Something Was Wrong - S9 E9: He's Escalated

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

Darcy, Danielle and Kenji head to court -- and all of Ardie's lies are called into question.**Thank you so much for listening to and sharing Season 9! Your support and encouragement has meant so much to Danielle, Kenji and myself.Season 10 starts next Thursday October 7th and will feature 11 incredible survivors. Their stories will be told in episodic format meaning more inspiring stories and less cliffhangers.Listen to all of Season 9 available now and make sure to follow Something Was Wrong wherever you love to listen to your podcasts so you don't miss a single new brave story in Season 10!**Follow @SomethingWasWrongPodcast on Instagram For free mental health resources, please visit SomethingWasWrong.com/ResourcesSources:National Domestic Violence Hotline: Identifying & Overcoming Trauma Bonds, by Rachel, a Hotline Advocate. Accessed August 4, 2021. https://www.thehotline.org/resources/trauma-bonds-what-are-they-and-how-can-we-overcome-them/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast Killer Psychy Daily, I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the cold-butter killers you read about in the news. Listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast Killer Psychy Daily in the Amazon Music exclusive podcast killer psyche daily in the Amazon music app. Download the app today. Something was wrong is intended for mature audiences. Episodes discuss topics that can be triggering such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence,

suicide, and murder. I am not a therapist or a doctor. If you're in need of support, please visit somethingwaswrong.com slash resources for a list of nonprofit organizations that can help. Some names have been changed for anonymity purposes. Opinions expressed by guests on the show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of myself or audio chuck. Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening. For those who have an experienced interpersonal violence themselves, it can sometimes be confusing

as to why some victims stay in abusive relationships. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that of victims' reasons for staying with their abusers are extremely complex. And in most cases, are based on the reality that their abuser will follow through with the threats they use to keep them trapped. The abuser will hurt or kill them or hurt or

kill their kids. The win custody of the children, they will harm or kill pets or others. They will ruin their victim financially, and the list goes on. The victim in violent relationships knows their abuser best, and fully knows the extent to which they will go to make sure they have and can maintain control over their victim. The victim literally may not be able to safely escape or protect those they love.

A recent study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of homicide victims were not the domestic violence victims themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders. The National Domestic Violence Hotline warns that abuse is about power and control. When a survivor leaves their abusive relationship, they threaten the whole of their partner has established over the survivor's agency, which may cause the partner to retaliate in harmful ways. As a result, leaving is often the most dangerous period of time for survivors of abuse. Fear, shame, gaslighting, normalizing abuse, intimidation,

low self-esteem, lack of resources, disabilities, immigration status, cultural context, children, and coercive control are just some of the reasons victims have difficulty leaving their abuser. The cycle of abuse, tension, explosion, love bombing can lead to what psychologists call trauma bonding. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, biologically speaking, the bonds we develop originate from our infantile dependence on someone else for survival. Usually, our primary caregiver or parent. Survival is the foundation of human attachment. So when safety is threatened, i.e. trauma, we naturally turn to someone seen as the caregiver in our lives, someone who provides support, protection,

and care. When this bonding occurs, oxytocin, often called the love hormone, is released in our brains, furthering comfort and attachment with the caregiver. In adult relationships, this caregiver is often our significant other. We can see how then trauma bonds occur. When the person we regard as our significant other, the caregiver is also the one creating trauma by threatening our safety through abusive behavior. Given that we are hardwired from birth to turn to an attachment figure when threatened, we naturally turn to our romantic partners when abuse occurs, even if they're the ones

who are being abusive to us. This leads to victims feeling bonded to their abusers. We also have a tendency to try and make sense of our experiences, and so we work hard to rationalize the dissonance between our abusive partners caring and harmful actions. This rationalization strengthens the bond further. On top of all of that, abusive partners often promise change and actively tend to the wounds they create,

precisely at those moments when we feel most vulnerable and hurt. The danger of traumatic bonding lies in the impact repeated trauma has on us, and while some effects are more avert, such as marks from physically abusive behaviors, others may be less noticeable. One common impact of experiencing any type of abuse is overproduction of cortisol. Normally released to provide energy when we're faced with stress, too much cortisol can damage our immune system and make us more susceptible to illness, causing anxiety and create

high blood pressure. On top of physical marks or the overproduction of cortisol, there are a slew of other health concerns that may result from abuse, from asthma to fibromyalgia to sexual dysfunction, flashbacks and depression, repeated trauma can impact our physical health in surprising ways. With our understanding of what's behind traumatic bonding and its dangers in mind, it's worthwhile to take steps towards overcoming the trauma bonds. While it may be easier said than done, it is still entirely possible. I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is...something was wrong. You don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, you don't know me, So, Christmas Eve, I'm hanging out at the house with my kids where I have in a good time and I get a knock on my door.

I look through the doorbell camera and there's a guy carrying a couple of small wrapped presents, and I can hear him through my camera saying, oh, special delivery for Mr. Kenji and his kids. I have a special Christmas delivery. I immediately knew right away, okay, this guy, I never seen this guy before, I don't know who he is, I don't know why he would be bringing wrap presents for me and my kids, but I didn't

answer the door. He stays there and he keeps knocking and knocking for a couple minutes and I kind of had a hunch that he was a process server or something and that he was trying to get me to come to the door so he could serve me. So I just didn't answer the door. And eventually he leaves. And I wait a few minutes and I open the front door to see if he had left the presents or whatever to see if he was actually legit and sure enough

There's a stack of papers on my doorstep and it was another restraining order from Arty Which by the way this guy illegally served me because I never answered the door He just left the papers there, but regardless. I pick up the papers. I look through them and in the restraining order application Arty says he needs protection from me because I'm continuing to contact and harass his girlfriends. And so he attaches some screenshots of the text messages I had sent to like Valerie and Barbara when I had asked about the car keys the previous month. And then he also claims in his restraining order that I created this website about him that's slanderists and all this stuff. And then he attaches just screenshots of the website.

No evidence to prove that I was tied to the website in any way. So when I see this, I'm pissed. It's Christmas Eve. I'm trying to enjoy the holiday with my kids. This guy had just hacked one of my social media accounts a week or two prior. And here he is trying to file yet another restraining order against me claiming I'm doing anything to him, harassing him in any way which isn't true. It's the holiday I can't get a hold of my lawyer then, so I wait until the week after, when I tell my lawyer about this, and she suggests that we file a restraining order in response because, yeah, this is bullshit.

He's going to drag me to court over again another set of false accusations and He can't get away with it. So she encourages me to file another restraining order And I do and you know I touch all the stuff from the prior restraining order I had filed and then all the information about my social media account being hacked and I talked to Darcy and her friend And I convinced them to come and testify on my behalf and let the judge know that this guy has tried to get me fired from my job, has threatened to hire a hitman to murder me, has threatened to murder our kids, and they agreed. I tried to subpoena my work to get them to testify that already had filed a bogus complaint

to try and get me fired. The appointed judge on Kenji's application was presiding over multiple restraining orders filed against Arty. So she decided to hear all the evidence at one hearing and make her ruling then. Well, I mean, my lawyer said this was pretty much a slam dunk case at this point. Based on everything this guy had done, she said, I've seen restraining orders get granted for much, much less. You have so much evidence, so much detail here. You've got two witnesses who are gonna testify like a slam dunk,

right? And I thought the same thing. So the case gets postponed to February. I'm just kind of anxious to get it over with. I just don't like this thing looming over me. I just want to get this restraining order. I want to get this done closes chapter. I don't want to have anything to do with Darcy already any of this crap anymore. This is just gotten way beyond anything I would have ever expected. So February comes along and I'm short to court. We wait to be called and we're called in about 10 30 in the morning. Darcy, Danielle and Kenji were all present in the court the day of their collective hearing, February 18th, 2021. And the case takes up pretty much the whole rest of the day. At the beginning of the hearing, Arty tries to postpone the hearing, you know,

saying that he hasn't had enough time to gather his evidence or subpoena his witnesses, more anything like that. But yeah, it's clear that he doesn't have any evidence against me He tries to say that I photoshop some of the text messages and basically tries to describe all the evidence I've got that doesn't happen the judge except pretty much all the evidence I submitted to the case and then in turn denies All of his evidence that he submitted because it's all hearsay so like the text messages to Valerie and Barbara and because they weren't there at the court to testify that I had sent those messages and that they had responded the way they did, the judge didn't accept it because it's all hearsay.

Because a restraining order hearing he has to prove that I did something to him directly to be threatened, harmed, or whatever and me communicating with his girlfriends, there's nothing there. Not to mention that I hadn't threatened them or done anything to make them feel fearful of their safety, but I just asked for my car keys back, basically. So during the hearing, Artie is really flustered because he's getting nowhere. Every request he's making is getting shot down. My lawyer starts to go through the website because he accused me of creating the

website so she begins to cross examine already about the website and he's trying to object or plead the fifth or whatever and the judge is telling him, oh you have to answer questions about the website because you're accusing this man of making slander statements about you on this website so let's go through each of the line items on the website and see if these things are true. And I think that was the best part of the hearing for me because the first thing my lawyer asked them is you claim to be a doctor. Are you a licensed doctor?

Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of Wondries Podcast American scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in US history, presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In our newest series, we look at the Kids for Cash scandal, a story about corruption inside America's system of juvenile justice. In Northeastern, Pennsylvania, residents had begun noticing an alarming trend. Children were being sent away to jail in high numbers,

and often for committing only minor offenses. The FBI began looking at two local judges, and when the full picture emerged, it made national headlines. The judges were earning a fortune, carrying out a brazen criminal scheme, one that would shatter the lives of countless children, and force a heated debate about punishment, an America's criminal justice system. Follow American scandal wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder

App. You could hear a pin drop in court when Kenji's lawyer began questioning Arty about his medical licensing. And he says to the judge, yes I am. and my lawyer asked him, okay, where are you licensed to practice medicine? And he answers in Europe, and she says, okay, which country in Europe? And then he says, the UK, and she says, no, which country in Europe?

And then he says, oh, England. And then she digs deeper and she asks him, okay, so, well, where did you go to medical school? And he says in Europe, and she says no, where did you go to medical school in England? And he says, oh, you know, he's like fumbling around for a few seconds, clearly trying to make up something on the spot. He says, oh, um, St. John's. And then she says, okay, what city is St. John's located in?

And he says, uh, in Oxford and she says, okay, where did you do your residency? And then he says, oh, uh, I didn't do residency. And then she says, okay, well, you didn't do a residency, but you said your license doctor, how is that true? And he admits, well, okay, I you were a licensed doctor. How is that true? And he admits, well, okay, I'm not a licensed doctor. I never finished or whatever. And it's like, okay, instant perjury right there, right? Everyone in the court room is like kind of rolling their eyes at this point, but my lawyer continues. And she's like, okay, well, where'd you do your internship then? And he says, Oh, what's St. John's? And she says, wait, isn't

that the medical school? And then he's like, Oh, well, it's St. John's and she says, wait, isn't that the medical school? And then he's like, oh, well, it's a medical school and it's a hospital. Everyone's just kind of like, oh my God, this guy. And then she continues to dig and she's like, okay, where'd you do your undergraduate studies? And he said, in Spain, okay, we're in Spain. The University of Barcelona, okay, what year did you graduate? 2003, okay, what year did you graduate? 2003. Okay, what year did you graduate medical school?

And then he couldn't remember, he was like, is either 2007 or 2008? And then we're like, okay, yeah, there's something's not adding up here. How can you not remember what year you graduated medical school, first of all? But then the next thing my lawyer points out is, well, on the website, it says,

you didn't serve in the military. Is that true? And he on the website says you didn't serve in the military Is that true? And he's like oh no, I served in the military And then she asked them okay what years did you serve in the military? And he's like oh from 2005 to 2007 and so my lawyers like well wait How did you manage to get your bachelor's degree go to the military and then serve two or three years there and then get your bachelor's degree, go to the military, and then serve two or three years there, and then go to medical school and finish that in like a year.

And then the judge stops that part of the conversation. She's like, okay, this is irrelevant, but everyone in the room knows that he's lying here. And looking back at the restraining order that Tammy had filed against him and the court transcript there, he told a different story. And that court transcript, he claimed that he was born in England

and that his father was part of the Irish mafia or something. And so his family had sent him to Mexico to stay with family there to protect him from his crazy Irish mafia dad who was trying to come after him or get him. But anyways, nothing added up there in that story and the story he told in our hearing was completely different. It's obvious to everyone that he's lying. I can see the court reporter there rolling her eyes, the bailiff is rolling his eyes. During one of the breaks he pulls me aside and he's like, yeah, me and my partner, we've seen this guy and hear so many times. He was coming in with a British accent before. He doesn't have a British accent now. He's trying to say he made something like $30,000 a day

or some crazy shit like that and they knew he was full of shit. I'm like, yeah, you know, you need to go and make sure the judge knows this because she's saying them in there multiple times too. I don't know how you can cut just come in here and waste everyone's time like this and just lie to the judge and suffer no consequences. So anyways, we get to the end of the hearing. Me and my lawyer are feeling really good about this. I thought she did a really good job presented a really strong case against Arty, and then the judge comes to her ruling, and first of all, she denies his restraining order against me saying she doesn't find any credibility to his claims that I've harassed him or done anything to threaten him. By then, she turns around and makes a ruling on my restraining order, and she denies my restraining order also.

When we asked for an explanation, she basically says that she wasn't sure if my testimony was 100% credible. She felt like I had left out some context and some of the text messages I had attached, which wasn't true, by the way. The way I had organized my evidence, I'd chopped it up and organized it by date to make it more readable. And she said she had wanted to see a full end-to-end transcript of all the text messages already had ever sent me unedited so that she could get the full picture. You know, and I didn't know that, I would have gladly given that to her if I had known it.

And the other thing she said was that Darcy had testified on my behalf during the hearing saying that Arty had made multiple threats to get me fired from my job. He had made multiple threats to have me murdered. He had made threats to kill her, murder her children, so on and so forth. But she didn't find Darcy's testimony credible at all because of the fact that Arty has a restraining order against her, but also in and out of this relationship and I'll never understand why. I mean, it seems like, I don't know what you have to do to be able to get a restraining order, but it seems like something really bad has to happen. Someone has to get seriously hurt or killed before a restraining order is granted. And I don't know how already managed to get a restraining order against Darcy. I mean, I think it was the fact that he convinced her that there was no hearing and he showed up by himself and Darcy didn't have a

chance to defend herself. And it was extremely alarming to me for to tell me that this guy is able to break into my house and I can't stop him, I can't control it because what if my kid through there that night he had broken and then strangled her. What if he had killed her while my kids were there? What would he have done next? I mean, I'm sure he would have gone after my kids next. I had to have a couple very serious conversations with Darcy about this and I talked to her family too, where I'm like, I think I need to file for full custody of the kids because I just don't trust that they're safe with her anymore. I don't trust that she's able to make decisions to protect them. In every situation like this, she just shrugs her shoulders and says, well, I can't stop

them. I don't have any control. And as a parent, that's a really scary thing, right? I don't know anybody who would say that and just kind of admit that they can't stop someone from coming in and hurting them or potentially hurting their own children. That March, Darcy and Kenji went to a mediation hearing to reach a co-parenting agreement. During the meeting, both parties agreed

that Arty would not be allowed around their children. I agreed not to fight for full physical custody because she promised that Arty wouldn't be around the kids at all. I believe she's kept the kids away from Arty. And there've been multiple incidents the past few weeks where the kids have confided in me that they're scared for their mom. They don't like Arty, they don't trust him.

They're afraid he's going to do something to their mom, which is just really sad for me to hear. They're only six and eight. And that's a tough thing for a six year old or eight year old to process to have to worry about their mom's safety when they're not with her. And my son, especially he feels like he's only eight, but he feels like he's her protector, he's her bodyguard, so he feels like he needs to be with his mom all the time so that he could protect her in case Ardy comes around. And I have a major anxiety anytime I see her name pop up on my phone, and anytime she texts me or calls me, I'm like, oh great, you you know I'm just afraid to answer because I'm afraid to know what she's gonna have to

say. Did something happen or my kids say that's always in the back of my mind when my kids are with her. I do feel like she's this toxic piece of my life that I have to kind of just manage and deal with now. She's very manipulative, she's like already in some ways where she likes to play the victim and turn things around and paint me as the bad guy. It's just no fun to deal with someone like that. She doesn't have to be nice to me, but I just want her to get better. Just so our kids can have the mom they used to have because she was honestly, she was a really good mom to them when they were younger. A really good mom. And my kids had a great time with her,

but the past year, year and a half, I mean, I can't imagine, I don't know what life is like when my kids are with her, behind closed doors, but I can't imagine it's any fun. Darcy definitely is abusive in her own way. As this evolved, when this was happening to me and as I would tell my friends and other people about the story, pretty much everyone was like, in shock and disbelief. This sounds fake, right? Like you're making this up. Please tell me you're making this up.

And I'd be like, no, this is the truth. This is what happened. This is what's happening. Then I'd catch up with friends every few weeks and it's like a TV show for them. They would be like, oh, so what's the latest? What's happening this week? And I'd always have something to say.

And they were like, man, you really need to turn this into a TV show or movie or something. I asked Danielle if she's been able to cut complete contact with Arty. No, I wish that was the last contact. Contact is a loose term. He will email me or text me or send me some sort of note. He does it pretty much maybe every other week or so. I mean I can read you the last email who says let's say. The last message I got from last month was that we have a new

court date for custody. I got you served since you like to lie and make inclinations that I'm not doing anything to see my daughter. Please also stop saying I don't care about her for not sending her gifts for her birthday or Christmas. You would have lied about whom they are from or thrown them away. Instead, you're the evil and considerate psycho that decides to harm our daughter and keep her father away because you're pissed off you got cheated on. Get over it.

I'm not sorry I cheated on you, but our relationship issue shouldn't impact our daughters, but your lack of mental understanding doesn't allow you to be an adult. Can't wait to see you in court to put a stop to your psychotic antics that are harming my child. You will be getting us a pena for a full disclosure of all your records and I'm taking it a court for all my stuff you neglected to return. They're pretty much all different versions of this message.

This was around like three weeks ago, which leads me to a crazy development that happened yesterday. I literally looked up if Mercury was in retrograde. I was like, what is happening right now? So I get this note, I'm never on Facebook. By the way, Instagram all day long. Facebook, not my jam. I do have a lot of things to do.

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do note, I'm never on Facebook, by the way, Instagram all day long. I spoke not my jam. I do have a Facebook page and I go on it every so often, but I happen to go on there and I was looking for something. I don't even know what it was. All I know is that I see this message, then I open it up and it says,

hello, this may sound extremely strange, but here it goes. My daughter's biological dad went by the name, Party. We have no contact with him. She was asking questions about him, so I googled his name to hopefully find a recent picture to show her. When I did, I came across a website that mentioned that he had other children. Also mentioned was a court case involving him in someone with your name. I was wondering if this could be you and if you also have a daughter with him. My daughter has expressed interest in meeting her siblings if she has any.

If this is not you, I apologize for the inconvenience and complicated story. If it is you, I would love to speak with you. I respond and I'm like, please call me. And then I added her as a friend, and she accepted the friend request, and I'm still waiting for her call. So an hour later, I saw that she had posted, and I was like, messager, I'm like, you found the right person. Is there any way we can talk tonight? She's like, yes, let me put my kids down to sleep, and I'll give you a call. The longest hour of my life

it was so long. It was such a weird thing because obviously I just wanted to balance on her and be like looking at everything I could tell from the pictures and the dates that her child was about 12 years old. I didn't know that this happened before I was in the picture, but I had a million questions. Did already give her the same story that he's given everybody else. I'm also trying to figure out this timeline of when he became already full-time. She actually helped connect some dots for me. She did tell me that she had dated him for a couple of years and that she became pregnant. And he wanted her to have an abortion because he was not ready to be a dad. And she said, I don't think I'm going to do that. I'm

going to raise this child on my own. That's totally cool. I get it if you don't want to be involved. She said that she actually knew him as his real name. She had met him through friends. So she'd known him as a friend first before they started dating. But at the time, she also knew that he had occasionally gone by a nickname of Arty. He wasn't being called at full time back then, but it definitely popped up as a name. She did say that he liked to joke around and talk in a British accent at times, just for fun, but he wasn't full on using it at that time. I said, did you meet his family? She said yes. She met his father and a stepmother and his four siblings.

He has had a rocky relationship with his father. She said the mother moved away to a different state when he was young. He had told her that he had always been like close to his mom. So the reason he didn't have a good relationship with his dad is because he didn't like how his dad treated his mom. She did say take everything with the grain of salt because obviously we know we can't really trust anything. It comes out of his mouth. They know about her daughter,

but they're not really involved in her life either. I asked, did she know that he was married the first time and she said she knew about the first marriage. I mean, he had lied to me about it, but she knew about the first marriage. I had told her that he had said to me it was a childhood friend of his that had died when she was 16. Stacey was like, yeah, oh, he did say that to me too, but I think when it ended up happening is like, he later admitted to me it was actually the first wife's name, the nickname of

the first wife. Again, really like who knows, he could have been lying to her again, you know, for all we know. The other thing she told me was she said that my daughter's name, that he had tried to get her to name her daughter, that exact same name. She was born with his fake last name and I luckily was able to change that. So I don't have any regrets about naming her that, but it was an interesting tidbit and ultimately, Stacey made me feel really great in the sense that she connected a lot of dots for me. I do know they parted ways in 2009. So just two years before he met me somewhere between 2009 and 2011, he fully moved into the R.D. identity. She thinks that because he was kind of a strange for his family. It was an easy transition for him. She also said that while he was controlling and verbally abusive, when they were dating,

it wasn't to the level that I described to her about the abduction and the gun violence and everything. She did say it sounds like he's gotten worse. He's escalated. Our daughters are going to meet in a couple of weeks. So I'm actually really looking forward to this. I hope that the girls do get along that they do form a bond. I would love just like in my email to Tammy. I would love for something good to come out of this. I'm good at one child. I'm like turning 41 this year.

That door is closed for me, so the fact that my daughter does get a sibling and that Stacy is so incredible and also wanting to allow this is something that I hope blooms into something really meaningful for both of our daughters and healing for them. I hope that they see that even though they don't have contact with their father, that they both have something really meaningful and good in spite of that. And who knows, it would really not surprise me if I got another message like this later on. At this point, we don't really know. But I will say this, it reminded me that when we were first dating, I remember him being 26 and I

was 31 when we met. And one of the things he talked about was wanting to have kids and wanting to have kids before he was 30. And when she was born, the following following year he turned 30 and he's like, oh great, I did it. I had kids by the time I was 30, but really he had, at this time, a six-year-old already. I call Kenji my liberator, but he's definitely been a big rock. And maybe that's part of why the healing process has been a little easier for me because I have had somebody who understands that I can go to. I try to limit what I tell my girlfriends because I don't want to overwhelm anybody.

It's like, oh, this again. But with Kenji, we can call each other for every little thing. No matter how many times a day or week, it happens and neither of us are gonna be like, oh, this again, because it's something that's prevalent and relevant for both of us. So I do think that that's been a huge source of my healing and being able to move on so quickly

is being able to talk through that with somebody. And I have a therapist too. She's been like a rock for me through this whole situation as of July when I had gotten contact with her. Because like I mentioned before, I would talk to my friends about this and stuff and they'd be like, wow, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I hope things get better, but fortunately none of them had ever been through anything like this, so they couldn't really relate. So being able to have someone like Daniel and my corner who had been involved with Arty, but kind of on the opposite side, and kind of been through all these horrible things with Arty, we had that kind of natural bond and she's listened to me event so many times, frustrations, anger, she's been there to listen and support me and it's just really good to have a friend like that who can relate. And it's just kind of, I don't know, it's kind of weird that we met under these circumstances, but it's also been really good too.

So it just feels really good. I'm glad that I was able to help her, help her family, help her get out of that nightmare she was trapped in. And yeah, I'm very grateful to have her in my life. I remember I listened to some of your seasons and other podcasts and other TV shows like Dirty John and watching those and I'm just like, wow, I've lived those. So I think part of it is sharing this story is cathartic for me in a way. It's helping me kind of finally put this in a box and shut the door on it and be done with it. I think the other part too is just if in some way this can help other people like I felt really good that I was able to help Daniel get out of the situation with Arty. My only regret was that I had contacted her sooner and gotten her out sooner but I didn't

because I was scared. I didn't know who Arty was back then. I didn't know what he was capable of. I feel like if the story can help somebody in some way or maybe there's someone else out there like me who's going through something similar and they have no one to talk to, no one that they can relate to, maybe this story will give them a little piece of comfort. I feel like keeping this all bottled up inside isn't the right thing to do. I don't think anyone else should be victimized by this guy or anyone like him and hopefully this story can help some people recognize, hey, you know, like I just met this guy online on this dating app. He's claiming to be this or that, something doesn't add up, something doesn't feel right. Hopefully, the story is like this, you can help people maybe step back and take a second look at the situation and hopefully prevent them from getting into a situation like Darcy got into or like Danielle got into.

There's always in the back of my mind that possibility that he could take that finally crossover into dirty John territory and come after me or somebody else. If his verbal abuse has been escalating, I think his physical abuse escalates too. And I think that his physical abuse of others will continue to escalate until it becomes something that lands him in jail. That's my honest belief.

So all I do is wake up every day. Just profoundly grateful that I have a strong support system, job that I love, and an amazing, healthy girl that I adore. I think I tell her every single night that she's my favorite person on the planet, and that I have my freedom. I'm on the success story as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, Danielle and Kenji continue to endure Artie's abuse and harassment. Danielle is currently working on writing a book about her experience and is back on the dating scene. Kenji is excited for trips he has planned with his kids

and they both continue to work with therapists to help them process their traumatic experiences. Thank you so much, Danielle and Kenji, for sharing your story with us this season. If you or someone you know is being abused, the National Domestic Violence Hotline Advocates are available 24-7-365 to talk through any fears, frustrations, doubts, or concerns you might have around your relationship. Call them today at 1-800-799-7233 or chat at thehotline.org. Thank you so much for listening, and until next time, stay safe friends. Something was wrong is an audio-chot original.

Thank you so much to our team. Executive producer Ashley Flowers. Coordinating producer Mike McDonald. Mixing and mastering by Kyle O'Connor. Created, reported, and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. Our theme song was originally composed by Gladracks, covered this season by Midwest originals. I'm thinking only you don't know I'm thinking only you don't know I'm thinking only you don't know

You don't know I'm thinking only you don't know me well You know, you know I take my time every day I go home on my own, I should say, say, say, Call me a bomb, I'll tell them, On our behalf, I hang a bomb, I know that it's not a bomb. I'm going to do it. You think you know me, you don't know me well You think you know me, you don't know me well at all

You think you know me, you don't know me well at all It up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up, it up You can listen to something was wrong early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.