Something Rhymes with Purple - Clarus

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

This week, we are live from the Bristol Old Vic as Susie & Gyles tune into the vast history of the ‘orchestra’. Join us as we discover the melodious connections between orchestras and their vibrant etymologies! We love hearing from you, find us @SomethingRhymes on Twitter and Facebook, @SomethingRhymesWith on Instagram or you can email us on our NEW email address here: [e-mail] Want even more purple, people? Join the Purple Plus Club by clicking the banner in Apple podcasts or head to purpleplusclub.com to listen on other platforms' Don’t forget that you can join us in person at our upcoming tour, tap the link to find tickets: www.somethingrhymeswithpurple.com  Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week:  1. Pinguescent: becoming fat. 2. Quercine: relating to oak trees. 3. Epidictic: displaying the skill of the speaker.  Gyles' poem this week is a haiku from the book 'When Nature Speaks To Us' by Andrew Green Mann Thin grass, Whispering as the wind cries for the sun, Come back to me please. A Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts     To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, Giles here. And knowing that we have a family audience, and the Purple people often include some very young people, just to say that today's episode does include some language that some people may find uncomfortable or offensive. Welcome to another episode of Something Rhymes with Purple. of Something Rhymes with Purple. We're in Bristol, and I thought we were just doing this in a small studio. But in fact, we've come to one of the oldest,

most beautiful historic theatres in the whole of the British Isles. We are at the Bristol Old Vic. Yes. Tell me, what does the Vic stand for? Is it Victoria? Yes. The Old Victoria Theatre. And here we are. And it's fantastic. And the heritage is amazing. The theatre was opened in 1766. That's not the time. That's the year in which it was opened. And this audience have been waiting outside since then. They've come in and it's been refurbished. It looks beautiful. They've kept all the original interior,

but they've made it more comfortable. They've certainly got air conditioning that really works, which is wonderful. I mean, to say here in the UK, it's a rainy Sunday afternoon, isn't it? It's the perfect time to come and enjoy a matinee. Can I say that's true? Because we have listeners.

We're very lucky with the Purple podcast. We have listeners literally around the globe. So if anybody does come to the UK, come to Bristol and visit this theatre because they do do tours backstage and people can go and see the original, I think it's called Thunder Run, the machine that still exists.

I know, I can't wait to see this. In olden days, in Victorian times, to make noises, like they would have metal sheets that would make noise of lightning flashing. And they would have this ball that goes down a metal chute, known as a thunder round. Which is a different, yeah, thunder-making machine. Also, there is apparently a ghost.

Well, several ghosts, but there is apparently, those of you up there, there is a woman who sometimes passes up and down. So that gave me goosebumps. That might be why I'm so cold. A woman loop? If you see her, would you stop her? Yes. She can submit her trio, her answer to the trio. Good. So what are we going to talk about today on today's episode? We're actually going to talk about something very relevant to this theatre and to many theatres. We're going to talk about the orchestra.

And we are sitting in the orchestra pit, are we not? I think the original orchestra pit, which has been raised up. Well, the orchestra pit would have been. Yes, absolutely. So we're going to have a whirlwind tour, a woodwind tour of instruments and the various things that you would expect in an orchestra, obviously. o ddwyloedd, a'r pethau gwahanol y byddwch chi'n ei ddisgwylio mewn cwrs, yn amlwg. A ydw i'n dda yn sylweddoli bod y tro cyntaf i mi ddod yma, am llawer o flynyddoedd yn ôl, yn 1950, i weld cwmniad gan Julian Slade a Dorothy Reynolds?

A ydw i'n dda yn meddwl bod Salad Days yn dechrau ei fywyd yng Nghymru, ac yn bosibl yn y theatr hon? A ydy unrhyw un o'r cyflwyniad yn gwybod hynny? Ydw i'n dda? Y Yn ymddangos i'r teatr hon, mae'r teatr hon yn ymddangos i'r teatr hon. A yw unrhyw un yn y cyflwyniad yn gwybod? Ydw. Ydw. Ydw. Ydw. Ydw. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu.

Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu.

Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. Rwy'n credu. which was for a while in the 1950s the longest running musical in theatre history, and it began its life here. Good Shakespeare reference as well.

Of course. Yes. When I was green in judgment in my salad days. Exactly. Antony and Cleopatra? Yes. Okay. Here we are, we're going to talk about the orchestra.

Tell me, well, can you tell us about the word orchestra? Well, that's from a Greek word meaning to dance. So we have the orchestra, we have instruments. An instrument is from the Latin for to equip equip so you're equipped with an instrument and instruction yes instruction is from the same idea so it's all about equipping oneself with knowledge information and that kind of thing and music of course is a tribute to the muses muses of classical mythology the nine goddesses, which is where we get museum from as well, because museums were places that were dedicated to the

muses. Very good. So we've got music, we've got the orchestra. We have. In the orchestra pit. Well, let's go maybe around the orchestra before we get to the conductor. Strings, violin. Strings. Yeah, so string is actually a relative of strong, which kind of makes sense. And I think we'll cover some expressions later, but in early use, the string could be any thickness at all. Well, I suppose it still can be. And then, have you ever played a musical instrument? I should ask.

I played, well, I played the cello. I learned the cello for some years. And unfortunately, Mr. Reed, who taught me the cello, he very much admired. Mr. Reed. That was a good name, wasn't it? You thought he might have taught the clarinet, but no. ac yn anffodus, roedd Mr Reid, a ddysgu'r cello i mi, yn ei ddysgu yn fawr iawn. Mr Reid. Roedd e'n enw da, oedd e. Roedd e'n meddwl y byddai wedi dysgu'r clarinet, ond nid oedd. Roedd e'n ddysgu'r cello ac roedd e'n ddysgu fy boing, fel y gwnaeth pobl, rydw i'n gwneud symudiadau'r llythyr yma. Ond doeddwn i ddim yn gallu cymhwyso, oherwydd roedd Mr Reid, yn y 1950au, yn y cyfnod, he had, or early 1960s, he had a toupee. And as he moved, it would move up and down his head. And when he really got to a crescendo, you know, so disconcerting. So yes,

violin, viola, cello, double bass, I know them all. Do they have interesting origins? Yes, they do, actually, I think, anyway. So the violin, that is quite nice, and the viola, and also the viol, because they're all different instruments. So they all go back to a Latin word, vitulare, meaning to celebrate a festival, and we think it was a nod to Vitula, and she was the goddess of joy, a Roman goddess of joy. So that's quite lovely. So they're all related to that, because correctly,

the cello is the violin cello. Exactly. And some purists still spell cello with a I was going to say an apostrophe before the c yeah is that because it's a diminutive isn't it it's like a little they say it's like a little yeah that is correct um little violin and violoni was actually a form of double bass so yeah that's it's a very very big family that will go back we think to, to this Roman goddess. But if somebody is called Viola, which is different from Viola, different pronunciation,

is the source of the name Viola different? I don't think so. No, it's probably because it came in through a different language, I would assume. Because there's a flower called Violet. There is. And Violet is sometimes a name as well. So you think of the flower Violet. That's a very good question.

From Viola and Viola. I don't know about the Violette. I'm going to go to the OED. So this is, for anyone who is new to the podcast, I don't know everything, despite what Giles says, and I do look up in the OED live. This is the most exciting thing. The OED.

Consulting a dictionary live. The Oxford English Dictionary, where Susie Dent used to work a lifetime ago. So I'm just signing in. Just signing in. This password is a common word, which makes it easy to guess. You should change it immediately. Oh, I can't.

I do not wish to learn another password. I've had enough. So they are different, I think. So a violet is a little viola or viola. I'm not quite sure how you pronounce the plant. That simply goes back to a Latin word for a flower. So very simple. So that's I think the girl's name as in viola the character in Twelfth Night. Yes. That would be as in the flower. As in the flower. It's a name like a flower. Yes. Yes and the other one goes back to the Roman goddess. The Roman goddess.

And what was she the goddess of? Joy, feasting, victory as well, actually. Joy, feasting and victory. Yeah. Excellent. Yeah. Good. And a double bass is so-called?

Yeah. So the Italian basso means low. So a double bass means obviously extremely low. I'm laughing at a joke that wasn't very funny. And right, I've got my page back again yes that's a double bass and um it was also it was influenced by bass as we use it b-a-s-e as meaning extremely low so shakespeare uses bass for peasants or people of sort of very corrupt low character excellent yeah take me to the woodwind section. I'll take you to the woodwind.

Well, we'll start with flute, which is beautiful. I mean, I have to say, Colin Murray asked me on Countdown the other day what would be the top of my bucket list, and it is to come on stage and to play Gabriel's oboe, with the oboe, obviously, not the flute. And he said, that's fine, we can arrange that. And I said, no, I have to learn the oboe first. But I have bought one because I just love the sound of the oboe.

Gabriel's oboe, what is it? So that is a beautiful tune from the Mission, the film The Mission, if you know that. And I think it was Morricone, was it? Yeah. Gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous. Anyway, in my dreams. But flute. If you know that I think it was Morricone was it yeah gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous Anyway in my in my dreams, but flute also is the name of a character in Shakespeare One of the rude mechanicals in Midsummer Night's Dream Is it true is he the joiner?

Flute the bellows man, of course, it's fruit because it's all about blowing So we think it goes back to the Latin flare, which gave us inflate, deflate, et cetera. So it's all about blowing into something, which would make sense. It's a little bit slippery, that one, but we think that's where it goes from. What about your oboe? So my oboe, yes. So that is from the French, ou, meaning high, and bois, meaning wood.

Ou, as in H-A-U-T, high. Yes, so high-pitched woodwind, I think, is the idea there. And was it as? That's not particularly high-pitched. Hold on. I can see a word, haute bois, H-A-U-T, B-O-Y-S. B-O-Y-S, okay. I can see this word.

Yes. Do you think that's the origin? What does that mean? I think it's a musical instrument, an haute bois. Oh, the same thing. And I think this must be what an oboe was before it became an oboe. Ah, interesting. I mean, look, that's that, because in French it would be

B-O-I-S, wood, but I've not seen a high boy. But one of the things that's interesting that I've learned through Susie is that orthography, spelling, is really quite a recent thing and things being settled. So before about 1800, words can be spelled all sorts of ways. Yeah, well, before printing, really, so a little

bit earlier, but printing was the thing that really standardized it. So what is Otoboy, is that? Exactly the same thing. You're absolutely right. Good. So there we are. So that is an oboe. Clarinet.

Oh, that's nice too. So that's what I used to play, the clarinet at school. And sadly had to give it up because my clarinet teacher told me that my fingers weren't quite wide enough. I think I was still quite young. So I gave it up, but I loved it. I picked it up about five years ago thinking I'll just step straight back into this.

I could not produce the sound, which made me very sad. But it goes back to the Latin clarus, meaning clear, which also gave us clarion, a bell and that kind of thing. Do you know the name of the school and the teacher? Because I think it's possible to sue. No, I think her childhood was destroyed by this. I mean, you wouldn't be allowed. That kind of abusive behaviour would not be allowed nowadays. No, I was quite sad.

Criticising your hands, your beautiful hands. Well, I think maybe they just, my fingers would not quite, because it's quite a big instrument to get to all the, no, okay. I wish I'd kept it up, but it is a beautiful sound. And have we done all the wind? Bassoon. The bassoon again, low, basso, low.

Basso, but what's the un bit? Oh, that's a very good point. We have so many different suffixes. I think, again, that might have operated as a bit of a diminutive, like a little bass thing, but I'm not sure, because the bassoon, again, is quite big. Well, it could be, we've talked about before, I know, when we talk about wine, the spittoon,

which is what you gurgle your wine and you spit it out. So maybe the bassoon is the same idea. It's a receptacle that receives the low sound. Yeah, that's my idea. Quite possible. Good. Give me maybe some brass instruments. Ah, OK. So, trumpet? Well, if Quite possible. Good. Give me maybe some brass instruments. Okay, so trumpet? Well, if you want. Yes.

So the trumpet is actually related to... Some of us are just in a silly mood today. I don't get that. I'm still trying to work it out. I know, I know. Okay, so yes, I don't know. Was that a vague reference to Breaking Wind? No.

It could have been. It could have been. It could have been. I love it, a vague reference to breaking wind. So yes, actually, it is related to the Trumping that is breaking wind. And Trump has got so many different meanings in the dictionary. So when we think of Donald, you might think it could come from breaking wind and blowing hot air. Or you could think of Trump refinery. And as you know, Trump arenas, one of my favorite finds from the OED that I always talk about,

probably my favorite find from the last decade, Trump arenas from the 18th century, is something that is extremely showy, but utterly worthless. So there's that. But there's also trump, as in trump as in cards, or you've trumped me, as in yes, you've got one over me. That's triumph. That's from triumph, so slightly different. But the trumpet we think is all about blowing.

So it's another blowing word. It's another blowing word, yes. Trombone. Trombone. Well, that's from the Italian Trombone. Trombone. Wel, mae hynny'n tromba'r Uddechredol, sy'n golygu trompet. Felly mae'n ddewis iawn, ond mae'n dod o ddwy llyfr gwahanol.

Ac, o, y rhai ohonom sy'n cofio, oedd hi Flanders and Swan, a wnaethon nhw ddyn o ddynion Ffrenc? Roedd gen i dyn o Ffrenc ac roedd gen i'n gorfod ei ddynio. A'i cofio? Na. Mae pawb rwy'n siarad amdano yn ddiwedd. Do you remember that? No. Oh, never mind. Sorry. Everybody I talk about is dead. Susie and you lovely people are the only living people I know.

I've still kept the landline. I don't know why. You know, my mother never calls. She can't, you know. Barry Cryer, Nicholas Parsons. I've still got it sitting in the corner of the room, you know. Barry Cryer was, he just loved the phone. I like to think he just lived on the phone.

He did live on the phone. Always call and wish all his friends a happy birthday. He always remembered birthdays, didn't he? And he was just, yeah, just such a delight. Great man. He was. Percussion, did we go on to percussion? But had you given me the horn?

Oh. Well, that goes back to the latin cornu meaning same thing horn and it's because the early instruments were made of animal horn oh so a cornet a cornet is an instrument same idea it's the same idea so a corn is a version of horn i mean explain this oh yeah no that's different i think that's different i love the way you get me off on all these little journeys what people should know is these are genuine conversations we don't prepare this as you can imagine we meet once a week on zoom unfortunately since the restraining order was imposed.

And we just chat. We just chat. So I've just looked at the dictionary entry for horn. As you can imagine, it's quite a long entry. But the first... No need for your piece of string at this moment. Keep going. So the first reference in Old English, well, from the 11th century, but probably in existence before.

So an animal organ or appendage, it says, OK. And listen to this dictionary definition. Would you know what I was talking about? A non-deciduous excrescence, often curved and pointed, consisting of an epidermal sheath growing about a bony core on the head of certain mammals. I must clearly watch Steph's packed lunch more often. What is it? That's it, is it? Yes, so that goes back to the Celtic and the Latin, also cornu,

as I say. But the corn that grows in our fields, I suspect, is entirely different, unless there is something about the crop that is horned. One of those will give us cornucopia, won't it? Cornucopia is, yeah, there's nothing to do with... No, the cornucopia often is illustrated as a horn of plenty. It is a horn of plenty. Where there's fruit and vegetables coming out of one another. But nothing to do with the grain. Nothing to do with the corn that's in our field, I think.

So, yes, that is very different. Germanic, and it has lots of relatives in different languages, particularly Germanic languages, but not to do with the corn that is the horn. OK. That's clear, isn't it? Yeah. Let's stay in the orchestra for the moment

and give me some of the percussion instruments. Percussion. Give me percussion. So percussion is Latin, again, and it is from a verb meaning to strike, to strike forcibly. Yeah, the percussion instruments. So we have, well, the bass drum, we've already sorted that out, the low pitch. Timpani is quite interesting. I was thinking about the eardrum and whether the eardrum was so named.

Do we have any doctors in the audience? Any doctors in the audience? No. Okay, well, I don't know if the eardrum doctors in the audience? No. Okay. Well, I don't know if the... More worrying than I thought. I don't know if the eardrum is so named because it is shaped, it is hollow and almost has kind of got a thin membrane on it like a drum,

or whether it's something to do with sound. It's sort of to do with the boom, boom, boom, boom, and it reverberating in your head. Surely that's why it's called a drum. Well, I don't know. Because it has got a very thin membrane. And so we talk about the timpani, and a timpanim is a drum,

or something like a tambourine, but it's also the drum of the ear. And that has got a tympanic membrane. So I don't know whether it's actually to do with the, you know, the very thin film, which is also horned sometimes, isn't it, on drums? But I would have thought they're absolutely connected. Okay.

I mean, just logic tells us that. No, but you're going for the sound bit, and I'm going for the membrane. Yes, but it's the hitting the membrane that makes the sound. Oh, okay, so you're putting them together. You're probably right. And drum, D-R-U-M, where does that come from? Drum is almost certainly Germanic, and that, I i think came in quite

a long time ago because as i always say we are a germanic language at heart despite all the latin yes so it says origin unknown but in german you have trauma trauma lots of similar things so i think ultimately probably from our germanic invaders i met someone this week who was writing a novel and couldn't come up with the right title for the novel so i said to them i think i could Felly, yn y pen draw, yn y pen draw, yn y pen draw, yn y pen draw. Fe wnes i gyfarfod rhywun ystod y wythnos hwn sy'n ysgrifennu llyfr a doedd yn gallu dod â'r enw cywir ar gyfer y llyfr. Felly fe wnes i ddweud wrthyn nhw, dwi'n meddwl y gallwn gael enw i ar gyfer chi. Fe wnes i ddweud, ydy yna yn eich llyfr, a ydy yna unrhyw drwmau? Ac fe wnes i ddweud, na, na, na, na, drwmau.

Fe wnes i ddweud, a ydy yna unrhyw trwmpau? Fe wnes i ddweud, na, na, na, trwmpau. Ac fe wnes i ddweud, wel, dyna eich enw. Na drwmau, na trwmpau. Mae'n eithaf anhygoel. Fyddwch chi'n hoffi ei ysgrifennu? O, na drwmau, na trwmpau. Mae'n sain yn ddiddorol. Mae'n fawr like to... Oh, no drums, no trumpets. This sounds interesting. Marvellous.

Anyway, that's by the by. That sounds a little bit like our conversation to come up with a name for this podcast, doesn't it? We did labour for ages what to call it and then how on earth did we just sort of say... Well, no, because I said something rhymes with purple. And you said nothing rhymes with purple. I said nothing rhymes with purple. Nothing rhymes with purple,

with silver, with orange. And you said, no, no, no, something rhymes with purple. That's it. That's why it's called this. Purple rhymes with purple. And you said nothing rhymes with purple. I said nothing rhymes with purple. Nothing rhymes with purple, with silver, with orange. And you said, no, no, no, something rhymes with purple. That's it. That's why it's called this. Purple rhymes with purple. Okay, have we gone, what about the snare drum? Yes, do you know what a snare drum is? Yes, it's a drum which got metal strips across the top of it. Why is it called a snare? Because they look like a snare, perhaps. Exactly, because it's kind of, it's the string that kind of vibrate against the bottom of the drum. So, and the idea Mae'n debyg, oherwydd mae'n edrych fel sner, efallai. Yn union, oherwydd mae'r strynau sy'n fibrato ar y ddechrau y drum, ac mae'r syniad yw bod y sner yn ffyrdd neu rywbeth y gallai rhywun ei ddod o hyd. Fy instrument ffavorit, ac rwy'n eithaf dda o'r instrument hwn, yw'r triangle. A, yw hynny'r hyn yr oedd rhaid i chi ei wneud yn ysgol?

Mwy anodd na'i'ch credu, oherwydd nid oes llawer o'r cwrdd amdano. Ac os ydych chi'n golygu eich would believe, because there's not a lot of call for it. And if you miss your moment, it's a bit disappointing. You're going to be counting in three, four... Oh, dear. I imagine it's called a triangle simply because of its shape. Yes. But what about the xylophone? Because it's three angles.

Oh, the xylophone. So, did you ever play the xylophone? Did I ever? My sooty puppet and I are playing it most nights. I can imagine you with a sooty puppet. Actually, I should just say, whenever I go to Giles's house, it is full of the most fantastic bric-a-brac. So you have teddy bears everywhere. You have garden gnomes. How many gnomes do you have? Quite a lot. Yeah. But it is all gorgeous.

So a xylophone says... I haven't shown you my original sweep, have I? I've got a sooty that once belonged to Harry Corbett himself. He was the originator of sooty in 1948. He bought it at Blackpool. That's by the by. Keep going. OK. No, but the last time that I came to your house also,

you showed me your new Rip Van Winkle pyjamas. They were hanging. They had just come back from the dry cleaners. And it is an all-in-one. This was hanging downstairs in the sitting room. I did not get private viewing of these. And they're red and white stripes all the way down to the bottom, knitted with a hat and a pom-pom.

And you'd literally just want to get it. Well, when we had the interview, I got some pictures of Susie wearing this. No, you haven't. Which I can share with people. I haven't put them up on social media because I wasn't sure you'd be totally comfortable. So I'm going to let you see them and then I'll delete them if you don't want them. No, seriously. Anyway, yn iawn. Ie, beth roedden ni'n siarad amdano? Xylifonau.

Roedden ni'n siarad am y xylifonau. Y xylifonau. Felly mae'r xylifonau yn dŵr, a'r ffôn yn sain. O, fel mewn ffonig. Fel mewn ffonig. Yn ymddiriedol, mae'r xylifonau yn dŵr mewn pa iaith? Grec. Gwych. Ie, y rhan fwyaf.

Iawn, gadewch i ni ddod i'r cerddoriaethau cyffordd mawr nawr. Nid yw'n unig yn y pit o'r orchestrw, ond maen nhw'n ddigon ddiddorol. Y pianoforte. All right, let's get to the big keyboard instruments now. They're not necessarily the orchestra pit, but they are available. The pianoforte. The pianoforte, absolutely. We used to call it the pianoforte. Because piano means quiet, forte means loud. Yes. And the point is it covers the gamut.

Exactly. But why is it a keyboard instrument called the pianoforte? Because of the pedals. So you could adjust the volume in a way that was actually quite new. So before, every respectable household had harpsichord. That was the sort of instrument of choice. And you didn't really have much of a say, I think, in the volume. You couldn't really control it particularly well.

So the piano and forte was particularly revolutionary because you could control things that you couldn't before. Organ. particularly revolutionary because you could control things that you couldn't before organ well did you know that the word work in english and the word orgy are actually linked if you take them back work and orgy are linked yes and allergy careers i mean i was at the house of commons for a while uh how are they linked? An allergy as well. So they are linked because they all go back to a Latin word meaning energy.

So when we work, we are supposed to apply a certain amount of energy. When we have an orgy, I assume that you do apply a lot of energy. And if you have an allergy, it is your body's kind of energetic reaction to a certain response, reaction to a certain irritant so and an organ is part of this the whole same idea so it's it's something that is working within your body if it's a bodily organ and the organ that you play again you are sort of you know working on it gave actually gave us pulling out all the stops but i think we're going to talk about expressions later you're still you're still thinking about the orgy now, aren't you?

No, I'm not. I'm Nick Friedman. I'm Lee Alec Murray. And I'm Leah President. And this is Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect. We are a new show breaking down the anime news, views, and shows you care about each and every week. I can't think of a better studio to bring something like this to life.

Yeah, I agree. We're covering all the classics. If I don't know a lot about Godzilla, which I do, but I'm trying to pretend. I can't think of a better studio to bring something like this to life. Yeah, I agree. We're covering all the classics. I don't know a lot about Godzilla, which I do, but I'm trying to pretend that I don't right now. Hold it in. And our current faves.

Luffy must have his due. Tune in every week for the latest anime updates and possibly a few debates. I remember, what was that? Say what you're gonna say and I'll circle back.

You can listen to Crunchyroll Presents The Anime Effect every Friday wherever you get your podcasts. And watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. Hi, I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson, host of the podcast Dinners On Me. I take some of my favorite people out to dinner, including, yes, my Modern Family co-stars, like Ed O'Neill, who had limited prospects outside of acting.

The only thing that I had that I could have done was organize crime. And Sofia Vergara, my very glamorous stepmom. Well, who do you want to be comfortable with? Or Julie Bowen, who had very special talents. I used to be the crier. Or my TV daughter, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, who did her fair share of child stunts. They made me do it over and over and over.

You can listen to Dinners on Me wherever you get your podcasts. Let's play my game. I'm not sure this is going to raise the tone at all, actually. The idea is, every week, Susie chooses three words which have a real definition. But when we do these live podcasts, we invite the audience to come up with their own definitions.

And then we select the one that we think is the best, and they get a Something Rhymes With Purple T-shirt. Indeed. So the first one is pinguessant. Pinguessant. Pinguessant. And it's spelt pinguessant, which explains the first one from Tansy,

who I met. I love the word Tansy. Tansy, we love meeting Tansy. Tansy says that a pinguessant is an iridescent penguin that has a strong whiff of cheese scones about themselves. As in a pingu scent. I pingu pingu is just it was just brilliant marion says it's delivering superb shots when playing table tennis pinguessant very good and carrie from bristol says it describes somebody whose voice has the tonal qualities

of a microwave pink now microwave. Ping. Now... Like that. That's good too. And I think I have now finally dispelled the myth that the Welsh for a microwave is popity ping. It's lovely and apparently some people do call it that but it's not the true Welsh word.

You've seen my microwave, haven't you? No. Okay. Oh, dear. Right. So do you remember those? I remember them, yes, and I know which one is one of those three. Should we keep going?

Keep going. Quersigned. So this is Q-U-E-R-C-I-N-E. Ydych chi'n mynd i roi'r deffiniad gwirioneddol ar hynny? Ydyn ni'n gwneud Qwersine. Ydych chi'n fynd i roi'r deffiniad gwirioneddol ar y peth cyntaf? Mae'n ddrwg iawn. Dwi ddim wedi'i wneud. Felly, roedd gennym y tri deffiniadau ddiddorol. Mae'r deffiniad gwirioneddol yma. Mae'n golygu bod yn ffat.

O. Mae'n ffat. Ie, dim ond ychydig o ffat. Ie. Felly, Qwersine. Becoming fat. Oh. Congrescent. Yes, just taking on a bit of fat. Yeah. So, queer sign, queer scene. This is from Peter from Monmouthshire. Queer sign or queer scene is a place to be to find a gay friend. That's very good.

Sean Cahill from Due West One Mile says that it is medicine snuck in a quiche. says that it is medicine snuck in a quiche. And Ashley from Bristol says that it is a type of wood commonly used to fix squeaky stage boards. Oh, I love that. Queer science. It's very inventive here. Sometimes I ruin it with a pronunciation because, of course, people have only seen this written down

and interpret it in different ways. It actually means, and I love the idea that there is a word that exists to describe this it means relating to oak trees lovely i really like that one right my third word and i knew this would invite a little bit of fun epidictic who epi dick dick epidictic Who? Epi-dick-tick. Epi-dick-tick. Good luck. Okay, so Sally Weeks says, it's watching Countdown from the first episode, first ever episode, epi-dick-tick.

Well, I love the fact that some people have watched Countdown from the very first episode, so that's fine. She's been brought by her carers. But also Dick, I think Dick's signing for dictionary. Very good, very clever. Yeah, I like that. So Shirley from Cleveland says, episode so that's why she's been brought by her carers but also dick i think dick sounding for dictionary very good very clever i like that so shirley from clevedon says something a male nudist suffers from after a walk in the woods oh that's so good oh that's very good and john pinkney says it is skin found on custard. Which is never good.

So it actually means, if something is epidictic, it displays the skill of the speaker. So you, Giles, might deliberately choose a speech that suits your delivery perfectly and that is epidictic because it's, yeah. So I think actually these definitions are far better. So do you need a reminder? No, I don't need a reminder. I think it's a close run thing between the microwave, which was, remind us of that definition. Yeah, so the microwave was, this is for pinguescent, Carrie, describe somebody whose voice

has the tonal qualities of a microwave quite clever and then i'm afraid the epidectic that was involved a naturist a major a male naturist yes read it again something a male nudist suffers from after a walk in the woods, an epi dick. I think it's so clever. Even though it's saucy, I think it deserves the T-shirt. Yes, well done. This is our last show for a while.

This is our last show for a while. We have so... Well, I've got to read my poem, but then we'll go. Yes, of course. The moment I've read my... And it's a short poem today. Okay.

Because I'm going to read a haiku to you. Lovely. What is the origin of haiku? It's a, is it a Japanese form of poetry? It is Japanese, and that's all the dictionary will tell me, I'm pretty sure. But leave it with me, and I'll tell you. You read your poem. Yes.

And I will. Somebody sent me this. Andrew Green Man. That's a rather good name. I think, well, I think his name was Andrew Man, but he put the green in to make it sound rather good. Anyway, Andrew Green Man sent me a lovely book of called when nature speaks to us and it's got lovely haikus in it and you know haiku is it's basically i think three lines yeah you remind me what the form is it's a certain number of beats in each line and it

usually has to pertain to nature and i I like this one. Thin grass, whispering as the wind cries for the sun. Come back to me, please. I like that one. I'll do one more. The tide will not stop ever rolling into shore. The ocean's blue rhythms. They don't always make sense.

I'll just do two more. They don't always make sense, but this one is rather lovely. The cool breeze kisses yn gwneud gwneud gwneud. Rydw i'n gwneud dau mwy. Nid yw'r rhain bob amser yn gwneud gwneud gwneud. Ond mae'r un hwn yn eithaf hyfryd. Ysgwyl y ffwrdd hwnnw, y teuluoedd gyda'r ddwych mwyaf, poedraeth yn symud. Mae'r un hwn yn fwy amrywiol. Rheindropau ar glas,

yn rhedeg i gyd i lawr. Rheintiwch. dildo refrigerator. My apologies to Andrew Greenman. I made the last one up. It comes from the Japanese haikai no ku, meaning light verse. Lovely. Yes, that meaning light verse. Lovely. Yes.

That was light indeed. Well, this has been another episode of Something Rhymes with Purple. And it's the last of our live shows for the time being. We thank all the purple people who've turned up. And even strangers come in hoping to see a fine production of Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. And they've seen us instead. But we hope you've enjoyed it. We've enjoyed it very much.

I ought to add that Something Rises Purple is a Sony Music Entertainment production, isn't it? It was produced by Ania Dio, alongside Sam Hodges and Andrew Quick from Tilted, additional production from Hannah Newton, Chris Skinner, Jen Mistry, and... Well, is this our swan song together? Because we might actually move on, do you think?

I don't know what's going to happen. I know what I'm going to say in a moment. After we've thanked her. Tell me who we're going to like. Well, the beardy weirdy. The beardy weirdy. Somebody called Gully. Yes.

But we're going to end with our two favourite Bristolian words, aren't we? Cheers, Drive!