Some More News - SMN: Stuff We Missed In 2022
Episode Date: December 21, 2022Hi. On our final episode of 2022, we look back at some stories we didn't cover, including soup getting thrown at art, a queen dying in some sort of kingdom, quiet quitting, and br...ief instances of some good news. Please fill out our SURVEY: https://kastmedia.com/survey/ Support us on our PATREON: http://patreon.com/somemorenews Check out our MERCH STORE: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/somemorenews?ref_id=9949 SUBSCRIBE to SOME MORE NEWS: https://tinyurl.com/ybfx89rh  Subscribe to the Even More News and SMN audio podcasts here: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/some-more-news/id1364825229 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ebqegozpFt9hY2WJ7TDiA?si=5keGjCe5SxejFN1XkQlZ3w&dl_branch=1 Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/show/even-more-news Follow us on social media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/SomeMoreNews Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SomeMoreNews/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SomeMoreNews/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@somemorenews Sources: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qRGVucz4OcqnqEPmIwvXxGghj3cmLHfCeotrCsVYJJU/edit?usp=sharing Athletic Greens is going to give you an immune-supporting FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase if you visit https://athleticgreens.com/morenews today.Support the show!: http://patreon.com.com/somemorenewsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
jamaica oh i wanna take you minnesota is nice and we're gonna have a shoot hey hi hello uh shoot my
butt i totally forgot we were doing an episode i set up the camera turned on the lights and then
just poof blanked that's my bad listen hello, hey, I'm gonna level with you.
I was just packing for the holiday break.
I'm heading to sunny St. Cloud, Minnesota,
which I'm just assuming by the name
is really tropical and heavenly.
But I guess we can do one more episode before I go.
Fuck, man, you know when you have a lot of stuff to do
and it just keeps building and building and building
until your eye just feels like it's gonna pop shit,
you know, everywhere?
It's okay.
It's not your fault.
I'm just stressed out.
In fact, I got an idea just now.
It's not a pre-planned idea,
but it's where I go over some news stories
from the year that we've missed.
I don't know if you know this, but a lot of stuff happens.
And for that reason, it's really hard to keep track
of all of the stuff that happens.
And so we don't always have the time
to cover the aforementioned stuff that happens.
So in the interest of wrapping up the year
like a holiday gift, then we're going
to get the hell out of here and sip mimosas on the sandy shores of St. Cloud, Minnesota.
I am going to blast us through a nice regular episode, right? A real, a real missionary position
news sexing. No bells, no whistles, just me, you, and words. From my mouth.
Then I'm going to jet.
Okay, so here is some news.
Hey, dog dick.
I created a device that talks to ghosts.
Right, I should have known.
Katie, hi, hello.
Listen, I have a flight in a few hours, so.
Why are you dressed like a Trader Joe's manager?
Don't answer.
I won't listen.
Listen, Beardo.
I just talked to HQ and it turns out that we haven't met our random bullshit quota or RBQ for this year.
And that puts our contract in total jeopardy.
HQ?
Hell Queen.
She's my dealer.
Anyway, since it's the holidays, I figured we could do like a Christmas special or something
like that.
Don't we usually do like a Star Wars during this time?
What about Avatar, huh?
An Avatar thing?
People like Avatar.
You can do some Na'vi news.
Hard to disagree about Avatar.
Listen, this has been a very busy year for us.
So I was kind of hoping to take it easy and recharge to come strong into 2023.
Well, Hell Queen doesn't pay you to take it easy. In fact, I'm going to start by making it more
festive over there. I put a little surprise in your vents when you were getting your floorboards
reinstalled and... What? What is this? What did you just do? Oh, whoops. That was supposed to be snow.
What? What is this? What did you just do?
Oh, whoops! That was supposed to be snow.
Smells like ammonia.
Yeah, I see the problem now. I accidentally pressed the fear gas button. Okay.
Oh, whoops! More fear gas. Damn these Butterfingers.
Guess I shouldn't have done all that fear gas earlier.
Unwrapping 2022.
News we missed.
Oh, God.
Oh, terrible God.
How long was I out?
I missed my flight.
I can't feel my feet.
Great. Okay, well, now I'm fear gassed and I still have to read the news. Okay.
Well, at least the hard part is over. We, uh, we did some bullshit. We, we met our quota or
whatever. So it's time for news and just for, I don't know, let's call it fun. We're going to
see how many stories we can cover in a short amount of time.
Are you ready?
Yeah, you're ready.
Okay, here is some.
Ooh, Cody, it's me in life.
I was your partner, but now I wear the chain
I forged in life as a ghost.
No, not doing a Christmas Carol.
Everyone does a Christmas Carol.
What's a Christmas Carol?
I'm here tonight to warn you
that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate.
You will be visited by three spirits.
The first one-
Boop, passive resistance.
Okay, same plan as before.
Let's start with international news.
Put up a graphic, nothing holiday related.
In fact, make it nothing anything related.
International news.
Thank you.
Maybe we can cover some news
before the ghost of Christmas past inevitably shows up.
Presumably played by some alternate version of me.
Fucking unbelievable.
Now, one of the things we completely skipped over
here at the showdy is that-
Woo, it's me, the ghost of Christmas past.
Rise and walk with me,
for I am to guide you through the shadows of things
that have been now forgotten and so on.
Fucking unbelievable.
Okay, hi, listen, I'll be there in just a second. So why don't you
go on ahead? That sounds like a trick. No, man, not a trick. I'm really excited to go with you.
I just got to make a few phone calls and then I'll meet you outside. I'll meet you outside.
Enjoy your phone calls and so on. Idiot. Wow. We haven't even begun the show. Okay. Let's see.
Stuff we haven't covered. Oh, right. The Queen of England died. Everyone made a big thing of it,
despite her being 96. She was 96. That's what old people do. They die. Maybe don't close your
supermarkets over it or do, I don't know, I'm not British.
Sorry about your elderly teen mascot if you're British.
Okay, that about covers the queen section of this.
Hey, you know what does seem like a big deal death-wise?
That a former prime minister of Japan
was shot and killed back in July.
And while there's absolutely no way
I'm going to fully cover
this event or the victim Shinzo Abe,
it is pretty buck wild how that story just soared
right past us, especially when you consider
the motivation of the assassin.
You see the shooter had constructed a homemade firearm,
like a little modern John Malkovich.
It's a reference, look it up.
The firearm was then tested near a unification church facility becauseovich. It's a reference, look it up. The firearm was then tested
near a unification church facility
because the assassin, it turns out,
was originally targeting high ranking members
of this church.
He changed his target to Abe
because he found him to be more accessible
and because Shinzo Abe had spoken
at unification related events.
Members of the unification church,
also known as Moonies,
tend to dump their life savings into the church,
or rather, it's a cult, right?
And this was the case with the assassin's mother,
who had given over $700,000 to the cult
and drove her family into poverty.
And sorry to all my Mooney fans,
but it really seems like a cult.
As in, it was created in the 50s
and the founder believed he was handpicked by Jesus Christ.
They've been known to scan obituaries
and then ask for money from grieving families
to elevate their loved ones' spirits,
like Selina Meyer's campaign, another reference to look up.
There's probably a whole video on this that we could do
because while Shinzo Abe certainly didn't deserve to be
murdered for his involvement in this organization under any circumstances, we never really talk
about how many powerful political figures are tied to the Moonies. Thanks to the wild amount
of money they have, you know, from scamming people, Mooney events have netted such high
profile speakers as George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Bill Cosby,
and Mikhail Gorbachev.
Also this guy.
I want to thank the Universal Peace Federation
and in particular, Dr. Haque Jahan Moon,
a tremendous person for her incredible work
on behalf of peace all over the world.
Is he on Pandora?
Hey, an avatar joke.
This concludes me acknowledging that film ever again.
Anyway, of course Trump did a Mooney event
and it's a good pivot to the fact that one former Mooney
who devoted his life to deprogramming cult members
has written a book specifically
about the cultism of MAGA fans.
And while Japan is now taking the Unification Church
a bit more seriously now that this assassination happened,
perhaps we need to think about other organizations
that feed off of vulnerable people
and what kind of breaking point those groups will inspire.
Not just MAGA, but prosperity theology, televangelism,
Scientology, or really any donation-based organization
that is heavily tied to elaborate and scammy lore.
It's hard to make fun of people putting crumpets
on the queen's grave or whatever,
when here in the States,
people are dumping their life savings into a racist wall
promised by a hotel manager and his drippy henchmen.
And it really feels like this assassin and his bitterness
is a taste of things to come
for a lot of downtrodden people led astray by grifters. So yeah, can't really mock the UK for
obsessing over their queen. Instead, let's mock them over having five different prime ministers
in the last six years. Liz Truss is, of course, the most notable and recent, having lasted only 44 days
in the position. She was replaced with Rishi Sunak, the fifth Tory in a row. Tories are the
conservative party over there, I'm told by this blank paper. They've been in power for about 12
years, and while I'm not about to break down all the troubles across the pond in this video,
from what I can tell, the woes of this party
can be traced all the way back to 2016,
when some plonkers, I won't say who,
but some plonkers thought it was a good idea for England
to leave the European Union.
It was a campaign led by lies and racism
that nonetheless succeeded,
or rather succeeded because of the lies and racism.
And after the UK carried out Brexit,
it became clear there was no plan in place
to ease that transition.
It was a disaster.
Even when taking COVID into account,
by one study, Brexit significantly skull-fucked
the UK's economy.
A real cock-up, as they say. A massive wad-budger.
And according to one senior economist,
it is the reason for the current spending cuts
and tax increases happening there.
On top of that, the British pound,
which I hear is their money,
tanked even more after Liz Truss' brilliant plan
to cut taxes for corporations and the wealthy.
That was her plan, no shit,
to get the UK out of their slump.
And oopsie upon poopsie,
turns out that doesn't work.
Turns out that conservative nationalism
and obsession with rewarding the super rich
doesn't actually help the economy.
And we should remind all of the silly sods
supporting Brexit that their good ideas are actually
bad ideas.
Here's one of those silly sods, for example.
So I guess what I'm wondering here is how long we're going
to let conservatives make dipshit decisions that always go
wrong before we finally realize that they make dipshit
decisions that always go wrong.
Do we have a timetable on that one?
Holy smokes, we have to do ads already,
and I'm not even done with international news.
Maybe if I break my own arm,
I can get out of here early, actually.
I'm gonna try that, but if I don't break my arm,
do know that there's gonna be some good international news
to cover after the ads,
so don't go anywhere unless I successfully break my arm.
Well, hey there.
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Oh no.
Oh dear God, no!
Do I!
Look at us, we're back.
Tried to smash my arm, but I kept stopping
at the last second and bursting into tears.
You know how it is.
Work stuff, am I right?
Also, someone's been knocking on my door during the break.
I think that Christmas past guy can't figure out
how to get into my house.
I'm not gonna let him in.
So that's at least some good news.
And here's some more good news,
specifically good international news.
Canada banned conversion therapy,
joining over a dozen other nations.
Maybe that's something we should look into here.
Maybe it's really effed in the ear
that we Yanks still haven't banned that.
Do Canadians call us Yanks?
Or they have like another word for us, gun hosers,
maple slag, healthcare not havers.
I'm honestly not sure what else to say here.
It's important to mention this particular good news
because it's an example of progress
happening around the world.
A ray of sunshine cutting through the cracked septic tank
that is America.
Gosh, I am in a mood today.
Similar good news, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva was elected in Brazil, literally beating the pants
off of his opponent. Lula is a former metal worker and union leader who can be credited with lifting
roughly 19 million people from poverty. His leftist policies got Brazil off of the UN World Hunger Map,
and he was considered one of the most popular Brazilian presidents. He did this with the Bolsa
FamÃlia program that basically paid low-income families a monthly amount based on how many kids
they had. Weird. Weird how giving poor people money solves poverty like that. It's almost like
creating welfare programs
elevates a country as opposed to massive tax cuts
for the rich.
But specific to everyone,
Lula also gives a shit about stopping deforestation,
something he ran hard on this time around.
You see, there's this thing,
it's called the Amazon rainforest.
And it's like super important for the Earth's survival.
And that rainforest is in Brazil,
the place where Lula was elected.
So it's kind of sort of extremely good
that he says he actually cares about preserving
that whole rainforest dilly.
Of course, he now has to like actually do stuff about that.
And as anyone who has done stuff can tell you,
doing stuff is hard. Speaking of, who has done stuff can tell you, doing stuff is hard.
Speaking of, there's still, there's still,
there's so much to cover.
Who knew the world would have so much news?
I didn't even mention everything happening in Iran.
The civil unrest due to the police murder
of Gina Massa Amini for not wearing a proper hijab
and how it spawned even more horrendous police murder.
Not sure what to say about it,
at least in such a short amount of time,
other than maybe don't fuck with women and young people
in general when it comes to their rights
to control their own bodies.
Seems like an evergreen statement
that can apply to a lot of things.
As of writing this episode,
there's been confusion over whether Iran is going to disband the morality police that carried out the murder. Also, the government just
officially executed their first protester. Wow, what did they even do to deserve that?
Iran's state media says a man arrested for participating in recent anti-government protests
has been executed.
He was accused of blocking a street in Iran
and injuring a member of the security forces with a knife.
You heard that correctly.
Mohsen Shikari was executed, as in murdered by his government
for the charges of rioting and wounding a member
of their paramilitary force.
And that is messed up.
Seems like this isn't really a good international news situation, but as a lot of the reports
are noting, this effed up execution is also a big risk for the Iranian government because
it will undoubtedly result in a bigger pushback.
They are sending the message that any level of protest will get you killed, which in turn
means that protesters have nothing to lose.
And so while the news we are hearing is very bleak and a lot more people are going to get killed before this is over, this at least speaks to a pattern of oppressive systems
being uprooted by the new generation.
And I think that's pretty necessary in a society that puts so much pressure on their people.
It's sort of up to those people to fight back at this point, right?
And so as awful as the police response to these protests are,
I do have faith that progress will ultimately win.
And so remember that mood I was in?
Well, I'm gonna lift that mood out of hope and junk.
Okay, that's international news.
Done with that.
I really wanna get my Saint Cloud on, so let's keep moving.
Next up is...
Ooh, it's me, a g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!
Yeah, that's fitting.
Hi, Wormbo.
Could you speed this up?
I am not Wormbo, Mr. Cody, sir, silly goat.
Wormbo, I mean, I'm not.
Who is Wormbo?
I've never even heard of Wormbo. I am the ghost
of Christmas presents. We love presents, don't we? With the big bows and the wrapping paper,
all stuffed with the flesh of Wormbo's many blood-drained husks of death. I'm not Wormbo.
Hello, I am a ghost here to show you how badly you have treated your employee, Wormbo.
So, just to recap, you're not Wormbo.
You've never heard of Wormbo.
And you're here to show me how badly I've treated Wormbo, who you are claiming is my employee.
Did I get all that right?
Um, well, okay.
Mr. Cody, you see, I'm a ghost, and you must come with me. Call into my house.
Boop again. Not doing this. Sorry, Wormbo. Sorry, America. I am refusing the call.
Unless that call is from Sunny St. Cloud. Where were we? Oh, yeah. It's the war on children.
So here's an amazing story that's been effectively buried.
This week, the CDC's Advisory Committee
on Immunization Practices is expected to add
the COVID-19 vax to the list of required childhood vaccines.
If this happens, your children will not be able
to attend school without taking the COVID shot.
Hey, Tuckums.
Man, he's right.
That story about schools having mandatory COVID shots
has been buried, probably because it isn't true. Man, he's right. That story about schools having mandatory COVID shots
has been buried, probably because it isn't true.
God, remember COVID
and all the weird vaccine misinformation?
Those were the days.
Those days being now, these days, because hey, news.
COVID is still affecting tens of thousands
and killing hundreds of people per day.
Not to mention that long COVID is also affecting
nearly one out of five American adults
who previously had COVID.
In fact, long COVID is going to haunt some people
for literally the rest of their lives.
Obviously we are still studying it
and it's still really hard to pin down
exactly what long COVID is.
But we do know that getting COVID more than once
increases your risk, as does being
hospitalized for COVID. The most common symptom is fatigue, and of course brain fog affects over
60% of people suffering from it. 50% of people experience memory issues. Between two to four
million Americans are currently out of work because of long COVID. While it's hard to get
an exact number,
the estimated economic loss for all of this has been trillions of dollars in the United States alone.
And this year, the IMF's global estimate
has surpassed $12.5 trillion.
Not that the economy is the biggest concern,
but it helps to put things into perspective
because to frame this as a labor shortage
and use that as the pass fail metric
would be a very bad idea.
But I need to point out that this news is part of a pattern
of financial ruin happening lately.
NFTs and crypto crashing,
lots of firings on top of this long COVID.
And I can't help but to feel like we're at a crossroads
where the government either needs to supplement
the growing poverty in this country
and not tie healthcare to employment,
or, I don't know, abandon its people and accept ruin.
And it's weird that I don't know which one they'll pick.
Damn, now I'm back in that mood again.
It's almost like everything about America
just sort of bums me out because quite frankly,
Biden hasn't done enough to address this long COVID problem.
He's done some,
but one could easily throw some shit his way
for not fully addressing how to help all these people.
And if I were someone like Thucker Carlsbon
and made a sad little career
out of attacking the evil Dems in the left,
well, I would be talking about that
instead of a fake story about mandatory vaccinations,
but whatever you do you, Tarl.
It's easier to pretend COVID is made up
or a weapon or a fake weapon
or whatever you feel like on any given day.
Days are also fake.
Yeah, the deep state invented weekends to turn you trans.
Anyway, I'm sure we covered COVID at some point this year,
but it seemed time for an update
since it's hype-tastic team up with monkey pox
during the summer.
Who doesn't love a crossover?
There's a lot to say about that disease
and the GOP's 80s throwback homophobia
that came as a response to it.
And why is it always homophobia that comes back
and not like street sharks? There's also the
fact that since this disease is most common in Africa, there haven't been a lot of resources
spent actually trying to understand it and the long-term effects of it. You know, because we
suck and are racist. And while it seems like this has come and gone in the United States,
the big monkeypox story for America was that it immediately put a strain
on an already strained healthcare system.
And so to recap the monkeypox story,
we have this combination of homophobia and othering,
not studying the disease because we,
as in general American attitudes,
don't think it'll affect us,
and then strain on our shoddy ass healthcare system.
Sweet crab dick, it's almost like we haven't learned a thing from COVID.
And to top it all off,
this is all part of a bigger, more perfect storm brewing.
Because I don't know if you know this,
but monkey pox originates from Batman's dick.
I read the wrong paragraph, sorry.
Okay, it says here it comes from monkeys.
It began from a bite or a scratch,
or maybe if someone mouth kissed them.
I don't know, I'm not a monkey touching expert
in that I only have a bachelor's in monkey touching.
But it's similar to COVID in that it's a zoonotic disease
or a disease that comes from an animal
and transfers to a human.
And animals, as you might know, live in the wilderness.
Except humans, that's us,
really like bulldozing that same wilderness
to make room for our many red robins
and parking structures.
This drives the animals closer to us, the humans.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
As we erase their habitat,
we can absolutely expect even more zoonotic diseases,
or failing that, bear attacks.
Did someone say ghosts?
Oh right, this is still happening.
Get bent, fuckbeard! It's me, your ghost of Christmas future! I'm you from the distant
dystopian world of 2023! You wouldn't fucking believe this place. Twitter is now just a single picture of Elon Musk's fully engorged penis.
And all the replies are Twitter blue users doing the laugh cry emoji and assuring Elon
that they're laughing with his fully engorged penis, not at it.
My legal guardians are boars.
Laptops have been criminalized by Biden and the oceans have been replaced with Louis C.K.'s
dusty cum.
Aren't you supposed to be warning me about my sinister ways or showing me my own grave or
something? I don't know, man. They just said on the Slack to meet up here. There's a Slack?
In the year 2023, all communication is done with Slack. It's a fate worse than death. Speaking of
which, you need to come with me so I can show you your grave. Spoilers! It's covered in Louis C.K.'s cum and not the dusty cum!
Okay, I don't need any of this. There's still so much more news to cover and I can't be bogged down
by every little strand of sperm that blows my way. Also, I think we have ads? Do the advertisers
still like us after we've referenced cum so many times? Are you asking me? Do I look like Captain Cum to you?
A Brigadier General of Jizz, yeah, sure, maybe,
but I've yet to climb the chain of cum command
and I'll have to do that.
Wow, we've barely covered any news so far.
I just, I just realized that.
Okay, well, I guess we're going to cut to some non-cum ads
and then maybe, possibly,
actually get a long stretch of news going?
Probably not.
Probably not.
Anyway, watch these non-cum ads.
At least, I think they're not cum related.
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Okay, we're back.
And oh my sweet Christ, i've barely covered all the news
we missed this year my head is pounding it's like i've been gassed or something i just want
to get through this leftover news so i can make my flight but i keep getting blasted with horse
shit about ghosts and sperm i'm sorry it's not your fault i'm just i'm just stressed okay so
so we just did a COVID update
and talked about how as we get rid of forests,
but hopefully not the Amazon rainforest anymore,
we will see a rise in zoonotic diseases.
And boy, you know what that reminds me of?
This pattern of disease
caused by ruining the habitats of wildlife
as we increasingly destroy the planet.
It reminds me of soup attacks.
Oh my god! Van Gogh's sunflowers!
Oh my god, no! No! Dear god, no!
Why? Why? Why in the fuck?
I'm gonna be sick! Oh my sweet Christ in heaven!
No! Please! Say it isn't so! Van Gogh's Sunflower!
Somebody help us!
Call the police! Oh, God! Oh, God!
I'm throwing up!
I wanna puke, but I can't!
Me as well! Throwing up, I mean!
Oh, what foul god has forsaken!
I'm sorry, what's that?
The painting was not harmed?
Enclosed by glass, you say?
Well...
Boop.
NAH!
Okay, so I guess the paintings in museums are heavily protected.
Well, shit, why don't we throw stuff at art all the time then?
I would visit way more museums if I could throw fried dough at a Rembrandt.
Yes, it seems that people are really mad at art right now.
Here's some mashed potatoes getting hurled at a Monet painting.
Here's some black ink getting tossed on a Gustave Klimt painting.
Such horrors!
No need to look into why they're doing this.
We can just be outraged about how they tarnished
the sanctity of protective glass.
And in other news,
it appears that billions of crabs have gone missing.
Ah, that's...
The planet is dying.
I mean, sure, but still throwing soup on art,
that is pushing it.
Anyway, snow crabs,
which represent an entire fishing industry
worth hundreds of millions,
but also represent crabs, have vanished.
That's bad for that one economy for sure,
but also probably bad for the crabs
and for where the crabs lived
and maybe other things related to where those crabs lived.
So where did the billions of crabs go?
Were they thrown at a bunch of paintings?
We should probably find them.
I don't like not knowing where crabs are.
Anyway, if you guessed climate change
was the reason for this, you are of course correct.
Thanks to the melting of sea ice,
coupled with increasingly warming waters,
snow crabs in the Bering Sea
saw their habitat shrink considerably.
Crab metabolism, the crab-alism,
also increases in warmer water,
and so it's possible they starve to death.
But also the hotter temperatures
allowed other predators access to the crabs
that they don't normally get.
It's all theories right now, but generally speaking,
when you significantly change the temperature
of an ecosystem, a lot of wacky sacks,
goof-ha-ha is going to happen.
For example, months of severe drought followed by flooding.
You see, when the land is heavily parched from drought,
it becomes less able to absorb water,
ironically making things very wet when the drought ends.
It's like some kind of gag where mother nature
puts shaving cream on your hand and then drowns your family.
And so in places like China that saw long periods
of dryness during the summer,
this was followed up with horrendous flooding
because climate change is all about the extremes, baby.
Climate with an X somewhere
instead of one of the letters in climate.
This is what also happened in Iran
when an unusually dry season was swapped
with fucking monsoons causing massive flooding and death.
I don't have to tell you that the disasters
we saw overseas this summer that killed thousands of people
were absolutely the product of climate change.
According to the World Meteorological Organization
or WARMZO as I will now call them.
Did someone say?
No, I will never summon you, boo.
Anyway, according to WARMZO,
the past eight years are on track
to be the warmest years on record.
You better believe we broke all sorts of records,
but not like the good ones where you eat a lot of pies
or puke out the most pies.
Europe is more arid than it's been in 500 years.
Also the current and ongoing drought in the Southwest US
is the driest period in at least 1200 years.
And in Africa, floods and droughts have accelerated
between three to 10 times more in recent times, depending on the area. In Africa specifically,
this weather is putting 22 million people at risk of starvation. Not that we noticed it in the
States, because what needs noting here is that while we absolutely saw a drought in the US,
the rest of the world has been punished
far more as of recent. You combine that with how climate change will affect less developed nations
the worst, and there's an obvious parallel between this and stuff like COVID and other diseases.
What I mean is, we're not going to care about climate change, not on a large federal scale at
least, until it swims up and bites us on the ass,
which will be easy thanks to the flooding.
I know this because according to one Yale-conducted survey
of people in all 50 states,
only a motherfucking total of 43% of Americans
think climate change will affect them personally.
But I don't even need that survey to know
that America and parts of the world
will largely ignore climate change.
Because another thing that was completely ignored this summer was massive protests by climate scientists.
In the wake of a shocking new climate report that was released this week, warnings of dire consequences for humanity in it,
more than a thousand scientists protested around the world today, including a top climate scientist at NASA.
Yeah, Peter Kalamas was arrested this week for civil disobedience
after chaining himself to a Chase Bank entrance in Los Angeles.
That's right.
A NASA scientist was arrested because it has gotten so bad
that scientists are becoming radicalized.
Scientists, otherwise known as nerds.
And yet these protests by scientists about the climate
just came and went like any other news story.
That's how fucked we are.
Because here's some news.
Remember when a climate activist lit himself on fire
and died in front of the Supreme Court just this year.
I don't blame you if you forgot about that
because it blipped in and out of the news cycle
like a freaking Hot Ones clip.
It didn't stick around like that Paul Rudd Hot Ones clip.
And just a few months after this,
the Supreme Court would go on to rule against the EPA
and limit their ability to regulate emissions
after a man lit himself on fire outside of their workplace
because the world is literally dying.
I don't know, man, what do we even do with that?
I guess be mad because someone threw some soup
at the glass covering a dead guy's flower painting.
Hey, ghost of Christmas future, you hearing this?
You wanna scold me about all the drugs I do
and show me my cum grave now?
Uh, hey, I don't normally do this,
but you wanna like just talk, get a beer?
No, thanks. Let's go see my tomb.
I want to see it. Show it to me.
Yeah, I think I'm going to go.
Okay.
Well, that concludes the Christmas Carol stuff then, right?
I did it.
I finished the bullshit.
I met the quota for Hell Queen, who is apparently my boss.
Can I fucking go now?
Cody.
Cody.
Wake up, you stinky fool.
What?
Cody, you're awake. I feargassed us both. It was awesome.
Did you have a wild adventure while you were asleep?
I dreamt that I was a giant sloth attacking a bustling metropolis where everyone looked like Phil Hartman.
So unfortunately, just the same dream I always have.
Anyway, gonna go do some more fear-gas and go see the new Avatar.
Everyone's talking about Avatar.
We should do a whole video about Avatar, don't you think?
Okay, later.
Wow.
It was all a dream.
You know, I guess there's some kind of lesson we can all learn from this.
Not about Avatar.
But I tried to cut corners today, rushing through the news to cover everything.
And in the end, I guess I was a bit negative
to the people around me.
Because if you overexpose yourself to the news like I do,
you can often lose sight of what's really-
Ooh, I am a ghost!
Motherfucker!
We already did the ghosts.
We're done with the ghosts.
Cody, I'm the ghost of Christmas three weeks from now.
I'm here to tell you about the path not taken.
Cody, you mustn't end the episode yet.
There's still so much news you haven't covered.
Just a thought, but perhaps this would have gone way faster
without the constant interruptions.
Anything else I need to know about three weeks from now?
No, not much.
You're gonna get a rash on your ankle,
but it'll go away pretty quickly.
Also, the oceans will be replaced with cum
and you will never guess whose.
Boop.
More boops, all the boops.
Wow, okay, so I've completely lost the thread now.
I guess the fear gas was real,
but also my dreams have bled over into reality,
or maybe the fear gas was never real.
Maybe this is all a big trick,
like I'm Michael Douglas in the game.
Who can say?
Feel like we really phoned in
the Christmas Carol stuff as well.
But okay, so what is the next big scary thing
we didn't cover this year?
Quiet quitting is sweeping the nation.
Quiet quitting?
What is that, an indie band?
Someone dense, please explain this to me.
And then there's a rising get paid to don't work movement,
getting millions of hits on TikTok and Instagram,
calling itself quiet quitting.
The idea being keep the job, but don't work very hard at it
and focus on getting fulfillment outside of work.
Oh, wow, a rising new trend amongst the youngs
where people enjoy life outside of work.
How dreadful and dangerous.
Yeah, so it turns out there's a reason
we didn't cover some stories this year.
Because while I could spend a moment explaining
why quiet quitting isn't a thing
and how we've clearly been poisoned by work culture,
I don't know, I really hope you already know that.
And it's very telling that people working in news and media
seem the most shocked by the concept
as their entire industry has been completely destroyed
and forced many of them to work long and unreasonable hours.
You know what we should be talking about
as some kind of workplace epidemic?
Loud layoffs.
Let's even put it in a title
that I guess we can make festive.
Oh, massive layoffs caused by rich weirdos.
So there are a lot of problems
with corporations and rich people.
No, no, it's true.
I feel like we might've touched on some of those
in the last few hundred episodes we've done,
but in terms of news stories, we sort of skipped over.
2022 has seen a surprising amount of massive firings,
specifically due to obviously bad decisions
being made by the very few at the top.
You know the few.
They can be easily spotted by their bad haircuts
and replica video game firearms
and jokes about what they identify as.
Elon Musk, you know, comes to mind.
I'm not gonna dive into the whole Twitter situation,
mainly because we already covered some of it
and we'll absolutely be covering it more in the future.
But holy smokey moly, the Muskster has whipped out
almost every single shitty boss trope,
then slapped it on his leg
and promised us a horse if we kept quiet.
Musk fired pretty much everyone
who knew how to run the site,
totaling to nearly half the staff,
right before the holidays.
And instead of trying even a little
to understand the website he bought,
this gold-plated dildo has even publicly fired
and mocked programmers for correcting his ignorance.
He's literally all the tropes,
everything from Michael Scott to Mr. Burns.
And because of his very unwise and bad decisions,
he's opened himself up to massive legal problems
and even more money loss,
all while being just the most sad
and transparent poster of all time.
To speak in the language Elon can understand,
every tweet he makes is this meme.
He'll post about how great Twitter is doing
the same day the news is reporting
about Tesla's plummeting stock,
or all the lost ad revenue,
or employees being begged to return back
because no one knows how to work the back
end stuff. So yeah, amazing stuff. Bravo. There's so much more Musk to talk about, but unfortunately,
Elon isn't the only alien out there making terrible and obvious mistakes that we simply
must cover. We of course can't forget King Alien. I want to say, you know, up front,
that I take full responsibility for this decision. I'm the founder and CEO. I'm
responsible for the health of our company, for our direction, and for deciding how we execute
that, including things like this. And this was ultimately my call.
Well, shucks, that was actually kind of human of him.
Has Elon actually surpassed Mark Zuckerberg
as the most out of touch man?
This Cody thinks so.
Not nearly as egregiously dipshitted
as what's happening at Twitter,
the company formerly Facebook,
is finally circling the drain.
This has resulted in over 11,000 people losing their jobs
to start, which is pretty gosh dang wild.
And while Zucks is far less of a dick about it than Elon,
I would argue that the hubris is all the same.
And while that job loss is extremely sad,
I'm certainly not upset about Facebook
as an entity going down.
See video, pivot too.
And going back to the hubris,
one of the reasons that meta, or just Facebook,
Facebook lost so much money is because Mark bet big
on the concept of the VR metaverse.
Just this year, they lost 9.4 billion on it alone.
That probably had something to do
with it being an obviously bad idea
that anyone could have predicted would fail,
you know, like how we predicted it.
Anyone being me, for one, is what I mean.
Okay, that's what I'm talking about.
And so, I don't know, Mark,
maybe you should pay me to tell you
when you suck or something.
I charge $800 an hour.
And so we're seeing how a single bad idea
pushed by a single rich guy
can have resounding consequences.
Not to mention how far the bubble of tech culture is
from what everyday people actually want.
Had any executive simply walked outside
and asked someone if they would pay a lot of money
for like digital VR clothing, they would say no.
You know, the same way they would say no if you ask them
if they would pay for an NFT or a blue check mark.
But because of this oblivious miscalculation,
an entire company is crashing down.
I don't know, man, maybe we shouldn't have an industry
where when one company changes their code a little bit,
another company loses $10 billion.
Maybe when you have these massive tech monopolies
run by a single all powerful billionaire, it's like bad.
This futile tech economy is one of those things
that history will see as an obvious mistake.
And speaking of, Amazon also did some massive layoffs, I guess to follow the trend, to stay hip.
There's also the non-tech story about a shoe manufacturer that had to lay off 142 workers
after Adidas cut ties with Kanye West, you know, because of the antisemitism.
ties with Kanye West, you know, because of the antisemitism.
It just feels like a pretty terrifying pattern when hundreds to thousands of jobs are at the whim
of these very unstable and very rich individuals
like Kanye and Musk who are clearly making bad, emotional,
and self-destructive decisions.
And it's absolutely fucking wild that the media
will clutch pearls about quiet quitting.
At the same time, workers are expected to twist
in the wind like this.
Seems like we need to have a big and frank conversation
about unions in tech.
Also, I don't know, it almost feels like,
this is weird to say, but I'm really starting to think
that rich people are kind of bad.
Ooh, I'm a force ghost.
Yeah, fine.
What is it?
More cum jokes?
Are you Darth Cum or something?
Be quiet, young Padawan, for I am the ghost of Christmas long time ago in a galaxy far,
far away.
I'm here because you have lost your way by besmirching the kindly wealthy.
That's as bad as the N-word, you know.
Well, I have always wanted to be a Padawan. Wait, as bad as the N-word, you know. Well, I have always wanted to be a Padawan.
Wait, as bad as the N-word? Okay, first of all, no. And secondly, you're a Jedi from Star Wars,
but are also in favor of the ultra-rich? That doesn't really scan for me. Well, I was sold
to Disney for four billion dollars. Anyway, you're very hard on the poor, poor wealthy.
What about Mark Cuban and all that pharmacy stuff?
That is a rich person going out of their way
to help dirty, non-rich people.
Man, you really hate poor people.
But okay, sure, that's a good thing that Cuban is doing.
Or rather, it's a thing that's resulting in good things.
And we have not covered it yet.
Except I can't help but to be bothered
about how my good friend Mark Cuban
is making money off of a fundamental flaw
in our healthcare system.
You know, something that the government
should have stepped in to regulate years ago.
It reminds me of companies like Walmart
and then Amazon later on,
who took advantage of retail deserts
and in turn ensured that no small business
could ever compete.
They were a solution that guaranteed
that the problem would never go away.
And so by doing this, Cuban might be guaranteed that the problem would never go away. And so by doing this,
Cuban might be ensuring that the government won't feel the need to be involved in drug prices
and possibly make the problem worse in the long run. I don't know. It's still good. And
prescription drugs are not the same as retail goods. But we've just seen this pattern a lot.
Markets that grow into big sloppy monsters get undercut for the good of the people,
but then that new revolutionary system
ultimately trashes the entire industry.
The music and film industries were certainly not victims
when Napster and Pirate Bay came along.
And so when streaming services like Netflix showed up,
it seemed like a really great solution,
but over time, this model made it impossible
to make money at all.
And a lot of products and jobs
got lost along the way. So while I'm not like a business lord, it just feels like the solution
to unchecked capitalism shouldn't be more capitalism. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening
because I was trying to think of obligatory silly Star Wars universe names. That's fine.
This is all fine. You want to list them for me? Googan's Cum, that's the only one I thought up.
Idiot.
Salacious Cum is right there.
Okay, folks, I sure hope we're wrapping up here.
We just have one last subject to cover.
So that means it's the home stretch.
How bad could it be?
We already hit our low point with all the climate doomsaying,
so by rule of structure, this'll be something fun
to bring the year to an end
and I'll still have time to get to the airport
for a dramatic finish.
Okay, let's lube up our brains
and blast through this final section about US politics.
Oh, American politics, yay.
Nope, don't you dare pull that festive shit with me.
I feel like I'm gonna cry.
I just want to go to St. Cloud, Minnesota.
Is that too much to ask?
What have I done wrong here?
Okay, fuck, shit, wads.
Let's do this.
Could I at least get some kind of fun video
to boost my mood during these troubling times.
Boo!
Boo!
Where is this piece of shit? Oh God, yes, yes, thank you.
Boy, some people, right?
Can you believe it?
That Ted Cruz, a politician, would be attacked.
Sorry, I can't even pretend to be empathetic.
The man openly celebrated it
when Elon Musk laid off thousands of people.
A US Senator posting a cry laugh emoji
as a response to Americans losing their jobs,
because I guess he thinks some of them are libs or whatever.
And that working at a fast food place is bad
or worthy of mockery.
And that's just like the most recent example
of him being a tremendous creep.
I'm genuinely surprised people aren't hurling beer cans
at him every second of his life.
I'm not advocating for violence.
But when powerful people are openly mocking
the working class while making policies
designed to fuck them over,
I'm not sure how we can act shocked or outraged
when they're chased from public events.
But I really am not advocating for violence,
not just for legal reasons,
but because it isn't good and also not necessary apparently,
because hey, you see those midterms?
For context, historically speaking,
whatever party the current president belongs to
often does very poorly during the midterms.
Without looking up why, my guess is that most centrists
are silly little contrarians who automatically see
whoever's in power as the reason for all of their problems.
That isn't to say Joe Biden is good or fun
or isn't filled with old man farts,
but it's really telling then that this year's midterm
barely helped the Republicans.
In the face of 42% approval rating,
Joe Biden, America's plain yogurt,
the GOP still somehow shat their plantation style bed.
And while this is being framed as a good result
for the Democrats, I would argue it's more accurately
a really bad result for Republicans.
Because again, Joe Biden, an undressed salad of a man
with his 42% approval rating,
regardless of what you think about the guy,
he's not very popular, which means the GOP,
who doubled and tripled down on religious extremist bullshit like attacking LGBTQ people
and banning abortion, got absolutely bodied despite Biden. Remember Blake Masters? No,
you don't. Sarah Palin? Never heard of her. Carrie Lake? More like Carrie fake. Dr. Oz? Yeah,
of course he lost.
Interesting pattern,
how so many Trump backed candidates ate the dirt.
Also interesting that progressive candidates
backed by people like Bernard Sanders did very well.
Equally interesting that in every place
where abortion was on the ballot,
voters fought and won to protect that right.
It's almost like, and just stick with me here,
but it's almost like the religious fundamentalism
being pushed by the MAGA GOP is not popular.
And now all the conservatives and conservative grifters
are hilariously dumbfounded as to why that is.
Ben Shapiro, America's special little beard grower,
attributed the loss to, quote,
Republicans' lack of seriousness, saying that,
if Republicans get serious
"'and drop the frivolous bull bleep,
"'2024 could look very different.'"
I assume the bleep is for the word come.
Lots of come jokes on this holiday episode.
Too many, one could say,
but before you think he finally became self-aware,
Ben then hastily added, and this is just delightful,
"'Culture war isn't frivolous bull cum, by the way, it's key.
Ah, so close, Ben.
Absolutely incredible to watch someone trip
on their untied shoes and then conclude the solution
is longer and looser laces.
After all, if Ben actually explored the real problem
with his party, he would be forced to look in the mirror,
shut down his entire little network, shave that new beard, and walk into the ocean.
This is why probably the most honest and horrifying reaction to the midterms
has to come from Nick Kanye 2024 Fuentes.
But the point is, when you look at these things like abortion, it's popular. People like abortion,
hate it, but it's true. And you can thank the Jewish media for that. Abortion, it's popular. People like abortion, hate it, but it's true.
And you can thank the Jewish media for that.
Abortion's popular.
Sodomy's popular.
You know, being gay is popular.
Being a feminist is popular.
Sex out of wedlock is popular.
Contraceptives are, it's all popular.
That's all, that's not to say it's good.
That's not to say I like that. Popular means the people support it, which they do.
And it sucks and it is what it is,
but that's why we need dictatorship.
That's unironically why we need to get rid of all that.
Thing is, he's right.
Rephrase, he's horrifying and racist and a Nazi
and has a silly little face and bad hair.
And come on, dude, you don't even like sodomy?
Come on.
But he is right that the GOP don't have popular ideas. They are
not the silent majority. His solution to this is, of course, fucked up. Because what his little
Nazi chestnut can't understand is that the popular things he's identifying as bad in America aren't,
um, that. But what I think really hits a nerve with this video is that it's starting to seem
like the GOP are subconsciously or consciously mulling over what he is saying about wanting
to be a dictatorship.
It's why they go after the media and voting and social media.
In all those cases, they are attacking the vessel in which information and democracy
travels because killing that infrastructure is the only hope they have for actually winning
in the long term. I mean, holy smokes, look no further than Elon Musk's hostile takeover of Twitter that has
now resulted in him unbanning countless right-wing ghouls and welcoming transphobia with open arms.
Dude had to spend billions to buy social media because his ideas were unpopular and bad,
shaping it into his own little 4chan where a handful of weird fans line up
to tell him how smart he is.
As an aside, it is very funny to see people
call Musk the new Trump,
as if he's someone the right will all get behind.
You know, considering that Trump proved
to be a hollow con artist who didn't live up to any promise
and is now seeing some justice maybe for his many crimes.
So they're just jumping from one sinking ship to another,
never stopping to reflect on their poor sailing skills
because the MAGA stuff really seems to be over,
at least for Trump.
And now we're finally seeing
the most sycophantic of rats turn on him.
The most embarrassing of Trump fans, like Scott Adams,
have begun to disavow their leader
long after everyone else.
Even Mike Hang-Me-Daddy Pence
is admitting that Trump is perhaps
not so swell.
As of writing this,
Trump is currently fighting
the January 6th hearings
and a bunch of other legal problems
in his organization
was now found guilty
of 17 charges of fraud.
It's weird, but I don't even feel like
I need to cover him that much.
He announced his 2024 run to the most lukewarm of responses.
"'Dude is old news.
"'Yesterday's come,' to speak Holliday for a second.
"'And what's left of his support
"'is all so sad and weird and desperate.
"'All these once popular names "'devolved into sweaty right-wing nobodies, What's left of his support is also sad and weird and desperate.
All these once popular names devolved into sweaty right-wing nobodies,
all hanging out and tweeting at each other and beefing and desperately clinging onto their bad ideas. But somewhere, deep inside, they all must know that the country is moving on from their stale-ass rhetoric.
is moving on from their stale ass rhetoric.
And while he's not exactly fresh,
Biden is at least chugging along as best as a dude who kind of sucks can.
He's appointing a historic number of judges.
He's mostly kind of performatively chopping away
at weed criminalization,
although still has a long way to go there,
specifically when it comes to migrant defenses.
That can be said for a lot of what Biden
has done so far. The Inflation Reduction Act cut costs for healthcare, but not enough. It's also
going to tackle climate change, but of course there's much more to do. I'm not here to jerk
off Joe Biden as hot as that would be to some of you freaks, but there is definitely a clear
contrast between Biden keeping his eyes on the prize
and the GOP detonating in a fury
of red-faced straw grasping.
To be very clear,
I'm not saying that they aren't dangerous.
In fact, if there's any theme of this episode,
it's pressure, people under pressure,
people who lost, who are hitting tipping points,
out of work, sick with long COVID,
who are overwhelmed and just want to go to St. Cloud
and how those people are extremely unpredictable.
And looking back at 2022,
it's very possible that this past year is a prelude
to some extremely sinister events
resulting from this desperation
because the final lifeline of the MAGA GOP
could very well be what Fuentes
describes. But the only way to fight that, besides being prepared and materially improving people's
lives, is to not let us get sucked down into their sad little spiral. The reason their hate is stale
is because love and friendship and sodomy, well, that stuff never gets old. It's what the holidays are about, sodomy at least.
And that means to celebrate and focus on the things
that are good, you know, the things we love.
Things like, ooh, it's me, a ghost.
Hey, hi, sure, welcome, this is great.
Why is your face blue?
What is your deal? Tell me everything.
I'm the ghost of Christmas, December 17th, 2009. And I'm here to tell you how pumped I am for the movie Avatar.
Oh, all right. I guess we're doing Avatar stuff after all. Yeah, um, that movie was fine.
I'm sure you've seen it like a hundred times by now. What being in 2022 Wow how many sequels have they made just one but it looks um
Yeah, I guess it looks pretty good. Uh, now that you mention it. I am kind of excited
It's james cameron after all the guy can't lose. Yeah
You're right. James cameron has never really had a miss. That's kind of incredible now that you mention it like
Like a miracle even.
I'm so fucking pumped for Avatar!
You know, maybe it's your energy,
but I think I'm kind of pumped for this new Avatar too.
Really?
Yeah.
Kinda.
Sure.
Yay!
You did it, Cody!
Did you hear this whole time?
Yeah, I was hiding under your sink,
and I am so happy that you figured out the true meaning of Christmas.
Wait, Avatar?
I don't know, sure.
I'm on so much fear gas.
I ate all your sponges.
Were you Wormbo?
When you believe in Avatar, anything can happen.
You're right.
You know, 2022 hasn't been the best year, but it also wasn't the worst.
We've suffered a lot of trauma, and so it's hard to imagine things getting better.
So stuff like the midterms or any other slightly good progress being made just
feels like we're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Nobody wants to say that Trump and Trumpism are definitely on their way out because we
just don't know. It's hard to say COVID is over when again,
again, we just don't know.
And so we expect the worst,
just like we expect the new Avatar,
colon, the way of water to be bad.
But maybe this time of year isn't about cynicism.
It's about hoping for the best.
And while we need to be realistic,
there's nothing wrong with hoping for
and even expecting good things to happen
So happy Avatar days everyone
Happy Avatar days
Avatar
The way of water
Now in theaters in 13 years
Now in theaters
Avatar bless us
Everyone
I am also here too
From the Marvel episode we did
Avatar the way of water Will be the biggest hit of the decade.
But we do not care.
Hey!
Good to see you... person.
Oh, and it's you!
That guy!
Also in that Marvel thing we did.
What tickle, man?
You're all here for me.
All of the random bullshit.
I'll suck your toes.
You're so right.
Praise him.
Praise Avatar.
Praise Avatar.
And also with you.
The first avatar The earthlings did seek
Pandora the planet
Filled with bluish freaks
And they fought Stephen Lang
in a giant
mech suit
Jake Sully was
saved by a magic
tree root
Avatar
Avatar
Avatar
Avatar
Zoe
Saldana is a movie star.
Star.
Star.
Star.
Star.
Star.
Star.
There it is.
Star.
Star.
We have not yet seen Avatar 2.
But it is James Cameron, so it's probably good.
He came down from the sky to make movies fun.
And became lord and Savior for everyone.
Avatar, Avatar, Avatar, Avatar,
Alien's true lies and Terminator.
Avatar, Avatar, Avatar Avatar Avatar
Avatar
Avatar
James Cameron
the director
is our true
North Star
Star
Star
Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star Star
Star
Star
Star
Star
Star
Star
Star
Got it.
Honestly, very impressed that you stuck around after that.
But thanks.
Thank you.
For doing that.
So much.
Be sure to like.
Yeah.
And. Subscribe. To. Our. For doing that. So much. Be sure to like. Yeah. And.
Subscribe.
To.
Our.
Channel.
Also.
We've got.
A.
Merch.
Store.
With.
Stuff.
On it.
To buy.
Yeah, you buy it.
Also, we.
Are.
Hosts.
Of a.
Podcast.
Called.
Even.
More. News. This show. And this show. Is also available as a podcast called Even More News.
This show is also available as a podcast
called Some More News.
You can listen to it on your ears.
We've got Patreon.com, so it's Some More News.
other stuff.
Stuff.
Cody's giving me
voice lessons. It's working.