Some More News - Even More News: One Side (Or The Other!) Is Going To Win
Episode Date: June 14, 2024Hi. On today's episode, Katy, Cody, and Jonathan discuss the Hunter Biden conviction, Samuel Alito saying the quiet part out loud to himself but also to everyone, and Donald Trump's attempt to take hi...s shark/electrocution routine on the road. Go to https://ground.news/SMN to stay fully informed. Subscribe through our link for up to 40% off unlimited access this month. If you want to replace your multivitamin and more, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first subscription at https://drinkAG1.com/morenews. Colostrum is the first nutrition we receive in life and contains all of the essential nutrients our bodies need in order to thrive. Receive 15% off your first order at https://tryarmra.com/MORENEWS or enter MORENEWS to get 15% off your first order. Blueland is on a mission to eliminate single-use plastic by reinventing cleaning essentials to be better for you and the planet, with the same powerful clean you’re used to. Blueland has a special offer for our viewers. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to https://Blueland.com/MORENEWS. Timecodes: 05:53 - Likes are now hidden on Twitter10 - Performing the secret Alito recordings35
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome back to Even More News, the first and only news podcast.
And you are oh, my name is Katie Stoll.
Thank you. Hello, Katie. I'm Cody.
Hi, Cody.
What's your last name?
Debatable. It's Johnston.
Hi.
Just realizing how close your last name is to Jonathan's first name.
Jonathan, who is also here.
One of the sounds is the same.
Cody Johnston.
My last name is really close to Johnson.
Cody Johnson being a pretty popular country music.
And Johnson is also.
Oh, Cody Johnson.
Cody Johnson. Yeah, he's a country guy.
I get DM sometimes like I saw you in Nashville.
There's Jonathan Harris, who's a country singer as well,
but I've never gotten a DM of someone thinking I'm him.
Come on folks, DM Jonathan, say you just saw him in Nashville.
Come on.
There's a Katie Stoll who is a marriage and family counselor and she's never DMed me.
No one's ever confused me, but I have seen her when I've Googled myself.
The people who have the same name should start DMing each other
Exactly. Yeah for sure. Well, nobody's been like hey, I need help with my marriage
I would be like cool call into my podcast. We'll get into it. See you in Nashville
Yes, this is an advice a marriage and family counseling podcast now
Uncredentialed would that work for me? Is that a thing I do? Work like legally or just do you think you'd be good at it?
I mean, like, I think if the show is called Uncredentialed, it can't hurt.
Oh, jotting that down, adding that to the list.
Before we started this, I thought about doing something like that.
Not uncredentialed, but being an unqualified, unqualified, unqualified, actually, I think I was
pitching on.
Yeah, the idea was unqualified.
Anyway, there's lots of shows like that.
Unlike the news shows, which there's only one of.
Yeah.
Oh, and I might as well acknowledge
that we are experimenting with filming this week.
And we are going, if all goes well, we are posting this video to our Patreon to see how it goes.
Yeah. If all goes poorly, we will cut me mentioning this.
So too soon to tell or lose, lose.
It might be cut. Well, we're going to have a show regardless.
That's true. So anyway, we do have holidays to celebrate in.
They're kind of fun.
OK, this week kind of fun.
Friday, June 14th, National Pop Goes the Weasel Day.
Celebration of the nursery rhyme.
Jonathan has included a note
for once this old song does not have a racist origin celebration of the nursery rhyme. Jonathan has included a note.
For once, this old song does not have a racist origin or racist original lyrics.
Huzzah.
I added the huzzah as far as as far as I can tell as far as Jonathan can tell.
Here are the original British lyrics.
I don't know the tune.
Half a penny of Tuppany Rice. I'm sorry.
You don't know the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel.
I know the last one.
Pop Goes the Weasel.
I know that part.
Half a pound of Tuppany rice.
No. Half a pound of treacle.
That's the way the money goes.
Pop goes the weasel.
That's like listening to Kamala Harris sing the wheels on the bus.
How dare you?
The wheels on the bus go round and round.
As someone who's
I've heard the wheels on the bus every day for the last 14 months.
It doesn't go like that.
And it's very easy to remember.
It doesn't. How it goes.
And then it is.
This is visual.
What's the tune?
It's almost the opposite of what she does.
The weasel is da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Oh, OK. And then that again.
I do know this. Yeah. Yeah.
OK, can I try again? Go for it.
Half a pound of Tuppany rice, half a pound of treacle.
That's the way the money goes.
Pop goes the weasel
I mean, oh great
To you my face was in reaction to like deciphering the lyrics and what this song is
Yeah, Taylor's flat iron which is a a clock reel, which is like a way for reeling in yarn
or potentially the animal, a weasel.
I think it's the weasel. I would have assumed it was just a weasel, but why is he going up like in a gopher?
What is it? The.
Why can't I think of the name?
Whack a mole like a county shop the name? Whack a mole.
Like a Caddyshack.
Whack a mole.
Yeah, moles.
Cause it's like the lyrics prior,
half a pound of Teppany rice, okay.
Half a pound of treacle.
That's the way the money goes.
Obviously that's their shopping list
and they're spending money, obviously.
But then the weasel comes into the equation.
Maybe it's a pigeon situation.
You know, if you feed rice to pigeons, they they explode, explode.
So maybe it's a similar thing with weasels.
Cool. Maybe they used to call pigeons weasels.
I don't like the thought of it.
Maybe any of our friends from across the pond have information.
Let us know.
None of our friends from this side of the pond, though, I don't want to.
We hear from an American.
I swear to God.
I swear to God.
To where to God.
Guys, did you know that likes are hidden on Twitter now?
I did.
I did know that.
That is fun. Good for everybody.
They can be a little freak.
It just gets worse and worse there.
But I don't go on very often.
We've established that the one thing, you know that, uh, how social media,
like the one thing you don't want to do on social media is like share the kind
of things you like. You know, like I hate, I hate when,
I hate when you're on social media and you're like, you know what people like,
right?
You just want to improve your algorithm to see all the stuff that it would be detrimental to your life if other people knew you wanted to see kind of things.
I got to keep it secret. I will say there was a phase where a lot of relationships.
What Instagram used to allow you to see like who what accounts people have liked or, you know, commented on this person's.
No, there used to be a separate feed where you could see it.
Yeah, I remember that.
And it busted up some relationships.
It busted up some relationships could be like,
now, who the fuck is this, Carl?
Mm hmm. I would posit that the solution to that is
maybe like behavioral changes amongst those people
instead of hiding the likes. Yeah, I mean, it's a disservice to people that
probably got out of some relationships sooner than... Also, like, I don't know, I used to,
I guess I don't anymore, there's some accounts that I just go to their likes to be like,
what's going on? What's a good, what's a good, what's, what are some good tweets out there?
I mean, you could just say what's good.
Yeah.
Not what's some good.
Anyway, yeah, I go to see people's likes to see what's good.
Not anymore.
Not anymore, I don't.
Anyway, live off.
I also don't go on Twitter much anymore anyway.
My life is better for it in many ways.
News got you down.
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Well, we've got some news to talk about.
Do you want to talk about the news?
Yeah, I do. I'm like really chomping at the bit.
Do you really want to talk about the news? Yeah, I do. I'm like really chomping at the bit. Do you really want to? Yeah.
Okay. Now it is time for some real big boy news.
Some big boy news.
Hunter Biden has been convicted. What a month we've all had.
Two people convicted, yeah.
Convicted. Two people convicted. The very first time a member
of a sitting president's family has been convicted.
I love it.
It's such a it's such a conservative coded way to describe what happened.
Like, you know, that thing where they're like, oh, so like, what is it?
What's the the tweet?
Like, it's a crime to like make plans with your friends.
But like the charges conspiracy.
I just love describing like two people got convicted this month
and that's all the information you need.
One was a former president.
One is the current president's son.
I mean, two people being convicted by the criminal justice system in the same month.
What are the odds? What are the odds?
Incentismal.
Why don't you tell us what's going on?
His hunter was found guilty on three federal felony gun charges.
It's the stuff that we talked about in our episode.
We said he'll probably be convicted of his stuff.
Well right, it was like an hour and 20 minute episode about all the Hunter Biden allegations,
but like, oh, this gun stuff is the only thing where there's evidence that he did a crime.
It's real.
Yeah, it's a real crime.
It's the real thing.
Well, anyway, he lied on a federal background check form about his drug use, which he was
filling out to purchase a gun.
And then the third felony count was for possessing a firearm while using illegal drugs, which
is illegal.
And the Second Amendment crowd is, they are fuming about this.
They can't believe that a law abiding gun owner was made unlaw abiding
just because of his personal drug use.
I'm kidding. Thank you.
I said anything about it. No, no, no comment. Interesting.
No, they're probably mad that they're using lawfare in the wrong way or something.
Do lawfare the way I want.
They don't like it in this.
Yeah, they're not. Yeah.
It's interesting, the arguments that are not being made because it's Hunter Biden.
Apparently, there is another case
not about Hunter currently making its way through the courts. And it has to do with drugs being an argument. This could be a Second
Amendment rights case pertaining to drugs. And like, it's like, okay, if somebody uses
marijuana, are they not allowed to have a gun and whatever. So there, I don't know the specifics of this case. I was just
listening to a little brief synopsis this morning and apparently that could potentially
help him if they appeal, uh, whatever the outcome of that case is. However, not good for his other cases in terms of being convicted
felon going into those others.
Well, but there's not a lot of evidence for no, there's that
any of the laptop Burisma stuff, especially connecting.
We're going to find it, But we're going to find out.
I'm sure there's got to be evidence, right?
There's got to be because it's got to be.
It's all definitely true. So there's got to be evidence.
I'm sure five years later, someone will find a file linking Joe Biden,
not the vice president at the time, to a bunch of stuff.
The big guy. Yeah, the big guy to a bunch of stuff that Hunter was doing.
It's too bad because on the list of things you could feasibly impeach Joe
Biden for, they're really going for, you know,
the one that doesn't exist as opposed to like the stuff that they like,
which is.
Oh yeah, no, it's, it's very absurd. absurd. At the end, like focusing on, well,
what about the like the Biden crime family?
It's such a funny phrase to start introducing.
Like nobody used that phrase or even implied anything like that
until probably like three years ago.
And now, like, there's just this it's the Biden crime family,
and they are deeply entrenched in all the crimes across the globe.
And Hunter is at the center of it for the big guy.
But you need to have a piece of heaven.
Yeah. Yeah.
But it's a rich law.
We'll find it. Well, they are going to go for it, right?
They are going to keep going for it.
Charlie Kirk and Vivek Ramaswamy and several others have suggested that this Hunter Biden
guilty verdict is an attempt to legitimize Trump's conviction and make the system of
justice appear balanced.
But it's all a smokescreen.
Don't fall for it.
You sheep. Well, it's like one of those things was like.
You sheep. Well, it's like one of those things was like, I mean, in a way, maybe like in the sense
that like he's like, well, we can't protect my son from the crimes that he did.
Right?
Like if there was no conviction or attempt to investigate this clear crime, then it would be bad that the president stopped it from happening.
So like the idea like, oh, he like gave the green light. So like, it'll seem impartial. Well, it's not that it that there's this coordination timewise of these cases.
That's not like really how like cases work. Like there are even these the ones that we want to
actually happen against Trump that aren't going to happen now. There are all these delays and there
are different kinds of delays for different reasons in each of the cases. It's not like,
okay, so we're going to make sure that when Trump is convicted of the things,
we're gonna make sure that within a few days,
Hunter also gets convicted so that it all happens at once.
Like that's just not how the justice is.
They're not puppeting it like that.
I mean, if they control it.
Unless they are, in which case, Masterful Gambit,
great job.
Right, the lizard people are really working
overtime right now.
No, if they could, we would not have had the Stormy Daniels trial come first with Donald Trump, I would imagine.
But yeah, you're right. I mean, to me, this is some gymnastics of, you know, trying to spin it.
Because, okay, if there were some legitimate crimes for Joe Biden, for them to make a case about, presumably
we would be doing that.
Well, they've had so many different investigations and committees brought together to look for
...
Right, this is what I mean.
There's so many clips of representatives and GOP officials being asked point blank,
like, okay, but what have you found?
And they just cannot answer that because they haven't found anything.
And it's just like, I keep coming back,
like nobody said Biden crime family.
It's an invention, it's an illusion.
It's a little ghost that they've created.
And whenever they're asked to like show
like a vial of ectoplasm, they're like,
but the ghost is behind you.
Like they just have to keep pushing this this idea.
Also, before I like, I don't even know how much time you spend on Hunter Biden.
It's such a distraction from like real problems.
But I do we didn't really talk about this.
And I wanted to just sort of touch on it briefly after the Trump conviction.
I've seen it a few times. I see it more and more.
I see it obviously.
There's like this Joe Rogan clip where they talk about it.
And I've seen it amongst like the Charlie Kirk's and all these different guys,
I guess in quotes, these different guys.
And basically talking about how like, wow,
like Trump being convicted some form of either like now black
people support Trump because he's a
convict too, or something like, oh, like now people are finally seeing that like
the like the system is rigged or like, look, like Trump's like they're going after
Trump and they'll go after you and all this kind of stuff about like the justice
system. And it's gonna it doesn't matter.
It's all gonna the the conversation is gonna go away
and people move on.
But it's, I just want somebody in that room to be like,
hey, isn't that extremely fucking woke of you
to talk about how like black people
are disproportionately like imprisoned
and like the justice system is biased
against this group of people.
And you acknowledging that and saying,
they're doing it to Trump now too.
Isn't that like extremely woke to even like, like dance around those
ideas like they don't believe that but they have to say it and then they take it and they
turn it into like the most racist version you could possibly do.
It's such a weird like you're taking like this kernel of truth, which is like the justice
system is fucked up and then being like, and every black person loves Trump now, right?
Right. They made it racist. The point that they want to make, which is, I don't think
very accurate that his numbers are surging on black people because he got convicted.
It's not applicable to Trump situation, obviously even like what's on. And like, yeah, there's no bump that is.
They added racism to it to say, like, oh, by the way, this demographic,
especially rappers love Trump now because of this conviction,
because he got railroaded by the justice system, but also because he's a gangster.
Right. They're like trying to have it both ways and both ways are wrong.
And one way is wrong and racist.
It's so, it's so wild to see. And then they move on and it's like, well, again, it's
like, it doesn't matter. They're never like, they're not going to have to like, contend
with any of that. It's just, it was fascinating to see briefly that they just like got wrong
both times and racially once.
OK, moving right along to even more news.
Yeah, even more is on the way. Check out our likes.
It's the news.
Alito recording is next up.
It's fun. The story that doesn't stop Alito.
This fucking guy, This fucking guy.
Jonathan, set her up for us.
It's a real example of that.
So there's a progressive activist, her name is Lauren Windsor, and she pretends to be
conservative.
She goes into conservative spaces and secretly records herself talking with politicians and
other conservative leaders.
She doesn't really hide her identity.
She gives her real name and just pretends to be conservative.
And people say remarkable things because they like talking about themselves.
So about a week and a half ago, she went to this event
at the Supreme Court Historical Society. Sounds boring.
Sounds official.
Sounds like maybe there's like an expected sort of decorum
and ethical air about the attendance,
specifically the Supreme Court justices
maybe should act a certain way at an event like this.
Cody's take is better than mine.
We'll go with that.
Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito
were in attendance and Windsor presented herself
as a Catholic conservative who's very concerned
about the left and what do we do about the left and secretly recorded both of them and
publish the conversations.
Should we perform it?
I think I tried to cut some of these down and I do think it's worth reading the Alito
stuff first because then we can contrast Roberts.
Yes.
I'm going to read Windsor.
Go for it.
Cody or Alito, I don't know.
Here, I'm gonna get my monitor like a script.
What I asked you about,
no, that's too much, bring it down a notch, Katie.
What I asked you about was about the polarization
in this country, about like, how do we repair that rift?
And considering everything that's been going on
in the past year, you know, as a Catholic, and as somebody who really cherishes my faith, I just don't know that
we can negotiate with the left in the way that needs to happen for the polarization
to end.
I think it's a matter of, like, winning.
I think you're probably right.
One side or the other, one side or the other is going to win.
I don't know, I mean, there can be a way of living together peacefully, but it's difficult
because there are differences on fundamental things that really can't be compromised.
They really can't be compromised.
So it's not like you're going to split the difference.
And that's what I'm saying.
I think that the solution really is like winning the moral argument.
People in this country who believe in God have got to keep fighting for that to return
our country to a place of godliness.
Oh, I agree with you.
I agree with you.
And scene.
So it's remarkable, not remarkable.
It is a little like shady to be pretending to be somebody completely different.
But he said it.
I have no issue with this approach.
I mean, it's it was so easy.
I don't really have an issue with it.
To get him to say it.
It's definitely like it's one of it's like I don't think I've seen people
compare this to Project Veritas stuff, but I wouldn't even view it as that
because it's just a very serious event of a bunch of
serious people with their serious jobs being like politely asked to like, and again,
we will contrast this with what Robert says, but he, I don't know,
Alita is pretty blatant about how there's no compromise and one side is going to
win.
And their fundamental differences and things that can't be compromised on is not
a great thing for a Supreme Court justice to say.
Even if they think that, there's this element of like,
I'm not saying, like there have been Supreme Court justices
who would have agreed with this, right?
Who have had these feelings and thoughts,
although Alito's pretty far out there comparatively.
But at the very least in a situation like this,
not because you might be recorded,
but because you're in public representing the court,
you don't answer a question like this, like this.
You don't say anything close to this to anybody.
Yeah, I think that's a pretty critical point
because I don't want to be in the position
of judging someone by what they may passively agree with at a party or something. He might
feel awkward. He might not know this person. Okay, fair enough. But there is this way that
Supreme Court justices are supposed to conduct themselves in public.
And I suppose it's a good thing that Alito is kind of pulling back the veil and saying,
I don't really care if you know how I feel.
I mean, yeah, I'll blame my wife for putting up the flags that are that definitely
Don't agree with the way most of this country feels right a lot of this country's conservative Not a lot of this country is Christian nationalist
Mm-hmm, maybe a quarter which feels like a lot but still that's not the majority and so he's not even caring about that
so now
Maybe we should read.
Let's do it. The conversation.
OK, so you be Windsor and now Cody is not Sammy Lolito.
Cody is John Roberts.
And you got to put on a totally different face.
I got. Yeah.
If you're watching the video, you can tell I've got my wigs.
I've got my costumes.
My makeup has changed.
The transformation is remarkable. Thank you.
They call me Cody.
And action to myself.
I guess I wouldn't say that it's not like it's an innovative thing, it's not new.
I guess I really feel like we're at a point in our country where the polarization is so
extreme that it might be irreparable.
Oh, I don't think that. What an easy thing to say immediately.
Easy.
Oh, I don't think that. Polarization that extreme is like the Civil War. We did that. During Vietnam,
people were getting killed. And I mean, I was there in Vietnam. This is all right. I mean, it's not all right,
but it's not like it's as dramatically different.
It's a common thing people with their own perspective
think this is so extraordinary.
Eh, I don't know.
But you don't think there's a role for the court
in guiding us toward a more moral path?
No, I think the role for the court is deciding the cases. If I start, would you want me to be in charge of guiding us toward a more moral path? That's for the people we elect. That's not for lawyers.
I guess I just believe that the founders were godly, like we're Christians. And I think that we live in a Christian nation and that our Supreme
Court should be guiding us in that path. I don't know if that's true. Yeah, I don't know if we
live in a Christian nation. I know a lot of Jewish and Muslim friends who would say maybe not. And
it's not our job to do that. It's our job to decide the cases as best we can.
I would go a step further than John Roberts here when he says, I don't know if we live in a Christian nation and would have said we don't live in a Christian nation.
Oh, sure.
Specifically do not live in a Christian nation.
It's kind of like our thing.
Yeah, it's kind of our thing.
But even to that, like it's that, you know, like John, what you were talking about were like, oh, you're at a party
and like this person is coming up to you.
You don't know them. And they're like talking at you and you like,
there's like a half agreement sort of thing you do just to like end the conversation.
Like, oh, you know, this is this.
There's a politeness there that Alito like jumped way, way, way far beyond
and like did reveal a lot.
But even that, like, I don't know if we live in a Christian nation. That's John Roberts is polite way of saying, no did reveal a lot. But even that like,
I don't know if we live in a Christian nation,
that's John Roberts' polite way of saying,
no, we don't.
We're not allowed to say that or think that.
And for all you can say about John Roberts,
he did a pretty decent job of responding to
this conversation.
A person who was presenting themselves
as a Christian nationalist
wacko. We wanted the car to guide us towards a more moral path.
We are not Robert's fans here. Just putting that out there. I'll be. But if you had a chance to
vote for Samuel Alito or 98% Samuel Alito,
I think you'd have a moral obligation to go with 98% 98% Alita.
I do think it does seem like Roberts.
Cares more about his legacy as the guy who tried to bring everyone together.
Keep it together.
The guy who's trying to help his side win.
He seems to want to toe the line.
Yeah, right. Even a lot of the how he comes down to cases.
It's like, I mean, somebody does come from like his actual interpretation.
But like sometimes like you're like, it's the Hunter Biden
conviction of Supreme Court rulings, where it's like,
you're doing that to throw him a bone,
so it balances out these other ones.
Oh, speaking of which, we should mention that this morning,
the Supreme Court unanimously upheld the FDA's approval
of Mifepristone that gets sent through the mail,
which is very good news, and I've seen it suggested
that they're just kind of clearing the way
for some really bad news for the left coming tomorrow.
And if that happens and you're listening to this, we don't know about it yet.
And we can't talk about it yet.
Also, somehow we called it.
So, yeah, but we did enjoy a bit of the amuse-bouche of that particular ruling right before, I guess, the meal of shit that's on the way and if it doesn't happen, oh
Great, you're living in a better world and we are
Pretending exists right now. I don't know. Thanks to the Supreme Court
for the good news. Well
This feels like a really good time
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I don't know why I did that.
Why did that knocking me?
I mean, I can me like, you know what?
Like, you know what?
We turn on these cameras and you get all sassy
sassy and like my brother or something.
This is so annoying.
We're just it's not annoying.
I was like, this is what we getting the vibes. I was getting the vibes. And you did. Thank you. Vibes are so annoying. We're just, it's not annoying. I was getting the vibes back.
I was getting the vibes back.
You did and you did.
Thank you.
Vibes are so important.
It's true when the camera goes on, I do turn into a really annoying person.
But I shouldn't have called you out on it.
I do too.
It's okay.
It's okay.
We love each other very much.
Jonathan, what's next?
I already know, but what our audience doesn't.
Oh, sure. So we wanted to talk about.
Well, we've talked about this already in the on the podcast in the past,
but we wanted to talk about the latest time that Donald Trump
during a campaign rally talked about this shark versus electrocution
debate. Yeah.
Or this bit that this bit that he does this this this tight five that he's got about sharks and electricity.
This was actually sparked because
Jonathan and I were talking about this clip and it was we both had the same experience
watching it be shared because I had seen so many people share it online like, oh my
God, he's back.
Look at him with his
like wild monologues or whatever. I'm like, he says this all the time, what are you talking about?
Like it just seems like somehow this long bit about sharks and being electrocuted
like slipped by people. But I just remember it from a while ago being like all the rage and now people are like,
wow, he's coming out with new materials.
Like no, this is the greatest hit he's digging into.
So I think I'd like to play the most recent clip.
Yeah, please do.
Before we go into the past
because there's several things to talk about
just with this clip, so.
There's lore.
We got to go through the lore.
It's because of MIT, my relationship to MIT, very smart.
He goes, I say, what would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you're in the boat
and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery is now underwater and there's
a shark that's approximately 10 yards over there.
By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately.
Do you notice that?
A lot of shark attacks.
I watched some guys just...
What's the Democrats fault?
They weren't really that angry.
They bit off the young lady's leg because of the fact that they were not hungry, but
they misunderstood who she was.
These people are crazy.
What?
I love the way I want to find the clip that he's talking about.
He said there's no problem with sharks. They talking about. I understand a young woman swimming now really got decimated and
other people to a lot of shark attacks. So I said, so there's a shark 10 yards away from
the boat, 10 yards or here. Do I get electrocuted? If the boat is sinking, water goes over the
battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the shark and not
get electrocuted? Because I will tell you, he didn't know the answer. He said,
you know, nobody's ever asked me that question. I said, I think it's a good question.
I think there's a lot of electric current coming through that water. But you know what I do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I'll take electrocution every single time. Every single time. That's right.
So we're going to end that.
Is he talking about? So I've got so many questions.
I asked him wasn't hungry. He just misunderstood that.
Well, that's a new part of the bit.
But that's I know. And I am focused on it.
There's 100 percent.
And I don't know what clip it is, but he was watching Fox or Newsmax or OAN,
and there was a clip, and they were talking about
some local news report on shark attacks,
and one of the news anchors mentioned probably,
well, they were antagonizing the shark,
or, well, the sharks do it because of this,
explaining shark behavior in some way.
And he probably took that to mean like,
oh, they're excusing it.
They're saying that it's okay that the shark did it.
Like, it's just like a telephone process
of a local news to Fox News to him.
And he's just letting everybody know
that the left thinks that sharks
should be able to kill people. Well, in this one, he's just letting everybody know that the left thinks that sharks should be able to kill people.
Well, in this one, he's doing a he's telling a story that happened sometime in the past.
And then from there, he goes off on a tangent.
A lot of shark attacks lately. You notice that you ever notice that there's a lot of shark attacks lately.
Are there? Is that a thing?
And then the shark, he's got to have learned that from some sort of like local news.
But what is the deal with the battery?
Do you know the reason why no one's asked that is because it's not a concern
anybody has about the like.
And if I'm on a sinking ship,
the last thing I'm concerned about is the battery.
I'm concerned about not drowning first and foremost.
Personally, he should be worried about not drowning. That is correct.
And I did look into it because it's possible that the boat manufacturer
he was talking to didn't know the answer to this.
But for battery powered boats, those batteries are in a watertight container.
So it's very unlikely that you would get electrocuted.
So drowning or somebody.
Are you trying to tell me that somebody who made a boat
with a battery,
knowing that it was going to be in water,
made something that would prevent it from instantly
electrocuting whoever was on the boat. If it got a little wet.
I think Trump is picturing a giant silver box with like 10 different plugs going
in and sparks flying out.
Exactly what he's picturing.
It's just like the idea of like, yeah, a cartoon from like 60 years ago.
That's when boats were made and that's when batteries were made.
And that's that's his idea of what everything is from now on.
Nothing ever gets improved.
Like no one's ever a boat's never been in water.
So how could you like predict something like that?
What a funny man. Also, shark attacks have risen. ever. A boat's never been in water. So how could you like predict something like that? Has he ever been in a boat?
Also, shark attacks have risen.
Oh, so he's rising.
In Florida. Yeah, specifically.
In Florida, specifically. Allegedly.
This does feel like a version of the bear versus man.
Bearer man. Women alone in the woods with the bearer man.
Except there's no metaphor here.
There's no point. There's no metaphor.
There's no point being made. There's no metaphor here. There's no point. There's no point being made.
There's no social commentary.
If I had to choose between the shark and electrocution, I'd choose electrocution.
Like people are seeing this.
And if they've never seen him do this bit before, they don't know it's a bit.
And he's he's workshopped it before.
And you're going to see a few different versions here.
But.
It doesn't like the reason it doesn't come across as a standup bit is it doesn't really have a punch line.
The punch line is him saying, I hate sharks so much,
which has been documented that I would prefer being electrocuted
to being mauled by a shark.
And sometimes it gets a big laugh and sometimes it does not. Because it's not funny.
No, it's not.
I mean, his delivery is good at points.
So I went through, and he, between late September
and early December 2023, he did this bit eight times at rallies.
Yes.
And there are other marks to this bit
that I had to cut out here.
I did a super cut of all of these moments and this goes from the most recent to the
least recent and I want you to give close attention to the final one because I think
you'll see why he decided to keep doing it so often after that.
So this is a little over two minutes but I think it's worth it. I'm excited. I will silently watch
I know enjoy it also
Jonathan put a lot of work into this cut this morning, so I mean everybody
Let's you know what I don't have premiere on my computer. I just have iMovie, so I had to do all of this
Jonathan you're a martyr with the whooshes and everything in iMovie
You're a martyr with the whooshes and everything in iMovie. iMovie, what a, oh, we gotta get you premiere, man.
I think I could get it, but it's too much.
All right.
So I don't know.
Adobe, Adobe, sponsor us, baby.
Yeah, but also, we get you.
terms of service.
We're very excited.
Adobe, fix your terms of service, please.
Fix your shit, Adobe.
Fix it, then sponsor us.
We're good.
Okay, here we go.
And I actually brought up a thing.
I said, so if your boat sinks, do you get electrocuted when it goes down?
He said, you know, nobody's ever asked that question.
I said, if I'm going down in a boat and there's a shark 10 yards away or I'm going to get
electrocuted, could that happen?
He said it could.
I said, well, you know what, if it's true, I think I'll take the electrocution because
I'm not going near that shark.
Let's say it sinks.
What happens to you if you're sitting on top of a boat
and it sinks and the whole boat is a battery?
Do you get electrocuted and what would happen?
If you look over there and you see a shark
about 10 yards away,
would you go for the electrocution
or would you go into the shark?
And I told them, but I know what I do.
I will take electrocution every single day.
If that boat goes down and you have a shark that's 10 yards away, so you have a choice
of a shark or being electrocuted, I will take electrocution every single day.
Do we agree?
I said, so let me ask you.
If you have a choice between getting electrocuted from the battery or jumping 10 yards away
There's a shark over there. What do you take? Because I told him what I take
I will take the battery electrocution every single time, right?
And if I had my choice between a shark and electrocution, I will take electrocution every single day. Do we agree?
I said so let's say the boat starts to sink and you're sitting on top of this massive battery and
You get electrocuted. Do you get electrocuted?
I mean, I don't want to be near that battery in the water
The problem is there may be a shark about 10 yards away and you know what I said, I'll take the battery every single time
We'll take electrocution over a shark
every single time, we'll take electrocution over a shark.
Underwater starts flooding in. Oh my God.
I'm getting concerned.
But then I look 10 yards to my left
and there's a shark over there.
So I have a choice of electrocution or a shark.
There's a shark over there.
I'm gonna take electrocution.
I will take electrocution every single time.
Do we agree?
I will take electrocution.
And you have a choice.
You got a shark that's 10,
you got a shark that's 10 yards away,
or you can go down with a damn boat and get electrocuted.
Honestly, you know what I take?
I'm taking the boat every single time.
I want the boat.
I think he wants to be electrocuted, you guys. I think he's begging to be electrocuted.
He should do some more treason.
On that last one, which was the first time he did this bit, which was at a GOP convention in
Anaheim, California, it crushes. Like people. The laughter there is uproarious with every bit.
When he asks the question, you can tell he's like he's invigorated
by the energy they are giving.
This was an event with alcoholic beverages, is my guess.
Some dinner party where they had wine, GOP lunch event to drink minimum
at this GOP event.
And he was just hitting it.
And then he tries it in Cedar Rapids,
Iowa and it's like I guess they kind of chuckle a little bit and I say, what are the chances
of getting electrocuted? Could you get electrocuted? Silence. Well, I have a weapon, there's a
shark and like the same, it doesn't hit at the same levels, I think. So, he tried it
for a few months, he stopped it in December but but now he's bringing it back. And I like
it. I want him to keep working it out and maybe he should work it out with the bit of
there are increase in shark attacks, but the left thinks that sharks misunderstand.
He needs to fine tune it. Exactly. Yeah. There's some adjustments he needs to make, obviously.
He also, I feel like he needs to really, I don't understand. I still don't understand
the story. I don't know who he's talking to. Some guy at MIT?
No. So, okay. I know the answer to this question. So, he is talking to a boat manufacturer in
South Carolina who says, sir, Mr. Trump, the Biden administration wants to make all electric boats, but the battery is so
heavy it's going to sink the boat. And then Trump brings up, won't that electrocute people?
And the guy says, I've never heard that question before, you must be really good with science.
And then he says, the reason I'm good with science is because my uncle John Trump taught
at MIT, which is true, but he brings it up all the time
as if it makes him really good at science.
That's his qualifications.
Yes, and he brings it up.
He's like, I believe.
Oh my God, I'm sorry.
A deer came right up to my window
and is staring through it at me,
like locked eyes with me right now.
If I could choose between being electrocuted
in the forest and a deer, I'm choosing extracution. I don't want the deer
Every day away from the deer. I wonder if that's a pregnant mama. Is it challenging you? Are you do you feel challenged?
No, but I feel like she's about to give birth
She's waddling around and has a big old tummy. No, this deer. Oh, maybe she's so sorry
Please keep an eye on the deer. I'm going to
Let's wrap this up.
I'm sorry.
Keep going.
All right.
Trump has a, we know he's got this obsession with sharks.
Stormy Daniels said it.
He's also brought it up in bits on the campaign trail before where people call him up and
they say, sir, we have a fund to save the shark.
And he says, no, thank you.
I won't contribute to save the shark.
He's tweeted about it in 2013.
He tweeted twice.
Sharks are last on my list other than perhaps the losers and haters of the world.
And sorry, folks, I'm just not a fan of sharks.
And don't worry, they will be around long after we're gone.
All this is to say and I, and we, what a mind.
We've talked about our best him we've talked about this
element on the podcast before where we bring up the funny things instead of the terrifying things
and this has been trending again because this rant is all over the place and kind of nonsense
but I do think it helps to point out that he would much rather be a stand-up comic
than a presidential candidate.
Like this is what he wants to do.
He wants to be an entertainer.
He wants to go on the road.
Oh yeah, that's why like, yeah.
It's his season.
He's finally, it's finally election season.
He gets to do this all the time.
Well, he's been doing it since, but.
I know, but like in terms of like getting coverage.
Oh yeah.
Like we've been, we've spent so many
of the past few years being like, he's gone, he's gone.
And even if he runs again, we just were not going to pay attention.
But it's happening now.
And he is living it up, basking in that electricity.
Also, I will I will say that the boat manufacturer saying like,
no one's ever asked me that before.
Like, I'm sure he meant it as a compliment.
But any other boat manufacturer, no one's ever asked me that before.
Some special value.
Asked me a question like that.
I don't know that he's ever maybe he did.
Maybe there's a reason nobody's ever asked me that before.
It's like, yeah, no one's ever.
No one's ever asked me that.
Asked me that before.
No one's got quite a mind like you do.
It's true. Only a mind like yours could come up with a question like that.
It's interesting.
Also at that Las Vegas rally, he made reference to the fact that several people who attended
his Arizona rally had to go to the hospital because of how hot it was and they didn't
have enough water.
So he brought this up in Vegas and he said, I don't want any, I don't, you
know, drink water, stay healthy, stay hydrated. I don't want to lose anyone. But then he said,
I don't want to lose any voters. I don't care about you. I just don't want to lose any votes.
He was being honest. But then he says, and those people back there, they'll say, I said
the most horrible thing. They won't report it fairly. And he did say it as a joke, but he also is being completely honest.
No, it's a joke that is true.
It's that that that frustrating like he's
yeah, it's a funny little freak who's also like evil
and believes half the things he says are evil, funny little freak.
You know, it's the kind of thing,
like it pops in his mind, he's like,
well, I don't really care about you.
And he says it because he knows it's funny.
Do you think if we could guarantee him no prison,
you get to live like a rich person in America,
and two, you get like a Netflix standup special
that he would drop out?
Maybe.
No.
If he would also need like some sort of like
the certificate that says like, and you won.
Right.
You got the most votes and you won,
but you don't have to do it.
Exactly.
Like you resign, do the thing,
but you won and we love you and you're awesome.
But go away.
And yeah, like tour and do like
your little Vegas shows and stuff
I think he would agree to that probably no prison. I don't want to do this. He never wanted to do this
He's he didn't want to be the president. He didn't he only wanted to run for president
They made him be the president and now the law is making me the president again
He doesn't want to go to prisonucks that we got to talk about this guy.
Yeah, it really does.
What a bad person that is part of our lives.
It's like one of those things like, but at least he every once in a while has a.
Two minute bit about sharks and.
Sharks and batteries in the ocean.
At least there's that.
But yeah, to make our position clear, fuck this guy.
What a guy.
He can have a weird quirk about electric boats and
I'm happy for him to choose electrocution.
It's fine. I love half the stories.
He was like, but what if a shark's nearby?
Like, wait, so like what if there aren't?
What are you going to do? You stay, you stick with a boat.
You're going to trust that maybe the manufacturer like took into account that
the battery might get wet, whatever.
It's like we're not going to design.
We're designing a vessel made for water that can't have water.
Anyway, they're, they're also going to get rid of our gas stoves, so I guess he's got to choose and our cows like.
Yeah, Trump should really just start incorporating.
He should start stealing other people's bits.
He should tell a story about corn pop.
Just pretend that he knew corn.
That would be fun.
On the campaign trail, call people fat, all that stuff that we knew corn. That would be fun on the campaign trail. Honey, that all that stuff that we can do.
That is right.
Rider team on the on the horn pitch of ideas.
Speaking of Joe Rogan, apparently
is once again, he popped up complaining about Robin Williams
stealing bits or whatever.
And there are all these stories.
He's me.
He would like he would like he's very serious.
I love it. He would. He would do that. Like he's very straight with this. He would he would do that.
Like he's admitted it and talked about it.
He would like. No, I refuse to accept this.
And so then you're denying his truth, which is that he would
like randomly like hear a bit and he would like say it on stage
because he's very stream of consciousness, sort of go rolling.
And when people would bring it up, he'd apologize and just give them
a bunch of money, apparently. Yeah. Yeah.
And they're like all these comedians, like being like, yeah, he stole my bit
once, but he gave me like 15 grand afterwards.
Or like somebody's like, yeah, he stole my bit.
But then he like bailed me out of like prison.
Yeah. Richard Belzer was like when I was on heroin, Richard Robin Williams
was the only person who would talk to me and bail me out of jail
so he could take
Performance with him one of my best my parents best friends
They were a comedy duo for a long time and he was my parents hung out with him a bunch He lives in San Francisco. That's nice. So I guess what we're saying is Donald Trump the Robin Williams of politics
I wonder if he bailed my parents.
Are we okay saying that out loud?
Yeah, that's fine.
We're okay with that.
Imagine Donald Trump being very hairy.
Yeah. Although you can picture him as Mrs.
Dauphire. I'd like him to do more voices.
You can? Yes, I can picture Donald Trump as Mrs. Dauphire.
Oh, 100%.
Dauphire, easy.
Especially if he does his hair like his mom did in that one picture.
You know the one.
Was it drive-by fruiting?
Yeah, he's good.
Flock of scenes.
Drive-by fruiting.
We've done it, folks.
We've arrived at the end of our show.
A run-by fruiting.
We know. Don't correct us.
There's a run-by fruiting.
We get it. Sorry, sorry.
God. Corrections.
It's been a long time. I'm so sorry.
I always thought it was drive by fruiting.
No, it's a run by fruiting.
That's how my memory is this.
That's exactly what we're being.
We're being Mandela affected.
Sound off in the comments if you think it's a run by fruiting or drive by fruiting.
It's pretty good.
Everybody, I love you so much. Damn. Fuck everybody.
I love you so much.
Damn.
All right.
That was good.
I mean, you know, like subscribe if this is something you're watching.
Check out my live stream this weekend when I'm live streaming music.
He is inching closer to doing it.
I'm inching closer.
I had technical issues and I'm figuring them out.
I'm buying devices. I bought three cords and none of them worked for what I needed them
to. You should buy the cord that you need and not the other ones. I thought I was doing
that. It's fine. So check that out folks. You know, like I say every week at the end
of every episode, keep it real. Even more news. I'm sorry. We love you very much. Much is what we say. Yaa!
Yaa!
What's good?
I'm Brian Greenberg.
I'm Victor Rasouf.
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