Something Rhymes with Purple - Kummerspeck

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

This episode was recorded live at the Ambassadors Theatre in London. Have you ever felt an emotion that you know is universal, but come to realise there’s no word for it? Well Susie & Gyles have you covered in this week’s episode, as we dive into the world of untranslatable words and idioms. You’re in for a treat Purple People! Where else would you find out what ‘grief bacon’ or ‘electric brain’ means and how these phenomenons are so relatable to our own lives. We love hearing from you, find us @SomethingRhymes on Twitter and Facebook, @SomethingRhymesWith on Instagram or you can email us here: [e-mail] Want even more purple, people? Join the Purple Plus Club by clicking the banner in Apple podcasts or head to purpleplusclub.com to listen on other platforms' Don’t forget that you can join us in person at our upcoming tour, tap the link to find tickets: www.somethingrhymeswithpurple.com  Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week:  Fachidiot:  A German term for a one-track specialist who is an expert in his field, but takes a blinkered approach to multi-faceted problems. Akiihi: A Hawaiian word that describes the forgetfulness of someone who has just been given directions and immediately forgets. Attaccabottoni: An Italian  word to describe someone who button-holes you and proceeds to bore you with endless stories. Gyles' poem this week was read out by the actor Neil Titley. Poetry or Prose by Brandon Behan There was a young man named Rollocks, Who worked for Ferrier Pollocks.  As he walked on the Strand,  With his girl by the hand, The tide came up to his knees A Somethin’ Else & Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts     To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail]    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Annex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Hello, Giles here. And knowing that we have a family audience and the purple people often include some very young people, just to say that today's episode does include some language that some people may find uncomfortable or offensive. that some people may find uncomfortable or offensive. Welcome to another episode of Something Rhymes with Purple. This is one of our live shows, and it comes today from the beautiful Ambassadors Theatre in the heart of Covent Garden in the West End of London.

It's an historic theatre. It's been beautifully refurbished since I was last here, which was a while ago. It looks fantastic. It's most famous, I think, this theatre, for being the place where, in the early 1950s, Richard Attenborough opened in The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie, the play that is now the longest-running play in the history of world theatre. And the Mousetrap has moved from this theatre to the St Martin's Theatre next door. And we are here now, and we are so lucky to be here.

I say we, it's me, Giles Brandreth, and Susie Dent. Are you a theatre-goer, Susie Dent? Not enough. I am in the theatre a lot, with our show, with a show of my own, but I don't actually go enough and sit in the audience. Although, in The Wings, we were talking about Mamma Mia, weren't we? The musical. Mamma Mia.

Which is just a stone's throw from here. And, yes, we loved that. You loved it too, didn't you? Well, I went to the, actually the opening, I think it was at the Prince Edward Theatre. Yes, we didn't go together, I should just say. No, no. Well, in my mind's eye, we possibly did. But we didn't go together.

And I went with my family and I was dragged along, I thought, Abba, what's all this about? And loved it. I was blown away. It was completely, you know, sensational. And I've since been to see the Avatars, the ABBA concert. Ah, yes, the Voyager. I haven't seen that yet. Is that what it's called? I think it's called Voyager.

Well, I think maybe you're right, but it was marvellous. It's avatars. It's not them, but you think it is them. And it gave me a brilliant idea. That should be us. We can do it. It costs, apparently, every avatar costs millions to make. But what do you think?

Well, we could be avatars now. We could be avatars. And then it means that because I'm older than you and may not last as long as you, when I'm gone, I don't need to be replaced. No, I Joe Lysett Another of your toy boys You will have hoovering over the chair Which is fantastic Tell us about today's show. Okay, well, we had an episode fairly recently on

emotions, do you remember? And the many, many words for emotions that we have in English that perhaps people just didn't know existed. And one of my favourites, if you remember, is confelicity. Confelicity, that's sharing happiness. It's joy in other people's happiness. So it's the altruistic joy if you're watching children open a present and the delight on their faces and the joy you feel as a result. So it's the kind of near opposite of schadenfreude. So that's a good example.

Schadenfreude is a word I like. Does that link to my favorite Chinese proverb, which is, there is no pleasure so great as watching a good friend fall off the roof. as watching a good friend fall off the roof. That is terrible. And I always, at this point, I always, always tell you about the word... Well, let me test you. It's a word in the historical dictionary

and it means somebody who wishes you success as long as it's not more success than they have, which I think most of us would recognise that emotion. It's a well-woulder. Not a well-wisher, but a well-woulder. A well-woulder. I would wish you success. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about today. We are really focusing on other languages and particularly the way that they can capture, a bit like schadenfreude, an emotion that we just don't seem to have a word for. And very often they are quite culturally specific and they open up a window onto that culture itself.

So we thought we would look at the untranslatables, the words that are so perfect and that we don't yet have a word for. Words that literally cannot be exactly translated. Yes, because they pack so many different nuances. How intriguing. I wonder if one of these new computers, these bot things, would rise to the challenge, if you gave them a word and said, translated into Peruvian. You know the famous story of the computer that did translate things that was given out of sight, out of mind, and translated it into Russian or Japanese,

and then translated it back into English, and it went out as out of sight, out of mind, and came back as invisible lunatic. I love that. That's brilliant. Well, I have to say, I tweeted one of my favourite untranslatables this week, and I got a surprising number of people saying, yes, guilty. And are there any Finns here today?

Finns? Oh, that would be... OK, well, I'm quite glad that there aren't, because they won't criticise my accent, which is about to be terrible. and yes, guilty. And are there any Finns here today? Finns? Oh, that would be. Okay, well, I'm quite glad that there aren't because they won't criticise my accent, which is about to be terrible. But it's a Finnish word, and it's kalsarikinit, I think, or something like this. Do you know what it means? Say the word again.

Kalsarikinit. No. Okay, it means drinking at home alone in your underwear. All in one word. It's just perfect. Isn't it fantastic? And apparently it has slightly been translated now into English with a Swedish twist, which is pence drunk, pants drunk, essentially. But it's not quite as good, I think. Can I say, I think there's a lot of this Nordic stuff,

because it's very dark up there. I don't know how many purple listeners we have in the Nordics and beyond. But I do remember my wife and I, many years ago, had a wonderful holiday in Iceland. We went to Reykjavik. We also went for the day to Greenland. And I do remember being told quite seriously by the tour guide that because it's so dark for so long and there's so little to do, that it's a culture where there are a lot of people who do drink. Drink at home alone in their underwear. Well, we only produce words like this because we need them,

because they fill a gap. When I was in Iceland, there was, on those days, on a Thursday, there was no television. Television was banned on a Thursday. It was a night you stayed in to read. Oh, how lovely. Rather a good idea, isn't it? I think that's excellent.

Fantastic. I do like that one. Okay. So what you're going to give us then are- I'm going to give you lots and lots of my absolute favourites. These are genuine words in a different language that we haven't yet found. We haven't. And sometimes we do have a sort of... something that comes close, or a very neutral definition,

or quite a bland definition, whereas the actual, I think for me, untranslatable, just has so much more colour within it. I'll give you an example. In German, there is a Hanschuh Schneeballwerfer. A Hanschuh? Schneeballwerfer. We must explain that Susie does speak beautiful German, so do not think there's any cultural appropriation or anything improper. No, I'm trying not to. She is not mocking the German accent. No, I think I love German, as you know. And I was born in Germany. I was born in Wuppertal.

Give us the word again. Hand, Schuh, Schnee, Ball, Werfer. If I'd known we were going to do this, I would have brought my lederhosen. LAUGHTER Because I've still got them. Yes, go on. So what does that mean? If you were to translate it kind of neutrally, directly,

it would just be a coward. But essentially, it means someone who wears gloves to throw snowballs. So it's the whole idea of someone being a bit wet. So it means a coward, but it's got so much more within it. I just absolutely love it. I love this game now. It's fantastic. Yes, it's fab. We did cover quite a few of these, as I say, in our emotions episode,

but I'm going to give you a few more, if I may. So there's another lovely one, which I think we will all recognise. So you know, when you're a little bit bored and you're a little bit listless and you're meant to be concentrating on something, but you just keep going to the fridge. You know that one? There is a word in Japanese, again, please forgive my pronunciation, but it's something like kutschi sabishi. And it literally means lonely mouth. Which again, it's just gorgeous. It's so much more than just comfort eating, I think. Yes, you go into the kitchen and open the fridge just to see the light.

And you peer inside. But yeah, I do love that one. Now, do you remember the German word Kummerspeck, which is quite famous now? Yes, Kummerspeck. Kummerspeck. Kummerspeck. What does that mean? Grief bacon. So this is the extra bit of weight that you put on when you're getting over a breakup, for example. Yeah, grief bacon. Do you? Well, unfortunately, I've not been in that position. When I'm writing a book and I spend long hours at the desk and I'm reading the thing on the screen that says,

don't lean forward, sit up, put your feet flat on the floor, that's the one. There's another one that says, every hour, instead of taking the snack, stand up and raise your arms above your head. Because I broke my arm last year and I've got to do this every hour three times. And I find that's as good, funnily enough, as having the snack. OK. Well, there we are.

Shall we get back to the untranslatable? So, shall I give you a few more German ones? Yes, please. And then we'll go into other languages. So, Verschlimmbesserung. Are there any German speakers here today, by the way? There were, but they've left in disgust. They probably have.

Okay, feshlim beserong, which is essentially an attempted improvement that ends up making things worse. Many of us have had those. Oh, can I say, are not the six most ghastly words in the English language, good news, we have improved the app.

Yes. I mean, honestly and we are going mad in our household we can't it's usually accompanied by so if it's a phone company it's usually come like good news we've improved your service your tariff will now go up by such and such we don't get as far as that we're trying to find where's delete where's delete um okay just one more german word for you which again i think is perfect so i often give talks to schools or to companies or whatever and i usually bring along a powerpoint which works perfectly on my computer get to the venue click nothing this is the four field effect demonstration, and it covers so many different things. So it's the thing that once worked perfectly, but when you really need it, it fails you.

Or, for example, maybe we talked about this in the pod before, it's the hacking cough that your child has. Take them to the doctor. The moment they go in, it disappears. The washing machine works imperfectly, it's broken, engineer comes and suddenly it starts again. We've had that with the boiler. The growling, the splurging. Oh my goodness. The great man comes, he stands, presses the button, nothing at all.

It was happening half an hour ago, it's a nightmare. Yes, I know, that's the four-feel effect. I love this one. So, wash about, I don't think, I'm not sure this is quite you, but I'm moving to French now. Ah, I do French? A mouton enragé.

A mouton enragé. A mouton is a sheep. Yes. Enragé means angled. Yes. So that is somebody who normally is very reserved and shy, and suddenly they lose it. A mouton enragé.

Oh. Which is brilliant. I love that. Now, you know about l'esprit d'escalier while we're in France. L'esprit d'escalier? L'esprit d'escalier while we're in France? Esprit d'escalier? L'esprit d'escalier. Staircase wit. You will know this. This is the perfect retort that you come up with

just as you were leaving an event or going down the staircase. Treppenwitz in German. As in, is it Whistler saying something witty and Oscar Wilde says, I wish I'd said that. And Whistler replies, you will, Oscar, you will. Very good. That's excellent. Okay.

And another one that I'm sure we mentioned during lockdown, because it was the perfect word when we came out of it, is the French retrouvaille, which is the joy of reuniting with someone after a long time apart. That's lovely. And it's a refinding is what it translates as. But again, so much more than that. A re-encounter. Yeah, I see what you mean. And do you think we should be inventing English words?

Can that be done? Has that ever happened? Well, I mean, we come up with things like staircase wit or whatever. But if I was to say that to you, I don't think you'd know what I meant. You'd use the French phrase, esprit d'escalier, wouldn't you? Yeah, we'd have to try harder. A lovely one that often comes when I ask people for their untranslatables, and that's the Swedish fika, F-I-K-A, and that is time spent over coffee and cake with someone you love. Oh! It can be a friend, it can be anybody. Isn't that lovely? So, in fact, you send the text simply saying,

Fika? Question mark, to your friend? Well, probably. It could come out wrong with spellcheck. LAUGHTER Oh, that's great. Possibly. somebody saying, Fica? To your friend? Well, probably. It could come out wrong with spellcheck. Oh, that's great. Possibly. And the ones that I have spoken about, which are so specific to a particular culture, so there was a word coined quite recently called umarell in Italian. Umarell. U-M-A-R-E-L-L.

And essentially, it is the elderly men. It was witnessed by someone in Bologna. And he thought, we need to have a word for this, a writer called Daniel Massotti, I think. And it is the elderly men who gather around construction sites and look at the building work and offer endless commentary. And literally spend a whole day there. The Umarell. How interesting. It's great, isn't it? I've not seen this phenomenon, but I can picture it.

Yeah, but again, really culturally very, very specific. And there are so many like that. There's a gorgeous word that I often think of in relation to Ukraine, actually, is sisu, another Finnish word. And that is so much more than resilience. It is essentially, it's almost like a national characteristic for the Finns. It is determination to see something through to the end. And we do have a word for it in English, which has long gone, per-tolerate. To per-tolerate is to see something through to the bitter end. But

sisu is just, it just packs a punch, I think. Per-tolerate, though, is an interesting word. That is a genuine old English word. Yeah, yeah. It's about 400 years old. It's a genuine old English word. Yeah, yeah. It's about 400 years old. Yeah. So I'll just give you one more Finnish one, if I may. Now, this was a joy to discover.

And it is an old measurement. So quite often measurements are very idiosyncratic. I think we... Have we done an episode on old measurements? Perhaps we should. In Finland, there is a measurement of about seven kilometres. Okay, but they express it as podonkousama and poronkousama Translates as reindeer pee Because it is the average distance their native animal can travel without having to stop to urinate

I've reached the age where I need this word. Would you say it again? Poronkousama poronkousama. Yes. It's a Finnish word. It's a Finnish word. Reindeer pee. Fantastic. Yes. In the list that you showed me earlier, there was a Ghanaian word, palinti. Palinti means to move hot food around your mouth with a whole series of actually, that's a very useful word. It's brilliant. Oh, I didn't mean to. Yes. Yes. Or ice cream.

It's the same with the ice cold stuff, isn't it? That. Yeah, polenti. Are you a nice eater? Well, you've seen me eat. I think you are a nice eater. I've tried to be a nice eater. It's very hard to eat when you're being watched, I find.

Oh, yeah. So there's the whole thing. What do you eat? Well, no longer applicable. What do you eat on the first date, for example? What do you eat on the first date? I don't know. Oh, God. So there's a whole thing. What do you eat? Well, no longer applicable. What do you eat on a first date, for example? What do you eat on a first date? I don't know. Oh, God.

Not spaghetti. Do you eat anything? Not spaghetti. Splat, splat, splat. Well, you say yes, indeed. There won't be too much palantit. What was it? Palantit.

Palantit. How lovely to meet you. There are advantages to getting older. The prospect of a first date is just totally alarming. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dearie me. We should play that with our audience. That would be quite good.

I'm going to give you a couple more Italian words. Yeah. So one is sprezzatura. And sprezzatura is, you know how, and I really apologise if I'm stereotyping here, but at least I'm doing it in a positive way. But the Italians just have this kind of wonderful flair to them that seems very insouciant.

It's like very easy, natural charm. They just don't try too hard. And spredzatura in Italian is exactly that. It's a kind of nonchalance, really, about the way you are, the way you've achieved something. But actually, you did work quite hard. So it's the equivalent of me saying to you, oh, I love your jumper, and you say, what, this old thing? And actually, you spent about an hour picking it out that morning. But

it's spread sa tour. So an air of nonchalance where actually behind the scenes, you were working very hard. Are you, in fact, familiar with this jumper? Well, I know what's on the back. On the front, people are listening to this. I'm wearing a jumper. And on the front, it says, I'm a luxury. And on the back it says something else. It says, few can afford on the back. And I know what's coming up because there is a big name that you're about to draw. I am about to draw a big name.

I am about to draw a big name. This jumper that I'm wearing, known as a sweater in America, is the world's best-selling luxury sweater for a reason. This jumper was designed by me and a friend of mine called George Hosler. George Hosler was a wonderful designer. He was also an artist and a potter. And we met up at that time because I was appearing on television wearing colorful knitwear. And I loved his jumpers.

And we got together and designed, created a lot of jumpers. This was one of them. And at that time, he sold some of his jumpers through a little shop in Kensington Church Street. And one day, Diana, Princess of Wales, in the early 1980s, went into the shop and bought this jumper. And she loved wearing it. And indeed, there's a picture of her with her sons, William and Harry, wearing this jumper. And it sort of resurfaced somehow. And I think the jumper may have featured in the crown. And then somebody called Pete Davidson, who I think was a boyfriend of one of the Kardashians, he bought one and it's sort of gone viral. Excellent. So why are you here? You clearly

can afford to just sit at home. I'm here because of your company. I just want to be with you. Is there a word for that? I don't know. What's the word again? This is the problem. I've already forgotten that word of having cake and a conversation with somebody you love. Fika. Yes. I should remember that.

I'm here for the fika. You're here for the fika. Excellent. We shall get some coffee and cake. Are there some phrases and things here that you'd like us to use? Yes. Untranslatables can cover so many different aspects really. So there are lots of foreign words and phrases that just, you know, like grief bacon, kummerspeck,

that just have lovely translations. And we have our own slightly idiosyncratic equivalents. It doesn't mean we don't have a version of it. It's just that when you translate them, they're quite lovely. So I'll give you an example. If you are so insulted by something that you just can't get a word out in response, in French, that is avaler des couleuvres, which means to swallow grass snakes. And explain to me again what that actually means. Avaler is to swallow.

Yes. And couleuvres are grass snakes. Yeah. And what's the meaning? It is to be so kind of, well, we would say in Old English, we would have said blutterbunged, not Old English with a capital O and E, but to be blutterbunged in the 13th century was to be completely overtaken by surprise and to be glopped was to be kind of stupefied and dumbfounded and unable to say a word.

So we do have equivalents, but it's just lovely that it's to swallow grass snakes means that you just can't come out with a reply because you are so shocked. Yeah, exactly. What about sauté du coq à l'âne? Oh, yes. So this is where actually we think the phrase cock and bull comes from. Oh. Yeah.

The sauté du coq à l'âne means to jump from the cock to the donkey. And we're talking about the cockerel here. And it means to keep changing subjects so there's no logic there's no secret is in your conversation you just keep jumping from one thing to another we all know someone like this don't we I think that's probably me sometimes as well is it somebody who just comes out with something and there's no relation to anything that's been said and it's just yeah so that that is what it is but the cock and ball version possibly is because you're

talking nonsense if you're going from one thing to another is the idea but I think it all began with a sort of French fable not an Aesop but a similar French fable which is where it comes from but of course the popular story about cock and ball is that it goes back to two coaching inns in the 17th century and they were in a place called Stoney Stratford. Have you ever been there? No. I haven't either. But there were these two coaching inns quite close to each other and they were quite competitive and they would regularly have competitions with each other that each of them would give the people who were stopping with them to have a bit of light refreshment a really juicy bit of gossip, completely made up. And they would see which was the fastest to get to London

and just sort of, you know, be spread around. And obviously they were all made up, so they were all cock and bull. That's the story, and it's a lovely one, but sadly not true. Any more idioms? Any more phrases? Oh, yes. Sorry, I will move on. OK, so in English we say it's no use crying over spilt milk. In French they might say les carottes sont cuites. The carrots are cooked. Oh, it's too late now. You can't?

Yes. Yes, you can't uncook a carrot when you want it done. Les carottes sont cuites. I love it. That's good. There's quite a famous one in German which is, Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof. I only understand station, train station. And it means I do not understand a thing that the other person is talking about. Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof. I only understand train station.

That's the only word I've picked up from what you've been saying. Yes. That's quite funny. Yeah. So we also have, oh gosh, we've got some Swedish ones here, which I can't begin to, well, shall I give it a go? Give it a go. Don't worry.

We love the Swedish chef in The Muppets. It's quite all right. We did. We did. Susie is quite rightly very sensitive, but don't worry everybody. We're allowed to make well Do we have any Swedes in the audience? Yes, if we do We don't mean vegetables. We mean we mean people from Sweden. No, okay. That's good I'm gonna go for at leader in big and That's good. I'm going to go for at gliede in be en leekmikke. And it refers to somebody who didn't have to work to get to where they are.

So it's a little bit insulting. But literally, it means to slide in on a shrimp sandwich. Oh, that's so good. Which is just perfect. I love that one. OK, this is another interesting one. Which is just perfect. I love that one. OK, this is another interesting one. To do something hastily in Dutch is... Let's met de Franze schlag doen.

Which means doing something with the French whiplash. What? Very dodgy. Say it again. Explain the whole thing again. No, no, you can't let that go. To do something hastily... Let's met de Franze schlag doen. Yeah. Doing something with the French whiplash. I have no idea where that comes from.

Slag is Miss Whiplash, is she? Or Miss Whiplash is... Schlag. Schlag means... Well, in German, schlag means to hit or to strike. It's nothing to do with what you're thinking of. Well, no, no. To be serious for a moment, we're exploring language. The word slag, the derogatory word slag.

Yes. Where does that come from? What is the origin of that? Do you know? I don't think that is Germanic, but this is where I get out the dictionary while you drop another name. No.

I've run out. Having done the President of France and Diana, Princess of Wales, I don't think I can... All right, where can you go from there? It's very true. Okay, slag. I do get to look up the oddest word in the dictionary. Slag. Yes, actually, if people came and looked, if they didn't know who you were, and they see you,

I mean, the sort of obscene words that she's looking up on a daily basis, you'd be arrested. It's very true. Well, maybe the idea is from the slag that you get from smelting metal. Ah, the slag heap. And so it's that kind of refuse. Well, this is something, if you're listening to something around the purple, have you got the answer? I have, yeah. And it's very interesting in English how words swap gender. So they may have been used as an insult towards a man very early on and then swapped.

So harlot, first harlots were men. And we've talked about this before. The very first people to be buxom were men and actually had nothing to do with your figure at all and everything to do with being compliant. It's from the German bigsam, meaning bendable, sort of flexible. And it's the same here. So if you look at, you know I love this book,

Francis Grose's Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Your constant bedside reading. It is. No, it really is. It's the most amazing book. I have the Book of Common Prayer. Don't get me started. Go on.

And it says, Slag, a slack-mettled fellow, one not ready to resent an affront. So someone who is just cowardly, essentially. A handshue Schneeballwerfer. And then, so it was a worthless, insignificant or cowardly, essentially. A hanschuh schneeballwerfer. And then, so it was a worthless, insignificant, or cowardly person. Then in 1827, we find one of the first references to a woman, a person who, or thing which,

is the lowest, worst, or most objectionable. She is a wicked hag of carrion slut, the very slag. And when does that go back to? 1827. Yeah, so that is interesting. But that's quite different from the schlag we're referring to here. Yes. Dutch word, which means...

Dutch word. Well, schlag, yeah, it just sort of strikes, and maybe it does mean, yeah, a whip. But I don't know why having the French whiplash. Give us one more, and then we're going to take a break. Well, I'm going to give you a few really nice examples of how a word, it references another language, it references an object, but if you break it apart, you actually think it's just quite lovely the way that they've come up with the

concept for this word. So in Mandarin, yang nao means electric brain. Do you know what that describes? You? A computer. Oh, how interesting. Electric brain. In German they have Schlagzeug. Schlagzeug? Yeah. It's a drum, a hit thing. Oh. That literally means a hit thing. A drum. I quite like that. In Afrikaans, Spookazem, not sure if I'm pronouncing that correctly, it means ghost breath, but it describes candy floss.

Ghost breath? Yeah. Isn't that lovely? And in Icelandic, they have gæsleppir, goose feet, and it's quotation marks. Oh, that is nice. Yeah, I like that one. Lots, lots more.

I'll give you one more from Burmese, einhjtaun. It translates as house prison. Do you know what that describes? House prison. I don't know. When I came in too late, being caught and left in the spare room. House prison. Similar.

Marriage. Oh! Oh! Oh, that's terrible. It's very mean. That is terrible. It's extremely mean. See you all in 15 minutes.

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Join me, Ben Bailey-Smith, and our brand new psychotherapist, Nimone Metaxas. Hi, Ben. Yes, this season we're going to be putting the likes of Tommy from Peaky Blinders, Cersei from Game of Thrones on the couch to learn why their behaviour creates so much drama.

So make sure you press the follow button to get new episodes as soon as they land on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Shrink the Box is a Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. It's time, Cersei, get your podcasts. Shrink the Box is a Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. It's time, Susie, for your trio. Every week we have three interesting words.

Normally, Susie just introduces us to the words and tells us what the definition is. But we do it slightly differently at these live podcasts. We do. So what we do is we ask our audience for their own invented definitions for these words, often based on the look of the word or the pronunciation or whatever. And I realise I've chosen three foreign words to match our theme today,

but I should probably have given the pronunciation because I think some of these definitions are absolutely brilliant, but they rely on a slightly different sound to the original. So I'll try and imitate the sound that I think you're going for. So the actual word that I've gone for is German, and it's Fachidiot. Fachidiot. Fachidiot. F-A-C-H-I-D-I-O-T. Yes.

Now, I think Tom from rugby thought this was Fatschidiot. Fair enough, because I didn't say it was from German. And that's someone who repairs thatched roofs, but is terrible at their job. Very good. Ellie from Chelmsford, I think, maybe went for fash idiot, possibly, because she said it's a dictator of very low intelligence. And we have Neil Titley from Hampstead.

I'm not sure what sound you're going for here. A misguided dandy. Oh, fash. He's gone for fash. Fash. As in fashionable. A misguided dandy. Oh, fash. He's gone for fash. Fash. As in fashionable. A misguided dandy. Ah, okay. Fash idiot. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Bo Brummel on a bad day. Yes. Got you. Okay. So, it is a fach idiot. And what's the word? And it means someone who knows everything about their field, but is clueless at everything else. Oh, that's good. Yes. Anyway, so you have to choose a winner at the end, by the way. I do. So this next one is Akihi. Akihi. And Emma from London says, when you have to say hello to

someone you really don't like and it hurts even to greet them. Akihi. Ak is a bit like ik, isn't it? Yes, like that. Oh, this is a brilliant one. Dominic from London says, a kihi, a kihi is the noise associated with stepping on Lego. Oh, Lego. That's brilliant. And Matthew from St Albans says, it's a tool used to open a locky. These are so good. A kihi, a locky.

Again? Oh, these are so good. OK, so the real definition is it's Hawaiian. We really need this in our language. It's the forgetfulness you feel immediately after someone's given you instructions. Or directions, even better. So you've stopped, you've asked for directions. By the fifth turn left at whatever, it's out your head.

Very good. So I love that one. The next one, the last one, is from Italian. And I hope this is hard to see. Attacca Bottoni. Attacca Bottoni. Yes, very good. Alison from Rugby says that Attacca Bottoni is the back of the attic

where you put old Halloween decorations, but it's now too dark to look and you're scared. Oh, very good. Attacca Bottoni. Yeah. Jalison, I think, from Harrow says, makers of royal buttons. Attacca Bottoni, I quite like that.

And Gail from Brathing says, that it's Italian weed killer. Attacca Bottoni. Oh, that's very good. Okay. This is actually Italian for someone who buttonholes you and proceeds to bore you with endless stories and you can't get away. So they attack your button.

But that's actually a very useful word. It's so useful. Attack a button. They've got your button. They've got you by the buttons and they won't stop telling that tale. That's hilarious. It's very useful. Okay, so you have to choose one of those. Can you remember them? They won't stop bedding their tail. That's hilarious. It's very useful. Okay.

So you have to choose one of those. Can you remember them? I think it's between. It was in the akihi. The akihi was a tool used to open a locky. Or the noise associated with stepping on Lego. Which do the audience think is the winner of those two? The key.

The key. Okay. Well, that is Matthew from St. Albans. Well done, Matthew. Matthew, okay. Well, that is Matthew from St Albans. Well done, Matthew. Matthew, congratulations. And this is the time that you're going to suppose. Well, we're going to do something we have never done before in more than 200 episodes. We've got this extraordinary audience today

that includes Neil Titley, who is a wonderful actor. He's got one of my favourite voices. And I happen to know he has a great authority on the world of Irish letters. Yes. And so I'm going to throw it to him to see if he's got a tale or a poem that he could share with us,

instead of my poem, as a bit of variation this week. Well, that's very kind of you. Okay, well, basically, it's a story about Brendan Behan, the wonderful Irish playwright. And he was asked to go to Oxford to debate with an Oxford

professor on the subject of prose and poetry. And the professor at Oxford went on for about an hour on the subject. And then Brendan Behan stood up and said, well, I'm going to be very short about this. And I'm going to recite you one poem. There was a young man called Rollux who worked at Jackson and Pollux. One day by the strand with his girl in his hand, the water came up to his ankles. Now, hold on, hold on a second. Now, Brendan turned to the audience and said, now, that is prose. But if the water the tide had been in, that would have been poetry.

Thank you. We can't top that. We're not going to. I haven't got to show. Thank you. We can't top that. We're not going to. We're simply going to thank this wonderful live audience here at the Ambassadors Theatre. We're going to be back here in May, I think, sometime. And then we're going to be going around the country with these live shows. Yeah, Cambridge and Salisbury.

We're going to Salisbury. Yeah, Bristol. Bristol. And we're going to Cambridge. We are. The Arts Theatre. Yeah. You know I put on a production there.

I know. Are there any theatres that you haven't put a production on? Several that I did that are now closed. Anyway, we'll be open for business every Tuesday. We drop a new podcast called Something Rhymes With Purple. Yes. And if you did love the show, please continue to follow us. Wherever you get your podcasts,

please recommend us to friends and family if you think they would like it too. And please, most importantly, email your questions to purple at something else dot com. Something rhymes with purple. Is there something else in Sony Music Entertainment production produced by Nia Deo and

Olivia Cope alongside Sam Hodges and Andrew Quick from Tilted for the live shows. Additional production from Chris Skinner, Ollie Wilson, Hannah Newton, Jen Mistry, and of course, where is he? Well, he's not an attacker, but Tony, because he's just never around. That's gully.