Something Was Wrong - S13 E19: [Arya] Heart Drops to Stomach

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

*Content Warning: This episode includes descriptions of gaslighting, emotional and physical violence and workplace abuse. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources Follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram @SomethingWasWrongPodcastSWW’s theme music – U think U by Glad Rags, from their album Wonder Under. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast, Killer Psychy Daily, I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the cold-butter killers you read about in the news. Listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast Killer Psychy Daily in the Amazon Music exclusive podcast killer psyche daily in the Amazon music app. Download the app today. Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences. Episodes discuss topics that can be upsetting such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence,

suicide, and murder. If you're in need of support, please visit somethingwaswrong.com slash resources for a list of nonprofit organizations that can help. I'm not a therapist or a doctor. Most names have been changed for anonymity purposes. Opinions expressed by guests on the show are their own and do not necessarily represent my views. Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes.

Thank you so much for listening. We don't know anybody until you turn to turn to one. Turn to one. Hi, my name is Aria. I am sharing my story with you all today. I think it's important for women out there to understand that sometimes we can find ourselves in really difficult situations in moments when we least expect it with people who we least expect bad behavior from. And I think it's important for everyone out there to hear how you can be manipulated and

pulled into situations that can essentially be set out to wreck your life, but you can also persevere in the end. So I met Jim in mid-September of 2019. I was introduced to him by a friend who also happened to be a member of a university police department. And Jim was a very high ranking officer within the police department. The school that I worked for had eight regional campuses throughout the state. I was introduced to him via an email. He was planning to attend an event at my school.

It was a gun violence symposium and being in his position as a law enforcement officer, he wanted to come to this symposium via email. We were introduced and I responded to the email eager to meet him. I had heard his name in the past and had heard really wonderful things about him. And so I was excited to meet him in person. I did heard his name in the past and had heard really wonderful things about him. And so I was excited to meet him in person. I did not know this at the time, but shortly after I reached out to him, he reached out to our mutual friend and said that he would really love to have an opportunity to meet me and take me out for some coffee or, you know, to grab a beverage sometime.

Our mutual friend contacted me and asked if I would be open to it. I was a little taken back because I hadn't dated anyone in about a year. I was flattered, but I never really saw myself dating a police officer. But because we did have this mutual friend and it was someone that I fully trusted, I believed that this was probably a really good guy. He was in a really high ranking law enforcement position. I thought, you must be a pretty decent guy, so I looked him up, found a lot of information

about him online. He really appeared to be a wonderful man, very much a civil servant, active in his community. He was very much the poster child for the PD department within the university. There was praise about him all over and so I agreed that we could meet sometime. It was a couple of days later that we held this gents symposium at my school and he showed up to the event. And I saw him there. I remember seeing him there when he first walked in and thinking, oh, he's cute in person. He was dressed really nicely.

He had a nice suit. But I really didn't want him to know that I was kind of like checking for him like that. So I tried to play it cool and I really didn't pay him any attention. I was sitting in an area of the room during this symposium where he actually happened to be a couple of rows up behind me and at some point a little more than halfway through this symposium he left. And he ended up sending me a message shortly thereafter words and said that he was sorry he had to leave but if I had time later in the day he would come back and we could chat for a while. So at the end of the day, he came back to my school

and I was tearing down from this event. We stayed after work for almost two hours that evening. And we just talked and we shared a lot about our lives and what we were looking for and relationship and it seemed very natural and candid. I did not have any reason to question that anything that he was saying to me was not true. He was going to be back in the town that I lived in the very next day and he said that he wanted to

see me again. We had arranged a time to meet up the next morning for a little bit and chat. Is he in a position of power over you in any way because you worked in similar places. He was in a position of power period, not necessarily over me, but because of his position, he was in this high ranking position of power that covered all of the university and which we worked at. So there's the main campus, but then there are the eight regional campuses. And he supported all of those. I never felt like he had authority over me. I mean, technically, yes, he was an officer,

but I worked for a specific school within the campus. And he worked for the police department within the campus. As time went on, he spent a lot of time down here where I lived at, he traveled throughout the state for his job. And he had a lot of responsibility. It was a really big job. As a result of that, I knew going into this relationship that my time with him would probably be limited because he lived about an hour north of me also with the requirement of traveling all around the state. I knew that our time would be limited together. He was very funny and he was charming and he was sweet and he put in a ton of effort. It was not uncommon for him to call

me up and say, Hey, if you're not in a meeting, can you come outside for a few minutes and I would sit in his car and we would talk for a little bit or he was always sending me text messages almost daily and saying, I hope you have a good day. Very, very sweet and charismatic. It was the very first time that he met my son. He knew that my son and I, we'd had some struggles over the years.

And our mutual friend had actually disclosed some of those issues to him prior to us meeting. And he was very, very interested and seemingly invested in wanting to get to know my son. I think he thought because of his position and law enforcement and being a guy in general that he could build a bond with my son. There was a day where we were scheduled to meet up for a little bit after work one day, and I had an emergency situation where I had to go pick up my son from school.

This was the first time he ever came over to my home. He knew I was going through a lot with my son that day, and he asked me specifically, can I come by and meet your son? I was a little hesitant at first, but I thought his intentions are good. My friend would never set me up with someone who, he felt like his intentions were not good. I was really actually thankful. It was an emotional day for me going through a lot with my child, and then he showed up here at the house,

and he talked to my son for a little bit, and he shook his hand. We went outside and talked for a few minutes. I was a little emotional that day and he gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead and said things are going to be okay. He assured me that he wanted to be around and that he would be a support system for both myself and my son. That for me right from the very beginning started to reel me in because it's been a long journey

for my child and I to have someone recognize that and then also be willing to be a support for us. It meant a lot to me. His dad hasn't really been physically in his life a whole lot over the years. So to have this man swoop in and give me that reassurance that, hey, this is real. And I want to be here for you and support you.

It absolutely meant everything to me. We're only a couple of weeks in till really getting to know each other. But I noticed things were pretty good. Like, we talked every single day. Every chance he was down on my campus, he would come by. He would see me. He would come have lunch with me and sit in my office some days. And we would just chat and eat lunch together.

It was really really nice to have him around. I hadn't been in a relationship in so long and so it was really refreshing for me. About mid-October through the end of November, things started to feel a little bit shaky. I really felt like Jim was being distant with me. I was also cognizant of the fact that, you know, he is in this high-ranking law enforcement position. It's requiring a lot of him to be traveling around the state all the time. He's probably exhausted. He was very rarely around on the weekends because he too had a daughter who was a teenager. because he too had a daughter who was a teenager. He would spend the majority of his weekends with his daughter who lived in the northern part of the state. He was there pretty much every weekend

and he had previously been the chief at the regional campus that was also in that northern part of the state. So that's primarily where the majority of his friends and family lived. Our relationship was still very, very new. I never felt like I had a place to complain about him not being here with me on the weekends.

He had full custody of his daughter as well. We had had conversations in the past about how he was able to have such a high-profile position and be able to travel around the state, having had custody of his daughter, and he had expressed to me that his grandmother and his aunts shared responsibility in caring for his daughter through the week. I never thought anything of it. However, between the mid-part of October through the end of November, Jim became really distant. Even though we would talk regularly, I really didn't see him not much.

He was chalking it up to being really busy and being overwhelmed. I didn't want to complain because I knew he had a demanding job. And there was a lot that was expected of him. Around the end of November, he contacted me one evening and he was very emotional. He actually at one point began to cry

and he'd admitted that he was struggling trying to balance his personal life with his feelings for me and his professional life. There was just so much going on and he apologized for having been distant over the past month. He continued to assure me that he had feelings for me that he wanted to be with me and that he was really going to make a concerted effort to try to change some things around. There was one particular evening where I had been asking him what is going on with you. Well, I haven't I heard much from you. He had told me that his sister had had a baby. And he was staying up closer to his home at that time, which was an hour north from

where I lived. He began to send me pictures of this baby. And I remember looking at the pictures of the baby, I remember thinking to myself, wow, those are some really strong family genes because the baby looked just like him. But again, who am I to question it? Maybe his sister looks just like him. So I never really thought twice about it. It was more a matter of you're giving me baby fever. We started to become really really close in this first part of December and that's when he told me that he loved me for the first time and we began to have those more serious conversations about what the future looked like and marriage and children and things of that nature. Throughout the months of December, January,

February, the first half of March, 2020, things between Gemini were going really great. He was very consistent. He was communicating better with me. He was down here in the town where I live at more regularly. We were having a lot of conversations about eventually living together, marriage, family. We had conversations several times about if we wanted to have a baby,

and also with him becoming more involved with my son. Those were really serious conversations that we were having, and we became very, very close. I felt very connected to him. In my mind, I felt like I had found my soulmate. He was conveying the same to me. We had several conversations about him taking me up to the northern part of the state where he resided at to meet his family and meet his daughter.

And then as we all know, COVID hit in mid-March of 2020. And an unforeseen illness that I ended up having really bought Jim a lot of time with me. that I ended up having really bought Jim a lot of time with me. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of Wondery's podcast American scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our newest series, we look at the kids for cash scandal, a story about corruption inside America's system of juvenile justice. In Northeastern Pennsylvania, residents had

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Follow American scandal wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wonder App. I was scheduled to have a surgery on my foot in the early part of April and Jim was supposed to take the day off of work. I hadn't actually not seen him for a couple of weeks from the time that COVID hit leading up to my surgery. Everything was on a shutdown and we're all working from home at that point. Part of the reason why he was saying that he didn't want to be around was because he knew I was going to be having this surgery coming up.

And he had to still travel around for his job. He didn't want to expose me to COVID knowing I was supposed to be having this surgery coming up. However, he did tell me that he was going to take that day off of work so that he could take me to my scheduled appointment so that he could be there with me that evening, and at least be with me through the first 24 hours after the surgery took place. We kind of had a couple of conversations leading up to this because I was feeling a little uneasy. He had been distant again during those couple of weeks, but he assured me, I'll be there

for you, I'll be there for the surgery. Then the day before my surgery, he informed me that he was not going to be able to stay here with me. Something came up with work and that he was going to have to leave and not be able to be down here. I had to make arrangements less than 24 hours before my surgery to have my daughter instead come and pick me up, stay with me and take care of me. Not quite a week later, he came down and he was staying with me, but I had become very ill.

We discovered that I had a blood clot in my leg, I ended up having to go to the hospital and I was put on blood thinners, the blood thinners, and my system began to shut down. And because of the blood thinners, I then began to have hemorrhaging issues. I got very, very sick following the blood thinners. I ended up having to have a blood transfusion and several iron infusions following all of this. And we had to have some serious conversations moving forward

because my doctor was recommending for me that I have an ablation surgery done. The reason why this was such a serious conversation is that time I had also been consulting with the hematologist and the hematologist was recommending to me that if I was not going to have any more babies, if that was not in my future, and at this time, I'm 39 and Jim is 40. And she's saying if I'm not planning to have any more children, then I probably should have the remaining fallopian tube that I have in me taken out to avoid the risk of cancer later down the road.

So we were having some really serious conversations about this. And after a lot of thought and after a lot of conversations, we made a decision together that I would go ahead and have this remaining fallopian tube taken out. We knew at that point we're not going to be having any children together, even though he would spend a lot of time talking about it. We both thought at our age, maybe having a baby after all

isn't the best idea, and let's make plans to spend our life traveling the world, we'll have a good life together. I end up having this surgery in mid-May. Again, he was not here for that surgery, and I was a little hurt over it, but I'm also trying to be understanding of the fact that once again, he has a very demanding job. understanding of the fact that once again, he has a very demanding job. A few days after my surgery, he's down here. And I will never forget it. We were laying in bed one night and he wrapped his arms around me and all of a sudden he started crying. I was like, what's going on with you?

Why are you so upset right now? And he said, I just love you so much, and I wish we could have had a baby. And that moment, I'd remember failing devastation and I began to cry. I felt like my heart was in my stomach. And I couldn't believe he was saying this to me after I had just gone through the surgery the week before. I was a little taken back, not really fully understanding

how did we get here. When I had that surgery in early April, between the time in early April and then once we got to this mid-May point, it's COVID, I'm adjusting to working from home. I am adjusting to having to be a teacher to my child at home. I couldn't walk for six weeks.

I had people coming in and out of my house to walk my dog for me. I was so overwhelmed with everything going on and then my health challenge stuff on top of this. During this time, we were back and forth in these weird limbo stages. I would reach out to him and I would just tell him, I feel like you're not being the support that I need right now. Like I'm going through a lot and I understand you have a big job and a lot of responsibility, but I'm going through a lot right now and I'm not sure that you're recognizing that and understanding that I need you right

now. If you can't be here for me in the times when I need you the most, then maybe this just isn't what I thought it was. I was really starting to get to this space of questioning my version of reality. This is our relationship as serious as I thought it was. He would reassure me, I love you so much. I don't want to be away from you, I want to be with you. Every time I needed him, felt like it was a critical moment, he always had an excuse. And he would use things like,

I'm going through so much with my family or my brother is sick in the hospital or I had to take my granny to the hospital or my daughter is having a mental health crisis. I had to take her to mental health. There was just always something he always had an excuse for why he couldn't be present and times when I felt like I really needed him the most. It was around this time in me where I felt like some things just aren't really adding up for me at this point. I talked to him multiple times about the concerns that I have, and in each time he would say things to me like one of his signature lines was I'm just another one passing through. I was like he would try to throw it back on me, and I'm like what are you

talking about? I don't bring people around my children like this. I let you into my life. You pursued me. You would say, to leave me is the safe choice. Everyone leaves me. I guess I'll just figure things out on my own. Or when he would really be feeling sorry for himself. He would say things like, I hope you and your ex

have a nice life together. And it was just like, where is this coming from? I have been faithful with you. I've been open. I've been honest with you. What really made me fall in love with him to be honest with you is that he started to become so comfortable with sharing things about his life and struggles and the things that had hurt him in the past. and the things that had hurt him in the past. So, as much as my gut was telling me something was off here, my heart was saying, this is just a man who has been through a lot of trauma in his life. It's so cliche, I can help him.

Right, I can save him. Like, I want to be the one that reassures him that love is a real thing in the world. You have to understand this man, I had good morning messages from him every single morning. He would send me pictures of him almost every single day. I would respond to him, but then there would be days where hours would go by, and I would not get any kind of response from him. But again, in my mind, this man is in such a high ranking position.

His job is so important. He has so much responsibility. He could be in meetings all day long or he could be driving down the road around the time that the things are just starting to feel a little uneasy for me. He hits me up one morning and out of the blue is like last night my brother told me that I failed because I trust people too much. I'm like, failed at what? Who do you trust too much because it doesn't seem like you trust that many people? He just told me I should trust no one in the world other than family because it's only going to get me hurt.

And I'm asking him, is that how you feel? And he is like, no, I don't feel that way. Then he goes on later to say, I've been burned a lot in life. So it's really setting the tone. She's been a victim over and over again with not just family members that have let him down, but he talked about the mother of his child who he said just up and abandoned him and her one day

and she disappeared and they don't know whatever happened to her. Then he had to be responsible for his daughter and he talked about battles with alcohol abuse and how he had no one there to help him through those things. And he would tell me, you've helped me so much. And I love you and I appreciate everything you've done, essentially building the story as though I was there and I was saving him, even if it was a slow process. He would say things like he allowed himself to be vulnerable with me and

he was always questioning my love for him. At this point, we are near the end of May 2020. Memorial Day weekend rolls around and Jim was gone that weekend, like usual. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting on my back porch and something had been digging at me for a minute and I felt like I needed some answers. I went on Facebook and I started looking up, trying to find his daughter. I knew what her name was, but I wasn't sure of the spelling of it and I kept trying to find her. Well, on this particular day, she pops up. And I'm looking at her Facebook and there's no pictures of her and her dad or anything. Obviously, no pictures of her and her mother because you'd said her mother had abandoned them

many years before. I'm looking through some of her pictures and I notice there is this one particular woman who always likes loves every picture that she posts. I was like, well, I wonder who that person is. So I clicked on the woman's name and her Facebook shows up. And on her Facebook are photos of her and Jim. And I start looking through the photos that she has on her Facebook of her and Jim. And these photos date back several years.

In my mind I'm thinking, this must be the woman that he was telling me about that he had previously talked to me about his last relationship. What he had told me about his past relationship was that he had been with this woman often on for many years. This is not his daughter's mother. This is a woman that he became involved with when his daughter was quite young. He got custody of his daughter shortly after they got together. And so she really stepped in as the caregiver and mother to his daughter.

And I had remembered him telling me, early in our relationship, where we started having conversations about past relationships and why things didn't work out and whatnot and he had flat-out said, she was really great to my daughter, but she was very emotionally abusive to me. He said she was sometimes physically abusive to him,

and he said it had been a horrible relationship for many years, but because she was good to his daughter, that's why he stayed in it for so long. He had claimed that on one occasion that a fellow officer had to come to the home and help him when he was trying to remove himself from the home, the other officer had to come over and help him get his things and get out of there because she had become so violent with him. He said she would try to ruin him in his job. He said that she called up to his job all the time

and would make false accusations. He really painted a picture of this woman was essentially psychotic. He was very adamant. Please don't reach out to her because she would flip out over everything and cause more problems for him. I was shocked to find out when I looked her up because again, he is in such a high ranking position within the police department.

This woman had a very long extensive rap sheet, several charges, and one of the charges include a stabbing of an ex-boyfriend. All the things that he was saying to me, I was believing and bought into and in my mind, I'm thinking he was in a really abusive, scary situation. He had to get out of that. I'm really, I'm buying into it

because she has an extensive criminal history. The state in which I live in has a criminal history directory thing and because I had her name I just looked her up and there she was her whole criminal history. There were actually news articles about some of the incidents. Everything from theft to battery to the tempted murder on the boyfriend that she had stabbed and it was pretty extensive and I was been shocked. I was scared for him. At that point, I was really committed to staying by his side and helping him get away from her because I knew he was still there. There were photos of him at the house that she had on her Facebook

of him from Easter time. I was asking him, are you living there? Do you live with her? And at first he didn't want to answer that. Then he was saying things like, it's not what it looks like. I was there because my daughter is there. So all this time, I'm thinking that his aunt and his grandmother are helping to raise his daughter. But really, this woman is raising his daughter

while he's traveling around the state. He was trying to make it look like she basically stayed there, but he was scared to upset her in any way for reasons of safety, essentially. We've said it so many times that unless you were there and in it, it's so hard to believe all the stories that would come out about things. You just can't understand fully unless you were in it because for me in that moment, that made me want to hold on to him tighter.

I was legitimately scared for his safety and the safety of his daughter. I was committed to, I'm gonna be here for you, I'm gonna be here for your daughter. What can I do to help you get out of this situation? We could get you with a therapist, what resources are available? Does she work at a certain time

that we could get some people up there and get your stuff and get you out of here and away from this woman? This is the end of May when this is happening. And over the course of the next two weeks, he's really laying it on. Like now I know about her. He's so stressed out over everything.

He doesn't know how to get himself out of this situation with this woman, how to get his daughter out of it. He's having conversations with me about, I'm going to talk to my daughter about you. At one point, he tells me that he does have a conversation with his daughter about me and our relationship. And tells me his daughter has me and our relationship and tells me his daughter has a complete mental health breakdown and he has to take her to mental health because she's so distraught over the thought of having to pack her stuff and leave.

I feel like I'm in a rock and a hard spot because I love this man, but I don't know how to help him. And then there's a child involved. And I feel like I can't do anything right in this situation. On June 9th, one of my work colleagues reached out to me and said, hey, check out this interview. I heard a familiar voice because Jim had come to my office so many times, my work colleagues, they knew who he was.

They recognized his voice. I'm listening to the interview. It was a great interview. And I make a comment on the interview because I'm this proud girlfriend, right? And I'm like, please departments need more people like Jim and their departments. I'm really chalking them up. Like I'm so happy for him. He's such a great guy. Within a couple of minutes, I have a woman who also commented on that same Facebook post where that interview was posted. It was literally within a couple of minutes of me posting my comment.

She reaches out to me and asks me if I'm dating Jim. Immediately, again, you know, heart drops systemic like, why is this woman asking me this? What is going on here? I ask her who she is and she discloses to me that she had been involved with Jim just in the few months prior that she had just broke things off with him a couple of weeks before she's now reaching out to me. I'm starting to ask her all these questions like when did you meet him? How did you guys get to talking in whatnot? She previously worked for a police department

in the northern part of our state. And he had been visiting that police department around the end of February of 2020. I remember that he had been up there that day because he had sent me pictures. Anytime he would travel places, he would take pictures of him with the groups that he would meet with or the people in the various departments, he had sent me a picture

of him with this woman in front of a sign at this particular police department. I didn't think anything of it at that time until the woman disclosed to me which department she worked for. I found the picture and I sent it to her and I said, is this you?" And she said, yes. He had met her at the end of February 2020 and then had started to try to pursue something with her between the first part of March and she completely broke it off around the middle of May. It was all the same stuff she said that he had come over to her home on a couple of different occasions. She was a single mom. She said that he pursued her relentlessly over the course of a couple of months. He would call her regularly.

He would send her photos of himself regularly. He would talk to her about wanting marriage and family and more children. And he flat out told her he wanted to make her his wife. When I contacted him, who is this woman? What is going on? He told me he was actually on his way back to the northern part of the state to go back home, and he was only maybe 30 minutes from where he lived at. At least that's what he told me at the time. He told me he was coming back. So he whips his car around and drives three hours back down here to be with me to assure me that this

woman is crazy. She's making it out to be more than what it is. He is profusely calling her a liar. He's saying that she was fired from her job so she couldn't be trusted. There was nothing going on between them. And he actually called it a witch hunt. I don't even know how he managed to do it, but he did come back that night and he sat here with me and he cried and he was like, I don't understand why these things are happening to me. Why women think that just because I'm nice to them, that that means I want to pursue a relationship with them and that's not the case. That's not what it is. That's not what it was with her and she made it out to be more than what it was. He managed once again to manipulate me and I believed him. I was still a little skeptical about it, but I was really believing him because he just had a way of being able to

wrap you in and make you believe his stories. Throughout the month of June, he's confessing his love for me and he admits, I've made mistakes, I'm guilty of making mistakes, I promise you, I'm working every day to be a better man. I'm still having some difficulties at this time because I'm really unsure of how to cope with, I found out that you basically still live with this woman who you say that you don't have really a relationship with that you're only around because of your daughter. And then I have this other woman that has reached out to me and said that she was involved with you for a few months and you're making it out to be like that woman's crazy. He continues to

reassure me through everything. He's not leaving my side. Even in the times when I would try to pull away from him, he was like, no, please don't leave me. Like, I'm here for you. I love you so much. This hurts so bad. I'll be devastated if you leave. This is what I was hearing from him on a regular basis. He suggested that we enter into couples therapy together.

To have some conversations with a professional, he said, I'll do whatever I have to do. If you want me to pay for it, I will pay for it. He said that he really needed to have some conversations with a professional. He said, I'll do whatever I have to do. If you want me to pay for it, I will pay for it." He said that he really needed to have some conversations with someone about how we could work together to continue strengthening our bond and someone that could help guide him through the process of how he could permanently leave this woman

that he had been living with for several years and get his daughter out of that situation too. At the same time that all this was going on, he had been interviewing for a new position at a police department out on the East Coast with another university. They were going to be offering him a higher amount of pay. He was telling me maybe this could be a fresh start for us. Let's see about booking some flights. Let's go out there, check it out. If I like it, he is like, it's going to increase my income.

I can hold us down until you get a job over the course of a couple weeks. I'm looking at flights for us. I'm looking at possible apartments. This man really had it in my mind. Like, we are going to be together. We just have to find an escape plan. We had some therapy sessions that we also set up in the month of the June,

but they weren't gonna start until July. In the first week of July, he was going to take this job at this other police department and the university with which we worked at came back and made him a much larger offer, a much larger offer, and not only that gave him a title change that made him an even higher ranking position. On the day that this was being announced, my mother was in town visiting, she lives out of state,

and she had come into town and was gonna be here for a few days. He initially wasn't planning to be here that day, but when he knew that my mom was coming a day early, he made a special trip down here to where I live at so that he could meet her for the first time. This also happened to be the same day that the big formal university announcement went out talking about his new title and whatnot. At this point, I was just in a space of, I didn't care if the woman that he was living with

found out about me. There had been two other instances where there were articles about him that had been posted, and I had reposted those articles to my Facebook page. Didn't really say a whole lot, but would say things like, I'm so proud of Babe. Our relationship, while it wasn't necessarily secretive,

because we would go places together, he was always very funny about social media. He really didn't want me to post things on social media. I was trying to respect privacy, and I was also in this space of everything about our relationship doesn't have to be public. He really was also in this space of everything about our relationship. Doesn't have to be public. He really made me think that way. But this was a huge deal. So I posted it. I made these comments about how I'm so proud of him. How I see him doing

good things in the community day in and day out. He's such a great guy. I'm so proud to watch him grow within about 30 minutes of me posting that I got a message on Facebook from the woman that he was living with. She had apparently seen where it had been reposted and she looked at what I had posted along with it and she sent me a message on Facebook and she said, with it and she sent me a message on Facebook and she said, who is Jim to you?

Because I've been with him for the past 10 years. I was totally freaking out in that moment because it was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, I know who she is and now she knows who I am. I remember calling one of my best friends and being like, oh my God, I don't know what to do. Should I respond to her? Should I ignore god, I don't know what to do. Should I respond to her? Should I ignore it? I don't know what to do and at that same time, Jim was down here in my living room in a full-blown conversation with my mom and as I'm coming down the stairs, I hear him say,

hold on, I need to take this call and he walks out the door. That's next time on Something was Wrong. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe friends. Something was wrong is a broken cycle media production created and hosted by me, Tiffany Rees. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow something was wrong on Instagram, at something was wrong podcast. Our theme song was composed by Glad Rags.

Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much. Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.