Soder - 64: Glass In Your Hair with Adrienne Iapalucci | Soder Podcast | EP 62

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Support the sponsors to support the show Visit BetterHelp.COM/SODER today to get 10% off your first month. Visit BetterHelp dot com slash soder to get 10% off your first month. Get timeless looks with modern comfort from Mack Weldon. Go to Mackweldon.com promo code DAN and get 25% off your first order of $125 or more, with promo code DAN. That’s Mackweldon.com promo code DAN Let’s get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at Babbel.com/SODER Dan is on the road all 2025! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour Jan 30 - Feb 1 - Winnipeg, Canada Feb 20 - 22 - Huntsville, AL Feb 28 - San Diego, CA March 1 - Los Angeles, CA March 2 - San Francisco, CA Follow Adrienne Iapalucci https://www.instagram.com/adrienneiapalucci/?hl=en Go watch her special Dark Queen on Netflix now PLEASE Drop us a rating on iTunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/soder/id1716617572 Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by    @homelesspimp   https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

Baby, I'm back on the road 2025 Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I will be at Rumors Comedy Club at the end of January, the last weekend of January. You want the dates? Fine, I'll go on my phone and look at them for you. January 31st, I will be there January 30th, January 31st and February 1st at Rumors in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Then Huntsville, Alabama at the Improv. That's gonna be February 20th through the 22nd and then California. I know LA you're going through a lot of shit right now. We're gonna try to find a way to make this show be helpful with people in the area but February 28th

I will be at the Balboa theater in San Diego, California Those tickets on sale go get them right now and then I will be at the United Theatre on March 1st in Los Angeles tickets available for that and then Palace of the Performing Arts San Francisco, California February or March 2nd. Almost said February. What an idiot. But I will be San Diego, LA and San Francisco at the end of February. Hopefully things will be much better by then in Southern California. But we were thinking about you and we love you and we hope you're okay. DanSoder.com for tickets. We'll see you soon. How natural is that read?

That was a pretty fucking natural read. And I know my mom's watching this and she's like, your reads aren't natural. That's real as fuck Trish. You got to admit that. How natural is that? Oh, I can't even smell. What am I acting? You ever gone to FDNY vs NYPD? And I was like, no. I didn't even know that's the thing

regular people could go to. You could buy tickets for it. It's once a year. I gotta look it up to see if they still do it. But it was yearly at the theater at MSG. And then what you have is half the audience are cop fans and half the audience are FDNY So they're like firefighters versus cops

The cops do something and this is the brilliant strategy They get the CEOs from Rikers Yeah from Rikers and Sing Sing and those guys fight for the FDNY, but they're like Awesome at fighting. Yeah, those guys would for the FDA, but they're like awesome at fighting. Yeah, those guys would definitely be awesome at fighting. So they just beat the shit out of these like small, these like firefighters that are like just to sell tickets. They should let you look up the cop that gave you a speeding ticket and watch him get just demolished.

I mean, you would show up with a sign. Oh, my God. Petra Sillie's ass. up with a sign Petra silly's badge number six oh three five take them down but it's fun I will go let's go I would go I'm gonna look that let's look it up right now I would buy us tickets I'll go to a boxing how fucking fun would that be I watched the Tyson fight and it's so bad that sucked yeah it's up but that we knew it was gonna suck. They're selling us shit. I know, but you know he was just really going light on him.

I don't think so. No, he was. He punched him and then at one point he pulled back where he could have just kept slamming his fucking fist into his head. But his knee, his legs were all fucked up. I think he was like, the best he was gonna do was that first round and then I think he.

Oh, I'm saying Tyson was terrible. Oh, yeah. I'm saying the other guy, yeah, he was gonna do was that first round. And then I think he- Oh, I'm saying Tyson was terrible. Oh yeah. I'm saying the other guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was holding back. Tyson was not holding back, he could barely stand up. That was my biggest problem with the match, was like, if you're gonna fucking say all this shit

that you're gonna fight, then fight. I think he was scared to really like hurt him. FDNY versus NYPD 2024. It's March. So it's in March. Okay. So next March, 2025. Look at that copy. It's called the Bravest Boxing.

Bravest Boxing. But here's some. It's 2024 FDNY versus NYPD Battle of the Badges. Oh, that's the baseball game. So they got to go watch the Badges. Oh, that's the baseball game. So they, but gotta go watch the boxing. Boxing or even hockey, something where they can be real aggressive.

Yeah, it's called bravest boxing. That's what we're gonna look it up. For a good cause. Do you think there's any like firemen that just like don't go into a fire? They just like kind of wait. They go like, you go. Or they go like, got a tie my shoe

That would be me. I'm asthma. I Bet guys are my breath is weird You go in if you need me to yell Shell for me if they had like that's why they're so brave because if they had like the same Bitch tendencies is like Hollywood. They'd go like I need a me day today We have a four alarm. We have a four alarm fire up in the Bronx. And they go, I just, I'm not feeling it today.

But I think firemen love, like they talk about fires. Like they love it. Do you think firefighters are closeted pyromaniacs? I don't know. I think they're just guys that wanted a good pension. Shout out. I understand that. Who doesn't? Sure. And also, the schedule is pretty sweet to cheat on your wife.

You think that's part of it? I don't think that dissuades them. I think when someone's like, hey, what are the reasons to be a fireman? They go, side pus. And they go, I'm listening. Women love firefighters. The firefighter fetish. Do you think cops resent that?

Do you think cops resent how many women want to fuck FDNY or like firefighters? I think that like the stigma against cops, like killing people and obviously not all of them. I think that's tough. Yeah. Whereas no one hates firemen. Even if you let someone's house burn, no one hates firemen. Even if you let someone's house burn, no one hates firemen.

No one gets mad. No one's mad. No one's like, hey, you let my granddaughter die. Yeah, she got charred. Because you suck. She got charred because you're lazy. Because you suck. Yeah, they never do that.

They never do that. They just go like, thank you for trying. That was a good approach. It almost worked. You waited to go from a helicopter down. You dumped a big bucket of water on it and I appreciate that. Unfortunately, my daughter is now.

She's deceased. She's deceased. Yeah, you're right, no one gets mad. No one's ever mad at firemen, but people are mad at cops all the time. If I were a cop, that would make me hate firefighters. That's what I would think of in the boxing ring. Yeah, you'd be like, I fucking, I ran into an active shooter

and they called me a murderer. You fucking let that burn like that. They called me, I'm a racist. Well, dude, the COs are like, when literally they got in the ring, I started laughing. Because one of the guys was giant and jacked. And they were like, from Rikers Island CEO Dante Jones. Dante sounds hot. And he was just like a big black dude and then he was like a little pug of a firefighter,

little Italian guy named like Anthony Giuffo. And he like came out and he was just like boom, boom he just walked him down. It was... Wait, who won? Dante. Oh, FDNY. NYPD, like. Yeah, Dante must have. I think it was like seven fights to two. That seems unfair of a fight. They have to fight the actual cops. That's what I said.

Yeah, that's crazy. When I found out that they were like. So then why is FDNY not hiring like MMA fighters? Or FDNY, you gotta find like paramedics. Like what's your side? Like the cops are going to COs. So what do FDNY go to to be like. I guess paramedics, like what's your side, like the cops are going to COs, so what do FDNY go to to be like? I guess paramedics, yeah.

You go like, go get a guy that trains like Brazilian jujitsu or kickboxing and paramedics. But also, that should bring the whole community together, watching FDNY fight NYPD. Yeah, but it doesn't. No, it's only their families. So you just see like these women that barely see their husbands being like,

fucking kill him. And all their girlfriends. Yeah, and all the side girls. Like there's all these random women at this boxing match. You're like, there is a lot of puss at the SFDNY fighting match. Why is she cheering for my husband?

Why do you care so much? Why are you crying that he lost? What do you care about Bobby? Yeah, that is true. She goes, why Why are you crying that he lost? What do you care about Bobby? Yeah, that is true. She goes, why are you so mad that he lost? And she's like sitting there, and he's like, his face is so beat up. Don't do it, you're gonna ruin your face.

That's something that was making me laugh, that always makes me laugh about boxing matches in general, are number one, the ring girls, who just have to sit there with the most psychotic smile on their face. Even though. And they're just dressed like, they look like so hot.

But they're just like oiled up tits, and there's just like a guy who's just like can't see out of his face. He's like bleeding. Well, that's always, that's the point that makes me laugh, is their wives always dress up in like ball gowns and shit.

Oh, and they're watching the fight? Yeah, and then they like see their husband after, and they're like lace gloves, and they're watching the fight? Yeah, and then they like see their husband after and they're like lace gloves and they're like, good job, Eduardo. And he's like, I fight for my wife. I fight for my country. And he's just like bleeding out of his eye and she's like, we're gonna send money back.

This is a $17,000 dress. So I need you to. How much money do you get to lose in a box? How much money did Tyson get? 20 million. That's crazy. He got 20 million and Jake Paul got 40 million. Yeah, even if he get the shit kicked out of you

for 20 million, I would fight him. Yeah, it was 16 minutes. I would fall down immediately. Eight two minute rounds. Yeah, 16 minutes. 16 minutes for $20 million. And he wasn't going to knock him out. That was pretty odd.

No, he was not. But also just think of all the pigeons he can save I could have a whole tree of pigeons in his backyard I bet he does he loves pigeons also if you're Mike Tyson's like financial advisor how mad you have to be where you go all right Mike after taxes we're gonna clear about 11 million dollars on this and he's like pigeons and they go can I have you put it in an IRA pigeons pigeons growing up in New York Mike Tyson was like a superhero here he was but then he's also a rapist for a while yeah I think I was in the rapist era you're in the right I don't know if I was in him being yeah I just remember him as being the era. I don't know if I was in him being a super weight. I just remember him as being the rapist.

I don't know if there was another. I mean, I think if I was younger, maybe. And then he was also a bite. It didn't eat bite. Bite ears? Yeah, that was another. The rape was first and then the bite ear. But Patrice had my favorite joke about Mike Tyson's rape case

where he's like, then you find out it's because he ate her pussy. And he's like, how do you rape eat pussy? He's like, shut up, bitch. Shut up, bitch. It's on his Comedy Central presents. That's really funny. Yeah, it's like one of my favorite old Patrice. But it's yeah, he has he's had so many lives. Yes. That's what I hate now about these like about the YouTube

Instagram generation. Mm hmm. You see people that are like. 19 years old being like Mike Tyson's the goat. And you're like, you have zero idea. Why is he the goat? Because he fought that guy? Just because they like, people hear that and like they see older people go like.

He was a great fighter though. He was unbelievable. Yeah. He was, I remember him losing to Buster Douglas. I was like seven years old. It was like crazy. I remember him losing to Buster Douglas. I was like seven years old. It was like crazy. I remember it being like, I was also at my dad's girlfriend's house.

So I remember- They were watching the fight? Oh yeah, dude. Alcoholics loved Mike Tyson. No, there was like a shitty apartment in Denver. My dad was like still in Denver. And I remember being like, I had diarrhea. I had really painful diarrhea.

From the fight? No, just being a seven year old eating stuff. And my dad had to come and tell me what was happening. He's like, Mike Tyson's losing. And I was like. Were you just in the bathroom all the time? Yeah, I was just shitting. And then I came in and I watched the end of it

and I was genuinely sad. It was a horrible day for me. It sounds like a really bad day is right. You started out with diarrhea and then you went to Mike Tyson losing. Having diarrhea as an away game, like not at home. Oh, sucks. That is terrible. You know, when you're little and you're like, you don't know what's going on.

You're like, why won't this stop? What were you eating? I don't remember. I just remember. I feel like as a kid, you'd eat crayons. Me? I was a glue kid for a little. I was going to say glue. I tried. Here's the Me? I was a glue kid for a little. I was gonna say glue also. I would try glue. Here's the thing, I would eat stuff to make people laugh. I get that.

Do you remember the glue on the stick? Yeah. And just putting it all over your hands in school and keep taking it off and seeing if you could get it off in one piece? Yes. Elmer's glue drying on your palm of your hand and pulling it. Why did we all do that?

Because it was so fun. Because you know what it was is you were actually watching science. You were watching congeal. And you felt it like tighten up. Yeah. The tighten up part was pretty, that was what you waited for.

But then you remember the kid in school that thought you were weird for doing it? We were all really doing it. Really? Yeah. Damn, New York public schools were wild. I didn't go to public school, I went to Catholic school.

You did? Whole time? The entire time. What's your religious life, I mean are you completely out now? Cause I feel like that- I was never in. So even going you were like, fuck this.

It was so boring, I think if you want kids to get into church you have to make it more fun. It was so boring, I got in trouble for playing Pass It On in church. What was Pass It? Like if I went like that to your knee then you do it to the next person and for playing pass it on in church. What was passing? Like if I went like that to your knee, then you do it to the next person. And then they you do it to somebody else. You know, you just bored in school. And like we would have to read and shit on Sunday at mass. So I got like a pink slip and my sister like ratted on me.

For playing pass it on in church. I got a pink slip for pass it on. And then I got my sister told them I got this pink slip. So it was a pink slip kind Pass it On and then I got my sister told them I got this pink slip So was a pink slip kind of like yellow trouble. It was like a yellow card. You were like a pink slip It was a slip that was pink. It was like your kid is bad for doing Pass it On and did you have to get it Signed by your parents. Yes. Oh Remember I was out and my parents came to pick me up because I got this pink slip And my sister just got a fucking beaten from me

younger or older sister? Younger. Younger sister ratted on you. My sister is such a rat. She ratted on you immediately? She ratted. She would do anything she could to get me in trouble so I'd stay home with her. And then she somehow thought I was- Why? Because she wanted to hang out with you?

Yes. Really? Yes. So she loved you so much she wanted you in trouble. Yes. So I would hang out with her. This is almost that's like a like a fucked up kidnapping where she's like, I mean, we already slept in the same bedroom. So I don't know why she needed me there more. I think she just didn't really have a social life and she just liked you.

I think I was the person that lived there. I think whoever it was, she would have ratted on. Really? It wasn't me specific. It was just whoever was her sibling. I think she would have ratted on. it wasn't me specific. It was just whoever was her sibling I think she would have ratted on did your parents ever get mad at her for ratting When we were kids My dad if my dad was like, you know a fat guy

Yeah, if he ever got up you're getting fucking beat no shit and we live in a small two bedroom apartment I'm gonna come up the stairs to beat us. It was just had to get up. He just had to get up Did you how long what was the plan if he got up? Were you like, do I run to my. No, you just had to get beat. So my father would get up and he would only hit my sister cause she would scream when we had a fight. Like if we were fist fighting, she would scream.

I would say nothing, she would get beat. You would just be quietly breathing? I would just be quiet. She would be, she would say, I'm only hitting you she would get beat. You would just be quietly breathing? I would just be quiet. She would be, and he would say, I'm only hitting you because I hear you. And you would think she would just stop screaming. There's the answer. No, she kept screaming.

And then he'd be like, I gotta keep my word. I told you why I do it. I told you the secret sauce. Just stop screaming. She would keep screaming. Were you and your mom ever like, stop screaming? No, because I'm like, she's got to learn eventually, I guess. But she just kept getting fucking.

She looked like Mike Tyson just black guy going to school. She's like, I ain't done yet. I still feel I got a couple of screams in me. She's so every fight she would scream. Did and sure screams annoying. Listen, we can all agree child abuse is bad. Great, now that we've moved past that. Sure.

Did it make you two tough as shit for school? We didn't really get into a lot of fights at school. Because when you did, would you win them? I really only got into a fight like a couple of times. Really? But for the most part part me and my sister fought the most So you because I remember if like if you knew siblings that fought Most of the time that meant they would fuck your shit up if you tried to sure So this is the thing there was a couple of times in my childhood where my friends were gonna fight somebody sure

We would put like Vaseline on our faces and glass in our hair and nails. You would put glass in your hair? No, not glass, but nails. You put nails in your hair and then you go to the car. So if they grabbed it. Yeah. You just booby trapped your own hair?

Okay, so thinking back, this was fucked up. We were going to take the SATs. My friend told me that someone had cheated on my friend's boyfriend. Like he cheated on my friend, right? So the morning of the SATs, I told her immediately. She got the worst SAT scores. Wait, before the SATs? Yeah, but I couldn't have that to myself.

I was like, you gotta know this. And then she got the worst scores. So then I'm like- She can't get into college because the guy wanted bussing. And then I was like, you gotta fight this chick. Yeah. Because now you know what you know what you did. Not only is she heartbroken about the SAT. Well, she didn't know she was

right, but she knew she wasn't gonna do well yet. But I mean, like she's heartbroken about the break about her getting cheated on. So she can't. That's all she's thinking about during the SATs. And then also the anxiety of I got to fight someone the night before the SATs were crazy. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Guys, I always talk about therapy.

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Go to MackWeldon.com and get 25% off your first order of $125 or more with the promo code Dan. That's Mac Weldon, M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com, promo code Dan. So I was talking to this one guy, Joe or Joey, he drops me off and I was still like into my ex-boyfriend. So my ex-boyfriend's by my house, now this guy Joey comes back around the block and sees me with him and he's dropping me off

to take the SATs. Right, so he's. So Joey's supposed to pick me up to take me to my SATs, but now he's seen me with my ex-boyfriend Vinny at the time. God damn, you really have some New York names. Right. Vinny and Joey. Vinny and Joey and Bobby.

Yeah, the fucking, eh. What are you, a shark or a jet? So Vinny that night tells me that Jay cheated on Melissa. And Melissa is your good friend? Melissa is my best friend. So that's immediately. So the first thing in the morning, I can't wait to ruin her life. I guess I didn't even realize I was going to fuck her up for that.

I'm like, Hey, Jay cheated on you. Was that the first words out of your mouth? Probably hey. Hey, J cheated on you. Is that was that the first words out of your mouth? Probably. Hey, hey, J. Morning. J. Good luck on the S.A. You guys are teenagers. So it's 16 or 17.

Yeah. Okay. Joe. Now I go. I don't know if this guy's gonna pick me up. He just saw my ex boyfriend. So he picks me up and he's just wrecked. He's mad at me, but he picks me up and keeps his word

and drops me off at the SATs. He's a good guy. He's a pretty good guy. Yeah. And then before, so you tell her, hey, Jay cheated on you. Right. When do you get to the point where you go,

let me get some nails from my dad's work box. I don't remember when that happened. It might've been that weekend or something. And now I shouldn't have gotten her to fight. She was very small. She didn't do well in the fight. No way. No way.

She got her hair pulled right away and it was not good. It was a mess. Oh. And then you're like. Oh. Because here's the thing, getting cheated on hurts. It's pretty bad. I got cheated on in eighth grade by two guys that I know.

The guy that my girlfriend. Your ex-girlfriend double teamed somebody in eighth grade? That would have been easier. It was two separate. Two separate dudes she cheated on you in eighth grade with? Yeah, like different occasions. Got fingered, which is eighth grade fucking. That is.

That's pretty early for fingering, isn't it? Yeah, you know, God bless her. I hope she's all right now. She's not. No, but it was two different guys, both of whom, it was two different occasions. Okay. Both the guys would have kicked the shit out of me.

One ended up being a legitimate American war hero, like a fighter pilot. He would have kicked the shit out of me. In ended up being a legitimate American war hero, like a fighter pilot. He would kick the shit out of me. In eighth grade he had fighter pilot vibes. He had that like showed up with his jacket. He like he was like cool. Okay. And then the other kid was a giant, giant fat kid that was good at football. So it was like you like when you're the person that like cheats on somebody, they should not they should let you beat them Well, if you think in your girlfriend, you should let you beat him up Yeah, but I wasn't even cuz cuz of your what you're saying about your friend. I got it

I was like, I'm not getting cheated on and getting my shit kicked because I wasn't She got beat up and she did poorly on the SATs. It was not a good weekend What a trifecta. She really ran a fucking tough race. Getting the scores back. The triathlon of failure. Well, I drowned in the swimming part and then I pulled my hammy in the running

and then I crashed my bike. Yeah, she did not, it was not good. Daddy is a tough, but also I think it's like, if you were tough, you wouldn't have got cheated on I don't know if that's necessarily true cuz I think well, that's how I feel I feel like if I were to have been like good at fighting those guys would have gone Oh, she's dating Dan. I don't want to get beat up. Maybe maybe that's true But I think they were like, he's the class class. Were you also fingering her? No. Yeah, that's it.

She's like, I just want to finger so bad. I was trying, I tried. And she, oh yes, cause you were weak. I know, I was weak. She couldn't fight those guys off. Yeah. Especially the big fat one. The big fat one, yeah, you're not fighting him.

And then he won a, later in life, he won a million dollars in his scratch off lottery and then blew it. And that made me happy. What'd he blow it on? Dumb shit. Probably snacks. Like airplanes. For his fat ass.

Probably had a bunch of snacks and different dips. And just fucking video games. I think he bought like a car and a house and then didn't realize that the taxes on those are fucking crazy. Yeah, that's true. And then he just was fucking zero. He's just thinking about, he's like,

yeah, but I still got Dan's girl. He goes, he goes, you know what though? 97 was a good year. I didn't get the fucking. Dude, that was like the worst year of my life. Like that happened. And then my dad got sick and died

all within like six months. Jesus, that's not good. I mean drugs, baby. That's how your dad died drugs? Oh no, my dad died because of drinking but that's how I got into drugs. Oh. That's your own trifecta.

Yeah, I did. Cheated on, your dad died and then drugs. I got cheated on, broke my shoulder playing football, dad died. And then it was, I had a prescription to Percocet. Oh, you were one of those kids? Yeah. How long were you? Cool as hell.

And then that girl come back? Yeah, yeah, freshman year she tried. But then I was like, nah, I'm cool. You've had too many fingers in you. Yeah, I was like, you're like a baseball, you're like a bowling ball. Too many fingers are in you. Yeah, I was like, you're like a baseball, you're like a bowling ball. Too many fingers are in you. Yeah, I'm sorry, I gotta spray you with that shit

they put on the shoes and bowling balls. Spread your legs, let me spray you. But I almost, there was a moment where I was like back into it and I was like, what am I doing? With that girl? Yeah, and then I took two more Percocet and I was like, I'm gonna go. I'm over this.

Yeah, I was like, lady, you got nothing on Big Pharma. I was like, wah, wah, wah. But yeah, it was, that was a- How long were you addicted to Perks? It didn't last that long because I ran out of the prescription and I didn't have like, I was too young to do the thing where you go into crime to get the pills.

So I was- It just stopped. I mean, there was a couple tough weeks. Yeah. Because I was supposed to take them and then my shoulder started healing So I was stopped. I mean, there was a couple of tough weeks. Yeah, because what I was supposed to take them and then my shoulder started healing and I hit him and I did two more refills and didn't tell. I told my mom I was still having shoulder pain, but I was just squirreling them away. Right. We saving them for a big party. Yeah. No big party. Fuck that. Tuesday afternoon, I go to Ryan Huffman's house and fucking.

Did you share? I would give him one and I would take two. Because I liked them. I liked them a lot. Then I'd smoke a cigarette. Oh, smoking Camel Lights when I was like 14, 15, taking perks. Man, you were sound pretty cool actually.

Well, I got cheated on. That was my. That was eighth grade though. Yeah. Freshman year, you're back in. Nah man, freshman year I got cheated on. That was my. That was eighth grade though. Yeah. Freshman year, you're back in. Nah, man, a freshman year I was a mess. When is the drug, when do you start getting hooked on drugs? Yeah, it was freshman year.

And then like sophomore year, I was like, I was like in your group of, you know your group of friends, there was tiers. Like the top three tiers would get the opposite sex. And then the fourth and fifth tier would get like the scraps. I was like fifth tier. You're getting the scraps. Yeah, I was the big headed funny kid.

So I would get like. You know, I was like, but I wasn't in high school. I was like big head gangly. I do remember when we you first started doing stand up. We've known each other the entire time I was. Yeah. I was at standup New York and you were going on a date with somebody and you were like kinda in a grunge era.

Oh I had long hair. I don't know if you had long hair but you were all in black. You were like kinda into like goth a bit. No I was more like. Or like heavy metal maybe. Yeah I was wearing like a lot of Metallica shirts. That sounds about right. Yeah and I had long hair.

That was when I was like still waiting tables, but drinking very heavily. Yes. And you were friends with that guy, Joe. Yeah. The comic who was really funny, but he started doing stand up. That's my that's my boy. Still. I know. I just talked to him on the phone. He's or something. He yeah, he did. And then he went to the hospital for diabetes.

And they fixed it. Well, no, because he wasn't treating it. Right. Shut out, Joe. I remember Joe. Joe Alexander. He was very, very funny. He was very, very good.

What did he do instead? He's a dad now. He's got a job. He's like a full adult. He's a regular guy, but we talk all the, he's funny as shit still. He's very funny. I remember him.

He called me on the phone. We talked on the phone on Saturday about, like, we still keep in touch. He's the as shit still. He's very funny, I remember him. He called me on the phone, we talked on the phone on Saturday about like, we still keep in touch. He's the fucking man. Do you think he's jealous that like, he didn't keep doing comedy? Cause he probably would have made it. Yeah, no, he was already making it. When he stopped, he was making it.

So why did he stop? Barry Katz was like trying to manage him. When we were all doing those Monday night shows, those Daniela shows. Oh God. Yeah, and then he was like, he got instant attention. He was super funny. So why did he stop though?

I just think he was like, that's always the case. It's always the funniest guys. It's always someone that's very funny that just stops. It's like John McKeever. Like, McKeever's standup is fucking brilliant. Does he not do standup anymore? Sometimes, if he just doesn't have that thing that we have. He doesn't have that thing that we have where you're like, I need it.

I need to do it again. I don't even know if that's what I had. I think I just like I was saying this somebody else. Like I can just keep doing something for a long time, even if it's not good. But you were always good. You always had good jokes. Kind of.

I mean, my stage presence is always a little weird. Yeah, you have DMV energy. Yeah, I a little weird. Yeah, you have DMV energy Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, you have like what what number do you have and the audience is like 16 and you're like, well, it's 15 go sit down Everyone at the DMV it's always like a black lady It seems like it's like a black lady that got just got cheated on her boyfriend. Yeah, that's what everyone there is mad It's your friend. It's your friend. It's your friend that got told she was cheating

and she has to go to work and give people licenses. No, that girl just cried. These women are mad. Everyone at the DMV is mad. They wanna get you back with bureaucracy. And I get it. You don't have the right form filled out. They love that shit. That's their power.

They're like, oh, that's their kink. Is there like, oh, fuck, read the instructions. And you're like, are you fingering yourself? You signed on the wrong line. Go fill that back out. Six more pages. You got to fill the fuck out. The DMV is the worst.

It's it's it's almost impressive to go to the DMV in New York. I'm always surprised that the DMV doesn't get shut up. Yeah, post office. Never the DMV. The DMV seems like the place where they could really deserve it. I feel like they all have side arms and we don't see it. They might.

So they're just like, they're all like. That's why they're so slow, they're only working with one arm. Yeah, they go, okay, they just have their hand on their piece and they're like, okay, so you still live at that address? You fuck, don't make that move. But yeah, I remember like, okay, so you still live at that address? You fuck, don't make that move. But yeah, I remember like, I met you right when I moved here.

Probably. Yeah, we used to. I told you not to sign with Wayne. Remember I went to Montreal with him and I was like, don't go with him. And I didn't. He's so bad. I remember that he yelled at the lady,

the guy that booked Chelsea lately. He fucked a dude on my couch. First of all, I let him stay with me. He stayed in my hotel with me and my boyfriend. Luckily, there was a one bedroom, otherwise he was just gonna stay in the bed near me. Yeah, that's wild. It's crazy.

That is wild. But yeah, we've always known each other. For a long time, and I was like, don't go with him. And I remember being, I mean, I remember. Yeah. And I remember being I mean, I remember even before that, being at Stand Up New York and just like drinking in the corner of the bar, because Rick would give me free booze. And then I would just like hang out and do check spots.

And we do like the mics together and stuff. When I started out in New York City, Stand Up New York was like one of the best clubs. It was packed. It was the second best club. I remember Big Jay going on stage and doing a joke, I guess about fucking a girl that he said had the same body as him. Yeah, I remember that.

He goes, fat girl with small tits. He goes, it's like looking into a mirror. And he did like that. He did that joke at Santa Mere because I remember just watching him. Yeah, I would watch. Me and you, I think 2007 is when you started, right? And that's when I moved here.

I started 2004. Okay, me too, but I moved here in 07. And we were kind of about the same. Yeah, and I guess I met you at stand-up. Yeah, we met stand-up New York. And we used to watch, because remember it was always either Big J, Patrice, or Attell would be the headliners.

So you got to watch. It was great comics. And Louie, Louie was coming up. Yeah, I don't remember Louis there though. I remember watching Louis at Stand Up New York in front of like 15 people on a Monday night and he was doing, he was working on Chewed Up. It was after Shameless.

I remember watching him kill, he was like doing so well, this guy was in pain. This guy was like holding himself. He was like, ah, ah, laughing so hard at Louie because Louie was doing the joke about when girls go wild, they show their tits, but when women go wild, they drown their kid in the bathtub. And he was like, this guy was like, ah.

That is really funny. It was fucking awesome. One of my biggest regrets is not speaking Spanish. I wish I knew how to speak Spanish because I feel real stupid when I try to talk to someone and I'm like I don't know I don't know how this works but then you get Babel and Babel can teach anybody you know how they go like if you don't teach someone a language before 12 they don't learn it. Bullpucky! Babel has got you covered. If you're going on an

international trip, if you're really looking forward to the year and you want to impress someone that you love that speaks another language, check out Babbel. It gets you talking. Studies from Yale, Michigan State, and other leading universities continue to prove that Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is the equivalent to a full semester at college with over 16 million subscriptions sold. Babbel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by 20 day money back guaranteed this year. Get talking with Babbel.

Let's get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at babbel.com slash Soder. That's right. Get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash Soder spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Soder. Babbel.com slash Soder. Rules and restrictions may apply. But yeah, I loved Stand Up New York. That place meant a lot to me because... I also liked the comic strip too. I was at Stand Up New York. That place meant a lot to me because. I also liked the comic strip too. I was at Stand Up New York more though. Yeah, because you could go back.

I would go with Big Jay over in between because he would be like, I would just be like his little henchman. And he'd be like, do you want to go to the. He's a good guy to be like your henchman. He's very fun, dude. Do you remember. He's still very fun.

Oh, he's the best. He's the funniest human being I've ever met in my life. He is very funny. Naturally funny. Naturally just very funny off the cuff. Big Jay is funnier than anybody I've ever met in my life. He is very funny. Naturally funny. Naturally just very funny off the cuff. Big Jay is funnier than anybody I've ever met in my life. Just hanging out with, being around, it's not even close. He's so funny.

He used to do one of my favorite things in the world. Do you remember old stand-up New York? There was a stoop next to the front door. Now it's like a finished building. Yes, yes, yes, yes, I remember that stoop. But there was a stoop and there was a lawyer on the first floor and then there was a Rub-N-Tug on the second floor.

I don't think I knew that. Big J, Lewis, and Dave, the skanks, pointed me out to the fact that there was the Rub-N-Tug. And we would hang out Fridays because Lewis would do poster dog. And so there would be like, everybody would be around, Bargetzi, Justin Silver, Dave Smith,

Big Jay would always like headline Harris Stanton. Oh my God, Harris Stanton, that's from the past. That would be like the kind of the crew that would hang out there. Whenever a guy on Friday night would leave that place, Jay would start a slow clap because he knew he was leaving the Ragnadog. So Big Jay, we'd all be outside smoking cigarettes.

That's so embarrassing. Yeah, and then Jay would be like. What do the guys do? Is it just like walk a shade? Yeah, dude, they would just come down the stairs and be like, oh, fuck. And they'd like walk right to the one train or whatever. But I just specifically remember that being like.

That's so embarrassing. So fun to do. Yeah, but that's so embarrassing. And then remember Lorenzo from the pizza place next door? Yes, I remember that pizzeria. And he would beat people up? They had really good pizza. I don't remember that part.

They had great pizzeria. And Lorenzo would come over outside and smoke cigarettes. And he would like. I didn't remember him beating people up. I watched him beat the shit out of a crackhead. Like beat the shit out of a crackhead. That's so unfair to a crackhead. No, this guy was honestly.

He deserved it. This was pretty even. What'd he do? He went in, bought a slice, ate it in the pizzeria, and then wanted another one because he said it was too small. And Lorenzo's like. Those slices were very small though.

Yeah, I don't know. Business is business. But the guy. I like that guy's attitude. The guy flipped three pizzas on the, you know how like the pizzas are up top? Yeah, of course. He like, I was standing outside smoking watching it.

And he like flipped all three and Lorenzo like, you know, in his apron and all white with the Italian horn necklace. That horn. And he was like, you motherfucker. And the guy like went outside and then he went outside and he chased the guy outside and the guy turned around and threw a punch and then Lorenzo was like, wham, wham, and just fucked the dude up.

He should have just given him one slice. I don't know man. He ruined three pies. Yeah, but that was worth it. For me, that was real cool. That was a cool day. Remember all of the headshots they had in there? Oh yeah, that was on like the little,

that little blank wall or whatever. Or like right. And that was a very small pizzeria. Do you remember? Oh, the pizzeria headshots. Oh yeah, that was like fucking great. They had them all along the, and you would like look and you'd be like.

One day I'm gonna be there. Or I would be, I was always blown away by who they had, where I'd be like Lorenzo Lamas. I didn't know half the people. But that's what I would like pick them out of like, from Renegade? Like shit shows. Or like, why are you putting that guy out?

They had to pay him so much money to leave. That whole area. Oh, I bet Lorenzo's in Florida on a nice piece of land. He's just beating up crackheads in Florida. Just chasing down these fuckers. He's like, bass salts? You think I'm worried about bass salts? But he would come out and be like,

he always hooked us up with food. When there was extra food at the end of the night He would come out and be like I'm throwing this away. What do you guys want? And when we were so fucking poor you're like, yeah, I'll eat whatever you have. Oh my god. I remember Lewis was like living with this comic hailey for a while I I know exactly what you're talking about. They lived up in Harlem together. And she was like, he stopped paying rent. Lewis? But then also, he was like, she wasn't,

I was paying her rent, she wasn't giving it to the guy. So they were both just like squatting there for months. That's very funny, a squat off? Where they're like, when you're squatting on a squatter. And I think they were sharing like a big room. I don't even think they had their own bedroom. I remember that. Lewis has had some crazy living situations.

Yes. But this is right when I met him. This is like when I- Yeah, this is probably 2007, 2008. Yeah, when I started hanging out with him and you were like, coming from Colorado and Arizona. Did you think Lewis was like a crazy person? Yeah, but I liked it.

Yeah, of course. I was interested. You were very interesting to me because you were very fucking New York to me. You were very like you were like from the Bronx. You didn't give a shit. You were almost like a caricature of like what I thought New Yorkers were like. That makes sense. Because you were like, fuck you. You were like, but you were nice to me, but not in like a fake Midwestern like,

hi, how are you? Like you were cold to me until we started talking and then you were cool. But mostly I think people think like, I'm just like a mean person. I'm like, I'm just kind of like an introvert a bit. Yeah. But like once we're friends, I could talk to you forever.

Yeah, but at first I was kind of like, I think Adrienne hates me. And then we were doing those mics. Everyone thinks that. And then we were doing those mics together and then we started talking shit about people and I was like, oh, Adrienne doesn't hate me. No, I remember like some crazy things

Daniella would say at that mic. Oh my God. She would like tell us not to write jokes. I know, I remember one time she went on stage about like having her period and putting the pad on like the heater. She had such crazy, and she was like dating Gary Goldman for a while.

She convinced him to like move upstate on a farm. They bought like a million dollar farm or something. Right, I wonder if he thinks back to his life he was like, I shouldn't have bought that farm. Maybe, I don't know, but I do remember one of my favorite moments from that era was she moved her show to the Comedy Village which was the old Boston, right and

There's Monday nights and I had to bark to get on it. Oh god We were I was always barking everywhere and I'm the worst barker me too. I was horrible come to the show They're like no, I'm like, you're probably right. Yeah, I remember, you know who's really good at barking Schultz I could see that I remember when we do the comedy village, you'd like get people in and I'd be like, damn, that's impressive. He's also doing arenas. I'm doing crowd work though, right? Were you kind of talk to people and like he was very, he's so charming. Yes, he would like be on the

corner and be like, where you guys going? You guys going out or whatever? I'm lazy. I found out if I sat on the stool in front of the comedy club people come by I could it would count as barking right but I didn't have to get anybody and then I could hang out with all the comics and like smoke cigarettes and just chill out front that's smart it was pretty great but I remember one night very very late like two in the morning the show started at eight there's like four people in the audience.

Sounds about right. And Daniella was like, I'm gonna go on stage. And we were like, Joe List, Joe List was the permanent host. Okay. Every Monday he hosted and he was supposed to get paid and he never got paid. He always got fucking ripped off. Every Monday he always got ripped off.

By Daniella? Yeah, he'd be like, I'm supposed to get a hundred bucks. And he would get nothing. Then sometimes he'd get paid. So he would come back. By Daniella? Yeah. He'd be like, I'm supposed to get $100. And he would get nothing. Then sometimes he'd get paid. So he would come back. Because you never know. And it was also a pretty good show. She would get Jim Norton.

She'd get. Yeah, and she usually got like, what was it, a bringer kind of? It was kind of. It was like a bringer hybrid, where she would have a couple people that were bringers. And then also barking. And then barking. And then people would come or whatever.

But then she would also get like Goldman and Norton and like Voss, even Patrice once there was still a lot of comedy in that area. The sellers are the seller and Sal's comedy hole. So that guy, yeah. He was then moved to LA and became like a success. But I, is he a success there? Not in comedy. Well, I think like running a success, but I success there. I heard that in common Well, I think like running a room. I think he's like successful, but I remember specifically that night List and I are like they're very late and she's like I'm gonna go up and we're like what?

She's like, yeah, I'm gonna go up and we wanted the show to end. So we were like fuck dude All right, whatever and then she goes on stage and starts talking about two of the four people that are there are FDNY. And she goes up there and she starts talking about how 9-Eleven was an inside job. And Listen, I Revise a Sound booth. I've told the story before on the bonfire, but it's my favorite thing.

We're sitting there and Joe goes, Joe goes, you hit the lights, I got the sound. And you remember that door that went down to the baguette in? Yes. There was like a hallway where you could go to the bar under the thing. So Joe says that and I like hit the lights down and the sound is up and he hits play. And it was Zeppelin's black dog. So she's on stage and the light goes out.

You just hear, hey, mama, say the way you moved. And then we ran downstairs with the lights off. We ran downstairs, sat at the bar, split a beer. So it looked like we like ordered a beer from Terry, the bartender, split it. And then one of her other minions was like, you guys know what happened upstairs? And we're like, no, what happened?

He's like, someone turned off the lights, turn on the music. And Joe and I were like, you guys know what happened upstairs? And we're like, no, what happened? He's like, someone turned off the lights, turn on the music. And Joe and I were like, crazy. But it was you saved her though. Yeah, maybe she doesn't know that. But yeah, that really is true. You don't realize the probably foreclosing on that farm. Yeah, they're like, Oh, yeah, got a fucking idea. So crazy. He had stopped doing comedy for a while too. Because he was with her. Yeah. But then he's you know, and then he came back. He came back. He's great. But that was such a weird, fun time. It was so crazy, he had stuff doing comedy for a while too because he was with her. Yeah, but then he came back.

He came back. He's great, but that was such a weird, fun time. It was a fun, weird time. Even Sal, I was working for Sal for a while. That guy took advantage of everybody. That was like when comedy, that was the last era of comedy being ran by carnies. In the true sense.

He's a true carny. Like I just worked SideSplitters in Tampa and BT runs it and it's fucking phenomenal. It's great, he's so nice. BT rules and the shows are great and the staff is awesome. But do you remember who owned it before, Bobby Jewell? No, because I didn't work there before. He was that old school.

Like that was one of the last clubs I remember on the road being ran by guys like that, where he had a bad wig and you'd always like scratch it. And you're always watching scratch. Like a black woman like. Yeah, he would like, yeah, he would like not move it. Like, and I remember he would like talk shit to you in a way that like almost seemed motivational,

but really it was like clear. He's being a dick? Yeah, where he'd be like, cause Sam Morrill liked them. Cause Sam would get blackout drunk with him at the bar. That sounds right. And Sam was like, no, no, no, he's real fun. And you're like, no, he's a piece of shit. But he was like the kind of guy where he would like you would see the numbers in the book and then he would lie to your face

and be like, no, you didn't even do that. Good. I don't remember this guy either, but people were telling me the guy that you stole at American Comedy Club was awful. I think, yeah, I think he's still. No, I don't think he does. Really? Because I did it and he wasn't there.

It wasn't like that crazy guy, yeah. I think he still might own it. Really? You think he was just chill that week? I don't know. I don't know because honestly, the last time I was there, I had the guy that MC'd for me the time before ask to do a guest set.

And I was like, yeah, come on in, do a guest set. And then we were just hanging. We were hanging in the green room and they had a camera in the green room. And the guy, we're like having an awesome conversation. He's like, yeah, I can come out here, whatever. And then he goes, I need to leave. And I go, what the fuck, why'd you look at your phone? And he goes, I need to leave. And I go, what the fuck?

Why'd you look at your phone? And he goes, he's watching us. He says, I'm not allowed back here. And I was like, that is wild. And he had to leave. He like left in the middle of the show. He like, it was fun. Those shows are fun.

I didn't draw well there, obviously. Yeah, but that club is, there's also seven clubs on that street. I just remember being on stage and being like, I see why they don't headline women. I was like, I get your point. You're losing a lot of money this weekend and it's my fault. You guys are really bleeding out.

You guys are losing so much money this weekend. Yeah, but the thing I've always loved about it's like I've watched, like you said, you can do something and just keep doing it. Yeah, just dysfunction. But I've watched you be this like hilarious joke writer and like an awesome comic, a comic that is a true comics comic, like other comics love you. And it's been fun watching the right comics love you.

You know what I mean? It's almost like when Louie got on board and Ari gets on board and you're like, OK, good. But I've also needed comics to help me. Yeah. Because like the industry just really never cares. But now the industry is completely broken. True, that is true.

They are so broken that it's kind of fun. They don't even know what they're doing. Oh, have you talked to anybody that's in the industry recently? So my manager's like, they're letting everyone go because nobody can make money. Yeah. It is kind of a crazy turnaround.

It's a 180 from, if you and I sitting on this couch were to go get a nice meatball hoagie at Angelo's in 07, and then talk to the two young versions of us sitting at the thing, you'd be like, there's no more Comedy Central, there's no more industry, there's no more late night sets, don't do shit. nights? Let's do nothing you would explain to that where you'd be like work on social media

You'd be like, what is what is social media? Exactly. No one was on me right when we started that really didn't exist Facebook was like a thing I got on Facebook like 2009. Yeah Facebook was a thing, but it wasn't a My space was good for comedy. That's how Dane blew up. Dane blew up, Steve Byrne did good on MySpace. There's a couple people I remember learning about on MySpace.

All the ONA guys I would go find on MySpace when I was living in Arizona, because that's how I would go find... MySpace is so crazy. Bill Burr used to have blogs. Bill Burr used to write out bits. I remember him writing out a bit about how white girls talk about how real they are.

And he's like, hey, you're not the fucking RZA. I remember reading that being like, Bill Burr's awesome. When did he blow up? When he did that ONA thing in Philly and he just went off? That was big for him, but then his podcast. But what year was that? That was kind of like. 08, 09.

Yeah, that was kind of like one of his arcs. Because did. Why do I do this? Came out in 08. That was an hour special on Comedy Central. And then that let it go. Like that was when he was selling out Caroline's and like, do you remember those half hours HBO? Did he have one? Yeah. One night stands. Yes. Uh, the year that build or sorry to interrupt. Build it or also. Burr, Patrice, Voss.

No, Bonnie. It was Bonnie. Yeah. And it was Kevin Brennan. Kevin's was really funny. All of them were great. All of those half hours. Those were unbelievable. Louie. Louie did it. Louie was that same year.

But the one night stands. HBO is completely giving up on comedy. Yeah, because I know that like they'll only do a couple of people that I think they either like have contracts with or work on their network. They told me when I tried to read up that they were looking for a message. A message. So I was like, I mean, I don't know. Does anyone watch their special? No, I guess. I don't know. It's like I think they had like I think Nikki did a good job. Yeah, I think Gerard Carmichael had a big one. But outside of that, I don't really remember anybody moving the needle. No, I think you would do.

I mean, you putting yours on YouTube, I think is the best because you got so many views on it. I got it helped my ticket sales, which is all that I cared about. Right. Of course. And I mean, Netflix, How have you felt about Netflix? Like do you feel like I mean I don't know cuz like they don't really do any promotion I mean like they were good to work with but like and they do that for I guess everyone are ones that are not Ones that they're licensing. I think they just do a certain amount of stuff for you, but you really have to push it yourself Yeah, and that's almost like

Yes, I'm doing all the podcast myself Yeah, you have to go do obviously like that's part of it what you have to push it yourself. Yeah. And that's almost like. Yes. I'm doing all the podcasts myself. Yeah, you have to go do all that. Which obviously, like, that's part of it and what you have to do. But back to our point, like in 07, there was a machine. There was like an actual machine. That could push you. Like someone would see you in a club.

And literally, they could do the thing where they were like, I'm going to put you on this. I'm going to put you on this. I'm going to put you on a late night set. You'll do a half hour on Comedy Central. You go to Montreal You get a development deal and if you get a pilot you could the Deadline article will get you another pilot Yes, but like the year I did Montreal was the last year that they had you did 2010, right? I did 2012 with Vecchione. Yeah. And that was the last year before they had like the unwrapped new faces.

You went to the next year, right? I was unwrapped, baby. An unwrapped- I did unwrapped. Or as Chris Laker famously called it, no face. No face. They treated you guys like an adopted child. I had to take a Greyhound up there. And they gave you no money.

No money. Did they also give you no hotel? Nope, they gave us a 25% discount on the hotel. That was all they gave us. Right. No per diem. And that's the thing you have to love about Ari. Didn't he put together a letter, comic signing, to be like, hey, you guys have to stop treating them

like trash? A couple years later he did that. Yeah. Because that's what Ari, like Ari. Ari, yeah, you need Ari. Ari got Rogan and a bunch of people to sign this letter that was like, yo, this is fucked up. Ari took all the unrep people to dinner, like bottom of dinner up there, not my year.

Fucking cheap Jew. I'm just kidding. Yeah, he like we didn't- He did it specifically to hurt you. Yeah, no, dude, Ari is- He loves comedy more than anyone I know. He is a man. And he also does everything to just kind of

hurt his own career. Well he does stuff that you go, like I try to explain it to people, I'm like it's like having a dog that you love that occasionally will piss in the house. And you have to go like, ah. When he pisses, like the Kobe joke was like a piss in the house and you go like. That was more like a shit all over the house.

And like you step in it. You got diarrhea. It's all over the house. That was a shit and walk in the house and you go like. That was more like a shit all over the house. And you step in there. You got diarrhea. You got diarrhea all over the house. It's all over the house. That was a shit and walk in the back. But it was interesting to watch how people responded, like comics responded, cause the LA crowd. Watching comics come out and talk against him was insane.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was when I felt like Ari became a true New York comic. Yes. Because all the New York comics were like, yeah, it was unfunny. Also it was crazy to do it, but like, whatever. Well, everyone to Ari's face was like,

you fucking idiot. Right, but then there were some comics who were like going on social media to be like, I can't believe you did that. That felt like more the LA people. Yeah, because he was like, if that's how you feel, then come and talk to me about it. And that was a legitimate point.

Because I was with him when that happened. People were like disowning him on podcasts. I mean, so crazy. And then we were like hanging out with him and being like, who? Like I remember hearing the stories about it. And you're like. I remember somebody wrote to him

and wrote something nice and supportive. And they're like, I can't believe these people would do that to you. And then they came out against him. And he was like, this is even worse. Talking about both sides of your mouth when someone gets in trouble like that like that's what I kind of feel like we're getting away from that's good with the death of the industry. Yeah. Is that you don't have people talking like

industry and then coming to you and being like I didn't mean all that. Right like saving face kind of. Yeah like. Like I needed to do that for my career. Yeah like that's that's why I think it's so funny when you see the comics that are like Oh, am I gonna get canceled and there's like that's not a thing anymore. No There's no machine to get fired from Right, but it's all your patreon and your YouTube following and you know what? I got I remember on the special came in like last week sometime and I guess a week ago on Tuesday

and this lady wrote to me and was like, you're gonna get fucking canceled bitch. I'm like, from what? Netflix put it out. Yeah, you know when you start comedy and your family members that don't know about comedy go like, you should try to get on SNL. Right, because they don't really have it work.

And you go like, oh yeah, why wouldn't I go be on the biggest fucking comedy show of all time? Of course. Didn't even strike me. That is the equivalent now of people going like, you're gonna get canceled. And you're like. And they're so happy too.

She's like, bitch. Yeah, but you know that's like that woman, she carries that with her. I guess, but you're just like, good luck lady. Yeah, fucking cancel. Get people, get eyes on it. I would love that. Get. I guess. But you're just like, good luck, lady. Yeah. Fucking cancel. Get, get people, get eyes on it. I would love that. Get eyes on it. Yeah. Go, go storm the Capitol. Yeah. I mean, that's hilarious. Go do it. Go get fucking, get nuts. Get, what are you going to get? You're going

to... It's so funny. I thought I would get a lot more hate. You thought so? Yeah. And it has, were you disappointed? I'm disappointed. I think enough people haven't watched it. That's probably what it is. No, I bet disappointed? I'm disappointed. I think enough people haven't watched it. That's probably what it is. No, I bet people, I honestly think, I hope, I think we're getting away from the point of like getting mad about creative stuff. Jokes, I hope so.

Like TV shows or music. It's like, remember when we were growing up and Al Gore's wife was like trying to say that fucking like rock and roll and rap and all that shit. There's a parental advisory that was Tipper Gore. That was like Al Gore's wife being like, you shouldn't cuss. You shouldn't talk about sex or whatever. And I remember being a kid and being like, how do you get lame like that?

Like, how do you grow into something? I think it's just like you're pandering to an audience. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. You just need somebody to be like, good job. But now what's funny is I think the pandering has flipped from liberal to conservative. Well, that's what's gonna happen, I think. Now everyone panders to conservatives to get,

because it's like the most popular, I mean, you saw it the election and shit. Sure. It's like very popular. And so it's easier to go like, sorry, bro, I'm a patriot. You're not patriotic enough. And you're like, what the fuck? Patriotic enough. I would never fight for this country. I have to be honest. I would I would want you as a general in our army. I saw what's funny is I used to work and this is what that reminds me of.

I still work at Honda. Yeah. And that's like a job where like they they tell you all these lies to get you to do it. Like what? They're like, you're going to get like one like $150 a week or whatever it's where they said they were gonna give us paid training which we never got really we never got and I was like young I was like 22 23 maybe yeah and then when you work there everyone that's they're like we don't want you to get any sales for six weeks you're like you're giving me 150 bucks a week and then if you do get sales everyone that works there is mad. Why? Because they work there

longer and they should get those sales. So I reached a point where I was like I hate these people. I'm against them. So this guy comes in and he's like his daughter's name is Adrienne his wife had just died this like little Italian guy and I go I'm on your side I'm gonna tell you everything they say. So I go to them and then I would go back to them and be like, this is what they say, but I think we can get less money. I just turned against these people

and was working against them. And that's probably how it would be as a general. Yeah, you'd be like, by the way. I'd be like, Mexico's close. Let's all fucking leave. Yeah, by the way, they're not even, there's not even gonna be an attack. We're gonna play volleyball.

Exactly. All day. We're gonna play volleyball all day. Let's just play poker. Yeah, guys, honestly, let's raid Saddam's palace. We'll take all the gold for ourselves. And then we'll just hang out in the palace. Yeah, that was like that movie Three Kings where they're like going to steal the gold and you're kinda like, I like these guys.

I get it. I always like when people do, that's always so funny, because like this idea of like raging against the machine and like being there. And then we went and saw a rage against the machine when they're at Madison Square Garden and there's all these like bankers, there's all these like dudes and like button down shirts, but they bought rage shirts at the merch thing.

So they're wearing it over their button down shirts. And they're like sitting there and being like, fuck you, I won't do it. You tell me you're like, you're the machine. Yeah, you're the person. You're not. But that was, that's like where there be like fuck you. I won't do what you tell me you're like you're the machine Yeah, you're the person you're not but that was that's like where we're at right now where people are like You're technically the machine. You're not raging again. Yeah, I'm also seeing a lot of guys in crop tops Really? Yeah, I seem like to walking here showing belly showing belly and nice. I don't know I assume so I Feel like if you're young now, you can fake being gay to get pussy. Right. Remember how someone wants to turn you?

Yeah. Well, you remember how when we were young, you would always be like, oh, that gay best friend is probably pretending because they can play with your tits and shit. But I feel like that's like that isn't that's how you get girls. That's a strategy. That's like probably how you get girls is you go like, I love penis. And they're strategy. That's like probably how you get girls. Is you go like, I love penis. And they're like, no, like this. And you're like, I guess. And then slowly you're like thinking in your head,

you're like, I could turn this guy. Yeah. And then he's just really, really. And he's really like, he like leaves and it's like Kaiser Soze, he changes his walk. Yeah. And he's like. Takes his clothes off.

He's like, Marron, that fucking pussy. He's like. He's like, I had to pretend to love sucking cock back there. He's like, whatever, I, Marron, that fucking pussy. I had to pretend to love sucking cock back there. He's like, whatever, I did too, but it ain't gay. He'd like to get you in the door. You know what I mean? I am seeing the rise of a lot of guys wearing crop tops. All right, we're gonna stop that.

We're stopping, stop the crop. So I remember I had this friend that was trans. I didn't know she was trans. I just thought she was tall. I did not know. And she would wear shirts showing her belly. And I was like, that's such a weird thing because women have like shame. Yeah. And she had none. And then I found out she was trans and I was like, oh,

that's you need shame to be a woman. Yeah. You know, that's old programming kicking in. Right. She just had a belly shirt on with a belly. Yeah. She's got dude energy. I was just shocked by it, because I've never seen a woman outside of like black women, I've never seen a woman have a gut and show her gut. Oh, like, well then that whole like mid teens, where everyone was like body positivity,

where they started being like, yeah, fat girls, show your lumps. This was before that though. Really? This was probably like 20 years ago. So that was shocking to you. And then when I found out she was trans, I was like, oh.

Got it. You carried over some of that old programming. Cause her and her partner, they were gay. And then she was like, oh, I'm on her insurance. And I was like, how? Gay people, and she's like, there's a loophole. And I didn't figure out the loophole. Really?

Yeah, I didn't figure out the loophole. Damn. I wish I was smart. When you see someone that pulls something smart like that, you're like. I just didn't realize it the loophole. Damn. I wish I was smart when you see someone that pulls something Realize it at the time. That's so I really feel like I got hoodwinked Do you remember where you were when you figured it all out? Were you like I think I think someone I think I posted a joke about trans people and she got mad We got into a fight about it and then I was like And it wasn't even a bad joke, But like she was just like against me.

Have you had lost friends because of jokes? No, because anyone who's my real friend would not be upset by jokes. Did you ever lose someone that you thought was a friend and then they got over a joke? Yeah. I had somebody. This isn't the same thing. We're not really friends, but she said something about like being upset by the

Puerto Rican joke. She goes, I thought we're friends. I'm like, first of all, I became friends're friends. I'm like, first of all, I became friends with you after I taped that. Second of all, we're not real friends. We work out together. So chill out. And also I was like, are you really upset by that? I'm like, if you're not upset about everything else,

I said you're just a faker. Well that goes back to that Tipper Gore thing. I'm always blown away by people that would get mad at rock and roll or mad at music where they're like, I can't fucking stand it. I remember when Columbine happened, I was living in Colorado on their blaming on video games in Marilyn Manson. And they were like, listen to Marilyn Manson.

And I remember being like a teenager, being like, how fucking lame do you have to be to make us a song and make you do something? Also, if you're doing something because of Marilyn Manson, aren't you just going to dress like him or do whatever he's doing? You're going to I don't think you're going to like going to hear a Marilyn Manson song and be like, I should shoot all the kids in my high school. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. That's always funny to me. That's how I feel about jokes, too. I'm like, I don't think it made you do anything. I do wonder if like what these kids are doing before they're going into these schools.

The hype up. Are they listening to music? I think you got to get Mallory Manson. You know what? I think they were right. Full circle moment. You go, son of a, it did get me in the mood. Yeah. And they're like, cause really if you found out someone got hyped for a shooting, listening to like your special, you would almost be like, would you be a little honored? Would you like, Oh, I don't know. I would be surprised they weren't listening to music. Yeah. Music hypes you up for stuff. Music. You'd need to be like,

somebody told me that, and there was like a homeless encampment in Toronto and people were listening to my special on a Bluetooth thing. I love that. I know. I was like, I've reached my audience. Yeah, you're gonna have a legion of fucking, of just outside people. Yeah, that can't come inside. Yeah, you gotta go, you gotta take. I'm gonna do outside rallies.

You gotta take the shit outside. You gotta take it to the camps. Probably for money. Or for like hobo money, which is like bread and like bottle caps. They really said that someone was listening to somebody. Somebody like wrote that in one of my comments. That's so fucking, I was like, that is really funny. That is very funny. And also like,

I like that. I love it. Yeah. Cause they're, they're like, you're bringing them a little comfort. Sure. And they're probably like, yeah, a lot of this stuff is actually true. Yeah. They go, I love it. Nobody cares about it. They go, it's funny cause it's true. Now I'm going to a lot of this stuff is actually true. Yeah. They go, I like it. Nobody cares about it. They go, it's funny because it's true. Now I'm going to go sleep under this fucking turnpike. Yeah. Let me go fucking eat a fucking sandwich. All right. Can I have five hours?

I never thought about it like this. Now let me go to sleep outside. Do you ever get like a good pitch from a homeless person to give you money? Oh, yeah. Almost guy asked me for 50 bucks. That's so specific. I know and I was like, are you crazy? He's like, how about five? Yeah.

And I was like, that is kind of smart. I still didn't give him money. He got you. But he probably got money from somebody. I remember one was like, a guy was like, I need $17 for a bus to Buffalo because my family is or whatever. And I remember being like, oh, there you go.

Like, here's three bucks towards the 17th. There was no bus. No, there was no bus. But in your heart, you feel like you did the right thing. Yeah, and then later when I was mad about it, I was like, what I should have done is gone, I'll go with you to the bus stop and we'll buy the ticket together

and that guy probably would have stabbed me. I was taking the money that I had. Do you remember Parkside Lounge? Yeah, of course I remember Parkside Lounge. So I was looking for a parking spot, these girls standing in the parking spot. And then she gives me the parking spot and then she's like, hey, I just got out of the hospital. My boyfriend beat me up or something.

She's pregnant with twins. And I was like, whatever. She's like, will you buy me something to eat? And I went and I bought her something to eat. And was she mad about it? No, she's like, will you buy me something to eat? And I went and I bought her something to eat. And was she mad about it? No, she was like, I'm gonna name one of the twins after you. Oh!

I don't think she did. You don't think the twins made it or you don't think she named it? I don't think she named after me. It'd be funny if one's like Kadija and then Adrian. Yeah, that's so funny. I'm here to help this white lady. Kadija and fucking Adrian?

And they go, why do you name Adrian? And she goes, she bought me a sandwich. She fed one of you. She's the reason why we lived in New York. But also she had a fucking sick parking spot at Parkside Lounge. Such a good parking spot. I mean, are you kidding me?

That's a tough place to get a parking spot. I spent $17 on that lady. It was a sandwich, a sandwich and an orange juice and almonds. Almonds are such a good source of protein. For sure. That was for the babies. That's my good deed.

That's a good deed. I'm not gonna lie. And then I seen another homeless person, I was like, I just bought that one something. Yeah, you need to get receipts from homeless people. I just got that one. Then you start carrying them around, so you go, no, no, no.

I'm good. I'm good, and they go, all right, we'll catch you on the next round. Next time. Next time. I'll stay in the parking spot next time, and then you can get it. The special, The Dark Queen, you on the next round. Next time. Next time. I'll stand in the parking spot next time. Then you can get it.

The special, The Dark Queen, out on Netflix right now. Go watch it. It is some of the best standup on Netflix right now. It truly is. It's like, Adrienne is so fucking funny. I love your jokes. I just am so happy that you, that Louie directed it and Ari produced it. And it just felt like I was so happy to

find out you were doing it. When you sent me a cut of it, I fucking watched it immediately and loved it. It's it's awesome. You're awesome. And I've known you forever. And this is just like, we're really old buds. Yeah, we came up in this together. Yeah. And I'm really like, you're one of the people that when when people get stuff, you're like, finally, fuck yes. That's how it should happen instead of watching people manipulate the algorithm or steal jokes.

Also, if you know how to manipulate the algorithm, let me know. Yeah. I have no idea. Yeah. I posted something on, and I don't have a big following on Tik Tok, but my view, my, I got like 13 views on something. I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah. What? Yeah. What the fuck? There's like dogs eating stuff to get more views. following on TikTok, but my view, my, I got like 13 views on something. I'm like, what am I doing? There's like dogs eating stuff to get more views.