Something Rhymes with Purple - Googly

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

We’re stepping up to the crease this week as we test our knowledge of the rich, and sometimes baffling, language of cricket. We discover the agricultural origins behind some of the terms, we find out the difference between the different ducks, and we have to admit to being stumped by some of the lingo along the way. As always we have a lot of fun, answer some of your brilliant questions, and Gyles signs off with a beautiful and poignant poem.  A Somethin’ Else production  We love answering your wordy questions on the show so please do keep sending them in to [e-mail]  To buy SRWP mugs and more head to.... https://kontraband.shop/collections/something-rhymes-with-purple. We currently have 20% off all our merchandise in our store.  If you would like to join the Purple Plus Club on Apple Subs please follow this link https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/something-rhymes-with-purple/id1456772823 and make sure that you are running the most up-to-date IOS on your computer/device otherwise it won’t work. Susie’s Trio: Flabellation: using a fan to cool down Fletcherize: to slowly chew your food (strictly speaking 30 times) Nyctalopia: poor vision in low light Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and occasionally the front pages for the next few weeks or even months. Susie Dent, are you a cricket fan? I wouldn't say I would sit down and watch the cricket on the telly but on those few occasions when the ashes have been incredibly tight then i love nothing better than listening to aggers jonathan agnew the brilliant cricketing commentator on the radio so i actually listen to most of my sport rather than watch it. And I love it that way. Football, Formula One, whatever, I just find so much more exciting, strangely, on the radio. I'm with you there totally. There's a kind of poetry about the

cricket commentators. You don't really need to understand what is going on. Being of an older generation than you, I remember Brian Johnston. Oh, yes. Just to hear his plummy voice talking about the cricket, I didn't really follow. I mean, I just wanted them to be making amusing talk about what they'd be having during the tea break, what the cake might be. The batsman's holding the bowl is Willie. Oh, yes, indeed. Well, that was very funny, wasn't it? Because there was a batsman genuinely called Holding. Holding. And there was genuinely a bowler called Willie or the other way around. That was the one where you just heard the tinkle of the teaspoon, didn't you? And then nobody could say anything because they were laughing so hard for about two minutes.

He had such a good giggle. There are people for whom cricket is everything. It's their comfort blanket. I remember many years ago when I was a member of parliament, the then prime minister, John Major, because he had trouble over Europe and people were saying they didn't have confidence in him, he stepped down as leader of the party, though continuing as prime minister, and put himself for re-election. And the night before the vote was going to be announced, he was sitting in the House of Commons alone. And one of the whips said, the prime minister is sitting on his own. You better go and sit next to him. Keep him company. And I thought, what am I going to be announced. He was sitting in the House of Commons alone. And one of the whips said, the Prime Minister is sitting on his own. You better go and sit next to him. Keep him company. And I thought, what am I going to say to him? Anyway, I sat down next to the Prime Minister.

And it was a tough night. He might have no longer been Prime Minister within a few hours. And I couldn't think of a thing to say to him. And he couldn't think of a thing to say to me. And then coming to sit at the same table on the other side of him was a man called Peter Brook, then coming to sit at the same table on the other side of him was a man called Peter Brook, who had been Home Secretary, was Culture Secretary. Anyway, he was the same sort of, he was a bit older than John Major. And he sat down next to him and he began chatting to him about the body line argument in cricket in the 1930s. And suddenly John Major was transformed. And these two men talked about cricket quite happily for half an hour.

I didn't know what the language was, who the people were, but clearly it was something that was for them all engrossing. As a child, I did play cricket and the report always said Giles has scored well again this term, meaning I'd lain in the long grass

keeping the score. It's a world with its own vocabulary though,'t it yes it definitely is um for sure he just reminded me of um two things one is listening to John Major and Mick Jagger wax lyrical together about the ashes uh once to a sort of unlikely meeting but again they're sort of they were joined by their their passion for that sport and also on Countdown Rachel Riley who is a co-presenter being asked by nick you were the presenter at the time do you like cricket rachel and she said no in the infamous words of bob marley i don't like cricket and of course she even got that wrong because it's tense it's 10 cc isn't it i think anyway um before we start yes can I just give you what body line bowling is,

since I've mentioned it? Yes. Because I then went and looked it up. Having felt so hopeless, I thought this is the answer. If ever I'm stuck next to somebody and they are likely to be of a vintage who would know about cricket, I can talk about body line bowling. Do you know, Susie Dent, what it is? I have absolutely no idea. Bodyline bowling, sometimes known as leg theory, it involved a large number of fielders being placed on the leg side while a fast bowler aimed the ball directly at the batsman, causing him to fend the ball away from his body, thus offering the possibility of a catch,

not to mention injury to the batsman concerned. And bodyline came to prominence when England toured Australia in 1932 to 1933. So that's 90 years ago. And yet people are still talking about it. Harold Larwood was the chief exponent

and the tactic caused massive unrest down under. The cricket authorities were not amused. Body line bowling was later outlawed. No more than two fielders may now be placed

behind the wicket on the leg side. So there you are. There you have it. So you begin to take us through all this, explain to us how the language of cricket has evolved so that we who don't really understand it can be introduced to it. As with all sports, I suppose, it's evolved over time and it's influenced really by games that came before. So the first reference that we have in the OED to cricket is from 1598 and it's in the borough records of the, is it the city of Guildford? Guildford is a city, isn't it? Because it's got a cathedral. Well, that doesn't, can I say that doesn't automatically apply? Oh, okay. Most cities do have a cathedral, but you're not

by definition a city because you have a cathedral. Okay so the what we read here in the borough records of guildford are john denick of guildford one of the queen's majesty's coroners of the county of surrey being of the age of 50 and nine years or thereabout saith upon his oath that he hath known the parcel of land for the space of 50 years or more and saith that he being a scholar in the free school of gilford he and several of his fellows did run and play there at cracket and other plays so it's about c-r-e-c-k-e-t-t so that is as i say 1598 and it began to develop pretty much in the southeast where of course gilford is of of England in the 16th and 17th centuries and then the earliest known version of the laws of the game goes back to 1744 so that's when it began to

be formalized and by the end of that century so the end of the 18th century organized cricket was much more common and by the 19th century already it was the English national game and you know it was the sort of ultimate expression of our national identity or Englishness really in general and of course now it's played right across the world but particularly those that used to be under British colonial rule like Australia, South Africa, West Indies etc. So that that's how it evolved but it's funny because cricket itself, the name of the sport, is etymologically a little bit elusive. So we're not completely sure where it comes from. It possibly does come from France because there is a mention of a basketball game called criquet in a village near Pas-de-Calais.

And this is in 1478. And criquet is an old French word meaning a post, you know, like a wicket. So that does suggest that it comes to France. And of course, did you used to play French cricket as a child? I did, I think. Is that where you sort of stand? Well, you hold the bat in a different way and you just sort of bat it away. I mean, I do remember playing French, but I'm not sure what French cricket is.

But it rings a bell. Well, there's no sort of wicket as such i used to play it with a tennis racket which i think was completely not allowed but essentially the whole idea is that you've got lots of other people trying to hit the ball at your legs and so you have to defend the lower part of your legs and if it hits your legs then you're out um but obviously if you can bat it far away that's great but. But I don't, not sure it involves doing any runs, but the purple people will be able to enlight you writing to us immediately that I do know that Guildford is not a city, though it has a cathedral. Oh, is it not? It's definitely not a city. In fact, people in Surrey often complain that they have no city in Guildford.

Woking, I think, is the largest town. Even that isn't a city. Walton-on-Thames isn't a city. Guildford isn't a city. Having a cathedral or a university can help you become a city, but it-on-Thames isn't a city. Guildford isn't a city. Having a cathedral or a university can help you become a city, but it's in the gift of the sovereign. The Queen decides who becomes a city. And I was the Member of Parliament for the city of Chester when it wasn't actually a city, it was just called the city of Chester. It didn't become a city until

after I was already the Member of Parliament for it. So it's a funny way it works. Yes, it is. Oh, well, thank you for that. So should we dive into this sometimes arcane world of cricket vocabulary? By the way, if you hear the gentle or not so gentle, the insistent buzz of what sounds like a thousand hornets in my neck of the woods, that's actually someone cutting their hedge next door. So let's start with the names for positions on the pitch because they are quite technical in cricket and they are very often very arcane. So we have literally quite silly, silly names. We have

the slip and the gully. I know you're going to stop me in a minute, but I'm just going to run through some of the things that we have. we have mid wicket and cover point we have leg of course and in the 19th century there was a position that simply called leg and that's a fielder who's on the leg side but that wasn't enough so leg on its own disappeared and now we have square leg fine leg long leg short leg and we also have silly point so this will give anyone who's not totally immersed in the language of cricket an idea of, it's a bit like golf, isn't it? That it is sometimes very impenetrable to any outsider. And in some ways, that was the point.

So the positions are, as I say, a little bit silly, but they do have, I think, some kind of logic behind them. So we have slip. And slip is for a fielder who stands behind the batsman or batswoman to catch anything that slips off the bat then we have silly mid-off which sounds ludicrous but it is silly apparently because the fielder stands in the direct firing line of the batter so it's silly as in stupid it's a silly place to be standing yes it's a silly place to be standing. Yes, it's a silly place to be standing, but it is an official position. And then there's gully, not our lovely gully, but gully, a fielding position that sits in the narrow alley between the point and the slips.

And it is like a gully. That's why it's called a gully. So there is some kind of logic there. It just it does sound quite strange. And it's you know, all of this has been around for absolute centuries and hasn't changed very much at all so those are the fielding positions we'll get to the the type of bowling techniques perhaps in a minute but what about test matches do you get involved in the test matches or do you like the the one day matches i mean as if i knew the difference i can't pretend that i understand i mean I'm still sort of gasping at all this extraordinary language. I mean, the test match goes on for a few days

and one day obviously lasts one day. Why is it called a test match? Is it named after the river Test? Oh, no, that's quite a nice one. Well, first of all, so, yes, test match I think takes a maximum of five days and the one day obviously is one day, takes a maximum of five days. And the one day, obviously, is one day, usually one day international. Different numbers of overs, etc.

Advantages and disadvantages to both. I think it's just a matter of taste. You know, there's a lot more drama sometimes in one day internationals. But, you know, true cricket fans, I'm sure, will take me up on that. It is very much a matter of choice. But Test Match goes back to the simple idea that a match or game is played to test which is the better of two players or teams.

I mentioned The Ashes. I mean, The Ashes are just wonderful to listen to if it is a very, very good series. That's the Test Match between England and Australia. It's held every two years. Do you know why it's called The Ashes? Something to do with burning the stumps. Not the stumps, but the little things that sit on top of the stumps.

Is that right? It was first used after England lost to Australia for the first time on home soil at the Oval in 1882. And apparently it goes back to the report the day after in the Sporting Times that had a mock obituary of English cricket. And it finished by saying the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia. Oh, so there aren't any actual ashes? I don't know if there are now sort of ceremonially ashes involved, but that's where it comes from. No, I'm now looking up something and I see that the Sporting Times, having written this obituary, somebody cremated a bale and placed it in an urn. And the urn was later presented to the Australians as a trophy, but then returned to Lourdes, you know, the headquarters of English cricket.

And that's where it remains to this day. I mean, gosh, it's a complicated world. And they like to speak their own language because why is this language not more inclusive why is it as it were a vocabulary all of their own well it goes back to any tribal shorthand doesn't it we often talk about this how language is an identifier it's a mark i mean teen slang delineates the group and if you're in it you know the lingo if you're out of it you don't know the lingo and the people out of it are normally parents and anybody who is unwanted so it's very much designed to keep insiders in and to make them feel like they are part of an important group but as you

say sometimes when they're steeped in the vocabulary of centuries past it can become quite isolating but some of it is quite clever so I always think you know cricket is it's always sort of been positioned as a quite romantic sport definitely associated with the upper classes you know picturesque village greens uh interval for tea and cake um and then a drink as the sun sets at the end of the day but it's a little bit the way they're sort of positioned on the field it's a little bit like almost like a chessboard or knights and archers on a sort of medieval battlefield really um and then the vocabulary can be quite sort of pastoral uh so there's a lot of agricultural vocabulary in there so you have the barn door and the stone waller those are batters who um are

defensive and difficult to dismiss and then you've got the hick which is somebody who can sort of bat by brute force but is actually quite unsophisticated in fact if you sort of have quite an ungainly swing of the bat and it looks a bit like you're using a scythe that is actually called agricultural and he's a bit of an agricultural batter there's a cow shot there's having a mow there's cow corner there's in the long grass there's quite a lot of that kind of pastoral idyllic vocabulary that's preserved even now are you going to tell me more about the cow shot so the cow shot is again it's the idea who um who kind of plays in a very sort of unsophisticated

way but with a lot of power so if you imagine being run down by a cow i suppose that's the idea it's a sort of you know very unsubtle but it does the job and also if you have such brute force that you aim your shot at cow corner the idea that that part of the pitch might be populated by cows because it's so remote um it's probably true you know like looking I mean, there probably were cows around the cricket matches. And then there's the long grass as well, as I say. Sometimes the grass grew long, even as they were playing. You know, you were mentioning test matches lasting now five days, and once apparently they lasted six days. But I think I'm right in saying that there were things called timeless tests a few years ago. And there was a famous one. This is material

garnered by me from John Major, former prime minister. There was one of these played in just before the Second World War, 1938-39, a timeless test. A total of 1,981 runs were scored by the two sides over a 10-day period. But the match still ended in a draw and rain came down. And anyway, they had to bring it to a close because the England players were due to catch the boat home. So that's probably why they abandoned timeless tests. That's interesting. And then there's 20-20 cricket, which we haven't mentioned as well.

That's a shortened form, another shortened form, but innings are limited to 20 overs a side, so it's called 2020. So as I say, I think it's definitely a matter of taste which one you prefer. And indeed, it's probably the same for the players. Gosh, there's so much here. I mean, I want to know. I want to know all about the pavilion and the wicket and the crease, the boundary, why they're so called, why isn't innings innings. Let's leave the pitch. Pitch, where innings innings. Let's leave the pitch.

Pitch, where does that come from? Let's leave the pitch for a moment and take a quick break. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome?

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Get the latest on The Anime Effect. So join us every Friday wherever you get your podcasts. And watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. It isn't quite cricket. That's an interesting expression that comes from the world of cricket,

which we're exploring with two people, Giles Bramlett and Susie Dent. Susie seems to know a lot about the language of cricket. I know absolutely nothing about cricket, but I'm discovering a lot just listening to of cricket. I know absolutely nothing about cricket, but I'm discovering a lot just listening to Susie. Pitch, we play it on the pitch. I've heard of pitch and

toss. I've heard of being, you know, something being as pitch and tar. But what is the playing pitch? Yeah, you know, this is why I love this podcast, because, you know, there are some things that I have been talking about all my life and never thought I wonder where that comes from yeah I think the cricket pitch etc goes back to the verb to pitch which was to you know if you pitch your tent you drive in a stake don't you pierce it with a sharp point and I think then from that idea of marking your position, if you like, so by thrusting your tent pins or your wickets, indeed, onto a piece of ground, that gave us the sort of surface on which things are played, the place where the wickets are pitched, etc. So I think that's where it comes from. Like pitching a tent, when you're putting up a tent, you're pitching a playing field,

you're outlining where you're going to play your game of cricket. Yeah, and you're pitching your wickets, I suppose. And the wicket, explain that to us, the word wicket. Okay. So many words that we use in cricket, the way we don't actually know the etymology, cricket itself and wicket is another one. You mentioned when we were talking about insects, do you remember last week that there was there a link between guep a wasp and guichet and a guichet in french is it's a grill opening at a ticket office so you go to the guichet at the gare at the station and you get your ticket but it can also mean wicked and i'm wondering if it's because

you know you have those three stumps that resemble that kind of grill that you used to have in old fashion ticket offices but where it comes from before that, we just don't know. There are similar words in Old Norse, meaning to move or to turn. But honestly, we just don't know. It seems to have come in after the Normans, but why? We're not sure. We're stumped. Stumped takes us to the stumps. Where do they come from? Yeah, so a stump is essentially, you know, like a tree stump. It's a block of wood. So that, yeah, simply explains that one. And the bale that goes across the top, the little bale? The bales, which are either of the two cross pieces that bridge the stumps.

And of course, that's what the bowlers and the feelers try to dislodge with the ball to get them out. of course that's what the bowlers and the feelers try to dislodge with the ball to get them out that seems to go back to a french word bailly meaning to enclose and possibly that came from the latin baculum meaning a rod or a stick which incidentally is also behind bacillum and bacteria because under a microscope little bacteria look like little sticks what i do remember from my days of playing cricket at school was the rule that the bail had to fall if you were going to be called out. However hard the stump was hit, however disfigured it was, unless the bail fell off the top, you weren't out. And I remember that only because I was jumped out of the way. When the ball came so fast, so hard and fast, I just jumped out of the way.

And the first hat trick as well. Did you ever get one of those? Did I get a hat trick? No, I was bowled out for, I was going to say a googly. I don't even know what a googly is. A hat trick is three, isn't it? Yes, a hat trick is three. And various theories as to where this came from, but it genuinely does seem to have started in cricket where somebody would get a hat if they scored a hat trick. So if a bowler got three successive batters. Three wickets in a row. Yeah, three wickets in a row. You can tell we really know our cricket.

I'm sure there are purple people absolutely tiring their hair out at this point. But if the subject was Jiminy cricket, I can tell you I'd be whistling a happy tune. What about the crease? I do remember the crease. Yeah, that simply is because it's a boundary and looks a little bit like a crease. I think there's nothing more to it than that. Boundary, very, very old. But, you know, again, I was looking at this

and just it seems so elusive, this vocabulary. We don't actually know the ultimate origin of boundary. We know that Shakespeare used to call it a born, B-O-R-N-E, and that that itself is linked to a boundary. But beyond that, we're not completely sure. So it's a strange one. Having been to India a number of times, I know that the word innings in India, they call it an inning.

They don't call it innings. And that makes total sense, actually, doesn't it? That it's an inning rather than an innings, because it sounds weird to have the S and make it singular. So innings, our first reference is at 1735, and it's simply a division of the game, isn't it? In which one side bats or is in. In other words, it's their turn,

the turn taken by one team at batting. So they're in in play. Can we do some other stuff about the scoring? I mean, this language, you you know out for a duck golden duck and a diamond duck i mean so if there's a number that cricket is obsessed about it is definitely zero and that is when a batter is dismissed without scoring any runs but they obviously don't call it that so it began as a duck's egg so a duck's egg obviously is round looks like a zero and that's as simple as it was and it started in schoolboy slang as you might imagine to mean naught zero but there is also as you say golden duck that's used for when the

batter is dismissed with the first ball they face then if a batter is dismissed without scoring in both innings of the same match, they bag a pair. And if both dismissals are the first ball, which must be just the worst fate in the world, that becomes a king pair. And if a batter is unfortunate enough to be dismissed without facing a single ball from a bowler, it can happen apparently,

they are described as having a diamond duck or a platinum duck. It's a bit like anniversaries, isn't it? Well, interesting that the pair that you referred to there, I thought when I was a child, it's going back a long way, it was called a pair of spectacles. But a score of naught in both innings. A pair of spectacles.

Oh, that's good. I like that. Like gig lamps. Oh, I like that. That's really good. I think now the score of zero is also known as a blob or a balloon. So that's just a bit of extra tribal talk for you i'm just going to finish with some of the bowling techniques because

everyone will have heard of a googly and that is a ball which breaks from the off which is also called a wrongan or in australia a bozy after its inventor bernard bosenkett i know you're going to ask me why googly the honest answer is we don't know um again lots and lots of theories but we don't know there is a flipper that's a faster skiddy ball that's bowled by leg spinner there's a ducera which comes from the hindi or punjabi word. There's Jaffas, there's lollipops, there's all sorts of special deliveries. And you know what, I think maybe we should do a bonus episode on these because I think we're running out of time and I've got a list of about 20. Well, look, so if you want to know more about the unique lingo associated with cricket,

do sign up to the Purple Plus Club, where alongside ad-free listening, you will get lots of bonus content on cricket, as well as poetry and swear words and lots of other things that we have fun with in the Purple Plus Club. To do that, all you do is follow the link in the programme description. Well, I think we've done enough for cricket for one day. It isn't quite cricket. How long has that expression been around? It isn't quite cricket. It's just not cricket. Again, I think that goes back to when it was being seen, probably 19th century, maybe early 20th century,

when it was, if it's just not cricket, it's just not the way that England plays. You know, it has become as stereotypical as the stiff hop-a-lit, which, as you remember, was American, really. But yeah, it's just not cricket. Goes back, I think, quite a long way. Feel free to put us straight on, Cricket, by getting in touch with us.

You can send us a voice message or indeed you can send us an email. It's purple at somethingelse.com. And people have been in touch, haven't they? They certainly have. And the first one to hear from, I'm not sure quite how I pronounce your name, Chris, but it's Chris Caprice, I think, which is lovely.

So it's K-A-P-R-Y-S. Hello, Susie and Giles. I live on a farm and recently while driving past a bale of hay, something struck me. Luckily, it was just a little purple thought. What does the pitch of pitchfork refer to? My first thought was of musical pitch and whether the farmer's pitchfork is related to a tuning fork. I doubt this is the answer, as agriculture surely predates the settling of musical standards, but that's just a hunch. Then I thought of the tar-like substance that I believe is used for waterproofing,

for example on roofs and boats, as in the pitch black stuff. Perhaps the pitchfork was at one point more commonly used to shift this muck. Perhaps the pitchfork was at one point more commonly used to shift this muck. Thinking of boats made me realize pitch is also used to refer to the orientation around an axis in 3D space, as in pitch, yaw, and roll. Then again, you can pitch something over the side, as well as pitch a baseball, so I wonder if it's simply a reference to throwing and spreading the hay with this tool. Just pitching a few ideas while drinking cool lemonade poured from a pitcher.

Such a multi-talented homonym, I wonder if pitch has more meanings than Giles has jumpers. Thank you both for making the world of words ever more wonderful. Chris in Colorado. Isn't that lovely? That is lovely. And we touched on pitch, didn't we, just a minute ago. And you could tell that I was slightly flummoxed because there's no straight sense development of this word in all its

different meanings and chris has outlined them all beautifully there so the name of the sticky dark substance that he mentions that goes back to the latin pics but the other pitch that has senses ranging from the quality of a musical sound through the cricket pitch that we were talking about, the area of ground for a game, to pitching as in aiming at a target. If you pitch an idea, that is all really unclear. We don't quite know what the journey was, but I can, hurrah, tell you that a pitch fork

hasn't really got anything to do with that kind of pitch because it used to be a pick fork, which makes much more sense. So you pick things up with your fork, but it was influenced by the idea of pitching or throwing sheaves onto a stack. So you were pitching it by throwing it. So it was a pick fork. Let's leave it at that. I think that makes much more sense. But of course, we had to go and mess it up a little bit because we began associating it with something else. Very good. Thank you for that. We've got another query here. This is from Patrick Loughlin. Hi, Al. Love the podcast. Keep it up. I was told SCRAN is an acronym that stands for

Sultanas, Currants, Raisins and Nuts. Is this true? Thank you. Thank you, Patrick. No, it's not true. And I have to say a bag of Sultana's currants, raisins and nuts doesn't particularly appeal to me. This reminds me, Giles, of GORP amongst walkers. GORP, G-O-R-P is an acronym for granola, oats, raisins and peanuts, or good old raisins and peanuts, which is the kind of useful sustenance on the trail. But no, or good old raisins and peanuts which is the kind of useful sustenance on the trail but no it seems to not have anything to do with that and have everything to do with an Icelandic term skran s-k-r-a-n which means rubbish or odds and ends but even that has been not completely tied down we do know it goes back to 1724 it It's been around for a while, particularly in criminal slang.

And skran in those days actually could also mean a reckoning or a tab at a pub, a boozing ken, as they used to call it. And it was in nautical slang really that skran came to mean food or rations. Cold skran was cold refreshment really. But I think the idea of sort of miscellaneous items that are kind of cobbled together in that Icelandic sense, even though we haven't, as I say, completely proved that, I think that makes sense to me. Totally. Do send us your emails. We love to hear from you. And we do our best to give you answers, though, to some questions that aren't answers. You've got three words for us this week, Susie. Are they intriguing ones? They usually are. Yeah, well, I hope so. they've all sort of got a history to

them um the first one it's actually just doesn't sound particularly nice but this is something that i'm hoping we'll be able to have to do a little bit over the summer and that's to use a fan to cool down but obviously not too much we don't want heat waves we don't want climate change but we might want a little bit of flabellation flababellation goes back to the Latin flabellum, meaning a fan. So to flabellate is to use a fan to cool down. So that's the first one. The second one, if I was asking you to fletcherise more, Giles, you know what I'd be asking you? Fletcherise? Yes. Something to do with bows and arrows a fletcher oh no it's actually an eponym because to fletcherize is to chew your food very very slowly and it goes back to a doctor called fletcher who advised that

everybody chews their food at least 30 times before swallowing it i've tried i've tried that i can't get past 10 well my father was very keen on this. And in the 1920s, when he was a boy, if you had your grape nuts for breakfast, you had to choose 15 times on one side of the mouth, 15 times on the other before you swallowed. Yeah, that's fletcherising. Well, how interesting. So probably a figure from the beginning of the 20th century.

15 on each side. Gosh, OK, I'll have to have another go at it. And finally, this just reminded me, I was reminded of this rather because i had to go up in my loft the other day and search for something and i went out without a flashlight could not see where i was going and hit my head very hard on a beam nyctalopia n-y-c-t-a-l-o-p-i-a nyctalopia means poor vision in low light. Nikto being night time. Nikto being right time and opiate. Yes, they have myopia, et cetera.

That means the vision part. Three intriguing words. Thank you. What about your poem for us today? I've deliberately chosen a poem that's got nothing to do with cricket, to give people who are not into sport something a little different at the end of the podcast. And this is a very intriguing poem because it's the only poem by this author that I know to have been published. And I was introduced to it by the novelist Teresa Waugh. And she encountered an old lady who was 98 at the time of her meeting her,

an old lady called Patricia O'Brien. And this lady had spent a lifetime writing poetry and had never had any of it published. And she met Teresa Waugh when she was 98 and said, I would love to have one of my poems published. And Teresa Waugh set about getting a poem published. And she got to know this lady, who she told me was a remarkable person. And she grew very fond of her during the short time she knew her. In fact, she said only a week or two before she died, Patricia O'Brien was dancing with her Zimmer frame as a carer in the home squeezed out old tunes on a squeeze box. How amazing. She had a love of poetry that was intense and could recite reams of it by heart to her dying day. So I'm going to read to you the only poem that we know

published by this lady. And I read it because I think it's a lovely piece of verse. But also, if people are listening, thinking, actually, I write poetry. I've never had it published. There's always hope. You could be 98

before your first poem is published. And it might be as good as this one, which is called This Time, Next Time by Patricia O'Brien. All in a ring they sang together, this time, next time, sometime, never. Laughing girls who dropped together, this time, next time, sometime, never. This time, next time, sometime, never, sang the lovebird from the tree. Surely my love will come to me this time, next time, perhaps never,

sang the lovebird from the tree. Golden days in gilded weather, my love, my love has come to me, and we shall dance and sing together, constant and true in all our weather, this time, glad time, joyfully, sang the lovebird from the tree. This time, next time, sometime never, my love, my love has gone from me, dropped through a hole in the world as he, out of time to eternity, and never again to come to me, and never again to come to me. That's so sad. It's a sad poem, but I think it's rather beautiful, rather affecting and amazing. A lady of 98 had written that and she was so determined that somehow it would get an audience that she persuaded the novelist Teresa Waugh to find somewhere to publish it. And it fell into my hands.

And I thought, yes, well done you. Let me share this rather poignant poem. That's lovely. I love the golden days and gilded weather yeah i just love that beautiful well thank you charles and thank you to everybody who's listened and for putting up with our rather distinct lack of cricket knowledge um if you love the show please keep following us on apple podcast or spotify amazon music wherever you get your podcast and please do recommend us to friends

because that also means a lot to us most of all though please do get in touch via purple at something else.com something rhymes with purple is a something else production produced by laurence bassett and harriet wells with additional production from chris skinner jen mystery j beal and in the crease with a googly it's oh it's gully i'm putting him in cow corner