Something Was Wrong - S17 E5: Verdict

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

*Content Warning: murder of a child, child abuse, infant abuse, depression, anxiety, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, murder, child murder. *Sources: KJRH -TV | Tulsa | Channel 2, Feb 24, 2012, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecFgKx9Dyis http://asecondmiracle.blogspot.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening, add free on Wondering Plus. Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences. It discusses topics that can be upsetting and triggering, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, child abuse, and murder. Content warnings for each episode are at the top of episode notes. And confidential and free resources for survivors can be found linked in our episode notes as well as on our website. Something was wrong.com

slash resources. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes. Testimony shared by guests on the show is their own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, something was wrong, broken cycle media, or wondering. The podcast and any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is any of the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. Thank you so much for listening. Please note, this episode discusses injuries to a child, child abuse, including an infant and the murder of a child. Please use extra caution when listening. As always, you can find our full content warning for each episode at the top of the episode notes. Thank you.

There's no doubt that Stacy and my wife, they grieved in very different ways. Stacy's more... She's more apt to tell you how she feels. My wife is not. I was trying not to be too judgmental about anything because I just think so little when I first came in. I can see that she had a love for this child that was deep. I mean, as much as I love children, I had never considered adoption before that. I have a great respect for anyone that takes in a child and treats it as their own.

During the trial stuff, I tell her, don't listen to the news. You know the comments section. I wrote a statement for the press at one point because people were saying terrible things about our family, that they read down the news. We did not do any interviews. We've been through a lot of news coverage after when I'd been shot. I think we learned some lessons there. I had no desire to be on the news. And so we released a statement,

and then my sister and I and my mom got involved in something called March Against Child Abuse, where we did a walk or a march or a protest bringing attention to child abuse. As a part of advertising or promoting that, my sister and I didn't interview with the newspaper maybe a year later. That was about the extent of talking about it. I did blog at the time just to kind of help me deal with grief. My mom and I handled grief very differently. My mom likes to celebrate his birthday every year by taking cupcakes to his grave and singing happy birthday, which I find very painful and I do not enjoy it. That's her way of grieving and dealing with it. And so I usually go and try to support her with that,

but it is not my preference. I'm usually a verbal processor, but I did not like really talking about it. And my mom always wanted to talk about it. My mom wanted me and Leslie to make her feel better, and I just wanted my mom to make me feel better, to be my mom and tell me everything was going to be okay. The trial was over a year after J. Stied. My dad had already died. Here's DA, Cali Strain. We know it's all on our shoulders.

We know that winter lose, it's on us. Whatever decision we made in that trial, it's us. We have however many days to present this and And you walk in worrying the words I use in opening, are they going to be strong enough? Are they going to be good enough? The words that I use in closing, are they going to be strong enough? Are they going to be good enough? Are they going to be what is needed to get the street to understand everything that they just heard throughout the week? I remember at one point, Leslie's family came up to the, they called the bar between where like the gallery is and where the attorney said, they came up

and they just said, please don't take this the wrong way, but you and Sarah are starting to look really bad. You guys have cold, you're coughing, you're getting sick. And I'll never forget that because they said, so here we've got you some cough drops and here some medicine for you. And it was just so sweet because I never realized until they mentioned it that Sarah and I were both starting to get sick just because our bodies were trying to keep up with everything that we needed to do.

But again, that just goes to show you what a sweet, sweet thing this is. They were sticking to the defense that he had just fallen off the bed. And that's what caused all these injuries and Cody's explanations for all the previous injuries. They were sticking to it and weren't coming off of it. We had grabbed Jace almost like handlebars on his ears and we're pinching him in a combination of he had hit him in the ears and had hit him so hard that it also caused bruising. It was the combination of force to the ears where he was grabbing on to them and shaking him. The defense put on two witnesses. Here's Leslie's best friend, Lauren. I don't remember their words they used, but I remember thinking, God, I would not be happy

if that was my attorney. Looking back, he probably did the best he could with what he had. But Leslie's attorney, gosh, she was so powerful. Cody's defense team weren't the greatest, and they never seemed prepared, even though they delayed the trial multiple times in order to prepare. The defense attorney his family hired in the end was useless. She only made the state's case look better. The defense tried to discredit every expert witness and every time they just helped the prosecution because the experts were able to counter everything they said with even more evidence. The

defense tried to blame the bleed on a bleeding disorder, a vitamin deficiency, or his pre-matured. A bleeding disorder had already been ruled out by the pediatrician and a lab test done while he was in the hospital. There was no evidence of a vitamin deficiency or nutritional concern. The defense claimed that they decided who did it from the very start and were biased and never looked outside of him for any other suspects, and they were just out to get Cody because he was an easy target.

The defense only had two witnesses. One witness was the brain surgeon that performed surgery on Jace. The defense could only use him as a fact witness, and not an expert witness, because they didn't provide appropriate discovery to the state, meaning they had to tell the prosecution what he would be testifying to in advance, so they could develop an argument against him. They didn't do that. The only other witness was a physician from an urgent care. Pre-trial defense claimed this witness would testify that in this case, the medical records are inconsistent with Shaken Baby Syndrome. The state wanted to know what credentials and specialized education he had to make him an expert in Shaken Baby Syndrome. This witness had never been to a conference specializing in this, he had never taught

in the field, or testified in any other trials as an expert witness, like all of the state's expert's had. On cross-examination, he agreed that Jace died by blunt force trauma to the head and the cause being homicide. The prosecution pointed out and he agreed that in order to come to a definitive conclusion, you needed all the information. The medical records and those testimonies of the people involved in J.S. care. But he only reviewed the medical records.

He did not see photographs of the residents. He did not see the recording of Cody's taped interview. He did not listen to Cody's videotape interview. He did not read the police reports or any reports my sister or I had made. He did not read the reports of anyone who was around Jset Day. He was not given any explanations Cody made regarding the injury to any law enforcement agencies 911 or DHS. He didn't consult with any physicians who treated Jets during his childhood or immediate care. He only reviewed the medical records given to him by the defense.

He was not given information regarding the other child. I blame all of this on the defense. They should have given him this in order for him to have the full picture, but they did not provide him with the correct information he needed to make a conclusion. He couldn't cite any articles he's read, citing cases of shaken baby syndrome. The prosecution pointed to the fact that he said this injury would have happened 12 to 24 hours prior to 911 being called. However, this physician hadn't heard testimony that Jay said gone to the animal shelter that day. They

had gone to my sister's house that evening and was running around, playing and eating, and seeing by other people acting just fine. He testified he had no knowledge of the other baby's case. Cody was not called as a witness by either the prosecution or the defense. The defense called only two witnesses. One was a surgeon that had previously operated on Jace. He explained in depth the surgery he did on Jace in the hours after Jace was transported to the hospital. Amidst his testimony, the prosecution had to remind the defense that this surgeon was in fact not an expert and quote, there is absolutely no foundation for him to testify as an expert in the timing of

the injury. Nor is there any information or documentation in the medical records about that. For those reasons, we completely object to this line of questioning." This issue concluded shortly after that as did the surgeon's time on the stand. The next witness for the defense was originally unavailable when the court was ready for him. The defense stated that because the court was running behind, but as the DA stated to the judge, quote, we have had to reschedule multiple doctors because of, with all due respect, the defendant and his medical condition. Yet we have not asked for any type of continuance. We have had our witnesses here when they needed to be here. It's only noon. They only had one other witness, and we've already asked

so much of this jury and of this family. I don't see any reason why we should continue this into yet another day." Still, the judge allowed a recess until the next day. It was then that the next witness arrived. This witness was also a doctor, although this one was an internal medicine physician and pediatrician that had never seen Jason as a patient. As Leslie shared, he was there to state that he believed the injuries that Jason sustained didn't happen within 3 hours of his hospital visit, but more likely within 12 to 24 hours before Jason arrived to the hospital.

However, soon after the doctor on the stand shared, he had only seen 15 to 20 cases of shaken baby syndrome and confirmed he was in no way an expert on the subject. He also had never been an expert witness before, nor had he ever been an educator on the topic. He had never had continued education about shaken baby syndrome at professional conferences. The defendant's witness did not contest the facts that Jason was abused and murdered. He also admitted that he had never conferred with any other medical professionals related to Jason's case.

Eventually, the DA asked the doctor, quote, would you agree in talking about the importance of this particular case and then the importance of any criminal case, that it's critical that you have all the information that you need to make an important decision? In fact, you testified earlier that before rendering an opinion, it's important for you doctor to have as much data as you can. End quote.

However, directly after confirming that data is essential to being an expert witness, the doctor admitted to having never seen any of the police reports regarding Jason's death, or any photographs of the home. He'd also not reviewed Cody's interrogation tapes, nor had he seen any police reports regarding Cody's ex-girlfriend, Samantha. This doctor, despite saying he believed the injury may have happened 12 to 24 hours before Jace was admitted to the hospital, also reported not knowing that Jace had spent the day at the animal shelter. The doctor admitted he was unaware he had played with friends at his aunt's house hours

before the injury. The doctor then admitted that he didn't know Cody stated he had had a conversation with Jace only two hours before he was raised to the injury. The doctor then admitted that he didn't know Cody stated he had had a conversation with Jace only two hours before he was raised to the hospital. He also didn't know that Jace had no bruises before Leslie left for work. The DA went on to show this doctor pictures of Samantha's daughter's injuries. He responded, quote, they look very similar, and quote, at least twice. Not long after, he was released from witness duties. Here's Officer Kathy Still. The defense, on cases, in my opinion, so clear cut, when they don't have anything to argue,

they attack the police officers, they attack the doctors, they attack the credibility of the professional witnesses that are testifying. At first, I used to take that really personally, because I have integrity. I would never lie. I want to get a conviction, but I would never make stuff up or falsify anything. And I was accused of that by defense attorneys in closing several times. And I was always taken aback, and then I was reminded,

if that's what they're coming at with you, that means you did an incredible investigation, and they don't have anything else to attack. So I'm like, oh, okay. They don't have anything else to attack. So I'm like, oh, okay. The closing arguments were, it's almost like a game of jazzed in a weird sort of way. The prosecutors say they're a little bit,

and then the defense gets to say a bit, and then the prosecutor gets to say the last words. I was fortunate if on all my other criminal cases because closing arguments are open I would always go in and say I'm closing arguments on bigger cases that I could just to show support. A lot of the victims I had during my time there didn't have family members that were there. It would just be the police officers that were the only people sitting there for the victim. The prosecutors on this case, Kaylee, Strain, and Sarah McCameis, like I said, they are two

of the best prosecutors I have ever worked with in my 30 years. Sarah, especially, wasn't as so incredible at prosecuting these cases. She is just emotionally invested from beginning to end her sole purpose as getting justice for her victims, watching her through the whole trial, watching her through the whole trial, watching her closing arguments. We were only allowed to be in there for the closing arguments. It was interesting. One thing she pointed out was that the other child who gig he'd hurt, the one that I emailed her mom, had similar bruises on her ears as the one that Jace had that were not explained. And she actually showed those

pictures side by side to show that this was a pattern that this is something he had done before. That was really powerful. Her closing statement, I remember feeling wowed, like the chills and it felt very strong. You could just fill the energy in the room. It's just so magnetic. She was making appointments. She made it well, and she's going to no matter what she just does for Jace. That's how it felt. During her closing statements, DA strain started by thanking the

jury for their attention and endurance. She said, quote, it's been the state's burden of proof to prove to you beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant committed child abuse murder. It is the state's burden of proof and we gladly accept that. And we take the duty extremely seriously. The judge talked to you about different ways that the state of Oklahoma can prove their case.

First of all, he talked to you about common sense. I don't know if you heard how often the judge told you to use common sense. Through this whole trial, listening to every bit of evidence, you use your common sense. Every one of you brought your life experiences to this case. You do not leave those at home every day that you came here. You didn't leave them in your car when you came in today. You did not leave them outside in that lobby and you certainly are not going't leave them in your car when you came in today. You did not leave them outside in that lobby, and you certainly are not going to leave them in this courtroom when you walk out to decide guilt or innocence today.

You've got photos, you've got audio tapes, you've got video tapes of the defendant's interviews. The judge told you that the evidence on Samantha's daughter can be used in this case in your deliberations in making your decision. We do not have to prove to you that the defendant intended to kill Jace. We do not have to prove to you that he intended to injure Jace. We have to prove to you that whatever caused that injury is not an accident, and that his death resulted from the willful or malicious use of unreasonable force. How do you know it's the defendant? Because the judge told you that you can use your common

sense. And every piece of evidence that you've heard over the past two weeks, common sense tells you that the defendant murdered Jace Burgess. They ended with closing statements. That was the only part of the trial I was allowed to be in. The DA strongly advised me not to, but I insisted. She finally had to tell me I might not want to be in there because she will have to say things about me that I might want to hear. That didn't sway me. I knew anything she had to say about my actions or inactions for things I've already said myself. I'm going to read some of the closing arguments because they are so powerful. What was the last thing Jay saw? It was his new daddy coming

after him full of rage and full of anger because you must be consumed with rage and consumed with anger to do what he did to that little boy. How terrifying that was for Jace. Jace had nowhere to go. Jace had nowhere to run. Jace had no one to turn to for help. Jace had no way to protect himself or fight back. He was no match for his new daddy. What do you think was going through Jace's mind?

Jace didn't mean to be tired and cranky that day. He didn't mean to interrupt his video game. What do you think Jace felt in those last horrifying moments where we know he was trying to get away from him? What do you think he felt? How bad did this hurt? How bad did this hurt? How bad did this hurt? I hope that when Jace got this, he was knocked unconscious and didn't feel anymore. Do you think at that point he was unconscious or did he hang on for just a few more minutes. And if he did, what did he see when it was hanging on for just a few more minutes? Did he see this defendant coming to his aid? Did he see his new daddy trying to help him? The 911 call contains the very last sounds that

Jason ever made on this earth. How long did the defendant stand by and watch him? How long was he suffering? You know, when you look back over the little bits and pieces of truths and misdrues that the defendant gave, he says he was asleep. He also says he was playing video games, and he was fully dressed when 911 got there. But there's something significant to the defendant about 108 AM, but 911 wasn't called until 127 AM. What was he doing all that time? When you listen to the neurocry, Jace makes on the 911 call. When you listen to him gasping for air, can you imagine any humans

standing by for one minute, for two minutes, for five minutes, for 19 minutes, can you imagine any human being reacting and responding the way he does on that 911 call? The kid is dying before his eyes. I don't care what you've done or how much trouble you're in, or you're going to be in, or whether you're afraid that you're going to prison for the rest of your life. You step up.

There's a kid dying in front of you. You step up and you do the right thing. There's so many what-ifs in this case, it makes you crazy to go back and look at them all. What have charges had been filed back in 2002? What if the ER doctor had called in a referral to the Department of Human Resources? What if he said, you know, it doesn't matter how busy we are, it doesn't matter that I'm a physician and not a social worker?

I'm going to take the time, I'm going to stop, and I'm going to do it. Would we be here? What if the pediatrician had called in a referral? What about Leslie's sister? The defense claimed that none of this makes any sense because if she had legitimate concerns and she used to work for protective services, she didn't call it in. When you think about calling in an allegation of child abuse and reporting that, I would hope that if every single one of us would say that if we suspect it, we would call it in. But when you're talking

about your own family, it makes it a little bit more difficult. And then you narrow it down, and you've been a part of the system. And you know exactly what you're going to be asked. It makes it even more difficult. How does this referral go? I'd like to report a two-year-old that says Cody shake me.

He has bruises on his ears, but here's the thing. He's been seen by two different doctors. Did those doctors call it in? No, but here's the thing. He also has seen by two different doctors. Did those doctors call it in? No. But here's the thing. He also has a past history of child abuse with another baby. Was DHS involved at the time? Yes. Is the case closed? Yes. Okay, call us back when you get something more. Can we call them back now until then we have a dead child? Don't you think that every single day for the rest of her life she'll ask herself what she should have done? You may question her, you may be mad at her, but that doesn't mean he is not guilty.

That doesn't mean that he should not be held responsible and accountable for what he did. Probably the biggest what if in this case is Leslie. How could somebody so smart be so dumb? You know, when you're single parent, you're not just responsible for yourself, you're responsible for that little life. You shouldn't be out meeting men online and then jumping in with both feet without a care in the world. And if you do, and you start having questions and concerns, maybe you back off a little bit. If you find out something that could impact your child, if you find out he's been involved in another child abuse situation, I don't care what he tells you or what explanation he gives. You find out what really happened before you move this man into your house.

And if you have bruises and unexplained injuries when he's alone with this man, you pump the brakes, you back up, you do more. Could she have, should she have, what she have? You can be mad at her all day long. You can think she's the dumbest person in the world. But she will spend every day for the rest of her life wishing she could do it all over again. She will spend every day for the entire rest of her life realizing that she is the one who moved the man in who killed her son.

But does that mean he's not responsible? Does that mean he shouldn't be held accountable? Be mad at her all you want, second guess her all you want, but do justice for Jace. That was very hard to hear, but it was also true. All the things I wish I would have done differently for the rest of my life. She said they would be negligent not to discuss the case with the other mom and baby. It's a carbon copy of two worlds, two similar to ignore. At the time he started dating her, she was living with her mom and sister.

I was living with my sister when we met. She had a low self-esteem and depression. I had a low self-esteem and depression. She needed and wanted a father for her child. I needed and wanted a father for Jace. Their relationships. With her very serious, very fast, with me, very serious, very fast. Both dated for about four months.

Both lived together for three weeks before the devastating injuries. Even after the injuries, there's a period of time where we both believed him. He doesn't start blaming us until they start blaming him. He states in his own handwriting, he was there with a baby, but on his interview with investigators, now he says he was at work. He describes how he found both of them, limp, eyes rolling back, not breathing right. If he didn't do it, then who did? He blamed both sisters. If he didn't, then who did? He blamed both moms. She talked about his actions right after leaving the hospital. Jase is about to die, and he goes to get his TV. What does that tell you?

And he leaves a re note. I'll give it back when I get all my stuff. Let me know when the kids dead. The text messages he sent me a week after J. Stied. I wouldn't lie about what happened with she was found guilty of child abuse. If you don't show up for court, you automatically lose the emergency protective order case. He had a seizure and now they want to blame it on me. All I know is I let him sleep with me. I woke up to use the bathroom and he was unconscious. I told you what happened that night. Thanks for believing in me. Nice to know I can trust you." See, he's the victim here. He's always the victim. Not Jace. Jace is dead. Cody is still

living and breathing the same air you and I are. When you read these text messages and you remember and hear from Leslie about how manipulative he was and how he would twist and distort everything and how she would confront him with something and by the time he was all done explaining it to her, he was making her feel bad about even confronting it with it. You can see from these text messages how he twists it. Her son is dying, her son is dead, and what does he say to her? Nice to know I can trust you. I don't know if I will ever be able to rebuild. Worst of all, everyone's blaming me. No, sir.

Worst of all, Jase is dead. We don't need a bevy of experts to come in here and tell you what is common sense. Do any of you believe for one minute that Leslie, who adopted this miracle baby and cared for him and loved him well through the breathing treatments, through the medications, through the feeding tube, through all the sleepless nights, that after the dinner party, as she's tucking him into bed and saying

prayers, she brutally abuses him, and that he's right there in the same place, and never hears it, never sees it, and then she leaves him there to die. In this state, if you find him guilty, there are only two options. Life with parole and life without parole. Maybe give him life with parole would be acceptable. Maybe if one time you horribly lost control, but you stood up and you did the right thing, and you did everything you could to help, and you said you were sorry and you accepted responsibility maybe. But he will not do that. So he deserves life without parole. After you reach your verdict, I asked you to do one last thing. I ask you to put away all the horrible images and I ask you to take a look at this picture. And I ask you to remember Jace for the miracle baby that he was. For the happy,

smiling three-year-old that he was, he deserves to be remembered that way. She just put everything through the whole week of all the testimony, put it all together and sum it up. When she was finished, I was like, there is no way this jury cannot convict him. There's just no way. They did an incredible job with the case. But then once it goes to the jury and the jurors leave and they go back for their deliberation, you just wait and you wait. And sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's hours, sometimes it's days before they make a decision and then you can start thinking,

maybe that person wasn't angry at what they were hearing, maybe they were angry at the police officer or the doctor and maybe they don't believe us. It was very emotional, the whole entire trial was very emotional for the jury. There were probably about 40 people waiting with us for the verdict. Wow, the jury was deliberating.

When they said that the jury had come back, we all gathered in a circle and prayed and we're like moderately religious, but it was a really powerful moment and even have a friend who was agnostic, atheist, somewhere in between there. She said that was one of the most moving spiritual experiences that she'd ever had.

I think it was just a really a feeling of like support and love and compassion in that room. It was really special. We went to this room to wait. The jury was out. And I don't remember how long I don't know if I'd just have blocked this out of my memory. I don't know, but I remember in the room

and we were really, really nervous. We were just sitting around just waiting and the attorney came in and talked to Leslie a little bit and it was just a waiting game. And she's just on pins and needles. She's a heart racing. She came and got us and was like, the verdict's in. We gotta go back to the court room so we go down.

And we're all just sitting there. It's quiet. It's like a really, really quiet. You get here a pen drop and they read the verdict. So many of my friends came to support us that I felt calm. The jury sent a note to the judge after three hours, asking him if they all had to agree on the sentence. That was a good sign. At about nine o'clock that night, we were back in the courtroom ready to hear the

verdict. Count one, child abuse murder in the first degree. We the jury and panelled time ready to hear the verdict. Count one, Child of You Smirter in the first degree. We the jury, and paneled and sworn in the above titled cause, do upon our oaths, find as follows. The defendant is guilty and fixed punishment at life and a fine of $10,000. We're falling into developing story tonight. Just over an hour ago, a Tulsa County jury found Cody Sarton guilty of killing a toddler. He was charged with first degree murder for killing his girlfriend's three-year-old boy back in 2010. Doctors say the injuries were due to shaken baby syndrome. The jury recommended life in prison

and a $10,000 fine sentencing is April 9. When they came back and they read the verdict, it was just such relief. I was just so happy. But sad at the same time because still, Jason had lost his life, but I was so happy that I felt like through everything that we had as a team done together got justice for him and Cody, hopefully, we'll never get out of prison and never be around any other children again. To be honest, I hope you guys in prison. I remember feeling so much relief. It was so emotional because you wanted the justice so bad and it was finally there and you got it and it was almost like this huge weight was lifted. I mean huge weight. You're just so happy that justice was served. I mean, you're never going to

get Jace bag, which is the saddest part, but you just the best thing that could have come of this happened. And that was he's getting put away. But as far as like, what did Leslie do or what did I do or what do we do after that? I, and it's been this way for a lot of years. I can't remember. I don't know if that was part of my trauma. Or by time all those emotions got released, it's almost like I can't remember. It's like I've just blocked out a little bit, but I do remember there was tears, there was happiness. This evil monster was getting put away. You can't hurt anybody else.

We were even able to talk to some members of the jury after the trial. The two choices were life and prison with the possibility of parole or without the possibility of parole. And one person would not agree to without the possibility of parole. They didn't want to have a hung jury because of that. They suggested the sentence of life in prison with the possibility of parole, so that's what the judge did. The foreman of the jury was very kind to us and talked to us afterwards. They all talked about how they felt like Jace was a very special and they were

very moved by his story. What did it feel like that day when the guilty verdict came in for all of the family? Oh my gosh, just the most incredible feeling of justice, because it doesn't always turn out like that. I was just afraid you'd never know. And the fact that it went our way was such an answer to prayer. Justice was done. Something that was frustrating was that we had all written victim impact statements and the judge would not allow us to read them.

They had even asked the little girl that Cody had heard before to write a statement. He said that they would all be a part of the court record, but that he was not going to allow them to be read in court. That was upsetting. Leslie and my mom read theirs, but they didn't allow mine or the other little girl's statements to be read, but he did let me speak.

So that was frustrating. I'd say my mom was very relieved at the trial and her focus, her victim statement, was a lot about how wonderful Jace was and missing him and what was taken from her, which was nice, because it wasn't a lot of like anger spewed towards Cody. It was more just, let's remember Jace. So that was pretty special. The sentence came in April of that year. I finally got to face Cody and tell him how I felt. This is my victim impact statement. Cody, I have been waiting a year and ten months for this moment. I don't even know where to begin. I could try to think of

something profound and meaningful to say, but when I look at your face and hear your name, I feel nothing but anger and rage. For almost two years now, I have put on a mask. I appear strong. I appear to be holding it together. I appear to be healing. Truth is, I am terrified of taking off that mask and facing myself in the mirror, facing the grief, facing the reality, facing the guilt. The reality and the guilt of knowing it was me who let you in my home. It was me who trusted you. It was me who let you completely take over our lives. It was me who let you change me into someone I can't imagine being now. It was me who believed all your lies. It was me who

didn't run for the hills. The minute I learned you had a protective order against you, no matter how old or how believable your explanation was. It was me who believed you over my own son when he tried to tell me you shook him, but he was two years old and didn't know how to explain himself. It was me who left you alone with my son that night. In June, 2007, when I took care of Jayce for the first time, and he was so sick that nothing I could do would make him breathe better, I just begged him to live and not die. I never

thought I would be his mother three years later at his bedside in an ICU and once again be begging him not to die. I never thought I would be facing a world without him. I never thought I would be bargaining with God to take my life and spare his. I never thought I would be begging God to just let Jayce spare his. I never thought I would be begging God to just let Jace wake up. He has to wake up. No matter how neurologically impaired or handicapped he would be, I promised him I would make him better like I did before. I still have dreams about Jace that he is alive but hurt in some way and I can't fix him no matter how hard I try. These dreams are hard, but I cherish them because for those few minutes he is still with me and it feels so real. Then I have to wake up and face the reality.

The reality that my child is dead, and he is not just dead, he was brutally murdered. Murdered by a man who claimed to love him as his own. Murdered by a coward who won't man up and take responsibility for his actions. Murdered by a man who won't admit he took another life. Murdered by a man who will continue to lie until the day he dies and never give us an ounce of closure. How dare you? How dare you prey on women with small children who you know are physically and emotionally weak and you can control? How dare you manipulate everyone in your life no matter who you hurt as long as Cody gets his way? How dare you continue to in your life no matter who you hurt as long as Cody gets his way.

How dare you continue to lie to your family and manipulate them into believing every word that comes out of your mouth just like you did to me. How dare you take from this earth the only thing that ever mattered to me. The only person that loved me unconditionally gave me purpose, made me feel alive and gave me something to live for when I felt hopeless. How dare you take from this earth the spark that ignited life into every person in my family who changed us, brought us together, made us laugh, made us smile even when we didn't want to, made us proud. How dare you take from this earth the miracle that was Jace Burgess, the 1.5 pound being

that fought so immeasurably hard to be all the odds when no one thought he would make it. Day after day he proved us wrong. He was a testament to what the power of love and determination can accomplish. My parents were born to be grandparents. How dare you take away my mother's joy and light. How dare you take away my father's will to fight the cancer that took his life. How dare you take from my sister this little boy that she hilt raised, loved like her own, taught to be silly and shine the light of Jesus to all around him. But most importantly, how dare you hurt an innocent child who can't defend himself, and not just one child, but two. You looked me in the eyes over and over and fed me lies, acted like the perfect parent, knowing behind closed doors when no one else was watching, you looked me in the eyes over and over and fed me lies, acted like the perfect

parent, knowing behind closed doors when no one else was watching you were hurting Jace. The only thing that matters to you is Cody. Have you stopped for one minute to think about how your actions affect the lives of others and not just affect us but changes forever? Have you not want stopped to think about what you took from this world? As we sat in the St. Francis ER waiting room on June 13, 2010, in the middle of the night, before we even knew the extent of the injuries, before we knew what happened and before anyone was being blamed, you cried in my arms, saying you

prayed so long for a son and a family, and now was being taken away from you. All you cared about was Cody, what was being taken from you. Not the fact that a little boy was lying in a coma, dying by your hands. You took a miracle from this world that proved he had so much potential and would do great things. He touched everyone around him. He had a glow surrounding him that was infectious, but he was no match for you. He was a fighter, but he couldn't fight the force being thrown at Gidgett him of Cody Sarton.

The hard truth is, I know in my heart, you will never take responsibility for your actions. You will never be an adult and take responsibility for murdering a child. Despite all the evidence and truth glaring at you in the face, despite of jury finding you unanimously guilty, you will never admit you killed my son. People think a life

sentence brings my family closure. Your life sentence means nothing, because I have a life sentence without the joy of my life. The only thing that will start to bring me closure is you taking responsibility for your actions and murdering my child. That is what I will pray for. Instead of me lashing out an anger towards you and your family, like you and your family have done to mine, I will pray for them to see the truth. The hardest part is knowing it was my poor decisions and judgment that let you into my life, let you control me, let you near my son. I will live with the unbearable guilt of what I did and didn't do for the rest of my life,

but I refuse to let it destroy me. It may cripple me, but when I fall, I will get right back up and keep walking. I will continue to fight because Jace can't. I will be his voice. I will take the mistakes that I have learned from, and armed with the education I now have. I will fight for children who don't have a voice, and I will fight for women like me. I will do what it takes to not let this happen again. I am living proof that people can make horrible mistakes, ask for forgiveness, receive forgiveness, even when it isn't deserved and live a blessed life.

Despite my mistakes, I have been blessed with a wonderful humble, god-fearing, hardworking husband and a precious son who has reminded me who I am and the power of love. Jace has a little brother he will never get to meet, but I will make sure my son knows all about his big brother, Jace. I was not able will never get to meet, but I will make sure my son knows all about his big brother Jace. I was not able to sit and listen in the trial, and it is probably best I didn't,

but someone who was in the courtroom the entire time summarized my thoughts perfectly. No description of anger could describe the rage, no emotion could describe the sadness, and no sickness could diagnose the disgust. There will be no more fake sickness, no more attempts at a mistrial, no more post-ponements from an unprepared attorney, no more excuses. You have been found guilty and will spend the rest of your life in prison. A sentence I believe is too easy on you for what you really deserve, but I take solace and knowing you will never have the opportunity to hurt another child. Never be able to manipulate and control another woman and I don't ever want to speak your name again. I want to celebrate Jason's precious, perfect little life. Celebrate his accomplishments. Celebrate his impact.

I don't want to focus on how he died. I want to remember him and cherish the memories of his life. And from this day forward, that is exactly what I will do. It's hard to put into words how I feel about the district attorney for crimes against children that try the case and the assistant district attorney. They have imprinted my heart in ways they cannot imagine. They worked so hard on this case and it was always about Jace. Not me, not Cody, they wanted justice for Jace. The DA is truly one of the most amazing and smartest people I have ever met.

She never hesitated, never faltered in questioning. She fought the defense at every angle. She was not to be bullied. She would shut you down and put you in your place in an instant. This case was almost two weeks long. It started on February 15th, and the jury came back with their verdict on February 24th.

There's been a handful of times that we've been able to talk to jurors after the case is closed, because obviously we can't have any contact with them after jury selection and then after the case begins, but once they return the verdict, sometimes they'll stay in one and talk to us. I remember sitting through that trial in Sarah and I, please don't take this as complaining, but we were probably getting about maybe two or three

hours of sleep each night just because we were so determined to have everything lined up and ready every single day. And then when you try a case like this, when you try any case as a prosecutor, but especially in crimes like this and in crimes that involve children, how we present the evidence, the order that we decide to put witnesses on, the questions that we ask,

we as the prosecutors are judged by the jury, and one juror tell me that the fact that I wore a tan suit distracted or because it did not go with my skin tone. Yes, this was a fair trial. And it's astonishing to me. I didn't realize I'm probably going to go into child crisis that there was that much involved in the cases. hindsight, it's easy. After everything happened, you start talking to everybody involved

and I've gathered up all these information and you put it all together It's so easy to look back and say why didn't I do this? Why didn't this doctor say this here? I was relieved that it was done, but also felt numb. I already knew he was guilty But Jace was still dead. Nothing could change that. The jury had a huge impact on me. They are my heroes. They found him unanimously guilty immediately. The only thing that held them up was the sentence. One juror disagreed with life without parole.

So the rest of the jury conceded to life so there wouldn't be a mistrial. They wanted justice for Jace. Cody must spend a minimum of 38 years in prison before he is considered for parole, and I'm okay with that. The jury continued to impact me after the trial. The formant of the jury commented on my sister's blog and said, Cody Sarton is a psychopath that prayed on women

and had no regard for life. His history of abusing children is beyond comprehension, but the murder of a helpless three-year-old child makes him a person that does not belong in society. Jace Burgess could not escape the beating that was inflicted that would ultimately lead to his death, and during his final minutes of his life, he was looking into the eyes of the person that was supposed to love him. We the jurors have no remorse for the verdict rendered, but are very saddened that Jace Burgess did not have a chance to grow up and reach his full potential in life. Someone commented and wanted to know why the defense didn't call his family to testify since they were on the witness list. The foreman replied, the family members of the defendant were not called to testify as they could only be called as a character witness. The final argument of the defense was that the timing of the bruises of which the

prosecuting attorney was successful if not brilliant, and getting the defendant's witness to state that it was possible that the bruising happened in the three-hour time period between June 12 and June 13. And as I previously stated, Cody Sarton had no regard for life, and from the facts given, I can't imagine that his character would have helped his defense. And I God bless this precious little boy who has touched the lives of 12 people

who did not know of him prior to this trial. I went back and looked at the court dockets and all the records on the case, and I found where he had filed a million times for some way to get out of prison without appealing. I can't remember what it was called. He appealed twice, got denied, and he was trying all these other angles, and it never worked. And then reading the reports, I looked out at the end, who signed it, and it was actually

one of my really good friends. Her brother works with the DA's office. It was actually him that wrote these reports. And I was like, I didn't know your brother was involved in this case at all. And maybe he couldn't tell her, they didn't want that to be known or something. It was like six degrees of separation.

And then I was at my cousin's wedding reception or a shower or something. And the court reporter was there. She happened to know the man my cousin was marrying. They'd gone to the same church. And so she actually is the one that got the whole transcript for me. She printed it and gave me all the binders. The only thing I don't have, which I'm looking into getting now that I've gone through all this, I don't have any of the states exhibits that were given pictures or text messages.

I want to hear the recording of his interviews. I want to hear what he said myself. I want to see those things, because that's how I am. I reached out to his sister. I didn't know if that was a right decision or not, but I was hoping maybe since so many years had passed that maybe he would have told his family what happened, and maybe they would have seen who he really is.

But that turned out not to be the case. His family still doesn't believe that he did anything wrong. Kind of like what I said to my sister, you can explain one protected order as bad luck, but not for, interesting, that very similar thing happened to two small children in his proximity but they still choose to believe that he's just around crazy women. That's pretty

troubling to me. One thing that was really hard, it was kind of like during that whole time and between his death and the trial, I felt like I was able to like hold on to him. I still had the purpose of getting justice for him. He still was kind of with us through that time. And then as soon as the trial was over, it felt like there's just such a big emptiness of now what? There's nothing to do. There's no way to keep him present with us now. And so I think that's when another kind of big wave

of grief started started was right after the trial, at least for me. Next week on the season finale of something was wrong. We were in the visitor room across from each other, this massively long table visitors on one side in nights on the other. And all of a sudden I see Cody strutting across that room by the vending machines going to get something to eat. I was just sitting there thinking, why is this happening? Do I say anything? This can't be by coincidence.

And of all things Cody came and sat right next to the inmate. I was there visiting. We were literally sitting across the table not two and a half feet away from each other. For information about how and where to file a report of suspected child abuse or neglect, please visit the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline. Child Help can be reached seven days a week 24 hours a day at its toll-free number 1-800-4-A child. That's 1-800-422-4453. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe friends. Something was wrong is a broken cycle media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Rees.

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