Something Rhymes with Purple - Penne For Your thoughts

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Little Strings, Little Tongues and Butterflies… what could Gyles and Susie pasta-bly be talking about?! In this episode we’ll be lobbing a bunch of pasta terms at the wall to see what sticks. We start by delving into ancient myths and legends to unearth pasta’s beginnings, Susie takes us on a trip to a brothel to serve up one of the most delicious spaghetti dishes of today, and Gyles shares his favourite pasta dish which comes with a little bit of apricity much to his delight. A Somethin’ Else production This week we want YOUR terms for ‘the feeling of disappointment when you go to have a sip of coffee only to find out it’s all gone’ (even though you were SURE there was some left)… get creative and let us know: [e-mail] Susie’s Trio: Paraph - The flourish on a signature Paralipsis - Drawing attention to something when pretending not to Elozable - amenable to flattery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up y'all it's your man Mark Strong Strizzy and your girl Jem the Jem of all Jems and we're hosting Olympic FOMO your essential recap podcast of the 2024 Olympic Games in 20 minutes or less every day we'll be going behind the scenes for all the wins

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With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Something else. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Hello and a warm welcome to another episode of Something Rhymes with Purple. I'm Giles Brandreth. I love words, I love language, and I love my colleague Susie Dent. She's Britain's leading lexicographer. I'd say she's the world's leading lexicographer. But given that Something Rhymes with Purple is listened to internationally, I don't want people down there in Tasmania thinking, no, I'm the best, I'm the best,

thinking they're not as good as Susie Dent. But I'd be surprised if they were. How are you, Susie? I'm extremely well, thank you very much. I have to say I'm slightly in need of a cup of coffee. It's been quite a busy week what have you been up to just lots of countdown filming this week so we're lucky enough to still be in studio at the moment even though obviously the world is not looking great around us itv are being amazing and keeping as safe as possible i've been doing that and writing a little bit you know i mean you know what it's like jars you never stop i do know what it's like. And I've been working for Channel 4 as well. The Countdown programme that Susie mentioned is a words and numbers game that's been running on Channel 4 since the channel began about 40 years ago. And it's hugely popular. I wasn't on it then, just to say.

And she was, it was before she was born. But sadly, I was on it because it was quite a way after I was born. it goes strong this channel and the program is brilliant and I've been doing a program for channel four about canals which is currently going out on Sunday nights and I travel along canals with my friend Sheila Hancock and so maybe actually we ought to do an episode about water The water, the world of canals and rivers. Yes, those beautiful words associated with that. Is this the one where everyone celebrated the arrival of slow TV? Is it slow TV or canal things

where you actually simply watch? And obviously, as well as you and Sheila, you just watch a barge move very slowly. That is the idea. I think we may have made it a bit too dynamic. That certainly is what people have loved with it for the first 12 series. It's been done so far by a brilliant couple

called Timothy West and Prunella Scales. They're a husband and wife. They're both actors of great distinction. And they've done it now for 12 years. They've hung up their windlass, which is something that if you're into the world of canals, you'll know what it is. And you can tell us what it is when we know our brew on it. And they've handed over to us. We couldn't replace them because they are irreplaceable.

We're just different. But yes, it's an extraordinary experience because Sheila Hancock is soon to be 88. I'm in my early 70s. And we just have never done anything like this before. We've never been on a canal. And it's really a fascinating experience. It's exhilarating at times, calming too. It is supposed to be slow TV.

But unfortunately- Are you living on the boat? We're living on the boat. And unfortunately, my navigation is not what it should be. So it's not quite as smooth. I mean, on the first day, I crashed into a bridge twice. So the insurance premiums have gone up. But it's quite fun. So I hope people will enjoy that. So that's what we've been doing this past week. And are you cooking? Just to lead us on to today's theme. Are you cooking and providing for everybody, the crew? Or how does it work? We are the crew. It's just us.

It's just two people. It's just Sheila and me. So the camera is just on the barge looking at you slowly drifting into a bridge? Because of social distancing, the camera is on another barge next alongside us or on the riverbank. Or there is something called a GoPro,

a permanently fixed camera that just records everything. And then they do an edited version of it. Not only am I cooking, but I have broadened my repertoire. As well as doing my signature dish, baked beans on toast, I am providing Sheila with pasta. And that's what I wanted to talk about today. Yes. Okay.

Great Italian pasta, because it's interesting to me how it's infected the language. I remember Mussolini, Mussolini, the dictator, the Italian dictator, saying, give me a balcony and I can take Rome. I know that Giuseppe Garibaldi, when he liberated Naples in 1860, declared, it will be macaroni, I swear to you, that will unite Italy. Now, we have mentioned Garibaldi before, as well as being an Italian leader. He's also a biscuit. And we've mentioned macaroni, as in Yankee Doodle Dandy. Yes. So we might as well start with macaroni. And pasta, what's the history of pasta? How has it affected our language? Explore all this for us. Well, it's just everywhere now,

isn't it, pasta? I can't remember as I was growing up ever really having pasta very much. I might have had a sort of lasagna. So I was tempted to think that actually this is quite a new phenomenon for us. But in fact, the history is extraordinary. It's widely associated with Italy, obviously, but apparently the Chinese were making a noodle type food as early as 3000 BC, which is quite extraordinary. And then some credit Marco Polo with introducing pasta to Italy after he'd been to the Far East, credit Marco Polo was introducing pasta to Italy after he'd been to the Far East, so that would preserve the Chinese connection. But in Greek mythology, it's believed that Vulcan, the god that gave us volcano, invented a device that made strings of dough. So that might be the earliest

mention of a pasta making machine. Is pasta basically the word paste? Is that what pasta means? That's absolutely right. Yeah, that's where it comes from. And that underlies so many different words. So it will ultimately take you back to pastry, to pate, to patisserie, to pasty. Oh my goodness, there's so many. So yes, it's all the idea of a paste. And ultimately, it goes back to the Greek for barley porridge, and their word also for sprinkling. So maybe sprinkling or salting their porridge. So really long history linguistically as well. Well, there are lots of fun facts about pasta. I believe pasta used to be kneaded with the feet. Traditional pasta was made that way. If pasta is cooked properly, apparently it should stick to a wall when it's thrown.

That's the spaghetti trick. That definitely works, I have to say. Kids love that. Really? It's traditionally eaten by hand. Did you know that? Do you tell your children that? No, but my youngest definitely does enjoy eating spaghetti by hand. I try not to frown at that point. Two main groups of pasta, fresh pasta and dried pasta. Yes, you knew that. That's true. And as a student, I always, always used to make the mistake of putting fresh pasta in and cooking it for as long as I would cook dried pasta. And the result was an unholy mess. Fresh pasta only needs a couple of minutes, usually.

Let's get down to some specific names of types of pasta. Thomas Jefferson, third president of the United States of America, credited with bringing the first macaroni machine to America in 1789 when he returned home after serving as ambassador to France. Macaroni, it's a kind of pasta, yes? Macaroni is a kind of pasta. I kind of feel like macaroni cheese. I don't really feel like I'm eating pasta, but of course you are. But they're tiny, aren't they? They are traditionally, I think, in older generations cupboards, the type of pasta that you would normally find would be macaroni. And that goes back to the Italian for dumpling. So again, linguistically, it's not really got a very strong connection with the pasta that we would think of today. If you were to go into a restaurant, are you quite fussy about

which pasta shape you have? Because I love spaghetti. For me, it's the ultimate comfort food. Spaghetti means little strings, which is exactly what they look like. That's the Italian for little strings. Is the getty bit the little bit? Yes's the diminutive and the spa is what this bag i guess is the i don't actually speak italian as you will probably know but yes that's the stringy bit and the hetty etty is the it's like et in french so cigarette for me cigar pasta is spaghetti i love spaghetti i like it quite a thin spaghetti and i like actually a very simple spaghetti with cheese olive oil that'll do for me to be honest maybe a little tomato sauce i don't need it to be made over complicated homemade pesto i'm not so sure about pesto oh what jarred pesto i'm not so sure

about either but if you make it yourself with fresh basil and pine nuts and cheese, parmesan or the vegetarian equivalent, it's so good. It comes from the Italian pestare, meaning to pound or crush. So that's linked to the pestle and mortar. Oh, that's good. With which you might crush your basil. And also the idea of pesto pasta is quite fun. I'll have a little pesto pasta, please. When I was asked ages ago, one of the very first interviews I did,

they asked me for my favourite smells in the entire world. One of them was the smell of freshly mown grass, which a lot of people I know would say, and the other was fresh basil. There is nothing like the smell of fresh basil to conjure up the Tuscan countryside sunshine. It's just gorgeous. I always felt that. And then I read, was it Tobias Smollett, whose favourite smell was to take his chamber pot and with a wooden spoon stir it. No. And he just loved the smell. I know, it's slightly shocking, but I'm throwing it in.

It has a literary heritage. I think it was Smollett. People can correct us if I've got that wrong. That sounds like a James Joyce type thing. Well, I think it was Smollett earlier than James Joyce. So 18th century, yeah, 18th century English writer, Tobias Smollett. Yes, let's get back to pasta. Yeah, let's get back to pasta.

But that's interesting. If I've got that wrong, do let us know. Purple at somethingelse.com. Spaghetti. Have you ever had spaghetti puttanesca? No. Spaghetti puttanesca is absolutely gorgeous as well. So this is a sauce with garlic, black olives.

I'm not a huge anchovy fan, but you can put anchovies in there as well and tomatoes. And it goes back to the Italian puttana, meaning prostitute. So it's linked to the French putain. And the sauce is said to have been created by prostitutes because it could be cooked very quickly between clients' visits. Spaghetti puttanesca. And it's interesting that there's so much of that kind of thing behind English words like fornicate. One theory is that it goes back to the Latin fornix, meaning oven. And it said that prostitutes would gather at night by the ovens in ancient Rome in order to keep warm. And then, of course, that became linked to their trade and you know and fornication but

that that's one theory i mean it's it's not completely you know set in stone but yes it's the idea of an arch and the ovens were often arched and vaulted chambers and then later that became associated with brothels so there you go just thought i'd throw that one in but i think that's completely gripping this is why i I love this programme. I learn things. Fornication, it never occurred to me that it would be to do with ovens in brothels and the poor prostitutes keeping themselves warm before they had their,

what was it again that pasta was called? Puttanesca. Puttanesca. Puttanesca. Puta being prostitute, as in puta. Yes, exactly. Very good. Give me some other ones.

What about, I'll tell you what I do like. I like linguine. Yes. Oh, that's a nice one. Linguine means little tongues. So it's linked to linguist, language, all sorts. Tagliatelle? Tagliatelle means little strips.

So tagliare in Italian is to cut. So it almost looks like you're cutting ribbons, doesn't it? And in fact, that's what fettuccine means. Fettuccine means little ribbons as well, which is quite cool. Farfalle, which is a favourite here as well. Farfalle, they look like little bow ties, don't they? But actually they are originally butterfly shaped. It goes back to the Italian for butterflies, farfalle.

Ah, what about fusilli? Fusilli. Those are the ones that look, they're slightly corkscrew shaped and it goes back, we think, to the Italian fuso, meaning spindle. So little spindles is the idea there. Penne, which I think is probably the most popular pasta, isn't it? Penne goes back to penne meaning feather. So little feathers, I think it is. And actually that then is related to the pen that we use to write things because, you know, of course they had quills.

And also if you're penne, you have feathers, et cetera. So yeah, penne meant quill originally or feather. And penne is with two Ns. Penne is with two Ns. So not like the pens that we write with. Gnocchi is with two ends. Penne is with two ends so not like the pens that we write with. Gnocchi is a nice one. Do you like gnocchi? I discovered those when I don't like gnocchi. Is that the one that's got it isn't really pasta it's a made of a different sort of potato. Yeah they're made from potato often or semolina so they are more dumplings and those go

back because if you think of their shape it goes back to the Italian nocchio without the G, meaning a knot in wood. So, you know, you get those sort of walls, W-H-O-R-L-S, in wood. Gnocchis are sort of slightly shaped like that, the knots that you would find in a grain of wood. Ravioli. Ravioli. Ravioli. I love ravioli. So no one seems to know, but possibly from an Italian dialect word meaning cheap stuff, perhaps because they were cheap to make. Or it might go back to wrapper, a vegetable root. So no one seems to quite know that one.

There's another one, ravioliere, to wrap. So who knows? Lots of possible origins for that one, but I do love ravioli parcels. What would be your ideal meal in the world? Of pasta or generally? Well, generally. And I think mine might actually involve pasta. Oh, really? I love a good veggie lasagna, I have to say. We're talking pasta and I know you're veggie too. Mine would probably be a really good veggie curry, I think. Yeah, that would be my, I love pulses and I love lentils and things. And in fact, you can sometimes combine the two.

So I went somewhere once where they did spaghetti with chickpeas, which I never would have thought of putting together at all, but it's absolutely delicious. What about you? Well, I had a wonderful meal once. I've had lots of wonderful meals i've been very blessed but i remember going to verona and being on a hill outside verona at an outdoor restaurant beautiful sunshine apricity that sunshine on your back that warm feeling sunshine and simply a bowl of spaghetti with lots of olive oil and some sort of leaves sprinkled on top and cheese and

couldn't have been simpler but the whole setting was absolutely perfect and how lovely i go through food phases i've just discovered near me a georgian restaurant not a restaurant founded in the 18th century but food from georgia tbilisi And it's fantastic. And these amazing people that opened this restaurant a month or so ago in the middle of this pandemic, they've opened it and it's working. People are going there to eat. Isn't that fantastic? I'm so thrilled for them. Food is terribly, terribly important. Has it infected our language overall, food? Does food play a part in the development of language? Absolutely huge. I mean, it's fundamental. So do you remember me talking about meat and how meat actually meant all food originally? And then

as people needed to differentiate between different types of food, they started to talk about vegetables as green meat, for example, or sweet things as sweet meat. And we still have that in one man's meat is another man's poison. It in one man's meat is another man's poison. It's one man's food is another man's poison. So that's there. We've got lord and lady revolving around the person that kept the bread and the person that needed the bread. A companion has got pannis bread at its heart. It's someone with whom you ate your bread, a mate with somebody with whom you ate your meat. I mean, it's absolutely fundamental to, as you would expect, you know, it is the bread of life, isn't it? It's how we earn our bread, et cetera, et cetera.

It's everything. It is everything. I remember when I was at university, like you, I was at Oxford University, one of my tutors was a great man called Theodore Zeldin. And I remember him explaining to me that history always seems to be about guns and cannons. But in fact, more important as implements in the story of the world than guns and cannons have been the knife and fork. Yes.

It's an interesting thought, that, isn't it? Yes. And the spork. Yes, do you remember the spork? That just popped into my head. Oh, the spork was a spoon that combined, had a fork and a spoon element to it. I never got on with that.

Though I must say, when I go to a Chinese restaurant, I do want a chopstick to eat with. Do you? I've not quite mastered the chopsticks. There's no special pasta implement, is there? And I have to say, to my shame, and apologies to Purple listeners, aficionados of pasta,

I did used to break my spaghetti oh sorry that's my door let me just go and get my door why don't we take a commercial break now we're gonna take a break this shows i'm gonna say hi to lloyd this is made in real time because uh suzy is doing it from her home in oxford i'm doing it from mine in london and there's been a knock at the door, which means it's time to take a break. Hi, I'm Jesse Tyler Ferguson, host of the podcast Dinners on Me. I take some of my favorite people out to dinner, including, yes, my Modern Family co-stars, like Ed O'Neill, who had limited prospects outside of acting.

The only thing that I had that I could have done was organize crime. And Sofia Vergara, my very glamorous stepmom. Well, I didn't want to be comfortable. Or Julie Bowen, who had very special talents. I used to be the crier. Or my TV daughter, Aubrey Anderson-Emmons, who did her fair share of child stunts. They made me do it over and over and over. You can listen to Dinners on Me wherever you get your podcasts.

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And what about when you get really lazy journalism? So like people that draw just one line, they take it out of context. And that's really sad because... It is, it is. And I've also been on the receiving end of it so many times. Sometimes to really tragic levels for me where I've really not felt able to cope with it. Yeah. Zoe Sugg and Nadia Hussain.

I think the thing with women, firstly, is that women sometimes don't always like to see other women succeed. I think that's right. Yeah, and I think there's a lot of that. And I think that's why just it's really hard sometimes because in the last four years, I've changed so much. Listen now in Apple Podcasts, Spotify and all good podcast apps. Pastor Perfect, I'm quite peckish now, aren't you? Oh, I'm starving. I have to say, I haven't even had breakfast yet. I might have to go straight for the lunch.

Go straight for the lunch. Actually, if you miss out one meal a day, if you've got plenty to do, that works. Two meals a day probably is enough. Some people say you should be nibbling all the time. I just don't know what to do, that works. Two meals a day probably is enough. Some people say you should be nibbling all the time. I just don't know what to do. Just be sensible. I know. Well, as you know, I struggle to keep weight on, so I need to just basically keep eating.

But pasta is really good for that and also lots of olive oil and things. Yes, and I think athletes eat a lot of pasta. Carbs. I'm a friend of Sebastian Coe, who used to run very fast, still runs pretty fast, faster than me anyway. And he was a great devotee of pasta. It gives you suddenly sort of instant, makes you run. It's good the night before a marathon. I know that when I did my long, long, long cycle, lots of pasta the night before.

And actually, we've had a lovely question on the topic of food and drink. You know, we've been discussing tea and biscuits and thermopots, lovers of hot drinks. Tim Wilson from New Zealand has been in touch. And he says, I wonder if you can help me. Is there a word for the disappointment felt for when you go to have another sip of coffee and it's all gone, but you were sure there was some left? And do you remember me talking about a great book written by Ben Schott called Schottenfreude, where he found lots of linguistic gaps in English and then got a German translator to make up a German word to fill the gap. I think this is one of them but he created a word and I wish I could remember it in German

for the sense of gnawing sort of disappointment that you have only half eaten a snack, say it's a chocolate biscuit, and you know you've not finished it, but you can't find the rest of it. Have you ever had that? I have that sort of sense that, okay, I know there's a bit of chocolate left here somewhere, but I cannot find it because I know I've not finished it. That's very similar. So should we ask the purple people to come up with an idea for this one? We would very much like it. It's a word to express the disappointment you feel when you go to have another sip of coffee and it's all gone, but you were sure there was some left. Yes, not just coffee, I think. I think it applies to chocolate and all sorts. All sorts of things that disappear. Frustratingly, it's not a snack accident.

I still remember when I was a child, i used to like chocolate cupcakes that you could buy at a tea shop called lions and they came in silver foil and the chocolate at the top was quite hard and you peeled away the silver the side without actually breaking any of the crenellations and i would then nibble around this and i would eat the chocolate slowly going round and round and round leaving and i'd eat the chocolate slowly going round and round and round leaving and I'd eat the cake bit underneath leaving the last bit of chocolate icing as my favourite bit and I still remember the day I'd got this little chocolate thing on the plate and my one of my sisters came in and she saw it picked it up popped it in her mouth and here I am oh 60 and more years later still brooding about this no yeah you still obviously

remember incredibly vividly yeah I do I do it was a painful moment well these are the things that happen okay ollie ollie oxen free Ethan Reynolds has been in charge it's probably Ethan isn't it anyway Ethan comes from Los Angeles in California say hi to Megan and Harry when you catch them in the street doing their shopping. Hey, Susie and Childs. I'm a new listener and I love the show. I love the recent bit on playground words, especially the various safe words

during games of tag. Growing up in suburban LA, the word was always Ollie, Ollie, oxen free. I'm unsure of the proper spelling. And to this day, it confuses the daylights out of me. I'd figured it was just random syllables strung together by some long forgotten kid, and the phrase stuck for some reason. But your chat on the show got me wondering if there was

a legitimate origin or reason for it. Is this something you've heard of before? I'd love to know more. Well, Ethan, Susie Dent is the person to come to. Olly olly, oxen free. I love this. This is as elusive as the phainites one that I mentioned, which is spoken up and down Britain and a lot of older generations remember saying phainites. You and I said packs, I think. I used to say packs anyway. Olly olly, oxen free is such a lovely one to investigate this. I can't unfortunately provide a definitive answer, but there are lots of theories one is that it's a corruption of all ye all ye outs in free everyone's still out and about you can come home now it's safe possible German origin now I like this one but it does sound unlikely but I like it of course

because it's German but that is alle alle oxsen sind frei or all the oxen are free but quite what that means why you would be an ox in a game of tag I'm not completely sure but apparently it's been referenced in lots of songs and in a film of the same name with Katharine Hepburn which I don't know and I love Katharine Hepburn

did you ever meet her? No That would have been one for the bucket list, wouldn't it? That would have been wonderful. How wonderful to have met Katharine Hepburn. Yeah. So it's obviously not just, you know, limited to sort of a few pockets of children, you know,

and not just America by the sounds of it, although obviously Katharine Hepburn was out there. So who knows? But I love the fact that there is a film starring Katharine Hepburn called Olly Olly Oxenfree. 1978, it was a family adventure film, apparently. And it's all about Katharine Hepburn, who's slightly eccentric, and she owns an antique store and refuses to part with her merchandise because it's of sentimental value. So it's obviously all linked up to that sort of sentiment of childhood. But that's a great question. I love that question. I wish I had

a better answer for you. If people want to do homework between episodes of Something Rhymes with Purple and want to explore themselves, what for you would be the two, give me two and maybe make it international, the two big works of reference you would recommend they go to? And are they available online? Or do people still go to libraries and find books there? One would be, I imagine, the Oxford English Dictionary. Yes, the Oxford English Dictionary. Now, sometimes they do have offers on for individual subscription. But if you can't get that, I know it's not very easy to get to libraries at the moment. So it's probably not a great time to suggest this. But most libraries and academic institutions do have a free subscription to the OED.

Is that the way to get it now? Because I've got upstairs, given to me many, many years ago by Dr. Robert Birchfield when he was editor of the OED, sort of 16 volumes of it plus some supplements. But now, of course, it's being the language we're discovering more every day. And therefore, I imagine it's being kept up to date online. So should people, in fact, have a physical dictionary or should they subscribe to a dictionary? How does it work? Yeah, it's a really tough one, this, because most people do love the feel of a book. And as do I, if I'm reading it. But I have to say, I now have the Oxford English Dictionary online in front of me most of the time and at my desk, if not all the time.

And is that available? People could buy that, can't they? It's expensive, but they could buy it. It is expensive. You can get an individual subscription. But as I say, you know, if you can get to a library or ask your library if you can get access, even remotely,

that's a really good way of doing it. Oxford Dictionaries online are also pretty good. That's a free dictionary. Merriam-Webster has got great etymologies. And that's the big American. That's the American equivalent of the OEDs. Yeah, and that's free as well. But yes, on Countdown Now, Giles, I use, as you know,

I use a laptop rather than a printed dictionary. And a lot of people are quite perturbed by this. But actually, I'm simply looking at the same dictionary I would have been looking at in printed form, except it is more up to date because print versions of dictionaries are much less in demand these days. And consequently, they're updated much less frequently. It tends to be quarterly updates for the Oxford dictionaries. And they always make a big splash when the new words go into the OED because once a word goes in there, it never comes out.

So they're much more scrupulous as to what can be put in the OED. Wow. Speaking of libraries, Jeff Holt has been in touch. He's emailed us, first of all, with a joke. A man is in court for vandalising a library book. Apparently, he'd borrowed a copy of War and Peace and tip-exed out all the full stops. The judge said to him,

we're looking at a very long sentence here. Oh, very good. I like very good i like that then a question is there a connection between the grammatical meaning of sentence and the punishment meaning of sentence yes there is and actually strangely it all goes back to the Latin sentire, to feel, but also to be of the opinion, because quite often you might feel, I feel that this is the case. We express it in that way, don't we? We express an opinion as a feeling. And sententia in Latin for the Romans meant an opinion. And of course, that can be used in so many different ways. So it can be a way of thinking, an opinion that you've set out in grammatical form as a sort of autonomous thought that is put down, hence the idea of a sentence in grammar or punctuation, or a court's declaration of punishment. So those two are absolutely linked.

But yeah, ultimately it goes back to the idea of feelings So it's linked to sensation and all sorts of things, sentient, we are sentient beings, etc. Very good. That's it. Look, it's time for the triple whammy, the three words that you'd like us to take away this week, words that we may not know that you love. Okay, you know, quite a lot of people now have auto pens. So I don't know about you, but if I'm asked to sign something these days for work reasons, I'm sent a document that I sign electronically and they kind of give you your autograph for you and you just click, yes, I'll accept this autograph. And it doesn't probably resemble anything like the autograph that you would normally have. Well, in the olden days when we used to sign things by hand, I don't know about you, but do you have a little flourish after your signature, Giles? I don't think I've ever seen your signature. Maybe I have, but like your proper signature. You burnt all those

postcards I sent you, I remember. If you're writing Giles Brandreth, how does it look? Do you have a little flourish? I practised it for so many years when I was in my pre-teens. I spent hours doing Giles Brandreth and with a little flourish on the th but not a little squiggle after it. Okay well if you have a little flourish as some kind of embellishment on your signature it is a paraff paraff and that's the flourish on your signature. As I say I'm not sure how useful it's going to be but I love the fact that there is a word for it because so often we think there isn't this is a similar one i suppose or similar sounding one paralysis i was obviously on the same page in the dictionary

paralysis paralysis is really useful it's a really cheeky strategy of drawing attention to something while pretending not to so you could say and i say this with some sense of irony possibly, oh yes, that's a lovely book and I shall say nothing of the typo on page five. That kind of thing. Or when Al Gore accepted George W. Bush's win, well, he didn't accept it, but he was expecting it. And, you know, obviously he believed it was stolen from him and it was all a big brouhaha kerfuffle, wasn't it? And he said, if George W. Bush is inaugurated,

he'll be my president and I'll never accuse him of stealing the election. So that is a paralipsis. You know, sometimes he'll say, oh yes, yes, not to mention the blah, blah, but you go on to mention it. That's paralipsis. That's quite useful.

And there's another one that I quite like because I think we're all guilty of this at some point. Elozable. Spelled slightly strangely. E-L-O-Z-A-B-L-E, elozable. It means amenable to flattery. You are elozable. And I have to give a hat tip to Simon Hurtin on here, because he's got a lovely collection of endangered words. And he reminds me of that one, elozable, amenable to flattery. I'm very amenable to flattery. I think you are too, you beautiful creature. Thank you. Yes. Also, I always found it difficult when I was a Member

of Parliament. Not only am I susceptible to flattery, but I found I always agreed with the last person I met. Well, it's very difficult that actually, actually having to have independence of thought. I remember being in the library when I was a student and reading critics on whoever I had to write about that week and genuinely not being able to come up with an independent opinion because I thought, no, actually, they're completely right. I don't actually have anything else to say. Very difficult. Well, actually, I think most reasonable people can see both sides of the argument.

So, you know, we like to think we are reasonable people. Yeah. Which is good. No, maybe that to think we are reasonable people, which is good. No, maybe that is true, actually. Anyway, so those are my three. I was looking for a couple of poems to read at the end of this week with a pastor connection, and I couldn't find any pastor poetry. But I know people have written pastor poetry, and there's something called macaronics, amusing poems, and I must explore those and bring them to you another week.

Instead, I found a couple of ruthless rhymes that do have a culinary connection. So I thought I'd end with those. They're both from the Edwardian era. So written more than 100 years ago. One is concerned in the old days, people at this time of year would, you know, roast, toast muffins on the fire, toast toast on the fire. I love the idea of toast, freshly toasted muffins from the fire. It's almost chestnut time. And this was also a time when people had nannies or nurses. You need to know this to understand the poem. Making toast

to the fireside, nurse fell in the fire and died. And what made it ten times worse? All the toast was burned with nurse. I said it was a ruthless rhyme. It is ruthless, isn't it? It's the casual cruelty that really appeals to me. Listen to this one. During dinner at the Ritz, father kept on having fits, and, which made my sorrow greater, I was left to tip the waiter. And, which made my sorrow greater, I was left to tip the waiter. That's it. That's our lot from Something Rhymes with Purple for this week. I don't know what we're going to be talking about next week,

but we hope it will be linguistically entertaining. And if you want to contribute, do please get in touch with us. It's purple at somethingelse.com, or we're both on Twitter. What are you on Twitter? I am at Susie underscore Dent. And you are at giles b1 right that's it that's us that's us something rhymes with purple is a something else production it was produced by lawrence bassett with additional production from harriet wells steve ackerman ella mcleod and jay beal i'm sure i'm forgetting someone oh him