Something Was Wrong - S1 E3: Maple & Finn

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast, Killer Psychy Daily, I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the cold-butter killers you read about in the news. Listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast killer psyche daily in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. This podcast is intended for mature audiences and could be triggering to some. Please use

discretion when listening. Hey, it's Tiffany. I wanted to give an extra trigger warning for today's episode because it deals with the abuse of animals. I will be avoiding as much extra detail as possible. Please use discretion when listening. Thank you so much. Psychotherapist Don Drucker has worked with a wide spectrum of clients, including individuals of all age groups as well as individuals with personality disorders. In an article she wrote for PETA, Don shared that she has found that there is a correlation between individuals who harm or kill animals and sociopathic behavior. Dawn writes,

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, is published by the American Psychiatric Association, and it is used as a tool by mental health workers to diagnose client's psychological problems based on their symptoms and behavior. Diagnosing clients is necessary for the development of their treatment goals. Unfortunately, there are limited diagnostic tools to confirm the link between cruelty to animals and sociopathic behavior, but sociopathic behavior and the sociopathic personality type are indeed prevalent in our society. For example, serial killers such as Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Richard Ramirez, as well as countless other serial killers,

murderers, and rapists all abused animals as children. And that behavior escalated into harming humans. The sociopathic personality first develops in early childhood or adolescence, and is classified under the diagnosis of conduct disorder, which then develops into anti-social personality disorder. One of the early signs of conduct disorder is often cruelty to animals. An individual who is able to engage in cruelty to animals. An individual who is able to engage in cruelty to animals appears to have no conscience, and thus no remorse for his or her behavior. The act of cruelty to animals results from an apparent need for power and control, and this need is accompanied by a lack of empathy. Animals

are targeted, especially helpless and defenseless ones, because the perpetrator does not recognize or care that they have feelings and can experience not just physical pain, but also emotional pain. I'm Tiffany Reese and this is something was wrong. You think you know me, you don't know me, you know me, you know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know night, I don't know me. My fiance started to call me his little Frenchie, his little French bulldog. Here's Sarah. He would say, I didn't realize I got myself a French bulldog and what he meant by that was kind of delicate, delicate to the environment, sensitive. When did you get rid of your dog?

March 16th. Not that anybody's counting. I found a home for her because she, at first liked him, they got along really well, but over time, I noticed in jealousy and I thought, okay, you always trust the dogs in stinks, like they can, they can read people. But I would watch how his dog treated him

and his dog loved the worship the grounding walk done. And so I thought, okay, I took that into account and then as time went on, my dog, Maple, hated him. She didn't hate anybody, but she was always a little bit timid around men. She just, she would allow my dad to pet her. She would tolerate other guys, but she didn't seek them out. She would go to women. So I thought, oh, maybe she'd been abused or something in the past. So, of course, enter my my fiance who's very tall. He's a broad guy and he's got a male dog with him. And wearing close quarters over the weekend. And this for months before he was, you know, in the picture, this was her territory. She was alpha dog. So of course, he comes in and rocks the boat. She's not going to like it. And that's kind of how I took it. Bulldog people. I have a lot of friends

and people at work that are very familiar with that breed and they would say this breed is very dominant and they're very loyal, they're a one person dog. They'll have other people they are fond of but they latch on to one person. So you've had all this one-on-one time with her, bonded with her and plus you adopted her. So she's even more clingy to just you.

But it would get to the point where instead of getting better, it started getting worse. And according to my fiancee, he was watching all these dog whisper videos and coming in. And I thought, oh my gosh, how sweet of you trying to win my dog over doing all this research. He'd send me all this info. And he'd be like, okay, I bought this thing. Here's what we're going to do. Here's the game plan. And I'm like, oh gosh, I wish I cared as much.

I just assumed she'll get over it. And I wasn't really working toward it. So we would would trial these things and it got worse and worse and worse until she started snipping at him and biting in she would sc... every time I was out of the room with her in the bathroom like getting ready or outside of my room and he was in my room with her she would screech and bulldogs you know make the weirdest sounds and so I would come running in and he'd be on the other side of the room laughing and looking me like I don't know what I did. I literally just looked at her or I walked by or something or I you know whatever and I just go man what on earth and it got worse and worse and worse. So I thought about it and thought about it. I didn't tell anybody really about it. I just kind of mentioned

a few times like I could find her a home and when I I got serious about it, he was like, are you sure you want to do this? And I finally, yep, I'm making the decision. And I found the perfect family. They had apparently wanted her before I got her, before I had adopted her a year earlier. They'd heard that she was available, went to go get her, found out she was already gone. So it just, it seemed like fate.

You know, she ended up back with this very same family. And she loved them, which really helped me sleep at night, because I was scared. I loved her a lot, and she really latched onto me, so what I didn't want to happen was to send her with someone and have her freak out, you know. Walked with this lady right to her car,

got right in, like, no problem. And I thought, thank you, God, I needed to see that. And she did great. Well, back up a little bit, and my back in late November had been on our porch. We lived on the second story of this craftsman house downtown and she'd been stretching ready for a run. My fiance had been taking both of our dogs out for a potty walk and was at the base of the stairs, not knowing that my roommate was up on the porch stretching. And my roommate looks down and sees him.

Both the ogs are several feet away from him at the very end of the leash. And out of nowhere unprovoked, he kicked my dog. Like rear, left or right, I can't remember, like hind area kind of in her hip. And actually, she's at tank. She weighs 30 pounds. She's a little 30-pound tank. Launched her into the air. Her body actually lifted and got shoved forward and she screamed and just the heads up the audio quality here isn't the best. Here's Sarah's roommate at the time Karen. I was just walking around the corner and I thought he was walking back with his dog. He kind of like coming around the corner.

He had both dogs with him and he was just walking straight to the house. And you literally just, I really thought it was my first time she turned my face and she turned my shirt and my face. She was everywhere, and I could just get a kill. And I was like a moment where I literally just went up 6'7, like I didn't feel comfortable

like just running in the household and becoming one that I just had a feeling comfortable, like, you're stuck in a household and you're probably one that I just need. And so, I actually can count on my cops and I'll say, and really, really, that's my room, I'm like, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to leave you to, but I was like, this is terrible. So, I just don't think it's worth nothing. So, I ended up killing her, and he said, next day, I waited until she was like last year, told her back to the day and I told her, like, when I saw, she told me that she was home

today and she found out on the later afternoon, I really, really, really, went down and she actually had just left her and needed anything to get in the moment. She told me days later because she, in the moment, he's here for the weekend. She didn't know what to do and it was intimidated. So days later, it was like, hey, I don't know how to tell you this, but I, you know, he kicked her dog and I just went, I'm, like your brain doesn't know what to do with that information at that moment because nothing, nothing affirms that. Nothing I had ever seen showed,

there were no red flags, no aggression from him at that point. This is back at the beginning. So did you think she's full of shit? No, that's the other thing is I trust this girl. I trust her 100%. So I knew that she'd seen it, but in my mind, I made up reasons and excuses. Like maybe he was just trying to play and it turned into a

movie. Maybe it was a missaw and both are true. Like maybe it was a momentary outburst. Like there's so many things in my head that I just I didn't know what to do with it. So I I literally shelt it. I didn't know what to do. And so I didn't ask him. No, I didn't confront him about it. And thinking back, now that I look at it clearly, there was a teeny little part of me that knew that he would explain it away. And I almost didn't want it to get explained away, because I knew there was something wrong about it. But I kind of let it go. And then over time, I noticed that with his dog, he would play this game. He was always kind of a rough house. When we were in Texas at his family's house, they had these huge new fees. They were like big bear dogs. And he would wrestle them on the ground.

And he was used to being raised with big dogs. And they would yell for everyone so well. And I would be like, oh, but also I think I'm a girl. I'm really gentle. Like I'm not going to rough house with a dog. But he was always more aggressive with animals than I felt comfortable with. But I kind of let it go.

Because again, I would think I'm the sensitive one. He's not. So with his dog, he would play this gamer when he was asleep. He would plug his nose holes and wait for him to like, wake up in a panic. And he'd just call laugh. And I'd be like, that's not, that's kind of mean. That's not okay. And he'd be like, what?

He's fine. Look at him. And he'd just kind of have his sixth sense of humor. Or the dog would walk by and be sat on the couch. And just for fun, he'd like kind of pop him in the rear just enough to make his hind legs like lift and make the dog kind of look back at him like what'd you just do what just happened and I'd be like babe don't bug him and it wouldn't outright hurt him but it wasn't necessary it just kind of seemed like he was bullying him a little bit almost asserting dominance but with this story that he'd pitched me of

how he found this dog that he found him in the corner in a shelter, abused, like, just beaten and growling and snarling and biting, and he nursed him back to health, and he kind of beat the aggression out of him sort of, and like, establish dominance, and now this dog loves him. I had this whole story in my head, and I thought, don't question his methods. Obviously, he has created this dog to be what he is now, the sweetest dog to walk the earth. So I didn't question him and come to find out later, that's not how I got the dog. None of that was true, absolutely none of it. But I found out that he was, I mean, he did show signs of aggression. So later I realized that he was terrorizing my dog and that's why she hated him. Yeah, hindsight, man.

Yeah, but I mean, she, I talked to her new owner and she had taken her to the vet because she'd started limping. This was June or July, late June or late July after we've broken up and everything was done. Took her to the vet and vet's first question was has this dog been abused? She looks like she's been kicked.

And the lady said, well, I have my suspicions. So let me tell you. And according to, I talked to this lay on the phone. She's a Christian. I had never met her before. She took my dog. And she said, she's older. She's so sweet.

She was honey, let me tell you. That day I met you, I instantly loved you. You endeared yourself to me. And I knew something's wrong. There's a reason. You? No, with my relationships. Something is wrong. Because she said. Did you eat him too? No. Okay. Never met him. Okay. But she said I could tell that you were taking a huge step and that you dearly loved this dog and she loved you and there was something wrong

with why you were choosing to like everyone. She argued with me when I tried to send her with her. She kind of gram-modged me. She sat down and she goes, now, are you sure this is what you want? Because I am not taking this dog from you because I can tell them when she love her. You know, unless I know for sure that you've thought this through. And I was like, I'm a grown-up. Like, don't mother me through? Yes, I know it's gonna be hard, but take her while I'm feeling strong. Yeah. And come to find out she had a ruptured ligament. And I have the same side that my roommate had seen her get kicked. But the other caveat to that was the vet said she also has hip dysplasia, which is common in those

breathes. A little bit early for her, she's a little too young for it, so could have been brought on by trauma, but it's not evidence enough for me to file an animal abuse report or something that could, you know, specifically pin that on him. So, as of now, I haven't done anything about that. If you're into true crime, the Generation Y podcast is essential listening. We started this podcast over 10 years ago to dissect some of the craziest and most notable murders, crimes, and conspiracy theories together, and we'd love for you to join us. Generation Y is one of the longest running true crime podcasts out there and we are still at it, unraveling a new case every week.

We break down infamous cases like the Evil Genius Bank robbery and lesser known cases like the case of Kimberly Rico. Did she actually kill her husband after they took part in a murder mystery game? We cover every angle, breaking down theories, diving deep into forensic evidence, and interviewing those close to the case. And with over 450 episodes, there's a little something for every true crime listener. Follow the Generation Y Podcasts on Amazon Music, or every Listen to Podcasts, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app.

Here's Sarah's sister, Emily. He was really aggressive towards Finn and it made me so angry because I loved him. I was a best-wrestling. I let that dog lay in my room on my bed, on my red couch that it duried for made white. I loved that dog and it was such a calm, obedient dog. It required no discipline until I realized the reason it is so calm and obedient is because it's gotten so much discipline I realized watching him interact with the dog whether he was trying to get it to obey him or he was trying to show off How much fun he can have with it. It was always abusive. He was you would slap its real and so hard

But he would do it and like you would like mask it to look like it was playful So you know he'd smack it, but he'd be like ooh Sakes you you tip that a little bit hard But he was doing it in a playful way so you don't realize right after that That was abuse because you're like we're just playing with the dog, you know You'll think much of it Um, if you would do things like that or he would like pick up the dog and cradle it like a baby And then fucking cover it snow like pick up the dog and cradle it like a baby and then freaking cover it's nose like he grabbed the

The roots it's not strong with it called it snosh You grab it and cover all of its breathing Orpheus and wait and wait and wait until the dog would start to scramble his body was moving like trying to Get out of it. He'd hold it even longer Like okay, he's going to come on Or and then finally the dog would start to whimper like you did eating air and he'd let go and he'd laugh and then we'd be like Oh my gosh, like that's not funny don't don't do that me who is obsessed with that dog made me angry and I'm like Yeah, like they come to me where the spider you going that to him right now and that that what he did excuse was obviously Obviously, no matter how far the lucky comes, I thought to be worse, stupid dog, and I'd proceed to hit it, but really, really hard.

I'd like to think he might not come on it, and I'm like, gosh, what the fuck did you do to it when he was watching? When you weren't trying to be funny, and you weren't trying to please a cop, what did he do that dog? I watched how rough he was with her, the dog, and his dog. Here's Sarah's parents, Greg and Rose. And it was another head tilt, like, and I thought, but his dog loves him and he said he got it from a rescue. And at that point, I thought I had no reason to believe that would have been a lie. Like, who would make that up? I didn't even suspect that. I just thought that dog was amazing. We all loved his dog.

And he got it as a rescue supposedly and that it was timid when he got it and I thought you have turned this dog into an amazing love. So whatever you're doing, it can't be abusive. But he would take it and he'd roll around with it until it would cry. What kind of dog was it? It was a mix. It was a border collie. Not a border collie, but she dog. It looked like a long-haired border collie. Good-sized dog. It's like medium sized dog. Medium big. Yeah. And I thought, well, you know, it's a guy's best, and I don't really understand

the physical kind of pushing it around a little bit, but the dog would come right back and come to him and lick him and stuff. And he'd roll, and he'd hold its head in a way that was restrictive and kind of roll around on the ground and I thought, oh, and my aunt, she said, I don't like the way he treats that dog. Well, I didn't have a lot of respect for her opinions because she was very critical. And I thought, yeah, whatever, you know, I just painted attention to that. But looking back, I saw the way he treated that dog.

And I mean, Sarah and I went to check on it after they were apart. Sarah, we had to go and get some stuff out of the house. And she did text him and say the dog is alone it's cold out I know you're not around can I go in and open up the garage door something yeah sure and we went over there and it had no water and it was just like he's just cool and then to know that he kicked her dog who's a very sensitive little skittish thing anyway, and sometimes he would hold her upside down, and that's not the type of dog that you call to like that.

And he would hold her like this and pretend to really love it, and find out later that he kicked it so hard that, you know, it harmed her hip, to where she needed surgery, we think, you can't prove it. Ah, gosh, he just, he's like, he flipped so much. Here's Emily. In the beginning, I said how much I hated my mom, and I thought I hated her so much. And I said that around him, and he would be, oh, how can you hate me to look at her and eat like poor woman?

So I'm loud and tired with her. Oh, I'm just looking at her and he'd like poor woman, so I'm loud and tired with that. Oh, and just looking at her and be like, I love my boy. She'd be like, see? Emily, like, you're the only one. It's just you, and I'd be like, oh, no, no, I didn't like it before. I really don't like you. So that's how he started out with people with me, those labels, plus I think people with the goddess, I love my boy.

And then, as time went on, it a lot of the same stuff we love maple too Don't worry. We'll see how it has to get rid of our maple will be gone and you and he would kind of like Like, you know, so lonely say how yeah, we're talking about options. I'm not getting a maple Um, and then at one point, what said it was gone? He did kind of believe it and say Because I want to do something He knew that Emily didn't like her dog. She just didn't like her. The dog had a quirky personality and Emily just didn't like the slabberiness of it, the snorring, the kind of destructive and things that she just was irritated by it.

And he knew this. One time when Sarah was here with the dog, Sarah had went on a walk or was in her room or was in another room or something and he leaned forward as if to say you and me here and said when we get married that's one of the first things to go. Is that dog? And that was another one of those I thought thought, yeah, right. You're just, you know, being friendly with Emily. It didn't click for me to even take Sarah aside and tell her, did you know this? When I told her later, she's mom, why didn't you tell me that?

And I thought, I don't even know that I believed him. It was so bizarre. He just, there were so many of those things that happened that you just go, oh my goodness. Well, and with the the dog the other thing that didn't make sense is at the very beginning he talked a lot about buying her another one. Well come to find he didn't really like the dog. Why would you who's trying to save money by a dog that's anywhere from two to five grand?

Easily, brand new puppy. And of course she's like oh because she happens to adore that breed. So at Friendsgiving, here's she's like, oh, because she happens to adore that breed. So at Friendsgiving, here's Sarah's friend, Alyssa. Somehow when we were all talking to him, he brought up his dog. And I was like, oh my gosh, we really want to get a dog, our daughter loves dogs. And like, we're not ready to have another baby. So like, we want to get her a dog and he was like I'm really want to find a family for my dog because we I like I live in the city I have a small

apartment or something like that and he was like showing his pictures of his dog which was like so cute and he's like I would love to give my dog to you guys and Ryan and I were like I would love to give my dog to you guys and Ryan and I were like What like we just met each other 40 minutes ago like And so he's like, you know, he's been or she I can't remember his dog was a bird girl Whatever my dogs like been super well trained And I just like I just don't have time to like play with him because because I work so much and I would really love for my dog to have a family to play with. So it's like totally made sense.

And Sarah was kind of interesting. She was super caught off guard by that. She was like, what? Are you serious? You would do that? He's like, yeah, of course. That would be perfect. And she's like, okay. All right, so it was just a little bit like okay, like yeah, yeah, we want your dog I guess so she had never hurt it didn't sound like she expected that he was actually looking for a home for the No, not at all. It all seemed like a very new information for her

So we just left it with like we have to check with our landlords and you for her. So we just left it with like we have to check with our landlords and you will all get back to you I guess. So like a week or so later Sarah texted me about the dog situation and she basically said I'm basically asking you to not take the dog because you know God forbid that we break up but I would never want to put any one any one of us in an awkward position, like with a dog, you know. And I was like, 100%. Like, my friendship with you is way more important

than this weird potential dog situation. So like, of course, you know, all done. Yeah. But I remember reading that and thinking back to friends giving and how everything with them was almost like a done deal. They may as well have been engaged, even though they weren't. Like, it was just they were actively talking about it with each other in front of their friends. And so, when she sent me that text, I was a little bit like, you're being realistic, that's good. Like, you're not engaged engaged yet. So it's good that you're thinking that through. But from the way it came across the other night

it was almost like, I don't know if you still have this something like something deep down knows that this might not work. But I didn't say that to her, but it kind of showed me like where she was her fault. I felt like, maybe she did. She felt like she didn't see it. How could she not have seen it?

It could have been like a monk in his territory kind of a thing. Like it's the one thing that one was making his life a little bit harder and it was the competitor to her attention. You can see that kick being a solution to a lot of things. It probably wasn't even the only kick. Honestly, if you do it once, how many other times did he do it? To be able to do that, what kind of disconnect did he have in his head? To be able to inflict that pain on purpose to an animal that is supposedly loved by the woman you are in love with? Like, the brain dysfunction you've got to have to see not

being okay in it. Oh, I just, that's disgusting. I think that's just your process. According to the prestigious Mayo Clinic, anti-social personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with anti-social personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate, or treat others harshly

or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their behavior. Individuals with anti-social personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently, or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. Because of these characteristics, people with this disorder typically can't fulfill responsibilities related to family, work, or school. Anti-social personality disorder signs and symptoms may include a disregard for right and wrong, persistent lying or deceit to exploit others,

being callous, cynical cynical and disrespectful to others. Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure, arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated, reoccurring problems with the law including criminal behavior, repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty. Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead. Hostility, agitation, aggression or violence. Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others. A necessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others.

Poor or abusive relationships. Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them. Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations. Adults with anti-social personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Signs and symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, persistent behavioral problems such as aggression towards people and animals, destruction of property, deceitfulness, theft, serious violation of rules. Next time on something was wrong. No woman knows this much about another man's emotions and feelings and heart desires.

If she's not been romantic with him in some way. I thought, is Brian okay with this? This woman has made a she-hunt with伏业纪 with the war. And she is a dear with the boys' shares. And then she's also like a baby, getting through a big wedge. And getting her out in the middle of the day, like by herself. We have been blown away by your response, reviews, and shares of this podcast. Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much it means.

If you would like to share your story with us, you can now call us and leave voicemail. You can remain anonymous or share your first name and location. Our number is 1-323-379-5678. This number will also be listed in the show notes. Your message might be shared on a future episode. Thank you. Something was wrong is written, recorded, edited, and produced by me Tiffany Reese.

A heartfelt thank you to Sarah, her family, and friends for participating in this series. Check out Sarah's personal blog, Space and Purpose, via the show notes. All of the music this season comes from the band Gladracks. Special thank you to Alyssa Doyle for her hyped support and story editing assistance. Shout out to my husband Michael and our three children for encouraging me every step of the way. If you're enjoying something was wrong, please subscribe now and consider sharing with your friends and family. And like literally anybody you've ever met, just that'd be great, thank you. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship,

please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-Safe. Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.