Something Was Wrong - S21 E14: (2/4) [Annie + Lauren + Rachael] A Big Joke

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

*Content Warning: death, vehicular manslaughter, driving under the influence, sexual assault, xenophobia, bigotry, emotional abuse, Alcohol Use Disorder, suicidal ideation. For a list of related free and confidential resources, please visit: http://www.somethingwaswrong.com/resources Follow Something Was Wrong:Website: somethingwaswrong.com IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcastTikTok: tiktok.com/@somethingwaswrongpodcast Follow Tiffany Reese:Website: tiffanyreese.me IG: instagram.com/lookieboo [e-mail] The SWW theme Song is U Think U, by Glad Rags. The S21 cover art is by the Amazing Sara Stewart.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Something Was Wrong early and ad free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences, as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, rape, and murder. Content warnings for each episode and confidential resources for survivors can be found in the episode notes. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes.

Pseudonyms are given to minors in these stories for their privacy and protection. Testimony shared by guests of the show is their own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, Broken Cycle Media, or Wondery. The podcast and any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment. Thank you so much for listening. You don't know anybody until you talk to someone. Here's Rachel. I was working in residential treatment.

We had to work a holiday. The one I had got stuck with was New Year's. So I wasn't doing anything for New Year's. And since I'm really his only friend in Chicago, Josh said he went to a bar alone and cried. Right after that, he said, okay, I'm really getting back out there. I want a woman. He would always say this one phrase, I want a woman. I want to have babies with her and

move back to Michigan. That is my goal. I'm on the hunt for a wifey, which I thought was kind of funny at the time. Looking back on it now, it's terrifying. As someone like this moves through victims, it gets more and more intense with each relationship. And I think he was getting a taste of wanting more control. Part of him was missing that. He wanted a woman to control and take care of him simultaneously. He was always on me too about setting him up with my friends. I was like, look you dated one of my

friends for a significant period of time and you messed it up. I'm not setting you up with another friend. He was very persistent in asking me, but I never really introduced him to any more of my friends after that. My name's Annie and I was born and raised in the Chicagoland area.

I'm 32 years old. I'm a very sociable person. I like to meet people and I like to do all kinds of different things. Before I met Josh, I was in an eight-year relationship. So most of my 20s, I was in a relationship with the same person. It ended kind of bad. I was single for about six months before I decided I was ready to get out there and start dating again and Josh was one of the first people I matched with on Hinge. I like when guys are funny online and

they show a bit of their personality. I don't like when they're boastful or gloating on the dating apps which happens a lot. Josh seemed very humble and funny. He messaged me with something silly. I don't remember what the joke was now, but I remember it made me laugh. The conversation kind of went nowhere initially, which happens a lot on dating apps, which I was learning because it was my first time on them. He came back a couple days later and he had been talking about bingo and he was like, bingo is really good by the way, in case you were wondering, which I thought was really funny. He was 32 and he was like bingo was really good by the way in case you were wondering which I thought was really funny he was 32 and I was 28 when we met he told me that he went out all the time with

his friends and he was part of a shuffleboard league he went to bingo nights and he was out drinking and loved karaoke and he just sounded like a fun guy I love to go out and try new things so it sounded great how long did you guys chat back and forth before you ended up meeting up? We talked for a couple weeks. I was actually the one who asked him out initially because I was like, what are you waiting for? He was in Chicago. I'm in the suburbs right now. So we were pretty close, about 20 minutes away.

I was excited for our first date because we had talked for a while. I probably talked to him longer through the dating apps than most guys I matched with. We went to the movies and he had a mug for me with a little dog on it because at the time I was working at a kennel. He was just very sweet and charming. He paid for my ticket. He bought me ice cream afterwards. We walked around.

It was a really nice first date. After the first date, I actually texted my mom. I was like, it went really well. He was really sweet. He walked me to the car and she said, did he kiss you? I said, he didn't. And I actually brought that up to him. I texted him.

I was like, you didn't kiss me. He's like, I was so nervous. On the first date, he asked me if I would like to see him again. And I said, I would. A couple days later, he came over to my would like to see him again. And I said I would. A couple days later, he came over to my house and we were going to order pizza and watch a movie. On our second date, he mentioned to me that he had gone to jail. And at first, I thought he was joking because of the way he so nonchalantly said it to me. And I kind of laughed and he said, No, really, I

was in jail for a DUI as a kid. The judge was trying to make an example out of me. He's like, I hit another car and I think he said he served six months. He said when he was waiting in the hallway for his case that he was reading over the paperwork and the woman had died and he started crying because he thought he had killed her. But then he found out she died of cancer and it was unrelated. He kind of told it like it was almost a funny story. He would talk about being in jail and how all he ate was cookies because he didn't like the food and he didn't poop the whole time he was in jail.

That's how he would sum it up like it was a big joke. I tried to Google this afterwards because I was like, this is an odd story. I also just wanted to know the details of it and I couldn't find anything because I think he was a kid when it happened. Here's Rachel. He talked to me about it around the time that I first was starting to get to know him. He would talk about how he had a DUI situation

where he got in a pretty bad accident on this one specific curve in East Lansing and that he had killed a woman and that he went to jail for two weeks for it. It was so strange though, because the story seemed to change, depending on who he was telling it to. We all had different versions of it. Here's Lauren. I don't know a ton about it, not for lack of trying. I have scoured every corner of the internet. But what he told to me and explained to me about the story

is that when he was younger, I think 20 or 21 he got a DUI and He spent 30 days in jail for that DUI The way that he explained it to me was very casual and nonchalant he framed it as it was almost a really bad situation for me because The woman in the car ended up dying and I like, what the fuck are we talking about? Back up. And he'd be like, she was elderly.

And she ended up dying very shortly after of something unrelated. Like, what a bad look for me, right? He loved a good story. And he loved to say jarring things like this to get a reaction out of people. And he was very effective at doing that. Here's Rachel. Kaylin moved here 2019. She's one of my good friends from college.

Josh and Kaylin, I had been hanging out, the three of us, pretty regularly this spring. We were on the shuffleboard team together. There was a Friday night that the three of us were doing something together. He was telling us about his most recent hinge date, which was with Annie. He said that they went to her house and he talked about how creepy and weird her house was. She made him this giant drink with a ton of tequila in it and he got so drunk and she took advantage of him. He kept talking about how strange she was and how strange the house was and what a weird experience it all was. Kaylin and I were listening to this,

thinking and saying, if you think she's this strange and you felt uncomfortable in this situation, you shouldn't see her again. He was like, oh no, I'm not going to see her again. I think we might have a date plan, but I'll probably cancel. And he kept joking about being sexually abused, which is not something to lightly throw around at all. It made me very uncomfortable. very uncomfortable. St. Patrick's Day was his birthday and then we also had this shuffleboard end-of-season banquet which was like a huge deal and Josh and I had

decided we're gonna go. I took the next day off of work and one of his guy friends was coming to visit so it was this big week for him and then I believe he was going to Colorado right after that to celebrate his birthday with some friends. That birthday weekend was also when COVID was on the horizon. It was mid March 2020. And we were all moving back and forth. Should we still go out and do something for St. Patrick's Day and his birthday? Some of his friends, one of them who was my cousin was going to come for the weekend.

She decided not to, but another one of his friends decided that he still was going to come. We still did things, went out, had a good time. So the plan was we were all going to go out to dinner for Josh's birthday and then karaoke. Josh and I and one of his friends that had come to visit went to a bar first before dinner. It was right on the way and we were having a few drinks. This is when Josh started talking about Annie a little bit more. He said she really wants to hang out with me for my birthday. She keeps texting me. I keep telling her no, maybe we can do something tomorrow. I was giving him shit to be perfectly honest for I was giving him shit to be perfectly honest for still entertaining, spending time with Annie because the last I heard the weekend prior, he thought she was so weird.

He had called her a witch in literal terms and said that he thought she's put a spell on him. At this point, I was kind of like, why are you still spending time with her? You clearly don't like this woman. Don't respond if she keeps texting you. No big deal, move on. Your friends are here from out of town visiting.

Then we all go to dinner, more people come to dinner. Then we all go to the karaoke bar. He disappeared for a bit bit and then he came back with this girl who he proceeded to not introduce us to and then pretty much only hung out with her at the bar when we were at a table in the back. It was just a really awkward situation. I was frustrated.

At a certain point, I pulled him aside. I was like, what is going on with this? And he told me that she found him and showed up at the bar. I was like, oh God, it fit with the narrative he had already been creating about Annie. Here's Annie. They were at a karaoke bar when I got there. he had already been creating about Annie. Here's Annie. They were at a karaoke bar when I got there. He met me at the door and he walked me in

and he went over to the table where they were like set up. I would say there were six people there. He didn't introduce me to them. It was kind of odd. He didn't say, this is Annie. He didn't say, this is Rachel. But people were drinking and moving in different directions, so I kind of wrote it off. He took me to the side and got me a drink and then we were chatting

at the bar while everybody else was mingling. I definitely didn't feel included in the group. And they kind of seemed standoffish. I felt like I was intruding. Was he a big drinker? How big of a partier would you say he was? Well he described himself as one. He kind of described himself as a frat boy, which is not my usual type. When we were at the bar, a guy started talking to me. When Josh had stepped away, I think he was getting a drink or something. And he asked me if I wanted to play pool with him. And I said, no, I'm here with somebody. No, thank you. And he said, oh, you know, if you change your mind, I'll be in the back. And Josh came over and he said, Oh, so we're flirting

with people. And I said, No, I told him I was here with you. And he said, That guy's a racist, by the way, just so you know. I said, What do you mean? And he said, Oh, he said that COVID is from the Chinese. I heard him say that. This guy had just walked in a couple minutes ago. So I don't think he heard him say that. And then I was sitting next to one of his friends who had been more chatty with me, and I don't remember her name now. I had never seen her again after that night. And I said, I think he's mad at me because that guy talked to me, and she said, Oh no, Josh is just joking. He's always joking. That's his thing. I hadn't intended to spend the night with him, but my purse got locked in the bar that night.

My wallet, everything. I had my phone on me, but that's all I had. He was smoking and I stepped outside with him, and in between them they locked the door, and I said, my purse is in there. They said, you'll have to come back tomorrow. So I had to go home with him. It definitely looked like a man's apartment. There was a couch and a TV. That's pretty much it. Here's Rachel again. They end up leaving early, and then he sticks me with one of his guy friends

who's supposed to be staying with him. So then of course I'm like, okay, you can spend the night at my place, I guess. We stayed, we had fun with karaoke and everything and eventually left. The next day was St. Patrick's Day. So Chicago always celebrates St. Patrick's Day on the Saturday before. That's when they dyed the grove green. That's when everything happens in the city. We wake up, it was me and Josh's friend, and then Kailin comes over pretty soon in the morning. We're hanging out and just berating Josh via text at this point because he took Annie home

and ditched us on his birthday night and then also isn't responding to any of our texts and phone calls when we had this whole day plan for St. Patrick's Day. Eventually he shows up to my apartment with Ami a number of hours late. It was so awkward. You could cut the tension in that room with a knife. Josh never even introduced us to Annie. He has been talking so much crap about her, and then he brings her to St. Patrick's Day. I was like, this is so annoying, but whatever. I'm not gonna let it ruin my St. Patrick's Day.

I just called an Uber and was like, hey, this is where my friends are. Come or not. Here's Annie again. I was nervous because that's my purse. It has money in there. It has my car keys in there, my house keys. I kind of want that back. And he was very nonchalant about it. He's like, it's not a big deal. We'll get there when we get there. And I'm calling the bar and they're not open yet. No one's answering. Finally, I get somebody to answer and I was like, okay, let's go. And he's like, what is the rush? I was like, it's my purse. We took an Uber to get my purse. He took me to the next bar with him to meet

up with Rachel. When I got there, it definitely felt like they were upset that we were late. He said to me, it's your fault we're so late. And I said, what are you, it's felt like they were upset that we were late. He said to me, it's your fault we're so late. And I said, what do you, it's not my fault. And he said, I'm just joking, God. Maura- After the second hanging out with the friends, are you like adding each other on social media and exchanging numbers and stuff or were you guys kept pretty separate? Maura- Pretty separate. Nobody, aside from the one guy friend that was sitting next to me, because we were in like a booth. So Josh was on one side friend that was sitting next to me, because we were in like a booth. So Josh was on one side of me and there was one of his male friends

on the other. And he talked to me a little bit, was asking me about my pets and what I did for work. And he was really the only one who spoke directly to me. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't understand why no one was engaging with me or even like making eye contact with me. Josh was having separate conversations. When we were in the booth, he was turned away from me and talking to somebody else. So I wasn't included in that conversation at all. He wasn't saying, this is Annie. We've been talking for this long. Nothing. My last relationship, we were best friends.

We had the same kind were best friends. We had the same kind of friend group. We would do things together. I felt included. To this day, I talk to some of my ex's friends. Here's Rachel. So everyone ended up coming to the bar we went to and Annie and Josh weren't even there all that long. I didn't talk to Annie at all. Then Kailin didn't talk to her at all. We just had a very bad taste in our mouth from the whole situation. He at some point was like, hey, we're gonna go. I was like, okay, bye, that's totally fine. You're on this different journey, clearly, so go do your thing. I'm just gonna hang out with my friends. I ended up staying out until the evening. His

friend who was visiting, he left him with me again, so I had another house guest. The whole point of him coming here was for Josh's birthday, and he just straight up ditched him multiple times. But I really didn't speak to her at all either of those days. And that was the only time I had ever met Annie until everything blew up years later. What he was saying about Annie, I took it at face value because he hadn't seemed to be all that dishonest about anything. He had his quirks and I did believe that he was mostly at fault for the breakup with Lauren. However, I didn't see him as a person who was going to lie about these

things. At this point in history, it was when Trump was president, there was a lot of unrest. The women's marches were happening and it was just before Black Lives Matter and he always took so much pride in positioning himself with like a very liberal stance on things. I think he went to a women's march with Lauren and had this custom sweatshirt printed. It said, men of quality support equality. He always made himself seem as though he was very liberal, a huge supporter of all the causes that women who work in the field of mental health would be very invested in. Completely tailors his pitch. He had met one of my friends from work. I even remember a text from her and it was just a normal conversation you

have with one of your girlfriends. Men suck. Yes, they do, right? And then she had to say, you know, and then I remember that there are men out there like Josh and my brother who are good guys at the end of the day, which now looking back on is wild. Here's Annie. After the first weekend, I met his friends that birthday, St. Patrick's Day weekend. We went into lockdown for COVID. So there was no seeing other guys out in public anymore. There was no being around groups of people. There was nothing. It was just me and Josh. I remember texting him like, we probably shouldn't have gone out this weekend.

It's very serious. It's like, well, isolate together. We've got this. I was nervous about COVID in general. So it just felt good to have somebody say they were in it with me. I live alone. It was nice to hear because otherwise I would have been all alone. He'd come over during the week sometimes, but he would spend the weekends at my place. He worked from like 3 a.m. till noon most days. I was a nanny, so I was working with a family that was quarantining together, so I felt safe in my job. He was working for Meijer, so he was working with the public consistently. He was a greater risk to me than I was to him, but he would play it off like I was the risk all the time. He's like,

I really shouldn't be seeing you because of lockdown. Okay, well, you're with the public 24 seven, I shouldn't be seeing you. The like labeling of boyfriend and girlfriend was a big rift in our relationship early on. I would say something about being exclusive and he would laugh. Then he would say, I'm just kidding, you know, I'm a one woman guy. I would confront him about our relationship and he would say, I just take that stuff really serious. That label is really important to me and I'm just not sure if I can put that label on us yet. He wanted to be around me all the time.

He wanted to know what I was doing all the time but then when I would imply that he was my boyfriend, he'd go, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow it down. He played it off like it was a joke but it's like, are you serious or not? It felt like I was fighting for him to be my boyfriend all the time, which was so silly to me. As far as I knew, he wasn't seeing anyone else. I wasn't seeing anyone else. We were in lockdown together. He would tell me all the time, you know, I can't go anywhere because

my mom is sick and she has a compromised immune system. So you can't go anywhere, see anyone either. Like even if I wanted to see my friends and remain six feet apart outside, he was like, no, it's not safe. Did you feel happy and fulfilled in the relationship? Initially I did. I wasn't seeing anybody else. I wasn't even seeing my friends. I wasn't seeing my family because of quarantine. So he was all I had. So he was filling of all these voids. I always used to make this joke that we were forced to be a couple because of COVID. If that hadn't happened, I would have continued to date on the apps and I probably would have moved on because he was just so unserious all the time.

Here's Rachel. I would still see him, but it was a distance hangout. We would hang out in the courtyard of my building and sit 20 feet apart from one another and each have a drink and talk. I was also very concerned about him going in to work. He's also a smoker and with his mom's serious health diagnosis, I knew he wasn't going to be able to see his family anytime soon. Once lockdown happened, I asked him what was going on with him and Annie. And he had said, oh, I cut that off right away. That's not happening. I can't expose myself to more people if I ever want to go home and see my family. And for a number of years thereafter, I thought, this is done. It was just a brief fling.

Here's Annie. He was coming to my house every weekend. And sometime in January, he came to my place and he said, Oh man, my neighbor was pounding on my door last night, screaming at me. He was threatening to kill me. and he said, oh man, my neighbor was pounding on my door last night screaming at me. He was threatening to kill me. And I said, why? What do you mean? He's like, well, I was snoring so loud that I woke him up. So he was banging on the door. He's like, I'm scared of this guy. I said, well, did you tell your landlord that? He's like, yeah, he told me it's between him and I.

I remember I ordered him something off Amazon for snoring to help him with it. I gave it to him and sent him home with it. He said to me the next day, it didn't work. He was back at my door again. I'm scared of this guy. And I was like, well, you can stay here as long as you need to, but you should really get this settled. Then there was a snowstorm and he's like, well, I can't go home because there's gonna be nowhere to park on the street and He just never went home after that I Wasn't paying much attention It was nice to have him at the house all the time

And then I said to him if you're not gonna go home, you should really get rid of the apartment He said to me I can't get rid of that apartment. What if you decide to kick me out? I'll have nowhere to go if you decide to kick me out? I'll have nowhere to go. If you decide to dump me, I'll be homeless." Which is just absurd because people live together and break up all the time. You can find another apartment. Another thing we were constantly arguing about was that apartment. He didn't give me any money towards anything. He worked at a grocery store and he didn't bring home groceries. He didn't contribute for electricity. Now I have somebody who's in my house when I normally wouldn't be home because he worked these weird hours. So my electric bill went way up. The water bill went way up because

he took these long showers probably twice a day. I had dogs. He would let the dogs out of their crate and not take them outside and let them poop all over the house. So I would come home from work and there'd be poop everywhere. And I said, why didn't you take them outside? He said, I did. Which he didn't because there's poop everywhere. He let them out of the crate because he didn't want to listen to them barking and just let them run around. He didn't clean up after himself. I found garbage hidden places like he was shoving it under the bed. In the bedroom on his side of the bed, he would always have a ton of garbage on his nightstand. I would get frustrated

and I would say things about it like you need to throw this out. He drank so much soda and he would stack the cans of soda next to the bed. If I took it and threw it out, he got mad at me. Don't touch my stuff. I said, it's not your stuff, it's garbage. You're not throwing it out. His car was completely loaded with garbage at all times. The only place you could sit was the driver's seat. Everything else was garbage.

I overlooked a lot of the way he was because I just assumed he was immature and he was a slob. This is another little story about how disgusting he is. My mom got him a electric toothbrush for Christmas and it was the same one I had. It's a really nice toothbrush. He said to me in private, I'm not going to use that thing. I said, why? It's a really nice toothbrush. He said to me, I'm not using that toothbrush.

I said, well then how have you been brushing your teeth because it's the only toothbrush here? He said, I brush my teeth in the car. I said, what do you mean you brush your teeth in your car? He's like, yeah, I have a toothbrush in there and toothpaste and I brush my teeth in the car. I said, you have a toothbrush and toothpaste in your car full of garbage? Yeah, that's not weird. Valentine's Day 2021. It's our first Valentine's Day together. I made a sock bouquet, so it was like rolled socks that look like roses. And I was excited.

He worked earlier that day and he texted me while he was at work. And he said, my apartment's flooding. I said, what? He said, yeah, I got to get home. There's something wrong. There's water pouring down from my apartment to the apartment below. And I said, well, why can't your landlord just get in there and figure out what's going on? He said, he doesn't have a key. I said, your landlord doesn't have a key to your apartment. And he said, no, he can't find it. And he

sends me screenshots of this conversation with the landlord. Josh runs in from work, runs in the house, grabs his keys, and runs out the door. He's texting me from his apartment saying, oh, it's a radiator leak. It had been leaking for a long time and it just went through the floors. I have so much to clean up here.

It's such a mess. I remember I texted my mom and I was like, isn't this weird? She's like, isn't this weird? And she's like, ah, weirder things have happened, which is true, but it definitely was weird. He had an excuse for everything. He had screenshots that said, look, this is what's happening and how can you argue with that? Yes, this seems weird, but he's showing me the conversation with his landlord.

So I guess that makes sense. May of 2021, we went to Michigan for the MS walk. So he invited me to meet his family and we took COVID precautions because his mom had a weakened immune system. It could kill his mother. That was a big thing he would emphasize to me all the time. You could kill my mother. He made me test before we went. And he made me take a COVID test, but then he didn't take one. He said, well, if you don't have COVID, I don't have COVID. Like, no, that's not how that works. And now I had to stick this thing up my nose and you didn't. When we got to Michigan, I found out that his sister was not vaccinated. She was going out and she was at work. She was an anti-masker. His dad also was not vaccinated. He was an anti-vaxxer. So why

am I the one that's gonna kill your mother? When I met his mom, he told me to bring her a bottle of Jägermeister. He said that's her favorite alcohol. She'll love you. So I handed it to her and she goes, oh thanks. She's like, I'll put it in the freezer. His mom kept calling me goes, oh thanks. She's like, I'll put it in the freezer. His mom kept calling me Lauren, which is his ex's name. His dad called me that girl. It's like they didn't know who I was and we had already been together for a year. It was like I was intruding again. I always felt like I was intruding when I was with

Josh or meeting new people that Josh knew. Here's Rachel. He said he was still living in the same apartment and going to work. Everything seemed normal from my perspective. I wouldn't see him as much, but that was kind of normal just given the time period we were in where it was summer 2021. So I didn't think a whole lot of it. This was also when this talk of I want to find a wife so I can marry her and have babies and move back to Michigan. He was desperately trying to move back to Michigan all the time.

As things with COVID started, restrictions started to lift a bit, things started to open up. Josh, Kaylin, and I would go do things from time to time. We went to a Cubs game together. We went to night at the Shedd Aquarium. They have these jazz nights. We went to night at the Shedd Aquarium. They have like these jazz nights. Went to a few street festivals. This was all around summer 2021. We were all vaccinated, so we felt more comfortable starting to do things. Josh would come to these things and he would seem normal. In hindsight, do you think this was when Annie was at work?

Cause it sounded like they were pretty much always together. Yeah, so he was telling her that he was going to hang out with Kaylin and I, and he'd lie about the activity. He'd always tell her that it was a ticketed activity, and I didn't get a ticket for her so she couldn't come. So he was very strategic in that it was my fault. He definitely kept us separate because he knew that Annie and I would compare notes. At the end of the day, I think Annie and I are fairly similar. He thought that I was a serious threat to his ability to maintain power and control

over Annie. So if I didn't know she existed at this point or for these number of years, then I wouldn't be asking to spend time with her. Here's Annie. I think not till summer of 2021 was he comfortable going out. And he would go out to like Cubs games and he said he was wearing his mask and it was okay because it was outside. One time specifically he texted me and said he was going to go to a Cubs game. And I'm thinking, why wouldn't you invite me?

You don't take me anywhere. He's like, oh, well, Rachel only has enough tickets for me. She invited me. We didn't go anywhere together, really. We went out to eat and that's pretty much it. I had to drag him out the door to go anywhere. So this person who told me he was into trying new things and activities and sports wouldn't go anywhere with me. He would say that he's really tired, you know, he works these weird hours, so he's exhausted and I'm nagging

at him. If I suggested something, he would say, you know, I don't like that. That's a you thing. thing he would say, you know, I don't like that. That's a you thing. October 2021, I was throwing a Halloween party. And I said, Do you want to invite your friends from the city? And he had been hanging out with them in the summer. So I thought everything was fine. And he said, No, I don't talk to them anymore. And this is Rachel and her friends. I said, What do you mean you don't talk to them anymore? Like, I don't want to talk about it. We don't talk anymore. This is a boundary for me. Who's using that weaponized therapy speak all the time. Here's Rachel again. For maybe a year or so when things were opening back up, we were doing things, but the activities

were kind of limited. He would come, we'd do the activity, he would leave. When I would see him, he would talk about how isolated he felt, how alone he felt, different things like that. And I kept reiterating to him, just let me know if it works out with my schedule. I'm more than happy to do something with you whenever I don't want you to feel so isolated, please just let me know. But it would always be, I wouldn't initiate an activity. Had he not been a friend from home,

and had I not really been his only friend in the city, I would have let things fade. However, I felt really bad for him, in all honesty. My parents know him, like my mom would always ask about him. I felt very responsible for him and I cared about him too. So I would be checking in with him and there was one time we went to dinner when restaurants opened and he said, oh, thanks for getting me out of the house. Things were getting really dark there. I was concerned it was depression.

However, I didn't feel as though there was anything I could necessarily do about it. So things go on like this for about a year. And then he just stops responding to any of my texts. He stopped responding to any of Kaylin's texts. He basically fell off the face of the earth. This time period was maybe three months or so and then he came back from that and texted me and said, I'm back. So sorry. Things were really rough. I was feeling really depressed, but I'm feeling

better now. Let's hang out soon. And I was like, I'm so glad you're feeling better. Please next time let me know I'm happy to just come over to your place and hang out with you. After that first period of time when he just disappeared, we were talking and texting a lot again and there were plans in the works. I added into this text with one of my friends because he's very into Love Island, my friend was very into Love Island, and I had just gotten into it. So the three of us were on a Love Island

group text always talking about it. That group text was just always popping off because if you know Love Island, you know there are a million episodes. He was very active in the Love Island group text. We had had a plan, the three of us, to watch the finale of the current season, which never came to fruition because he ended up ghosting and

falling off of the face of the earth a second time. This period of time was very long. Even one of his friends from elementary school reached out to me on Instagram and said, hey, is he okay? None of us can get in touch with him and we're all worried. And I said, I haven't heard from him either. I haven't been able to get in touch with him. He hasn't even talked to me in six or so months. So I don't know. I'm sorry. This started in summer and went into fall. It was about 2022 at this point, so things were definitely more open.

I remember the last time I asked him to do something was around my birthday. My mom and I were going to a Cubs game. I knew he didn't have to work that day and this was after he had said he was just super depressed so I wanted to like invite him to things. I knew he loved to go to Cubs games so I was like hey this is happening I know you're not working this day if you want to come my mom's gonna be in town we're gonna go a Cubs game for my birthday you should come if not to that I'm also going out with people on the weekend if you want

to come to that as well he just never responded to any of it which I thought was very very odd and frankly I was pretty annoyed about it. I just thought it was rude for me to invite him to a Cubs game for my birthday with my mom and him not respond whatsoever. Next time on Something Was Wrong. He can see it's not working on me this time. All the excuses, everything is not working. His face changes so quickly. He goes from screaming and crying and being worked up to just completely calm.

He walks past me into my kitchen, grabs one of my knives out of the knife block. My mom was livid, as you can expect a mother to be. My mom decided that she was going to text Josh. She actually texted him and said, if you ever do anything in the slightest with either Rachel or my nieces' photos again, Mr. D*** and myself will be pursuing legal action against you. I really thought that as someone who feels like I have a very generally good understanding of others and abilities to be in touch with other people, this can happen to anyone. It's not about you, it's about the abuser and the manipulator and the situation. Thank you so much for listening.

Until next time, stay safe, friends. Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram, at Something Was Wrong Podcast. Our theme song was composed by Gladrags. Check out their album, Wonder Under.

Thank you so much. If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.