Something Rhymes with Purple - Macushla

Episode Date: January 28, 2020

Wotcha! Hi! Hello! How are you? Good to meet you! And how do you do my lovely bag puddings and flittermice? Welcome to this weeks' purple podcast... For the second of our live shows in front of a wonderful audience of Purple People we're talking about greetings, terms of endearment and, in the second half, affectionate terms for your meat-and-two-veg or your cupid's warehouse... (warning: explicit content!). Plus we take lots of questions from the lovely listeners in the room. A Somethin' Else production Susie's Trio: Slubberdegullian - a slob Rambunctious - boisterous Acnestis - the part of your back you can't reach to scratch If you have a question for Gyles and Susie please email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Normally, Susie Dent and I, I'm Giles Brownruth, we meet in Susie Dent's kitchen or in her sitting room at her home in Oxford, and we get together and we talk about words and language. But we thought last year, when we had hit a million downloads, that we should meet... Yeah, yeah. We should meet some of the people who made that possible. And so we've come to Islington in North London to show how right on we are. We've come to this wonderful assembly hall here and we've got hundreds of purple people here. Yeah. And they're lovely. And indeed, before coming up onto the stage, I met a couple

who came from the city of Chester, where I used to be the Member of Parliament. So I'm here to apologise to them in person. Did you know that one quotation from Giles in the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations is him saying, happiness is the constituency in the rear view mirror. Remember that? Well, the truth is, by the time I lost my seat, it was my second election. By then, of course, I knew that I had contempt for my constituents, but it came as a bit of a shock to the system to find the feeling was entirely mutual. Anyway, here we are. I'm Giles Brandreth. My friend is Susie Dent. We talk about words and

language, and this is only our second live podcast. And I thought we should begin today by talking about how we greet one another, because we're greeting you by saying hello. But I came across a survey. It's about two years old. But the survey showed the phrases that people use when they greet one another in English in the United Kingdom. And these are the top five phrases. Hi, hello, how are you?

Good to meet you. And how do you do? Those are the first, the ones that are most popular. So hi, hello, how are you, good to meet you, and how do you do? What was intriguing is I went down the list and I discovered that the 29th greeting is to say, piss off. I believe that's called a reverse jocularity because it's meant in a friendly way, ah, piss off,

when you're saying hello to people. Did you know that? Not, never have I heard anyone say that. Now, we're here on words and language. Tell me about the origin of hello. What's, where does hello come from? Is it a version of hail ye or where does the word hello come from? There have been so many different versions of hello throughout the centuries.

Hello, hello, hello. I mean, any spelling you would care to mention. And I think it probably is onomatopoeic. It was used as a hunting cry. It's not particularly an abbreviation of anything like goodbye. Goodbye began as God be with ye. And that was shortened to um goodbye simply simple as that but hello doesn't quite work in the same way so that's funny because i assumed hello was hail ye

but it's not no hello hello there okay who's new women oh god let's let's get you into your accents um but yes now actually we get lots of letters admiring your accents. We had one once. And it was very sweet of my sister to write in. But greetings are really odd. Because some of the ones that you think of as being really ancient are modern. And vice versa. Do you remember in the 80s people

used to say watcher remember that yeah that began as what cheer in the 17th century and cheer was a sort of slang term for your face so what cheer was how is your face how is your mood what is your countenance and eventually that became what cheer and then watcher believe it or not and howdy is how do you do as in the cowboys, how do you do that yeah, but that goes back to how do you do, or how do you fare

centuries ago how do you do that's a funny thing to say to people, how do you do I mean, how do you do what how do you do it's a silly way to say do you do? I mean, how do you do what? How are you doing? I mean, how do you do? It's a silly way to say that to people, isn't it? Yes. How do you do?

Ciao, which is maybe a little bit pretentious to say ciao, ciao bella, or whatever, comes from an Italian dialect and schiavo, meaning I am your slave. What? I am your slave. I am your slave. Yes. Ciao. Ciao.

Oh, so that really is quite a… They're going to use that a lot now, aren't we? Oh, ciao. Very good. Yes. Anyway, sorry. Salut, as in salut les copains. That means that's salutations, greetings.

Yes. All those are fairly obvious things like greetings are greetings. Dear, when you say hello to somebody, you begin a letter, dear. Term of endearment, what does dear mean? Where does it come from? It's simply something that's been with us since the Anglo-Saxons. And darling is a deer-ling or is a little deer. Oh, you mean deer as in Bambi?

No, no, no. Deer as in somebody who you cherish. Not as in Bambi, sadly. Deer, as in Bambi, used to mean all animals, just as meat used to mean all food because there was not much need to differentiate in those days so when we talk about one man's meat is another man's poison that meat there means food not meat and eventually we began to distinguish so for quite a long time i'm going way off course here but vegetables vegetables were called green meat. Because when they began to distinguish, it was green meat and animal meat was flesh meat and so on. I just thought I'd throw that in.

No, it's good. People who have not listened to me this year may wonder about these silences. It's because my wife has told me not to interrupt. And my wife has also told me, in fact, you were mentioning the Queen the other day. My wife did. Not to name drop. Which you were about to do, weren't you? My wife did say to me once, at some rather grand do, Giles, I think you should stop calling the Queen darling. I don't think she's liking it. And she then added,

and I don't think the Archbishop of Canterbury is very amused either. True story. Susie, give us some more terms of endearment. Well, they'll give you some historical ones because Valentine's cards, if they existed in the Middle Ages or whatever, would have been really odd.

So you might have found things like be my bag pudding. So bag pudding was somehow used with affection, even though it genuinely was a pudding boiled in a bag. Is this from a medieval Valentine's card? No, it's not. It's from something which sounds like the dullest read in the world, but I promise you is amazing. And it's called the Historical which sounds like the dullest read in the world but i promise you is amazing and it's called the historical thesaurus of english so you look can look up

anything you can look up penis which we will be getting to later um and you will find historical synonyms throughout the ages for the penis or you can look up sweethearts which i did and find these bully was originally a term of endearment you know bully bottom in shakespeare do you remember that yeah why is it a term it was a fine fellow amongst friends and then i think it came to mean eventually a sort of blustering braggart really like it like a bull no it's actually from a dutch bull meaning deer again that's sort of an object of affection but that's how bully started off suck it maybe not go there cabbage no no please go there suck it it's not

suck it it's suck it suck it and um it follows the sweet theme like honey um like a sweet heart like a little lollipop yes cabbage this one's one record of this from 1722, which goes, Ha, my little cabbage sprout. One sweet kiss to make it up and I'll be gone. Yes, Giles. I know I promised not to name drop anymore. Cabbage? You can name drop riffing off cabbage.

Some years ago, I was writing a book about the Queen of the Duke of Edinburgh and I had privileged access to walk with them, talk with them. They went about their official duties. And I was at the Royal Variety Performance, sitting in the Royal Box, next to the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh, and the Duke of Edinburgh saw the word finale on the programme, his spirit soared. And the finale turned out to be an excerpt from The Full Monty.

And the point of the story is he turned to the Queen and said, oh, look, cabbage. He calls her cabbage. The Duke of Edinburgh calls the Queen cabbage. And he said, you see what the finale is? The Full Monty. He was quite excited, bless his heart. He assumed the Full Monty was going to be a tribute

to the field marshal in the Battle of El Alamein. But the point of the story is, I know, because I've heard it, the Duke of Edinburgh calls the Queen cabbage. That's sweet. Well, there you go. It's not so dissimilar to pumpkin, which I might call my kids pumpkin. I think pumpkin's quite sweet. That's quite sweet. Pig's eye.

You could call your cherished girlfriend Pigsney or Pig's Eye. That's a real come on. Nigel and I are going to try that. If you're new to this podcast, Nigel is a member of our audience today. He comes from Clapham. He's pleased to be here. And he and I have got a few things in common. So you can call your sweetheart Pig's Eye.

Ding Ding as well, way before Leslie Phillips' Ding Dong. That was in the 1500s. And a creep mouse, which was another term for an old bat. So you might call, a flitter mouse is a nice one. You might call somebody a creep mouse. So really, really odd ones. I love them. I think they're really, they're sweet. You might call somebody a creep mouse. So really, really odd ones. I love them. I think they're really, they're sweet.

You're going to take some of these. And then you've got rosebirds and honeysuckle and all the sort of duckling and dove and ladybird and all those kind of creatures, which is quite pretty. I've heard somebody call somebody Makushla. Oh, Makushla is beautiful. What does that mean? It's from the Irish for heartbeat.

Oh, that's wonderful. Isn't that gorgeous? You are my makushla. Yeah. I love that. But be my bag pudding? I don't know. Be my bag pudding.

Be my pig's eye. Oh, be my bollocks. Because bollocks is a term of endearment, wasn't it? Well, bollocks has got quite an interesting past. So you mentioned avocado. You know that avocado is from the Aztec for testicles. I do know that. Yeah, because of the shape.

Bollocks. Well, bollocks, if there are any keen gardeners here, they'll know that bollocks pop up everywhere in terms of orchids. Orchids, another word, goes back to the Greek for testicles. I mean, honestly, it's everywhere. But balakwort,wort fools balak um these were all types of orchid and because orchids are beautiful i think possibly that informed the use of going down the pub with your sweet bollocks um a term of endearment for your friends but

actually it was usually your male friends so any blokes here might go down to the pub with their dear bollocks for a pint or two. So, yeah, strange, isn't it? Do you know what I want you to do since you're here? You can make a commitment to this. When you're driving along tomorrow, would you lower the window of your car and call out to the person in the next car, you bag pudding, you, and see how it goes. Bollocks to you, sir.

Oh, I love it. Do you remember me telling you when it it goes bollocks to you sir oh i love it do you remember me telling when it comes to bollocks that uh because we did a whole episode on swearing didn't we and i think as a bollocks is my favorite word um swear word i think use of swearing to relieve stress is lalokesia and i think when i'm really really angry but i can't get too angry in front of other people i will say bollocks because it's just something really satisfying but one of the reasons I love it to remember this is that in 2000 the BBC compiled a list of swear words in order of severity and bollocks was kind of medium mid-table um but the reason I loved it is because they put it in this just supremely

accurate anatomically speaking, position of above prick, no, under prick and above arsehole. Which I thought was brilliant. I was going to say, before we have a break, since we've got these lovely people here, we've asked them for questions. We have. Have you got one before we take our break?

Well, one that just is have you noticed that it's apparently wine stains on this uh so this is this is a disgrace frankly this is from peter who i don't know what you've been doing this with this pizza but it's actually quite appropriate question what is your favorite piece um no he's not actually. What is his surname? Stafford Bow. Oh. And he's from Kensal Green, which he calls Paradise. And he asks me, what is my favourite wine-related word?

We've been talking about testicles, etc. I think favourite wine-relating word, two of them, actually. One is to be piflicated, which is to be drunk and talk piffle. And you can put that a different way. To testiculate is particularly when drunk, wave your hands around and talk bollocks. Ah, that's brilliant. Those are my favorite ones.

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and start to wonder, is the Great Pacific Garbage Patch real? How do the Northern Lights happen? Why is weed not legal yet? I'm Jonathan Van Ness. And every week on Getting Curious, I sit down for a gorgeous conversation with a brilliant expert to learn all about

something that makes me curious. Join me every Wednesday as we set off on a stunning journey of curiosity on a new subject, and dive into the archive of more than 370 episodes. Listen to Getting Curious wherever you get your podcasts. Now, Joss, are you a theist? A theist? Listen to Getting Curious wherever you get your podcasts. and I have to have it made in a particular way, as you know. It's the tea bag in, boiling water on top,

a touch of milk and the bag stays in the mug. Yes, I have noticed. Bag always in and you only drink half a cup. I do. Unless that's my tea. I usually drink the top half. Okay, you're so fussy. Well, I can add another caveat to your order now.

Milk, no sugar, tea bag in, half only drunk. But it can also now be served in your very own Something Rhymes with Purple mug. Yay, they have arrived. They have. They're beautiful, genuinely beautiful. Perfect, we hope, for those of you who like to listen to the podcast Curled Up with a Brew. And a really good gift, again, we hope, for any word nerds in your life. Indeed, or for anyone in your life. Actually, they are beautiful. They're handsome. Indeed, or for anyone in your life. Actually, they are beautiful.

They're handsome. Lovely, deep, deep purple in colour. And they've got our logo on the front in a very classy font, I must say. And hold on. Oh, on the inside, the word gonguzel. Well, that's amusing. As you lift it to your lips, the word gonguzel appears.

Remind me, what does that mean? Well, the answer lies at the bottom of the mug, Giles. You have to drink your tea, remove your tea bag, et cetera. Drink to the very bottom and you'll find out. I love it. You drink down and the word's definition is revealed. Sorry. Oh, it's hot.

It's not a slurper as well. Dear, dear, dear. I want to get one to give to my long-suffering wife. She wonders why I've moved in with you. I say it's a podcast. That's a funny euphemism. How do I get hold of one of these? The mugs are available now from purple.backstreetmerch.com. Purple.backstreetmerch.com.

Okay, and not to be crude, how much are we talking? £15. Ideal. Purple.backstreetmerch.com £15. Right, now, what does gonguzle mean? This is the Something Rhymes with Purple podcast. I'm Giles Bradworth.

With me is my friend Susie Dent. We're talking about words, language, as we always do. We're getting a little bit blue in this part because we've been talking about terms of endearment, and I have long wanted to ask about the origin of the word willy. Where's willy? A phrase often heard in our household, unfortunately. Where's willy? Willy as a term of endearment or a nickname for the penis.

What is the origin of that? Well, strangely, we decided quite a few centuries ago to choose generic names to riff upon for all sorts of things so jack famously jack of all trades lumberjack steeple jack etc robin likewise for the bird also hobgoblin the hob is a nickname for robin and so on and so on and willie for some strange reason was just chosen a bit like johnson um for the penis john thomas isn't it as well john thomas i do remember because uh when i was a child in 1960 i was quite a little boy a lady chattel is lover novel by d.h longs which had been banned in this country was published by

penguin books did you buy a copy straight away i i was at a boarding school and I sent off for a copy. And it arrived in a brown wrapper, but unfortunately on the wrapper it said Penguin Books. And so the housemaster opened it first. I'm really dreading where this is going with John Thomas. No, no, no, he read it and then gave it to me. And I... That's when I first discovered the word john thomas and

it took me a long while to work out what it was all about so that's when i first discovered john thomas give me some more give me the ones you know well this is where i mentioned the historical thesaurus it's absolutely brilliant because you put in as i say penis or whatever and you get all these things this is what i'd spend my time doing and coming up on the train i had this open which is full of slang terms for testicles and the penis um so here are some of them twiddle diddles nuts jelly bags aunt polly's tally wags swingers ghoulies everyone knows that cream crackers whirly gigs gingma bobs who gingma bobs don't rush it some people trying to write this down only nigel uh um okay so for penises i mean i don't know where to start because there are so many mr peasby

i was gonna say spit it out, but say it carefully because we don't want to miss any of this. Let's relish it since we're doing it. What was it? Mr. Peasby. It's just so bizarre. It's interesting. You're a couple of middle-aged people

giggling like schoolchildren. The silent flute. What? The silent truth or the silent fruit? Flute. The silent fruit. Flute. Flute.

Oh, the silent flute. Oh, yes, that's famous. Because that occurs in Shakespeare. Hamlet says, play me on your piccolo. I will, yes, no, he does. No, this is, no. This is, some of you know that many years ago when I was young, I played Hamlet not successfully.

The audience didn't like it. No, no, word got out. They came prepared. Yeah, they threw, no, they threw eggs at me. Truly. Went on as Hamlet, came off as Omelette. But more seriously, a couple of years ago, I took part in a proper production of Hamlet, not far from here in Finsbury Park at the Barclay Theatre. My son played Hamlet. We had a marvelous

director called Simon Evans and David Aller, they were the directors. And when we got to this, it's a speech that hamlet makes play makes to ophelia and he's sort of taunting her and there is definitely a pun about playing on my piccolo so that's an old one there you go yeah these are really baffling these ones um enchilada um show me your enchilada shaft of delight you call that an enchilada? Sorry. I'm just trying to get them into sort of current usage. Candy cane. There's another one for the testicles here. As good as ever twanged.

I was going to say that's a bit of a mouthful. Maybe not. I know it. Yes. Keep going. Okay. The judge. The big chief.

His lordship, the commissioner, et cetera. The hulk. The hulk. Cyclops. So you've got a long list. Pecker, schmuck, schlong, todger, wick. And, of course, as well as these words that have been used over the years, people do create their own words,

either for their own private parts or for the private parts of friends, neighbors, husbands, partners. So this is the moment for you, wherever you're listening to this, to mouth to yourself the name of the closest penis that you know of and the little nickname you don't normally say out loud

this is an equal opportunities podcast give us some of the uh nicknames slang words for the female private parts okay um well these again throughout history um a fountain of love A Fountain of Love, Cupid's Warehouse, Love's Cabinet. These are all the sentimental ones. Garden of Delight. Then there's some really derogatory ones, which I'm not going to go there. Well, this is sort of slightly clever ones, depending on where you stand on this one. Cockpit is in there. Yes.

Then there's some very strange ones. The Bat Cave. The Duck Pond. This is from Spencer's Fairy Queen, The Bower of Bliss. The Bower of Bliss. And then the ones where you just think, huh? There's Mrs. Fub's Parlor.

And Buckinger's Boot. Good. The list I've been given includes Minnie, Muff, Fanny, Doodah, and one from my youth, Front Bottom. Oh, yes. Yes, Fanny's another strange one, because Fanny then was just chosen as a random name.

And Pussy is quite interesting as well, because Pussy was also a term of endearment. And can you believe we're having this conversation? But it's also got that kind of slightly spiteful. I mean, basically words in English describing women tend to start off quite innocently and then go downhill. So that they come to denote women who are promiscuous above all, or just objects of male desire. So it's all pretty depressing so hussy actually started off as a hooseweef a housewife the hooseweef bit went one way the housewife and the hoose the hussy went another so those housewives who were you know after a bit of

fun uh were called hussies and so much so many times find that. The first harlots were men, but then it was transferred over to women because women were usually the promiscuous ones, etc. So they've always got this edge, and it's quite depressing, I have to say, as a lexicographer to see that sting. Okay, conclude this section by telling us the origin of the word vagina, since we brought that up.

What is the origin of that word? It comes from a word meaning sheath. So it was originally a scabbard or a sheath and it's a sibling of vanilla because the vanilla pod is kind of slightly vagina shaped and so the vanilla also means a sheath so when you eat a vanilla pod you're eating a little sheath or a vanilla ice cream or describe someone as vanilla you're actually referring to vaginas. There you are. The joy of this podcast is you feel that you live and learn. Then, of course, you die and forget it all.

We've got lots of questions from people here. Share some of those questions. Tell us who's asked them and what they've asked. We do. And if there is anyone in the room called John Thomasomas this is the moment we want to hear from you to discover how your life has been um okay so this is from doug glenn who's from canada but 15 plus years in london hello doug you asked you said we've discussed American English in the past have we come across any compelling examples of Canadian English a is the one I always think of well I just I quite like the fact that Canadian English is sometimes uses words that I now

associate with slightly old-fashioned English but that I love like knapsack you still talk about knapsacks do you remember knapsacks you still talk about knapsacks do you remember knapsacks let's take a knapsack to school now they're just backpacks aren't they but knapsack I really like does our Canadian friend know any Canadian words what words are exclusively Canadian um I don't know if they're exclusively Canadian but if I think about my time in Canada growing up toque is a word that is very familiar to me. It describes a knit hat. Oh, yes.

Tight-fitting hat you'd wear in the winter. That's T-U-Q-U-E, isn't it? T-O-Q-U-E. T-O-Q-U-E, yeah. There's two spellings, actually. Another one, politically, riding is a word used to refer to constituencies. All right, so we have that in Yorkshire as well,

the ridings of Yorkshire. And that comes from when the constituency was split into three, so it was Trithing, so three parts, and then Trithing became Mangled to Riding over time, but it just meant the third part. And the other Canadians in the room might recognise, especially if you grew up in Ontario, buying beer in certain quantities, you'd order two, four

bottles of beer. Yeah. A toque, I seem to remember, was a hat worn by Queen Mary. Oh, really? A toque. Did you say toque? Toque, yeah. We say toque.

But don't worry. Harry listens to this and is learning a lot. It's going to be good for the future. I see, yeah, I guess unsurprisingly, I see Canadian English as being more British than American English. But as we said on the podcast, I love American English. I think it's beautiful, but also, you know, so much of it started over here anyway.

Thank you for that, Doug. And I'm sorry, you told us more than we told you on that one. Ed? Is it Ed Uder have I pronounced this correctly most people in the UK say Uden but apparently in Holland they say Uden Uden so okay you ask which word or words do we attribute to our interest in lexicography I do remember learning quite early on the origin of stealing someone's thunder and being amazed that it began as a really literal thing,

a bit like Licking Into Shape and Swan Song that we mentioned in the previous podcast. And stealing someone's thunder started in, I think it was 1709, and it was the Drury Lane Theatre in London here. And there was a playwright

manager called John Dennis and to cut a long story short he put on the play that was his own and it wasn't very good and it closed after a short run he went along to support the next one it was a production of Macbeth and for his show he very little had very little going for it apart from one thing which was he'd invented a machine that replicated the sound of thunder and when he went along to the next production he was enjoying it but then from the stage he heard booming out the sound of his very own thunder machine and we have records from people in the audience who said he stood up and said damn them they will not let my play run, but they steal my thunder. And that's where that comes from.

And I remember thinking, you know, you couldn't really make that up. I love that. Giles, do you remember yours? Yes. I do remember discovering the word strengths and being completely fascinated that it was the longest word with only one vowel. S-T-R-E-N-G-T-H. It's nine letters long. I can see why you love Scrabble.

Only one vowel. And because I lived in London as a child, to do my revision, I used to go round on the circle line, the tube line. In those days, it was a circle. You'd go round and round and round. And I remember going through Knightsbridge and loving going through Knightsbridge because it's the longest that has consecutive consonants in it

G H T S B R and that gave me a kind of erotic charge every time I went through Knightsbridge so it's funny things I think it's it's look of words, the fun of words that got me going. Definitely got you going. This is from Paul Stevenson in West Sussex. Paul, you say you were asked recently by a colleague how you were coping with a foot injury and you replied by saying you were walking gingerly. What is the origin of ginger?

Well, ginger the spice is from sanskrit but it's got nothing to do with that this adverb gingerly goes back to the latin genitus which meant well-born which gave us gentle as well as in gentlemen and that sense went on to be genteel and gentle went on to mean delicate or dainty and so when you walk in a gingerly fashion you are taking slightly mincing I guess or delicate and dainty steps that was the idea for that okay Deborah from Chelmsford hi Deborahorah's waving um an american lady that you met had heard the word bimble on her travels and you haven't even heard it before um bimble it means to kind of a bit like obambulate which we were talking about on our last podcast which means to wander about so i think to bimble is to kind of mooch i think and it's simply a variant on bumble which i think is just an onomatopoeic pootling tootling all that

sort of thing so i think that's where bimble comes from but it's a lovely word bimbling about they use it in devon to bimble before you give us the last answer i must chip in last week we talked about discombobulate or whether people love and somebody as i was leaving said can you have combobulate without discombobulate? No, you can't, because discombobulated is also kind of invented. It's a riff on discomforted. But you can be gruntled, kempt, roost, wieldy, pecunious, and full of gorm.

Thank you. Kate Jones from Wandsworth. Why do we call urine wee and feces poo? It's a lovely one on which to end. I think it's simply because they were imitating children's language like mum and dad

simply imitating the babble that comes out of the baby's mouth. Because in England we call it wee wee but in France they call it pee pee. It's quite confusing isn't it? Caca. Yes. They were born for their sound. in France they call it pipi. It's quite confusing, isn't it? And then they have caca. Yes, they were born for their sound. Okay, let's raise the tone now. Give us your trio of words for this week.

This is Susie's trio, three intriguing words that we may not be familiar with, but we ought to be. Well, I just love the sound of this one, speaking of sounds, and it's a slubber de gullion. A what? A slubber de gullion. A slubber de gullion. Basically somebody who A slobber de gullion. Slobber de gullion. Basically somebody who's a bit down at heel, a bit scruffy, probably wearing their Hufflepuffs.

Remember the Hufflepuffs, which are the clothes that you shuffle into on a Friday evening and don't get out of until Monday morning. So a slobber de gullion is just basically a slob, but it sounds so much better. Rambunctious. You'll know this one. It's just because I love it. It sounds beautiful. it's fun to spell and it looks great on the page boisterous so children can be rambunctious or different difficult to control I just thought I'd bring that one because I love the sound of that one and this is an unusual one but it's one of those ones where you think, yeah, we really did need a word for that. It's a linguistic gap. It's acnestis, A-C-N-E-S-T-I-S. It comes from the Greek for the spine or a cheese grater,

depending where you want to go with that one. But it's the part of the back between the shoulder blades and the loins which you can't reach to scratch. Oh. You have to get someone else to do it for you. Oh, my goodness. What's the word again? Acnestis.

Lovely. Those are your three words. Thank you very much for those. My quotation, you mentioned my wife, and I was thinking about these quotations. My quotation this week is the famous last words of someone, and I was tempted to give you the last words of Dominique Bonneur, who was a Jesuit priest

and a grammarian his famous last words this is apparently true were I am about to or I am going to die either expression is used and permissible but I want to give you the true last words of the American film star and actor who was a big star when I was a boy, John Wayne. And I read them in a paper years ago just after he died, and I wrote them down, and I've always found them rather touching. John Wayne's last words spoken to his wife. Of course I know who you are. You're my girl.

I love you and that's our lot from this edition this live edition of Something Rhymes with Purple it's a Something Else production produced by Lawrence Bassett with additional production from Grace

Laker, Chris Skinner, Steve Ackerman and Gully. So it's not just thanks to them but also genuinely thank you to all of you who came out tonight. You have been completely marvellous. That's enough testiculation from me. So you have the last word.

Whatever it is, have the last word. The last word? Yeah, it could be bollocks but yes my sweet bollocks thank you so much for coming out tonight I appreciate it Thank you.