Soder - Adult Posers with Mark Normand | Soder Podcast | EP 6

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

This episode Dan is joined by comedian Mark Normand. They talk about how everyone is really just a poser. Growing up in New Orleans. Public School vs Private School. Getting in trouble as a teenager. The Mark Normand high school years. Growing up in Colorado. Trying hard to fit in with people as you become an adult. Mark's goth brother and hillbilly friends. Mark Normand the college years and more! Drop us a rating on itunes and subscribe to the show to help us grow. Dan is on the road all 2024! Get tickets @ https://www.dansoder.com/tour JAN 5 & 6th, 2024 - Baltimore,MD Sat, FEB 3, 2024 - Stamford,CT Sun, FEB 4, 2024 - Manchester,CT Boston | Feb 17 2024 FEB 22 & 23rd, 2024 - Cleveland,OH Thu, FEB 29, 2024 - San Antonio,TX MAR 1 & 2nd, 2024 - Comedy Mothership - Austin,TX Follow Mark Normand https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/?hl=en Connect with me! Twitter: https://Twitter.com/dansoder Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dansoder Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dansodercomedy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dansoder Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@dansoder.comedy #dansoder #standup #comedy #entertainment #podcast Produced by  @homelesspimp  https://www.instagram.com/thehomelesspimp/?hl=en

When you get angry, do you get southern? When do you get southern? I've always wanted to know when you turn southern. Only in the bedroom. Really? You're like, oh, that's some good pussy. Yeah. Oh, that's some, oh, you're pussy like a swamp in July.

Hot and wet. Yeah, yeah. I've always wanted to know if you like go off and have a creole accent yeah well my lady gives uh like some rough heads i'm like oh you bite like a gator oh now watch out now oh you gotta paw some hands on that did you like katie's from boston and she had to work on not having a boston accent oh her and her brother don't have it sometimes it pops out do you did you have to work because your parents don't really i never Sometimes it pops out. Do you, did you have to work? Because your parents don't really have that.

I never had it. I grew up in that kind of liberal hub in the middle of the city. You grew up in New Orleans. In the city. Like in Treme. Yes. Like French Quarter. Right outside the quarter.

My parents had a bed and breakfast. So we had all these kind of weirdo Japanese businessmen, hippie, dippy, orgy. So you were like Forrest gump yeah yeah it was like you're like you showed elvis how to dance yeah it's like a politician that's like young mark norman gave him that i do declare but so were your did your friends in that area have thick accents uh some of them. We called them coonasses. It'd be like a white guy with a camo hat with a hook on it, like a fishing hook.

And then he had boots in the back of his truck. Yeah, so we had them around. And those were like swamp boys. Swamp boys who lived like a half hour out but would drive in to go to school. Because Sean Patton's from Slidell. Yeah. And he's brought up the same kind of people.

Oh, really? Where he's like yeah coon asses yeah they're out there there's all wildlife and fisheries guys you know they wear boots they wear tight jeans they do dip growing up in denver we grew up in the suburbs but you would have eastern colorado hicks yeah that would like go to your middle school and they would show up in like pickup truck like get dropped off in a pickup truck. Oh, yeah. They'd have cowboy boots on. Yeah, we had the same group, but it just had that Cajun spice running through them.

Did you have any friends that were from the burbs that started talking like that where you're like, remember in middle school where you're like, why are you talking black? Yes. You don't talk like that. Oh, we had a lot of that, and we had the guys who would pretend to be coon asses.

So that was the thing. Those were the posers. Yeah, because girls liked it. They were tough dudes. Really? Yeah. Were they the first to dip? Oh, yeah.

All that shit. First to dip, get laid, fist fight. They could skin a fish. So let's say you and your friends are having a party. Bless you. Let's say you and your friends are having a party in high school, and they come over. Oh, it was bad news. It was bad? It was bad it was bad

you're like all right the mood changed because these guys are here now because honestly the first time i remember sean patton brought it up to me we were we were somewhere and i was like whoa chill chill chill like he was like yeah these coon asses you're like damn all right no no real louisiana but they're white dudes white dudes white guys yes who are just swamp people swamp guy they have one silver tooth back here you know those types yeah yeah they always had a knife on their belt which which one of your friends first started acting like that that you were like you're not a coon ass I don't want to say his name but he bought a big pickup truck he got it lifted and he would uh put mud on it you know to look like he went mudding out there in the swamp. So he would go, he would go like mark it up.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And he'd be like, oh, saw out down on there with the gator and stuff. And then he goes home. He's like, mom, are we having soup? Yes, he was that guy. Yeah. Because I think a lot of us, especially our generation, you know, we're both in our 40s now, but like we saw hip hop when it was mainstream.

Rap was like, we grew up with rap. We were like the first generation to grow up with like Dre and Snoop, Biggie, Pac. Like we were kids then. Yes. But you saw white kids struggling for an identity. Oh yeah. And they were like, well, I'll act black. Yes.

It's like they're adding seasoning that you're like, that's not your seasoning. No, big time. Your name is Caleb. Yeah. You know, relax. And you watch them be like, that's not your seasoning. No, big time. Your name is Caleb. Yeah. Relax. And you watch him be like, ha, ha, ha. Yes, yes. What age do people drop that?

Is it mid-20s? I know. And then do they do that at Thanksgiving? Like, yo, fam, hand me the yams or whatever. I want the big piece. You know what I mean? Yeah. My dad would hit me with a piano leg if I did that.

I didn't know that that regionally like the way you're talking about these guys that act like swamp people uh list would always bust balls of people that were from boston that would act like they're from southie oh yeah yeah i can go kid and he's like he doesn't i'm not gonna say which comic but there was a comic when we all started hanging out that would do an over-exaggerated boston i know who you're talking about it would make list furious yeah yeah he fucking hasn't lived there for 15 years yeah well the real one is more subtle you can feel if you're like pack the car you're like get the fuck out of here when they say like drara or something fucking stupid and you're like that's not how you talk the worst is when they type in it they'll text you and you're like uh

car and you're like get out of here you're like, get out of here. Come on. We know what you're doing. Yeah, there is a comic that types in a Boston accent. Yeah, yeah. We both know that. You're like, ugh. But Colorado was, we're so boring.

Uh-huh. Because there is no, like, swamp people. You got the boulder hippies. Well, that's what it is. You see people act like cowboys, or you see people get way too into like mountain life. Yes. Where they're like, I'm a snowboarder skier. And you're like, you go like once a year.

Yeah. So a couple of my friends were super into it. And they always resented the people that were like, oh, yeah, I got my pass. That was the big thing. Oh, the pass. I got my five mountain pass. The lift. Yeah.

And they'd be like, I don't even. My friend Joel snowboarded he would leave school to go snowboarding like in the afternoon him and mike and a couple of my buddies would like drive up and go snowboarding and then i was kind of one of the people that'd be like yeah i went and i'd go like once a year yeah you don't even do that but i would admit it right because i think that's the safe if you're like young and you're looking for an identity, admit that and I think you're okay. This is going to get controversial.

Let it rip. But I think that a lot of this like non-binary, that's goth now. Yeah. You know, my brother was goth. He had the fingernails. He had half his hair black, half his hair white. He had the eyeliner.

How is he older or younger? Older, older. Really fucked up kid. But did you... I'm fascinated by this. Vegan before vegan. My dad's like, you gotta eat meat. He's like, fuck you, dad.

And they're going out at the dinner table. What launched it? What launched him being goth? Well, he was always a sensitive kid. Sure. And all that big reader. How much older is he than you? Two years.

So not different. So it's not like you were like 10 years younger where you didn't see the change you didn't notice it i saw the whole thing he was like uh we would fist fight his kids and he would start crying and be like fuck you and all that so he was always slamming doors and cutting you know really oh yeah when i went skateboard he went goth and people don't know this about norman norman can fucking legit skateboard wow now i'm 40 now i'm speaking as a poser i'll shit blood if i try to do a kickflip i was i was a

poser i never skated really i never skated never but i i hung out with them and like me and uh my friend mike mcdaniel we hung out with the skaters but we never skated didn't have a skateboard no i know but i'm admitting it this is me this is for anyone that's like how can you guys talk shit about these people i'm admitting where i was wrong dan poser i was a poser i bought a mongoose didn't know any didn't know any bmx tricks those things aren't cheap either well i saved up for it oh you still didn't learn i still didn't learn it's like marrying a sp Spanish woman and not learning a lick of Spanish. And not fucking her. I didn't.

Dude, I used it for transportation. Yep. That was it. Man. I just liked the culture. Yeah. I liked getting high. Sure.

I liked smoking cigarettes. I liked kind of being bad without being bad. Yes. Yes. I liked the fact that the preppy kids looked down on us. Right. But in a way of not like, it felt like being like, yeah, you up there in your ivory tower. Right. But I wasn't skating.

But that's so weird because we were all the low self-esteem losers. Yeah. I felt like I couldn't play lacrosse or whatever. So we skateboarded. I think that's what it was i just didn't have any self-esteem so i was like oh well i'd hang out with these kids but then i was too big of a pussy to do any of the crimes that they were doing oh yeah like today we did crazy shit yeah and mike and i would just hang out and be like

yeah like the crazy like the only thing that i did that was nuts was asking adults to buy us cigarettes oh come on i didn't have that problem doing that yeah yeah we would uh do yahoos you ever do yahoos oh that's where like four of you go into a 7-eleven and one guy goes which way is third street and we all yell yahoo grab a case of beer and run out oh all right that's kind of fun it was fun we got shot at once they called them uh smashing grabs oh that's the new term, right? Well, that's what we would call them back in eighth grade. Oh, really?

Yeah. But we didn't smash anything. Well, the plan was always go in. One guy goes in. Yeah. Creates a distraction. Yeah. You try to pull the shop owner out of the store. Uh-huh.

And then you can grab everything you want to. Oh, nice. But what he would do is cigarettes were still on the counter. Remember when they still had cigarettes up on the counter and the, uh, they would go in and grab cigarettes right off the counter to try to get the guy. Yeah.

But my friend Mitch did it one time. It might've been Mitch or Nick. I forget which one did it, but they grabbed a cigarette and the guy had a club ready and fucking hit their arm as they were reaching. And they were like, ah, like ran out and then they tried they wrecked his truck trying to get him to come out and mike and i just were chilling outside on our bikes on lookout yeah yeah but we were being pussies and it didn't work yeah so they just like fuck this dude's truck i mean he's like 13 year

old kids and you're like man that's why I get nervous around teenagers in the city. Oh, they're terrified. They have that thing of like, I'll go fucking nuts. They got nothing to lose. And it's all that dick energy. They're just full of jizz. Your balls are just so full. They're like, I got to destroy something.

It comes out in rage. Yeah. I'm so full of life and like nuts that I have to destroy something. Exactly. Well, back in the day, they just go to war. And now we don't do that. Did you smoke weed or cigarettes? The skaters were the ones, that was the group that,

at least where I grew up, they were the first ones to get fucked up. We got so drunk. I never touched the cigarettes I couldn't afford. And then weed was, I was already an anxious mess, so weed just elevated that, which was bad. So I would just booze. That's probably for the best.

Yeah, yeah. I look at my friends who wake up and smoke weed and it looks so fun they're at a party with a joint if i did that i'd be in the corner crying can i tell you right now as a guy that does that a lot of times i'm very anxious how do you do it i don't know because when it does work it's great yeah when it does call me when i'm here at home playing video games, just hanging out with her and the dog, great. I'll get high and bump into a comic that I haven't seen in a while, and I'm like, oh. This is my hell.

Yeah, and it sucks. It does suck. All the bad thoughts go up. The good thoughts are gone, and they hate me. I said something stupid. It's all insecurity. And they're remembering it. Yes.

When did you start boozing? Oh, geez would just uh get after it a lot of mad dog 2020 a lot of uh that was gonna be my follow-up question was what'd you start drinking squeezy bottles of vodka the the the the plastic you know the handles or the mccormick's oh yeah all that shit irish name vodka you're in trouble it's gonna be bottom barrel and you're gonna be in big fucking trouble you got that right we used to drink because when you when you get into drink was it the skaters that got you into drinking yeah pretty much and i went to a catholic high school you know so my i went to public hard yeah i went to public my whole life my dad's like it's getting a little dicey your grades are horrible we're putting you in a private school now what what grade was that that was ninth grade so going into high school yeah so

to change high schools public my whole life and uh friends got beat up some kids went to jail one kid od'd really so yeah at like 13 yeah heroin heroin heroin i know two guys who died of heroin and one died of methadone new orleans was a dicey place well that's also the thing is you're in a fucking city a boozy party city you're in a party city i was in a suburb of denver right laura is just a suburb of denver so you're like the stuff that got to us was regular suburban oh yeah weed booze as we got older ecstasy broke when we were in high school but cocaine wasn't even around until my senior year oh yeah so the fact that you knew people dying of heroin in middle school it was bad i always say new orleans is vegas with better

food and black people that's funny you know and it's it's just everything is just and then you go to north vegas and you go the black people are in vegas oh are they okay my friend lived in vegas black dude that lived in vegas and you like he's like, you don't go to North Vegas. Yeah, yeah. He's like, it's fucking, it's real shady. Are there gangs in Vegas? There's a lot. Oh, really? Vegas is a real,

outside of the strip, it's a shithole. Yeah. Because it's in the desert. It's desert. Everything is about gambling, sex, it's all,

it's accurate to call New Orleans like Vegas. Yeah. Because there is like an element of tourists are coming, dumping in money, getting fucked up. Yep. So I bet there's a lot of great schemes in both cities. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, growing up, if any guy, if every guy comes up and he goes, but I can tell you where you got your shoes.

Dude, I fell for that. Yeah. I swear to God, I fell for that in New Orleans where he goes, I can tell you where you got your shoes and you go, where is it? What is it? On your feet? On your feet. Then you got to give the guy money.

And he goes, now give me money. And that really is the thing that happened. It works all the time. My uncle did it to me. Really? What are you doing? Yeah. You're like a fucking family.

Yeah. What did you, when you're growing up in New Orleans, are you like, I'm going to leave New Orleans? Because where I grew up in the burbs, it's easy to leave the burbs right because you go like give me the fuck out of here well it's hard because all your friends want you to lose you know it's like all my friends now are line cooks and mechanics yeah growing up one's a fireman and he made it yeah you know but like uh they don't they they're like you're doing comedy on stage what are you some kind of theater fag and i'm like i try to be funny and they're like but you're not that funny and you're like all right i guess i'll stay here have you

noticed have they stopped talking to you the more successful you've oh 100 when i moved to new york they would fuck with me and put my phone number on craigslist and be like oh he's giving away a ps1 and i would get all these calls and my phone would blow up and i'm like god damn it they couldn't they couldn't resist but when you talk to him was it like was it a sense of like ah we're just busting your balls because you moved over there like fuck you no who are you to leave we were still cool but it was tension like i'd show back up for thanksgiving let's get drunk and then after eight beers i'm in a headlock and they're like you think you're better than us you know so i just had to cut it off i mean i would probably say in the last five years you've really fucking gotten on like you're really you're one of the top guys well now

they're cool with it now they're like hey we came back around yeah we went to high school with this guy he was a good friend so once they know you yeah yeah now it's you had to get there yeah but the the beginning was hell yeah because they're like who the fuck are you oh dude they shot up my house with paintball guns once i mean it was great it was crazy you transfer to the private school yeah and the friends that stay at public school do they feel betrayed a little but you could blame that on the folks yeah you know and that was a big transition for me like uniform chapel praying i was you know my parents are big hippie atheist queefs, you know, so that was weird. So you go into this thing,

you're like, I don't know what any of this is. Especially if you're not raised around religion. No way. Then you're like, wait, I have to do what? I know, and you had to go to assembly, there's a marching band. We didn't have any of that shit. How close were, now growing up, you're in the French Quarter growing up, how close is the private school to you?

Not that close. So you have to take a bus, or a parent drives parent drives my dad would drive me and he made it very known that he hated it really he was like when i was a kid no one drove me to school and like all right we do this every day dad trust me dude i don't want to go yeah i don't want to go and he would always have boxers on because just like that's how little commitment he wanted to put it in and he would have one hand in the shorts and one on the wheel no yeah my dad was a ball grabbing son of a bitch all day long on the way to school yeah but from the bottom in you know man that's huge huge balls on my dad yeah crazy big sack on the guy crazy and then was your brother just in the back crying yeah yeah yeah when did your brother because you watch your brother go into being a goth. Yeah.

When did you watch him come out of it? I think college hit, and he was like, all right, well, I got to grow up. What am I doing? He just scrapes the fingernail pain off. Yeah. You know what? Life is pain, but it's a subtle pain. Yeah. He went to a public school, and he got beat up within like two days.

Yeah. And my parents took him out, put him in the smart kid school. Okay. And then he became goth because it was safe if he went got to the other school they would have killed him smart kid school you get to really experiment yes smart kid school alternative high schools uh-huh did you know any of those kids no no my friend mitch though saying his older brother went to like the alternative high school and you were like oh he's too live for public school. Right, right. Where they're like, we got to send you to a place where,

it's almost like juvie but school. Yes, exactly. And those kids would come around and you're like, do not fuck with them. No, no, no. They already are on their way out. Yeah, yeah. We had a couple of those.

These two twins would terrorize the city. I'm not going to say their name because I'm still scared of them. Is it like Rougeau? Yeah, similar. Is it like Rougeau? Yeah, similar. Is it like, oh, it's the Thibodeaux boys back again. The Boudreaux twins. Oh, Saint-Nopal, the Boudreauxs.

It's like fucking half French. One is dead now. He got killed in a bar fight, I think. And the other one, I think, is a cop. Really? They would just show up at parties and just start havoc. I think their dad beat the shit out of them but yeah always what it is January 4th through the 6th gonna be at the port in Baltimore come on out working on new jokes gonna hang out have fun to start off 2024 danceorder.com for full dates and cities I'm gonna everywhere. So we'll see you in the year 2024. Hope you have good holidays, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, all the hits.

Happy New Year's, and we'll see you in 2024. Thanks for listening. Always what it is. Always. Always what it is. This guy that was one of the scariest guys, and I won't say his name because he's still alive, I think. One of the most terrifying. He was a year older than us.

And he hung out with like, I grew up where I grew up in Aurora was very safe. It was suburbs. There were a couple of bad kids. It was middle class, like dead middle class. I love middle class. But North Aurora kind of closer to Denver was got real bad. Yeah. And one of our guys at our high school hung out with the dudes were like, they would come

down to where we lived and you were like, you can have the run of the place. No one's fucking sticking up. And there was this guy, and I'll say his name because it's not a real legal name. But there was this older Mexican dude named Spider. Oh God, I'm already scared. And he drove like a hoopty. And he was like, he was a boy man. I'm a man boy now, obviously, with all the fucking poison shit you can see. He was a boy man i'm a man boy now obviously with all the fucking poison shit you

can see i'm he was a boy man like he was a man when he was a boy stash at 13 and like hardcore like what the fuck you looking at oh yeah did not fuck with him and one time me my friend dennis and mike mcdaniel the head coach of the Miami Dolphins. Wow. Yeah. He's the one that like, he's the one out of all my friends that's successful. Yeah. So me, they're like HBO.

Right, right. They go, yeah, Mike's on HBO right now on Hard Knocks. Yeah. Cool. But I did mine with Silly's. We're chilling in, you know, like freshman year year high school you would just like want to stay outside oh yeah you just did want to go inside definitely adults were inside yeah adults were the rules were inside yes as long as you stayed outside but we were chilling we were i think we

were all sleeping at mike's house we stayed stayed at mike's house a lot and it was me dennis and mike and we see this cadillac come down the street and take a left. So go away from us, like towards my friend Joel's house. And we're like on the driveway and we're like, Oh, I think that's spider's car. Oh God.

As soon as we say that the car does a U-turn, it starts driving towards us and goes across the street, comes up the driveway where we're sitting oh god and we bail we go over the fence yeah dude they chased us into the backyard and it was him and he got to the point where we went in mike's back door shut the door and locked it and this guy spider and andy were at the door going what What do they want? We have no idea. Oh, my God. We have no idea.

We ran upstairs, and then Mike's parents were like, Who's in the backyard? And they took off and left. I think they were just scaring us. I think so, too. If you ran at 14, someone would chase you. That was just the rule. How fun was that?

I hated it. Because he's running, get him. And you're like, what did I do? Yeah, but we would do that in the burbs. What you would do is we'd make it look like people were fighting. Yeah. And then the car would pull up. And then we'd all split.

And that was like the rush. Oh, that's fun. That was like the prank thing. But it's weird how much you get chased between the ages of 10 and 15. Well, there was no phone. So you're like, that guy's running. Chase him. There wasn't like, ah, I'm scrolling here.

Yeah, that's how the kids stop it now. They go like, whatever. Yeah, I got a notification. I'm getting a notification. I'm getting chased. Yeah. Four stars. But really, if you think about it,

it's the worst group to chase is 10 to 15 because they're agile. Yeah. They can fall and get right back up. Yeah, yeah. yeah we can hide in little cubbies and shit chase 35 to 45 that's a win groaning we're sighing we're gonna get winded right right learn learn which of your prey to chase well i feel like my most of our childhood was fear yes like you go to the party say the wrong thing you get chased by this guy you got

l spider oh it's on your fence you know so that was a big part of it because there was nothing to do but taunt torment or be tormented and without phones you were in it you were in it every day you were in it god the bus did you have to ever have to ride i never did the bus dude i'll tell you right now man bus stops are a microcosm for all of that you go to the bus stop there's a pecking order you're scared like the cool kids are in the back of the bus it's like jail it really is and it would be like i think that's what really got me smoking cigarettes was because it was an immediate status upgrade he's like oh soder smokes wow he's hanging out with all the skaters like right you

wouldn't get picked off if you're in a group well it's like the Aryan nation yeah like I guess I gotta go with these you're like I personally like black and brown people but I gotta keep my my ass safe in Rikers yeah I'll get that swastika tat bring it on I would prefer to do the shamrock but I'm not gonna murder a guy inside yeah yeah yeah that's like i mean you grow up in a place like did it seem crazy to you at the time like oh we're in new orleans or you're just like nah this is just where we grow well i'll tell you what it would happen is when you go to your friend's house in the burbs and he'd leave his bike in the front lawn the doors open his mom's got orange slices you're like this is heaven yeah this is amazing so our boredom was your heaven oh my god just safety and that freedom

of just like oh yeah the bikes are fine you're like what are you kidding they're gonna they're gonna take the wheels off yeah and they get stripped down yeah when did you start hanging out in the burbs a lot how old were you high school you would go out to the burbs just like sleepovers and parties the catholic school you meet kids from the burbs yes completely and that was huge that was huge. That was eye-opening. What was their reaction to coming to where you lived? Some of my friends' parents wouldn't let them sleep over.

They would drive up, see the house, and be like, let's get out of here. This is crazy. No way. Yeah, call them. And this is for cell phones. So you would drive up. They would keep driving. No way.

And I was on the porch like, what happened? You had friends bail on sleepovers? Yeah, well, you had these crazy soccer mom ladies who were just like, oh, this is too dangerous and then i grew up in this crazy uh dilapidated mansion so they're like you're not sleeping there on the window flapping yeah and there's a trans guy with a wig at the front door yeah your brother is sitting there with bloody arms yeah you got a frankenstein fucking butler he's recreating the crow outside. He's like, sorry, beware. All that lives here is pain. And you're like, that's Mark's older brother.

We're fine. Yeah. Do you ever make fun of your brother for being goth? Nah, nah. I don't want to hurt him. He was very sensitive. I mean, obviously. Yeah, yeah.

He wasn't playing a part. No. He actually did find his right group. He did. If you're sensitive enough. He actually did find his right group. He did. If you're sensitive enough, Goth could be where you land. But Goth had that weird through line of rage of like, more human than human. That was going through his head all the time. He's got a fucking Rob Zombie riff playing.

Right. Because you do got to pump yourself up to cut yourself. Yeah, good point. Good point. No one relaxingly goes like, ow. Yes, yes. You got to be yourself up to cut yourself. Yeah, good point. Good point. It's just like no one relaxingly goes like, ow. Yes, yes. You got to be like, oh, oh. So you put on white zombie.

Right, right. I'm going to fuck you like an animal. Yeah. Just nine inch nails and machine rock. Yeah. Did you ever, when he came back from being a goth, were you ever like, good to have you back? A little bit. Yeah, yeah.

You know, like, hey, we're watching a movie. It fun yeah good times and now he has kids he's just a dad now yeah that is that is interesting because you we're all grown up now yeah so to see the people either go through the phase where they act black or they're goth yes or they're the coon asses yeah it fizzles out but i mean that's gonna happen with kids now like oh i thought you were uh bi trans gay and they're like well i identify as just a bored kid now yes i've evolved out of it or whatever i mean did your friend that acted like a swamp a swamp guy did he come back oh yeah oh yeah well again he had like a nice house rich family so eventually you just go like i'd like to have money and you know a car and yeah hang out you wonder if the effort isn't worth it after a while totally just wake up one day and

you're like yeah i'm not gonna talk like that yeah well that's how strong that you wake up you're like yo my man i'm sorry yeah yeah well that's how strong it is to want to fit in you'll you'll go that far yeah you'll wear a costume you'll andrew dice clay it i mean i remember for me i tried to fit in by playing football i mean i loved football and i wanted to play football but i really thought like oh i'll fit in by playing football and then i wasn't good yeah i could like hit hard but i wasn't like good at the sport yeah and then that's kind of how i was like oh oh, I'm funny. And then by the time I was a junior or senior year, I was like, oh, I'm just like a funny stoner guy. Yeah, that's a fun group too.

But it is a fun group. And you kind of feel more comfortable. Of course. Well, that's what comedy was. Remember when you first started doing comedy, you're like, my people. I can say anything around you guys. I remember when you hung out with Joe List

the first time. Joe and I hung out a couple nights later because you were hanging out with Matt Ruby. Yeah. Because I knew Ruby when I first started and then you moved here from New Orleans. We all moved here in 07, right? Did you move here in 07?

Yeah, late 07, wow. Because I was here at the beginning of 07 and I met List when he moved in the spring, but I would hang out with Ruby, List, our friend Joe Alexander, and then you showed up, started hanging out, and I remember List when he moved in the spring, but I would hang out with Ruby, List, our friend Joe Alexander, and then you showed up, started hanging out, and I remember List and you hung out, and I remember specifically what he said.

He goes, hey, he's one of us. He goes, you just want to talk bits? You want to talk about old specials? Get drunk? Get hammered and go do horrible mics? Yes. And then try to sneak into the cellar to watch Geraldo or fucking a tell

those were the days there's mooching free booze drink tickets drinking whatever's on the bar going to going to like um what what was the mic that uh ochi's lounge oh yeah sean donnelly ran that the basement yeah but it really was a thing of like i remember meeting comics talking about meeting your own it was the first time i met grown dudes that I could talk professional wrestling with. Oh, yeah. That immediately I wasn't called gay. Totally. That was nice.

Everyone I knew in Arizona, everyone I knew in Colorado, I'd be like, bring up wrestling. And they'd be like, what? Yeah. And comics were the first. Also, comics were the first people that I met that admitted to playing with action figures late in the life. Yeah, good point where i was like oh we all we're all nerds yeah we're all nerds of a different breed that's what it is that come together we're all nerds and it it was comforting because we're all thinkers yeah we

don't judge so sorry a little semen yeah we don't judge so quick like like if i asked you like you think pedophiles who fuck little boys get made fun of by pedophiles that fuck girls? And then you're like, and then it's an hour conversation. Now it's out to count. Do they call them gay? Yeah. Or is that, like, the veal of pedophile?

Exactly. It's like boy butt better than little girl pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These are the things we want to discuss. These are the things our pedos, like, six year. Oh, yeah.

Can they tell the difference with a kid? You don't want a kid that's athletic. It strains the meat. Yes, yes. A little flabby. Not a fat kid, though. Yeah. So we can do that. But you do that at the quad in college.

And people are like, this fucking guy is a pedophile. He's a weirdo. You know what's weird is, because where did you go? You went to LSU. Yeah, I failed out of three colleges. Really? What three schools? I went to LSU for 10 minutes, failed out of there, because that's actually a pretty good

school. Yeah. And then I went to Southeastern, which is in Houma, Louisiana. Houma? Yeah, yeah. No Houma. And then I went to UNO, originally New Orleans University, failed out of there quick. So I finished up online.

Nice. Yeah. Did you go to Phoenix University? No, I couldn't even get into that one. You got DeVry? Yeah online nice yeah you got a phoenix university no i couldn't even get into that one you got to variety yeah basically i got a baton rouge community college baton rouge which sucks because now you're in the town of the university yes yes but i'd still go to those parties that's great and they're like what are you majoring in i was like do you cheer for lsu oh yeah oh yeah because you technically you're like i went there Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because you technically, you're like, I went there. Kind of, yeah. My friend Joey grew up in Colorado, never even been to Louisiana, huge LSU fan.

Go Tigers. And I, go Tigers. But I remember going there and being like, I bought a merch and I mailed it to him. And I was like, but you didn't even go here. I know. Why am I doing this? Stolen valor. But I do that with University of Colorado. I never went there, but I grew up loving the Buffs.

There you go. And so when Dion came back, when Dion took over i was like i love the buffs yeah but i did feel a little bit it was you know what it was adult poser i felt like an adult poser there you go if we don't call this episode posers we're really fucking up yeah parker poser yeah but i remember when i went to u of a i went to arizona and i wasn't i didn't fit in yeah i didn't fail out because my mom made it like pretty clear like please for me get a college degree that's the same she's like i don't give a shit what you do with it so please give me that degree but i did not like the social scene it was too fratty it was too rich kids from san diego and long island i just didn't i had my friends i definitely made friends i had some good friends but i immediately started doing radio and comedy and when i found the comedy club and i got comfortable there that laughs that was my party oh right i'll go on a thursday night everyone would go to the

bar i'd be like well i'm gonna go do the mic yeah or try to get a guest set right because that was big that's huge wait so you started young i started at 21 okay i started my junior year of college was where i started doing stand-up man so is that lake havasu is that over there havasu's in arizona okay but i never like, spring break for me would be like, oh, I can go do the road. Wow. I can go host at Laff's Albuquerque. Wow. Or go do, like, here's where I was lucky starting in Arizona.

A lot of casino gigs. Really? So they needed openers. Yeah. And I want, you know, it's kind of like when we started hanging out in New York, we would go do whatever mic we could. Sure. Wherever there was a mic, we could do it. That's kind of like when we started hanging out in new york we would go do whatever mic we could sure wherever there was a mic we could do it that's kind of how arizona was yeah they were like you can do this fucking the desert diamond casino but it's gonna suck and you're like i'll do it yeah of course like can you do 30 you're like yeah but you can only do

eight wow you got great exposure quick but not to good comedy. Dude, I love hanging out with you. Hey, is it over? We rarely do it. That flew by. Yeah, but I told you when you were like, what's the podcast? I was like, this is it. This is great.

I was going to ask you questions I've always wanted to ask you. Well, it's good because some of these pods are going to come in with a poem and a haiku and it's all this story bullshit. And we're going to edit it down to one premise. Oh, really? And then we release that.

He's a fucking wizard. Yeah. But that's what I mean. We're going to get it where it's like a nice, tight, concise. But for plugs, MarkNorman.com.

MarkNormanComedy.com. MarkNormanComedy.com. Some realtor cunt got Mark Norman. Piece of shit. Yeah. One of the best working stand-up comics out there.

A true mensch. A guy that loves comedy in a way that's... I love watching him write jokes. I love watching him work jokes. He's always been one of the real ones. Oh, man, jeez. MarkNormanComedy.com. Listen to Tuesdays with Stories.

Yes. We might be drunk. And Protect Our Parks when it happens. Oh, yeah. We're back on next week. Are you? Yeah, those take a week off your life. We just go so hard.

I mean, you guys do four hours. Four hours of shrooms, booze, pill, coffee, sometimes Molly. Actually, that sounds incredible. And that's just what Ari puts in your drink when you're in the bathroom.

I love you, dude. Thanks for coming by. Hey, thanks for having me. Yeah, marknormancomedy.com and yeah, bye. I'm Kevin Hart.