road all 2024! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour April 12-13 Omaha,NE April 19-21 Washington,DC May 10-11 - East Providence, RI May 31st - June 1 Columbus,OH May 16-18 - Grand Rapids, MI May 31 - June 1 - Columbus, OH June 12 - Macon, GA June 14 - Savannah,GA June 16 - Daytona Beach, FL June 20 - Canton, OH Jun 21 - Columbia,MD Jun 22 - Pittsburgh,PA June 28 - Camdenton,MO June 29 - Brandon,MS June 30 - Orange Beach, AL July 18-20 Indianapolis, IN August 22 - 24 - Buffalo,NY Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by     @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en 00:00 Dance 04:30 WE are the World 06:13 Hulk Hogan 09:30 Ai out of control 14:30 magicians 16:00 Talent Shows 22:30 90s TV 28:00 Wrestling 35:00 Talent Show Champ

Yeah. Something I've always been amazed with is that you grew up with 10, you had 10 total kids. Your kids, your parents, I'm one of 10. Yeah. You're one of 10. Yeah. No one does that anymore. They don't got it. They can't, they can't, they don't got that. But also there used to not be standards. Yeah. So it was easier. It's like a factory that was producing a lot of merch. Yeah. And, but had no safe, like a lot of people losing hands. Yeah.

They're like, no, there's zero safety. Yeah. There's no, there was that sign of like been zero days since a Brennan got their feelings hurt. I mean, so as a only child, as someone that grew up with no siblings, was there ever a moment where one of the, you were the baby, right? So you were the baby. Did any of the middle siblings ever tell you that they were jealous of you being the baby? Was there ever an honest conversation between siblings where they were like, what happened was there was, it was 10 kids in 16 years. Oh damn. So there's some Irish twins.

I think there's multiple. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah. My mom was in labor with me. This is not a joke. My mom was in labor with me for 45 minutes. It sounds like a, yeah, not a joke. She has a fact. She had you the way assassins put together rifles.

Yeah. Where she's like, yeah, just like she's like, yeah, when it caught it, ping, I like hit a spitting. Yeah, the so I was, there was like the older bunch and then they were, yeah, they were like jealous of the group. Was there like, was it grouped in? There's ten of you. What would happen was we would, we lived in Philadelphia. Yeah. And then my dad got a job and we moved to Chicago.

My Joe Sheila and Kevin, the oldest, literally got like left back in Philadelphia. Like go to like go to school and I've Kevin didn't have a place to stay for a few days. This explains so much about it. I mean, and, uh, and then, then we moved to Chicago for a few years and then then we moved back to Philly when we left Chicago, Tommy was left. So you're just scary. Yeah. We were like, go and be like, all right, we'll be right back. And then leave. No, no, wait, go to school. And then we'd bounce as a family.

They'd realize what happened. Why don't you, your dad was like, why don't you go upstairs and see if the heat's still on. And then he goes, that's like, he's doing that laughter of something. He goes, yeah, I think we left something upstairs. Go, go, go, go, go. When you come back to Philly,

are the three kids like, hey. Yeah, like, hey, go. Yeah. When you come back to Philly, are the three kids like, Hey, yeah, like, Hey, what, what happened? What the fuck? What the fuck? I've been, I've been at the, I've been at seven. I've been a while while waiting. Yeah. Um, the, so there was that thing and there was a bit of like me and my brother, Danny were, uh, like the softy twins. They called, but at the same time, like my dad was still an abusive alcoholic. So it's like, they, they also knew it was like a different form of psychological terror. You were going to catch, you were catching like a,

like there was an explosion at the abuse factory. You know, they always feel like there's an explosion at the flavor factory. At the abuse factory. Yeah. We're fusing mental and physical. Cool. So that was, and it was also, there were fewer people around. Yeah. So it was, you really got to see what was happening. Yeah. Because I bet with like with, with that many kids when you have an abusive parent, it there's probably a lot of like a fog of confusion because you don't know who's

setting them off or what setting them off. No one's setting them up. It's all nonsense. It's all nonsense. It's no like, well, that was justified. It was never justified. And I got to say, like I had a clip do well about me and Jimmy Carr talking about my childhood and like, I don't, I don't really think about it that much anymore. Like I was hung up on it. And then at a certain point you just get like a comic, right? Self pity is the, is the, the whole game.

Self pity. And then we get revenge. Yeah. And, uh, and if you're good enough at it, they gave you a billion dollars. God, it's like a mix of you're pretty good, they have a few millions. And if you're all right, you know, you're a genius. This week, you know, you have your pockets in your house. Pretty nice cameras and good, two big lights. Some memorabilia like a, like they, like he, he got an Amazon podcast background. Yeah. Um, this is actually a got an Amazon podcast background. Yeah.

This is actually a curtain that you pull down. It's just back and there's nothing there. That's all the whole Kogan and all these chachkas. Yeah. So I don't, uh, now I judge my parents and my mom specifically. I'm like effort and level of difficulty. It's a high level of difficulty impossible situation and she made a good effort. Yeah you're like the results were uneven but like I dant I just can't it's like at a certain point it's like you know in figure skating

when they give like if you try like a triple axel yeah and you don't land it they're like no but the degree of difficulty you like tried the hardest thing yeah like ten kids is the triple axle of parenting. It's the one that you're not allowed to do that. They go, no, no, no. Like even now. The black lady, the black guy did, I think some, a black person did it recently. And they were like, it doesn't count. I love the fact that black people are now taking over figure skating.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like when hockey, nothing. Didn't happen with hockey. There's, there's a lot of, they're not taking look. They're not taking over You know what? You know what the one that made guys hockey safe. I go to sleep my northern my northern whites It's fine hockey's all right. It's too cold. The one that made me smile was Watching black kids take over skateboarding. Mm-hmm where you're like, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know if they've, again, not taken over yet. Yeah. They haven't, they are not putting up the numbers, but give them time. Yeah. Give them time. Uh, you said your dad was an alcoholic. Do you, I,

my parents were alcoholics. Do you find small world, no world. Go ahead. Yeah. I get annoyed with people who didn't have alcoholic parents. I get like, I get annoyed at them not knowing the chaos. Yeah. Where you're like, Oh, so you just grew up in a house and you knew who was walking through the door every time. Fucking lay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I I'm with you. Obviously the petty part of me is like,

I'm, I'm sitting in your lap right now, but like, I don't, I can't say that I, I resent most people in most things. That's what I haven't quite gotten around to that one. I just kind of do the thing where I'm like, um, where I'm like, ah, fuck you. It's also, I, it's the upside of, I don't think normal. Yeah. I can't, you know what I mean? Like I don't have you made peace with that? Have you just made peace? Yeah, I had, you have, I mean like block special,

the last one was more just like feeling feeling it. And now I'm like, the new special is called crazy good April night because I'm saying like crazy's good. Yeah. Like the whole back half is like anything good in the world is from psychopaths and drug addicts. Well, I always think about, um, you know, the best pound for pound fighter in the world, uh, world right now, bud Crawford, he's from Omaha, Nebraska. And you watch an interview with his mom and his mom was like, yeah, growing up, I told all the kids in the neighborhood, if you can beat up,

but I'll give you 10 bucks. No one could beat them up. And he, and then you talk to him and he's like, yeah, and he looks like it. Yeah. Well, he's just like, mom put a bounty on him. Yeah. And you're like, oh yeah. You're the toughest motherfucker in the world. Because that's like what it kind of to elaborate on your point, the crazy is good. It's like you learn your every anything good comes from something fucked up. It's the, it's, and then I go like, well, Neil, what are you saying? Are all comedians psychopaths and drug addicts? I'm like, so far. Yeah.

So far. Yeah, dude. And then I just go down the list and I'm like, so far. Yeah. So far. And then I just go down the list and I was like, I could go endlessly. I mean, my love of substances is, Oh, I have to, I have to keep it tight because I just, if I wanted, if I could, I would, I just go all in. I would, I miss drinking, smoking cigarettes. I miss all of it. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. But the But the positive of it is going through it. And then you learn like, oh, okay, I don't know what you learn is that. Again, I don't know if it's the reflex, like the joke writing reflex is honed from craziness, but it doesn't leave if you're sober. No, it doesn't. You don't go like, well, huh? Wow. Think like a drunk person.

Yeah. Yeah. How do I, this Baltimore bridge? What should I, dude, I was, I was, think, think, think Andrew Huberman. How can I possibly make a good joke about this? There's not been a situation. And I was talking about this on stage last night, the Baltimore bridge. There has not been a situation where I have not empathized with someone more

than the guy on that ship that was just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's like, poooor. You know, then he was like, fucking, it's Baltimore. Yeah, he goes, wow. Oh, it's a big port. It's fucking Baltimore, what, 80 bucks? Come on.

Okay, the wire wrapped 10 years ago. Yeah, but that whole thing of everyone's like, cause immediately everyone was like terrorist attack, terrorist attack. I was like, nah, it's just the guy fucking up at work. Yeah. It's, it's not, it was, it was like, it was a real accident. Yeah. It was mechanical. It looks like an accident. Yeah. I mean the lights went off on the boat. It looks like a slip and fall. It looks, you know what I mean? It looks like a fail army

instead of the glasses in the different one. We're like, Oh fuck. Someone needs to hit the curb music when the bridge goes down. It's like, yeah, it's not like a, it wasn't a, it wasn't a professional job. That's the problem with conspiracies now is that they used to kind of go ahead. I mean, there's too many. Everything is a conspiracy. Everything is a conspiracy.

Because people are dumb and they go, well, I'm not going to just buy the explanation. I'm not going to buy the media explanation, but I am going to buy the first explanation to the counter. Any old explanation. Yeah, but I'm not a sheeple, but fucking, give me the spoon. I'm going to fucking eat that baby. I'm also going to defend it. I'm going to defend it to my family. Yeah. So my friends, that's my favorite one is where they go. Not only am I on board, I'm going to lose everyone around me because of it. I got a website. Yeah. It's it is.

It's shocking to me how quickly people will just go like, well, that's a conspiracy on stuff that you're like, it's clearly not. It's it. The conspiracies are supposed to signal your intelligence and they do the opposite. Yeah. Also, I think, and they also signal that you don't really understand how complex things are and how no one can keep a secret about anything. Yeah. And we, I mean,

I think it's because of all the thriller movies of the nineties in the pelican brief. Yeah. Like all those where they're like, this thing is so straight, all the way to the top, all the way to the top. Katie and I always make fun of those movies. Biopics always do the line with musicians where someone will say something like the two pock one. He's like I feel like I got all eyes on me and they have that line. Yeah, they had something like that and then they always in the we make fun of the bio picks because they always go. That's it.

That's the song and then they're like yeah and then the like club day and then Mike Myers in the script for Austin powers yeah, which is a fucking masterpiece. He had a thing where he's walking through the club. They cut it way down, but there was a thing where like Andy Warhol. Oh, he says Andy Warhol like Andy. I think all people are going to be famous for fifteen. Like he just does five of those. He does the forest go yeah, he does the the, and then you got it. Cause it must not work. But, but yeah,

true talking about Austin powers. You can't bring it up without me saying, I wish Colin Quinn would have been Scott evil. Why? Cause that would have been a such a different role and so funny, but Mike wanted Colin to be Scott. Is that true? Yeah. He wrote the role of Scott evil for Mike, uh, for Colin Quinn. Colin turned it down. Really? Cause Colin was like, I got my own thing. He was working on something. Mike works Colin. Yeah. Like he was,

Colin said no to Scott evil. So fun. And now you think about that scenery goes, you know, I can go upstairs and get the gun and shoot them together. It's like a father and son thing. And he was like, it changes. It's so funny cause it's a meta joke on the joke he did. Yeah. It's like the real cause a cause Seth Green did my pockets. We talked about it. Like Seth Green's amazing. He's great, but it's a different, that's very funny. It's a different character. Collins kind of is older than Mike, which is funny. Yeah.

But it would have been funny to have it like Colin would have played such a great 30 year old son. Like a deadbeat son. Yeah it's just a shit head from Brooklyn. Yeah but what are you doing here? He's like I don't know that. I just want you to be friends with me. It's like I don't fuck with you. Omaha, Nebraska. I'm coming to the Omaha Funny Bone April 12th and 13th. Got four shows, so buy tickets now. I think one of those shows is sold out, but you could probably still go get tickets.

And then the DC Improv, we are gonna be adding a show Sunday night. We're gonna be adding a late show. So right now, the first five shows are sold out, but we're adding a sixth on Sunday night that's Sunday the 21st of April and then I will see you in Providence May 9th through the 11th and bring him a boy Andy Fiori with me that's gonna be Providence Comedy Connection 9th through the 11th and then Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids Michigan Michigan. Coming back to Grand Rapids May 16th through the 18th. All my dates are listed at DanSodder.com

Go watch On The Road on YouTube and thank you for watching the podcast. I love you so much. Guys I'm unhealthy. I'm very unhealthy. You know that. I love fast food. I love candy. I'm a giant child but AG1 is helping me become more healthy. I don't know if healthier. That's probably how you say that. I should learn that since I talk for a living, but AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like optimization, stress management, and immune support.

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to be. What if it was a different product? No, it's AG1. It would be funny if I turned midway through. And that's why I'm excited to welcome them as a new partner. If you want to take ownership of your health, it's your health. If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash soda. That's drinkag1.com slash soda. Check it out. Yeah. I mean, Colin Quinn as

Mike Myers' son. I always like thinking about roles like that. Like when they said that Eddie Murphy was supposed to be in Ghostbusters. Yeah. That's like fantasy book. Yeah, no, yeah, you're right. It's, yeah, like Will Smith's was supposed to be Neo.

Yeah. Chris Farley was supposed to be Shrek. Yeah, I mean was. And Cable Guy. Yeah,ley was supposed to be Shrek. Yeah. I mean, was cable guy. Yeah. Yeah. I think he recorded. Yeah.

Chris Farley, they have the audio. They have like the test footage of him as Shrek. Get ready for the re-release. Oh, they're going to put it out. They just put out a new Mac Miller song and Katie. Yeah. And Katie was like, how? And I was like, you got to ask yourself.

It's a good song. Yeah. But that really is the only situation where you can go it can only be positive reviews Because if it's a negative review you go well, he didn't want that out Yeah, because he would have released it when he was alive. I mean if you're a real one though, you'll you'll attack them And you'll say this corpse This corpse he was a corpse and he raps like it Yeah, I haven't heard it and I hit Mac. It's a great send you a photo. I knew him a little he came to see three mics He did. Yeah, that was a yeah, that was a

That was a fun show I went and saw that did you really yeah, thanks for coming I saw I saw it here in New York. Yep, and I brought a girl I was dating and then she knew someone fancy there and I remember being like, I'm texting Neil, like trying to impress her and she was like, okay. She was like plugged in on a different level or she was like, cool. And I was like, Neil just texted me back in her apartment. It was one of those things where you try to impress someone and they go like, I don't

give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for anyone that comes to a show. Yeah. You watch it and all that stuff. That's like not enough sacrifice. You came. You, I, I, I fuck with you forever. Yeah. Yeah. If someone comes to see a show, yeah, these shows are so hard. You got to sell 10,000 tickets. Yeah. Cause you're doing one city. Cause you're doing, you're doing a month. Yeah, you're doing, I feel that way about it. Watches a special, if they watch my special,

like a comic, especially not good enough. Not good. No, where do you fall on? Um, when people go, yeah, I don't watch comedy. I think that's bullshit. I do too. But I also understand people that watch limited comedy. Like yeah, I'm not going to watch every special. I watched a lot of them though. But like I'll put on a special for like 10 minutes.

Get the get the vibe clean. Clean. Just just I don't want to hear any cussing. But like a tel drops a special and you're like, well I want to see that. Oh yeah, of course. Cause that's actually the thing that I do now is I won't watch those guys in the club now.

I'll just wait for the special. Yeah dude, I'm fascinated with the sibling thing. I'm gonna keep bringing it up. Please. Because 10 siblings is like, did you get hand me downs like a motherfucker? Was it all just? Yeah, I didn't. Yeah, I get hand me downs like a motherfucker? Was it all? Yeah, I didn't. Uh, yeah, I got hand me. Well, you know what happened

was my brother, my brother in law worked at the spectrum. Yeah. And then he worked at the Worcester Centrum, which was the arena. So you would go from Philly to Worcester? No, he they might like him and my sister moved up. Okay, so I would get a lot of like merch That's awesome. It was great. That's fucking crazy. Like yeah, it was great like real like Pearljam shirt. He was like the GM of the centrum. So it wasn't like he wasn't like low down Hey, so that's your older sister that's married Yeah, you're like young and you're like, because my half sister was 12 years older than me

and that's awesome because they're not even like a sibling. They're like a junior manager. They're like your parents are the management and they're like the assistant manager. You don't really gotta do that. They're not gonna know. Yeah, don't do your side work, you're fine. Don't fold napkins, you could go home.

Yeah, no catch ups. Yeah, it really is that energy. Were you close to like your oldest siblings in that kind of way? Like where they're like almost felt like well, the, my, the oldest one's 16 years older than me. So we didn't, it was more, I'd see him once a year. You just give like a, I mean he recently was like, we didn't really know each other. I was like no shit. Yeah, you were out driving. You were, I mean, he was a, he started, he was a caddy on the PGA tour. Really? Yeah. So I had years

for really anybody had a Craig Stadler. Okay. Yeah. Like he was number one on the money list. That is how much money do you make? Caddy like that back then he made 10%. I think I don't remember, but a million bucks one year. That's what I was like. That's a hundred K mind blowing. I don't know if he got temper. I can't remember if it was five or 10, but like he could have gotten, he had to like gamble upfront. Like do you want it up front or you want me to, you want to get, so it's gotta be like, wow, how good you're, how good your mid

game, your mid range game. Yeah. Let's go to the point. So your approach all right? Yeah. So he, so like I had that access, which is amazing. Yeah. And then I had Kevin access here. So did Kevin move from Philly to New York? Did you stand up?

Chicago to New York. So he, he, did he make the first move after, so after you guys left him in Philly, we dumped them in Chicago. Oh, so we dumped them in Philly. Yeah. Then he went to Chicago. I think to do follow you guys. Yeah. We followed you to do stand up. He found us is so funny. Following your family and then doing and being like, Oh, you guys live here. That's cool. Whatever I'm doing. Stand up. I'm doing a show this afternoon.

So he started in Chicago, then moved to New York. And then, so I had him and then I had another brother, Tommy, who was sort of like a little younger and he was an usher at Wrigley field and the Chicago stadium. That's amazing. It was unbelievable. So you're gonna have all these older siblings with awesome hookups. Completely. You're getting from I used to go I've been to a hundred Cubs games. That's a may not even kidding to the point where I knew all the people he worked with and I would they just open a gate for me

That's insane at Wrigley Field to the point where I brought like I don't remember who I brought like my sister's friend. They were like what is happening? I was like I don't know how old are you and this is happen ten eleven like that's that's every kid. Yeah, true. It was like a dream. So you literally have the dream of showing up and then the Chicago Stadium. Yeah and before Yeah and before Jordan again, this is a dating myself, but like I saw a white girl mistake. Michael Jordan for Orlando Woolridge. That's how long ago this was how old are you? Yeah, a girl said hey, are you Orlando Woolridge? He went no, I'm Michael literally and he said like a

bio pic. He goes no, you can callridge? He went, no, I'm Michael. Literally. And he said, like a biopic. He goes, no, you can call me his airness. Yeah. Are you, did you see the video of him? There's a great video of Jordan and his wife on vacation and they're at like a restaurant and a guy orders a bottle or like something expensive. He just drank it at one in one city. And they play the Chicago intro music for the bottle funny.

And he like, you see him look and smile and you can see him being like, you could see it move something in them. That's funny. Cause he heard that, you know, his whole career. And then he's like, Oh, okay. It's very hacky doing that. But sometimes you get the right moment. Sometimes I, there's a there. I remember reading a funny Michael Jordan story when this is twenty years ago without blowing the punch line. He was like at a bar and someone

goes like hell up like a somebody had a duke t shirt on and he was like duke baby and Michael Jordan goes. I love your lacrosse team and kept moving great. I love it. That's he's a petty guy. Yeah. I was watching, um, we were watching the NCAA tournament and Barkley was doing the halftime thing and Barkley was like being petty towards Alabama cause he went to Auburn and I was like that shit. I love that shit. You can be the biggest guy in the world and you're still, that's the point. The back half of my specials.

These people are out of their minds. Jordan Jordan is out of his mind and, but is he a good dad? I don't care. He's not my dad. And people watch, I remember the hall of specifically Jordan's hall of fame speech. And there are people that were so blown away at how insane he is and insane he was. And you go, well, he punched. How do you think he punched Steve Kerr? Didn't Steve Kerr was telling the story of how his father was murdered in Beirut and Michael Jordan punch him that he wasn't on the story, but I'm so

funny. I would have been like, dude, I thought it was cause he wasn't practicing hard. They got, they Kerr hit him first. I don't know the corner of the story. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you just hear the story that Kerr got punched in the face by Jordan cause he wasn't practicing hard enough. And when you're young, they use that story as like, that's a man that's motivated. And then when you grow up, people go like, should he have done that? And you go, but you were just telling me it like, I don't care. Yeah. He's not my, it's the joke.

I have a joke about Kevin Hart. I, I, I've been about how like, why are comedians somehow like the ethical backstop for religion and politicians and corporations. So now it's down to, so the joke is like, it comes to like a serious issue, like transgender and it's like, well, what are the clowns thing? Yeah. Why has anyone asked the clouds? Like, why is the, let's ask the guy who played Rick James. Yeah. Does anyone know what he thinks? Yeah. Why is any, why is Joe Rogan?

That's a failure way before it gets to him. Yeah. Like 10 level levels of humanity have failed before Joe has any credibility about vaccines. There would never once in school, the teacher would never go to the class clown to ask about the morale of class. He's going to fart with his under with his armpits. Yeah, I don't know, he's probably eating glue in the corner waiting for a moment to say something stupid. Joe and Dave are smart guys, but like, this, or is, I had a, literally, an electrician goes, you know Kevin Hart, is he humble?

And I was like, you're an electrician, you're not humble. Yeah, dude. Why does Kevin, it's insane. If you could fill a football stadium with people that want to watch you talk. How humble do you think you'd be? Out of curiosity. Zero. Yeah. Zero chance. I crush it. The seller and there's no talking to me. Yeah.

There's no like, Oh, you go first when you're Kevin Hart. Yeah. Like move. I'm the reason. Yes. I'm the reason everyone's here. Correct. So yeah. Or the other one is, is Ellen nice? Like she's a fucking, she's hilarious. Yeah. Ian Edwards had a funny observation she's a fucking, she's hilarious. Yeah. Ian Edwards had a funny observation is like, she's hilarious. And that's nice. That's like the Steve Harvey letter where you're like, or Stern. That was the one that we always talked about at Sirius XM Stern has this rule where, like if you walk through the hallway, you can't talk to them.

You can't look at them. And by the way, I get it because you're like the guy's done radio for 40 years. There's nothing you could say to him. That would be interesting at his level. He just wants to walk to the studio. Yep. He doesn't want to have everybody that he walks by wants to have a 20 minute conversation with him about how much he means to them or they're the reason he got, he's the reason they got into radio. They love it and Baba Bowie and he's like, I was listening to DC. Yeah.

WNBC. I just want to go to work. I just want to go to work. Yeah. And that makes complete sense. Once you think about it, once you think about like these athletes, you had a great, one of my favorite jokes of all time I think it was on three mics was when you said

You're talking about domestic violence and football and you go. Well, he just footballed at the wrong time Yeah, and that's one of my one of the best jokes about that because it's perfect. You're like, yeah You're telling there's more it's basically there's more Every I'm like everyone who's great is out of their minds like, yeah, you're telling me there's more. It's basically there's more every, I'm like, everyone who's great is out of their minds. Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Michael Phelps, uh, every gymnast, every girl gymnast, they don't grow. They are there. First of all, I believe it's a societal failure. Yes.

These girls don't menstruate for eight or nine years. And then by the way, you're going to be, uh, you're basically Italian granny height for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life, your Italian granny. Yes. And by the way, you're only getting money if you come in first and you're going to get money for six weeks. That's nuts. And then back to wherever you came from. It's insane. The insanity that people, uh, don't acknowledge upfront is what's aggravating. Cause you don't, if you acknowledged the, the, if you acknowledged the insanity of all that upfront,

that everything that followed, you'd be like of all that upfront, that everything that followed, you'd be like, well yeah, cause we said it was crazy. And they were getting molested. Yeah, by the doctor. The guy's supposed to fix them. By the doctor, and I tried this joke, I go, imagine the last ants

and Jerry Krause is molesting them. Pippen's going like, well I think I want to leave. He says I will be safe with them. Yeah, so they're all like, and I have a figure skating bit. Those girls look like... It's crazy. Hey guys, just want to let you know that this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, I'm going to tell you right now. How's your social battery been right now? Are you drained? Is your battery on empty? Is it on low?

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That's BetterHelp, H- L P.com slash soda. Well, they're in real trouble. The gymnast one that always made me laugh. And it did make me laugh, even though it's a fucked up situation was the dad and the Larry Nasser case who went after him in court. That guy, everyone. Can you imagine? Could you, would you ever be mad at your dad again after that? No. Cause you're the guy. He did it. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I in his neck. So he's doing that thing where he's like, I'll come out, but I'll be like, I love you, Dad. I love you. So when he's looking up at you, he's like, I'm trying to fucking kill the guy. Happy Father's Day. My dad wouldn't have shown up. My dad, I would have gotten molested.

My dad would have been like stirring his drink with his finger. And he'd been like, how's today? Just hearing those. Well, what happens? You guilty or what? He goes, fuck my kid. Oh, shit. All right, well, you know what? I think I could call off the poker game tonight. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you good or what? You mean you like... We didn't fuck you, you suck here or fuck you? Yeah, yeah. That's a different, those are two different... It's categorically different. It's a one or a two situation. If it's a two, I'll show up to court

and maybe try to fight the guy. Also, if you're one of her teammates and your dad doesn't go after him, do you think like they're leaving the courthouse and she's going like in the car, right back and he's like, Hey honey, what are you thinking about? And she's like, you didn't want to, you don't want to charge them at all. Yeah. That, that story there, the, that's the greatest team in American history. Yeah. I don't, I, I say that with it's incredibly set.

You can't even make a movie about it. No, it's too fucked up. It's Rocky and Paulie's molesting him. Yeah. Or, or like rock Paulie and Mickey are molesting him. You'd have been like, come here and take your shorts off. What is this? Look at this. A little Italian wiener. Yeah, you sure this gonna make me a better fighter? You're gonna be a sucking machine. Yeah, look at you. You know, you know what champions hey cut some of it He goes, you know what champions do they keep secrets rock Champions can keep a secret. He goes well, I'm not gonna betray you, Mick

Man, someone needs to write that movie. Rocky was on the last station. Yeah. Yeah man, someone needs to write that movie. Rocky was a molestation. Yeah, yes. Hey, yo, Apollo, does your guy make you feel weird at the weigh in? I'm bailing on, I'm acting like I had nothing to do with this bit. I'm all in.

I'm like, guys, I can't. I'm fucking all in. I might write this up, dude. This is like the ventriloquist, I'm like, hey, there's nice people here, Sutter. Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? All of a sudden, I'm fucking a jalapeno on a stick. And I keep, yeah, I keep setting you up somehow.

That'd be crazy. They did that in Rocky to the voice. We're like Rudy. Don't do it. Yeah, don't do it. He goes, I'll put, I'll suck for Rudy. So yeah, the data, that idea, I had a joke forever that never worked about if you aim your child abuse correctly, you'll create greatness. I mean, it's, it's the story. Spider-man or, or it's radioactive. You're either a spider-man or you got cancer. Yeah, that's it. Cause the story that I always think about is Manny Pacquiao Manny Pacquiao's

dad used to take him six years old, six years old would take him to the market and fight other kids for money. Like he'd bet on Manny to like, and you're like, that's, you know, of course he's going to win titles in four different weight divisions. Cause he's always, he has to, he has to survive by doing that. Yes. If done correctly, I don't think anyone's ever done it. You can't, I mean, you can't really plan it, but although tiger woods pretty close, I mean, Earl woods, he planned it,

Earl woods and I would say it worked and then at what cost, obviously it was worth it just for the documentary. Yeah. And by, when I say definitely the documentary, I mean Rachel Ouketel sitting into the frame at the end of part one. Yeah. Yeah. That you're like, holy shit. What am I, what's happening right now? Yeah. That, uh, that tiger documentary was in, but he's, he is exactly your joke. He is exactly your joke. That crazy is good. Yeah. That's, I have a beat about him. Yeah.

That because documentary should have been called golfing and fucking. Yeah. Cause that's all he was doing. But that's all he was around. Yeah. And it makes, I mean, dude, it makes sense when I, you know, abandoned by my dad and the only time I would see him, he'd be drinking and being funny. I grew up to be saying no more. Yeah. I'll drink and be funny. Yeah. That sounds so fun. And then people get her like, how do you, what do you think caused the alcoholism? You're like, it looked awesome. It looked awesome when I was,

when I would go visit my dad and he was a bartender and I was sitting there watching him. That's one of those things where like if I could do it, I do it. Yeah. If you know what I mean? Like I don't, I, if I could, if I could take meth safely Why wouldn't I take it's I don't think there's anything objectively wrong about methamphetamine It's just it ruins your family, but it's not destroys your life destroys everything that you care about God, which is a real testament to how great it is. But goddamn is your apartment clean? I mean at the very it's this

It's spick and span. You've literally sold everything out. Yeah, you just have nothing and all you're doing is with a toothbrush cleaning that shit. But yeah, I don't, people that like drinking, people that like doing, it's like I would do it, I just don't have the thing. And that's always something,

because I'm at like 11 years without drinking and people are like, they, I think they expect you to kind of be like it was real bad and it was like no it was just ruining my life but it was fucking fun yeah it was fun the whole time. I would eat ice cream all the time all the time if I could yeah I'm not gonna yeah it's not like I know I my body's temple no yeah and then you and it but the dichotomy of like having something fucking horrible inspire you to push you like the like the Pacquiao like Tiger Woods like any of those people it's like well there's that motivation like Barry Sanders did you watch that documentary his dad yeah his dad the whole

time would say Barry Sanders was the third best running back of all time behind Jim Brown and him in front of him he put himself in front of him. Yeah. His dad never played in the NFL. Yeah. We go, I tell Barry, I was a better running back than him all the time. It's like, well, of course, various energy. My grandfather apparently was an immigrant and not apparently like, yeah, he was an immigrant from Ireland and he had seven sons or something. And they, my dad went to law school and all that shit. And my grandfather used to say,

I got more degrees in my back pocket than you guys will ever have just like psycho shit. Yeah. Um, and then yeah, it's, that's the, that's the, I have it. The bit I do is, uh, it's like making a video game character where you get a hundred points. And what do you put it in certain people? when God was making Woody Allen, they go, how many points should we give him for comedy and film? Like he goes, fuck it. Give him a hundred. Give him a hundred. And they go, that's not going to leave any points for not fucking his family.

And God goes, yeah, but I don't know. And God's like, how bad can it get? He was like, what the fuck? Oh my God. The daughter. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. There is, you know, like, uh, and I don't, I don't know. Then there is the daughter. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. There is, you know, like, uh, and I don't, I don't know. Then there is the exception like a Steph Curry and the joke I didn't do, which is like, I'd rather watch old bowls games than new golden state games. I'd rather watch old Michael Jordan games that I've snow the outcome of than fresh golden state warrior games. Cause it's just, he's a little stable. old Michael Jordan games that I've snowed the outcome of then fresh Golden State

warrior games. Cause it's just, it's a little stable. Yeah. He's just like, Hey, he's a nice guy. Hey, this is my wife. I'm happily married. Yeah. You want to see a guy go like, I'll kill him. Yeah, I'm gonna kill him next time. There was a dunk Michael Jordan had on, I think Kendall Gill. And then he like chases him to the fucking under the stanchion and you see him like oh I'm gonna I alright I'm gonna everybody's here I can't kill him I mean Larry Bird one of his old friends and when they see he was like fuck you motherfucker fuck you bitch fuck you bitch and you're like oh there it is yeah I remember when I was you know my mom was she's a good mom

but she would say shit sometimes that you're like it's it's not it's in the vein of that or she would go like, um, just remember whatever you do in this world, there'll always be someone better at it. And you're like, well, mom would say that. Yeah. And you're like, well, all right. That's a good thing to tell a kid. I guess it's, but it worked. It worked. Cause you're like, there's a humility in a way that I think I have because of it where I'm like,

well, I'm not sure. Is that helpful? At times. At times when I'm feeling myself, it's a good way to come back down. But then I think about the other side of it of like, well, maybe that has held me back some not being like, I'm the best. Because you know, custom auto when he would train Mike Tyson, when Mike Tyson moved up state with custom auto and the Catskills, he would make Mike Tyson walk around and saying, I am the greatest fighter of all time.

He would also, he did hypnosis. Yeah. But that's like, yeah, that's where I think maybe I could have benefited more from some of that instead of being like, ah, someone's better. I mean, and sometimes when I, the, a lot of it is like if people are better at something than me, a lot of it is me going like, yeah, but, but which, but it's in some ways there's a jealousy in my butt,

not even some ways in always, always, always. And what's crazy is admitting jealousy, I think has somehow turned into this like weakness when it's an honesty that could probably help a lot of people. If you're like, yeah, I'm jealous. Cause I think everyone feels it. Yeah. I think people are jealous. I think part of the thing of like Joe and Dave and Ellen and Kevin, all these people like whole it's like, cause you're jealous that they,

it's the thing I always say about Kim and Kanye. They're doing the thing that you want to do better than you could do. Kim Kardashian is the most successful porn star of all time, of all time. There's not even a close. It's not a close by a billion dollars. Yeah. She made a billion off film and Kanye is a hundred year talent for music. It's unbelievable. So people were when they would shit on them. It's like, you're just jealous.

You want to go via what do you want it? You want her fame and you work at Chipotle. So, yeah, this bitch, even her talent. What's your talent? You go fuck on film. Why did you spend an hour yesterday opening a YouTube channel? Yeah, you saw her, ma'am. You saw a sex tape. No one's buying that. No, no one could have done what she did. No,

her sex tape was shot by her mom. That's like that. It wasn't shot by, but it was produced. That's still I look if we're going to give credit to produce the fact that Ray J is due. Ray J was the cameraman. Ray J. Ray J really did the crew part and then the star of the film. Good composition. Yeah. Lighting. I would have gone up an F stop. This is just your director. I would have gone up an F stop. I don't know. I probably would have shot. You're doing this thing.

I always think of that because I, I always wanted to do that thing where I never admitted I was jealous. And then it ended up becoming like a backend sort of backing up and it wasn't getting out of me. And it was like kind of turning toxic without going like, yeah, I'm jealous of that. If you just like kind of let it out. I think the hard part of the sort of not the silent killer, but there's like class differences in comedy and they're not necessarily money. Yeah, but there's class differences in

terms of like where you're streaming, how many tickets you're selling. Oh, for sure. Ticket sales are the number one thing. That's the class differential right there. And like it's just a little people who do arenas kind of want to just hang out with people who do arenas. Joe list had my fucking favorite line. And he said it last night at New York comedy club where he goes, I'm doing better than 99% of comics. And the 1% are my closest friends. Yeah, that drives me nuts. He's like, and you're like, yeah, there it is. There's the whole thing where you're like, and it's hard for he's like the junior, like ACE, a scooter. Hey, good job, buddy. You're just a thousand seats. That's me. Me and Joe radio. Do you do, but little buddy. Yeah. I'm surprised bird doesn't talk to me with both his hands on his knees. Like, Hey buddy. Oh, you did. You sold out.

Three actually is very good about not in like letting that sink in. Really? In my experience. Yeah. He doesn't he's the humblest person that's ever done Fenway park. It's a good point. Like it's a good point. He did Fenway. He doesn't run the light and he puts in for spots. I mean, that's amazing. Yeah. That's amazing. Putting in for spots and not running the light when you're that big. Ray Romano does that

Well, he'll call the seller and goes it cool if I do 15 minutes, Louie I remember even before he got in trouble one time Louie came to the cellar and I was about I was like either up next or two and Louie was like is it cool if I do a set and you're like Yeah, you're like one of the greatest of all time. Yeah. Go. It'd be incredible. Like I said, the seller is the only place where it's, it's the only job where you show up to do your job and your hero is sitting at your desk and you're like, Oh, well, you should probably do this. Like, I don't, I'll get to it later.

I don't know if I ever told you, sir. Chapelle went on before me. Yeah. And, and then I think already was MCing and he brought me up as a co-creator Chappelle show and I go, you know, normally that's a good credit. Yeah. Yeah. When you saw the other guy, when the other co really mean as much, you're like, you want skittles or the guy who helped create the recipe. Yeah.

This is the man who perfected the lime skittle and then the guy that bagged it. Yeah, that's fun My thing my jealousy was always like I was never in with the cool kids of comedy and by that I mean like Like the Brooklyn, you know, like yeah like a hot tub and like that. Those shows are like meltdown in L. A. Yeah, they like never fucked with me and at first I was like, you know spiteful angry. I'll show you yeah, but then when you realize it's jealousy, you go like what am I mad about like I'm mad about not getting on a show. I'll go get on another. I could still go do comedy.

It's, but it is the hard part of the job is, and the really aggravating part of being a comedian and being in the, this whatever is, uh, people you have to ask people, Hey, do you think I'm worth speaking to? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think I'm worth speaking to in public? Yeah. And sometimes they go, I don't, I don't at all. Don't care. I don't, I don't want you on my podcast. I don't want you on my TV show. I don't want you in my movie. That's all auditions. Yeah. Auditions are going like, am I worth something? And they go

not this turn around. No, say it again. No, I thought you were, but you're not. No. And that's the part that is taxes. The soul. Yes. That's the part where you kind of have to, you know what it is. That's the, but I will in your defense in my defense real quick is if I might cut you off is Yeah. Um, is, uh, longitudinally you'll come to realize that you are a good long-term stock. Yeah. In that there are a lot of the people that, you know, melt down or hot tub.

Yeah. I don't even know if some are still in comedy. Well, you know, I'm not going to name names, but I know one specifically that was like, had a lot of heat in that kind of situation and just doesn't sell tickets. And it comes back to that where they go like, well, this guy can't even do an hour on the road. Yeah. Like he's just like, cause he's so used to being like niche cool in a very small situation. Yeah. You go like, all right, well now can you do it for an hour?

And that's what I've been enjoying recently is like, huh, I'm good at this. Turns out I thought everyone was better than me. You know what it is? It's like it's restaurants, right? And you have a restaurant that doesn't get a Michelin star and you don't. But then you go like, Oh, but we're always full and people always are excited to come eat there. You know, I think about like people who work in like law firms or people who

work in offices. I do. I think about it all the time. I think about it all the time. Why? Because I think they're, I think we are not as we're not special. And so when people listen to podcasts and people are like, I don't want to hear comedy, we just have to be better than work. That's the whole podcast, especially stand up. You got to be better than like other to listen to that while in the background of the thing that they're getting through. Exactly.

This is the morphine to get you through the thing. Yes. Just like, Hey, put on a hang. We'll talk about stuff that isn't your job, but I, all this stuff to me exists. Obviously it does. We go, we're the guys who go to hang out at people's work. Yeah. Like we, and we hop on the counter and be like, what else? What's going on? Like a 90's sitcom.

What do you do? Anyway, and then we just eat an apple and you go like, huh, that's crazy. Oh, they didn't give you the, they didn't give you that project. You know what? I'm going to get out of here and you're like this, this rascal. Better help. Promo code Neil. You were just hawking. We're there working and we're just keeping them company. Yeah. Wash your asshole. And then also like this sucks, but I always think like, but I, these kinds of conversations,

I wonder if they help someone who's at a law firm or at a business and someone got a promotion and they're like feeling this, but it's never been talked about in their field where they're like, so they're supposed to keep that jealousy under wraps because maybe they think like, Oh, if I, I think it's fairly easy mindset to get in. I also think there's a thing where Drake makes you feel like you made it. Yeah. And no one understands you anymore. So here's even though you still work at a gas station, you're driving for your bonus. You got bonus. And like ever since

I got that bonus, it's, it's, it's like a high, like it, it gets you high off his confidence that you're like, I am the man, Drake. Do you think Kendrick's dis at Drake and, uh, Jay Cole, do you think that comes from jealousy? I didn't hear the dis. It was, it was an interesting thing where I clicked on the button. By the way, this is the whitest that this conversation can get. As I was talking about this subject, this is the whitest. I have a nice Kendrick thing, which is I have a ref.

I do one of his songs in my special and he cleared it. Which song? Um, a mad city. Yad, yad, yad, yad. I have like a, it's, I say it a few times and he cleared it. He cleared it, but I didn't want to pay for him, but I just wanted him to clear it. That's it. That's that's such a close credits with it, but it's too much. I mean I went through that with Jimmy Buffett on my HBO special. Why do you just ruin my story? Jimmy Buffett is the Kendrick Lamar of alcohol. Why get that on me?

Yeah. You splattered on me, but there, there's a feeling of when someone clears something, get that partition. No. So he doesn't set it up. There, uh, there's a feeling when you clear something that you go like, it's like the feeling in high school when the cute girl talked about you. Yeah. And you go like, so they know about me. Yeah. Let me get this thing.

What did they say? Like it may not have ever gotten up, but somebody cleared it. Queens of the Stone Age cleared my favorite song of all time for my HBO special, and that's what ended up getting. And in my head, I'm like, I wonder if they watched the special. I wonder if they thought it. And I'm like, no, it's a guy at a publishing company that was like, yeah, we'll do that.

We'll clear that. You know, Josh likes comedy. I mean, I'm, he's my favorite. Where they clear. No one knows. In the fade off the album, ready to arm. How much? I don't know. Interesting. HBO didn't tell me. They just were like, it's clear. We got it. But he's my favorite musician of all time. Josh, Josh Homme. Yeah. Everything he does from chaos to Queens to desert sessions. I was saying that to From Chius to Queens to Desert Sessions. I was saying that to Burr last night at the Patrice benefit. I was like, you played drums at a benefit

that Josh Homme did. Like this week, right? Like just earlier this week. And Burr was like, yeah. And he was with two of the guys from Queens of the Stone Age. He goes, technically you were in Queens of the Stone Age for a song. And he's like, nah, nah, nah.

And I was like, no, I'm counting that. I'm counting that. Yeah, Josh, those guys are great. Yeah. I'm counting that. Uh, they, yeah, Josh, they're, those guys are great. Yeah. It's, I mean that, but that's like the thought that even Kendrick watched the spec. Yeah. No, I, I wonder if he watched the clip or what the, I dealt with them a little bit in the past. He's the man. He's a fantastic. Right. Yeah. He's one of my favorite artists overall, just in general. But when he comes out with that, because you know, we're talking about,

I think it's that's, do you think it's a position? It's a weird, I think it's probably if you're him, you get tired of being lump with them and you're kind of going like, I'm better than them. Yeah. I stopped. It's that Jordan thing. Yeah. It's the Clyde Drexler is like the Dominique and Clyde fucking. What are you talking about? I'm not. Yeah. I stopped at Jordan thing. Yeah. It's the Clyde Drexler. Yeah. It was like the Dominique and Clyde fucking. What are you talking about? I'm not Jordan. I'm not Orlando Warren. That's what it is. Basically. Yeah. Which leads us to the, I mean, what a lead in a new specials out April 9th. Yeah. On Netflix. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Um,

always been one of my favorite comics to watch. You are fucking hilarious. You have joke. You don't want any of my emo shit. There isn't any. Yeah. If you don't want any of that queer emo shit I be doing, dude, I love it. I love this is like kiss wiping off the makeup. You go, no, I don't do that anymore. I got that no more DM me after he saw the show and was like, where were you? A guy was upset that I wasn't sadder. That's so so I opened the show by going like with a warning that's so far like, Hey, if you came for me to be sad, I have some bad news. I'm going to have to do that with macho man impressions.

Yeah, no macho man. I guys me talking. Yeah, I'll do other voices, but none of Randy Savage bonus footage, whatever for the Patreon. You fucking rule. Neil. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me. Yeah.