Something Rhymes with Purple - Portcullis

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Ah, it's the penultimate week for our fantastic podcast. Join Susie and Gyles as they unpack the wondorous world of castles. We love hearing from you, find us @SomethingRhymes on Twitter and Facebook, @SomethingRhymesWith on Instagram or you can email us on our email address here: [e-mail] Want even more purple, people? Join the Purple Plus Club by clicking the banner in Apple podcasts or head to purpleplusclub.com to listen on other platforms' Don’t forget that you can join us in person at our upcoming tour, tap the link to find tickets: www.somethingrhymeswithpurple.com  Enjoy Susie’s Trio for the week:  Hassock: Kneeler in a church. Quisquous: Difficult to handle. Umbriferous: Giving shade. Gyles' poem this week was 'Buckingham Palace' by A.A. Milne They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. Alice is marrying one of the guard. "A soldier's life is terrible hard,"                                      Says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. We saw a guard in a sentry-box. "One of the sergeants looks after their socks,"                                      Says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. We looked for the King, but he never came. "Well, God take care of him, all the same,"                                      Says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. They've great big parties inside the grounds. "I wouldn't be King for a hundred pounds,"                                      Says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. A face looked out, but it wasn't the King's. "He's much too busy a-signing things,"                                      Says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. "Do you think the King knows all about me?" "Sure to, dear, but it's time for tea,"                                      Says Alice. A Sony Music Entertainment production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts     To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail]  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Hello and welcome to episode 276 of Something Rhymes with Purple. And this is our penultimate episode. For those who are regular listeners, Giles and I will be bowing out for a little while after episode 277. But we will have news of what we're doing next, as always, on our social media pages. But that's for later. For now, Giles.

I love the way you are giving us this very casual, slightly restrained introduction, because by now, listeners to Something Rhymes with Purple will know your exciting news, and it, I hope, has reached right around the world. It seems that the king of the United Kingdom and realms beyond the seas, I think he's head of state in 14 different countries, thinks that you're rather a good egg because he's invited you to be a member of the Order of the British Empire, an old order for a modern age. But it is a lovely honour for your contribution to language, lexicography, and society in general.

So isn't that exciting? It's now Susie Dent MBE. Thank you very much. Well, I wasn't going to say anything because I think this is the sort of thing that you can be privately incredibly proud of which i am and that's why i'm saying it because i knew you wouldn't say anything but it's and i think it couldn't be more timely that as uh we take a break from something rhymes with purple to discover you know fresh fields and pastures new um you are acknowledged as being what i've always said you were and you always denied the world's leading lexicon it doesn't say that it doesn't say that because that would upset some other people who may down the road also be hoping for a bit of a

a gong and you will in due course it'll be after we've finished recording you will in due course, after we've finished recording, you will in due course be going to either Buckingham Palace or Windsor Castle to collect your gong, which is fantastic. And please, will you put on social media pictures of that? I will. I will because, yes, no, I will. And if people, seriously, if people want to follow you and not just this story, but your other work, where on social media do they find you? Okay, so I am on at Susie Dent on Instagram, and at Susie underscore Dent on X. And I do occasionally pop up on TikTok, but not very successfully, I think. And you are at Giles B1. I think. And you are at GilesB1. I'm on, yes, on X, the What What's Twitter. I am at GilesB1, G-Y-L-E-S capital B1. That's because I couldn't get my own name. Somebody was sitting

on it. So I'm at GilesB1 on Twitter X. And on Instagram, I'm simply at Giles Brandreth. That's G-Y-L-E-S-B-R-A-N-D-R-E-T-H. So if you want to keep in touch with us, lovely purple people, that's the place to find us. And we want to keep in touch with you because literally only this morning, Susie, somebody came running up to me saying, oh, it's you, it's you, it's you. Give my love to Susie. Say well done to Susie. She wanted a selfie with me. She said, I am a purple person. I love, love, love purple. Isn't that nice?

It is nice. And we will be hearing from the brilliant purple people in our final episodes. We thought that was fitting to have a special correspondence section because they really have meant the world to us without getting too cheesy. Good. Well, we have built what we think is an impregnable castle in creating Something Rhymes with Purple. It's an amazing building with many rooms and fortifications. So we thought we'd talk about castles today, didn't we? We are talking about castles, indeed. And well, if I go to Wintercastle, I will be extremely happy. I don't go to castles very often, though I did go to the one that is run by one of your friends. I went to Highclere Castle very recently, which is absolutely beautiful. The setting, most famously now

in the sort of popular imagination, I guess, for Downton Abbey. Absolutely beautiful. This is the home of the earls and countesses of Carnarvon, Highclere Castle. And as you say, it's used for the filming of Downton Abbey. But it's got lots of fascinating connections and lots of royal connections because the present Earl of Carnarvon, his father, who is best known by the nickname Porchy, because he was Lord Porchester, was the late Queen Elizabeth II's racing manager and sort of looked after a lot of her horses. And do you go to castles often? Well, funnily enough, I do go to castles quite often.

Some of them are sort of broken down, disused castles. One of the castles that I know is called Peckforton Castle in Cheshire. And it's a fine castle. And it changed my life and it changed the law. Because the lady who owned it, when I was an MP in the 1990s, a lady called Mrs. Graybill owned this castle in Cheshire. And she said, I want to have weddings in this castle. They have weddings in churches and cathedrals.

Why not in castles and historic houses? And that inspired me to introduce a private member's bill in the British Parliament that the passing of it has enabled weddings, civil weddings, to take place in castles, historic homes, etc. How lovely. And in fact, the present king and his wife, Queen Camilla, they were due to be married in Windsor Castle

because they thought, oh, well, we can apply to get a license to have weddings here in Windsor Castle. Then they discovered that you can't just get a license for a one-off wedding. It's either open for weddings or it isn't. So places like Peckfordton Castle are open for a range of weddings. But that's why when 19 years ago, Prince Charles, as he was, married Camilla Parker Bowles, they were married in the register office in Windsor and then had a blessing afterwards in St. George's Chapel. But they couldn't actually get married in the castle because otherwise everybody would have had their marriages there. Speaking as a king and queen, you have had a very

busy weekend because you were commentating very brilliantly on the Trooping the Colour. I heard you. I was watching with my mum. Oh. Yes. It was a wonderful occasion. I mean, I love, I mean, obviously, you know, people have different views about whether the monarchy is a good idea or not. Sure. But it's been there for a thousand years and more. And I happen to think it is a good idea. And I think it's rather nice to have something that is away from party politics that is above it.

And I love the pageantry and the heritage and all of that. It's an amazing ceremony. Trooping of the Colour for our international audience who may not know this is really an annual celebration of the sovereign's birthday. It's been going on since the reign of one of the King Georges, though it actually began probably the reign of Charles II. So that's quite a long time ago, several hundred years ago. So that's quite a long time ago, several hundred years ago. And they troop the colour of different regiments and there's lots of marching up and down. And anyway, it's fun to watch. So the official title of it is The Trooping of the Colour, whereas I talk about Trooping the Colour. So both apply, apart from what you've just said? Yes. Yes. Both apply.

Okay. And why people like watching it, you see the pageantry, you see the horses. I mean, 2,000 soldiers on parade, hundreds of horses. There's a big flypast at the end. And the royal family usually, in fact, invariably, turns up on the iconic balcony of Buckingham Palace to wave to the crowds, and there were big crowds, and to look up at the flypast. And I discovered doing research for the commentary that I was helping give that the balcony was really created in the 1850s during the reign of Queen Victoria.

And the royals had been appearing on that balcony for 170 years. But more than that, I discovered that the great, great, great grandfather of Camilla, now Queen Camilla, was the builder responsible for building that wing of Buckingham Palace. Oh, how amazing. For creating, designing, and making that parking. Oh, fantastic. So nice synchronicity.

And it was okay for me because I was in a commentary box, but it was a bit grim for other people because it was a very British day in June. Oh my goodness. And there was plenty of rain. There was sunshine and there was rain. Yes. Yes. But for The Red Arrows, which has always been my favourite,

because I have to say I haven't watched it for a very long time, but being with my mum, she loves it. The Red Arrows fly past. mom she loves it um the red arrows fly past um the sky was just a gorgeous cerulean cerulean blue um lit up by sunshine for that particular thing which was lovely now look we mentioned the word castle what is the origin of the word castle we are supposed to be about words and language give me the etymology of castle yes well uh in, in its earliest form, it was used to translate the Greek word kome, I think it was, K-O-M-E, which was a village. And then it came to mean a large series of connected buildings. And then, of course, ones that were fortified for defence that became a

stronghold later on, although I suppose everybody's home is a bit of a stronghold. And then in Roman times, Castrum and Castra, in its plural, were sort of military encampments, so to speak. And you will find the suffix relating to that in lots of different place names, such as Chester, as you know, such as Manchester, which was a breast-shaped hill on which an encampment stood, and so on. So, it survives very much in its oldest form, in its Roman form, in many of our place names. And of course, in its modern form, it's in lots of place names as well, like Newcastle. Yes, absolutely. Newcastle, exactly right. Around a castle, a traditional castle, I like to see a moat. Yes. M-O-A-T. Now, this is a different spelling for the moat in your eye, or is it the same?

No. So, the moat that you get in your eye is from Old English, and it's related to a Dutch word for dust. So, not related to the moat around a castle, which is from an old French word, mot, meaning a mound, which makes sense in terms of its shape. Oh, how interesting. So, it doesn't need to have water in it. I always think of, after the Norman conquest, it shifted a little bit in Norman French and Anglo-Norman, which as you know, was the hybrid that we came up with a mixture of English and French after the conquest. And so it was transferred from that mound, the castle mound, to the ditch that was dug around it and then to the water. I was brought up on a film called The Court Jester with Danny Kane. It's a 1950s film. It's wonderful. And it's about a court jester. And so

it's set at a medieval court. And the centerpiece is the castle that has everything you'd want. It has a battlement, ramparts, turrets, a dungeon, a drawbridge. Can you take us through some of those words, some of the words associated with a castle? Yes. So dungeon is a drawbridge. Can you take us through some of those words, some of the words associated with a castle? Yes. So, dungeon is an interesting one. It's had quite a journey to get from where it started to where it is now, because originally it was the Latin dominium, meaning a dominion, of course, and that in turn is from the Latin dominus, which was the master, and particularly the master of a castle or the master of a dynasty and that kind of thing. So the sense of the master was then, I suppose, transferred to mastery of a

particular person. And then you had the idea of the castle keep and then the strong cell in which people were imprisoned, which is the ultimate subjection to the dominion of someone else. So that one's quite surprising. Then we have the castle keep, which is the strongest tower of a castle, which acts as a final refuge. That is related to the idea of keeping or maintaining something in its modern sense, because it's about guarding or defending something, so to have it within your grasp. And of course, if it is that final point of refuge, then you are hoping to guard and protect yourself against the enemy. Oh, so keeping yourself safe. What about the ramparts? You scale the ramparts, or try to if you're attacking the castle. Yes. Well, that is from French, of course.

And if you take it right the way back to the Latin roots of that French, you will have anti, meaning before, as in an antechamber, and perare, meaning to prepare. So they are an earthen elevation around a place, aren't they, for, again, resistance against the enemy, capable of protecting against cannon shot. Sometimes you'll find parapets as well it's all about preparing yourself before so sort of getting it's around a place you're sort of in front of the place and and preparing for that initial assault incidentally a loophole we talk about a loophole these days the very first meaning of a loophole was one of those very narrow slits in a castle wall through which an archer could put their arrow. It was an arrow slit, if you like. It's from a very old word,

loop, meaning an embrasure, if you like, and then the hole after it. So, of course, then a narrow, narrow get-out, if you like, became a loophole later on. Because a loophole, a loop is also, isn't it, a magnifying glass? Yes. So, you've got that loop, I think. Oh, I didn't know that. Isn't it? Maybe I've got that wrong. I'm going to look it up now. A loop. I thought that was a wolf or a fox. No, a wolf is a loop, isn't it? Yeah, a wolf is a loo, isn't it? Yeah, a wolf is a loo.

I thought a loop, as in an eyeglass, would be... I feel it's a Victorian term. I'm used to seeing it cropping up in Victorian books. And I thought it was L-O-O-P. So I wondered if it was connected. L-O-U-P-E. Oh, a loop. Used by jewellers and watchmakers.

And yeah, straight from French. Whether or not it's related to the wolf, I'm not sure. I'll have to go to my French essay. No, it obviously isn't. I'm misspelling it, mispronouncing it. Well, the French loop for wolf is L-O-U-P. So there may be a connection there.

I shall find out. Well, keep going. As I arrive at my castle, I want there to be as well as a moat, which I want filled with water. I want there to be a drawbridge so that I come, which I want filled with water, I want there to be a drawbridge so that I come up to the door and the drawbridge has come down and I can cross the drawbridge into the castle. I suppose a drawbridge, it's simply a bridge that you can draw up and

down. Absolutely. Yes. And again, as we know, we have bridge appearing in many, many an English place name for obvious reasons. And usually it implies the river that it is a bridge over. But yeah, drawbridge is fairly transparent, I think. Is there something called a portcullis that comes down? It's like a gate. Explain to me what it is and what the origin of that is, the portcullis. Yeah. So the portcullis is from French porte, meaning a gate, and then a very old French word meaning sliding or flowing. So it's a kind of sliding gate, a portcullis, isn't it? And do you remember that another name for it was a cataract, actually?

So, a cataract. So, first of all, the portcullis is that kind of strong, heavy grating that you can lower down to block a gateway. And a cataract, the idea of the cataract of your eye when the lens becomes progressively opaque is from the Latin cataracta, which was also a portcullis. And the idea is that when you have a cataract, it's almost as though you have a floodgate or a gate coming down to obscure your vision. And taking that apart, the port is the entrance. Yes. And the cullis is what? The cullis is from an old French word meaning sliding or flowing.

So it's a door, a porte being door, and calice is sliding, or it's as simple as that. Yes, absolutely. And battlement is the same as embattled. It's a battle and it's pretty obvious, isn't it? What's the meant part of battlement? It's pretty obvious, isn't it? What's the meant part of battlement? That's just a French suffix for a noun and also for a sort of verb of action, but primarily a noun in this case. So yeah, so the battlement is from the old French bataillement, and it's important to note that a lot of these are from old French. They're from

the French that was brought over by the Norman conquerors, who of course, you know, greatly fortified Britain and the defence from the enemy. So a lot of the words that we have are from either Norman French or from Anglo French, which is what we created. This is very interesting because this is telling us something that we've been looking back over our hundreds of episodes of Purple. For example, I noted an episode about words that came about during the First World War, and then words that came about during the Second World War. Here, you're telling me these are words that really have come about as a result of the Norman conquest. A lot of them. Yeah, a lot of

them. And the fortifications. That's not to say that they didn't exist before. But if you take a lot of castles, you will find, I mean, I think when William came over and established his superiority over the English, I think about 5,000 castles had been constructed by the time of his death. So it's unsurprising that so much of the French vocabulary kind of percolated into French from there. That's not to say that we didn't have words for certain fortifications before, but the ones that we tend to use today obviously are linked to 5,000 castles. That's quite a number. It is. Is the word Bailey anything to do with this? I'm thinking of the old Bailey, Bailey Wick. Why do I associate it with castles. That's quite a number. It is. Is the word bailey anything to do with this? I'm thinking of the old bailey, a bailey wick. Why do I associate it with castles?

Yes. And we talk about a motte and bailey, don't we, as well, as a style of castles, a castle that has a fort on a motte that is surrounded by a bailey. So yes, absolutely part of this vocabulary. And that one goes back to a relative of the bale that you might use in cricket, the stump. So it's Old French baille, B-A-I-L-E, which was a sort of fence, if you like. But also, it wasn't just the palisade, but it was also the enclosure within it. So a bailey is the outer wall of a castle, or it's a court that's enclosed by a bailey. You know so much. Well, I don't know. But as you can tell, I've been scurrying in the dictionary for certain things. Well, obviously, now you are a member of the Order of the Brajampa. You're spending much more of your time in castles.

So you've just got to get used to it. But I do recommend this film, The Court Jester with Danny Kaye. It is hilarious, but it takes you all over the castle. And they're having wonderful sword fights on the ramparts. That's the kind of thing that I love. I mean, I pictured myself, because of seeing this film as a boy, I pictured myself as a kind of Errol Flynn heroic figure in a tunic with a little feathered cap and brilliant with my sword work. Did you picture yourself as a kind of fairy tale princess up a turret? Um, no, I didn't really. Um, I mean, I loved, I loved the, the story of Rapunzel. So I guess,

you know, that was- Is she the one who lets down her hair? Yes. I mean, painful or what? She lets down her hair. And does the, is it a romantic story? Is she, is it- Yeah, so I think, uh, I'm trying to think of the original because I'm thinking of the Disney incarnation, but her hair is definitely climbed up, uh, which must be agonizing. And yeah, I think she climbs down it. Well, not if it's her boyfriend. She doesn't feel a thing. He just leaps up. He just uses it to help him climb the stairs.

Now, I have something for you which is not to do with Rapunzel, but everything's to do with that loop. Oh, good. Yes. So, I have now looked at my Etymological Dictionary, and it has nothing to do with that loop. So I have now looked at my etymological dictionary, and it has nothing to do with either the loophole, L-O-O-P, or the L-O-U-P loop, which is a wolf in French. It's to do with an old Frankish word meaning something pendulous. So it's all about something that hangs down or dangles so when you have that um watchmakers or jewelers eyepiece does it hang down it could do from your waistcoat or from your belt maybe absolutely to keep it about your person yeah

or do you keep it hanging around your neck yeah i felt like i had to tie that up because we haven't got many episodes left where i can come back and say you know that question you were asking me well i'm never going to find a place to answer people's questions. We must do that. I agree. Because what I love, too, about the whole world of purple is you start with one thing and you go off in sort of highways and byways. And it takes you down little cul-de-sacs. I agree.

You know. Cul-de-sac. Cul-de-sac. We know what that is. That means the bottom of the bag doesn't it it does but it's also used um medically for part of the intestines that is a bit of a dead end i think um oh really uh yes and then came to so it actually means the ass of a sack that the sort of behind of um of a sack and it was used in anatomy for a vessel tube or sack open at only one end. Excellent. And that reminds me that there was, in the 1960s, a nude review called O Calcutta,

devised by a distinguished theatre critic named Kenneth Tynan, and he created this erotic review and called it O Calcutta from the French O Quel Culta. Oh, what an arse you've got. That's the origin of O Calcutta. Oh, seriously, I had no idea about that. So nothing to do with Calcutta. No, nothing to do with Calcutta at all. There you are. You see, that is the joy of something rhymes with the purple. You live and learn, then sadly you die and forget it all. I was just going to say, though, that when we're talking about sort of, you know, starting in one place and ending up in another, Kenneth Tyne then is credited with the first use of the F word, isn't he, on TV in 1965? On television. Disputed by some who say they said it first.

I think Miriam Margolis was on television when she. On television. Disputed by some who say they said it first. I think Miriam Margolis was on television when she was a student. And no, I think it was, maybe she was doing something like University Challenge and muttered it, but it wasn't picked up. So that doesn't count. But he definitely was the person who first deliberately used the F word on television. I wouldn't want that to be my epitaph, particularly when he was a very good theatre critic as well. Yes. Although, you know,

I suppose if that was his only legacy, that would be a bit sad, but I think he's got others, including El Calcutta, which I now know about. Yeah. There you go. That's why people listen to

Something Rhymes with Purple. Stay listening. After the break, it's your turn. Purple People, speaking to us. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey.

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You can listen to Dinners on Me wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to Something Rhymes with Purple, where we have been talking fortifications and going off tangents and ending up with the first use of the F word on TV. But now, as Giles said before the break, this is your turn where you can send us in emails and voice notes, because we love hearing your voices, in which you basically ask us a question that most of the time we've never thought of before. And that's what I love about this. So the first one, Giles, I don't know if you have it there. It's from Madeline Harrison. I have it. And this is what she says.

Hello, Susie and Giles. I love your podcast and listen while doing the ironing, which means that ironing becomes almost a pleasure. When we moved to our present home in Tadworth, Surrey, we noticed a place nearby called Mogador, a word which takes me back to my childhood in Hammersmith, London. My lovely mother used to say that she was confounded by anything. Well, I'm Mogador'd, or that that got me Mogador'd. She was a born Londoner, and I presumed that it could have been Cockney rhyming slang, but I've never met anyone else who said it. Can you shed any light on this? Thanks in hope of an answer, and with my best wishes, Madeline Harrison.

Mogador. Yes. Do you know what? I had never, ever heard of this, Madeline, So it was really nice to go off and have a look. It could be rhyming slang. If you're mogadored, you're completely flawed. But we don't know what that rhyming slang is based on, if you like. Some people say it's actually from Irish and a word for mocking or jeering. Others suggest that it comes from the language of Romany. And it may indeed also go back to a port in Morocco, which was once called Mogadour. And that itself comes from an old word for it, safe anchorage. And that was bombarded in Morocco in 1844 when the French Navy, well, basically came to pummel it. But British weren't involved unusually. And so I'm not quite sure why it would have come into English. As you say, Madeleine, it's the name of your village in

Surrey, but we don't know genuinely what the definitive answer is, but that hasn't struck people coming up with theories. I think if I had to go back to one, I like Mogadored flawed, but we just have to find what that first bit of the rhyming slang was all about. So the work goes on. Well, that's very good to be flawed at the almost final hurdle is salutary music. We've got another query now, and this one comes from Australia. We have so many listeners in Australia. We love that. Hello.

I'm a longtime listener of your podcast in Newcastle. Look, there you are, another place with Castle in the name, Australia, and I'm fascinated by the origins of surnames. While I understand some of the more obvious ones, like the butchers and the bakers of this world, some leave me flummoxed. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to be called Susie Flummox? One that has always stood out to me is former Chelsea and Leicester midfielder Danny Drinkwater. That seems like such an everyday habit for so many of us. Why would it lead to someone getting that name?

I would love to know if there's a quirky story about his ancestors and any other boring names you can add on. We don't want boring names. Interesting ones are good stories. Anyway, I'm making my way through your vast collection of podcasts, so if this does ever make it onto the show, it would be great if you could give me a heads up. No, we won't do that, Oliver. You've got to wait. You've got to plough through all 300 episodes and all the bonus episodes until you find your name. But thank you, Oliver, for being in touch. Danny Drinkwater. I remember Danny Blanchflower, but Danny Drinkwater is new to me. Can we do both Drinkwater and Blanchflower? Oh, wow. Well, i can certainly do drink water for

you in um that it probably was literally somebody who was a hydropot which is an old word for um a water drinker so quite possibly someone who um decided against drinking alcohol for whatever reason uh and uh that would have been quite a thing because small beer was a weak ale that for a very long time was considered to be safer than water. And so that was the kind of standard drink. So to deliberately choose water instead would have been noticed. So the other possibility is that it actually comes from someone who did drink an awful lot, who was a toss pot, if you remember, Giles. I do. Somebody tossed back their pot of beer and immediately ordered another.

And so that this was a kind of mocking nickname for them. As for Blanche Flower, I suspect most of these names again came in around the Norman Conquest. You can see the huge influence that that event had on our language. And so I would say definitely French origin and probably simply White Flower, whether it was a heraldic White Flower or just somebody who came from the place of White Flowers, not completely sure. Simple as that. Yes.

Well, look, people want to know more about words and language. You've written so many books on the subject. What is your book that covers curiosities of language, obscure words or unusual words with interesting stories behind them? Which of those books would you recommend to anyone? I would say probably, in that case, Word Perfect. Fine. Yeah, I would say that's the one that's got my own personal choice of

words that you may find interesting, but probably won't have occasion to use much, like conspue, which is to spit on someone with contempt. I couldn't believe that I found a word for that, and various other things, but most of them are linked to an event. Well, actually, that's quite a useful word, to conspire. I had to conspire on him. Now, have you got three such words to share with us? I do. I do, I do. The first one, it may be familiar to regular churchgoers. I have to say, I only knew them as kneelers. And this is from me who went to a convent. But you know, when you kneel down to pray at certain parts of a mass, sometimes you

sit down, sometimes you kneel down, sometimes you stand up. But when you kneel down, you often sit on this nicely cushioned kneeler. Well, I didn't know that the term for that was a hassock. Oh, yes, indeed. Did you know that? I didn't know that. I did know that because when I was a little boy, I was a very regular churchgoer because I was a server at one high Anglican church and then I was in the choir at another. And I'm sure I've told you how we, when I was in the choir, would kneel because we were paid and we were paid more for funerals than we were for weddings

and we would be kneeling looking through our hands at who looked oldest in the congregation and we would pray for god to reap them that week so that no yeah so we haven't told me that five shillings so we'll be sitting there all of us kneeling peeping through our hands during the prayers so yes a hassock ohck. So that's what a nila is called. Is there an interesting etymology to hassock? No, we don't know where it comes from, which is slightly frustrating, but I'm glad that I have a term for it now. The second one is, well, I think you'd be able to decipher this one. I may even have mentioned it in the course of our 270-odd episodes, umbriferous. And umbriferous means carrying shade or shade bearing. So you might have an umbriferous

spot in your garden during the summer months that you retreat to. Oh, that would be a fine thing, wouldn't it, in Britain? As we record this, this is in June, and we have had so little sunshine that, as Giles mentioned with the tripping of the colour, we're all a little bit down in the dumps. Although it is shining into my study as I speak. Of course. The umber bit at the beginning of that is as in ombre and umbrella, the same source? Absolutely. Umbridge as well. Umbridge, all the same.

Umbridge again. Yes, all the same. And my third one, and you will remember something that sounds quite like it, Giles. It's one of my favorite words for criticizing someone when actually it sounds like you're complimenting them to the skies. Quisquillius, if you remember. I do. I mean, it's absolutely rubbish, but it sounds so beautiful. This is quite similar. It's simply quisquus. And quisquus, it means difficult to handle. So if you've got a sort of unmanageable problem, you can say that I've just got, it's a bit like intractable. I've got this problem. It's just so quisquus. Would it have to be a problem? You

couldn't say the spaghetti is quisquus because you're having finding difficult to keep on your fork uh well you can extend it any which way you like i like that's the beauty i'm going to be using that word quisquis difficult to handle excellent yes well i'm recommending i have all suzy dent's books i'm looking forward so much to her novel that is coming out this summer. Remind me what the title of the novel is. It's so brilliant. Oh, thank you. It's called Guilty by Definition. Guilty by Definition. And I haven't read it yet. No. But I do know the author, so I can recommend it. But I do have Word Perfect.

Because it's not out yet. That's why I haven't read it. Otherwise, I will send you one. Good. Well, no, I'll buy it. I'll buy it. It won't be that expensive. And I do have a copy of Word Perfect, which is a wonderful bedside book to dip into if you want fun with language. The bedside book I recommend to people, and it's one that my poem is coming from this week, is called Dancing by the Light of the Moon. And I wrote this, I think before we started doing the podcast. I say I wrote it.

Most of it is not by me. It's a collection. It's an anthology of poetry, particularly poetry to learn by heart. Because I made lots of interesting discoveries when I was collecting these poems about how poetry can transform your memory, change your life. For younger people, it's brilliant to learn poetry by heart, improves your skills with language. And older people, it helps keep your memory going, as well as giving enormous pleasure to learn new poems. That's a great skill. And also

to relearn poems from your childhood. And the poem I'm going to read you today is one from my childhood. And I'm reading it because it's relevant, because Susie Dent will be going either to Windsor Castle or to Buckingham Palace to collect her gong when she gets it in due course. Why is it called a gong? I should know this. I'm going to have to find out why. Maybe it's because, I don't know, why is it called a gong? I don't know.

You hang it around your neck like a little gong? Well, while you read your poems, I will look it up in the OED and see if it tells us. Yes, and find out why an honour that is a medal is called a gong. This is a poem by A. A. Milne. And of course, I'm notorious for my name dropping, and regular listeners will know that I was lucky enough to be a friend of the son, the only child of A. A. Milne, Christopher Robin, a real boy born in 1920, for whom his father, A. A. Milne, famous as a writer and a poet and a polemicist, novelist

and playwright, he wrote some wonderful poems and some wonderful stories. And the poems often featured Christopher Robin. And this one is simply called Buckingham Palace. Their changing guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice. Alice is marrying one of the guard. A soldier's life is terrible hard, says Alice. Their changing guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice.

We saw a guard in a sentry box. One of the sergeants looks after their socks, says Alice. Christopher Robin went down with Alice. We saw a guard in a sentry box. One of the sergeants looks after their socks, says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice. We looked for the king, but he never came. Well, God take care of him all the same, says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice. They've great big parties inside the grounds. I wouldn't be king for a hundred pounds, says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice. A face looked out, but it wasn't the king's. He's much too busy assigning things, says Alice. They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace.

Christopher Robin went down with Alice. Do you think the king knows all about me? Sure, too, dear. But it's time for tea, says Alice. Well, that was one of the famous favourite poems of my childhood. Yeah. And now the king knows all about you, Susie Dent. Have you been to a garden party before? I've never been to a garden party. Well, you're going to be going to garden parties now.

And one of the incidental benefits of belonging to this order of the British Empire, which you may not know about, but they may have told you about it already, is that you have special rights at St. Paul's Cathedral. Yes, I did know this. You did know that. I did. Well, congratulations. Thank you.

We're looking forward to coming to whatever you're going to be organising at St. Paul's Cathedral. And if you get invited to a garden party and there's a plus one and you don't fancy taking your mother or your daughters, there's always me. Oh, you'll be there already, surely. Well, to be honest, I have been very privileged in my life, and I have been to garden parties. They're the great big parties inside the grounds. Sometimes people ask, who is Alice in this poem?

And I should have said at the beginning that the kind of middle class or upper middle class family that Christopher Robin apparently belongs to would have had a nursemaid or a nanny. And so that is who Alice is. It's not his girlfriend. It's the young lady who's looking after him. So there we are. Well, I'm here to tell you that a gong is recorded in the sense of a medal or decoration from 1925, and it's in a lexicon of soldier and sailor words, and it says in this particular record that it's an old army term suggested by the shape. So there you go. There you are. That makes sense. Well, it's time to strike a different kind of gong, because that's the end of this particular show. So thank you so much for joining us. Do join us

one more time for a fresh Something Rhymes with Purple. But as Susie's mentioned to you, there are several hundred past episodes. So if you're missing us in the weeks to come, why not start all over again? You'll find us five years ago, even younger. Well, in my case, even younger. In Susie's case, she couldn't be younger because she's perpetually younger than springtime oh you're so lovely something rides the purple is a so new music entertainment production it was produced by naio the additional production from jennifer mystery

richie lee ollie wilson and he's back and i couldn't be more pleased because this is our penultimate recording. I'm hoping he's going to stick around for the next one. Well, he knows who he is. You know who he is, Giles. We hardly recognise him though because his beard is now so neatly trimmed. He's looking very pulled together, very spruce. It's none other than our good friend, Gully.