Soder - 25: Die Quickly with Mike Recine | Soder Podcast | EP 25

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

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I'll see you there, right? Right? Right? There's like a, it's weird when you get to a certain age where you start agreeing with the crime. You know, where you you're like, oh people are getting punched on their cell phones Yeah, and then you're kind of like it's fucked up. Yeah, and I will become like powerless it become older You like I could hit my head Well, here's it's it's a two-way. It's like I feel two ways about it. It's super fucked up

Yeah, I fantasize about catching the guy. Yeah, Don't you have like a real Charles Bronson moment where you're like, you have a death wish. Sure. There's moments you start understanding Bernie Gates gets a lot more. We were like, if I saw someone bullying someone on the train, now what he did was wrong. That was an interesting story though.

I mean, that was a big, because people were really divided about that. Well, I lived in Colorado, so I only heard about it years later in a 30 Rock joke. Yeah, how old was the 30 Rock? I bet it's good. It was with Dennis, Liz's ex-boyfriend pulled a guy off the tracks.

Yeah. And then Jack was having a dinner for him. And he goes, Liz, this is the biggest hero New York has had since Bernie Getz. And I was like, oh. And then I was like, oh, that's the guy who shot people on the subway, Subway Vigilante. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean was like, oh. And then I was like, oh, that's the guy who shot people on the subway, subway vigilante. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he was bad. It was, it was bad. But also at the time. I watched the documentary, it turns out he was like racist and kind of. He was racist, yeah. He was like a fucking piece of shit.

He was a piece of shit. It's just a funny reference to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also those kids were like, yeah, we were on the train because we wanted to rob people. Yeah. You know, but like, he did go a little overboard. Little much. Yeah, yeah, we were on the train because we wanted to rob people. Yeah. You know, but like he did go a little overboard, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shooting people's a little much. Yeah. But that's my whole

point of, but he, but one of them was on the ground. I think he shot him again. So that's, I don't think any of the kids died, but one was like paralyzed. Yeah. Once paralyzed. Do you imagine you're just trying to like rob some people? Do you try to commit crime with your boys? You just, what's your boys in paralyzed? You're having a summer. Yeah. Guys, let's go on a summer robbery. some people you know crime with your boys you just boys and paralyzed you're having a summer yeah this fucking nerd yeah yeah yeah yeah also it's got to be a thing where you're like oh man when he pulls out the gun and you're trying to rob them yeah damn it yeah I got real I thought this was some cuck yeah I thought

this good it really is like your go really is like when something is harder than you expect it to be, and you're like, ah, I didn't know the difficulty level was going to be this high. I'm glad you brought this up because I know a little bit about this. Yeah. And like the kids approached him and they said, hey, you got five bucks? And he goes, yeah, I got five bucks for all of you. And he starts shooting. Oh, there was a split second where all of them went, sweet. Yeah.

We're all going to get five bucks. And, we're all like hey, we're all gonna get five bucks Yeah, then they're like fuck fuck fuck. Yeah, he's that documentary I saw later He's got he's like I got some candy too And a free metro card Do you like lotto tickets? Yeah, he by the way, you spilled on your shirt I know I was yeah, but I noticed it so the people in the comments don't notice it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Right. Because that's what you gotta think. You gotta think of the future. When someone's watching this episode. Why are we on camera now? Being an audio only broadcaster was great. It was the shit. Just hearing your voice, you go,

God, nobody knows what I look like. Also. They're probably imagining like a Chad. Or me being like, hey, I'm a giant man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of being a big boy with a weird head. Yeah But the subway attacks there's like that guy right now in New York who's punching women in the head yeah, and you're like I fantasize about like

Catching him and beating the shit out of him. He's like you just want to stomp his ass out but then also you're walking up the stairs. I fantasize about catching him and like, give him a little talking to being like, Hey kid, is this what you want to do? What you're like giving him a finger to the face? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that's not okay. Yeah. And he goes, yeah, you're right.

Don't you want to go to trade school? He goes, yeah. Oh man. I didn't realize Wait a minute, you know, there's a lot of money You can learn how to build cars I'm Mike Racine for Queens Technical College But there it's like a two-way thing where you're like this guy's a piece of shit. Hi Myrtle. Myrtle loves Racine. Myrtle. Yeah Myrtle And also you're sweaty. You're basically like a giant salt lick. See Myrtle up up here You can't interrupt the podcast and not get on camera

Yeah It's so funny when you lay down when you're sweaty like if I if I'm working out at home or something they love Licking the salty sweat off your head. I always think about the Todd glass joke where he's like, oh the dogs love you You know, it's just because they love salt. He's like, okay Hey Myrtle, you can't just like chill right here. She sits here. This is how much of a spoiled dog she is She knows if she sits in front of me. I'm just gonna be like hey Myrtle. Yeah You know what's funny, dude I'm starting to like reconnect with my dog cuz we're like yeah, Frankie rules. In case you don't know Mike has a Sharpe

Sharpe pug Sharpe pug mix. Yeah, and he is I mean he's he's great But he's like great dog. He's like a designer dog that we spent a lot of money He's like a high-ass you for advice if we should buy him or not when we were buying him and you were like I love sharpies. Sharpies are great dude. Yeah yeah yeah. I love extra skin on a dog. Yeah yeah yeah. She's got a bunch of fucking neck skin that you're just like look at all this. As a dog you're like ah it's like cookie dough for dog of the dog world like look at all this shit. They're like my favorite in college there was a dog named Boyo Okay, who was a German Shepherd Sharpe mix?

That's and I was like he looked like mix a Sharpe with anything. It looks pretty yeah, they go like It's all like a long or because regular Sharpe's are a problem. Don't you like clean their folds and shit? I think so like you got to make sure they're like dry Yeah Because when we got him my aunt was like, there was a woman that I worked with and she had sharpays and she could never get them to live past like two years. And she took really good care of them.

And they would just die on her. You remember when she thinks she sucks at owning dogs? And she's like, no, dogs think it's sharpays. Yeah. Do you judge people a little bit when their dogs die early? Yeah. Yeah. But also.

There's a lot of people that that seems to happen to really there's a couple people that there's just social media. They're just always posting about their dead dead dog. Got one. It's like that South Park thing where he's like and it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you get a dog I expected to at least live ten years. Yeah. Hope. Yeah. How old's Frankie six? He's six. Yeah, it murdles four. Yeah, 10 is like baseline for me. Right, right.

Get to 10. 10 years goes by so fast. Dude, my mom's dog Riley's 17. Really? He's like 17 or 18. And it's like, now you're like, all right, that's a, that's a long, my, my dog Montana, when I was a kid lived to 13

Yeah, I thought that was good. He was a big fat. What kind of dog is all right? He was a big fat golden retriever Yeah, so I was like that was your mother have he's a Yeah, he's a golden doodle. He's a mini golden. Okay, so he's like long for a big dog though No, he's mini. Yeah, tiny. Yeah small dogs live a lot longer. They live a long long Yeah, if you get a big dog, they're gonna live short. Yeah, he's mini. He's tiny. Small dogs live a lot longer. They live a lot longer. Yeah, if you get a big dog, they're gonna live short. That's what they say about humans too, and I'm like, damn. Yeah.

Oliver was 16 when we put him down, but he was like, fine. Like the day we took him to the vet to get put down, he was like, fine. Really? He's like sitting on my lap. Yeah. He didn't see it coming?

I don't think he saw it coming. That's brutal where he's like, what are we doing? We going to the park? Yeah. We brought him to an empty room. Like there was a table with empty. Yeah, we passed you them. He's like, what the fuck?

And then it's like, yeah. Deb's slamming the phone like De Niro at the diner. She's like, no, no, no. They got him. They got him. Yeah. I can't think about, if you lose a dog. Yeah more than three times don't have a dog I know yeah, maybe get a cat even when it's one I'm like what happened what happened?

You know unless it was a tragic thing like cancer or getting hit by a car. Yeah What if it gets hit by who's who who gets their dog hit by a car? Do you know I don't know I bet there's people watching this. They're going to punch a wall here. And you say that. Yeah, it's not a thing. I don't think you I don't think you play it on. You don't play it.

I'm sure there's some kind of like mistake. Yes. There's no way to make that. Yeah, you're right. Everybody they get off the leash. You're like, no, no, no. And then you hear that fuzz and you're like, fuck. Yeah, I'm just saying I get a little

suspicious when people are posting about like their second dead dog in the course like three years. Kind of like those old tales of like the black widow, like the women that keep killing their husbands. Are you a black widow of dogs? Oh my god, Susan lost two husbands in a year. She's like, oh no, we lost my Lionel. And you're like, well how? How did he die? Yeah, I don't know. I want to get myrtle to ideally 13 or 14. Mm-hmm fucking get her to there I'll put her in a diaper the last year. I don't give a shit. That's what I were all foggy-eyed. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, my grandma my grandma would hold on to dogs. Uh-huh her one dog buddy Yeah, who had a joke about was blind and deaf. Yeah, and there came a moment Where my grandma was upstairs where I was like, should I just take this dog out? Yeah, like I genuinely had the thought of like like drop something on it. Just grab a pillow. Grab a pillow She wouldn't know. Yeah, I Know it sounds morbid. Yeah, but this dog would just walk around being like Yeah, and then it would I love dogs.. But this dog would just walk around being like, yeah. And then it would, I love dogs. Yeah. This dog would touch me and I'd be like, ah, because it was like, it had like a, the tail was like a rat tail.

And it was like, it's like spine was coming up. It was, it reminded me of the sister from pet cemetery where it was like, kill that thing. Just kill it. It's I popped out and then they took it out. So it was like, I was so, and it was like 15 yeah so you're like what do you and I was like Nana this dog yeah she was like he's fine I love him and he's like walking around yeah Deb had a friend whose dog passed away and she like let it you know she didn't take it to the vet it just like went stiff one day being a vet it just I've read it and there's like a high suicide rate

among like vets. I'm gonna Google that. But I'm pretty sure, yeah dude, when you're putting animals down, you're putting people's best friends down all the time. I bet you're like, yeah. Because when you picture putting a dog down in your mind, the dog is like so sick, you know,

that like it can barely move. Yeah, you want it to be like. Because when my grandfather passed away, it was just, he was just in a hospital bed until the numbers went down to like, like I imagine putting a dog down is like you're carrying it and it's limp. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

How do you spell veterinarian? V E. Oh boy. This is fun. Oh boy. This will be, this is a, this is a new segment. This is a new segment on my podcast called why comedians shouldn't be in the regular workforce. Oh boy V etri and a are I an veterinarian?

And final answer Veterinarian suicide rate is a crazy because by the, it just said vet. No, you know, cause veteran, by the way, that's very high. Wow. Well nine veterinarians every hour commit suicide. I just heard the wrong stat. Oh shit. Oh my God. Between 1979 and 2015, this is just Google. According to data from the U S CDC national center, nearly 400 veterinarians died by suicide. Oh, that's not a lot.

In a year. Oh, all right. Occupational stressors like burnout and compassion, fatigue access to euthanasia, uh, euthanasia drugs. Yeah, cause if dude, you put yourself to sleep. Compassion fatigue, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is, you're watching pets to people are the most important thing. So you're watching on a daily basis,

you have to, it's like assisted suicide. If you were killing people's family members, like putting down people's family, which by the way, let me say this. It's kind of what hospice is. These people that work in hospice, like that's a tough fucking job. Because they-

Until it's not. Until you have compassion fatigue? What is compassion? I imagine you just don't have it anymore. I think it's just kind of like you become apathetic. You just kind of become like, well, this is like what we have to do. Yeah.

You become a motherfucking G. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You become cold. You just become Ivan Drago. You're like, if she does, she does. But my grandma, you know, she was 97 and she started having kidney failure. And I talked to the doctor and the doctor's like,

she's having renal failure. It's like gonna happen. Do you want to put her on dialysis? And I was like, I don't know. What do you think? He's like, nah. But he really hit me with like a quick, like, yeah, I don't know. Maybe we just let maybe he's let her go. Yeah. And you're like, damn, that's dark. Yeah. But the dude, I could have honestly, in my head, I was on the phone with him.

Yeah. I could have just seen him eating a sandwich and like putting it down and be like, yeah I'd let her go. Yeah, but you remember that episode of Rugrats where they lose spike and they go to the dog catcher and then He's like I'll let you know if he turns up and they leave and he's like why do I have to care so much? Yeah, yeah, but that's I mean I would I imagine being a veterinarian you care a lot Yeah, you care so much that you're like Shit. Yeah, it's your best friend. You're like watching people real I do when this fatso goes. I'm gonna be a mess Yeah, I'm gonna be a mess for a while. Yeah, Katie and I are gonna be inconsolable for like a week I know I'll probably start doing heroin. Yeah, cuz with my kid I get a lot of like, you know, I don't want you

I want mommy no like, you know, I don't want you. I want mommy, no daddy, you know, kind of easier where if you're like, Hey, yeah, you get put in a sex trade. You end up in a daddy now. You end up at a ditty party. Who's better than daddy. Now that you're on the boat from taken, you want daddy now. That's so funny where he goes, do you remember when you said you liked your mother more? I remember I remember a three-year-old girl that said I want mommy mommy not daddy. Here's your mother Yeah, you want your bitch mom now don't you Just kidding, sweetheart. Just kidding. You're gonna be be taken I'll rip through the Armenian mob or whatever they are yeah it's I mean dude the thought of having to consistently watch people go through that and you're

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for 10% off your first purchase. Like all this stuff where you're kind of like, do you think the more you're exposed, I mean, it's what it is. The more you're exposed to it. Yeah. Do you think there's higher school shootings because of videos like faces of death and all that stuff like kids?

I don't think no one's really watching that anymore, right? Yeah, but now they see way more fucked up shit. Yeah Experts troubled by kit Canada's euthanasia laws They have a history of depression but none life-threatening was hospitalized Over fears, he might be suicidal. He asked his brother to bust him out within a month Nicholas submitted our quest to be euthanized and he was killed. Oh Yeah, you can just Well, they have those death pods now Yeah, but that's like I'm kind of down with that for certain people that are in extreme

As long as it's not like super lenient. He can't be like I lost my job. Yeah, or you're like the Niners lost the Super Bowl. Yeah, do me in yeah Hey, can you finish me off? Dude? This is a crazy one. I was just telling Mike about There was a guy in South America who got caught with a bunch of exotic animals, tarantulas, ferrets, like all the shit he wasn't supposed to have. But he also had a bunch of snakes and they were like, going to put them in prison for over 25 years. He like knew he was going to get a massive prison sentence. They arrest him. And then he goes, hey, can you can I at least go feed my snakes

before you take me to jail? And the cops were like, sure. And they took the handcuffs off and he put his arms in the cage and had his cobras bite him. And he killed himself with Cobra venom. Which by the way, 12 hours. It's funny, you said cobras. I thought you were going to say like anacondas or like, what's the snake that swallows you? Oh yeah. He's like,

you see a thumbs up in the middle of his, or a middle finger. Oh yeah. He's like, bruh, bruh. Then he pulls his snake. Slowly. They're like, ah, fuck. You see a thumbs up in the middle of his, or a middle finger. He's like, suck my dick off. Snap out of his snake. And the snake's like, ah, ah.

It's gotta be, do you ever. He's like, bye bye sucker. It looks to me like I'm going to die. It looks to me like I'm going to die. It looks to me like I'm going to die. Yeah. You wonder if,

do you think anacondas are self-conscious about the way they eat? Where like if someone's watching them, they're like, can you please not watch? Don't look at me, please. Wait, so snakes, they're either venomous, they'll swallow you or they strangle you? Or they're just slippery. No, because... Or they're slippery quick little motherfuckers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's probably one of the most clever ways to kill yourself. Yeah. It's like death by cop. Cause who haven't, I mean, who hasn't thought about the death of my car. If you're facing like over five, 10 years in prison, you go like, yeah, do I pull out the the do I pull the fake gun and pop pop pop pop pop but death by a Cobra mm-hmm pretty maybe my family gets a little money because they're like another another person of color murdered by the police

I want you to know he was also southern Italian. Who's like Italian Al Sharpton? Is there one? I don't know. They need one. Salino and Barnes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Salino dead or is Barnes dead? Barnes is dead.

He died in a plane crash. Damn, really? Yeah. They gotta sue that company. When you look at the- Because they're injury attorneys. Yeah, when you look at the list and you go, Oh, shit.

Fuck. Rich Barnes? Yeah and you go, not Barnes from it's not plane crash attorney. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to go to prison for 25 years, clever ways to have a snake bite you. But why do you get thrown in jail for 25 years? Because you love animals. I mean, that's the only time I'm like a libertarian when I think it's because you know, all those animals are very dangerous Yeah, I think that's like you because he had like an alligator. I have the article right here

Yeah, the guy had like an alligator because in Tiger King There's this there's a shot where like there's a little wiener dog walking around near the tiger. I mean, but that whole documentary. What the hell's going on here? So I guess you're getting enough Lunchables from Walmart. He had been under investigation for burglary and theft and then they searched his home. Burglary and theft. And they, oh, illegal activities involving exotic animals.

This is in South Africa. Oh, South Africa. fucking him. I guess you South Africa. She used fucking him I don't know what what other illegal things you do with I don't know, but I don't know why you think it's just fucking I don't know. He's like this guy's fucking snake Also, you get like a snake job. I wonder if a python rips, like wraps around, you go like, oh, you're tight. Oh, you're so fucking tight. And then you're like, oh, oh, oh. So a source close to the investigation said

the guy knew the offenses he'd be charged with would be much more serious that many of the snakes and animals he had could put him behind bars for 25 years. You might if I'll feed my snakes and they're like, Hey, no problem. I can't see what's wrong with it. And he's like, feast. How do you use like piss off your snake? Fuck you. And he's like, yeah. And you're like, thank you. Yeah.

But dude, 12 hours, just some kind of slur for snakes. Yeah. Yeah. You fucking little lizard bitch And he's like don't call me that he's 28. He got bitten by his own snakes And they they said it took 12 hours 12 hours for him to die. Oh, they also found that he had over 60 snakes along with a crocodile Now that's the way to go. Yeah, have a crocodile kill you. Jump in and be like, do me in. He won't eat unless I put my head in his mouth. Oh, sorry, real quick. I think just go give him a kiss on the cheek.

Does the does the fucking spin? Yeah. Death roll. He really likes when I pinch his penis a little bit. I don't worry. Before I go, do you mind if I give me crocodile a little blowy on his wiener? He had tarantulas, hedgehogs, and ferrets. Okay, ferrets, that's kind of a wild card. Yeah, that one might be the sexual one. It's a little tapped on, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hedgehogs, you wonder if they're watching,

and they're like, what's this guy doing? Yeah. Where's he going, why's he going over this thing? Oh God. Yeah. Dude, 12 hours. My kid at his preschool, They had a zoo guy come in He had a hedgehog a tortoise and a wallaby with her baby. That was pretty cool. That is cool Yeah, what a day for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did he come home? Just jazz. I was there

I was I got to see it was like orientation. Yeah, yeah sitting cross-legged with all the kids Yeah, they're like, are you a student here? Oh, that's the one I identify as a Yeah, are you a student here? But you only do it to get into the zoo And fin cheaper movie tickets. Yeah, you got what kids prices kids eat free Yeah, that if I as a good the wallaby came out of the little cage And I went what and I was like the only person that made noise Cuz I thought all the kids I Thought all the kids were gonna go. Wow

Did any of the parents look at you like chill dude, no really parents. Okay. Yeah Yeah, everybody's pretty like impressed, you know, yeah, but I'm not vocal but the kids were like, whoa Yeah, everybody's pretty like impressed, you know, yeah, but I'm not vocal but the kids were like, they were like very Yeah, very funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're like Yeah, oh man did you get to hold it no But you know, they have like long tails So the guy was like it's safe cuz I'm just holding her by her tail, but she had her baby weather. It's like, you don't want to, you know, mess with that thing. Yeah. When she's got the baby, any animal. Yeah.

When I moved to Alaska for the summer, when I was 19, they were like, Hey, just let you know, moose. There's like a lot of moose around. That's cool. Like make sure you never get in between a moose and their yearling sure or they'll fucking Destroy you because moose can kick forward. Did you know that like they can like, you know horses can only horses and donkeys can only Kick backwards moose can like They can fuck your shit up. Okay, so they were like they can van damn you. Yeah. Yeah Steven Seagal your ass. Yeah, but they were like, don't get in between them.

And I was like, like I was going to, I'm not going to, I'm not an idiot. Right. Right. But they were like, if you see a moose, make sure you just don't walk in that path. Yeah. Like in between them cause they'll fuck your shit up. Okay. Cause that would be getting killed by a wild animal. It's gotta be a slow death. You're just like, there's a moment where you're laying there

and you go like, fuck. What? Yeah. Why? Yeah. Why did I get in? We're getting fed to a lion. I bet you're like, I hope it's quick.

Yeah, just bite my neck first. Bite my neck, yeah. You don't want them to start with a leg. No. And then work their way up. Yeah. Imagine if they started at the bottom and you gotta feel them chew your dick off.

And then you're like, oh, oh, it was like bleeding out. But as they're biting your dick off in the back of your head, you're like, maybe I'll survive. Yeah. Maybe I'll survive. All right, can I live without a dick? Yeah. I'm like, no.

You start imagining it. I can live. I could be a half person without a dick. Because surviving would be the worst. Yeah. Dying by an attack like that. Mm-hmm. Your friends have a cool story Yeah, you know Mike got eaten by a lion. Yeah in your son. Yeah, your son grows up Becomes like a big game hunter. Yeah That's the only way I'll excuse big game hunting

If some yeah one of your friends got killed if you're like, I lost a friend in a safari and a giraffe today, but you talk about like, you were just talking about clips online. Yeah. Like it kind of doles your emotions towards a thing. Yeah. Someone on Twitter just put a video up of an elephant stomping out a whole safari and you like see him filming the elephant. The elephant like runs along and then just turns and comes and plows over this Jeep

and just starts stomping on people. And you're like, I don't need to watch this. I don't need to watch people. It's also crazy to think you're filming and you're like, oh, we're safe in the Jeep. But at the end, if you get tossed from the Jeep and you're like filming it, like how do they get the footage? You're like, oh, I gotta capture this. Oh, the footage was from inside the Jeep. But at the end, if you get tossed from the Jeep and you're like filming it, like how do they get the footage?

Yeah. You're like, oh, I gotta, I gotta capture this. Oh, the footage was from inside the Jeep? Yeah. Oh boy. They're like filming it and they're like, I was like two elderly people and another guy and they were like, it just stomped them out.

But they only attack you if they're like mad at you, right? Like if you, if you fuck with them. How do we know? Yeah, I don't know. How does anyone know that? Elephants like, dude, you don't fucking know me. Yeah. If I were an animal, I would we know? Yeah, I don't know. How does anyone know that elephants like dude? You don't fucking know me. Yeah, if I were an animal I would take such offense to that. Yeah, I'm like, oh is that my trait? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you get shitty with an ex

You know like when a girlfriend's like you always do that. You're like do I oh yeah Animals are like those zoologists. Yeah, like oh is that my young migration pattern you bitch yeah I'd get mad I'd be the I would attack if I were an animal yeah animals that attack I get it I'm not I ain't mad at it yeah dude orcas all that shit mm-hmm it's like when an animal attacks you're like good for you okay yeah you earn that I know we're so arrogant yeah yeah we put a we put a little be by its tail. That's what I mean Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah a wallaby by its tail with its kid in the room. Yeah If a big animal came in and held you back by your hair, yeah, and and Ben was just chilling

Yeah, you'd be like do you come on not my kid? Yeah, just holding its tail. It's like, what are you fucking doing back there? Yeah, I did imagine that guy putting all his animals in like an Uber XL. Putting on quiet preferred insane animal. He's like, sorry, I don't need you talking. Yeah. I got some wild ones. Yeah. I mean, what are you like? I'm not a mover. Yeah. Stop it. I'm not. I'm not Steve Irwin. He died for a man. Yes, stop it. I'm not I'm not Steve Irwin. He died from animal gotta watch that norm joke the other day about Steve Irwin dying and he's like, you know who was mad about that crocodiles

He's like it wasn't even he's like you hear the crocodile hunter died and they're like who got him Steve? He goes no some fruity So what some fruity stingrays? Okay. Yeah, you diduity stingrays. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You did it on the day. I saw the clip of him on the daily show doing it. Yeah. But yeah, man, if you get killed by an animal. I like when it tells goes, I think the crocodiles put a hit on them. So they used the stingray, the Puerto Rican of the sea.

Yeah. It's one of my favorite lines. The Puerto Rican of the sea. Yeah, man. I, if an animal attacks you, it's first, that's sad. Second, what did you do? What did you do, yeah. Did you do something? Because I heard a story, there was a lady

that got attacked by an elephant, I think, in India. But I think what happened was the woman threw rocks at the mother so the poachers could steal the baby. So then the elephant came back killed her and then came back to her funeral I didn't know it was cuz she was trying to get that I heard I mean that is the better that's what I want to believe yeah don't they say you know memory like an elephant yeah so it makes sense if an elephant's like forget yeah yeah yeah yeah when's your service yeah yeah yeah but also

imagine you're throwing rocks at an elephant so poach Oh yeah? I don't remember that. When's your service? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also. Imagine you're throwing rocks at an elephant so Poachers can steal its baby and you're like, she'll forget this in a couple weeks. She ain't even gonna remember I did this. And then she's like, not only that, I'm gonna ruin your family grieving for you. It would be crazy though when you're like,

sitting there crying at a funeral and you're like, she loved spring. And then you're like, she loved spring. And you're like, couldn't be. Yeah. Couldn't be. Just coming in like stone cold. Just kicks everyone's ass. And then leaves.

And then you're sitting around eating and you're like, that was pretty crazy, huh? I would want to tell everybody I knew. Yeah. That's like, if you weren't close to her. Well, that's your new grandma, the elephant's your new grandma. Yeah. You're like, well, you're now the matriarch of the family. Yeah. That would be so cool.

Yeah. It would be really cool. That's my grandma elephant. You have to respect it. She killed my human grandma and then stormed the funeral, which is nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah animals attacking trainers mm-hmm always thumbs up you think See, I feel bad for those trainers because it's always like the trainers are always like I

Dedicated my life to these animals and I love them and it's like don't don't be sad if they if they kill me Yeah, but do you think sometimes they kill me. Yeah, but it's- Do you think sometimes they get a little out of line? I think it's what you were saying with the Wallaby. It's the arrogance of humanity to go, we've captured you, now be cool about it. It's like, I don't get mad when there's a prison revolt. When there's like a prison riot, you're like,

yeah, probably, if I was locked up and I saw an opportunity to fuck some shit up, I'd do that. Yeah. So it's like when you're in a zoo, people do the same thing when they like, cause sometimes you'll hear about pitbulls, like just turning on their owners after, you know, a decade and a half. Or like, I heard a story like that. Where I hope the owner was doing something. Cause if a pitbull is just turning like that, you're like, damn, I wouldn't have a pitbull. Yeah. But pitbull owners just turning like that, you're like, damn, I wouldn't have a pit bull.

But pit bull owners are always like, they're very sweet, they're always nice. So I bet it is, I bet it's something. I mean, this fatso would turn on me the second I don't give her the T words. T-R-E-A-T-S. We can't say it, because my fat dog goes nuts. She really, it's one of the only things,

I say sit and she's like, I don't know what that means. I said the T word and she's like, are we doing this? But yeah, you worry about a dog like that that's like crazy muscular and powerful. It's like, I don't know. I'd be like being a small woman dating a big strong man. Where you're like, you could flip on me. Like dating an MMA fighter. Where you're like, you could flip on me. Like dating an MMA fighter.

Yeah. Where you're like, at any moment. Cause what other animal has delts? None. Dude, they're so jacked. I think that you- They have front delts. Who's the two most jacked animals?

I'd probably say pit bulls. I think it's pit bulls and the- Kangaroos. Are they? Kangaroos, when they stand up like that. Mm-hmm. And you see their pets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're like, damn, you're kind of fucking, you're brawling, dude. But yeah, you're right. Like the way that Pipples, just Rottweilers, they got muscles. Outside of dog, gorillas, obviously. Gorillas, I would say are probably the most jam. I feel like a walrus would fuck you up.

Yeah, walrus has got like defensive lineman strength. Where there's like, oh! And it's like, oh! Like one shot. Fuck you up. Yeah walrus has got like defensive lineman strength. Yeah That would be the quickest death the walrus killed and you're just here Yeah, your head's done. Yeah. Yeah walrus I feel like it would be like fighting butter bean where you're like you want to take it to a late round Okay, you want to keep them in arms? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, keep checking them. Yeah and move Yeah, cuz you're right one power shot Yeah, what else hopefully you have a gun? But if you have a gun that what if like imagine the bullish is better a lot of lard, dude

Yeah, shoot him and it might stick in like that's like yeah. Yeah, don't worry permanent Kevlar. It's like shooting Darth Vader Yeah, there's a pink I'm telling you, the scariest thought, and I've had this nightmare, and this is like, whenever I have this thought, a little bit of fear bubbles up in me, falling into the water with an animal like a shark or an alligator or even a walrus.

I'm not really scared of sharks. What? I thought you, I heard you just punch him in the nose and that's it How much that's easier said than sure sure sure sure that's like That's like, you know that reminds me of that's like the sea version of when someone shows you taking a gun from someone Sure, you go. Oh, yeah With no adrenaline and you're like teaching me. I'm sure I could like the thought of punching a shark There's plenty animals I'm scared of but all my life

I've heard if you punched in the nose it swims away, but yes What if you miss? Yeah, you're I mean also, how do you punch when you're in the water? It's all slow and it's like myrtle's got thought you gotta punch down to the did you hear me say t-word? She's stretching. She's like, you know what my fat ass could do with another stop licking his leg She's like, you know what my fat ass could do with another stop licking his leg because it's sweaty. Guys call them what you want. You know you can call them your boys or your your what do they call them knee knockers? Never call them that golden nuggets.

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That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code SOTAR at manscaped.com. For the best your boys have ever looked, trust Manscaped. you're a wild one We always we I'm afraid of like the deep ocean though You know like a lot of my tick-tock is like deep ocean facts Oh where they do that that uh or like the waves yeah, you know what they show the waves And now they put that that song that goes

Dude Katie has a legitimate fear of like we talked about it on the Nebraska podcast that we're putting out But she has a legitimate fear of like large Objects underwater. Yeah, like turbines and shit underwater. Okay, and that song freaks her out So when you go is very oh I'll do it. She'll be like, hey, don't do that You know when you're joking around someone they go. Hey, I'm being serious. Please. Stop doing that. That's for her Yeah, where I go like bro She's like I hate that shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah being deep deep underwater. Mm-hmm, but that's what I mean with the shark

I think about like Walking along the dock and falling into water with like an alligator like that thought yeah fear of like Like yeah, be scared shit. Cuz how do you that grip that great? It just takes you also there. That's where they live like they're fast. Yeah Fuck there was an alligator that it was in this this woman's like senior community in the pond in her senior community and it went after her dog and she Got in between it and the alligator like pulled her underwater and drowned her and then he started cashing her social security checks Who did oh the alligator alligator's like yeah, it shows it's like a little red riding hood

That's fucking wild that's like honestly those sign as a. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that was fucking wild. That's like, honestly though. Small sign. As a grandma that just died of acute renal failure, I would rather a croc daughter. Yeah? Yeah, if they would've called you and been like. I don't wanna drown though, you know?

I'm saying as a family member. Yeah. To get that call and to go, your nana died by an alligator. I'd be like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Instead of like something regular. Yeah, I just really don't want to drown or suffocate. Yeah, that's gotta be tough.

It's gotta suck. I think about that with avalanches, where you just like turn around and you're like, and I'm done. Cause you want to die on impact. You want to die on impact. Those are the two best case scenarios. If you're gonna die naturally in your sleep,

if you're gonna die unnaturally, die on. Uh-huh not like sitting there having to think Yeah in rubble being like See, I feel like I prefer a car accident to dying in my sleep Cuz the car accident it's like as long as it's quick sleep though. You don't even know but sleep you go But sleep you got to go to bed every like imagine your grandmother going to bed every night thinking like I wonder But that's what I'm saying. I think it happens in your sleep. You don't know. Yeah, you just go like yeah tomorrow I gotta go to the cleaners. I gotta go to the grocery store Then you go and then you're talking to your dad. Mm-hmm

You know, you're like hanging out with your uncle who you lost when you were a kid. Yeah, what are you doing here? Yeah, you're dead. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, you just transition way easy You just go from being alive to dead without a thought. Okay Yeah car accident. You're like Like, you know, there's that moment you go fuck yeah, and then it's over I wouldn't mind that yeah Oh shit see a boulder coming at you. No, I just don't want anyone to like find my body Well, that's gonna happen regardless. Yeah, unless you die. Well, I hope it's like an EMT or something. Unless you, Myrtle. Hey. Myrtle. I don't want my wife to come home from work and I'm like brutally, there's blood all over our apartment.

That's what I don't want. If a crocodile got into your house, and she's like, hey Mike, ah, there's stuff. And it's just in there, like, doing that whole wide jump. But at least she knows what happened. Yeah. That might be better than like a person coming into my house. Yeah, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, I would, I had a, if you've ever had a friend get murdered, you're kind of like, you feel bad for whoever discovered them. Yeah. Cause you're like, damn dude. Yeah. Someone like just walked in,

cause I would absolutely be the kind of guy that's having a conversation and then sees it Where I go anyways, they're kind of out of oh shit I know if I discovered a dead person. Yeah, it'd be me talking being like it's pretty cool Cody Rhodes won the title off. Oh, no It's just blood everyone. I've only gotten phone calls of people that have died. Uh-huh, which is that got murdered? Yeah, yeah, that's like preferable. Yeah, that's the that's the preferred way. Yeah, this is someone going hey sit down So it's all got murdered. Yeah, like yeah instead of finding it. Yeah, I don't know. This got dark

This whole episode's been yeah, super morbid. Yeah, we should save. We should go back to putting Halloween. Well, because there was another, I mean, it's like that guy killed himself with his, with his snakes. That is a form of insanity to be like, I would rather die. Cause what happened is he knew in South Africa, there was no anti-venom for the snakes that he had, because it was like such a Random is that a quick death though 12 hours. Okay 12 hours. He suffered That's he suffered. Yeah

See, I don't want to be the dumbest way to kill yourself as far as probably throwing up. You're nauseous I don't want to be nauseous when I know, you know, there's no relief coming. Yeah. Yeah, just like And you know there's no relief coming? You're just like, oh, take me. Ah! Any other way, like I'm a bitch when I'm sick. I can't imagine having spitting cobra venom in me. Yeah, no. Oh, and you're just like laying there like,

and then the sweet relief is death? No, you want it quick. Absolutely the name of this episode's Quick Death. There's no way we can call it anything else Well, dude, I do there's another article about this woman in Florida Got an AR 15 and a gun and just went on the highway and started shooting people She said God told her to do it eclipse and the eclipse. Yeah, she blamed God and the eclipse which are kind of like Not really consistent. Yeah, what is it? Is it the maker or was it the Sun getting covered up?

Yeah, but the craziest part of the story is I read she was at a home killing people because of climate change Did they go and and God and they go and God? Yeah, and she was mostly climate change But to say you did it here. I've your car, to say you did it because of the eclipse is like, no you're not, you just wanted to kill people. You just wanted to kill people and you were like, what's going on today? Oh, there's an eclipse? Yeah, a woman aiming at cars during solar eclipse shooting,

Spree said, God made me do it. It was during the eclipse, which has gotta be crazy. You're just driving and you're like, hey look at the eclipse, somebody shoot at me? I'm surprised nobody got punched in the head during the eclipse which is gotta be crazy. You're just driving and you're like, hey, look at the Me I'm surprised to make a punch in the head during the eclipse. Oh, hey, everybody's like looks at acted. Yeah Yeah, that guy probably was like on his meds that day. Yeah, whoever's been doing that in the subway Yeah, cuz I will say and this is the original point I was gonna make When you ride the subway a lot, yeah, and you're stuck behind someone on their phone walking up the stairs. You want to punch them in the head.

You want to punch them in the head. You just don't do it. There's so many people that I could punch in the head every single day. Every day. You start doing tallies. Welcome to New York. Boom! Bang, bong, bong. Bing, bong. That's the New York New Bing Bong. You're on your phone. Bing, bong. But if you're a dude punching chicks in the head, you're a pussy Yeah, you're a giant. Oh, you're fighting the smaller weaker Yeah, be it like if I find out like he was he was doing it to like bigger guys. You're almost like yeah

Changes the way I look at the whole situation. Yeah, small women. You're like you fucking pussy. Yeah giant, dude He's like damn. Why don't you answer your phone? Scared to take it out? Cause there's a guy clocking motherfuckers. He wants some. He wants, he's like, I want to challenge. Yeah. Yeah. But this lady that shot the people on the highway back to her, she was staying at a hotel and she just told the hotel staff she was going to do it. She reportedly told the staff at the local hotel She was going on a shooting spree, which I wonder if that was like concierge energy where they go. Okay

Well breakfast is six to ten Don't forget internet is complementary If you make it back, yeah. Yeah, I mean that's like telling you need your key card to get back in the building after 10 p.m Okay, great. We do not validate parking. Yeah, so just so you know, but saying something like that Mm-hmm. There has to be so many of those people but people go to hotels to do weird stuff I feel like I think that's the only reason you're there traveling or doing weird stuff. Yeah, that's the only reason you're at a hotel It's got to be like it's half and half Right traveling versus weird. What is it? Yeah, if I worked at a hotel, it might be fifty five forty five. Is that why they asked five weird stuff?

What are you in town for pleasure? Yeah, yeah. It's her pleasure and they go. Yeah, depends. Yeah, that's how you look at it. Yeah, kind of a little business, but more pleasure here for business. Are you gonna burn your testicles with a hot plate? You're hiring a lady to beat the shit out of you in your room That's gotta be man when you're a when you're a hotel maids nice or dressing up like Anakin Skywalker. Yeah This is our Ninja Turtle orgy Turtle themed orgy you're're going to want the shredder suite. You're going to want the sewer suite.

It looks like a sewer. Yeah. Yeah, that's being a hotel maid opening the door. You got to see a different side of humanity. Please let it be normal. I can't think about my hotels. I always throw away the soap that I'll use in the trash can cause I don't want,

I feel bad having like some Guatemalan immigrant. Sure. Having to touch the soap that I wash my hands with all weekend. So I'm like put it in a Kleenex, but then also I was jerking off in that hotel room all weekend. That has to be like, you want to talk about compassion fatigue. Yeah. They have to be like, you want to talk about compassion fatigue. Yeah. They have to be like, so what? Yeah.

I'm wearing gloves. Come come doesn't phase them. The smell of come, they're like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. The business baby. Yeah. When I worked at got junk, we did a clean out one time, an apartment clean out. And in one of the rooms, there was like some, there was a lot of, there was a

lot of, there was a lot of doodoo on the stuff we were cleaning up you're not supposed to like you're supposed to get a hazmat team in there to do it you know so we like complained and everything and wait what I bet there was a doo doo everywhere on the floor somebody died in the apartment we had to like clean it out there were like towels and stuff where there was yeah so someone there was some duty yeah and then their body let go I think so there was like a hospital bed in the room. There was like here. They're like towels with shit on them And I was like, yeah, we can't we need a hazmat team

Yeah, but the guy was like the super of the building was like, alright I sent my guys up there and they bagged up the stuff that you didn't want to touch so he found like some guys to He said go there bag it up and they're like stuff that you didn't want to touch. So he found like some guys to do it. He said, go in there, bag it up, and they're like, yeah, all right. All right. Yeah.

I walked 700 miles from Central America to get here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I'll clean up a dead guy's shit. There's this white guy, doesn't want to do it. Yeah, yeah. You're like, eww, I'm here to move the dresser. No, I only do couches and dressers, not doodoo. That's fucking wild.

What was the craziest shit you found cleaning someone's apartment? I mean, it was probably that. It's pretty, I don't know, it's pretty normal. The weirdest jobs were like, not jobs like that, but jobs where someone passes away and it just, it looks like this. Everything's pretty orderly.

And you just take their stuff and you throw it in the in the trash Did you ever keep any of it? Yeah, it's not here in there. No some stuff here in there, but yeah But I mean you but you you can you certainly can because it all goes to the dump Yeah, so you're just putting it in a landfill. Yeah, I did throw out a couch one time that I still kind of regret It was very nice couch. It's the one that got away. It's the couch that got away. Yeah Yeah, it was like embroidered had like embroidery on it was very nice laying on had like it was like a beige couch

We're like embroidered leaves on it. It's clearly a very nice a beautiful couch and they were dead I don't know if they were dead or not. They just they just left. So my my grandma's Townhouse. Yeah, my cousin and I went to throw in someone's life in the in the trash what it is We left. Yeah, I'll show you a picture of it. Yeah, we cousin and I went to... You're just throwing someone's life in the trash. That's what it is. We left. Yeah. I'll show you a picture of it. Yeah. We left and it was kind of like that's the part that made me sad because I've been dealing with her dying. Yeah. Like the part that made me sad was like, oh I used to like come here as a kid. Yeah. And now it's just this like abandoned... You got to sell the house or whatever. Well the banks foreclosing on it, but that was all the stuff we left behind Yeah, no, and it's very like it's very orderly. Yeah, like I'll send it so you could put it

We'll put it right there. Yeah, you can see yeah, and if you live in Lake County break in and sleep there There's a bed upstairs. It's still good subscribe to patreon to see my grandmother's Want a hot take on my dead man is place. Yeah. Yeah, but you see what I mean? Like you must have been very clean. She was very clear Yeah, but at the end I mean like all those boxes and stuff is stuff that we took Yeah But like the painting there was stuff that we just left on the walls because the banks foreclosing on it So it's no one's no one's keeping the house. Yeah, and that was my thought is like well

Why am I gonna clean this place out? Yeah. Yeah, Have the fucking bank hire guys like you to come in and just yeah. Just give my number if you want. Fly to California dude. Yeah yeah. I go I'm bringing in a guy. You're like Winston the wolf. Yeah yeah yeah. But just with dead people. Just with contractor bags. You go I clean like I drive. I'm wearing a tuxedo for some reason. I don't know why it does, it just works better. Would you like to get breakfast? Yeah, it's nuts, man. When people die, you don't really think about

all the stuff that they just leave behind. Cause everyone's got, I'm not trying to do a Carlin bit, but everyone's just got stuff. Everyone's got stuff. And then like, that doesn't all go to your family. No, of course not. It goes to a landfill. We took a U-Haul amount of stuff

and we were like, for the rest of it, we're like, I don't know. Leave it, I guess. But it felt weird. I've been thinking about that. It felt weird leaving stuff behind. What's so funny is they're gonna clean out the picture. But then where's it gonna go?

You take the, when my grandmother passed away, my cousins went to her house and all her clothes were still in there. Yeah, yeah the stuff She like wore to church and it probably smelled like her and exactly, you know, yeah Like there's like a cat sweater that my grandma used to wear all the time and I know it's hanging up in her apartment That's what are you in her townhouse? Yeah, but it's also funny to think they're gonna go in a guest room And there's gonna be my senior photo

Just like chillin on the wall. I just wonder if anyone You know the egomaniac in me wonders if there's anyone that's gonna go to go set the answer. Yeah Well, they're just like cleaning out this place. Yeah We're sick as podcast. Yeah. Yeah, you had a dark one about people dying the other day and here I am Yeah bagging up his name is shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but you don't keep it. Yeah. No, you can't keep it You gotta you gotta just take a couple things and yeah and let it go You gotta you gotta like I guess just find a way to detach yourself from it You gotta think like she wouldn't want me to hold on to this stuff, you know

I don't think I would want I wouldn't want anyone to hold on to my shit when I died I think that's one of the most unrealistic thing about Apocalypse movies is there's not a ton of stuff around. Cause if, if there was like a mass extinction event that wasn't like a nuke that fucking cleaned everything out, but like a virus that killed everybody, there'd be so much Calvin and Hobbs, far side books and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Macho man, action figures. And you'd be like, well, yeah, I don't know. I guess I'll take this. Yeah. I don't know. It's weird though. Cause now that you can't buy media now that all media is like downloadable and shit it will

Like your son's not gonna your son's gonna deal with less of that Yeah, then our generation did like my grandma's from the Great Depression. So everything she held on to fucking everything Yeah, but Ben and Ben's kids, like your grandkids, are gonna be like, oh, grandpa had a ton of stuff. All we have is this little tablet, and then our four. With his playlist on it. Yeah, and our four space suits that fucking upload.

Yeah, you're like, oh, he's looking at your spot, like, sex with my wife. Dude, I think about that all the time, about we found a letter from my dad. Did I read that on the podcast yet? Yeah, I know exactly where it is. We found a lot. How much time do we have left? Is this how we close it out before the basketball cards? Myrtle back to your kennel. You don't get to read this letter. Myrtle kennel. I'm leaving the door open.

I'm being a pretty cool fucking dude. Kennell. I'm a pretty chill owner. He's like sex playlist 2016. Yeah, that's what I mean. They're gonna read our sexes. Yeah, oh yeah. They're gonna be like, oh. Yeah.

You're gonna be like, yeah, I want you to sit on my face. And they're like, God, grandpa was a freak. But dude, we were cleaning out my grandma's stuff and we found a letter from my dad to my grandma. And this is when my dad was like 25. And they wrote letters back then. Like now it's all emails and texts and shit. But dude, it's from 1974, July 8th, 1974.

And my dad is, he's apologizing to my grandma for going through his first divorce. When he abandoned his first family, shout out, Billy will have dinner the next time I'm in Portland. It's my dad's first wife that I still stay in contact with, my sister's mom. She rules, she's cool as fuck and her and my mom are cool. My dad was not a good dude. Brought a lot of people together. By fucking them over, he. A lot of people together by fucking them over.

He brought a lot of people together. Um, but dude, it was so funny because reading this, it it's like, uh, he's getting rebound pussy, but he doesn't know it's rebound. But he wrote it to your grandma. Yeah. Yeah. But, but he's not saying it's re he's like, but he wrote it to your grandma. Yeah. Yeah, but but he's not saying it's read He's like he started dating a woman after He got divorced. Uh-huh. So he's clearly on the rebound and you remember being 25 Yeah, when you'd be like, oh this is this is the answer to life And so I was like reading this letter with my cousin and I was like, yeah My dad's pussy whipped in this letter and you could read it it because he wrote, it seems like I've been looking for Betty for 25 years. You stayed, you stated when we were with you,

that you'd never seen me as happy. Mom, in my short life, I've never felt this happy. I've never felt this way about any individual. I can't begin to express how good I feel every time I see her. It makes no difference. Be it in the morning when we wake up or be it, when I've come back from the store after an absence of only five minutes and you're like, and I asked my mom, cause my mom and my dad started dating and like, this is from 74.

They started dating in like 76 and I was like, you know a girl named Betty? And my mom was like, no. She's like, I didn't know a girl named Betty. And she was like, so it's clearly a girl that my dad was just fucking, but this is what I mean. I got proof. They're gonna have to go through these phones. It can be deleted.

Like your grandkids are gonna have to be good with computers and find it. This I just found and I was like Oh, come on, Gary. Yeah Come on, dude, like he's never gonna know He's like simping and you're like Cuz you don't think of your dad that you don't think your dad is a sim Well, also all he I grew up with my dad talking shit about my mom. Like they were divorced.

So my dad would be like, hey, mom's a bitch. But he always played it cool. He's like, hey, I'm the man. Your mom misses this. That kind of shit. And then I read that letter, and I'm like, you fucking loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Betty probably treated him like shit.

Oh, she probably was fucking some black dude on the side 74 we don't know But you know what I mean? You know, no, she's like she's doing something Yeah, it'd be funny if this podcast comes out and she's like I am Ben we've all did you see the Napoleon movie? No people didn't like it. But one thing that's cool about it is like he is like a total simp in the movie Yeah, and it's like everybody everybody's a simp at one point. Dude, yeah. Everybody gets walked all over by some, some girl. That's a part of life. Yeah. Is like being like falling in love where you're just so vulnerable that you're a simp. Yeah. That you're just like any, it's like a drug. Yeah. You're like anything you need. Yeah. Oh fucking God, I need you. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Latin

guys do it the coolest. Cause they're like, oh, me and more. They're like Pepe Le Pew. Pepe Le Pew is just a simp. If you think about it. He's a simp? Yeah. Cause you know, he follows that. He follows.

Is he simping that? It seems like it's more like a dominant. You think it's more rapist? It's that Chappelle? I haven't seen him. I haven't seen it in a while, but there's not like a a there's more of like a Predator power a predator predatory thing. Yeah, I kind of think he's like, oh like when he gets her he's like, oh

White guys sipping just gets scary. It's scary. That's mass shootings. Yeah. Yeah, they're just like fuck you You didn't pick up. Yeah, you didn't pick up my phone call Yeah, we're Latin guys are like is the Sun. Oh Yeah, yeah I know we get too angry when we're like lose my fucking number Why don't you fucking think you're like ass all Twitter, stupid bitch. Why don't you fucking hate me? You think you're like asserting yourself and like, yeah, you know. Yeah, if you, that's the lesson of this episode.

Die quickly and simp like a Latin. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hi, yon for you. There you go. That's the episode title. No, dude. What was the first word we called it?

Die quick. Quick death. Quick death might be good. So I know you're not a giant sports guy, but, uh, Microscene has an incredible special out right now on YouTube. One of the funniest human beings walking on the planet. Check out Out for Smokes, the podcast, Microscene.com. Microscenecomedy.com. Microscenecomedy.com at Microscene on social media.

I got some dates. I got Charlotte June 2nd June 2nd Shell great there last time. Yeah, I haven't shut that out. Yeah, come on Charlotte Yeah, come on out and see micro scene June 2nd. Yeah, you're the Bank of America and come to my show Yeah, I'm on come see Mike at the Charlotte Comedy Zone You roll do thanks for coming by doing this. Thanks for having me. Got real dark and silly. That's all right, as long as I watch the special. Yeah, just watch the special.

Thanks, dude. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"]