Something Rhymes with Purple - Elixir

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

This week Susie and Gyles explore the wonderful ancient world of alchemy... And have a big announcement to make straight from Purple HQ. We love hearing from you, find us @SomethingRhymes on Twitter and Facebook, @SomethingRhymesWith on Instagram or you can email us on our email address here: [e-mail] Want even more purple, people? Join the Purple Plus Club by clicking the banner in Apple podcasts or head to purpleplusclub.com to listen on other platforms' Don’t forget that you can join us in person at our upcoming tour, tap the link to find tickets: www.somethingrhymeswithpurple.com  Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week:  Hookum Snivy: Petty; deceitful, sneaky. Pickthank: A person who seeks favor by flattery or gossip. Highmadandy: A person that has more money than sense. Gyles' poem this week was 'A New Double Act' by Alistair McGowan A Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts     To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card, Other conditions apply. Hello and welcome to another episode of Something Rhymes with Purple. My name is Giles Brandreth, and I've been the co-host of this podcast for the past five years with my friend, colleague, collaborator, in my view, the world's leading lexicographer. It is Susie Dent. How are you today, Susie? I'm very well, thank you. But I noticed that you used a past tense for I have been, and we have some news, don't we? We do have some news. In fact, I was leading up to the fact that we first met a long time ago on a United Kingdom television program called Countdown. I'm explaining about Countdown to our international listeners who may not know

about it, but it's one of the most popular programs on British television. It's on a channel called Channel 4. It began more than 40 years ago. And in the early years, I was a regular on Countdown. And that's where I met Susie Dent, because she has presided for how many years now? 33 years, this is. For 33 years, a third of a century, she has been sitting in what's known as Dictionary Corner on this show, which is a celebration of words and numbers. And she's brilliant on that and has as her sidekick lots of interesting people. And for a while, I was one of those. So that's when I first met Susie. She was very young and very beautiful

at the time. And now, sadly, she's not so young, but she's still quite as beautiful. But the program's called Countdown. And the point is, I thought we should begin today's program by telling everybody that this is a countdown to the last edition of Something Rhymes in Purple in its present incarnation. So we are saying goodbye to this particular podcast in four episodes time, aren't we? We are, which makes us both sad and excited, I think. So I'm a little bit betwitted

because there will be new things to come. And of course, we will keep the wonderful, and I genuinely mean wonderful, purple people community posted as to where we are going next and what we're going to do. So it's not the end, but as you say, in this form, it is. And maybe that's a good thing because you've just delivered probably the biggest insult that you've delivered to me in over five years. No, I don't think so. I mean, we have to face the fact that you're older. I'm older. I don't mind the old bit. I'm considerably older. And you are as beautiful as ever.

I was fishing. I sadly am not. I've lost even more hair. My jowls are almost now touching my knees. It's tragic what's happened to me. But, you know, we have to accept change. We do. I'd be grateful for it.

I remember years ago, I met the famous psychiatrist, British psychiatrist, well, in fact, Irish psychiatrist called Anthony Clare. And he told me that you will be unhappy if you can't accept change. He said to me, change is the salt in the soup of life. People say don't rock the boat, but actually, a little gentle rocking does you good. And that is perfect for language, actually, because it cannot stand still. And we are charting language as it moves ahead of us, because we will never catch up with it. And because our purple life is changing, we thought we would talk about change today and the old tradition of alchemy, of turning base metal into gold. So as we're on a journey of change, we're going to explore change that was once certainly believed in, wasn't it? Well,

explain to me what alchemy, the word alchemy means, and who the original alchemists were. I love to think that there is alchemy in language as well. In fact, I'm sure of it. Well, alchemy was really the medieval predecessor to chemistry, and it concerned itself with the transmutation of matter. And this was in particular the attempt to convert metals, particularly base metals, into gold, but also to find a universal elixir, and particularly the elixir of life. of life. Just in terms of alchemy, before we go on to elixirs, etc., we of course get chemistry from there. Because do you remember al- is the prefix in Arabic for the, and kimia was from the Greek for the art of transforming metals. So we took the kimia bit and made it into chemistry. So

they are inextricably linked. And of course, we get chemist and everything else from there. And in medieval times, there were people who were professional alchemists. Yeah. Or that was their vocation, at least. No. And they believed they could transform. They absolutely was. And indeed, it was considered to be a very important part of learning. So they had two, I suppose, models of education. They had the trivium and they had the quadrivium, which involved different subjects. And at the heart of these was a knowledge of not just chemistry, because it wasn't known as that at the time,

but it was the sort of the secret magic, I suppose, that enables such things as alchemy to take place and the magic arts. So having a knowledge of the magic arts was really important. And that is why grammar, as you know, encompassed all learning. And that included knowledge of the magic arts. And then they needed something for the magic bit per se as grammar began to narrow down and focus on education and eventually just language. And so glamour, do you remember, is a spinoff from grammar and that's embraced the kind of magical allure and the knowledge of the occult, I suppose, in its positive form. Well, we're all looking for the elixir of maybe youth or possibly even of eternal life. The idea of an elixir, what is the word elixir? You mentioned it. What does that mean? Yes. So that too came to us from Arabic, which of course was a, the Arabic speaking world was a huge center of education and science in particular. And they took that word from a Greek word, xylion, which meant powder for drying wounds. And it was first used in alchemy.

And it was used, as we know, as the name of this sought-after preparation that could turn these ordinary metals into gold, or if it was the elixir of life, could prolong life indefinitely. And believe it or not, Xerox, which is the name for the copying process, if you Xerox something, you photocopy it, that looks back to that original Greek word for powder, because it uses dry powder, that particular process. Forgive me, I thought of Xerox, I assumed it was an invented name by the company that was looking

for a unique name for its product, but not so. Or they found a unique name by going to an old Greek word. Exactly right. So it was a trademark name, an invented name in the 1950s that was based on xerography.

I had to check the pronunciation where you put the emphasis there. So xerography was a dry copying process when coloured powder or black powder adheres to a surface and it remains electrically charged once you expose it to light from an image of the document that you're copying. So that was a process and of course Xerox seemed a really good reflection or a name for that, but it is all based on the xerone meaning the dry powder and they they then patented their own particular riff on it so when people were looking for the

elixir of youth it was really to prolong their lives is that the idea it was to try and ensure eternal life which eternal life well i think so i mean we're still looking for that in some ways and as you say we talk about the elixir of youth, don't we? It's very much the same idea. length of your life, and that is to find happiness. Not ecstasy, but a kind of contentment and easiness. Because he showed me the research that indicates that happy people will live from seven to 10 years longer than unhappy people. That's incredible. I'm not talking about people who are clinically depressed. I'm talking about people who are low mood. Or people who are optimistic, presumably. People who are optimistic. Yes, looking up and out, being interested in the world beyond you.

That was something that Carl Jung, another great psychotherapist, learned from studying the case histories of many of his patients, that those who had a positive outlook, who did indeed look up, out, were interested in nature, art, science, the world beyond them, lived longer lives than those who were looking down and in. So observing, I mean, I'm particularly, have I yet sent you a copy of my new book, The Seven Secrets of Happiness? I don't think I have, have I? Not a new one, no. There's a new version of it because I realized that when I first met Dr. Clare,

it was 20 years ago, and that now the world has evolved and there are things like mindfulness, years ago, and that now the world has evolved and there are things like mindfulness, all sorts of stuff has been learned and is being proved popular that may help in the search for happiness. So I'm very much into it. And what is interesting is an elixir is elusive, but actually there are practical ways you can help yourself to live a longer life. This word elixir, is it very old? You say it comes from Arabic. I mean, is it thousands of years old? Yes, well, Arabic and then from Greek. So yes, it is very old.

As is, I mean, alchemists in various ages and right back to antiquity have tried to find this sort of magic potion. And potion, in fact, is a really interesting one because that originally, if you take it back to Latin, potare means to drink. A potion was poison originally and then was applied to other kinds of liquids that weren't so toxic. And do you remember where toxic comes from? from oh dear no maybe as you tell me it'll come back to me give me a hint give me a clue before we finish this podcast i think i need to um oh i don't know how can i do i need to write down lots and lots of things and send them to you that's sort of my top my top hundred

etymologies or something well excuse me that's another book that's suzy dense i have a shelf full of suzy dense books and there's going to be another couple probably this year. I haven't yet read her novel, but have you not done my 100 favorite etymologists? Well, I probably have, actually. I probably have. I haven't called them that, and they do change all the time. But anyway, let's get back to toxins. Was it a bell?

Is it a sound? No. There's a toxin sound, isn't there? T-O-C-S-I-N? Oh, yes. Nothing to do with that. This is definitely an X. And it is linked to toxophily.

You know what toxophily is? Oh, yes, indeed. Bows and arrows. This all comes back to me. It is linked. The poisoned end of the sharp end. The poison tips of arrows. The poison tips of arrows.

I knew all this. Yes. Older listeners will be sympathetic because they will realize as time goes by, we've got it all inside our computer, but our mental computer is rather like our actual computer where the beach ball of death or doom often appears and it works more slowly. This is what is happening to my mind these days. It's all in there, but it takes a little longer to come out. Toxophily is bone marrow. Archery, yes.

Archery, yes. And so that's related to toxins, which is in turn related, not linguistically, but in semantic terms, in meaning terms, to a potion, which is interesting. A potion is related to poison. Yes. As we've established. And of course, then your potions may be hermetically sealed. In other words, put somewhere in a container that is complete and airtight. And you might know about Hermes, because Hermes was regarded as the founder of not just alchemy, but astrology, actually. He was the son of Zeus and Maya.

He was the messenger of the gods, gods of various things. I picture him with little wings on his heels and on his back. So he had a winged rod. That sounds like euphemism. Winged shoes, a broad-brimmed hat often and is depicted as a bit of a sort of herald and actually weirdly Hermes goes back to a Greek word meaning a heap of stones because um in antiquity he was represented by a carved rock really uh so that that's a rather strange one but is there not a brand of fragrance called Hermes?

Yes there is And is that, do you think it's named maybe their symbol is this character? I'm sure I'm sure that it is related although he wasn't just the messenger of the gods he was also the god of merchants so that makes sense

but thieves, not too good and oratory so yes he kind of doubled up or tripled up on things so that makes sense, but thieves, not too good, and oratory. So, yes, he kind of doubled up or tripled up on things. But he was identified as basically inventing the process of making a glass tube airtight, which was a key process in alchemy. Hold on. Hermes himself was credited with this. No. Well, there was Hermes. Now, I'm not going to be able to pronounce this. Trismegistus, the thrice great Hermes. And yes, mystics and alchemists believed that he was responsible. So,

they ascribed this kind of magic process as coming from Hermes. Because he was also the god of science and art and lots of other things. It's rather like being a member of the royal family. They have to be a patron of all sorts of charities. So the British king is the patron of the NSPCC or the RSPCA, and as well as being his wife's patron of the Kennel Club. You spread it about a bit.. You spread it about a bit. You do spread it about a bit.

But that would not be their quintessence, which is another word that is related to this particular field, the quintessence of something, which is the intrinsic central constituent of something, isn't it? Yes, the quintessence. And that is an old word. And does the quint have anything to do with the number it? Yes, the quintessence. And that is an old word. And does the quinta have anything to do with the number five? Yes, absolutely. So, in medieval Latin,

the quinta essentia was the fifth essence. And if you take your classical philosophers in the Middle Ages, they believed there were four elements that made up everything that existed in the world. So, it's kind of linked to the bodily humors, really, where humors were thought to, as you know, determine an individual's temperament. And there you had blood and phlegm and bile, well, you had yellow bile and then you had black bile. Anyway, the quintessence was the fifth element, and it was believed that it was hidden in all things and that the heavenly bodies were composed of this fifth magical substance, which was the quintessence. And then it came from there to mean the kind of most intrinsic or perfect example of something. Before we leave Hermes, I have to tell you, and this is before listeners get in touch with us, either from Germany or France, that Hermes, the fragrance, the fashion brand, is actually named after its founder, Thierry Hermes. Oh, that's very interesting.

He was born in Krefeld in Germany to a French father and a German mother. Wow. They moved to France, and then he first established a harness workshop. And so it was just the family name was Hermes. Hermes. That's why. So it's nothing to do with. Well, it probably is ultimately though.

To do with. Well, yes, it is. Of course, that's why he would have been called. Yeah. His family would have been called Hermes. Well, I'm going to move on to alcohol, which I know you no longer enjoy. It's early in the day.

I know. Only four episodes to go and she's already drinking her listeners purple people don't don't do what she's doing it was it was uh used very well it in some ways was the kind of result of alchemy um because in her in its earliest use it referred to powders that were obtained by sublimation during alchemy. And do you remember sublimation from your chemistry classes? You know how badly I did at chemistry. No, well, likewise.

I think of all, speaking of, I think we can say this now, of all the episodes that you and I have ever done of Something Wise with Purple, we did get slightly rinsed for our chemistry episode where people said, love the podcast, but don't go near science again. You're right. Because you and I were a little bit hapless. There are several hundred episodes and they'll always be there on the archive. Seek out the one on chemistry. No, don't seek it out. And we fall about laughing and saying, no wonder they've got to change direction. These guys know nothing. I couldn't tell a pipette from a Bunsen burner. But with alcohol, what happened again, you will find that Arabic al, the, and then kol referred to the powder that was obtained by sublimation. And then later, it became not just a powder, but anything that was kind of distilled, particularly

a spirit. And then it went off in the direction we know it has today. And then it went off in the direction we know it has today. But if you go back to that al-kul it was in Arabic, and if anybody knows their makeup palette, you will know that there is a kohl, K-O-H-L, eye pencil with which you can, it's like an eyeliner, and you can smudge it and it's black and stuff. That is made up up or originally was made up of the powder that then went on to produce alcohol. And I always assumed that was spelled K-O-H-L.

It probably can be, but it's... It is, again, with that Arabic influence. Very good. Any other words inspired by this subject of alchemy before we take our break? Well, I've mentioned the grammar and glamour, which I absolutely love. Well, I've mentioned the grammar and glamour, which I absolutely love. We should maybe just mention aqua, which is water, of course, from the Latin for the sea or rain, etc. And it was used particularly in combinations in old chemistry and alchemy for a solution. So you had what we would call royal water, aqua regia, because it had the power

apparently to dissolve gold and other noble metals. And then of course we have aqua vitae, which has survived in English. And I'm trying to think, what does aqua vitae, isn't- The water of life, but is it some sort of a brandy? It's the wash of life. Is it whiskey? Is it brandy? I don't know. Yes, you're right. Because I don't drink, I don't know. You're right.

Especially brandy. And then we have the eau de vie as well. Whiskey is from that as well. And then we have various words in Irish English and Scottish English for whiskey, all of which go back to that water of life. And it's, I think, vodka in Russian is little water. So it pops up there as well. But you could see how people might believe in alchemy, being able to turn base metals

into gold, if you think how grapes can be turned into wine. I mean, that's a miracle in itself. Just this juice, one day it's just plain grape juice, and a little while later, it's the most delicious nectar. Oh, nectar is a good word. It's the most delicious wine that you can imagine. really. There's so much, isn't there, that we owe to the Greeks. And we have nectar, which was the drink of the gods, and ambrosia, which was the food of the gods. And then we carry that through with the nectar that our bees collect, and indeed in the delicious fruit that is the nectarine that's there as well. And it all goes back to Greek. I'm now coming to think that maybe if we try hard enough, we can make this alchemy thing work.

And I'm interested that you're telling me all this. A lot of these words come from Arabic because I am familiar with when I did research on the history of British pantomime, the sort of Christmas entertainment that takes fairy stories and indeed many stories from the famous Arabian Nights stories

including Aladdin, Sinbad the Sailor but in Aladdin both a pantomime in this country and also of course the famous Disney film versions, there is the rubbing of the lamp that makes genies appear. This is all part of the same thing, isn't it really?

It is. It is all part of the same thing, isn't it, really? It is. It is all part of the same thing. And yeah, there are golden threads throughout our literature and indeed our language. So who knows what will be discovered in the future? Genie comes from genius, I assume. That's from Arabic as well. So it's nice, actually,

that I'm not completely just talking about um latin french and greek because oh the woman is obsessed with german ladies and gentlemen i am obsessed with german but um but yeah so a guardian or protective spirit um came to us from french i'm afraid genie um but it is i think a, if you take it back far enough, to the Arabic jinn, J-I-N-N, which in Arabian and indeed Muslim mythology is a spirit of lower rank than the angels who's able to appear in human and animal forms. Well, when I was a cub scout, we were told that if we rubbed our knees together, eventually we could light a fire. I think actually it was supposed to be sticks of wood.

But they do say that, don't they? Rub some sticks of wood together and eventually. Yes, and that is true, I think. Well, isn't that extraordinary? So amazing things can happen. Yeah. So there are more things in heaven and earth that are dreamt of in our philosophy. Is that the cue for taking a little quick break?

That is the cue for a break. And then we'll come back to, well, as you know, my favorite bit. Oh, letters and emails. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no.

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manga, and, obviously, anime. Get the latest on The Anime Effect. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts. And watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. This is Something Rhymes with Purple, Giles Brandreth and Susie Dent. And we've reached, I think, the favorite part of the show for both of us because we love hearing from you, the purple people.

And we are thrilled that there are so many of you in so many different countries around the world. Susie, who have we been hearing from in recent days? Well, our first email today comes from Mish Little, who has sent us a voice note. Hi Susie and Giles. I'm not sure that you haven't already covered this, but I wanted to know why fridge has a D in it when the word it's short for, refrigerator, does not. Given similar words in other languages, refrigerator, frigo, don't have Ds, I wondered if it had been added in at some point. I seem to recall that someone in maybe the 18th century liked adding in letters to make words look better. Might be wrong about that one.

Yours sincerely, Mish Liddle. Oh, I love that question. And I think I've got a clue as to the answer. You were teasing me earlier, Susie, about my memory not being what it should be. I do remember this one. Taking a little while to remember toxology and toxin. Yeah. I think this has something to do with the commercial refrigerator that was called the Frigidaire.

Absolutely right. Totally right. Two reasons, I think, for this, Mish. One is that there is a chance, given the inconsistency with which we use the lesser G, it can be hard or soft. There would be a chance that we would look at F-R-I-G-E and think Frig. Ideally, we would have put a D in refrigerator as well, as you say, because that could be refrigerator. But we did change it. So I think for ease of pronunciation, which we don't do all the time, it has to be said, but also because absolutely right, in the 1920s, Frigidaire was an incredibly popular proprietary name for fridges.

And then that's got a D in it, not before the G as it happens, but maybe looking at that, it inspired us to start putting the D in again, I think, because it just made it easier to pronounce. Ultimately, it comes from the Latin adjective frigidus, cold. So the trademark name was actually spot on, frigidus. And that gave us, obviously, all sorts of words to do with refrigeration, etc. So yeah, frigidaire plus ease of pronunciation, I think is the answer to that one. And who do you think might be this 18th century figure who Mish believes had a fancy for adding letters to make words look better? I think what Mish is recalling is me possibly talking about silent letters and talking about Renaissance scholars who liked to put in extra letters in order to show off the Latin roots of words

because they felt that Latin was where it was at. And this is what happened during the Renaissance. It was a rebirth, and it was a rebirth quite often, of Latin and Greek beliefs and language. And so they put it in, but we never pronounced it. So I think that might be what Mish is talking about, but that wasn't at play here. Fine. Okay, thank you, Mish Little. Or should it be Mish Little? And we can drop the two Ds

because they've been, anyway, enough nonsense from me. I think Mish is a marvellous first name. Do you think it's actually Mish's first name? Could be Mishal. It could be Mishal, like the lovely Mishal. Oh, yes. But she spells it M-I-S-H. Anyway, I think it's a lovely name. Now, the next communication doesn't come with a voice note. So shall I read it to you? Please do. Dear Susie and Giles, I'm a Purple Plus member and a longtime listener. Incidentally, thank you so much for anybody who has joined the Purple Plus Club. The membership continues until the end of this month. And of course, you can listen to Purple Plus bonus episodes at any time

forever. Anyway, this is what Russell says. I am more than thankful for your wonderful podcast. It soothes me to sleep each night. That's a sort of two-edged compliment, I think. I believe that Susie's three words are therefore somewhere in my subconscious and will one day reveal themselves when I least expect them to. That said, I was pondering the word gauze, G-A-U-Z-E, as it is a fantastically warm-sounding word, gauze. I learned that it might have come from Gaza, where the people are unfortunately suffering right now. Can you please enlighten us all as to the origins of gauze, G-A-U-Z-E? Thank you, says Russell. Oh, Russell, I wish I could give you a definitive answer.

But you've pretty much given us already what we know or surmise. So there's two theories, really. One is that it comes from an Arabic word again, gaz, G-A-Z-Z, which meant raw silk. And the other is that it comes from Gaza, as you say, and because that city in Palestine was associated with the production of this fabric. Now, there's not a huge amount of evidence for that, but it has to be said that we do get some of our fabric names from places. So, damask is the one that springs to mind, which comes from Damascus. Denim is from Nîmes, famously in France. Tabby, originally, we talk about tabi cats. Originally,

that was a kind of silk taffeta, and it's based on the Arabic al-atabiyya, which was the name of a quarter of Baghdad where that fabric was manufactured. So it's not completely beyond the realms of possibility that this is where it comes from, but we don't have enough hard evidence yet. Very good. Excellent. Thank you very much, Russell, for being in touch with that. Thank you for everybody who has been writing to us. And keep writing because we love hearing from you. You have a trio of words because clearly Russell is waiting for them in order to nod off while you share them with him. Yes. And as you think, our lovely purple people cannot see the camera, but I was talking about coal and eyeliner. I just had a bit of my cat's hair because she's

been sitting on my lap in my eye. I've been rubbing my eye. I now have coal all over my face. So be thankful, purple people, that you cannot see the black smudges around my eyes at the moment. But yes, here's my trio. Hookum Snivy. What a great word. Hookum Snivy. How do you spell it? So Hookum, H-O-O-K-U-M. And then Snivy is S-N-I-V-E-Y. And it meant some kind of contrivance, really, especially one that was a little bit deceitful.

So it's been used for lots and lots of different things. One is an apparatus for undoing the bolt of a door from the outside, which isn't necessarily for good purposes. More neutrally, it could also be a device to help with putting on boots and that kind of thing. But if you say that somebody is up to a hookum or has got a hookum snivy, to a hook'em or kind of has got a hook'em snivy, I feel like that is going to be either a plot to do something slightly wrong or to, you know, some kind of apparatus or some kind of tool that will help them achieve it. But I just really like the sound of it, a hook'em snivy. The second one is a pick thank. Pick thank, that is a noun and it literally means one who picks a thank in other words they are being a bit of a flatterer and a sycophant they're sort of asking for gratitude

um by doing something that may not be particularly genuine so they're a bit of a sycophant or a telltale a pick thank I like the sound of that one. And this one, and I have to say, I've been really enjoying, well, I always enjoy reading Green's Dictionary of Slang by the brilliant Jonathan Green, which is available free online. And it's the most wonderful resource.

And I found this one, I was reminded of it. A high madandy, high madandy. And that is from Ulster. And Jonathan Green defines this very pithily as someone who has more money than brains. Oh, it's a good one. What's that again? High Mudandy. It's good. It's quite recent. A High Mudandy. So the M-A-D-A-N-D-Y at the end.

I like it. A High Mudandy. And high is H-I-G-H. Yeah. High Mudandy. So, yeah. Well, how about you? What poem do you have in store for us today? I've got a special poem because I've just been sent by my friend Alistair McGowan. You know Alistair? Oh, I love Alistair. Alistair, for those internationally who may not be familiar with his work, is a most delightful human being. He is a writer, a brilliant player of the piano. He learned to become a pianist in later life and is now, you know, concert standard.

He became first famous in this country, I think as an impressionist, but he's an actor, he's an entertainer, and he's a charmer. And he's now a poet. And he sent me his anthology of poems, not what we were expecting. And they are a complete delight, Susie, and I'm going to share some, I think, over the next two or three weeks with you. I'm going to begin with this one because it feels appropriate. We, for five years, have been a double act, and this is a poem called A New Double Act. So we are Giles and Susie. There's another Giles that actually appears in this poem. We've done, you and I, a program together called Celebrity Gogglebox. The regular Gogglebox features Giles and his wife Mary. They crop up in this list of double acts. But remember, the poem is called A New Double Act, written by Alastair

McGowan, who, as you'll discover as the poem goes on, doesn't feel he's quite as young as he was. This poem was written this year. Double acts. We love them, and have done all our lives. Laurel and Hardy, Adam and Eve, Morecambe and Wise, Hoddle and Waddle, Cannon and Ball, Farrow and Ball, Mitchell and Webb, French and Saunders, Harry and Paul, Richard and Judy, Ant and Deck, Tyne and Weir, the Nutties, Harry and Paul, Richard and Judy, Ant and Deck, Tyne and Weir, the Nutties, Giles and his wife Mary, Cain and Abel, Cain and Son, Steptoe and Son, Lennon and McCartney, Hall and Oates, Anton and Erin, on tour at various venues all around the country.

And now I meet a new double act. The knee specialist introduces me. Wear and tear, I'm afraid. Wear and tear. Where are they appearing? They're on tour at various joints all around my body. It's no laughing matter. Isn't that clever?

That's excellent. Well done, Alistair. It is. They're very clever. Some of them are very touching. And I'll share some more. Not what we were expecting. A new book from Alistair McGowan, recommended with real enthusiasm. Yeah, absolutely. He is brilliant, as is his wonderful and very talented wife, Charlotte. Oh, Charlotte. She, Charlotte Page. She sings like the Swedish nightingale. She acts like Dame Ellen Terry. And she really is. Yes, the voice of Dame Nellie Melba, the talent of Dame Ellen Terry.

And yes, the sweetness of, I don't know, who would it be? Aphrodite. I don't know. Nectar. I'm getting carried away now. All right. That's it, isn't it, for it be? Aphrodite. I don't know. Nectar. I'm getting carried away now. All right.

That's it, isn't it, for this week? That is it. Thank you so much for being with us. And thank you for all the fantastic correspondence that we get. As Giles says, we read all of it and we absolutely love it and appreciate it. So thank you for your company. And now all that's left is to remind you that Something Wise with Purple is a Sony Music Entertainment production. It was produced by Nya Deer with additional production from Jennifer Mystery, Richie Lee and Ollie Wilson.

Great. That's about 372 down, three to go.