Something Rhymes with Purple - Marchioness

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Oh the Grand Old Duke of York, he had ten-thousand men… but was his son a Marquis or a Marquess? To find out, join us under the marquee as Gyles and Susie climb the etymological pecking order this week, giving lovers of Downtown Abbey a look at why a Butler serving breakfast might be cause for concern. Gyles has a hoity toity anecdote, and Susie demands justice for the hussy and the villain. But if an Earl can be churlish, can a Churl be... earlish? We want to hear from you! If you are a Bootboy with a bone to pick, a Beefeater with a bad reputation or generally have a bugbear about our understanding of aristocracy, write in and let us know: [e-mail] A Somethin’ Else production. Susie’s Trio: Pinchfart - A Miser, a person who hoards wealth and spends as little money as possible. Bafflegab - incomprehensible or pretentious verbiage, especially bureaucratic jargon, that confuses more than it clarifies. Kvelling - bursting with pride or satisfaction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Something else. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Something Rhymes with Purple, the podcast about words and language listened to by lots and lots of wonderful purple people. It's presented by me, Susie Dent, with Giles Branderis, and occasionally punctuated by the sound of my doorbell going with various items that are being delivered.

And unfortunately, Giles, I do not have someone to answer the door for me. I don't have a butler or anyone working for me of any description. Now, Nick Hewer, who works on Countdown, the show that I appear on, regularly says that he summons his tea in the morning from Catherine, his partner, with a bell, which we tease him about mercilessly. And I think he's firmly tongue in cheek, but there is a slight element of upstairs, downstairs in the tales that he tells. I'm hoping you don't have any such thing. No, I don't have any such thing. I bring the tea to my wife. I am the in-house butler.

Not that I think the butler was ever the person who took the tea in the morning. The valet, probably. It's called, believe it or not, taking that tea in in the morning. Okay. No, and we'll come on to the valet, which is correctly pronounced valet in my view. But who would bring in the tea in the morning? Well, if we regard the Queen of the United Kingdom as the sort of top of the aristocratic tree here, she has a morning tray brought into her every morning. That, I think, probably would be brought in possibly by a page

who would be a male person. I don't know, but butler goes back to bouteille in French, which is a bottle. So they were almost the bottle bearer, the cup bearer, really. So you would expect the butler to bring your cuppa. Although, actually, they were originally in charge of the wine cellar, and I'm not for a moment suggesting that the Queen would have a tipple in her cup in the morning. Well, look, since we've started on this, let's go on with this. Let's make this our upstairs, downstairs episode. Let's explore the whole world of, well, what goes on in grand country houses, in stately homes, because the news is just out that there's going to be a second Downton Abbey film.

People all over the world have reveled in the series Downton Abbey, created by Julian Fellows. As you know, I love to name drop, and I do drop Julian Fellows' name quite regularly because I've been lucky enough to know him since we were both about two or three years of age. We used to live one on top of the other. My parents lived in the basement flat. His parents lived on the floor above. And as a little boy, I used to take baths with him. Indeed, there's a photograph of me in the bath with Julian Ferris. He's the only Oscar winner with whom I have taken a bath.

The ones with whom I've taken a shower is for another day, in another episode. But so I've known him a long while, and I admire him hugely. And he's a very nice guy. And he created Downton Abbey on the back of a huge success when he wrote the script for the film Gosford Park. And Downton Abbey has been a television series that has sold worldwide. There was a movie and there's now to be a second Downton Abbey movie. And I'm thrilled that the great Dame Maggie Smith is going to be reprising her role as the dowager in the film. So, if you like the world of Upstairs, Downstairs, which is the name of another television series that started many years ago, I think in the 1960s or 70s, by two distinguished actresses,

Jean Marsh and Eileen Atkins. Now, Dame Eileen Atkins revived. Did Jean Marsh appear in it? Yes, she did. She played, I think, one of the maids. And in the revival, Eileen Atkins appeared in it. Eileen Atkins didn't want to be in the original series because she didn't feel she wanted to be in that kind of a TV show. But it was a very successful TV show.

Did you have any of those that were favourites for you? Did you watch Downton Abbey? Did you watch Upstairs? Downton Abbey, I love. I've not seen the film yet, actually. You've just reminded me. That's going to be a treat. I was really lucky enough, because it's not too far from me,

to go to Highclere Castle, where it's set. This is very unusual for me to do a name drop thing, but it was Des O'Connor got married there. It's so beautiful just walking around the grounds there. You just feel, I mean, to live in a house like that. I remember Brideshead revisited as well. That too, do you remember Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews? I do.

I absolutely loved that. Now that is, is that Howarth? Castle Howard is where they filmed Brideshead Revisited. Also beautiful. And Highclere Castle, which is where they film Downton Abbey, is owned by the Earl and Countess of Carnarvon. And they're now relatively young people. The old Earl of Carnarvon was really probably the Queen's best friend outside of her

own family. He was her racing trainer. It's curious, in the aristocracy, I'm saying this really for people who are international, the children have a subsidiary title to the parents. So if you're the Earl of Carnarvon, your son will have a lesser title, will be a Viscount. And so the Earl of Carnarvon's son was called Lord Porchester. But now the present Lord Porchester has become the Earl of Carnarvon. The old Earl of Carnarvon was known as Porchy. So these are fascinating places. Brideshead, I loved the original series. Yeah, they've all got this sort of wonderful sort of fascination and mystery and just, you know, every time I go to Blenheim Palace, which again, is not too far from me, I just look up and just think, I cannot possibly conceive of living. I mean, I know it's, you know, for all that people

are really suffering at the moment and, you know, I know distribution of wealth is at the top of a lot of people's lists. There is something so wonderfully entrancing about these houses. Let's explore upstairs and downstairs now. I will, before you tell me, and I want you to tell me the origins of all these words, if you possibly can, let's start with the upstairs and the aristocracy. And I'm going to play a game with you now. If the top of the tree is a royal duke, as in, for example, the Duke of Edinburgh or the Duke of Cambridge, they're royal dukes. Below them would be a duke. Wife is called a duchess. What do you get below the duke in the pecking order? Don't look it up. This is a quiz. No, I'm not looking it up. I'm actually checking the etymology of duke it's from the latin ducks uh leader so it's from

ducere to lead i have absolutely no idea i'm terrible at this kind of stuff because i just don't i don't live in this world so you tell me i won't know the answer to anything well under the duke you get a marquis and that can be spelled one of two ways m-a-r-qQ-U-E-S-S or M-A-R-Q-U-I-S. And I always never know which way to spell it. And this is a problem for me because I write a great deal about Oscar Wilde. And Oscar Wilde's principal boyfriend was the son of the Marquess of Queensbury. And I can never remember whether it's Marquess with an I-S at the end or an E-double-S. But anyway, the rank is below that of a duke, a Marquess. What's the origin of that? So that's got quite, it's not related to a marquee. It's quite

complicated, this. So it goes ultimately, and I'm tracing it all the way back, it's related to the idea of a mark, you know, the sort of the indication of something. So I suppose it would be a mark of nobility. Mark of distinction. In its simplest terms, yeah. But you say it's not related to the word marquee as in a kind of tent in which you, when it's raining, you have your party in the marquee.

It's not the same origin at all. Oh, actually, maybe it is. I think I've got this wrong. It is. It is related to that, to do with the Marquis. And it's a large tent used for... So maybe, gosh, that's fascinating. I never knew this. Maybe they were originally sort of very grand, huge tents or pavilions used for social and aristocratic functions. I love the fact, incidentally, that pavilion goes back to the Latin papilio, meaning a butterfly, because if you look at the awning of a pavilion, it looks like the wings of an insect are sort of spread out, which I just

love. So we start with Anglo-Saxon society, I guess, you had the churl and they had the earl. The earl was a man of noble rank. And there was the thane as well, which was a man who was granted land by the king. So I think it simply goes back to an old English word that came over from, you know, Germanic invaders. Good. Well, you know that a duke, if he's married, what is his wife called? Duchess. And if a marquis is married, what is his wife called? Marquise.

Marchioness. A marchioness. Indeed, in French, she might well be called a marquise, but a marchioness. And an earl, if he's married, what is his wife called? A countess. Isn't that interesting if he's married, what is his wife called? A Countess. Isn't that interesting? What's the origin of Count? Well, it's interesting because it's linked to Constable. And a Constable was once, in fact, somebody when we get to the duties downstairs, if you like the downstairs element of a noble house, a Constable was the Count of the stable. So it was somebody who was originally in charge of the noble family's horses,

long before it got then transferred over to anything to do with the police. Knowing that may help you get down to the next rank below Earl. Duke, Marquess, Earl were descending the steps of the aristocracy. Who do we meet next? The Viscount. And that's spelled V-I-S-C-O-U-N-T. It's obviously related to Count. What would the V-I-S be doing? Yes. That's interesting because I think the V-I-S there is what we would call vice and the Latin V-I-C-E meant in place of. So vice president is somebody who is acting in place of the full president. Absolutely. And the son of an earl is called a viscount as well. Then we get down to almost near mortals, the baron. A baron comes next.

That's a lord. And they used to be able to sit in the House of Lords in England. That's all been changed now. Most of the members of the House of Lords are appointed. They still have a few hereditary barons, but it was something that you inherited from your father or nearest male relative above you. And then we get down to a baronet, which is obviously like a mini baron. A little baron.

A little baron. And they are called sir. It's like a knighthood. It's a hereditary knighthood. That's preposterous. It may be preposterous. People do find it fascinating. Otherwise, upstairs, downstairs, Gosford Park, the Crown, you rang my lord, which was a comedy

version of all this, wouldn't have been so successful. People are gripped by it. Take us below stairs and take us through the ranks of the staff there and give us the origins of all these words. You began with the name Butler. Tell me all about the Butler. Yes. So Butler was the cup bearer. So it is from the Latin buta, meaning a cask. Then buta in French is a bottle. So as I say, they were in charge. They were a bit like the sommelier. They were in charge of the wine cellars. And from there became the cup bearers. and then it broadened in meaning essentially you've got the cook haven't you the head of the kitchen staff that simply goes back

to the latin quaker and then you've got the housekeeper always important especially in these dramas that we've been talking about so they are responsible for the entire appearance of the house the upkeep and the female servants and i always always love the way, well, I don't love it actually. I just am fascinated by the way that English takes some strange terms. Did you remember I told you that a housewife in Anglo-Saxon society, a husu weef, because the weef meant a woman, not necessarily a wife, that was an incredibly important job. Just as the Lord and the lady, even though it was all to do with dough, the keeper of the dough as the lord and the lady, even though it was all to do with dough, the keeper of the dough was the lord and the lady meant the kneader of the dough.

That was still seen as an important task. The housewife was the person, the woman in charge of the house. But because, of course, some women were thought to have looser morals than others, the huswief went two ways. It became housewife, but also became hussy. Anyway, so you've got the housekeeper, you've got the constable, who I mentioned, the constable was the officer in charge of the stable. And one of the earliest surviving uses of the English word was actually as the title of the governor or the warden of certain royal castles, perhaps like Castle Haworth. And then the police sense didn't kick in until the 19th century. You've got the valet. Now it's interesting you say, I think you're right, it probably is valet. So the valet,

is that what you do to your car when you have it cleaned? Well, I suppose it is. How Green Was My Valet was a famous Welsh novel. I think valet, as in the servant, is pronounced with a T, rather like you say Paris. It's become an English word and we say valet. So I think that would be the correct pronunciation of it. But obviously it's based on the French word valet, isn't it? Well, it is, yes, but it's related to vassal. And rich men who could afford to employ a valet to look after their clothes essentially had to be careful that he wasn't also a valet. Now, do you remember the word valet?

That was an old term for a really unprincipled man, but the words are essentially the same. So again, an example, lighthouse, wife and hussy, which went two ways. And villain is another one. A villain was somebody originally in feudal society who was in charge of the villa or the house, but because they were seen as poor peasants, inevitably some kind of bad reputation became attached to them. So the villain in charge of the villa became somebody who was up to no good. So it's very damning the way that we used to view these people and the sort of reputations that we attached to them. So you've got the French valet, attendant, and valet, the counterpart. They're related to the vassal. And that goes back to the vassalus in Latin, a retainer, essentially. But the first valets in the 15th century were footmen, weren't they, who acted as attendants, usually on a

horseman, I think. So I'm not sure they were always then associated with the clothes. Am I right in thinking it is pretty much clothes and appearances now? Oh, yes, totally. Totally. But people curiously, up until quite recently, do you remember, in fact, he used to appear on Countdown, a lovely man called Derek Nimmo. Derek Nimmo had no pretensions himself. He didn't pretend to have come from anything. He came from Liverpool. I think his parents may even have been in service. Anyway, but he was thrilled to have this personal footman who travelled everywhere with him. I remember did a television series with him and the personal footman turned up with wine in a sort of silver goblet for Derek and he drove Derek's Rolls Royce around and he wore a proper footman's uniform. And that was relatively recently.

At Buckingham Palace, they still have footmen and they have pages. What's the origin of a page? Page, not completely sure, but we think it might be linked to Pede, P-A-E-D of Latin. So first of all, it goes back to Roman times. And paedion really, I guess, in the Greek was the source in Latin of paed, which you'll find in paediatrics, which is the medical care of children, pedagogue as well, a child leader, who in ancient Greece was the slave who took the child to school. So we think that those are all linked and that's how you got the idea of a page boy. So the first page was actually a youth and quite often actually a youth of uncouth manners. So

somebody who needed to be educated. But that idea, I think, of youth then translated into the page that you will find in these aristocratic houses. I mentioned the chauffeur. That's a word that's come into general use, the chauffeur. In the household, the chauffeur looks after the car. Is it to do with heatingoker. That was a chauffeur, as you say, from the French to heat. And then you've got the companion and the lady in waiting, haven't you? So that's an attendant upon the lady of the house. We've touched on companion, I think, the other day. A companion was somebody originally with whom you ate your bread. So it was literally somebody with whom you did the sort of the most basic things in life. Very good. Incidentally, the Duke of Devonshire, he's known as Stoker. Don't know why.

Ah. But anyway, that's what he calls himself. I don't know if that's actually his first name. Look, let's take a quick break for staff tea. We're allowing staff to have a little tea, and then we'll carry on in our world of upstairs, downstairs. I'm hoping you're going to prepare some cucumber sandwiches. I love the way you say cucumber sandwiches. Well, I'm trying to enter into the spirit of our upstairs, downstairs program. I'll just go for any food, please.

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And watch full video episodes on Crunchyroll or the Crunchyroll YouTube channel. We're doing an upstairs-downstairs episode, talking about the people who live upstairs and the people who live downstairs in grand stately homes. Sometimes people ask me why I speak the way I do. And I think because I speak the way I do, people think that I know about this world of upstairs. I don't. I speak the way I do because when I was a small boy, I went to a school where my best friend was an actor called Simon Goodell, who became famous for appearing in a TV series, Heidi High. Heidi High created by David Croft,

who also created a series called You Rang, My Lord, which was a comedy version of Upstairs, Downstairs. Anyway, Simon Goodell, my best friend at school, had a father who was a theatrical agent whose principal client, whose most famous client, was a great actor called Sir Donald Sinden. Now, Susie, do you remember Donald Sinden? I do. What a voice. What a voice. What a fruity performer. And when I was a boy, he took a nice interest in me because he knew I hoped to be an actor and thought he would help me with my elocution. And I tried to sound like him. So I sound like this because I, aged 12, 13, 14, wanted to sound like Donald Sinden.

Wow, it's worked very well. And he explained to me that when it comes to diction, it's vowels that give you volume, but it's consonants that give you clarity. Vowels for volume. That's right. I remember you saying that in our very first podcast. And I may, did I treat you to his exercise that I do every morning? Yes. As a further reprise, because I've been thinking about this, because I've just published a book called the Oxford Book of Theatrical Anecdotes, which is full of old

theatre stories, many of them inspired by or told to me by Donaldson. And this was his exercise. And this is to remind you, it's vowels for volume, consonants for clarity. Hip, bath, hip, bath, lavatory, lavatory, b-day, b-day, douche. So if you repeat that every morning. How could we ever forget? You can't forget it. I think this is the moment where I thought, what am I doing? Hip, bath, hip, bath, lavatory, lavatory, bide, bide, douche. So that's, if you want to sound

like me, and apparently not many people do, that's the way to do it. Can I tell you about a few more downstairs jobs? That's what we want. Okay. Have you ever wondered about the scullery? Possibly not. But the scullery simply goes back to the Latin scutella, which was a salva. So it was a platter originally, because a scullery, possibly not, but the scullery simply goes back to the Latin scutella, which was a salver. So it was a platter originally, because a scullery is a bit of the household, which is concerned with kitchen stuff, isn't it? Kitchen utensils and that kind of thing. You also had a kitchener who was in charge of the kitchen in a monastery. In fact, some of the old

titles are quite strange. So you had a squiller, who was the person who worked in this gallery quite often. You had a ewerer, E-W-E-R-E-R, which came from the Latin aqua, via a very strange root, I think. And the ewerer provided guests at a table with water with which to wash their hands. As in a ewer? Yes, as in a ewer, exactly. You had the panter who supplied the bread for the pantry because that's where pantry comes from, pain in French.

You had the cellarer in charge of the celery. You had the beer that came from the buttery. It had nothing to do with butter originally because that was where the butts were kept, the big casks of beer, which bring us right back to the butler. You had the trencherman. I think the trencherman was the person who helped you cut your food if you needed them to. And you had the yeoman

of the buttery and that kind of thing. So the yeoman was the intermediate grade servant. That title would then be attached to yeoman of the buttery, yeoman of the pantry, yeoman of the revels, which I love. And I think that's the title we should bring back immediately. The yeoman of the revels which i love and i think that's the title we should bring back immediately the yeoman of the revels was somebody who was in charge of the entertainment isn't that great and of course they do have the yeoman of the guard don't you the beef eaters the yeoman of the guard all these turns of phrase and all these titles very much feature in the plays of shakespeare particularly in twelfth night malvolio is there as olivia steward. And there's a reference, I think, to the yeoman of the buttery in that play. And though some of these words seem old and antiquated and the roles are, if you're interested in, as it were, the evolution of language, and if you love Shakespeare,

it's quite useful to know them. It is. And I mentioned that the yeoman of the guard are more popularly known as the beef eaters. That was originally an insult because they were known to have the rich portions of beef fed to them to keep them kind of strong and valiant. But I wrote quite recently actually an article about beef and its associations in English because it's quite extraordinary how, you know, it was the emblem of the British, les russes beef as the French call this, and it was held up as the epitome of Britishness. So the person who ate the beef or provided the beef actually was seen as having an incredibly important role

in these early upstairs, downstairs time. Gripping stuff, Susie. Thank you very much indeed. If people want to know anything about the aristocracy, don't ask me, but do keep watching The Crown. I have a friend who's been watching the crown who has actually published a little book on inaccuracies in the crown i can't watch it anymore because if you know about these things it irritates you linguistic ones like anachronisms

no just sort of details that aren't quite right you know it doesn't matter because it's a soap opera isn't it it's a fun glossy soap opera, loosely based in reality. Look, people have been in touch, do get in touch, point us in the right direction, put us right in where we misunderstood the way the aristocracy worked and what goes on upstairs and downstairs. If you are a boot boy and you don't like it, let us know as well. Well, we do have some lovely questions in. We had a great one from Victoria Hooton, who thanks us for the podcast. Thank you very much, Victoria. And she says, I have so many burning etymology queries. I will keep sending them in. So she thought she would just pick two that begin with the letter of her surname.

Hubbub was one of them. And she wonders where hubbub comes from. And actually, this is quite interesting because we think it began as a battle cry, but we think it's really ancient. It goes all the way back to an Arabic saying, which was a bab or something similar, which actually makes it then, etymologically speaking, a sibling of Soho. Because Soho, not in the New York Soho, but London Soho, was thought to adjoin old hunting grounds. And Soho was an old hunting cry. So not quite battle, but an old kind of exclamation that was cried out. So that's hubbub. I like this. And she also mentions hoity-toity. Now, do you remember me talking last time I was talking about gym jams and how it was what we call the reduplicated compound.

jams and how it was what we call the reduplicated compound. And quite often, one of the elements of these, like shilly-shally, willy-nilly, helter-skelter, et cetera, one of them makes sense and the other one is just added on for effect. And with Jim Jams, neither seem to have any meaning. But with hoity-toity, we think it goes back to an old word, hoit, which meant to indulge in riotous mirth, which I love. So hoity-toity originally began meaning lively and playful, not haughty or snobbish. So that took a really strange turn, but hoity-toity quite linked to our theme this week. Very good. Hoity-toity and the hubbub is great. A quickie here, Christine Edgar writes in something of a panic, love the podcast, love the show, but I just can't remember the word which describes the sun reflecting on the water. Now we know the sun on the back is apricity, but that's the warmth of sunshine on the back. What is sun reflecting on the water? Can we help her out?

Yeah, it's beautiful, this one. I think in English it's something like sun glitter. It's a sort of sea sparkle. But I think what she's thinking of is the Turkish word that I mentioned. I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but yakamoz, Y-A-K-A-M-O-Z. And it translates as sea sparkle. And it's the glittering of moonlight, particularly upon the surface of the ocean, but it can be the sun as well. Beautiful. Very nice. Chris Robinson has been in touch. This is specifically for you, Susie. I would welcome your input on the etymology and various uses of the word trunk, T-R-U-N-K. It's the body of a tree, the body excluding arms and legs. It's a large chest for clothes. It's the boot of a car in America, of course. Why do we use boot? We can come on to that. It's the nose of an elephant. It's a main road. It's a long distance phone call.

Maybe that's an abbreviation of truncated. The point is, it's led to all these other words. What Chris is wanting to know, this is one of our loyal listeners. Thank you very much, Chris, is why it's done so well it has done so well um so it all begins with the latin truncus t-r-u-n-c-u-s which is the main stem of a tree and fittingly it's branched out in all sorts of different directions because that meaning of a tree's main stem if you like gave us the sense of the human body, our trunk, and lots of other senses which have this idea of a central connection, such as a trunk road. But the chest

or box meaning arose, and you mentioned the American version of our British boot, because early trunks were made out of tree trunks. So they were made out of that sort of stem of a tree. And then the circular shape of a tree trunk gave us another branch referring to cylindrical hollow objects, including the elephant's trunk, which is quite amazing. And then in the 16th and early 17th centuries, we had something called trunk hoes, which were these kind of breeches that extended to the upper thighs and they were worn over tights and that kind of thing. And these became known as trunks and theatre actors wore these short light breeches over tights and they called them trunks as well, which is why we talk about swimming trunks. So, so many fantastic...

And is that why theatre people put their stuff in a theatrical trunk? Was it a trunk? Was the thing in which you kept your trunks? Yeah, probably. But also going back to that idea of the original chests or boxes were made out of tree trunks. So they were wooden and made out of that sense of the word. So it's amazing, isn't it? How far it's come. You're right. I love that. Why do we use boot instead of trunk for the bit of the car at the back? Yeah, I think it's because something to do with stepping up to get to the boot. But also it was originally sort of on the side. It wasn't the back of a car for storage.

It was originally on the side of a carriage. And you would place your boot there to avoid getting the inside of it dirty. That's my best memory of that. The trunk in American English, as so often, was a bit more obvious, really. A bit more easy to decode. Well, now give us your three words to decode this week. New, interesting words. Oh, outro said first.

Thank you very much for being in touch with us. If you want to communicate, if you want Susie to answer your queries, do get in touch. It's purple at somethingelse.com, something without a G. Susie, have you got your trio of words for us this week? Three words that we may not know, but we would love to. Yes, I'm going to refer back to something that I tweeted quite recently, actually. It's just farts, as we've often said, have appeared and featured quite regularly in the dictionary. So you have the catch fart, if you remember, and that links to upstairs, downstairs, because a catch fart was a valet who followed too closely behind their master or mistress. So they were in the firing line of quite a lot. That was a catch

fart. And it was then applied to anyone who was so obsequious, so a bit of a windsock, really. They were just, you know, blow as the wind, sorry to keep the wind metaphor going, but blow with the wind. And a pinch fart, you will also find in the OED, a pinch fart was somebody who was a miser, somebody who basically held on to their own goods, as it were, to the detriment of others. I'm not sure the detriment of others really works with the fart metaphor, but anyway. So I like that. Pinch fart is a miser. Very, very old word, that one. Then another one that I tweeted, which I really like, because I think we can all relate to this, not just jargon, but it can be political speech. It

can be anything you read on a set of instructions. And that's baffle gab. Baffle gab goes back to 1930s America. And baffle gab is defined as incomprehensible or meaningless verbiage that confuses more than it clarifies. So I think we all know that. Thank you. And I'm going to finish with, let's go for a cheery one. I was going to go with something else, but I'll save that one. A cheery one is the Yiddish. Yiddish vocabulary is just absolutely wonderful. Kvelling, kvelling, and that's K-V-E-L-L-I-N-G. And that's gushing or overflowing with pride over someone's achievement.

So you, Giles, if you were talking to your grandchild and they'd just come up with the perfect limerick, you would kvell with pride. So I love that word, kvelling, from the brilliant Yiddish. I love all those words. I fear I may have the gift of the baffle gab. Never mind. I've got a little poem to share with you. It wasn't one chosen by my grandchildren this week. I'll keep that for next time. Because we've been in the world of the aristocracy, I've got a couple of poems, actually. One is this one. It's a ruthless rhyme.

There's been an accident, they said. Your husband's cut in half. He's dead. Indeed, said Lady Brown. Well, if you please send me the half that's got my keys. And Hila Belloc wrote a whole series of cautionary verses about members of the aristocracy. One I remember learning as a child was about Lord Lundy. Lord Lundy, from his earliest years, was far too freely moved to tears. I won't give you the whole poem because it's long, but it's funny and clever.

This is a short one that will, I hope, amuse you. It's only four lines long. It's about somebody called Lord Finchley. Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light. It struck him dead and serve him right.

It is the business of the wealthy man to give employment to the artisan that's excellent uh very very good um well thank you so much for listening to something rhymes with purple it is a something else production we'd love to hear from you as you can tell we read everything even if we can't get to all of them. Purple at somethingelse.com. Something Else production produced by Lawrence Bassett, with help from Harriet Wells, Steve Ackerman, Ellum Cloud, Jay Beale, and Mr. Invisible himself, Gulliver. Yeah, no pinch fart he.