Something Was Wrong - S18 E13: [Jimmy + Andrew + Anthony] Everyone, Let’s Gather Around the Dumpster

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

*Content Warning: substance use disorder, physical violence, suicidal ideation, racism, bigotry, white nationalism, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, transmia, emotional abuse. Sources:D...ie Laughing // BITCH JAGGER IG page and statements: http://www.instagram.com/wearebitchjagger666 BITCH JAGGER on Bandcamp: https://bitchjagger.bandcamp.com/Andrew Saxena's Podcast, Baywatching: https://www.instagram.com/baywatchingpodcast/Anthony Kapfer on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthonykapfer/ Free + Confidential Resources + Safety Tips: somethingwaswrong.com/resources SWW Merch: merch.cameo.com/store/somethingwaswrong Follow Something Was Wrong on IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcastFollow Tiffany Reese on IG: instagram.com/lookiebooArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart: @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening, add free, on Wondery Plus. What if you married the love of your life, and then stood by them as they developed 21 new identities? What would you do? This is actually happening is a weekly podcast that features extraordinary true stories of life-changing events, told by the people who lived them. Listen to the newest season of this is actually happening on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, rape, and murder. Content warnings for each episode and confidential resources for survivors can be found in the episode notes. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes. pseudonyms are given to minors in these stories for their privacy and protection. Testimony shared by guests of the show is their own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, broken cycle media, or wondering. The podcast and any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is
Starting point is 00:01:06 the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. Thank you so much for listening. Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, let it go, it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, it go, it go Please note, at the time of this episode's release, Kevin Elliott could not be reached for comment. Hello, my name is Jimmy Imperial. I'm from Los Angeles. I'm a musician. I met Kevin Elliott back in 2017 around summertime through a mutual friend musician. We met through the local bar scene slash music scene downtown LA. Around that time they provided probably one of the best local live shows for local punk rock bands and garage rock fuzz rock stuff. It seemed like a normal dude, your average punk rock kind of guy, someone who wanted to drink and play music and have a good time. Everyone
Starting point is 00:02:30 was still acting like teenagers in their 30s. There was very little maturity around that time. My first impression of him, I really didn't think much other than the nice awkward guy who seemed very eager to meet people in LA, because he had only been in LA for a year at that point. So we didn't have too many friends which made sense to me at the time. Now, if I understand why he never had too many friends, he had this band called Die Laughing. I had another band called Nakatomi Plaza. Basically, our relationship was trying to book shows or get our stuff out there for each other. I would try to set up and book a show or he would too and we'd use each other's bands to fill up half the bill and then look for
Starting point is 00:03:10 other bands to jump on. He had a fire under him too. He was eager to play and that's something that I always like when I network with people like I look for the hungry ones. People who want to work for it you hope in return that maybe one day they'll get you a show or add you on to a cool show that they got most of our time was spent in the PM hours it wasn't day to day because in the daytime he would be working at a coffee shop or something like that a lot of these red flags weren't coming up for me and a lot of the people in my scene generally a lot of us heard like runaways or come from not such good home life So being in a band was like having this family. It's worked for me because it's also a form of therapy. I really just used it to get all my anger out because I felt like no one was listening. It really was the only form of therapy I had.
Starting point is 00:03:55 I wasn't in a good place at the time myself. I was dependent on a few drugs and alcohol. I was kind of just floating around from place to place, looking for bands to play with, people to crash with. We were friends for maybe two months before it ramped up to me being there for a week and then taking off and then coming back whenever we go out or go see bands, we'd end up going back to his place which is in the middle of the historic district of downtown LA which was pretty cool to me at the time, a cool little penthouse thing. I just started crashing there more and more. I feel like he used
Starting point is 00:04:29 his apartment to draw people in to think he was cool and it was almost like a crash bad. It wasn't ever just me. He already had two roommates and there would be other people passed out on his floor. So this typical sit-innancy type looking situation where everybody's passed out and sharing a blanket. But all these people, they had something to offer. And I think he thought by offering a place to crash and party, that was the whole trade-off. It was very much a two-way street. He was getting something from me, and I was definitely getting something from him. This was before any of the red flags really started kicking off, probably more so because I was a needy-rated 90% of the time I was with him. Our relationship revolved around getting trashed and music so it's loud, aggressive punk rock, alcohol and copious amounts of different drugs. 2019 I believe. We had booked a show, there was only show we had ended up
Starting point is 00:05:23 successfully booking together. It went so horrible. It wasn't horrible in my end too, my drummer blacked out before we started our set. He couldn't play the drums and it was embarrassing. I had invited my wife, Alyssa, to that show. Thank God she never went. And this is when I was sliding into her DMs type of thing. I knew at that time that there was no way I was worthy of her. It was after that night. We all went back to Kevin's pad and partied, and I took a look around the room. I couldn't do it anymore.
Starting point is 00:05:50 I just didn't like who I was becoming. I tried to hold on as long as I could, but the depression, the drugs, the constant drinking, being away from my kids. I was a very involved parent, and then I lost my dad, got a DUI, my previous partner left me. I just really had nowhere to go so that's how I fell back into the bandro. But all that stuff caught up with me after that show, I just couldn't take it and it led to some altercation, right
Starting point is 00:06:16 out getting beat up in his apartment by him and his roommates. I thought it was my fault, I thought I did something wrong. I was just very confused, I was already depressed as hell. I had really nowhere to go. I went back there to talk to him and he had told me what happened. It was a pretty unburnt situation. The next day I go back, I hear his apology. I'm also very vulnerable, I have nowhere to go. In the midst of my existential crisis and depression.
Starting point is 00:06:40 And he goes to work and he says, you could chill here, man, don't even worry about it. I just get real sad and I contemplated suicide like I wanted to jump off his roof. My brother comes and saves me. Gets me into rehab. It made me strong but also I just couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. I knew that I had a lot of work to do. I had to wait a little bit and take a break from music, focus on finding different career path to making money before that. I worked back a house in the food industry, which if anyone's ever worked, it's enough to kill you.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Especially I hear an L.A. It took a while. I had to adjust from even the PTSD of rehab, I want to say, I was able to get into a good place and a good rhythm and get out of the food industry. I stopped playing music for a bit. Anything that involved being mechanically inclined, I was trying to grasp. I just ended up finding a good little spot. That was quiet and almost mom and pop-ish, tight garage where I got to work on boat engines all day and by myself.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I thought I was gonna be plagued to a life of cooking. I was just so afraid to go back to that because of all the shit that comes with it. To get out of that type of environment and see that I could actually do something different at what I felt was such a late eight, which gave me the confidence to not fall back into some of those patterns. You have to keep working on too. I distance myself throughout the whole rehab from everybody because when you're in a rehab, you take away all your shit, you can't really make calls whenever you want. You really have to have their numbers stored in your head or their addresses.
Starting point is 00:08:08 For like the first month, I could only make one call a week to my primary benefactor, which was my mom. And then I was allowed to write letters to my kids. The next month I got my phone probably. It's like different phases of it. Eventually someone had smuggled a cellphone into rehab. I ended up using it and getting on Instagram. I did talk to Kevin once. He had no idea where I left because I had taken off after being jumped.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Apparently he thought I died. He was asking around about me. I just let him know where I was at and told him I was cool and he said he was getting things lined up for die laughing again and wanted to know if I wanted to help them out once I got out of rehab. At that time I pushed it to the side because I was so focused on myself. I felt comfortable in my life. Things were like going really, really good with Alissa. We had got a house together, moved in. I had gotten my kids back and I was in their day-to-day lives.
Starting point is 00:09:02 We started integrating our families, but Alissa's kids and my kids together. I was working normal people hours Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. doing mechanic shit, so it wasn't so stressful building my life back up. Getting comfortable, I started playing guitar again, and not really writing, but getting in contact with Kevin, we periodically see each other. I go visit him. He came down with some of our mutual friends for our first new years that Alyssa and I had at our house. We were having a party. That's when he started ramping up, trying to get me to get the band going again. Kevin was like, hey, I finally found a drummer, which wasn't Anthony at the time. It was this other guy Bill. Kevin said, hey, look, man,
Starting point is 00:09:41 I booked a rehearsal. This thing's going to happen. You know how dedicated I've been to this thing. He's got material. He's already got it recorded, I booked a rehearsal. This thing's going to happen. You know how dedicated I've been to this thing. He's got material. He's already got it recorded. He got it drummed her. I just need to learn these simple punk songs. It didn't seem too stressful. I wasn't going to be running a band. I was just going to be the rhythm guitar player, which is all I really was going for at that time. I was trying to be cautious about it because being in a band can bring on as much devastation as working in a kitchen. I didn't want to be the center of attention in that band if I was going to play. I had made the decision. I'll go try out. He had booked a practice session at a studio over here. It sort of matched. It sort of didn't. The drums were kind of all over the place, but it felt good to play again. It was Drew, Bill, me. Justin was there and then Kevin, who was also holding a guitar and wanted it
Starting point is 00:10:27 was gonna sing. So I was like, wait, there's three guitars. This is weird. Like that's kind of not cool. That's gonna be a hard fit on his stage. So what happened was Justin and him were going through some personal beef. I got there and I guess I had rehearsed the songs a little bit better and Justin was already going through his beef with Kevin. Justin was like, it looks like he got this gym and he just took off and called it Uber and I didn't see Justin until like a year later. That's how it started after that practice. It was Bill, Drew, me and Kevin, a four piece. Hi, I'm Andrew Saxena.
Starting point is 00:10:59 I have known Kevin since elementary school. We were on different tracks so I didn't really have a relationship with him until middle school high school. He was the class clown. We all knew of his antics. I don't know if this is a legend or I made this up, but I thought he had released a chicken on campus, or something, and claimed that it was like a sacrifice to Satan. He was super outgoing and jovial.
Starting point is 00:11:24 It seemed like he was having fun all the time. I had my own friend group, we were punk rocker kids, and then he was a little bit more of a popular kid. We're not necessarily in the same clicks. He was outgoing and he had been infectious personality. I felt like I wanted to be friends with him before I actually became friends with him. I'm a shy person for sure. In high school, I was felt a bit loner-ish.
Starting point is 00:11:48 I was in the punk rock crowd. We were in bands. He was in a band in high school. I was in my own band. He was the popular band. And ours was, we always felt, I hate to say, at the better band, but just not as recognized. So I was a little insecure, very self-conscious. I was attracted to him because he seemed like a presenter, a performer.
Starting point is 00:12:08 I was in theater as well. We were in comedy sports, which was the improv team. We're in 10th grade, so I'm impressed by dumb humor. We all had to write in ode, and we had to present them in front of the class, and of course, his was an ode to his rooster, or male chicken, so it ended up having the refrain of ode to his cock. That was just so that he could say cock. Jokes would get crazy sometimes like locker room talk, jokie. I sometimes get sensitive. I have two gay parents, maybe sometimes I get triggered at gay
Starting point is 00:12:36 jokes, and then all of a sudden I feel like I'm lecturing people. I feel like I'm in a weird zone. So I remember feeling a little antagonized because Kevin always wants to make these shocking jokes about minorities or about Nazis. I felt like he was always trying to do a shocking joke about different people groups. He would also jokingly or maybe seriously be like, oh, the gingers get a bad rap because he's a red-haired freckled guy. It almost feels like this is real. It almost feels like you're a little bit bigoted to all these people and then you're also pointing out how sometimes people could be bigoted against you and that's a problem. Isn't that a bit hypocritical. This might have been 2012-ish. My friend is a bass player. I don't even really identify as a bass player, but that might just be my imposter syndrome talking. The other guy was playing bass, a friend of ours, and he just ditched the band. I was available because the bass player that was in Kevin's
Starting point is 00:13:26 band that I replaced was actually my band's bass player and he ditched both our bands. Kevin's like, I don't know what to do. I need someone and I'm like, okay, I'll fill in. I went in and it worked out and it felt gratifying because it felt like it worked and the other band members thought I could play. It was fun to be able to sing these pop punk songs. They kind of harken back to our youth, but felt a little beatlezy. The beginning, it felt a little more healthy, and I was a little bit in awe of how prolific
Starting point is 00:13:54 he was in terms of songwriting. He was a good organizer. Getting people together, having practice and setting up shows was always something I was not so great at with my band. I was the lead singer of my band. I was lazy about it and I wasn't too intrusive. If you had other stuff to do, that's fine. Go live your life. I was a very passive band leader, but Kevin, he had everything organized and it felt
Starting point is 00:14:16 like a job. It was cool as someone trying to figure out how to do art because when you see someone treating art seriously, it was attracted to me. Are you somebody who tends to prioritize other people's feelings? Yeah, feelings and needs. It's something I've had to work on. Being a creator is a fun place to work on it. As you learn and concept boundaries, I love to help the people around me who are creating stuff. If you're not helping people as an artist, it's just not going to go well for you. You're not going to build any community and you're not going to learn any skills or learn about people that have skills that you might be able to talk to and learn from. The early days were cool because we were practicing. It didn't feel like there was as much booze or drug issues. We developed a good set and we started playing a bunch of shows. We developed a little bit of a following.
Starting point is 00:15:05 I was getting heavily into yoga and in a noise Kevin, I had a community and another band with it. So I was splitting my time. It bothered him and I just eventually left because he was haranguing me about it, talking shit on yoga, my friends. It felt like my life was a perceived threat to him. It was like choose the band or life. I had also gotten into a new relationship.
Starting point is 00:15:27 So it was like, all right, I'm balancing a bunch of new stuff. And rather than feeling like we were able to have communication about it or be adults about it, it was just like, this thing is a threat. It felt aggressive and weird. That other band ends and then everyone moves to LA. We all came out here and I started doing some school out here. I do films and screenwriting,
Starting point is 00:15:47 so I came out here to try to get gigs. And Kevin came out here too. I was just itching to play again. I had played in a few bands helping my friends out, but nothing was really coming off the ground. So Kevin started his thing again. He had a friend who had also moved to LA and we were a threesome.
Starting point is 00:16:02 We did crazy pop punk still, but now it was a little more grungy and there were samples and it was a little more screaming and experimental. We started that. It fell apart because of not being able to communicate and dysfunction between Kevin, the drummer and myself. One of our shows I showed up, it was the 23rd, so it's Christmas Eve Eve. We had rehearsed.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I show up and it's a different drummer I think. Oh, we're all going Eve. We had rehearsed. I show up and it's a different drummer, I think. Oh, we're gonna all of a sudden, we're playing with a different drummer. I meet the drummer, he's taking his fifth shot of whiskey. He gets in a crazy brawl. Someone from the audience randomly plays with us. This is like the first time that I flipped out at Kevin. Like, I can't do this anymore.
Starting point is 00:16:38 So, like, left again, the band fell apart. All I knew about Jimmy was that he was a recovering addict, so I was like, all right, Jimmy is that much tougher guy than I am. And then I got to know him and he was a fun guy. He very much felt like Kevin's friend, because I knew him through Kevin. We were just so shitty at communication between all of us, mostly because Kevin was dominating the communication. I felt a little antagonistic towards both Jimmy and Kevin, because I'm passive there, dominant. Here's Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:17:06 We were rehearsing for about four months. Notice, Cheydon Bill, he's an amazing, paralegal, amazing friend of a good dude. But he was a little more focused on his real big boy career, an adult shit, and not so much focused on playing drums in some startup punk band. Kevin made the decision to let go of Bill and look for another drummer, which was Anthony, who was living in, I believe in New York at the time. The whole time,
Starting point is 00:17:28 Kevin was secretly scouting this drummer, knowing that he was just using Bill as practice to see if we could cut it for him. So he cuts Bill, Kevin and Anthony, they have this previous relationship online. Kevin would send him mixes for producing and stuff like that. Kevin would send a mix of producing and stuff like that. Hello, I'm Anthony. I'm a musician and stand-up comedian. I've been performing for the last 20 years. I'm from New York City, but I'm living in LA currently.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I started playing music when I was 10. My cousin, he's about the same age as me. We got into music at the same time. He was learning how to play guitar. And so I asked for a guitar for my 10th birthday. I got a guitar. I was terrible. And for my 11th birthday, I got drums. And so then me and him started playing music together.
Starting point is 00:18:17 We both weren't really very good. But we started a band. We started playing DIY punk shows, all ages shows, when we were in high school, freshmen, sophomore year. We were part of the scene in Brooklyn and in Staten Island. It was kind of a similar scene for the All Ages shows. So we were part of that for a couple of years until all those places closed down. At that point, we were old enough to start doing shows and adult venues. We did that for a couple years. I did make a living as a drummer, but I was in my early 20s, so making a living was a little bit different. I didn't need to make much. Three, four roommates
Starting point is 00:18:57 at a time, mattress on the floor, making a living, you know. You just cross your fingers. That's your health insurance. How did you meet Kevin? It was kind of a weird random thing. We met on Twitter. I was tweeting and interacting with the EVE 6 account. It was when they had their big Twitter comeback. They started tweeting all this weird funny stuff and then people started paying attention and then they put out some new music.
Starting point is 00:19:22 I don't think they had been together for a few years but I don't know if the reunion happened because the Twitter was growing or it was part of a PR campaign or what, but it worked. That account kept growing and getting bigger and some funny things that I tweeted, they retweeted and then I would interact with their tweets. And then Kevin commented on something that I replied to and we started having our own side chat in the comments of one of the Eves six tweets.
Starting point is 00:19:49 We both had links to our music in our bios, ended up checking out each other's music. And so we started chatting about the music. I liked some of the stuff that he had posted, he liked some of the stuff that I had. We started sending each other demos, things that we were working on, being like, hey, can you listen to this? What do you think of this? Is this cool? Would you want to play on this? He couldn't really find a drummer. He had a couple people that kept coming and going. I wasn't even living in LA at this point, but I was planning to move there for my music and for my comedy. To think about the progression of things is odd because in the beginning he was
Starting point is 00:20:27 very complimentary of all the stuff I was working on. I moved to your last summer, summer of 2022, but the summer before I came to LA to take a vacation and I had some shows lined up. So we actually met once I went to the bar that he was working at and we hung out for a few minutes while he was working. He was nice to me. He was always complimenting the work that I was doing on my music projects. We hadn't really worked together yet at that point. I just knew that it was hard for him to keep friends because he was always telling me about how everybody hated him. But once I moved to LA and I joined the band as the drummer, it didn't take that long for him to start treating the whole band badly.
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Starting point is 00:22:01 You can binge American Scandal, Aaron Hernandez early and ad-free right now on Wondry Plus. We went downtown to this photo shoot. It was all very impromptu. There wasn't even really a photographer. Andrew brought a camera and Jimmy's wife was there. There was nobody to take photos. So she was like, okay, I guess I'll take the photos. We took a few photos on the roof,
Starting point is 00:22:27 then we're walking around the neighborhood. And he was like, oh, there's this really cool alleyway. We'll take some photos there. So, we get to this alleyway. There's nothing special about it. It's just a dirty alleyway with a dumpster. And he was like, everybody, let's gather around a dumpster. We're like, huddled around this dumpster.
Starting point is 00:22:44 It smells like pee. He's like, this is let's gather around a dumpster. We're like huddled around this dumpster. It smells like pee. He's like, this is great. That's awesome. And then I look and I see that there's a brick wall next to the dumpster. And I'm like, you know, that's pretty classic. Band photo brick wall. Why don't we just grab a shot over there.
Starting point is 00:22:57 We take three or four photos and then some security guard from one of the buildings comes over and makes us leave. Here's Jimmy. Kevin and Anthony get into this squabble because Anthony didn't want to be on skid roads and I like hot piss and it was just gross. He said something about we don't need to like take these gutter punk pictures. We're all in our 30s. We've all lived the punk rock life.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I'm pretty sure if we put all four heads together we could come up with some cool pictures. We were all like yeah definitely except for Kevin took it in offense. I was like this is my home. This is my city. I was like, whoa, this dude's getting really heated over this. He just escalated the situation. He ended up insulting all three of us individually. In some way, shape or form, Anthony just came from New York and felt like he didn't get any input on this photo because it was still last minute. But Kevin took it as this threat and instantly was telling us through text. If you don't like it then fuck off. This is my band. I make the rules type shit. I had to like side text him, Sam Pro. He waited six months to get this drummer and you're gonna can him before
Starting point is 00:23:54 we even play. He seems legit. He was a really nice guy. We all clicked. That's kind of rare. We just felt an instant connection with him and it is just really weird to me because we were all in such good spirits before. We basically almost broke up. I remember having to talk to Andrew and Anthony in our own sidebar text thread. I just wanted some insight from Andrew because he had known Kevin the longest. So I wanted to know, is this just like a fluke or is this just a stupid argument? And Andrew basically said without saying, you know, die laughing has been trying to be a band for almost 10 years and it's always failed pretty much because of Kevin. He's kind of driven everybody out of that band
Starting point is 00:24:30 that he's tried to start when we are another. Here's Andrew. I remember us doing a photo shoot started out fun. Then we get near like a dumpster and it's a really gross dumpster somewhere in downtown LA. We're taking pictures in front of it. Then I think Kevin asks Anthony get on the ground. Get on this gross ass piss-covered ground.
Starting point is 00:24:50 And Anthony's like no, Kevin's mad about this. He's chugging beer and I think he has a bottle of whiskey. He's got me carrying the bong and we're out in public with Elissa and Jimmy. Kevin's asking us to get down into piss puddles. And I think it was funny because it was the first time Anthony had ever met any of us. And as the first time we'd all been together, essentially, I don't think we'd ever rehearsed, Anthony's just like, no, and I think Jim's like, no, it became a problem that bandmates didn't want to kneel in piss for Gevin, which seems like a reasonable issue for anyone
Starting point is 00:25:21 to have. We all had this crash course in communicating with each other and I think that's part of why we all quickly became closer afterwards. Anthony, he's a comedian, a musician, he's made films, I was super inspired, meeting him. He can have functional communications with his creative partners. That's really cool. He quickly was over Kevin, especially because Anthony would have more questions. He was the drummer and he'd need to know certain things about the songs. He couldn't just jam along each
Starting point is 00:25:49 time, and he had ideas, I think, that conflicted with Kevin. I feel like it was an ego battle constantly in their interactions, and it felt like Kevin was harsh about that and meaner to Anthony because of that. People would come to Kevin with basic issues, like, but what's the structure of this song? This is what the demo is, and then this is how we play it live. And Kevin would be like antagonistic about us trying to find solutions to how to play his music. It would get to the point where we try to figure out what his solos were going to be or when he was going to do parts that he was going to do, and they would come sporadically. So the drama started because of inability to have any kind
Starting point is 00:26:24 of communication that was constructive at band practice So much so that if it would happen we would end up taking a break and whiskey would be getting chugged by kev It would be like time to get super high and then mad at whoever had the problem and whoever wasn't involved in the conversation Just had to fiddle about with their instrument. These practices were happening at my house too So often I would just kind of go inside and hang with the cats. Here's Anthony. We were talking about shooting a music video for one of the songs.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Jimmy had some ideas. I think he wanted to get some time at an hourly studio and just bring a couple of cameras and shoot the rehearsal. But Kevin didn't think that the rehearsal space looked shitty enough. He wanted to shoot somewhere that was more gritty, I guess. I was like, I don't want everything that we do
Starting point is 00:27:06 to be shot by piss-melling dumpsters. Something like that, where I was like, does everything have to smell like piss, wherever we go? He was like, oh, come on, you're not punk rock. This is the aesthetic of the band, and this is what we do. I was like, does it have to be, do we have to be like in literal garbage?
Starting point is 00:27:23 I grew up playing punk. I played CBGBs before it closed. So I feel like I'd know a couple of things about punk. When you're forcing it, that's not really punk anymore. That was fine when we were young, we're in our 30s. So there was a little tension because he was shooting down everyone's ideas. I just felt like he was attacking all of us for no reason.
Starting point is 00:27:44 He was very upset at me for going against his punk rock aesthetic that he had in mind. And I thought that the ideas that we had were also ideas that a punk rock band would do, but he was angry about that. Here's Jimmy. We were talking about music video ideas and he was shutting every idea I had down and telling Drew not to wear his dress Because Drew like to wear dresses. He wore a dress to the first photo shoot and he had told us that he was gonna wear a dress at every show We played he was just like no not having it at all Which is also was very concerning and weird. It's like day one dude and you're making us feel like we're just this backing band Eventually Kevin I think Drew talked to him individually. I talked to him individually.
Starting point is 00:28:27 He ended up apologizing to Anthony, I believe. Just in a weird way. I remember him apologizing in this, sorry, not sorry, type way. But for whatever reason, we move past it. It was like, let's get over it. Let's play. Let's see what if this is gonna work. Anthony hit those drums hard, and this is what we need. And he kept time.
Starting point is 00:28:43 He kills it on drums in his first rehearsal. Drew is on point. Once we had that first rehearsal with Anthony, I was like, oh shit, okay, this could be something real. Kevin had originally booked our first show almost six months in advance before we even knew that Anthony was going to be your drummer. It was at the Redwood and then Drew booked a show at the Sardine, a local venue down the street from his house. We had two shows, it was like a Friday night show and then a Saturday night show. So we practiced for it. I want to say a week and a half. We probably ran three, four practices before we had our first show. After our first show or second show at the Redwood, I remember
Starting point is 00:29:19 it being completely toxic. Kevin had booked that show. Something happened with the lineup and something with the drums. Like Anthony thought that there was going to be a backline drum set. I mean when there's a drum kit set up usually for you and you just bring your symbols and snare drum. Kevin had told Anthony the drum set would be backlined by either the Redwood bar or by one of the bands. When we get there you find out that our time slot is different and there's no backline available for us. Kevin, who's already been on his high horse about how this is his band and he's supposed to be the leader because he's trying to make that the thing.
Starting point is 00:29:54 He doesn't do anything about it and then he takes it out immediately on Anthony. I immediately back up Anthony because I'm like, how is it his fault? You told him it was going to be backlined. It's your job as the leader to go talk to their promoter to get the line of switch so we could borrow the other band's drums because we knew one of the guys in the other band. The problem was they went on first, another band went on and then we were last. The band that went on first that we knew wanted to leave because no one wants to hang around till 11 o'clock in the mid-30s. They end up doing us a favor, we play, but it was like another red play. You're the leader of this band, you're so persistent on controlling everything, but
Starting point is 00:30:28 when it comes to actually taking care of business or figuring shit out, it fell onto me because I wanted to fix it. I want to play it. We did all this work. Anthony came from New York, we rehearsed, I'll just figure it out. I took over as managing the band because I just couldn't see Kevin doing it. Obviously, this guy needs a little help. He's not not the best leader so maybe I could just play guitar and do the managing. That's basically how I got into booking shows for dilaphing. This dude doesn't have the people skills, he doesn't know how to do those kind of things. It's starting to show that he can't function, especially in high-stress things. I already knew Kevin to be a drinker, he was not PC at all. By that second show, we had all pretty much told him We really need you to just be that microphone that comes out of the box and then back into the box
Starting point is 00:31:09 It shows if you're gonna drink you should probably like do your thing and then after we play get the fuck out of here and go drink He has very bad views on women He has a past his mom died very young. He could blame it on his shock humor or he wanted to get attention young. He could blame it on his shock, humor, or he wanted to get attention. He had one, girl, but that was it. It was like this weird, rocky relationship. They knew each other from San Diego they worked together and she was coming out of a relationship. It was like a rebounding for her. She had two boys as well, so we talked a bit because I was going through it too, not being able to be around my kids all the time. I understood where she was coming from. She was around and she was cool, but she would only take Kevin, you know, low doses for two days or for the night and then leave back to San
Starting point is 00:31:48 Diego the next day. I found out later though they had a falling out and she just never came back. I never saw her again. You'd always say this weird thing like I respect women so much that I don't talk to them. As he drank more and more, the racial banter and jokes started coming out more and more. And he's always been on his ass about homophobic type shit. I fucking hate hatred man, that's why I got into punk rock. I started getting really irritated. Everything started becoming a real red flag. I started seeing things for how they were.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Kevin booked one show. That was it. He didn't have a car. He didn't have an amplifier. His guitar was broken. I mean, they got five songs. It just wasn't adding up anymore I'm actually paying for the rehearsals now. I'm booking these rehearsals out of my own pocket I'm just doing all this work when I brought up a song that I had written
Starting point is 00:32:34 He just totally was like nah, I got ten more songs to release You don't even have any intention of playing it. There was two instances. There was rehearsals booked and I was on my way to pick Kevin up, and he just shut his phone off, just bailed on it. Wouldn't answer his phone, I'm leading outside his apartment. He did that twice. His excuse was like, oh, I'm sorry, man, I got drunk.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Sorry guys, I blew it. The next time he did it, we just went and practiced without him, and we posted videos of us playing one of the songs I wrote, immediately, tries to kiss our ass. We saw the control issues very early on to some of that up. And it was almost too much for comfort for me.
Starting point is 00:33:09 I'm gonna see how far this goes, hopefully it ends, but it only progressed. Here's Anthony. He was always unhappy with something. So that was almost an immediate shift. Once I got here when we were actually working on stuff, he was very difficult. He thinks that his ideas are better no matter what. I've met a lot of people like this. They're
Starting point is 00:33:32 not interested in what you're bringing to the table. In the beginning, it seemed like Kevin was interested in what all of us had to offer as musicians, because I think what we did was we came into the project and we took his demos. When we played shows, we took those songs and made them more than what they were on his bedroom demos. I feel like a lot of me calling him out happened privately. He would be more open with me about his lack of interest in collaborating with them.
Starting point is 00:34:06 He knew I was okay if it was just his project. Once I met those guys, when I would talk to Kevin privately, I was always kind of advocating for them, because we were having fun initially. I could see that they were excited about being part of the band, so... When he would say stuff like that, I would be like, you got to talk to these guys, you got to be upfront about this. I would do a lot of that privately when the argument about the photo shoot happened.
Starting point is 00:34:31 The three of us, me, Andrew, and Jimmy, we started a separate group text without Kevin. So we had the band one and then we had the backing band one. That was our chat to be like, how are we going to deal with Kevin? What are we going to do? How are we going to get past how bad he's treating us? How are we going to tell him how we feel? We all knew what the three of us were upset about.
Starting point is 00:34:57 I would end up being the one who would bring that stuff up. It was a weird thing because Kevin was telling me privately about his grievances with the band, and the band, we were all talking about our grievances with him. I think that we all wanted to record the next batch of songs as a band, and that kind of scared him. He would send me messages separately
Starting point is 00:35:19 from the band group text and be like, how do I tell my band that they're never going to play on any of the recordings? And I was like I don't know but I think you should tell them that because they seem like they really want to. I was fine either way because I had my own musical projects, I do comedy and I had all kinds of separate projects. His band wasn't my creative outlet, it was just kind of a fun thing to do. When I first moved to LA, joined a band, make a couple of new friends, that's enough for me. If I don't ever play drums on the album, I don't really care about that.
Starting point is 00:35:53 But the other guys were interested in doing that, and he wasn't that open about it. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want to collaborate. What made it hard was that not only did he not want to collaborate, he didn't even really seem to know what he wanted from us. That started really early on. It was fun for a couple of weeks, then we were just trying to navigate how to keep this band from falling apart. There was a couple of times in rehearsals where we were trying to learn a song, a new song that he had already recorded a demo. We'd all heard it before and we were just trying to hammer out our parts in rehearsal. Something wasn't working and we kept not being able to get through the song. I had some questions about the arrangement. We got the intro riff and then you start singing the verse and then there's another riff before the second verse.
Starting point is 00:36:48 I was just trying to figure out how many times do we go through the riff. He was telling us one thing and then we would try it and he would do it differently. I was like, we're not getting this. Can you just tell us how many times he didn't seem to know and he was getting really upset that I was asking questions about arrangements. The only way that we solved it was I pulled out my phone and I pulled up the demo and we listened to it together and he was like, oh yeah, you are right. But he just wanted to argue before that. It wasn't until I pulled up his own recording of himself playing the song.
Starting point is 00:37:19 He always wanted to keep it loose. He was like, well the guitar solos, those would just go on indefinitely. We'll just jam. And so every song had like jam sections. We want to structure this so that we can be tighter as a band. And it was just hard. He wasn't interested. He just always wanted to do the opposite of what we were trying to do with it. One of the examples of a time where I was more upfront about my distaste for his behavior. We had this show for all of the rehearsals and for all the gigs. Jimmy would pick up Kevin at his place and bring him to wherever it was and then drive him home. So he got a ride to the gig and Andrew had all of Kevin's equipment. So he gets a ride. He has his equipment delivered to him.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Doesn't even help anybody load in. He's just hanging out like he's some kind of rock star and we're his roadies. I'm setting up my drums. I don't expect him to help me with that, but he didn't set up any of the amps. He's trying to like get me to help him with the microphone because for some reason there was no sound person It was like all right the band is done now you guys figure it out So we're trying to find the outlets and the mics aren't set up for some reason so he's like where's the mic? What do I do with the mic? I was like, I don't know I don't work here. I'm doing the drums figured out We finally get everything set up. There's like five people in the audience one of them is Jimmy's wife and her friend is there. My wife is there. Our friend from out of town is visiting. It's her last night in town and they're both at the show.
Starting point is 00:38:51 The band after us is there and that's about it. But we still want to be professional. That's just what you do. I thought. I've done so many shows to five or less people. I've done shows where it's just the sound person and my girlfriend. For a band, it's a free rehearsal. Sometimes we have to pay to get together and play music. So anyway, we're ready to go and at this moment, when we're like, okay, let's start. He's like, hold on, I gotta go smoke some weed first. And we're like, what? We have to start. But he's like, all right, I've got to smoke, I'm not playing until I smoke my weed. So we're like, fine, just do it fast.
Starting point is 00:39:27 I don't think you can find the weed or the pipe. He's like, who took it? Who took it? And he's yelling at us. But then at some point, he gets on the microphone and he starts accusing everyone in the room. He's like, who stole my pipe? Somebody stole my pipe and I refuse to play until I get my weed. I've been in bands for 20 years. I've never experienced this level of, I don't even know what you call that, but it's unprofessional.
Starting point is 00:39:51 So he storms out of the room. He leaves us on the stage and we're supposed to have started already. Jimmy had a new song idea that we had practiced a couple of times and there was like an instrumental at that point. But we're all just kind of looking at each other and like, what do we do? And I was like, why don't we play that song that you wrote? So we kick into Jimmy's song that Kevin doesn't even know.
Starting point is 00:40:12 He comes back when we're halfway into some song that he doesn't even know how to play. He thought it was like he was Liam Gallagher or something. He thought it was like an oasis kind of thing. But it really annoyed us. Here's Andrew. Finally, the dude shows up and I remember we're yelling at him on stage. This doesn't work. You're destroying a bunch of people's experience right now. This really sucks.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Everyone wanted to fight this guy and he was never accepting in any way that he needed to extend any communication or understanding about what people's feelings were. How his actions made them feel. I think everyone just started to realize it's a brick wall. or understanding about what people's feelings were, how his actions made them feel. I think everyone just started to realize it's a brick wall. And then when we tried to call him out on it, after the fact, he's like, oh, that's a standup, that's a comedy routine, that comedy excuse again.
Starting point is 00:40:55 We were stereotypical dudes for a very long time, just letting stuff slide, maybe this'll work and we won't have to deal with these communication issues. They escalated and we all tried our best and this guy would not hear anyone out. He was telling all of us in like the group text that all fuck off. He'd just replace us all in terms of our band relationship. It was a constant build of not being able to communicate a clear idea of what our goal was. It did seem like it was building at that show.
Starting point is 00:41:23 It felt like there were ultimatums where it was like, like hey if we don't have a sit down and talk about this or figure this out I'm out after that show at some point I remember reaching after the group text and being like heaven what we need to do more than anything is not rehearse not talk about the next record we need to like just sit down and talk to each other and he didn't want to have a band meeting I think that was the second to last show it planted that seed of this can't go on Here's Jimmy we were coming off of the incident where he blew up with his wee pipe when I had Confronted him about it afterwards. He fired me like not you're fired you're out of here and then two days later He apologized. I let it go but by this time most of these red flags were up in the air
Starting point is 00:42:01 They're staying there and they're with me constantly I'm just trying to figure out an exit strategy out of this and everybody's on the same page. I feel like Kevin could sense the shift. The more he saw and sensed the shift and the rift in the band due to him, he got worse. He didn't know how to come back from it or just apologize and move on. After that, Drew pretty much was on his way out. Anthony was going to leave. He just couldn't take it. And I was gonna leave too. I just wanted to make sure I had some kind of project to bounce into.
Starting point is 00:42:32 That was the game plan. Drew, Anthony, and I were like, okay, look, I have these three shows lined up. I spent money on these. Can you guys just help me get through this? That way I could keep these contacts. This is all my networking and I didn't want to burn everybody. I wanted to keep playing. I knew that I was going to do something on my own or maybe with Anthony. It was about mid-Julya had booked a thing for Jam in a van. It was like on YouTube. We had to do like a 10 minute live stream set. If we had a good response, they would put us on officially and then we'd get a spot. It took a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:43:05 I had to organize how we were gonna do it. We did it at Drew's house, we got our friend Trevor to help us sink the audio and sound because it needed to be perfect. It came out cool. Kevin knew that we were doing this audition, but I had to meet with all the other band members in our friend Trevor for hours before
Starting point is 00:43:20 to set everything up and get it going because nobody wanted Kevin to really be there. When you, he would just be drinking the entire time, wouldn't be helping. A couple days before that I came across this song by the shady Franko's, I immediately recognized it was a die-laping song called Boyfriend. It was written, it was in the same keys, same structure, time with everything. He added an extra chorus on top of the chorus, so it went from the chorus to his new chorus and then repeated. So it was just direct plagiarism. I brought it up to the guys and they all agreed. We were all pretty lost.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Ultimately Anthony ended up bringing it up to him and he was just like, well why didn't you give him credit to begin with? If it wasn't your intention to steal. Kevin just wrote it off, is not stealing it. I think eventually, through text it came out. He admitted to it fully, but he wrote that train pretty hard, pretending like he didn't rip it off. Like it was coincidence, but the song that he ripped off came from a band from his hometown in San Diego. Like it's just too many walks like a duck clacks,
Starting point is 00:44:17 like a duck type shit. Here's Anthony. We were on our way to a rehearsal. We were doing like a video recording. So Jimmy picked me up and Kevin was gonna meet us later. Here's Anthony. knew this singer from the shady Frankos and he emailed him like, Hey, man, I love your stuff. I was wondering what kind of vocal effects do you use on your recordings? So this guy tells him what he uses. Kevin records everything with this same kind of sound. We have to talk to him about this because I don't want to be in a band that just rips off complete songs. Being influenced is one thing, but taking songs and saying you wrote them, that's a whole other thing. Once we do know, now it's just as bad as if we knew all along.
Starting point is 00:45:11 We don't get a pass. This is enough to be like, I don't know if I want to be in this band anymore. Here's Jimmy. Coming up late July, it was our last rehearsal before our show at the Silverly Clown, which was a big deal for us because I booked that show with Durella, I had to pay two other bands to come play with us, that were semi big in the local scene and this is the Silver Lake Lounge, which is where Silver Sun pickups blew up, Elliott Smith used to play there. This was a big deal for us, it wasn't just some dive bar, you know, it was one of our first shows in Echo Park, a chance to get back into like that coveted local scene where things can really pick up for you.
Starting point is 00:45:46 The rehearsal before that gig, Anthony and Kevin got into it over some dumb shit about a click track and Anthony being off in tempo and it was just Kevin once again deflecting and trying to put the blame on Anthony. That night we got into a heated argument. All of us. I have to drive every putty back home still. Kevin doesn't say a word to Anthony the entire way home So that's already awkward. I drop off
Starting point is 00:46:09 Anthony and then Kevin starts talking to me. He's going on this weird transphobic rant came at me with some weird shit I was just really bothered by that whole conversation This dude knows my brother's gay. He knows all the bands I've been booking for all the bands I've been booking for, all the connections I've been making, Drew's wearing dresses, till our shows, Drew's been supporting the LGBT queer punk scene since before me. Anthony's super level headed. It's just this one guy's hatred that's coming out more and more, and it was just really bothering me, so I drop him off and I notice immediately that he left his phone in my car. In weird relationships when you have these red flags and feelings, sometimes people tend to go through the people's phones. I open his phone because he's talking all this shit openly to me about Anthony in our own text messages.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I know this guy has issues with me, I want to see what the fuck he's saying. So I go through his phone and that's when I open this bombshell of weirder shit. I open Pandora's Box. Next time on something was wrong. So it came out somewhat quickly. Once we knew about the text messages, there was no coming back from that. I had zero contact with him. I was already done. The last ever show that we were supposed to play with him was the first bitch Jagger show.
Starting point is 00:47:29 It really seemed like they wanted it to get to the highest plateau so they could feel safe about coming out or sharing their stories in a sense of real. I was listening to your podcast of my lonely mechanic job and it's what got me through the day and I was thinking this is the perfect platform for these women. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe friends. Something was wrong is a broken cycle media production created and hosted by me, Tiffany Rees. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow something was wrong on Instagram. At something was wrong podcast. Our theme song was composed by Glad Rags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon Music.
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