Something Was Wrong - S17 E2: Be Very Concerned

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

*Content Warning: Child abuse, emotional abuse, road rage, animal poisoning, suicidal ideation, interpersonal violence. Free + Confidential Resources + Safety Tips: somethingwaswrong.com/resources SWW SS23 Merch: merch.cameo.com/store/somethingwaswrong Follow Something Was Wrong on IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcastFollow Tiffany Reese on IG: instagram.com/lookiebooArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart:@GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening, add free, on Wondering Plus. Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences, as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence. Content warnings for each episode, and confidential and free resources for survivors, can be found in the episode notes. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes.

pseudonyms are given to minors in these stories for their privacy and protection. Testimony shared by guests on this show is their own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, broken cycle media or wondering. The podcast or any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice nor is the information a substitute for professional expertise or treatment. All persons are considered innocent and less proven guilty in a court of law. Thank you so much for listening. Well, head on, head on It comes on, on, on, on You don't know anybody until you turn

To someone It was January of 2010 and my world changed. My father was diagnosed with my low dysplastic syndrome, which is a blood cancer. My father was this guy who is sweet and gentle and hardworking. He never complained about anything. He never went to the doctor. He had been living in pain for a while, but just didn't want anybody to know. We were now heading into this terrifying future for our family and we had no idea what to expect or how bad it would be. But now he was sick, he could no longer work, and he was already so, so for him. I needed a distraction. I logged back in to some online dating.

As well as his best friend, of course, I would hear the stories. We all went at work. It was like story time, she was coming like, oh my god, you guys don't believe it. This one did or where we went for a date or what he tried to do. It was actually comical

and we weren't laughing at her, even she was laughing at some of it. Like, these people really exist out there. So we then we give her feedback. Okay, no more him, don't call him, don't text back. Uh, I'm your dumb without, you know, gotta meet someone new. So we're all rallying around her and mind you these are learning experiences because she's new to all this. Her love life was not going according to plan. I saw Cody's profile. Several things in his profile were intriguing to me. He said he was looking for someone that

was truthful and who loves kids because he believes kids come first. We were the same age. It said that he liked the outdoors, he loved to play sports, you name it, swim, height, glistening weights, all these things I found attractive. Side note, of course I never once saw him do any of these things while we dated, but I'm sure you all saw that one coming. We started an online conversation. He was the kind of guy that liked to talk a big talk, play a big game. He would tell me all these stories about how his uncle was a leader of some motorcycle gang, and he had a guaranteed retention. I didn't really believe him. They just seemed like some story he was trying to come up with to make him look hard and cool, and I was not into that, so I did

paint it. I wasn't really wowed at first, but we continued to talk over a couple of weeks. She always wants to help people. People like Cody who we come to find out the person he is, he wanted someone to take care of him. She started dating him. I remember thinking, this is going really fast. I remember telling her that. He would tell me all these corny jokes and one-liners, the German in, because it reminded me of my dad. My dad always told the cornyest jokes. He told me he worked all the time. Six days a week, like 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. in the evening, he was managing his uncle's machine shop. Over this time, as we were getting to know each other, he told me more about himself. He had broken up with his longtime girlfriend about seven months prior.

They were engaged, but she had cheated on him. He had been a dark place over that, just like I was. We both felt used and abused, but now we had each other. He said he loved kids and knew I had to be this amazing person for adopting Jace, and he wanted to meet him someday. He had type 1 diabetes, which was well controlled as an insulin pump. He had had a rough childhood being juggled between his parents who divorced when he was young.

His father had passed away and their relationship was complicated. I remember him telling me how his dad threw him through a glass door once. He had graduated from a local high school in the same area that I lived. And he went to one of our state colleges for two years, but then he had to drop out because he couldn't afford it.

He went to work for a company that made boat parks or something, but the business closed and he was laid off. That's when he moved to my city to start working for his uncle, but the majority of his family lived in a town about an hour away. He was pretty close to his mother and sister, he had two sisters and a younger brother and lots of nieces and nephews. I loved this. He seemed like family was very important to him. It was a while before we went on our first date, but we continued to talk all the time. Mostly by text message. He messaged me one day, saying he was working in his uncle's shop,

and he was involved in an accident. His foot was run over by a foreclift and he had to go to the emergency room. He was unable to go back to work until he saw an orthopedist, due to his diabetes, you know, they wanted to make sure his foot was healing, okay? He followed up with the orthopedist almost immediately and he was so upset. The orthopedist wouldn't sign off on him going back to work because his foot wasn't healing right and he needed to apply for disability. He was so frustrated because he wanted to work it was not happy about having to be on disability. He's going to be on a limited income for a while but this was short term.

He's going through a hard time, I can help him through it because that's who I am. That's what I do. And I bought the story. Here I was again trying to help someone get through a hard time and be a shoulder to lean on. I was a nurse that's who I was. I take care of people. We've talked so much at this time that I felt like I knew him texting from good morning to good night and all day long. All the sweet nothings I could think of, he gave. He built me up. No one had ever made me feel so good. I felt like he knew me and he understood me.

Growing up in my world, people are good for the most part. They tell the truth and deserve the benefit of the doubt. Even with my past experiences with dating, he started to give me hope that maybe I was wrong and there were actually some good ones out there. Of course, he said all the things I wanted to hear and he reeled me in. He loved bomb me with non-stop compliments. He was so interested in Jace and asked about him all the time. No other man ever did that. He cared about my well-being and he encouraged me throughout the day. He would worry about my dad and ask how he was doing. We were a couple of underdogs that had been through some obstacles in life but we

found each other. Now everything was gonna be okay We moved super fast, but it felt right. It felt natural. I don't even remember our first date But my sister said by the second date I was spending the night at his house and by the third day I brought Chase over to his house to spend the night. I think trauma has helped me block a lot of that all out because of course That sounds crazy to me that I did that But I also believe it because that's how bonded we already were. I don't even think that relationship was sexual initially. It was just about us and how well we got along together. I felt loved from him from the very beginning and we started with love talk early.

I was on cloud 9 over this. No man had ever uttered these words to me in my life and I'd finally found it. Needless to say, my sister was not thrilled with the speed of this relationship and it involved in Jace. She's very protective, some might say controlling, but I should really give her more credit. She told me about Cody in February. So just to put it all in context, our dad got diagnosed with cancer in January, and she met Cody in February. Their relationship ended in June.

Cody comes along. My first memory of him is he's at our house, and Leslie's telling me all about him, and he is telling all of these stories. He has a rich uncle who he works for. The uncle is so rich that he owns a bunch of race cars and Cody got to go to Paris with his uncle to do some kind of race car thing. And I was like, oh wow, you've been to Paris. And he's like,

yeah. And I said, so what did you do there? Did you go to like the Louvre? And he was like, what's the Louvre? I started mentioning different things in Paris. And he has never heard of any of them. It was just like really obvious. He was lying. He also said that his best friend was the lead singer of the band Blink 182. I would ask him questions about that. His answers didn't add up. So it was just like this guy seems a little bit shady. It was what I always wanted. He showered me with compliments, offered to help me with anything I needed. He helped fix the plumbing in my house. He helped me change my oil, details my car, went with me to even negotiate the purchase of a new car. Help me run errands,

could tweet dinner. He would show up at work with flowers. If he knew I was having a hard day at work, he would surprise me and bring me and my best friend lunch. But most importantly, the center of our relationship was always Jace. He always came first. Cody dooted on him, treated him like he was the priority. Cody and I didn't really go on dates. Whatever we did, we did a kind of a family. I used to joke that Cody loved J's more than me. What more could I ask for? In fact, one of the things that made me fall for Cody was a story he told me about saving a baby's life. He told me that he was living with a girlfriend years before who had a baby.

He came home from work one day and found the baby unconscious and immediately called 911 and started giving the baby CPR. The mom didn't want to go to the hospital, so he rode in the ambulance with a little girl. She had a skull fracture with a brain bleed and was removed from her mother's care in place in protective custody. The mother was charged with child abuse. The social worker even allowed him to see the baby occasionally because of what he did for her.

I'm thinking, oh my gosh, what an amazing guy. This all fell in line with how I saw him treat Jace. He loves kids. But my sister could see everything that I was blinded to. She knew there was something about Cody that couldn't be trusted. We were two, college, career, educated women, and this guy comes in that's a little rough around the edges, and I have to admit, we'll act some standard social cues. It's like when we were around other people, he would turn into this teenager stuck in

a 30-year-old's body. It would get so embarrassing, he could be crashed and inappropriate. I remember thinking, oh my god, if you really just say that, this get so embarrassing. He could be crashed and inappropriate. I remember thinking, oh my god, if you really just say that, this is so embarrassing. But when it was just us, he wasn't like that. It was laugh and have fun. My sister didn't think he was right for me or Jace, but I just wanted her to let me live my life. She didn't like that I was having him over to spend the night, and that I was taking Jace over to spend the night at his house. She started to do some digging on her own. My sister could see through Cody's facade and he knew it.

They did not get along from the beginning. After being together for about a month, it was all about how Jace and I had changed his life and how much joy we brought. He would watch Jace for me for a short time as well we went to the doctor with my dad. My father was continuing to decline more rapidly than expected. He needed a bone marrow transplant and there's just a lot that goes in with that. Our communication was still on stop. He was always checking up on me.

If I didn't answer immediately, he would get paranoid and wonder if everything was okay or if he made me mad. I thought it was cute back then, but now I know that was just a way to control me. He was always paranoid about something, whether it was with me or other people. It wasn't like before too long, he was saying I love you. She was feeling very flattered

because she never had a guy talk sweet to her show interest like this. They are making you feel like you are on top of the world. You're getting attention, you're feeling desired. It makes you feel very important. And I remember they started saying, I love you. And I was like, gosh, let's see. This is going really fast.

Are you sure? And she was like, yeah. And as they spent more time together, he's loved bombing her about how much he loves Jace. And he just loves kids. They're so important. By mid-March, we were already so enmeshed in each other that we were already talking about moving in with each other.

You wanted me to talk to my sister about it. That would be hard. We owned this house together and she was so important in Jace's life. This would not be an easy conversation and I knew I would get backlash from her because she did not like Cody and she would not be on board with this. So I just kept putting it off until the right time. Of course there was never really a right time.

The tension continued to build between Cody and Stacey. He wanted control of me and she was in his way. She was a threat. They would occasionally get along but my sister could not quit listening to her gut. He gradually pulled me farther and farther away from my family, especially my sister could not quit listening to her gut. He gradually pulled me farther and farther away from my family, especially my sister. We were fighting about it frequently. I even remember there was one time we were like standing in the kitchen screaming at each other and that Jace was there and he got in between the two of us

and said, no, no fight. So we stopped fighting when he did that, but yeah, we weren't getting along. I mean, Jace was still the center of everyone's universe. So it's not like we were fighting every minute or not talking. We still were generally most of the time cordial to each other. Stacey was a big sister, so it looked up to her. And for the vast majority of her life, I would say that my wife followed Stacy coming in to their adult relationship. They don't seem like they get along sometimes, but they love each other. You know what I mean? I love my wife's family. They might argue and fight like my family does.

They still love each other. I would just say he was a little standoffish to the family, but not even in a rude way, maybe just shy. The times that we spent together was so short, and other than it, Jason's third birthday party, we might have seen each other one or two other times, that family events, or maybe at Leslie's house, I just don't have much of an impression. We have a thing in Oklahoma where you can look up people on our court network and see like if they've been charged with anything or have traffic tickets or any convictions. And so I looked them up on there and he had four protective orders issued against him and they weren't just emergency protective orders.

They were like final protective orders issued against him. And they weren't just emergency protective orders. They were like final protective orders, right? So they had gone through the court process and been granted after testimony by a judge. So I was like, oh, okay, I've got to tell Leslie about this. So I call her and I tell her she's like, oh yeah, I know about those already. I actually, I went to court with him on one of them last week.

And I was like, like what and she was like Yeah, he explained it all to me. It's all just like a big misunderstanding one of them It was just his ex-girlfriend is trying to get back at him because he broke up with her another one is a situation where this Girl abused her son and then she blamed Cody But he didn't do it and another one his brother was like stocking someone and they thought it was Cody. And I was like, okay, Leslie, there is no way in hell you can have four. No one has that much bad luck. That's when I was like, okay, he's actually dangerous. I looked for one of those people on Facebook and found one of the girls that had the protective order against him. If I can read my emails back and forth with that girl.

Yes, please. Absolutely. If you're comfortable, I would love to hear that. I said, hi, I know this is strange, but my sister is dating Cody Sarton and I saw an OSC and that you had a protective order against Cody several years ago. I am wondering if I need to be concerned about my sister and her two-year-old son. I'm very sorry to bother you with this. I just want to make sure she is safe. Thank you, Stacy. This was her reply. Yes, be very concerned. I got the EPO

because he beat my daughter when she was five months old. She had shaken baby syndrome and had to be life-lighted to OPEC, OU Children's Hospital. She died three times on the way there, had to have two brain surgeries to save her life. He is a POS child-beater. I was recently contacted on my space by his latest ex who was getting one on him. She needs to get away from him ASAP, especially for her baby's sake. I said, thanks for getting back with me. Cody told my sister that you hurt the baby and ended up getting arrested for it or something like that, but blamed it on him. I am really sorry to be

dredging up the past for you, but can you think of any way I can convince my sister that he is not telling the truth? As for as other ex, Cody says that it was his brother doing that stuff to her that led to the protective order. He has an explanation for everything. He is just so shady. And then her response to that was, you can look and do a background check on me if you want to. I pled guilty to failure to protect. I've been arrested for driving without a license when I was 18. I don't know if he ever tells anyone the truth about it. If she wants, she can meet my kid and me and learn quickly that I would never do something like that. I don't even believe in spanking.

Plus, if I had done it, I would be in prison, not sitting here with her right now and my eight-month-old son, plus one on the way in August. Cody doesn't even have a brother. He has two sisters. There's a girl who knew him before she met me and he tried to feed her this BS and she knows now that I didn't do it. Hell, I've been babysitting her kids since they were born. I don't watch the news because stories

of child abuse are on there all the time and I can't handle it. I hope your sister gets away from him. My sister has a protective order on him too because he slammed her into a cement wall. She's on Facebook if you want to talk to her about it. Right after like the same day that I got those first messages from her, he sent me a text through a message somehow, I said, I heard you've been asking questions about me. I want you to know I have eyes everywhere. I can't remember how he worded it, but it was very clearly a threat that could be denied being a threat. If that makes sense. The way he worded it, right, when I read it to Leslie, he's like, I was entretening her. I was just telling her I didn't appreciate her checking up on me.

I don't even remember what she told my sister, but it didn't matter. Don't worry, Stacey. I already know all about this. Let me explain the situation to you, and you'll understand what happened. After they incident with the baby, he tried to kick her out, she wouldn't leave, so there was this altercation, and she filed a protective order. He said it's so easy to get a protective order against anyone, judges will always grant it to a woman against a man. And it was granted because he had to go to work that day, and she knew it, and he couldn't show up for the court day, so it was automatically granted. I knew nothing of how all this worked, so I had no reason not to believe him, and he always used his family as defense.

You can ask my family about it. I can even get you the DHS worker's number if you want. Okay, geez. No, that's okay. I believe you. I did talk to his mother and sister about all this, and they confirmed a story. He saved the baby's life. None of that is true, but that's how good he is. He had them convinced. Like I said, he was super paranoid all the time. Around this time, he starts texting me that

he needs a place to hide because his ex and her friend and some guy keep driving by his house and they won't leave him alone. They keep harassing him, he's got a call to cops. Next thing you know, his ex and her friend have now filed protective orders against him and he's beside himself. He said they accused him of sending all these threatening messages and he wouldn't leave them alone. That didn't make any sense to me

because there were always together and I'd never seen him contact her. In fact, we were together the night he told me these messages happened. Plus, if this were true and he were doing these things, why would he tell me about it? Seems like that would be something you would want to keep from the girl you're dating. Here he is, going through another hard time, and I'm going to come to the rescue and save him.

Why won't people just let us be and leave us alone? I'm going to show this woman she hasn't no hold on him. I'm going to help him through this process. I tell him to file a stalking report. He tells me he filed a cross protective order and he's talked to her grandmother who just loves him. And she's willing to testify in court on his behalf. He just cannot catch a break.

If that's true, he must be innocent, right? So I'm gonna go to this court date and support him and be by his side. This guy now has several protective orders against him. And I even go to a court date and support him and be by his side. This guy now has several protective orders against him and I even go to a court date with him instead of running for the hills. This is my part of the story that I haven't really told anybody until now because it mortifies me. I didn't even think I told my sister about it but recently she told me that I had informed her all about it when it happened and defended him the whole time. So I'm in court with him and this is not what I'm expecting.

There was no one testifying on behalf of him. The evidence was pretty damning. The threats did come from his phone. It couldn't really defend himself. I remember sitting there with a pit in my stomach thinking, oh my god, could this really be true? I could not process it, but I was freaking out. The protective orders were granted,

low and behold, that night he had an explanation for it all. It was all his brothers doing. His brother denied it at first, but then admitted it. His brother took his phone when he was asleep and sent the messages when he spent the night when Nyer something to that effect. He didn't want to admit it to Cody because he didn't want it to affect their relationship, but he agreed that he would own up to it and try to get another quarter day.

Okay, well that's a little better. It put me at ease. I knew his brother had problems, but now I'm second-guessing the story about his other ex, the baby. Some things just don't make sense. So I ask more questions. No problem. He had the answers, no hesitation. If I ever confronted him about anything throughout our relationship, by the end of the conversation, I would feel guilty about ever even doubting him. Gaslighting at its finest. But I couldn't really spend any more energy on this because my father was not doing well and he was in the hospital. I had to focus on my dad. Cody was always very supportive for everything during my father's cancer journey.

My mom was struggling. She was now taking care of my grandmother, my dad, and my aunt and her kids who had now moved in and were having a hard time. She was still watching Jace when I worked. There are a couple of days where I was very upset with my mom because she had forgotten to give Jace some feeding tubes and Jace had lost weight. He was only in the fifth percentile for his weight, which means 95% of kids his age were

bigger than him. He could not afford to lose weight. Cody was so upset by this and went on a rant. It was unacceptable. He said Jace needed to at the priority and they had to take better care of him. He couldn't afford to lose weight. He wanted to be the one watching Jace from now on. I wasn't that hard on my mom. Our family was stressed to the max and I could give her some grace. But maybe he's right. Maybe Jace is too much for her right now and I should let Cody

watch him while I'm at work. It was the perfect storm for him to gain more control and get us away from my family. For the short amount of times that he would watch Jace, he always sent me pictures or had funny little cute stories to tell me about him. It was comforting. One particularly hard day was my dad. Cody told me he had to put Jace in time out for jumping on the bed because he didn't want him to get hurt and wanted to know how long he should stay in timeout. I told him the usual, put him in timeout for a minute for every year of his life, so like two and a half minutes. Then pick him up, let him know what he did wrong, give him a hug, tell him you love him. For responsible parenting, right? He said, Jace called him daddy and that he always wanted a little boy and now he felt bad for putting him in time out.

Cody said he was the luckiest guy in the world. Later that night, Jase was even asking for Cody. So sweet. When he picked me up at work one day, he even wanted one of my co-workers to come out and make sure he'd install Jase's car seat correctly. He wanted to go to all of Jase's doctor's appointments and therapy appointments. One of these days when Codyody was watching jace, he called to let me know that jace had tripped and hit his head on a door jam and had a little goose

said on his head, but he's okay. Okay, he's a toddler. jace was super clumsy, didn't surprise me. The next day i was at my mom's and she asked jace what happened to his head. jace says, kody awe. That's about the extent of his talking at this stage, a few words clustered together, not real clear sentences, but we could usually get what he meant. I told Cody what Jay said. He was so worried, my parents would think he was a bad dad and wouldn't trust him. He felt so guilty about him getting hurt while he was watching him. He said he was sorry for letting me down. I was like, it's okay, he's a toddler, he's going to get Aui, these things happen. Maybe just pay closer attention to him next time. Of

course, he had an explanation. He had placed Jason his room to play while he was playing a violent video game because it wasn't appropriate for Jason to see, and he tripped and fell while in his room. His pair of Noia continued, but now it was aimed at me. At the end of March, I went to a concert with some of my girlfriends. It would have been the first time I was out of his control and he did not like that. When I did text him back right away, he would send all the passive aggressive messages and I would have to reassure him that I would keep texting him. Then he would turn around and send the sweet messages, calling me YC and how much he couldn't wait to hold me. So I could never relax

and just have fun because I still had to focus on him. He told me he might go have a drink with his friend Josh, but come to think about it, I never met a single friend of his, I don't even know if they even existed. I made plans that night just to come to his house after the concert and spend the night, but it was late, he was already asleep, so I crawled in bed around 2am, and his phone was just lying there, waiting, and it was just too much temptation. I was heartbroken. I found that he was talking to another girl. I had no idea how they met, how long they'd been talking, but they had actually gone on

a date that night, while I was out with my friends. I couldn't believe it. He had been texting me throughout the night. Why would he go on a day? This did not make any sense with the man I thought I knew. Why would he want me to even come to his house afterwards? I feel like he was so afraid that I was gonna cheat on him. The one night I wasn't with him that he felt like he had to do it first.

I never said anything about it. I was into Nile. I just pretended it never happened. The last time goes on, he wasn't able to back up his stories, whether that's how he got hurt at work, he was getting caught maybe cheating or talking to other girls, but he'd always have a story for it. But I could tell some things are starting to bother Leslie as this relationship was going on because she could also tell things were adding up. I remember feeling frustrated with her at one point.

There were so many things happening, then he went and get a job and then he wanted to move in. And I just saw her working so hard and so much. And this guy wasn't doing anything. And I really started getting a distaste for him. April turned out to be a particularly vulnerable time with everything going on with my dad and being super busy at work, plus trying to keep the peace between Stacey, Cody,

and my parents. My parents were always nice to Cody, whether they liked them or not. But Stacey would talk to them about Cody, and then I'm all going to have it top with me. It was this revolving door. Stacey didn't want me to bring Cody to the house. A new Cody would never allow that

because he was just that controlling. I felt stuck between choosing Cody and my family. I just wanted Cody and Stacy to sit down and have a rational conversation with each other instead of going through me. I knew if she would just sit down and talk with him without being sarcastic and let him explain everything the way he explained it to me, she would understand

and maybe they would see each other differently. But I knew we were too far past that point. That wasn't an option anymore. I would have to choose Cody and Jace, and we would have to stay away from my family. The conversation with my sister, about us not living together, started at this point. She was just ready to get away from us as well.

We were on very little speaking terms. There was tension everywhere. I offered to move out, and she could find a roommate or she could move out. My sister discussed fixing up my parents' house, it needed a lot of work and then moving in there. So we started that process, but that was going to take time. I was picking up all kinds of extra shifts to make extra money to fix up my house, so we could put it on the market. Stacy had yet to move out, so if anything, we just needed to sell the house and go our separate ways.

It wasn't likely I could afford to keep the house on my own. I couldn't afford the mortgage on my own. Cody, yeah, he could be helping with his disability checks, but that wouldn't be enough. But I also want Cody out of his house because it wasn't in the best part of town, and there was no way I was moving in there. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Between my dad's illness, the tension with my family over Cody and all my

over time, I was hanging on by a threat. I had a breakdown one day about losing my dad, which turned into, I don't know what I would ever do if anything happened to Jayce. He still had medical problems and what if something happened to him? What if he died in a car wreck? Got some horrible infection from his feeding tooth? Cody said, why would anything ever happen to Chase? That doesn't make any sense. He said that would never happen because we were too cautious and he would never let anything happen to our baby, but he couldn't imagine life without him either.

That day he surprised me at work with flowers to tear me up. April is also when the marriage shot started. I remember his mom came down for a doctor appointment one day and Cody wanted to treat us to dinner. Cody was so proud to show us off to his mom. His mom was really supportive and loved Jace. I remember Cody gave me this look at dinner that just melted me. One of those looks where you can just see how much they love you. That night he told me how much he wanted to marry me, it's been the rest of his life with me, and asked me how I felt about that. He said he loved Jayce with all his heart and he didn't know what love was until he met Jayce and I. I told him I

felt the same way and it would happen when the time was right. Introducing a man that's come into the picture unreason fast out of nowhere, when you're two and a half year old, has only ever had his mom complicate it. Now I bring in this stranger that's there all the time, and I mean all the time, and that was confusing for Jayce, and so unfair to him. I thought I was doing the right thing by bringing someone in that cared so much about Jayce, and wanted to be a part of our lives. I thought I was doing the right thing by bringing someone in that cared so much about Jason, wanted to be a part of our lives.

But I can only imagine how confusing that is to a toddler. Sometimes he left Cody, sometimes he hated him, sometimes he would kiss and hug him, other times he didn't want anything to do with him. But Cody took it as stride and I just thought it was kind of normal when it happens when he bring in someone new. But I was so concerned about it at a point and then sure if I was doing the right thing or

not that I brought it up to our pediatrician just to make sure I wasn't making a mistake. She knew us so well because she'd taken care of Jay since he came home from the hospital. She assured me this is normal when I needed to continue to involve coding and things and hope let Jay get used to him and get to know him. I felt relieved. I was just being paranoid. But by mid-April, now there was a shift.

Cody never yelled at me or Jace, he was never violent, but I started to see his anger issues come out in other ways. His road rage was off the charts. He would get so angry over just the littlest infractions. One time he got out of the car and threatened to hit this guy's car with a tire iron or something over something silly. It was concerning, but I thought it was something he could work through. Around this time is when really bad stuff started happening. Jay started having some bruises on his ears that nobody knew where they came from.

Through my googling, the only explanation I could find for bruises on ears was child abuse. I made my sister take him to the doctor. I'm like, Leslie, this is the only explanation that anyone can find. But the pediatricians said they weren't worried about it. And so I even called my other friends who were also social workers. Like, what do I need to do? And they were like, well, I guess if the doctor says it's nothing to worry about, I wouldn't worry about it. He also has a mark on his risks after he'd been with Cody one time. Leslie has Cody watching him sometimes, like babysitting him, going places

with him. Sometimes they spend the night at Cody's house, which I did not like. And around this time, Jay starts saying, Cody bad a lot. And there was one day that Cody spent the night at our house. Jay's was stuck to me like glue. Like he wouldn't let me take a shower unless he came in the bathroom with me. And he kept saying like, Cody bad, Cody bad. All this stuff was happening.

I'm telling Leslie about it. By this time Cody and her both just think like, I'm trying to get them broken up. Cody is telling my sister that I am a bitter spencer who is jealous that my sister has found love and that I'm just angry that no one will ever love me. I'm telling my parents about it and my parents are like, yeah, that's concerning, but it's your sister's life and I was getting furious at my parents about it and my parents are like, yeah, that's concerning, but it's your sister's life. And I was getting furious at my parents

for not, I don't know, grounding her or doing something. How is your dad doing at this point? He was going through chemo. He couldn't really eat everything he tried to eat. He tasted like metal. So he was losing a lot of weight. We also had a lot of stress at that time. Like medical bills were piling up for my parents

and trying to figure all this other stuff out with them. There were a lot of moving pieces at that time. I was still around Cody. He knew I didn't like him, but weird things happened like around this time, my dog started having seizures. And so I believe that Cody did something to my dog because this happened after Cody stayed at my house for a night or a day or something and I wasn't there. And then all of a sudden my dog starts

having seizures. I don't know where. At this time, I was riding a lot. So I was always on my laptop. And my laptop, all of a sudden, started smelling like urine when the fan would come on. So I, I will just cut Cody peed on my laptop. Little weird things kept happening. And again, like I don't know for sure, but I think knowing what we know now, I can assume that I was probably right about those things. Cody was watching Chase while I had a meeting at work. He called to let me know that Chase had an accident, but he was okay.

He said he was riding on one of those little cars that he sit on and push with your feet. He was going too fast and he ran into a wall at the end of our hall. There was a baby gate leaving up against the wall and the gate fell over and hit him and then Chase fell over and the little car landed on him. He cried for a little bit, but now he was playing again. I wasn't worried, seems like something Jace would do. That afternoon, I noticed bruising on the inside of his ears. This was strange. I'd never seen anything like this in my nursing career or learned anything about it in nursing school. It wasn't on the outside of his ears. It was on the inside, and not just one ear, but both ears in the exact same place.

And on the backs of his ears, there was like some petikeye, which is like a sign of broken capillaries or some bleeding. But he's not acting like anything hurts. His ears are not hot, they're not tender, he's acting perfectly normal. I call the pediatrician and made an appointment for the next day. Jace had tubes in his ears for frequent ear infection, so I'm thinking maybe the fall did something to those, and this is a cause of that. Later that night, we were staying at Cody's house, and I, of course, started to play Dr. Google and researching what could cause bruising on the inside of the ears. That idea shouldn't have done that.

I did not like what I read. We're talking about school fractures and needing to watch at first three-wheel spinal fluid coming out of the ears. Now I am completely freaked out. It's after 10 o'clock at night and I'm convinced Jace will die in his sleep. I don't know what to do. But I had this nurse practitioner

that I worked with in the NICU that was very close to and I trusted her implicitly. I sent her pictures and asked her what I should do. She was also concerned about a school fracture, and said I should take him to the ER immediately and not wait until the morning. Oh my God, okay crap, let's go. Cody was so worried and insisted we hurry to the ER ASAP. He went with us and stayed by our side the whole time.

We waited forever. We never even got into a room. And by 2am, we were placed on a burry in the hall of the ER. This was also the same hospital I worked in. Finally, a doctor came in to see us, like, explained why was so concerned, what had happened that day.

He looked at me like I had two heads. He did not understand why I brought him in. I'm like, I'm a nurse. I've never seen anything like this. I just want to make sure he's okay. I told him all about what the nurse practitioner had said. Then he had Jace walk down the hall and walk back, make sure his gate was steady and by his limited neuro exam, Jace appeared to be acting normal. He then asked me who had been watching Jace that day. I told him Cody watched him for a couple hours, but other than that, Jayce was with both

of us. He said he appeared to be fine, but we could request a CT scan if we wanted to check for a skull fracture. I'm thinking, what the hell? Aren't you supposed to be the doctor and tell me what's needed? I said, well does he need one? He replied, well that's your choice. You can have to do one if you want.

Okay, thanks for your help. He said we already had a pediatrician appointment for the next day, so we could just follow up with them. Okay, Doc, thanks for nothing. Later, I would find out he documented in his notes in the official legal chart that it appeared to be child abuse, like someone slapped Jace on both sides of his head. but there was no social worker on site during the night, so he would let the pediatrician follow up. He knew better. He knew there's always a social worker on call. And he had a moral, ethical, and legal duty to report this, and he failed. Call the social worker. Let this be where it

ends. But he didn't. The next day, we follow up with the pediatrician. Cody was with us. He was always with us. What I thought was caring at the time, I now know was control. He had to be in the room in case questions were raised or I said something incriminating. The only reasonable explanation they could come up with was some kind of bleeding disorder. We did testing for that, it was ruled out. We would just have to watch it. Few weeks later, we had an unrelated follow up

with his ENT doctor to see other tubes and his ears were doing. I brought up the bruising, thinking he might have some insight. Stop, maybe he was sleeping on his ears wrong. No one brought up child abuse. I was the nurse who saved his baby's life. We were a success story. A story people told their friends about.

Our life is a testimony to what love can accomplish and heal. No one could fathom that a smart educated woman could fall prey to a sociopath. Except my sister. Of course, she would blame Cody. She came to me and said she asked Jayce what had happened to his ears and he said Cody did it. Here we go. I've got to explain what happened so she'll understand.

Yes, he was with Cody, but this is what happened. I would ask what happened and Jace would say, Gamma did it, Stacy did it, Papa did it. What do you do with that? What do you believe? He's an underdeveloped two and a half year old. There is no way the man I loved and saw daily how much he loved and cared for Chase could ever hurt him when I wasn't around. I couldn't even entertain that thought.

Cody had been working on his car one day. He was always working on his car. He had an old Chevy Monte Carlo SS that he was fixing up and it was obnoxiously loud, like an embarrassing loud. Any money he had, he would spend on his toys. Jay's had these red marks around both wrists, and Cody told me he got his hand stuck in some break ties. I know nothing about cars, I have no idea what break ties are.

Sounded to me like Cody was getting lazy and not watching Jay's and being irresponsible. I mean, he's not used to being a stay-at-home dad with this much responsibility. This was a lot different than just watching your nieces and nephews occasionally. He needed some redirection. He was receptive to that. But inside I was kind of getting pissed off. I mean, come on.

You keep giving my family ammunition to say you aren't a good guy. They're gonna see this and ask me about it. You are not helping our situation here. Please get your friend together. Part of me thinks we've gotten any had enough information to have done more. So it makes me sad that I didn't push harder.

I had this information that he was already a child abuser. Why didn't I go get a protective order on Jace's behalf or something like that. But that's the deal with the associate path is they can convince you of anything. I always said that like he was such a good liar that you'd be talking to him and he'd convince you that the sky was green.

And then it wasn't until you like went outside and saw the sky that you'd be like, oh no, it's blue, it's always been blue. I knew it was blue. He was such a convincing liar at times that I felt guilty a lot of the time. I was so worried that I was harming him in some way by accusing him of these things. I was gaslighting myself in some ways. As I moved out, there was quite a bit of conflict between Cody and I.

My sister and I had bought a TV together. So this is when like flat screen TVs were first becoming affordable-ish, right? They were still expensive, but we'd bought a flat screen TV together. And it was nice and we were proud of it. So when it was time for me to move out, we got into a big argument over who was gonna get the TV. And Cody was basically like, we're keeping the TV. So I moved out and I bought myself an even bigger TV, but the TV comes back later, so just wait.

That's part of the story later. I had been going to therapy because I was just so stressed out. I had moved into my own home around the end of May. I had bought toys and had lots of stuff here for Jay's to stay here as well and had been watching him a lot like my sister had brought him over here quite a bit. So my therapist started talking to me about boundaries and it said this is what your sister chose. Maybe you need to quit making it easy for her. Maybe you need to let her live with her decisions and start separating

yourself a bit. He was breaking the lease at his house and moving in. We were doing this. Things were getting tense. He would pull away and be distant yet still be around all the time. I didn't really understand what had changed. My suspicions got the best of me, and I found a way to check his phone while he was working on his car. Sure enough, I found out that he'd been talking to two other girls. These girls were friends with each other. Sometimes the texting was inappropriate, sometimes it was friendly, it was clear one of of the girls was interested in him and the other one was not at all, but he was stringing this other girl along. He went out with them to lunch one day, even if they were just friends. I mean, nothing about this, he would have freaked out if I ever had die friends, much less talk to them in this manner or go out with them. It's like he needed a backup in case we didn't work out. Because he had nothing else. He knew I was too good for him

and would catch on to what he was doing sooner or later. He needed to find the next girl he could manipulate and start laying that groundwork. He had tabs on everything I did, everywhere I went and who I was with, which was no one. I could never go anywhere without him, except work. I went to my bedroom and lay down and just stared at no one. I could never go anywhere without him, except work. I went to my bedroom and lay down and just stared at the ceiling. I mean, how could this be happening? All these plans were in motion.

We're about to move in together. Too many wheels are turning and we can't back out. What am I gonna do? Have I made this huge mistake? I hate, hate, hate confrontation and awkward conversations. I will do anything to appease anyone in order to avoid them, but I couldn't hold this in. I confronted him and he denied, denied, denied. He fed me this sob story on how she was interested in him and he kept trying to

blow her off, but she wouldn't leave him alone and started telling him how she was suicidal, and he just didn't feel like he could just stop talking to her. He was trying to help her. He never hesitated. He never flinched. He didn't know he was about to get caught, but the story came flying out of his mouth. I definitely had doubts. I knew he was lying, but he's still here planning on moving in with me, so why would he be looking for another girlfriend if he knows we're about to move in together? These are the conversations I had in my head to rationalize it and everything else. Things were a little different after that. I started to think about things he said to me before and wondering if they were lies. One thing that I could just could never let go of was he had said that his ex and him broke up

like seven months before we started talking. But looking at his Facebook page, it looked to me like they had literally just broke up right before we met. I asked about it early on and he gave me the story of her editing the page to make it look like that, just to mess with him. When we met, I mean, I had no reason not to believe him, but now I've been around the block with him and was beginning to see his little white lies. I was still committed, but now I had doubts in the back of my mind. I mean, what else has he lied about? I could lean on a few of my friends for advice, but for the

most part, I just kept all this to myself. Except for my best friend at work. She had been trying to be supportive of our relationship because she wanted me to be happy. But after this, she was done. She wanted me to get away from him. He was not good for me. He just never gave you that great feeling in your gut, but you wanted to believe in some happiness for Leslie because she was feeling it. But what I started seeing is how hard she started working. Because basically she's pointing Cody and Jase.

And I just felt like she was wearing like a dog. I think Cody weasel just weigh in to talking about moving in together. Well, of course he does. Just another way to munch. And I think she really believed in maybe they had a future together as far as marriage or being together and she knew that she would have to separate as far as living in the same house with Stacy and she's quite afford that so she's trying to work more and support this household. If she was going to sell the house, she'd have to get it ready. And he just like didn't do anything. I think you played video games. I started really disliking him because I was like, I mean, you poor thing like you're exhausted. Now you're picking up ships on night shift and you're working overtime all the time

and that's hard because Jayce she has to leave with her family, which they loved him eventually. Cody ends up watching him some. And then he started getting these out. For some members, she would come to work and we talk about her. She called me or where she was like, God, his road rage is just out of control. Like, nothing I've ever seen. She goes, it's so embarrassing. And it scares me and scares Jace. And I'm like, okay, that's temporary. That's scary. You know, you don't want to be with someone like that. That from basically no reason is flying off the handle. And then more things weren't adding up like she caught him talking to another girl or planning a date. And then Leslie finds out from his sister about the disability. It's not

the story he told Leslie. So it's just all these things like, why would you lie? It didn't make sense. But he always had a story like he wouldn't hesitate. He wouldn't stutter. People that are masters at this, it is convincing. So I could see where Leslie coming up caught up on it because he was still trying to show her affection and love bombing. At that point, Leslie had been with him long enough to see his words, no matches, actions. I remember going over there after he moved in, he took up the whole room for like his car collection or micro machines or whatever it was he collected. I can't remember now, it's like toys. She was really trying to accommodate it,

but I think it just got to a point where she knew she was like, I can't be in this relationship. It wasn't adding anything to her life. It was draining her completely. I think as time was going on, his mask was wearing thin and he was getting caught into me lies and I don't think he could keep up with him anymore.

Things just really started spiraling. And then she started getting scared because she was like he's gonna flip out when I tell him I don't want to be with him anyone that knows Leslie knows that she hates confrontation and I think she was kind of feeling conflicted to like is he gonna have anywhere to go? He doesn't have any money, but she was like pay for my own good I've got to end this and we talked about it so often. And I would just tell her like, I'm here to support you, but I do think you need to get rid of him. I think she had her mind made up like I'm done with this.

I just got to figure out how to get out of it. I don't know how much of that Cody necessarily knew at the time. I think she was just trying to keep harmony in the house until she could get all her ducks in a row. They have to have someone to boost their ego, but take care of them financially, emotionally. There was nothing that he ever did on his own. I mean, he was just completely selfish.

He would have found another victim if he really knew Leslie was done. And I think he was probably trying the whole time to see what else was out there. I knew what she was saying was right, but I wasn't ready to face that truth yet. Around the third week of May, Cody moved in. I wasn't sure moving in together was the right decision anymore, but there is no way I could say that to Cody now. Confrontation, no thank you. So I was willing to take this step to at least get out of living with my sister. I could deal with the rest later. The day Cody moved in, Jace spent the

night with Stacy. Several days later, Stacy called me towards the end of my shift at work. She wanted to let me know that when Jace spent the night at her house, he told her Cody shook him. She said when she asked him to explain it to her, all Jace could say was, I don't know. This is how Jace responded often to things when he didn't know how to say something. I really didn't know what to think of this or how to react to what she was telling me. I didn't even think Jace knew what the word shake or shook meant, and I'd never heard him use that word.

He wasn't even three. I told Stacey all about Cody calling me and telling me about the incident with Jason jumping on the bed. I figured, I mean if Cody did get angry, he just got down at eye level and grabbed Jason by the shoulders to get his attention. I never saw any bruises to indicate anything had happened. Until this day, I had still never seen Cody get angry or violent with Jason. When it came to Jason, he was this big teddy bear. But I told her I would try to figure out what happened. I was scared to death to bring it up to Cody. Considering the strange relationship he had with my sister, I knew if I said to him so she told me Jace said you shook him. His anger would escalate, which had already been doing. He would say Stacey is trying to

cause problems, she's always blaming him for everything, she's trying to control me and just trying to get him in trouble. And he would probably forbid me from speaking to her anymore and say, Jay's couldn't go over there. So I didn't know the best way to approach this conversation. From the minute he moved in, I knew this was a huge mistake. This is not what I was looking for. What am I going to do? I had let another a huge mistake. This is not what I was looking for. What am I going to do?

I had let another child move in. He took over a whole bedroom with his freaking hot wheels collection. The spare bedroom was now his man cave. He was trying to put up music and movie posters all over the house. I mean, how could I say no? We were now using most of his stuff and most of his furniture, so I didn't really feel like I had a say in the matter. And we now live with his pit bull dog. The dog was great, but still, I'm telling you. I had let a teenager living in a man's body move in with me, and this was going to be the rest of my life. I was panicking at side, and he changed. He got what he wanted wanted and now the real hint could start coming out He was no longer being as helpful. He was extra moody all the time I felt like whatever I said would make a mad so I just chose to not have an opinion most of the time

But that had the mind game trick of making me feel like I was doing something wrong like I wasn't being what he wanted Wait a minute. I still have the fairy tale to work out. How do we get back to where we were? How can I change the police him? I would go back and forth from wanting to be done, to wanting it to work. I was getting depressed, but I couldn't let him see that. As much as I wanted this relationship to work,

I knew I also needed an exit plan. As it was right now, I could not afford to make it in this house without him. I couldn't afford the mortgage on my own. I was drowning in credit card debt thanks to living off of my credit cards through college and a tiny spending habits. I needed to continue to pick up extra shifts, continue to get the house ready to further market and get this house sold. Then I would be free to make a decision. I used to be that person that said, who cares? You're in a bad situation and you just need to get out so do it. People had to understand it's just not that easy, especially with a child to provide for what

was I going to do. I would have to foreclose on my house, but my sister's name was on the house as well. It would ruin her financially too. And I'm the one who pushed the smooth. My parents couldn't help me, they were going through enough, I couldn't go to them, could I even afford to live on my own? Who wants to be roommates with a woman and her kid? These were all the thoughts that were running through my head, not to mention what Cody would do if I tried to make him leave.

I never thought he would hurt me or Jace, but I was afraid he would threaten to kill himself and he would never leave me alone. It would be constant sob stories and I would take him back. We were all he had. He had nowhere to go. So what if he actually killed himself? How could I live with that on my conscience? Now to add to my stress, his mother was going to stay with us for a few weeks

while she recovered from shoulder surgery so we could help her. I thought this was very sweet that he wanted to do this for his mom. One day, he was gone running an errand and his mother and I were just in the house talking. She gets a text from him and starts laughing. She told me what it said. It was from Cody, asking his mom not to talk about any of his past relationships no matter what. That was one more confirmation for me in his lives. He was afraid she would tell me that he and his ex had just broken up before we met. I was done being the rebound girl. I would have never have dated him in the first place if I knew that was the case.

Wouldn't she told me other things about this past that didn't match up with the stories? I could see right through this. It wasn't long before they were fighting, and I could see some of how Cody turned out the way he was. He was trying to help her, but he didn't care about her enough, he wasn't treating her well enough. This was Cody. He learned how to always be the victim from his mom. But like it wasn't his fault the way he is, this kind of made me feel sorry for him in a way. Jason's third birthday was coming up soon, so Cody and I went to Walmart while J.S. stayed with his

mom so we could look for a present. On the way to Walmart, he said J.S. had been in his room watching cartoons and kept getting in trouble because he was jumping on the bed. He said he went in there several times, threatening to put him in time out. I guess the last time Cody went into his room, J.S. said no Cody and pushed him out of the door. And that was one of Jason's normal tactics. When he knew he was doing something, he shouldn't. He would push

you out the door so you wouldn't see him. Cody thought it was funny and said he didn't have that heart to put him in time out. A couple days later, Jason Cody picked me up from work one night and we stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Jason and I stayed in the car while Cody was inside. As soon as Cody started walking away from the car, Jay said to me, Cody mad at me? I replied, no honey, why would Cody be mad at you? Jay said, because I jumped on the bed, Cody shaped me.

I asked several times what he meant and to explain what happened, and all he would reply was, I don't know. I told him no money, Cody isn't mad at you. He just didn't want you to follow get hurt while you're jumping on the bed. I asked Cody, so Jay thinks you're mad at him. He asked why. I said, well because he got in trouble when he was jumping on the bed.

Did you just maybe get a little too rough with him? I was scared to use the word shake. He said no, of course not. He was very upset that Jayce thought he was mad at him and didn't know why he would think that. He seemed so remorseful and I believed him. As soon as we got home, he went straight into Jayce's room to tell him he was sorry and that of course he wasn't mad at him. He just didn't want him to get hurt. They hugged, Cody read him a book and they said, good night. I considered the issue resolved. Jace turned three on June 5th, 2010. About a week later, on June 12th, 2010,

that day was the worst day of my life. Next time on something was wrong. Next time, on something was wrong. There's a good liar. There is only one cause and his name is Cody. There is no other plausible scenario. I just remember my heart breaking for her. Explaining to the jury, this is not an accident. This is who he is.

He abuses children. He is just a arrogant, manipulative, selfish human being. They're masters. These people like Cody. They plan what's already going on. They show me one thing to my face, but then when I'm gone, I feel like something else is going on. They're very good at what they do. I'm gone, I feel like something else is going on. They're very good at what they do. For information about how and where to file a report of suspected child abuse or neglect, call the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline.

Child help can be reached seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and it's toll-free number, 1-800-4-A-Child. hours a day and it's toll-free number 1-800-4-A child that is 1-800-422-4453. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe friends. Something was wrong is a broken cycle media production created and hosted by me, Tiffany Rees. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow something was wrong on Instagram.

At something was wrong podcast. Our theme song was composed by Glad Rags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.