Something Was Wrong - S1 E14: We All Dodged a Bullet

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

A listener makes a discovery that leads Sara to final answers in her quest for the truth. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast, Killer Psychy Daily, I share a quick 10-minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the cold-butter killers you read about in the news. Listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast Killer Psychy Daily in the Amazon Music exclusive podcast killer psyche daily in the Amazon music app. Download the app today. Hey, hi, it has been a busy break for the podcast, and I'm really excited to be back. Today's surprise episode is the final episode planned for season

one, and it is revealing. Soon you'll be seeing season two episodes dropping in your feet. I'll fill you in more on what's to come later in the show. This podcast is intended for mature audiences and could be triggering to some. Please use discretion when listening. A few weeks after the Q&A episode was recorded, I was avoiding social interactions at a birthday party when I received an Instagram voice message from an old friend of mine, Lindsay After the Q&A episode was recorded, I was avoiding social interactions at a birthday party when I received an Instagram voice message from an old friend of mine, Lindsay number one.

Lindsay number one shared that she and a friend had been listening to the podcast, and apparently her friend was something of a web sleuth, and she had discovered Dix' real identity. When Lindsay number one went to Insta-stock dick, she was shocked to see that another friend of hers, also named Lindsay, was following Dix' private Insta Stock Dick, she was shocked to see that another friend of hers, also named Lindsay, was following Dick's private Insta account. She messaged Lindsay number two to ask her how the hell she knew this douchebag, and Lindsay number two shared that she had unfortunately dated him.

In 2018, Lindsay number two and Sarah connected briefly over text, and set up a time for us to talk. What we learned was both shocking and alarming. I'm Tiffany Reese and this is Something Was Wrong. You can love me, you don't know me well. So this is pretty crazy. I'm just finishing up nursing school right now, so we're like in exams, and then Lindsay, my friend called me out of the blue two days ago, and I was like, too. I'm like, what?

This can't even be real. You hadn't listened to the podcast yet when she called you, right? So you had no idea what she was talking about? I mean, real. You hadn't listened to the podcast yet when she called you, right? So you had no idea what she was talking about? Yeah, I had no idea. So she had message me through Instagram sending me a snapshot of his Instagram profile. And she was like, dude, how do you know this guy?

And I'm like, I don't know. Like, we dated, but the guys are freak. So I didn't know. I was like, I don't know like we dated but the guy's a freak. So I didn't know. I was like, I have no idea what you're talking about. So she had sent me her podcast but I didn't listen to it until yesterday morning. I was like, holy crap, that's insane, but I get it. Like, it makes it makes sense to me. It wasn't really like, it wasn't like in shock and awe more like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, well yeah, because he's seen it. So you met him on Matt.

Yeah, that's when I met him was on Matt. Okay, what cracks me up is when he and I connected the story that he kept like repeating to everybody was that he had been in this season of undividedness, you know, or he wasn't seeing anybody. It was just, you know, him and the Lord and that he had deleted his hijab even off of his phone. And then when I liked one of his photos, he got an email, which I know now a pretty sure

Hindi doesn't email you when you get notifications or when there's activity on there. But anyway, it's just funny that it not only was all of that a bunch of you know crap But she went on that too So my story with him was I had I was living in Reading and I had gotten on Matt I had been on there and he was the first guy I had like ever like met or was interested on like a dating site. Because obviously after listening to the podcast, we all know like how Suave and great communication and just super easy and cool it was to talk with him.

Much of the same similarities how you guys met. Sounded like and he was living in San Francisco at the time. And my one of my best friends, Sarah, she lived in San Jose. And so I, within like a week, he was like, hey, come down, whatever. And so that's the first time. And I had went on, actually brought my friend here on the date. And just because it was like, you know, big city and what else. That's smart.

So we met and he was, oh, he was when you met him. I'm sure it was just very fun and easy and whatnot. So I want to say that was sometimes during before December. My best recollection I'm thinking was my friend and I we kind of put our head together on our thinking like it was September, October, and there of 2017. Wow. And then, yeah, you started dating? Yeah, so that's like when we first started like that's when we first like met on match and whoa whoa whoa

Okay, sorry, it was like the end of 2017 to the beginning of 2018 Okay, so I thought it was at the end of like 2017 where about because it was the holiday, like on a day to the day, so Christmas lights were starting to come up and the weather was so cold. So it was like holiday season, right? And so we didn't get into like a relationship like you guys did.

So I'll just be clear about that. I was super busy with my businesses at the Reading and he was super busy doing all the things that he says he does. And he knew I mean it was like a lot. And so it worked out great for us because we only thought each other when we had time, which now makes a kind of sense because he was super busy. But what was kind of funny in the podcast when you talked about you living in Sacramento and him saying he's never been there. And like that's a lie because the only reason why he would come up and see me a lot was

because he said he was working a lot in Sacramento. Oh my gosh. And so, you know, there was like a whole bunch of weird coincidences that aren't very coincidental now that you look back at it. So he has been to Sacramento because he would come up to see me and said it was very easy

because he was coming that way anyways. And he would probably see me, he would come up like maybe every other week. So can I, okay, because now my memories are all freaking out, or I'm freaking out and thinking of all the memories. So when you would, when he would come to see you, did he come up to Reading, or did you guys meet in fact? No, he would come up to Reading, or I would go to San Francisco. We never met in that.

Now, were these like during weekdays or weekends? Weekends. Because I think we were with each other almost every weekend from probably maybe October-ish to, I mean, well after we were engaged. It could have been a weekday. He never stayed the night up and readying. He never stayed up there.

So when he did come to see me, it would be for like a half a day or something. And then most of the time, it was me going down and seeing him. Gosh, I would just kill to know like specifically because everything is so fresh and vivid in my mind because it was so fast and short. That's why it's so bad because it's,

you're like on high alert because you know all this stuff is for me. I'm like, yeah, I've dated tons of people since and I'm just like this crazy psychodude. And then once it came up, I was like, oh God, I feel so bad for you because I've been married before and I met a guy, the guy who I married

was almost identical to now finding out who was and it, I think it was just a god thing like when we did meet there were so many of those same types of character traits that I was like something's off and I even pulled Lindsay number one. I never introduced them like we never took it that far. I never introduced them to my family or anything up here for a couple of reasons. And one was because I never introduced anybody to my family because they get very connected. Like they get very excited, right? Like I'm in my 30s like oh my god you met by the week. We were worried about you being a geriatric pregnancy like it's a war right and so I don't have a fracture.

Yeah I don't I want to introduce him to anybody so I'm like I don't know if I'm in a life in the six months right and I got married really quick so a guy just like him so I kind of have this rule of I didn't bring this month. And I don't care if I love them or they love me, just because I got burned before. So I didn't introduce him to like my family, but at the end of, I want to say the end of December, beginning of January was when he started getting super busy and weird stuff started happening.

Like we, one of our last conversations that was sitting in the car and ready and he was wherever he was and we got into a big fight about religion and by sight I don't mean yelling but a very I'm holding my own he's holding his own viewpoint. I remember this conversation was like three hours where he was all about you want to know about my day And I had told him I was reading this book by Joyce Meyer, right? Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, and then hell broke loose. It was like very particular. Yeah, I was like it's a great divide Right like it just instantly the spawn of Satan came out of him and it was just like you asked to stop reading that book You know, and then he tried doing this whole demeaning, perennial thing with me. And I'm like, what do you mean? And then we started going

back and forth with Bible verses and by that time I was like, whoa, hold the song to be no way in a relationship of like mutual respect and God be loved that we're fighting over females, having a place in the church, right? Like that was my big thing with him where the red flags went up. I got off the phone with him. I talked with my parents. They had knew I was seeing him and it had liked him and had never met him. And my parents were like, get out of it. There's something going on. That's weird. It shouldn't be like that. All the stuff, right? And I had kind of the same intuition, but with still kind of, you could probably relate with still stuck into his coignus and just so common cool and he would make it up by calling and saying,

you know, like, I'm so sorry, like, let's move on past that blah, blah, blah. And that would kind of keep me, but then we would always, I always had it in the back of my mind, like, man, he is really strong on that. And then he would say some stuff about the church I went to and all these other things and I started to see this pattern. And it was in January, he had gotten super busy and he just stopped talking to me out of the blue. One of the answer my phone calls, deleted me from Instagram, from whatever Instagram he had because I found out he had like three or four.

And so he had deleted me from that one, and I had no contact. And at that point, I was super pissed, but more thankful for super pissed. Like what? I was sitting in the car, I'm like, time, like all the stuff. And then like a couple of weeks later, I want to say like three or four weeks later,

he requested me on Instagram again and when I pulled it up, when I accepted him, these were all the photos I saw and this was January 26th. He requested you and those photos were posted. Yeah. So I don't know what the point of all of that was. But when then like when I started Instagramming him, dude, WTF, he would not respond. And it was just like, I had met somebody and it went really fast and blah, blah, blah. Okay. So I saw that freestyle, synth, that stuff to my friends. And then then she said her whatever you dodged, to to bullet and we both kind of just went on with life because I might be along with this dude. Obviously he has

some major stuff going on and he met somebody while he met me and got engaged. He just that's why he was busy. So that's why he didn't care about a lot of stuff that I was talking about. It was just, it kind of all came into this perfect storm for me. Yeah. And so I just let it go. And then it wasn't until the end of the year, end of 2018, like in September, he re-requested me on Instagram again. Wow. Yeah, it's like, it's so perverted, right?

And it just makes no sense. And it was from a different Instagram. And all of your guys' pictures were off. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, what the heck? And then I had weird scattered Instagrams of in September through December of last year, where he would reach out out and I'm still trying to get answers from him Like what in the hell happened when did you?

Yeah Why why why why any still never had answers so that was the end of it like I never Wanted back he's tried to like come and see me out here and again it was just I just never Responded I just knew at that point. When did he last try to come see you or suggest to come to see you? That was in September. But he's been out in Colorado since June. Yeah I didn't know where he lived or like whatever.

We never asked conversations like hey how's your life anything like that. I was more I was my questions were like the same every time What happened? Yeah, just tell me what happened to me her I just walked by Answers, but then when Lindsay had given me all of this information now kind of all makes sense Yeah, from my from my perspective obviously not from York. Yeah, so I Haven't listened to all the podcasts. I don't know if I'm going to be honest,

just because of this point, it's all like posh posh to me. It's like, too, this guy's way, it is what it is. Yeah, wait for him. Help, but I know that when you talked about going to that concert in South, that he took you to. Yeah. I remember him telling me, like, that was one of his,

like, stay brick Christian bands, and that he was going to see them. And so when I was in the podcast, I was like, dude, no way. So I knew at that point in the podcast as well, okay, that just confirmed that he was seeing you at the same time. If you're into true crime, the Generation Y podcast is essential listening. We started this podcast over 10 years ago to dissect some of the craziest and most notable

murders, crimes, and conspiracy theories together, and we'd love for you to join us. Generation Y is one of the longest running true crime podcasts out there, and we are still at it, unraveling a new case every week. We break down infamous cases like the Evil Genius Bank robbery, and we are still at it, unraveling a new case every week. We break down infamous cases like the Evil Genius Bank robbery, and lesser known cases like the case of Kimberly Rico, did she actually kill her husband after they took part in a murder mystery game? We cover every angle, breaking down theories, diving deep into forensic evidence, and interviewing those close to the case, and with over 450 episodes, there's a little something for every true crime listener.

Follow the Generation Y Podcasts on Amazon Music, or every Listen to Podcasts, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app. And then when you guys were in Colorado, he had called me and texted me from Colorado. So he was telling me about his time in Colorado and was like signing on a time to see me again. And so that was another thing where I was like,

okay, you were with him in Colorado. He was calling me from a Colorado trip. He was on. So all these different things where I was like, man, that he was really trying to juggle like the roots for sure. Oh, oh my gosh. And let me tell you, I mean, that trip to call his parents were handing us a check for our wedding.

That's what this trip was. And yet, at some point during this, he was on the phone. I'm trying to figure out even when he had time to be on the phone, because that trip was so non-stop. Yeah, I don't know, dude. I don't know. It's like, was it like at night that he was on the phone if you were during the day? I know. If you don't remember, it's nobody else. I honestly, I wish I could tell you it's okay. I have no idea.

I can't even remember what it ate for breakfast yesterday. I'm just like, poor thing. Land of stress, but I have no idea. I just know that he did. We had contacts. I was like, like, for things. Land of stress, but I have no idea. I just know that he did. We had contact and knew he was in Colorado. Like, I knew the things that he was doing,

but again, we weren't in a serious relationship and we shot him. We were when we had time. Nonetheless, it doesn't make it good or settle easy to know. I mean, for either one of us, because when I heard that, I was like, oh, yeah, I remember him telling me about that trip, except for you weren't involved in it, if you know. Right. Yeah, this is a little detail you left.

Did you know he took provisional? Okay, here's the thing. So he is hard to keep everything straight with him. And so I would just kind of tune a lot out. But I do, there was a lot of talk around supplements, energy stuff. He would pop, I was always under the impression that he was just downing supplements like crazy. Yeah, at the same time, part of me have this weird feeling that I should maybe look into some of the stuff he was taking when he was just super flippin' about it. And I knew that he would be up late at times, but he always said he was doing work or

doing design stuff or doing a side gig, you know, contract work, setting the Bible. So he's so gross, but okay, so anyway, yeah, he, I mean during our time, you know, he had, this is so gross, but I'm going to tell you. So he, I remember him telling me like, because he would be up late, yes, I concur this too, I know, and he would call me like super and paid at night. And he would be like crazy full of energy. And I'm just like, why are you not sleeping? And he said like, he had all these sleeping issues.

And in one conversation, he was like, I need to get this like refill from the doctor. I'm like, oh, for what? And because I'm in the health field, you know, I'm like, oh, yeah, it's not me about the drugs you're taking. Yeah, so we're so vigil. And I'm like, why the freak are you taking Adderall? Because Provigil's pretty much Adderall

is a super powerful stimulant. But it's an off-labeled drug that you mostly treat like narcolepsy or sleepaphnea or people who travel a lot for work and they have that like sleep disorder that sleep wakes the sore throat. But he said that he was taking it because the guy, Dave, whatever the... He asked for it? Yeah, so he's BS up. Oh, so stupid. He...

Yeah, right. They're besties. I'm like, you never even met that freaking dude. Like, no, not at all. Whatever. And he would talk, like, he would say, yeah, not to be an off topic, but he would tell me stuff like that. And I just like, I think maybe because I was so involved, thankfully, in my own life,

that I just never really had time to listen to all the shit he would say. And something that was about the day, dude, right, for that he, I remember on our first day, he told me that he had cancer. And I never looked into it, right? And I'm like, he had just like weird stuff like that. This he had mentioned he was taking provisional and I got like, whoa, please, why are you taking that? And a lot of our conversations were around

like him getting off of that because a lot of people use that, it's an upper. So it changes like mood, it changes, it makes you like really ramped up. So it's like people who take Adderall and make you less a totally different person. If you don't have like a sweet disorder, ProVigil is like taking Adderall when you don't have ADHC,

you know, it changes the chemical imbalances, and if you don't have any imbalances, it's just gonna make you kind of up and crazy and get a lot accomplished, but it makes you rant and do a whole bunch of other stuff. So it changes your personality. So for that, I was like, you do need a good off of this. And we were talked about it all the time, but he was the up late at night and saying he

was like, need this refill, whatever, late at night, he was like sending me pictures. And it was at the time, I want to say it was like pictures. And it was after time. I want to say it was near December, it was at the time where I was really busy. And he would ask me to come down and see him, I can drive down tonight. And I never knew why it was always like, had to be on his timeline, that makes sense now,

because obviously he had a really strict timeline with you. So it was always like on his and he was like get mad at me for like not wanting to have like sex scene conversations. Wow. Yeah. And he would sit out on like have you been to a place in San Francisco? Oh yeah. This is so gross Sarah. I don't even want to tell you this stuff, because he's so nasty. And now looking at pictures of him, I'm like, ooh, you're so unattractive. But he was like, didn't he make it,

pics of him in his hammock, like, playing there in the morning, drinking his coffee, like, but make it. Wow. Wow. Okay, I'm floored because, like like real talk would be just being honest. He wasn't like that wasn't a part of our relationship. And he we didn't like there was no sexting.

He was very like he kept it pretty conservative. He never sent me news. So but you know what's weird is I knew that there was a streak because of jokes that he would make about other people and I thought, you, there's some perversion in there, but I didn't, that, I didn't, that didn't allow me to like, wait later because it started to come out way later. But for some reason, he really kept it under lock and I'm also freaking out while you're telling me about the provigil and how it's an upper and how it alters for funalities.

I remember in times when he would be texting me randomly and it would be like all of a sudden it'd be crazy. It was like crazy. I would just get 100 texts literally one after the other after the other and it was just like woohoo and a bunch of yeah there were like different versions of him and I'd be like okay we are on a you know we're in a good mood today. Right, yeah. And I mean, I don't want to contribute all that to the drug, but I want to say that drug, I know people who take that, it's very hard drug to get. Then he was getting it.

And this is what he said. So take that with a green assault. But he said he was getting it from some doctor friend that he knew in Jamaica or some weird island. You ever seen anything about that? No. Jamaica. That's the first time I've heard of that honestly. Yeah. He said he liked it. He's had a vacation where he knew like this doctor who worked in a different, I mean obviously a different country somewhere I don't know where I don't remember where he said, but that where he was getting the drug and so it was like, okay, really hard drug to get. So at the time I was like, so you have a doctor friend who's prescribing you ProVigil. I mean, nothing he said really made sense, but

I never really questioned a lot of it, and I don't know if it was just because it was like not or just because I didn't care. Well, he told me he'd never been out of the country, but he told you he'd been on like a vacation or something? Yeah. So he would get mad, like when I would not respond or like send him something back. And it was just like this. I would just stop talking to him for days when he was sending something like that. And I just get pissed. I just like, what do I care? Because I'm like, it's this random guy that I'm seeing. It wasn't serious. So that's why a lot of this stuff was either here nor there for me. But yeah, so he was sent pictures of like like that and it kind of shocked me when it

first started happening because he seemed very emotionally unattached to me, but yet was wanting to get like the physical feel of it, that's what it felt like, and that's why I kind of distanced myself because the combination of felt like I was being used in a sense, flash, I was, you know, he was weird about all this religion stuff and to put your mind to ease, nothing physical ever happened between us, ever. So it wasn't that I think, I think maybe, it's not maybe, it felt as though that was where the relationship was going but I think want you realize hey it's not gonna go there and obviously he's engaged in or dating seriously and like trying to plan a life with someone for him it was probably like too much work

and tried to you know too much upkeep for him. So when he sent you that message were you you clearly like, what planet are you on? Yeah, well, yeah, at that point, I knew, I mean, at that point, everything was done in my mind. At that point, I knew he was seeing somebody else and knew he was blind to meet. Everything came together in one big, beautiful package where it was like, I know who he is, I know what he was doing, I don't want any part of it, get it out of my sight. So at that point, that's where I was like, he wanted to answer it and that's the thing. And he still wanted it. You know, a year later, September

and December, he still wanted to answer it. So can't tell me why, you know, why has engagement didn't work or why when he dated you, or when he got engaged, like he could not, he could not or would not answer any of it ever. It was just very back to, oh, you got the timeline wrong. It was always something about my timeline. Oh, it's not how it worked out, but we'll never go into detail. And that was it. I never knew too that he'd tell us into the podcast that he was engaged before you. So he's obviously got tons of issues. He's a predator that targets very specific girls

because we all have very, very distinct similarities in our lifestyle and our beliefs. So the type of churches we attend, our, you know, very, very distinct similarities in our lifestyle and our beliefs. Yeah. The churches we attend, our, you know, activities, our ambitions, like it's creepy. Yeah. If you look at like photos of all of us together, it's trippy. Yeah. We have very similar looks about us, our families are similar.

It's insane. I, we're also listening to the podcast. I have a history of mental health in my master's and I never, he was kind of exactly like your podcast that you know, it's one of those guys that has these personality disorders and it's day crave, control, and dominant. And it, I don't't know it's pretty disgusting another fun fast though I remember on one of our dates. They wanted to take a picture and he would not let me take a picture And I was like I'm not gonna post there anything and he never wanted me to have like a picture of him Which he was nude in the hammock

Right like looking back and like okay, you didn't want me to post it. But you probably knew I went post a new photo of him on Instagram, right? Yeah, right. Um, just like kind of the things he knew how to work the system, obviously. And he'd been like, how you said he paid for everything. It was the same. It was the same type of deal. Like when he would go out with my friends there and I, he would pay for everything. It was the same, it was the same type of deal. Like when he would go out with my

friends there and I, he would pay for everything. So he had these very same moves, you know, he did the same thing over and over. So looking back, I don't know what, why he would even venture out with me, like, why waste the time? That's how I look at it, not for me, but just for him, purposeful selfishness of him, like, why would he want to waste his time? You know when he had you and he was getting everything he wanted in that direction. And for me, it made me feel bad because I was to, you know, my man, I felt like he was using me at the very end for like the physical aspect. And now looking back, I kind of feel like that's what it was

until when I got that feeling and the beginning of like that relationship when he started sending me those pictures That's kind of a red flag Obviously and it should be for any you know self-respecting female that if you're not in a committed relationship with somebody or Your godgy female having a guy stand and ask for that stuff is, it's a red flag or it is me and it's impingent and everything are not going in the same direction as one would hope and so at that point I was like dang so he was trying to get something else from me and when I wasn't giving that to him, it ended. Yeah, so which now I look back and I'm like, well, it was a good thing for me because that's not,

you know, obviously it's not what I wanted. And it's a good thing. I mean, obviously for you clearly. But we all don't have to bull it. I mean, yeah, yeah, I did decide to reach out. After finding this out yesterday, I just, I don't know why I needed one final little thing just to kind of dehumanize him for me. But I realized, okay, I just kind don't know why I needed one final little thing just to kind of do to him and I

As him for me, but I realized okay, I just kind of put the switch from very very broken Human to predatory robot and now I I need to warn his current girlfriend and after that I'm obviously not going to bug her but I just I need to know that I'm Getting somebody now. Oh Oh yeah, you took it a London last month. Oh, they've been together since at least so on that the anniversary of our engagement which in January 20th, he posted in his stories that they were together. So they had been together for a little while. I mean, I'm guessing they were already saying

I love you, but with him, I mean, he'll do that three years. When? Because he was asking to come see me in September. Well, I'm going to guess this is seriously just a guess that he met this girl around November, December. I mean, it could have been earlier. It could have been later. But on January 20th, they were saying I love you. So who knows? Who knows? Yeah, so what was weird is on Lindsay,

one reached out to me Friday evening. Yeah, and she was like, hey, you're following this dude. And I was like, first of all, I was shocked. I'm like, I am. And so following him, I didn't know that. So I like went to the page, right? Like, saw a page. And then, Saturday after listening to the podcast, I went

back and I'm blocked from both of his Instagrams now. So what? Yeah. Saturday. Mm-hmm. Oh, did you might be stalking? No, we're following each other now. I will bet. I mean, I know for sure that he's watching my public Instagram. So he probably saw the work following each other now. Probably, he's doing his thing. He's so stupid, but he's so smart. And that's the crazy thing with these guys is that personality, that character type, they're very manipulative and destructive

and they're good at their game. But eventually they find someone who works with their sickness. And that may be the girl he's with and it may not be and maybe a girl 10 years later, but that's what I found out. And you see the same patterns. It goes to show how good he is at what he does,

because even with you, even though you saw the red flags, and eventually were like, goodbye. I mean, with your background and experience and understanding of psychology, he still was able to keep conversation with you. He still was able to get some of your time. That's how they work. Those guys are the greatest asset. I mean, they sell with people and getting what they want and being able to,

you know, manipulate the situation. And I mean, it makes sense that he's already on to the next. He has to constantly be, like, he has to constantly be conquering and being charged. And I just like, I keep seeing like, COVID, I know he's like on some type of stimulant, that just like keeps him going. There's just like, no way a normal human can function like that as those. And I can tell you, he doesn't have sleep issues. There's just like no way a normal human can function like that as well. And I can tell you he doesn't have sleep issues.

I mean, he would conke out like no problem. But he's taking the upper because he needs the constant simulation. Yeah. And I, what I, I mean, I'm convinced he's a good chance he's probably seeing a couple people right now while he's flying with other girls so funded because he just is insatiable he can't be satisfied totally I agree it's a good thing he reached out to the girl but at the same time that's all you can do right like you can't yeah you can't make her see you can't make anybody see anything especially when they're in it so very hard oh I know I'm curious what he his issues where he found with your church because every person we have talked to that stated him has mentioned that he has had issues

with their church or their pastor and I haven't really heard why. Yeah well for our conversations were always centered around and this matches perfectly with who he is was that the man is in charge right like the woman is to be like submissive to the man in the sense that like she runs the household and in the church setting in the church is very so to be protective and conservative and women kind of take the back seat in a church, and that their stay is not that it's not important, but it's not to be announced in like the church setting,

and that women should not be leading the church or speaking or have any type of authority or power in a church setting, which, okay, what are we in the zone ages? But what's very interesting is that on dating sites authority or power in a church setting, which, okay, what are we in the zone ages? But what's very interesting is that on dating sites and other people that, you meet when you start to get into like the, oh, what religion are you? Oh, what do you believe?

And there's always this one type of guy who is very conservative in this weird ancient, divico way, where they take everything from the Bible, word for word, and make it their own. It's like they create your own Bible. They take it out of context. And I remember telling him, like, that is not what the Bible says. The Bible does not say women have no voice in the church

and all this other stuff. And we would we know we would fight about it and then I remember saying oh so we should stone our children you know that's what the Bible said right so when you have a child you're gonna stone your child when they like you know back talk to you or something And I remember for the first time he had nothing to say about that. And he would try crawling over it in different areas but could never come back to that. It was the only issue he ever had. It was always centered around authority. It really wasn't a church and it really wasn't the Bible and it really wasn't anything else

besides he really believed that the man had the authority in every sense of the word and so anything that challenged that power or authority and I think when it came in the church since because if I remember on our first date, he had told me about like his upbringing and all these different things that had like led him to Christianity and like believe that things He believes but it sounded kind of messed up But you it sounded like he had a chuckle like a rough childhood Which leads people into religion which leads them into having some like very strict weird views and that's kind of how

He always seems it was anything that had anything to do with authority was not good Which matches him perfectly, right? He had issues obviously with women in authority. And so that was always his issue with me. And he didn't want me reading books like Joyce Meyer or anything that any type of female was relating God or the Bible or anything on a religion basis, he did not want me to read it. And would tell me other books to read

and would tell me other pastors to watch. And it was as long as I didn't read or believe what a female was saying. Same, he had me, I got rid of so many books that were in my room and he would replace them. He would give me other ones to read. It felt very oppressive. Yeah. One of the arguments that we got in, you would always quote that scripture. I think it's in Clendon and where Paul says

that women shouldn't speak in a church. And I argued back because I went to Spivol school and I said, Hey, if you look at the context of that, women also didn't know how to read back then. So it would make sense that Paul would say, women might not want to be teaching in the church because they can't read, you know, in general, in that culture, women weren't taught to read. But otherwise, that was never repeated. That wasn't, you know, a thing,

if you look at the cultural context of it, women can't teach what they're not reading. So they're not speaking because they can't read and properly, you know, teach. But you gave women the first of everything. Women were the first to see him after he, you know, was resurrected. Women were, women were approached first. Women were given a high position and he would always divert the conversation. Somehow I find this talking about something else. Yeah. All of a sudden and be like, oh, I guess we're over here now. That's over. No big deal. I'm all worked up and you're looking at me like, yeah.

Oh, why are you so upset? You know, calm down. Right. Yes. That was the same for sure. It was exactly like that, which I think ultimately is why he pays for things and does these things because he's in control. Once he pays, he's in control.

Then what can you give him to make up for the great blessing to you, to sow it on your wife's life? Why need and dining you and doing these trips? You must now give me everything that I need and meet my needs because I have done all this for you. And he's always had a problem with authority, which is funny, even growing up. I mean, there were arrests, and then I would hear stories

of the church that he went to in San Francisco. He talked about how he got asked to leave a small group, and he was telling me some story, well, what's funny is the leader of a small group he was in happened to be a woman. And she contacted the pastor or someone in a pastoral role in their church, complaining about him. He was so dismissive of it, and I just kind of let it go. But he constantly had a thorny problem.

Oh, that's gonna, that's gonna carry with him. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your business. You've got all the talks to all of you. Oh, God. Yeah. Being such a good sport and all of this craziness, because I'm sure you were like, wait, who? I know. Yeah, it was, I mean, it was just kind of funny and a weird thing, but it also puts my mind to ease and not only do I have the discernment and dating, but also just, it's solidified some of the things like you are saying, so like it, okay,

it makes a little bit of sense now. Now you don't have any questions, lean green, and you know, all just decides, it didn't affect me like it affected you. I just can imagine what you're going through and what you went through. It has to be horrible so I feel so bad for you. I'm also super thankful that you're out of it and I can see from it and it's just gonna make you like stronger and better able when you're out back dating, you know, to really

be aware of what you want and what you don't want. I'm just very thankful for what I was spared from. It's not like, you know, I'm so highly aware that there are women out there listening to this that didn't get out better either to fill in it or now they're left with, you know, picking up the pieces and then dead. And I mean, who knows how much debt you've actually in all that stuff. And I'm just, I have this huge, or I just, I get the gravity of what I was spared from.

And just to be allowed to go limp, you know, to have like a nine month glimpse into that was all I needed. I mean, yesterday was super up and down, but I spent some time kind of alone last night processing everything. And today is completely different. But at first, it was just really of all the crap that he pulled and everything like Why is this all the sudden sending me into like a hatred pale spend to know that I was on top of everything cheated on the whole time But it makes perfect sense and other people that have been in it are like yeah, what do you expect?

I just did my last rotation with that in voluntary psych ward and with that in voluntary psych ward and so we just worked with all the you know, skins, socials and all the stuff. But the main thing with all of them is that they're obsessed with religion. And so I've been listening to the podcast and like yeah, this makes perfect sense. So and it's not like a religion in the sense that we're we follow religion, but as in it's all there the God is all high and mighty. All they do is talk about religion and the Bible and even though some of the stuff that they say is true, they twist everything and it's really funny and we make that connection because we talk about it all the time is when you're on the floor within all these guys will do is just talk about religion.

How they're better than God, and they have it figured out. And you know, it's like these guys are the actual ones that have killed people, and their moms, and their sisters, and the women that they date, or some girl with blonde hair who pissed them off in the supermarket. You know, there's no connection, and they have no type of infancy and they have

the same type of, it's like the same patterns like the religion, the control, the bad childhood, the same like that and you know, unfortunately for hand people, pretty close in mind with all of that. So if anything, we'll just pray for them. And for future targets. Yeah. Yeah, he needs to for sure get on some meds and not like clovey gel meds, but and it takes a lot of stress and they do that because they take the drugs because it distracts them from being so down and dealing with all the other repressed stuff. And so making things to escape, which makes them into

this whole new thing and we have to see it play out. Lucky us. It's interesting that you had a previous marriage that sort of allowed you to see through it because one of the other girls that we spoke with that dated him before Sarah also had had a previous abusive relationship. So she was also able to see it more clearly, more quickly because having known the science and things like that, and I just think it's such a testament to the purpose of the podcast that we're trying to achieve, which is hopefully if enough people are educated with these signs and see them,

even though they seem mundane or they might seem simple, we know from seeing with so many survivors, it's all the same, it just looks different. It's a package different and delivered different, but it's all the same. It's the fact that you're saying that about where you work It's just really confirming for me. Yeah, you the first thing like I tell people is like if you feel something is wrong and you're got something is wrong And you don't let anything or anyone tell you anything different once you feel that for yourself Runs because, because it's interesting. And I think the hardest part is in dating and all these insecurities and

these guides, all this stuff that comes together and perfect harmony. It's hard to trust yourself because you know we're like yes they're good and we can't, we're not going to find that perfect guy. And so we start to go back and forth of, oh, I'll, you know, we'll compensate in this area and we'll compromise here. And you just don't listen to those internal triggers. And if I would have listened to mine years ago, I wouldn't have gone through everything I went through.

I was able to get out, able to get out safe and alive and went through years of recovery because of what I went through. And you know, I looked back and it's not like, oh, I am, I feel so bad that I didn't listen, but now I'm thankful because I have that. Everyone has that same day and just in a relationship and who has gotten out. They say, I knew something was wrong. I felt at some point and everyone has that and

That's where it is and that's that that's that same word. I could tell anyone and I've told him other I was in a support group after for a while because what I was in was really bad And I thought but I had I was a Christian and you make you know commitments and you compromise and you see the person for the better and then it just gets so far into it that it becomes normal. And it's like once you get into that point, if I'm man, you're doomed, it's going to take a lot. That's why all these people don't meet, right? The abuser keeps the bees keep going back to the abuser so it's like, yeah, that's silly. That's silly. That's silly. That's silly. It's there for a reason and you never question it just get out

Yeah, yeah, the gift is here Right. Yeah, thank you so much. It was really nice talking to you. I'm sorry I'm such weird circumstances One at all. Yeah, Sarah. Do you feel better? Oh, yeah, good. It was no. It was really yeah I can't imagine like anything else. I would want to know, because I'm moving on with life at this point. I'm moving back to Cally in three months, so try not to date the same guys off of hinge when I get up there, okay?

Yeah, okay. Maybe I'll take your message and be like, hey, it might be a good idea. Double screen process. Oh, I'm going to say we can vet them out. You too. Well, you guys have a great day and don't really call our texts anytime. All right. I'm going to have a good luck with all your exams. So thank you.

Yes. All right. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. As I've shared before, the outpouring of love, encouragement, and bravery of our listeners has been incredibly moving and inspiring. I'm so excited to share that the next season of this podcast will share survivor stories

of all kinds. Emotional abuse and coercive control happens in many different environments, cultures, religions, and relationships. And the next season we'll expose these insidious toxic relationships and the diversity of recovery that comes from such experiences. If you're interested in sharing your story, please go to somethingwaswrong.com

and click on the submissions tab. I am so excited to announce that we will be having our first ever something was wrong live. we will be having our first ever something was wrong live. This will be a podcast recording and meet and greet in Sacramento. This will be an intimate live podcast recording giving a behind-the-scenes look, Q&A, and discussion of all things something was wrong. Sarah, Alyssa, and myself will take the stage alongside a panel of experts in the fields of abuse and mental health.

We couldn't be more excited and we hope to see you there. So grab your weird podcast friend and join us at B Street Theatre in Midtown Sacramento. On Saturday, August 24th from 7 to 9 p.m. Head to somethingwaswrong.com slash events. I'm also extremely honored to share that on April 26th, something was wrong one podcast of the year at the IRIS Awards. The IRIS Awards are an annual recognition of individual achievements, collective creativity and impactful work on the internet.

I was incredibly shocked and amazed that my little self-produced podcast was nominated alongside other incredibly talented podcasters, including big names like Dex Shepard and Jen Hatmaker, like, what is life? I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you that nominated and voted for something was wrong. We couldn't have won without you. and voted for something was wrong. We couldn't have won without you. Here's a clip of my outer body experience of a speech. I did my best to edit out all of the swearing, but as you may have noticed this far into the podcast, I become a bit filter-less during times of excitement. Turns out, when you're convinced you're going to lose and you skipped dinner

and then drink five glasses of cupcake vineyard sparkling wine. You can get a little F-wordy. End of the winner of the Iris Award for Podcast of the Year is Tiffany Reese Something was wrong Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Woo! So I beat the guy from puffed, oh my God.

Holy, I'm so sorry I was not gonna scream. I was like, be a professional divni, oh my God. What was I thinking that would never happen? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I really want to thank my husband, Michael, who literally rescued me for my life and started

a new one with me. It's the best I could ever ask for, and for my kids who put up with me ignoring them on Sundays so I could edit this podcast. Then I'm going to keep buying you guilt, don't let sin. I hope you're fine with that. And Wendy, you'll forgive me for those six months where I was just like dead on Sundays? And you had to rely on your dad

and we know what that means. Okay. I wanna thank, is there gonna be like a band that plays? We're gonna start singing. Okay. Okay. Okay. I wanna thank.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Holy f**k. I wanna thank Sarah that the podcast is about. I want to thank Holy I want to thank Sarah that the podcast is about she's amazing and she inspires me every day to share more about myself And my friend Alyssa who introduced us and sheard me on and yeah for that friend who is in your Group text that is pumping you up every day your group text that is pumping you up every day.

You are the best kind of women, and those are the people I wanna be friends with. So if you're like that, come find me, we'll be best friends. Oh my God, I wanna thank Jill Krause for contacting me and believing me before an episode was even out, and was like, I believe in you and I wanna support this project.

And thank you to Liz Porter, who's also here for sponsoring the podcast and just being such an amazing support system. The reason I wanted to tell this story is that one in three high school girls in the United States experience either physical or sexual violence or both. An emotional abuse is even more common and difficult to measure. Women ages 18 to 24 experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence and psychological abuse. I just wrote a note to myself, you are okay at the bottom of the snow card.

Oh my God, I'm up here so long, I'm so sorry. I took 10 years to get here, that was so like, you're fine. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my god. Okay, you guys 11 months ago, I just, life was not good. 2018 was a- And Mercury was in retrograde.

Like so many times it was insane. And I fell into the deepest depression. And I thought I was a failure. And I thought I literally said to my husband, what if I never feel successful again? Well, you imposter syndrome because I have a trophy now. Okay. And making this story help bring me back to life. And I can't be here without all of you

because you are an amazing community of empowering women and I am so lucky to know each and every one of you. And if I don't know you yet, like, we're dancing, you're not even prepared for what I look like on the dance floor, first of all. Okay, okay, I want to thank Laura and Carrie. You're amazing. Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for validating us. And the last thing I want to say is just if you're sitting on an idea and you're thinking I want to do that. But I don't know how you'll figure it out. That's what YouTube is for. I didn't know anything. I just want podcasts of the year off YouTube video tutorials for free, y'all.

Like you can do anything. So please do that thing. And you will be here next year. So do that thing. Something was wrong is written, recorded, edited, and produced by me, Tiffany Rees. All of the music this season is by the band, Ladrass. A special thank you to Sarah for family and friends for participating in this series. Check out Sarah's personal blog, Space and Purpose linked in the show notes. Thank you to Alyssa and Ryan Doyle for their time, support and hype. Shout out to my husband

Michael and our three amazing children for cheering me on every stuff for the way. Subscribe now and follow the hashtag, something was wrong called on Instagram. If you like something was wrong and you're not a troll, please consider leaving a five-star review and sharing the podcast with anyone who has a Mac. If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violet and safe. You don't know me well You don't know me well Thinking of me, you don't know me well You think of me, you don't know me well Let it all, let it all, let it all

Let it all, let it all, let it all I'm a leader, I'm a traitor I'm a leader, I'm a traitor I'm a leader, I'm a traitor You, me, you, I'm a traitor You, me, you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hey, Prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.

before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.