Something Was Wrong - S21 E7: (1/2) [Krystyn] Ronald Blood is a Monster

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

*Content warning: distressing topics, sex abuse of a child, rape, sodomy, murder, violence, childhood abuse, grooming, arson, animal abuse, disordered eating, self harm, gun violence, suicide..., strangulation, neglect. *Resources:State Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Numbers: https://www.childwelfare.gov/state-child-abuse-and-neglect-reporting-numbers/?rt=795Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: https://www.childhelphotline.org/The Family Gardener: http://thefamilygardener.com For additional non-profit organizations, please visit: http://somethingwaswrong.com/resources Follow Something Was Wrong:Website: somethingwaswrong.com IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcastTikTok: tiktok.com/@somethingwaswrongpodcast Follow Tiffany Reese:Website: tiffanyreese.me IG: instagram.com/lookieboo business@tiffanyreese.me The SWW theme Song is U Think U, by Glad Rags. The S21 cover art is by the Amazing Sara Stewart.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Something Was Wrong early and ad free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Listening on Audible helps your imagination soar. Whether you're listening to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, and ways of thinking. There's more to imagine when you listen. Audible has the best selection of audiobooks without exception and exclusive Audible originals, all in one easy app.
Starting point is 00:00:33 As an Audible member, I choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. This month I selected Top 100 Cases in Criminal Law. This audiobook is awesome because it provides legal briefs from the top 100 cases that have formed the foundation of criminal law in the United States. Sign up for a free 30-day audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. What's the answer?
Starting point is 00:01:08 And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head? Hysterical, a new podcast from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences, as it discusses topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, rape, and murder. Content warnings for each episode and confidential resources for survivors
Starting point is 00:01:34 can be found in the episode notes. Some survivor names have been changed for anonymity purposes. Pseudonyms are given to minors in these stories for their privacy and protection. Testimony shared by guests of the show is their own and does not necessarily reflect the views of myself, broken-cycle media, or Wondery. The podcast and any linked materials should not be construed as medical advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional medical expertise or treatment.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Thank you so much for listening. You don't know me, you don't know me You don't know anybody until you talk to someone Trigger warning to everybody It's important to hear stories like Kristen's and her story is so, so important, but it is probably one of the hardest listeners may have to get through on the show. My name is Kristen Blood. I'm 28 years old. I was born in Munster, Indiana, and continued to live in that general area until I was 17. We lived in multiple different houses, but our main house was on Davidson Place in Whiting, Indiana.
Starting point is 00:03:18 That's where most of the story takes place. Whiting's come a long way now, but when I grew up there it was very small. There was a lot of gang activity, but where I lived wasn't as terrible. There was just a lot of graffiti everywhere. I had two older brothers, Dan and Mark. At the time my parents were married, my father's name being Ronald and my mother's name being Jessica. Their dynamic was weird, which is putting it gently.
Starting point is 00:03:48 There was a lot of arguing, him constantly seeing what she was doing and just being on top of her essentially. There was a lot of mistrust in their relationship. I remember him pushing her against a wall before he would let her leave to go to work, searching her pockets and him apparently finding like a wall before he would let her leave to go to work, searching her pockets, and him apparently finding like a little baggie of drugs. That's what he was looking for apparently. That's how it was. She couldn't just leave the house. He had to like search her pockets, search her phone, because she was either cheating or doing drugs. He needed one reason to like
Starting point is 00:04:19 get mad at her before she left. He was so convinced she was cheating on him left and right and also angry at her that she was a stripper. Yet I remember specifically him being like, you need to go back to stripping to make money. They both had fairs. And early on, I remember reading my mom's diary. It was like that bitch blah, blah, blah, whatever her name was. He had a kid with her. That's how far the affair went. Like, I had a younger brother because of this affair. And they did come to live with us at some point when my mom and dad were fully not living together. I never really met anyone my mom had an affair with. I just know she brought random men to our house, which is not good either. They were both not innocent by any means. When my mom was born, my grandma said she had lost oxygen for a while,
Starting point is 00:05:07 and she seemed to have some sort of like learning delays and things like that. She was never very good in school. She never learned to drive fully. She never got her license. I think a lot of it was just fear, but that's what my grandma always said. She'd always assume she had some sort of delay.
Starting point is 00:05:23 She had a lot going on herself. My mom, she was bullied a lot in high school. One of her so and so friends pushed her into a car with a random man as a joke and that man ended up raping her and she got pregnant at 14 and ended up having to get an abortion. So that just gives you an idea of like her own trauma and then having to get married to my dad. In her wedding photo she looks miserable so I can only imagine. I don't know how much of this is true. My dad's a pathological liar so he's told me all sorts of things about myself. Like he said I was born with some sort of like skull condition where
Starting point is 00:05:57 there's metal plates in my head and I've had an MRI since then so obviously that's not true. He's made up so much stuff, who knows how much of it was actually true. But I know he said my mom had a drug problem. And it is possible. The sexual abuse from your father began at a really young age. Do you actually remember life before any of that happened? No, I remember him introducing that relationship by using his fingers on me. He didn't jump straight to what it became. I think he was trying to see what he could introduce so it wouldn't hurt as much when the time came. But that's like my earliest memories like screaming and crying on a bed and him giving me a pillow to put on my face so that
Starting point is 00:06:44 my brothers didn't hear. He always did it when my mom was at work, because obviously she would have known something was up as she heard me screaming. I had to have only been about like two or three. I know I wasn't in kindergarten yet. When it first started happening, I couldn't even find the words. I said something along the lines of like, he put us together like peanut butter and jelly. My mom was so scared. As soon as my dad got home, she made me sit at the table with him and I of course was freaked out because he said if I ever told anyone that I was gonna be in trouble. So I had that repeating in my brain as we're sitting at this kitchen table. My dad was like, if
Starting point is 00:07:24 you're lying now is the time to admit it so you don't get in trouble. I was like, yeah, yeah, I was lying. I don't know why I said that. That was it. And that was again, him conditioning me because he was like, can we do that thing? He liked to call it that thing because he knew deep inside it's disgusting and vile.
Starting point is 00:07:42 So in kindergarten, you tell the school counselor. Yeah, I remember we were it was like at the beginning of class each day, you would sit on the rug, criss cross applesauce, and they would ask you how your day was or something like that. I had this thing where I would yawn and I would cry, it would make me tear up. And for whatever reason, I kept doing it. I was bawling at one point. So my teacher was like, what is wrong with you? I was like, I can't stop yawning. And so she sends me to the school counselor and we're like playing with Play-Doh and I end up telling her. She asked what my mom does and I was like, oh, she's a stripper. Instead of calling the principal down or CPS, she calls up both of my parents at home and says hello. Your daughter Has been telling me these things. Would you like to talk to her and like gives me the phone and of course I'm freaking out So again, I'm in trouble for saying it again So I just take it all back I get sent back to class and that's it. Like I never hear anything
Starting point is 00:08:39 No one ever interviews me. So as far as I can tell she did absolutely nothing The second time I tried to come to somebody who should have definitely reported it, they again do nothing. And I found her since then and I messaged her because I was like she can't possibly still be helping kids and she is. She's literally a middle school counselor now. I have it right here it was like since you didn't report this incident I continued to get raped by him until I was 11. I hope you take this example and do better that was unacceptable. I never got any sort of response but at the end of the day I wanted her to know her actions have consequences because who knows how
Starting point is 00:09:16 many other people came to her with something happening to them and all she did was just call their parents and tell them what they said. That is not what you're supposed to do. You're a school counselor. You're a mandated reporter. I hope she saw it and I hope she felt terrible about herself. Nicole In first and second grade, you start sharing a little bit more with your peers. Emily Yes. At first, I would tell everyone, and I was trying to figure out if anyone else had this happening. I was like, you know how dads do to their daughters and they would just stare at me like,
Starting point is 00:09:48 what are you talking about? And I'd be like, okay, nevermind. And I would start telling them like, yeah, my dad touches me down there. And you know, he says that other dads do that too. And they're like, no, that's not happening to me. And they would just like get weirded out. Every time I brought a friend over, he would start grooming them is the best way to put it and it did happen to a couple of my friends and one by one they would stop coming over as they should. And I remember every time I would tell a friend I would get sad because I was like oh that means they're never gonna want to come play with me again but I also didn't want it to happen to them. I went from Sally she would always come
Starting point is 00:10:24 knock on my door and she'd always have a smile on her face when she would ask for me. And I finally told her and another friend and they were the last of my two friends to know. And this was like third grade. I remember my dad being like, your friend Sally came by and she just looked like she had just been told her family member died. She's usually so happy when she comes over.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Like what happened to her? That's kind of how it went. And I know that they would tell their moms because I found out later they did. In my brain, I was like, oh, this is going to happen until I'm 18 and get to move out, which luckily it didn't have to take that long. You suffered this abuse from the age estimated two years old to almost 12 years old. How did you mentally survive? I have no idea. And it took like for years and years and even now I have trouble with my fight or flight reflex. The self-harm started young. I remember allergy pills in there and that kind of serrated thing. I would try to use that. I didn't know how to use anything else, because I was like eight. I would eat or not eat.
Starting point is 00:11:27 The eating disorder behavior started early too. My dad told me I was fat in kindergarten. Never tell your kids they're fat, ever. That stuck with me. It was a lot of isolation in my room and music. Music was a big thing. I did count money a lot. I would take my little quarters
Starting point is 00:11:44 and I would make little stacks. I would read so, so many books. I was reading like 500 page novels since kindergarten and I would write in my diary every single day. I stopped writing my diary whenever I got taken and I realized it must have been like a coping mechanism I used. What's weird about it is I actually never wrote
Starting point is 00:12:04 about the abuse of my diary, I guess, because my dad would like sit at the dining room table must have been like a coping mechanism I used. What's weird about it is I actually never wrote about the abuse in my diary, I guess, because my dad would like sit at the dining room table with my brothers and read my diary. So in my mind, I was like, if he were to see that in there, I would get in more trouble and more abuse would happen. But he would just go take it. Like, okay guys, look, we have a new entry,
Starting point is 00:12:22 which you would think would like stop me from writing in it, but I just kept hiding it in different places. He just thought it was so funny to like sit with my brothers and be like, oh look who has a crush on, oh my gosh she's in love. Another thing is that he was my first kiss. He made me French kiss him one time. I remember we were in the public library in Whiting. I told him, I was like, I'm not happy. You keep making me do this and I don't get to have a first kiss. I don't get to have a first time. He just was so annoyed at me for bringing it up.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I remember he would tell me, I'll know if someone else touches you. I was like six or seven. I was like, why would I want anyone to touch me? I really don't like when you do it. I didn't understand why he was so worried. Scammers are best known for living the high life until they're forced to trade it all in for handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit once they're finally caught.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I'm Saatchi Cole. And I'm Sarah Hagge. And we're the host of Scamfluencers, a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twists and turns of some of the most infamous scams of all time, the impact on victims, and what's left once a facade falls away. We've covered stories like a Shark Tank certified entrepreneur who left the show with an investment but soon faced mounting bills, an active lawsuit filed by Larry King, and no real product to push.
Starting point is 00:13:47 He then began to prey on vulnerable women instead, selling the idea of a future together while stealing from them behind their backs. To the infamous scams of Real Housewives stars like Teresa Giudice, what should have proven to be a major downfall only seemed to solidify her place in the Real Housewives Hall of Fame. Follow scam influencers on the Wendree app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Scamfluencers early and ad-free right now on Wendree+.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast.
Starting point is 00:14:28 It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well, you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical.
Starting point is 00:14:42 You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since The Witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here. Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. ["Wonderful Wondery"]
Starting point is 00:15:19 Whenever Dad's in the picture, it's like, when they open the door in horror movies and lightning strikes, that's what it was like whenever he would come home. We just hated being around him. My brothers, they both had a friend, Todd. He had a little sister or cousin or something that he lived with and we would watch her from time to time. And she had an older sister. My brother, Mark, had a crush on her. My dad would always make jokes with him like, oh, you're going to ask her out? She has a crush on you. My dad would always make jokes with him, like, oh, you gotta ask her out, she has a crush on you.
Starting point is 00:15:47 And then he asked this girl to babysit me. That night, he left and he came back within like 30 minutes with wine coolers and said, oh, I called out of work. I decided to just stay home. It was just very obvious to me what he was doing. He was giving her wine coolers and eventually that same night I could hear them. I wouldn't consider it consensual. He also had
Starting point is 00:16:08 given her wine coolers and she was 15 or 16. And then the next day I remember him bragging to my brother how he had had sex with her. And I was just like, what the fuck is wrong with you? On so many different levels, how could you do that? And then brag about it to your son who you know how to crush on her. That's why I say my brother's definitely had their own role of trauma in their life from him being that emotionally abusive. Was there ever any suspected abuse of your brothers physically or sexually? No, and neither one of them has said it.
Starting point is 00:16:42 physically or sexually? No, and neither one of them has said it. They mostly just go into detail about the verbal abuse that we went through. We would always play board games in rock band. That was our thing. But all of us had the understanding that we had basically had to let our dad win, or he would just throw a fit. This grown man would just throw a fit that he was losing a game of monopoly. We must be cheating. It was not fun to play with him. And that's how it was for everything.
Starting point is 00:17:10 He would tell my younger of the older brother's day end that he could get whatever he wanted to eat on his birthday. It would make it a whole thing. And my brother would be like, oh, I want KFC. He loved fried chicken. So he would get him fried chicken and then make him feel horrible about getting fried chicken. He'd be like, you know, I have no money. And of course you asked for something so expensive. And then my brother would be crying in his room because my dad would call him fat, tell
Starting point is 00:17:35 him that it's awful of him to make him spend money, even though he made it his idea to begin with. I would be in my room feeling guilty for my brother and be like, it's okay, Dan. For months and months, I would randomly yell into my brother's room, it's okay. He'd be like, what are you talking about? I felt very protective of my brothers, which sounds weird because I was the younger one. I think my older of my two brothers, Mark, is the most traumatized in the way just because he's the oldest one and he saw the most of everything my dad is So we're all very different levels of fucked up, but like he's very stoic and cold I can tell he loves me, but it's hard to explain him and then Dan
Starting point is 00:18:16 He's not stoic and cold, but he has a lot of issues as well My fiance tells me it's hard to believe that you're the least fucked up of all of you But you went through the most. I'm like, yeah, but at the same time, I like, I get it. Everyone handles trauma differently. So I'm fortunate enough that I have been able to come out of it more functional is the best way to put it. I was dealing with my own stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:38 And so things that were traumatizing them probably just slipped through the cracks in my brain. They tell me later that they thought I was spoiled rotten. My dad would buy me things, but it was like, I'll buy you whatever toy you want if you do this and so forth. So in their brain, I was just spoiled because they didn't see the other half of it. As my brothers got older, he would send them to get milk a lot of the time because that would give him enough time to like do what he needed to do.
Starting point is 00:19:03 And if they came back early and he wasn't done, he would have me hide in his closet so that he could be like, oh, I don't know where Kristen is while they were looking around the house for me. And I brought that up to them later and they were like, it makes a lot more sense now. We never understood where you were all the time. During bath time, he would do a thing where you drew sticks. And if you got the shortest stick, you had to take a bath last. And he would always make sure that I got the shortest stick. Every time that would happen, I would run to our basement and try to hide because I
Starting point is 00:19:36 didn't want to, obviously. He would always find me. He would pretend that the only way to like give me medicine for worms that we had all gotten from a new puppy was for him to insert his penis into me with the medication because girls needed to have it done special and my brothers only had to take an oral pill. I noticed that he kept that story going long after my brother stopped taking the pills. You know as a kid you would fall asleep in the living room and your parents would carry you upstairs And that should be like a pleasant dish memory
Starting point is 00:20:07 But if I fell asleep and he was carrying me upstairs Then I would know what that meant and one time I was really happy Because he had carried me to his bed and he didn't try anything with me. It was really hot in her house The AC wasn't working. He was like you can take off your clothes. Don't worry I'm not gonna do anything to you I was happy to like be cuddling with my dad and him not do something to me. And then he ruined that completely. And he actually sodomized me for the very first time. And it was so painful. I think it was like eight or nine. And he stopped
Starting point is 00:20:38 doing it. And he never did it again. Thank goodness. And this is why I'm such a light sleeper now. I wake up at the drop of anything. He's also ruined honey for me to this day. I cannot eat honey because he would make me go down on him and he would put honey on it to try to make it more pleasant for me. I also thought about this recently. I've had a hard time connecting with animals and I always assumed it was because I'm a mother now and I just don't have a lot of room in my heart and then like I thought about it deeper than that. I think it has more to do with who my dad was as a person so I always loved animals especially cats. My mom was a cat person. We went through a lot of cats but
Starting point is 00:21:18 something he would find funny to do was he would stick a cat in a bag like a grocery bag and have us whip it above our heads as fast as we could, which is horrendous on its own. We had like a newborn kitten one time and he stuck it in the microwave and turned it on. He would drive cats into the middle of the highway when he didn't want them anymore and throw them out of the moving vehicle in front of us. One time we came home and our family cat that we've had for a really long time named Mickey, he was like a big old fat orange cat, kind of like Garfield. He said that Mickey had died and how he died was that my mom's boyfriend at the time stabbed
Starting point is 00:21:54 him to our fence and wrote in blood, you're next. Yet it wasn't there. And knowing my dad as a person, if that truly had happened, he would have taken pictures at the very least or he would have kept it up for us to see because he did not give a damn about traumatizing us. But he pretended to be a holier than thou and said that he did it because he didn't want us to have to see that. Church wasn't a thing really at all until I think it was second grade and he got super
Starting point is 00:22:22 involved. He played the card of I'm the poor single dad who gets no help from my ex-wife. In the beginning everyone liked him no matter what with women with people until they see the real side of him he comes off as the most likable man. So when we went to church he would comb his hair really nice and dress up nice and do our hair. We were well liked there. We really were. And he actually had a relationship with a woman there. She was so sweet and they had this innocent relationship where he would write her these love letters and she would write them back. The most they ever did
Starting point is 00:22:56 was probably kiss. He was talking about her moving in with us. I was like, no, no, no, no, that cannot happen because when that happens, she's going to get treated terribly. He's going to beat her. He's going to rape her. It's not going to be a good relationship anymore. And I really liked her. I could tell she was a very pure, very moral person. And eventually, I guess her parents started to see that my dad was not a good person,
Starting point is 00:23:17 saying he had too much baggage. And that was definitely the least of their concerns that they really knew. And eventually, she told my dad, my parents don't approve, it needs to end. And then from there, we didn't go to church as much. In fourth grade, living in your new apartment, what caused that move there? My dad was not good with money. Neither was my mom, but to be fair, it was my dad.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Like, he just spent it on anything. Like he took out his 401k at one point when he got fired, which was like $24,000, which back then was a lot of money. And it was gone within a month. I don't even know if he worked the time of the apartment. He either wasn't working or was laid off or there's a small possibility he was working at a welding gas company. I don't know. Just know his car smelled awful because it smelled like gas. My grandpa, my mom's dad, got him the job and definitely regretted that because he figured out he's a piece of shit. He does get fired, takes out his 401k, and eventually does go on disability.
Starting point is 00:24:15 At the very end when we were living in like a trailer in Tennessee right before we were taken, we'd lived off of like $600 a month of disability. I think you got money in Tennessee just for like being unemployed and having kids. He would miss so many payments on that house that we would get kicked out. And we moved in and out of it a few times because I guess it was in such bad shape that they had a hard time selling it.
Starting point is 00:24:42 She struck him with her motor vehicle. She had been under the influence that she left him there. In January 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O'Keefe. It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location. What happens next depends on who you ask. Was it a crime of passion?
Starting point is 00:25:09 If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling. This was clearly an intentional act. And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia. Or a corrupt police cover-up. If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover-up to prevent one of their own from going down. Everyone had an opinion, and after the 10-week trial,
Starting point is 00:25:33 the jury could not come to a unanimous decision. To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is. Law and crime presents the most in-depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen. You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. When we moved to Tennessee, we were staying with my dad's cousin.
Starting point is 00:26:07 My brothers really hated it. My dad must have not liked it either because he couldn't do as much of what he was doing to me there. He would take me to where the UPS trucks parked down the street, park in between them to like do that. He was driving me around one night. That was usually the sign that something was about to happen and he said your brothers are really unhappy in this house and I have a trailer we could move into tomorrow but I'm not
Starting point is 00:26:32 going to unless you do this tonight. If you don't want to do it then I'm gonna drive home and I'm gonna tell them it didn't work out and I'm not gonna sign the lease for it. I agreed and we moved into that trailer the next day and we slept on mattresses on the floor. For a minute there we lived in an apartment which is across the street from my aunt and her daughter lived. We weren't that close with them. We started living there and the girl, Suzie, her mom was the Girl Scout leader. And that's how I knew her. The Girl Scout leader, she would teach my dad how to like make my hair look better because I had curly hair and I hated it of course. That mom herself is, she's something. Her son actually started trying to touch me a couple times while I stayed at her home and I told her about it and she said,
Starting point is 00:27:19 I confronted him about it and he didn't go run and hide under his bed. So that means that he didn't do it. She had a daughter, Susie, and we weren't that close, but we were friends mostly because of Girl Scouts. And my dad took advantage of the fact that she had mental delays. Around this time, he groomed her. He had started the process before we lived in that apartment. It started at the house. He started the same way he did with me, where he would essentially be like, do you want me to like make you feel good?
Starting point is 00:27:49 We were in this apartment. He was like, I'm going to take you guys to the fair. I'm going to give you as much money and you can get anything you want and do anything you want. But in order to do that, Suzy, you're going to have to do this. And Kristen, she's done it a bunch of times. So she'll be there for you. She'll hold your hand. I just remember us laying on this gross apartment floor, me holding her hand as she's crying and screaming the same way like I used to do as well, and holding a pillow over her face from the couch,
Starting point is 00:28:17 just so we would get money to go to the fair. Of course, she was scared. I feel horrible about this, because I feel like it's partially my fault, which it is, but at the same time, I'm a child. I have a lot of guilt and we've talked about it later. When I first got taken, I called her and I said, it's okay to tell your mom what happened now. What is your mom's role and what's your relationship like with her through these years, elementary,
Starting point is 00:28:46 getting into early junior high years? It's hard now because I see her slightly differently. But at the time, my mom was like my best friend. I loved her. I wanted to be attached to her hip. My brothers weren't exactly the same way. They were kind of on my dad's side. She fought with him a lot. That's all I really remember as far as that relationship goes. It was very up and down. I wasn't angry at her a lot. When she still lived with my dad, there definitely was affairs happening. Whenever my dad would go to work, she would bring a lot of people to our home and there was definitely drugs going on. She had the sense to at least lock us
Starting point is 00:29:23 in our rooms. She didn't want us to see. It wasn't so much like a, I don't want to deal with you kids. It was like she was ashamed to let us see what she was doing. Me and my brother should be like, I really hope they get divorced soon because we were scared he was going to kill her. Especially me. There was like a little closet at the top of the stairs. And whenever they would start fighting, I would go lay in the closet and listen downstairs because in my brain, if he does start to kill her, I could run downstairs and save her. I wanted to make sure I knew if something was happening to her
Starting point is 00:29:54 because I was very attached to her. And it got to the point that she did move out. It would get bad enough at home that she would just show up at school and tell the school that we had a dentist appointment. In reality, she had our bags packed and she was taking us to like a woman's shelter. There was one that we went to, I think it was in Attica, Indiana, and we were there for a little bit, but she kept breaking curfew and we'd get kicked out.
Starting point is 00:30:17 When my mom and dad were actually separated, I think it was around the time we lived the apartment, we came to stay because my dad dad convinced her to like stay the night. They were on the couch next to me, and I remember him trying to rape her and hearing her scream. Like he eventually got her to go to the bedroom, and you could hear her being like, I don't want this, stop touching me,
Starting point is 00:30:36 and him doing it anyways. It didn't just go to children, it went to adult women as well. Me and my mom lived in this tiny little apartment across from my elementary school that I went to for just a little bit of time. I remember there was a point I had lice for like six months straight, who knows why? Neglect, I don't know. I didn't go to school a lot. I missed a lot of fourth grade. I think that eventually after missing that many months of school, they would be like, hey, maybe there's something going on.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Like I remember my dad and my mom combing all the lice out of my hair. And the only thing that finally got rid of it was my dad bleach and blunted my hair at fourth grade. And this was after they cut it really short, like to my ears, thinking that would work somehow. I don't know why. It just seems like a very long time to have lice. But I loved living in that apartment
Starting point is 00:31:25 with my mom. She got me a kitten and we were very close. We would watch Fear Factor every day after school. And she would give me all the food I could eat, junk food, ramen. She never made me feel bad about my grades or anything. And then she got a boyfriend. His name is Arthur. And things got weird from there. He was in a gang. That's all I really knew about him. He asked to move into our apartment. She told him, no, it's a one-bedroom. It's too small and within a week our apartment burned down, which is a weird coincidence. Not that there's any proof he did it, but there was always speculation. Luckily we weren't there. My dad would sometimes convince her to come back to the house, but I remember being really sad that the home I had with her where I was happy
Starting point is 00:32:13 and content was burned down and that we'd have to be back where I was getting hurt. After the apartment burned down, we moved into this little duplex down the street with Arthur unfortunately. It was kind of tumultuous there, not in front of me per se, but he always wanted to be near her. If she showered, he had to be in the shower with her. I didn't like him. I don't know, I had a bad feeling about him, which was right.
Starting point is 00:32:38 And it came to the point that her best friend, who was also the mom of my best friend at the time, she would tell me that my mom had bruises all over her body and I would try to like look and she would be like, no, no, no, I just fell. My dad, when he did get custody of me, I was forced to move back in with him. After my mom and Arthur got arrested for like drug possession, I think, he would tell my brothers and me that we shouldn't talk to her. That way she'll be more likely to come home.
Starting point is 00:33:06 We have to like be mad at her. The last time I saw her in person, I had just gotten done playing with her hair and telling her it felt like straw. She would bleach her little hair at home with like actual bleach because she didn't have money to like go to a hairstylist. I was telling her she needed to stop bleaching it and just cut it and all that stuff. And then we started passing notes back and forth
Starting point is 00:33:28 because my dad was probably playing video games in front of us I didn't want him to hear. And I was telling her I had this crush on a boy. It wasn't anything super profound, but it was mother daughter things like, I felt comfortable talking to her about mostly anything except the obvious. That was the last time I did see her and then we had that phone call.
Starting point is 00:33:49 My dad gave me the phone and I talked for a minute and she had the phone in her hand and she kept having to walk right outside her house on her little house phone. Like she couldn't get that far but she didn't want Arthur to hear what she was saying. She was talking about how she was going to leave him and then the phone cut out. And when she tried to call back, I wanted to listen to my dad and like not talk to her so she would come home faster. So I pretended to be asleep. That was the last time I ever talked to her.
Starting point is 00:34:14 You go to a sleepover and your dad calls you the next day. We are playing dance dance revolution, eating pizza. And I was happy to have a sleepover. It was like girl I wasn't really close with, but some of my close friends were there. And I remember waking up pretty early. I was possibly going to spend the night again. And I remember my dad calling and he said, I needed to come home. There was something he had to tell me. And I remember being scared for a much different reason. Because normally what that meant when he would
Starting point is 00:34:44 make me leave places early and things like that is he found a reason to get me in trouble. And if there was a reason to get me in trouble, that meant that I was either going to be grounded for weeks at a time until I did what he wanted me to do, which at this point in time, I was willing to do much less because I was older.
Starting point is 00:35:01 The older I got, harder it was to convince me to do it. So it took isolation and grounding and not letting me do literally anything. So I was scared to go home. I was walking home in the snow and I walk in and everyone's in the living room. My brothers are there and my dad's like, I ordered pizza but we don't have to worry about your mom paying child support anymore and my older brother, Mark, was like that is not how you're gonna tell her. And then I remember my dad went to go make a phone call in the room and I was listening
Starting point is 00:35:30 in and he told somebody that she got shot in the head. And at that point, I had this hope that she got shot, but she's in the hospital or she's alive. He hadn't officially told me yet. I'm like trying to eat a piece of pizza and I'm trying not to cry because that was also something he didn't like. He didn't like me crying. He didn't like any of us crying. If we cried, we got yelled at. And so I eventually just went in the bathtub and just laid there numb and crying about it. I don't think he ever actually told me, but I remember my
Starting point is 00:36:01 brother Mark was just like, are you're doing okay? Are you sure? It was like, yeah. And I went to school. The reason I went to school is I actually won a trip to go to Navy Pier, which is like a carnival place because I read so many books that year. But I remember this, my fifth grade teacher came up to me and was like, you didn't finish your essay. And I was like, oh, sorry. And she was like, have a nice time on your field trip. She was just so mean. I was like, how could you possibly be this mean to someone whose mom would just kill? My other teachers knew. I remember them being a little bit more soft to me. I don't know what was wrong with this teacher. I think her grandmother had maybe passed, but either
Starting point is 00:36:41 way, there's no excuse to be mean to a fifth grader. Those are the most prevalent memories. And then my dad told us we had to pretend that we didn't know because my grandparents, my maternal grandparents, wanted to be the ones to tell me, probably because they knew how shitty my dad was. So we had to pretend. And I remember my grandma telling me later that she thought it was weird that I didn't look surprised or sad, but it was because I was told to pretend I didn't know yet. I just missed her and when she was home, what happened to me didn't happen as often. My mom was the person I cared most about in the world.
Starting point is 00:37:13 So sorry for your loss and how traumatic that had to have been for you. And then coming to terms with that news while simultaneously being trapped in an environment that doesn't allow you to be yourself or feel your feelings. Was there anybody in your life that you did feel like at this time you could talk to about any of this? No, but I became closer with my grandmother later on, but we didn't have a super close one because they didn't like my dad. My dad didn't like them, so he didn't let us see him. I don't remember being super close to my friends. Maybe I was, but honestly, I just don't remember a lot
Starting point is 00:37:49 because trauma. I think people just don't know how to handle stuff like that. I remember telling my friend, my mom was killed and she was like, on my birthday? She was so concerned it was on her birthday. It was just a weird response, but I mean mean people just respond differently. I already knew Arthur was abusive. I wasn't able to talk to my grandparents much.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Also, I wasn't the type to ask questions at this time. When we had the funeral, Arthur's son did come and apparently he was in the home at the time it happened, which means he probably knows what happened. He was in his 20s, I think. He had a baby. Who knows if he was afraid of his dad or what. I don't know. But I just remember my grandma liked him enough and knew how much he loved my mom that she did let him come to the funeral. At the funeral, I was like slapping myself in the face in the bathroom so that I would not cry at my mom's funeral, which is crazy to me now. That's what I used to do. Like if I didn't want not cry at my mom's funeral, which is crazy to me now.
Starting point is 00:38:45 That's what I used to do. If I didn't want to cry and my dad was being an asshole or anything like that, it was like pinching yourself or slapping yourself in the face. Her death certificate is ruled a homicide. Arthur's claim is that they were fighting and she shot herself in the head. It was like one of those guns that needs gun powder and all this stuff that my mom doesn't know how to do. That made it even more obvious. It wasn't until I was taken that I really got to know more about the details.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And it wasn't even until actually a few years ago that I got to know even more details. Because in my head, they must have been looking into it. There must have been something done. I remember my grandma telling me, like, they said they needed to test to see if he could have shot her at the angle He did and killed her and then they'll bring it to the DA But nothing no charges were ever brought to that man for murder I can't even find the original article that I found a long time ago
Starting point is 00:39:36 It had a picture of a candle and it said like domestic violence Woman gets killed by her boyfriend and he commented on it Arthur did and said I would, I would have never hurt her. She killed herself. I feel so sorry for her kids. I loved her. And I commented, don't you dare say that. I saw the bruises. Everyone knows you murdered her. And I don't think he responded. I was probably like 14 years old. Nicole Sarris Were your brothers involved with the investigation and giving statements or anything like that? Jennifer L. No, and no one really asked me anything either. Like the only time I talked Were your brothers involved with the investigation and giving statements or anything like that? No, and no one really asked me anything either.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Like the only time I talked to a detective of my mom's murder was when I reached out to them in my 20s. I did find her diary. I've read it so many times. A year to the day of her being murdered. So December 15, 2006, it was, I need to go. I can't live like this no more. I have never been so ready to go. I don't know where but I can't stay here. Ten days till Christmas and I don't know
Starting point is 00:40:31 where I'll be staying. I can't live with it anymore. I'm afraid I'll end up dead. Beaten and strangled will be how he'll do it. He's getting worse and worse. Little things set him off. I think he has used me up and now he's ready to destroy me. I could kick myself for falling for someone like him again Am I that stupid? I don't like this. I seriously feel used and abused. What the hell did I do deserve this type of life? I just left an abusive relationship. I can't believe he tells me I must like it. I hate it if I liked it I don't think I would be suffering from depression. I need to go So that's very telling. She knew it. A year in advance, she knew it. She definitely didn't feel like she
Starting point is 00:41:10 had choice and she did try to leave. That's what the theory is that she was packing up, trying to leave and he didn't like that and he shot her. Your dad wasn't any nicer to you after your mom was gone. No, I don't remember this for sure. But I think he waited a few more days than normal before he asked to do it again. There were times if I got really upset and I was like, I don't understand why you're doing this to me. Like I need you to explain it to me that he would eventually be like, Oh, it's because I heard my parents having sex when I was a kid, which what? How does that explain anything?
Starting point is 00:41:47 He would say he was done doing it. The most time that ever went by without him asking was like a month. It was a good month, but still. As a kid, he didn't wait for me to say yes, like three, four, five, six, seven, you know. He would just do it, didn't care. But eventually he would make sure that I agreed to it in a sense. There were so many different ways
Starting point is 00:42:09 he used a bribery, the isolation, the groundings, and the lies. He would make up, be like, oh, I found out that she had a secret boyfriend she's been sneaking out to meet for the past six months. That's what he would tell people I was doing. But in reality, I was stuck at home not able to do anything except maybe go to church. Truly an evil human being. I remember when we were younger, them telling me on my birthday one year that they were officially divorced.
Starting point is 00:42:36 But when you look in their records, divorce was never finalized. She was murdered in 2007, and there were still updates in 2008. They never got divorced as far as the court system sees it. The last time it had happened to me was the 30th, this is birthday, October 30th. My dad asked me if I would do it and I was like, no. He's like, it's my birthday gift, please.
Starting point is 00:42:59 I won't ask you again for a while. I wouldn't do it. So he took away all my belongings. He wouldn't let me go to church. And then it was like a few days later, I wouldn't do it. So he took away all my belongings. He wouldn't let me go to church. And then it was like a few days later, I finally agreed. I remember like laying under my bed, not eating. I was so depressed and just tired. My Tennessee friend,
Starting point is 00:43:14 I usually would stay the night at her house, which is what I preferred, but this time she stayed at mine and I told her what was happening. And I was like, you can't tell your mom. And of course she told her mom. The mom called the counselor. The counselor called me in the very day, the 18th. I won't name her but she's a very sweet woman. People had asked me before and I would just lie.
Starting point is 00:43:33 But in that moment, I was done. When she pulled me into the office, I think I was just so broken. I was so ready for it to be done that I said it. I didn't think anything would happen because nothing had before. It felt fast to me. I was taken. I didn't think anything happened because nothing had before. It felt fast to me. I was taken. I went to stay at that counselor's house that night until they found me like a placement, which ended up being my aunt in Tennessee.
Starting point is 00:43:54 The day I got taken, that was my day of freedom. Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media Production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram, at Something Was Wrong Podcast. Our theme song was composed by Gladrags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much. If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery
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