Son of a Boy Dad - Jelq Boys | Son of a Boy Dad #238
Episode Date: October 1, 2024Jelq Boys | Son of a Boy Dad #238 -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/so...nofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad
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Hey son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Oh shit.
The missiles?
What are they sending them on horseback?
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Alright, ready?
Haha.
What a week.
How are those things supposed to go across the world in 30 minutes.
Are they on DHL trucks?
Are they coming to the well through barter patrol?
I think it takes less than a week to walk from Iran to Israel.
Alright, ready?
Yeah.
Alrighty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast.
Today it is October 1st.
Fall is here.
We are live from HQ Trace.
Where's the fucking time go?
Where's the fucking time go?
Just yesterday I was a fetus.
Exactly.
Now it's fucking, now it's October and I can legally drink by porno.
I'm excited to be back with you guys.
It's been a long time.
I don't know why, I don't understand what you just said.
That I grew up fast?
Oh.
Nah, still not getting it. You said you could legally
drink, buy porno? I can legally drink and buy porno. Oh, I was a fetus and now I can do
vice things legally. I see, I see. Very nice. We'll get the fucking ball
rolling. Maybe we'll just cut this part of it. I'm happy to be back with you guys
too. Frances and I just got back from a long
week in Chicago. We did. Yeah. Very nice long week in Chicago. Very long. It was
crazy how long you guys were there. You guys got back last night. We did say that we
appreciated you holding down the pod while we were away. Yeah that's kind of
my thing. Making magic. Any funny jokes while we were gone? No, not really. I mean
I only did one episode without you guys with Gardini. But what about the one with
Nick and KB in Fiddleberg? Oh yeah we did that one too, I totally forgot.
I felt like that was a month ago. That was an instant classic. Yeah. That
broke the internet. Yeah it is so funny it was just like a normal episode and
then people are like this, I mean Dave needs to pay a hundred million dollars to keep these guys together
I was like I thought it was just like a it was a fine podcast
They're like thank God those late 30s guys got out of there so some other late 30s guys
So we could swap late 30s guys.
It was a good episode.
It was crazy.
That was the last time when we recorded that.
It was right after the Jets beat the Patriots and that was when we were like, the Patriots
had a bad game but they're still going to be good.
And then this week it was just, they're the worst team in the NFL.
You need to scrape your Patriots tattoo off your back.
I know.
Forcibly.
I was literally looking in the mirror this morning and I was wearing all my Patriots
gear and I was thinking, this doesn't even feel good.
Feels gross.
The Patriots logo is kind of stupid as fuck.
I think it's pretty sick.
What is it?
Is it supposed to be a guy in like a tricorn
hat or what? What is it? Or it's just like a face. It's just like a Mount Rushmore face
morphed into a flag. I would think it would be a soldier from the Revolutionary War. He
has a Revolutionary War jawline and cheekbone. I think it's a, you know, what was the Union Army?
No, that's the Civil War, it wasn't the Union.
It looks weirdly Native American.
Yeah, it does.
There's like a kind of Native American hue to it.
He has this nice Native American cheekbone
and fucking the headdress.
The headdress is a little bit Native American.
I think it's just a dude with some sick ass hair.
Dreads, it's a white dude with dreads
And he's like riding on a city bike one of the silver ones he's riding on one of the fast ones
That's why his hair is all blowing in the wind shaking his white guy dreads out in the wind
It doesn't make any fucking sense of all the logos that have gotten redone. Why not redo that one?
We'll go back to the dude. There's no need to redo greatness, brother. It's already a finished product.
They're literally sinking the brand right now.
How shitty they're playing.
I mean, I don't know.
The Eagles are probably worse than the Patriots.
No shit.
The Eagles suck.
I will go back to the old Eagles logo.
No problem.
Baker Mayfield owns you.
I don't have any problem going hand up.
We suck right now.
And I think you being defensive about yourself sucking.
I just said that we were the worst team maybe ever in the NFL.
Yeah, but I mean you got to change the logo. I feel like that's what it comes down to.
Somehow the Panthers are like a Super Bowl contender all of a sudden.
It doesn't make a lick of sense. Doesn't make one iota of sense.
It's nice to talk ball though.
It is nice to talk ball, but I'll be honest. The ball is, is not,
it's not really scratching the itch for me right now.
Did I beat you in fantasy? Yeah. No. No you didn't. I was smoking you then you came back then I came
back. You guys both had very low scores. Shut up. I didn't win I had like an 80 chance to win.
You fumbled it on Monday. Oh super close. Yeah. Wait wait what if it what if the show what if
this show was called Talking Ball with the Fellas,
but instead of fellas, it's pronounced,
it's spelled F-E-L-L-I-S.
Talking Ball with Fellas.
Well that only gives me one,
I'm the only one.
Well it kinda just is like, you're the side guy.
You're the side guy.
You're not on the-
With the fellas.
Brother, you're not on the logo.
With the fellas.
Yeah, but then again, that makes it seem as if
I am the host of the show.
No, you're the guest. We're Talking ball. We're talking ball. The fellas. With
fellas. Fellas. We need something to denote that you two are part of the show.
Well no, they know we're a part of the show because of the massive logo with
our names on it. What about getting sassy about ball? A league of our own. A sassy about ball a league of our own
Sassy league of our own a damn
sassy ball Conversation with the fellas with the fellas. Yeah, that's not really doing it for me
You just like talking ball with the fellas. I like talking ball with the folks does do it for you. I don't know man. I
Don't really know anymore black ops 6 when it comes out. Hopefully I
Haven't playing video games at all
So what'd you do all week while we were gone?
Well, I was decided to go home for the for a wedding which also multiple people who asked me including the groom He was like, why did you say that there was an Indian wedding?
And I was like, I don't really know to be honest. I was like ron just said that and I just went along with it
I was like, I don't really know to be honest. I was like, Rhone just said that and I just went along with it. I was like, I don't really know why. The groom listens?
Yeah, like my mom asked, like everyone was asking me,
like, why did you guys call it an Indian wedding?
They all listen?
I genuinely don't know.
No, I think one person listened and then just passed it on.
You're never gonna guess what they,
what Saas said about this wedding.
He called you an Indian.
But I didn't understand,
oh Rhone, do you even remember why you called an Indian wedding because it's
like eight days oh yes yes yes because a week long yeah because you said that
they were gonna be serving heaps of butter chicken that you would eat by
balling it up with your fingers did I say that I remember you saying that
there be Rogan Josh galore that you'd have all the lossy the mango lassi's that you could drink yeah
I don't know I couldn't for the life of me I could I just kept on being like I
really don't know that's so respectful that your family listens to it my think
any all of my family gave this a try this podcast a try and they're like
you're an embarrassment well my sister everyone I know who has found out that I
don't even actually tell people that I have a podcast
anymore.
People that I know.
Really?
Yeah, because people I know give it a listen and they say, you know, they just come to
me and say, listen, I tried it and it just, I'm sorry, but it wasn't for me.
And I got tired of hearing that.
So now I just keep it a secret.
It's crazy because everybody will be like associating it. They'll be like, oh your podcast with Pat Bev, but this podcast does better than that. Oh, yeah
Well, this is the future the future in the present. I was thinking about that in the shower this morning
Do you think this podcast is at its peak yet? Oh god. No, you don't think so not until you hit like a I was not
I think of what the downfall will be
Well when it's like when it's like we're getting like 5,000 listeners and we're like should we end
it is it time but then I was like I don't think that's gonna happen as long
as we all work at barstool that it won't blow up in our face yeah yeah I
agree unless one of you guys does something really fucked up well I don't
think not I think the pendulum swung I'll do that no the pendulum has swung yeah dudes can't do anything fucked up anyone I, I don't think. Not me. I think the pendulum swung. I'll do that. No, the pendulum has swung.
Yeah.
Dudes can't do anything fucked up anymore.
I know. That's true.
The only thing fucked up you can do is comment
something negative on Brianna Chicken Fries TikTok.
Is that in the time?
In which case, she'll come and get your ass.
Oh, did she do that?
Yeah.
Does she really do that?
I think she's come and got a couple of people
who said nasty things to her.
She flipped the paradigm.
People that work here?
No. Randoms.
Oh shit. I fuck with that though.
Yeah. I wish I could do that.
That's what I mean. You should be able to do that.
Yeah. But that's the only thing that we could do that could get us actually canceled.
Hmm. Get us fired from our job as if we said something nasty.
I could do it. I could do it another way. I'm trying I'm thinking I could find a way thinking of two big ones right now and
And now I didn't even think of the M word that's in the third you were thinking no I was thinking a murder
Like that probably be a axe axe axe of the Apostles
true what uh
Wait really quick speaking of the pap f pod so ronan and I flew home from Chicago together. Wait, really quick. Speaking of the Pat Bef pod, so Ron and I flew home from Chicago together.
Yeah.
And that O'Hare airport is, it's like, I would imagine what it was like to come to Ellis
Island as an immigrant during the wave of immigration.
Everyone talks about O'Hare, but I don't, O'Hare has never really bothered me.
It's not great.
First of all, the traffic out there, it's just impossible. The traffic out there bothered me. It's not great. First of all the traffic out there It's just impossible the traffic out there is insane trip to JFK every time every but not even just going to the airport
Just going anywhere. They also had me change my name when I got there. They said I sounded too ethnic
They did and then they made you lift your tongue to check for weevils
And black spots right and I swore there were no weevils, but they still detained me.
Yeah.
Fucking bastards.
They took a pair of chopsticks
and squeezed your tongue and lifted it.
I'm so embarrassed,
because Francis was kicking my ass.
Wait, but before we get to that,
you're forgetting the good start you had,
which is that we were in the fucking clear TSA pre-check line,
which was pretty fucking long,
and a clear agent saw Rhone, there's a whole line, and was pretty fucking long, and a clear agent saw Rhone.
There's a whole line and he goes, all right, we'll have you start a second line right
here. And he brought Rhone and I was just in Rhone's back pocket.
So I trundled along after him, brought him right up to the front and started a new
line and then turned to him and was like, I'm a big fan.
Damn, that's sick. He was like, I'm a big fan. Damn, that's sick.
And the guy was African American.
Oh wow.
He was like, I rap, he was like,
I'm D-Boy to Block Boy.
Damn.
Shit like that.
And then Ronan code switched right into Black Voice.
Yeah, yeah.
Like that.
And was immediately like,
oh, I know D-Boy to Block Boy.
That's my favorite name.
And they talked about Battle Rap
and then the guy revealed that he's a huge
fan of the Pat Bev pod.
Ah, what about some of them?
And then Ron was like, I'm quitting that pod because he went to Israel and I don't like
the Jews.
So I was like, dude, let's get through this line before you let them know.
And then the people to our left got angry.
Oh, I'm sure.
Because the guy was like, the woman was like, husband was in the the non-clear TSA line
And he's already beaten me. Yeah, that was much longer. They said there was 50 people longer
She's flipping out of this she was like what's going on here?
And the guy was like don't worry you'll get through issues like he was like spit some bars
Let's see if you can get through it. Yeah, then he was like are you but 16 and then she was like well
I'm going next right and he was like no no we're gonna go them and then you, meaning us.
And she goes, why?
And this guy's like, I don't make the rules.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he did make the rules.
He does, he does make the rules.
He just, as a fan of Roan,
ushered him to the front and invented a whole new line.
Yeah, it was incredible.
And so we went through, which was pretty cool.
And then things started going poorly for Roan. Well he had I mean that was my one he challenged you
Francis has had Jesus whipped my ass travel wise in just the smallest ways
There's it was like probably like going against Tom Brady or something like that. It's like you play quarterback. I play quarterback
He was just playing more efficiently. You should see me then way less if I make Francis
Look like it's for his first time at the airport
You should see me then. Way less efficient.
Because I make Francis look like it's for his first time
at the airport.
No.
I fucking fly by him.
Take that back.
Fly by him.
Take that back.
You're like Bryce Young compared to Tom Brady.
You know when you get to the airport
and they have all the different lines?
I wait and I study the lines for like five to 10 minutes.
Jeez, that's funny because all I really
remember about traveling with you
is walking 100 miles to the wrong gate
and then having to sprint through the airport.
I go, which line is my line?
And then I stick to my line.
And I usually, it's Sky Priority is honestly,
that's my line.
You might actually be the worst traveler
I've ever traveled with.
I remember when we were in LaGuardia
and we flew, we came straight from here
and you went to clear and I went to Sky Priority
and I had to like set up, I had to like set my backpack on the
Side of like a pillar and like use it as a pillow because I was getting tired of standing for so long waiting
That you got through beforehand almost no chance swear to God man moves with a seal team six like I get him for you
You did but that was luck no and it was nowhere near enough to undo
How bad your fumble was leading us to the wrong gate the time that we had to then sprint that was
like years ago I
Don't feel like we probably talked about it like what 40 episodes ago on it was probably like three months ago. Yeah
He I did I tried to self tag my bag
Francis got through faster with that one when we got to the airplane
He had I guess checked a different box. I checked in before him, booked before him,
but he got the upgrade to Delta Comfort Plus.
I was sitting in the middle row, steerage, nasty work.
And then coming off the plane.
I thought you guys both got booked on first class
for barstool stuff.
We usually do.
We were just like, take it in.
Last fight out of town.
Damn.
Last fight out of town.
It was nasty work.
Coach, middle seat?
I had to fight, I had to get into,
I haven't fought for the armrests in years
I was dusting off the war manual
dude, I said like I sat coach on the way to Matt flew to back home to Boston and I sat coach and
and
I sat down and I was in the window seat and there was no one in my row. And I was like, dude, coach is honestly like
just as good as first class.
And I was like, this is great.
And then as the doors are about to close,
a mom and four kids come and sit down next to me.
They can't, she falls asleep immediately.
All of a sudden I'm taking care of the children.
Like that, I'm like trying like closing my eyes
These kids are like walking across my chest
Like to the other kid and the flight attendants coming up to me being like can you grab her and put her but like the whole
Flight just burping a baby. Yes
The mom is just completely asleep
Breastfeeding a fucking young child brutal. They don't get that inutal. You don't get that in first class.
They don't allow kids in first class.
I don't know if that can't be true.
Is that true?
Yeah.
It's not true.
You got to be over 18.
It should be true.
I do think that genuinely, if you have a child that is prone to
wailing for a lot of the flight, then you should not be allowed
to sit in first class.
You should have to subject that. You should subject more people to that.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just something you expect in
coach. You don't get as mad about it in coach. You do get mad about it in first class. First
class is a sanctuary. It's a safe space.
It is. Yeah. Us going into like Delta SkyMile talk is just us being away for a week and just being like,
okay, let's get the fundamentals down on the playbook.
Yeah.
Let's hit just like fucking some bunts, some fucking line drives.
Exactly.
Let's just make sure that the fucking, the bat's still working.
The bat is still working.
I was, this is so insane.
On the flight home, I was just like, I don't know.
My headphones had died, so I couldn't listen to music. I couldn't watch a movie.
So I just started looking at old photos. Oh, that's the go-to.
On my phone, and I went and looked at my old wedding photos.
Oh, wow. I was so sad.
And I was just like, so sad.
What the hell?
Almost like on the verge of tears
when the guy to my right tapped me on the shoulder
and was like, just had to tell you,
I listened to every episode of Oops.
And was like, you got me through COVID.
And he's been watching me look at,
like so he knows everything about my personal life
and he's seeing me look at old wedding photos.
That is so brutal.
That is insane.
What?
No.
And you know how on an airplane,
you feel your emotions like three to four times more?
So he was almost like comforting me.
Yeah, he definitely was.
And he was almost like, me. Yeah, he definitely was and he was almost like it looks like a lovely day
He's dude. He's watching a podcaster that he likes that. He knows just got divorced go through his old wedding albums
He was probably like what the fuck is happening right now. I'd rather walk in on someone jerking. Yeah, that is brutal
That's brutal. That's so nasty
That is brutal. That's brutal.
That's so nasty.
Imagine being next to Tom Segura on the phone
or on the plane as he's doing the same thing.
I can't imagine seeing a podcaster.
I love doing that.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yep, it was sad.
It also made me realize, you know,
everyone's always watching.
Yeah, you need to get that screen protector
where you can't see it to the left and right.
Yeah, true.
So when you're being sad, you're being sad.
You're looking at pictures of your wedding in privacy.
You need a safe space.
That's why you need first class.
So you have enough of a buffer zone
to be sad on your own on the plane.
What a beautiful day though.
Is there any part of it you want to relive?
Any great parts of it?
What were the food options?
My wedding?
Yeah.
No, I don't wanna, we're okay now.
All right, all right.
Find me on a plane, I'll show you the whole album.
Dude, you do get more emotional on planes.
I cried watching Good Will Hunting and it was like the 30th time I'd seen it.
When I never once cried and I was like literally wiping tears off my eyes watching it.
Which part?
The whole movie.
Like front to back, just crying. Like a lunatic crying like a loon and shit out of
the kid at the playground and no yeah I was like he didn't deserve that no I
don't remember what I just car right scar pack I think that's the only time I've
ever cried watching a movie I'm not really a big crier I don't know if you
guys yeah I watching the beekeeper on the way out really yeah I was like fuck it
stay though fucking piece you should have
just gone with the power move is when your headphones die some people just
play they'll just watch something on their phone and they'll just play it out
loud you're talking about been on a plane yeah black people love doing that
you're specifically talking about black people plane lands they're on speakerphone
immediately screaming it's such a sick move it's such a sick move. It's such a powerful move. Or like walking through the
mall with like a speaker. Yeah. And like an American flag outfit or something. Yeah. We
had the rehearsal dinner on Friday and my grandma got a call from one of her friends
and she was on, they didn't know they were on FaceTime. Well they were probably in like
New Delhi time. They were both just talking on the phone and it was just the camera just right up against
their cheeks talking.
Neither of them knew they were on FaceTime.
That's so funny.
Good shit.
Older people, older people don't know as much about technology.
No.
Fools.
I've been watching Silicon Valley. Classic show.
Pretty good.
Very good.
Pretty good.
Really good.
It's really well written.
It's pretty I don't it's not like I'm not like Hooten and Holleran, but
there's some parts that make the plot is actually really good.
Oh, yeah, it's brilliant.
And you'll kind of go like, huh?
Yeah, a couple of those.
No, I had some really laugh hard moments.
I'd say there's like there's like usually like two jokes an episode where I laugh.
But it's not like always Sonny or like workaholics where you're just howling the whole time.
I just watched the most recent season of Sonny.
It was really only one episode that made me laugh really hard.
Really the first one, the first one where they open up Frank's or when they open up
Charlie's door and they found out he has another room. Yeah, that might have been the hardest I've ever laughed at that one. The first one where they open up Frank's, or when they open up Charlie's door and they found out he has another room.
Yeah.
That might've been the hardest I've ever laughed
at the show. That one,
and then all the inflatable stuff.
The inflatable stuff.
Yeah.
You didn't think like the Tesla episode was funny?
Oh, maybe I haven't seen that one yet.
That's the last episode.
Oh, then I haven't seen that one.
Oh yeah, I feel like you would like that one.
Okay, I'll watch that one.
It's like all the technology goes wrong
and Dennis is trying to have a good day off.
Don't give, I'm gonna watch it.
That was, I wasn't really exposing much.
I just feel like you would enjoy that episode.
What do you ever know with you?
That episode's also good because they talk about it
on the podcast.
Like, they talk about, he tells the story, like, months
before it comes out.
Oh, cool.
And then they ended up making it into an episode.
That's fun.
You think if we played, like, the newlyweds game,
you'd be able to, like, know all the information about Sass?
You know what I mean? Like, favorite TV show or favorite food or, like, drink vacation fun. you'd be able to like know all the information about Sass.
You know what I mean?
Like favorite TV show or favorite food or like
drink vacation stuff. Yeah, I do
because I just think that there's so little
you have to memorize about him.
I don't agree.
You think you're an onion?
You think you're multifaceted?
Yes.
I think we gotta play the newlywed game
but you can't try and fuck him up though. I will. I'll I think we got to play the newlywed game, but you can't try and fuck him up, though.
I will.
I'll ruin it.
You cannot ruin the newlywed game.
I'm going to ruin it on purpose.
This will be a chance to see if Francis
is as close with you as I think he is.
I think you read like a book.
I think you guys think you're close with me,
and then I go home and I just do whatever the fuck I do.
I know I'm not close with you.
You guys don't know what I'm doing when I go did. You know what I did the other day what for us
I went and tried to reserve some time at the batting cages
Why did you do that? I think it'd be important for us
Trying to please don't do that trying to spend more time with you and you know no interesting going to the batting cages
We went one time when when Chicago you guys did no didn't you come with us I didn't go to any
batting cages I think it's time for you to go to batting cages I get asked to
go to the batting cages all the time for softball I think we're gonna go to the
batting cages get your swing right my swing is perfect how many hits you have
this season in softball I don't know know, but I have like 15 RBIs. Really? Yeah.
Dingers?
Yeah.
Bombs.
You have not hit a single dinger.
Bombs.
I'm like a strategy guy.
Like a billy beam would look at me
and be like, well, he doesn't hit the ball far.
He doesn't hit hard, but he gets on base.
Dingers.
No, just gets on base.
That's all we want.
Yeah, I respect that.
But I think that you could turn those singles into dingers.
That's like the evolution of a player
That's how you know, he's ready from double-a to them to the majors if I promise not to get to
sort of
directorial and
To in the weeds on you. Will you let me coach you at the batting cages?
No, why not? Cuz I don't want to do that. I
Bought you a glove. I have a glove. Good glove to
raw. I have a new one for you. Wow. That's the last thing any
ballplayer wants is a new glove. The newest technology. It's
already it's one of the pre broken in ones. Yeah, one set
mine's broken into my exact. I thought it would be important
for me to hand it down to you. Now I'm okay. How did you break
it in oil Oil or mattress?
Or both? Combination?
I put it under my couch, but that didn't really do anything.
I put mine under the car tire.
Yeah.
All in it. And then rubber bands and baby oil.
They say that the oil is actually bad for the glove.
It just makes it wear and tear way faster.
I don't know. I don't know this.
What you're really supposed to do is get a mallet and just like smash it in
like that
The center of it or smash it flat like you're not only a chicken. It's like you're supposed to smash it
Like where you'd be catching the ball
Interesting with your hand in it. Yeah
Interesting, bro. I always fucking sucked at baseball. I've always been fucking terrible at baseball.
So hard sport.
I got smoked in the head by a pitch in Little League and it definitely knocked me unconscious
but I got like so nervous that I was like that other people were going to be like worried
about me that I pretended I wasn't knocked unconscious.
I was like, oh, I'm fine.
I popped back or I like tried to like. That happened to me. No, I'm good. I was like, oh I'm fine. I popped back or I like tried to like...
That happened to me. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. That happened to me when I was younger and I played
soccer and I tried to do it. A ball went like a hundred feet up into the air and I tried to
hit it with my head and it just hit me straight in the side of the face.
I went down like my mouth was bleeding. It was brutal. But then you just got to play it off and
be like, I meant to do that. I'm good. Yeah.
You're like crying, not even because you're crying, because
you're like noses swollen. Yeah, I'm good.
I remember it hurts so bad.
I remember playing football in we would go like play. In high
school, we would play like our side of the tracks versus their
side of the tracks football. And we had odd numbers so people had to sub in.
A kid got an interception,
I was the one subbed out for that one play
and I came off the field and I fucking speared the kid.
And the next week they brought back like
a bunch of like bad dudes.
And like coming down the field,
one of them just fucking suckered me in the face.
Fucking probably broke my nose.
And then just yesterday, I finally went to an ENT
to be like, hey, I can't breathe out of my nose.
And it's been like this for 20 years.
Is there anything you could do to help me?
I was like, how bad is it?
Or like one out of 10.
He's like, probably like a seven and a half out of 10.
Damn.
Bad. Really?
So it's broken?
It's just like deviated and everything's like
swollen inside of it.
That's crazy.
I did that, I had that same thing happen.
Yeah.
And I did the surgery.
Yeah, it was life changing?
It was life changing, but it was a nightmare.
Didn't you say that the surgery was like pretty risky?
Oh, I don't know.
I feel like we talked about the surgery a while.
I think most people, it depends on how fucked up
your nose is, but most people, it's not
that bad.
Mine was really bad because they had to break over everything.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like we talked about that a while ago.
Yeah.
Like I'll sleep for fucking a full night of sleep and I'll wake up like I didn't even
get it.
I had an ounce of rest.
Yeah, it's time to do the surgery, unfortunately.
Because of your nose?
Yeah, because I'm like, I'm not getting like full like breaths
in. Are you getting, are you mouth taping? I need to start mouth taping, but I might just die if I
mouth tape the amount of blockages in my nose. I'll mouth tape and just fucking wake up blue and
fucking cold. Imagine waking up next to someone in bed and they mouth taped and they died in their
sleep. They like suffocated. I was just imagining that when Rome made the joke. That would be so fucked.
Like imagine your wife having to like
rip the tape off your mouth.
I wake up after like.
Woo!
Like a mummy.
I was having a terrible dream.
I think I went out for a couple minutes there.
Just like waking up expecting to be next to my wife
and just like st.
Peter's reading off the ledger like what the fuck is this someone is going to die
from the mouth tape and it's gonna end up no one will mouth tape ever again
some people have the the nose opening breathe right strip technology is
getting crazy it's like magnets now he was like you try to you used to go a
night of like,
what is it, a nephrin something?
I don't know, some kind of nasal spray,
a night of the Breathe Right strip,
night of combination, and then,
they're probably just gonna give me the surgery regardless.
Damn.
It sucks.
But I'm looking forward to finally getting through with it.
Are you gonna bring your own off these?
It's three days of hell.
I already have some.
No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm self-medicated. What strength are yours? 20s? No, 80s. 80s. Oxy coffins. Popped a couple coffins before. Like the anesthesiologist coming and I just
swat him out of the way with my own guy's tank. I'm actually good.
I'm good.
Just like flicking a fucking syringe.
I'll get this one.
That would be so funny.
Bringing your own medication to a surgery.
I was thinking of a new show idea. You know the show love is blind I know that I've never watched it though
I was thinking of a new show idea
Well, so on love is blind. You don't know what anybody looks like and you're all just in a
To like incubators two little rooms to be meeting one another, two pods, and you wind up picking your love
based on their voice and their personality exclusively.
I think a spin-off, Love is Black.
Oh, hell yeah.
And it's just a group of white presenting black guys
and black presenting white guys
mixed with white presenting black women
and black presenting white women,
and nobody knows who's who.
Nobody knows the race.
Ooh, that's good.
Love is black.
Yep, yep.
Or I guess it could be love is white,
but blind black.
But black plays more.
Maybe love is blonde.
Yeah.
Love is blonde, it's a bunch of women
with different colored hair,
and you don't know which one is blonde. These are all good
spinoffs. On Love is Blind do they do the hug? I know I've seen a couple clips of like someone
that they like hit it off and then they like hug they're like can I hug you? Then they hug and
they're and it's like they're like this and they're like all right I'm good. Wait on different sides
of the wall? Like they hug each other and then they find out that the other person weighs like 700
pounds. They actually get to feel it?
Yeah.
I don't think that's love is blind.
I think you're thinking of my 600 pound life.
It's probably just some like TikTok dating show.
Yeah, it could be.
There's a dating show that keeps popping up
on my Instagram.
It's a live show in front of an audience.
Yes.
It's called Upd updating or something like that.
And they bring two people up and they blindfold them
and then they talk to each other and answer questions.
And then before they reveal their blindfolds,
they decide if they would wanna go out with each other.
Maybe the woman or man gets to choose between two options.
But they say some funny stuff.
I think it's put on by comedians.
Are you obligated to go on a date with that person after? Like if love is blind? Like
what if you like take your blindfold off and you're like, no.
Yeah, I think that they continue to film after you take the blindfold off with the expectation
that you're going to get married. And then it's just like a series of everybody just
breaking up until they get to the altar. Like seven couples will make it through. And then
by the time it's done, like one of them
will actually get married with always one person's leaving someone else at the altar.
It's like contractual.
What about Love is Blue and it's just like 20 members of the Blue Man group and they're
only communicating through like tings of a pipe.
They only communicate through catching marshmallows
in their mouths.
Yeah, they can catch a shit ton of marshmallows.
Have you ever seen, have you ever seen them live?
Yeah.
I saw them live when I was a kid and they,
he caught like, a guy caught like 20 marshmallows
in his mouth.
That's awesome.
It was so sick.
They used to do halftime shows at the Celtics games
I used to go to.
Yeah.
And you knew that for the games that they were there, that the Celtics had really splurged. Yeah. Yeah. And you knew that for the games that they were there,
that the Celtics had really splurged.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Show was about to go down.
Well, it was just better.
It was better than the other halftime shows.
They also had a guy, they would wheel out a trampoline
and they had these two guys.
And one of the guys would put on skis
and he would jump on the trampoline on skis.
And they would always say, okay, he's now gonna try for the world's first
triple, double, salt thing trick.
And he would do it and land it.
And it was like, and they would go nuts
and be like, that's the first time
this has ever been accomplished.
It's like, well, I have a 10 game package
and they were here three games ago.
And did it.
And did it.
Are you just assuming that everyone here is a new attendee?
Because mathematically.
Yeah.
People have season tickets.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's harmful.
Yeah, once you do the triple backflip live,
once you burned that material, you
got to find something else.
Yeah.
Do you think they get in the blue when they
get to the arena or before?
I think it's like in the prestige when that's really the whole act is them being the blue.
It's like the old man with the big balls.
Yeah with the thing between his legs and he's always walking like that and that's actually
the show.
The fact that they're always blue.
It's got to suck having like a bad day and then just having to get in blue You're like fighting with your wife. Yeah, you're fighting with your girlfriend. You have to get into blue
Mid-fight do you think they all shaved their heads or do they were bald cap?
stuff
Probably bald cap because then they would probably get swarmed like if you were walking into the Celtics game and you saw like six
Bald dudes pull up you'd be like about that's that it's gotta be the blue
They probably have to like wear wigs or something as a disguise.
They were blackface as a disguise.
Oh it's just a group of black men.
Wait a second look at their necks.
Look at the front of their neck.
They're blue.
They're blue.
Damn.
The Black Man Group. You can see the blue man. How many blue
man group members are there? I think there's like thousands. So many. Yeah. All
you really need to do is... You just gotta have like one thing. Be good at you know
tapping some sort of household appliance in time. How much
crossover do you think there is between Stomp and Blue Man Group? I'm not familiar with Stomp.
Stomp dead?
I don't think so.
I don't know what Stomp is.
You don't know about Stomp?
No, I've never even heard that before.
They definitely came about at the exact same time.
It's like people making like Nike commercials
out of trash can lids, and they're just like,
do, do, do, do, do.
But with all the things that you see in the street,
there's no actual instruments.
It's all trash can lids.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've never, that was the one part
of the Blue Man Group I was never really pumped on though,
was the music.
I liked when they did the crazy shit.
Like painting something by beating a drum
that's got paint on it. Yeah, and like triple back flips
and marshmallows in the mouth.
I saw, when I saw them live,
they did one where they just got a dude from the crowd
and they just like covered him in paint
and then swung him just straight into a massive canvas.
And it was like, they was like, that's the painting.
It looks like it hurt a lot.
Was he a plant?
Like in the prestige?
He probably was a plant, yeah.
Must've been like the girl in the prestige. Did one of the? Like in the Prestige? He probably was a plant.
Must have been like the girl in the Prestige.
Did one of the blue men kiss the back of his knee as he was tying him to the painting?
I've actually never seen the Prestige.
What?
We should watch that together.
And I heard it's a banger.
I've been saving it for a rainy day.
We'll watch it next rainy day.
I do love that dude. The guy from Batman.
I think we go... I think we go.
Not Christian Bale.
I'm talking about the other dude.
Michael Caine.
Yeah.
I think we go Batting Cages.
Pizza party.
I was going to say like Chili Dogs.
Prostige.
Chili Dogs.
Freak.
Sucking on Chili Dogs.
Watching the Prostige.
It looks like a bang.
I just watch the trailer all the time. And I go, man, this is going to be sick when I eventually watch it.
I just watch it. I'm edging myself.
It's so, dude, I mean there's so many jokes that we could be making right now.
The kiss on the back of the knee joke is just...
I don't know it. I don't know it. I know, that's what I mean.
It's a classic. That's one that's like, that was tailor-made for Sass.
Have you guys heard like all the new terms?
So it's like there's edging, there's gooning,
and now there's mewing.
Well, I know mewing.
What's gooning?
What is mewing?
Mewing is when you're like, it's what the blue man
group does to make noises.
Yeah, you kind of suck.
And then there was another one that I had to Google yesterday.
What's gooning?
Just tell me that before you go in the corner.
I don't know what gooning is.
It's masturbating for a long time.
Really?
No, I thought that was edging.
I think gooning is just like being a freak.
I think gooning, you come during gooning,
edging, there's no coming.
Well, you bring it right to the edge of orgasm.
No, edging, you do come eventually.
Eventually.
And then there's a new one, jelking.
Yes. It does.
It's like the chrysalis.
Edge becomes a goon once you cut it.
People are not talking about the edge to goon.
Edge to goon pipeline.
Jelking is a new one and that's a penis stretching exercise.
Which the Asians probably do.
And I saw, dude, they just keep on remaking Whiplash and doing AI and he's like, it's
the scene where, you know the scene in Whiplash where he brings out,
what's his name, where J.K. Simmons brings out him into the-
Miles Teller?
Yeah, brings out Miles Teller into the hallway.
And he's like, so what did your parents do?
And it's like, my dad was a jelker.
And he's like, my dad jelked as well.
And he's like, and my mother was a mewer.
And they just, they just dub it over,
and I don't understand any of the words.
What's jelking mean?
Jelking is when you take your,
I think you take your flaccid penis
and you pull it as hard as you can to stretch it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not gonna work.
But I looked up jelking on,
I looked up jelking on Google
and it comes up with an AI description of what jelking is.
Read it. It's a penis
stretching exercise that some people attempt to increase, oh there was a
dash, that some people attempt to increase the size of their penis and then there's some
tips for jelking include, this is on Google.
Tips.
Stop if it's painful.
Sit down or lean against a wall or table while doing
it. Good to know. You don't want to pull like a hand. No, right. You want to pull your cock.
Don't do it more than twice a day. Is it, are you trying to wait to the end of
your penis and letting gravity do its thing? No, I think that is not
recommended. Talk to a doctor if you plan to do it more frequently. So you're just
stretching your dick.
I got some tips.
I've got a little experience with this.
With jelking?
Yeah, you know what a really good tool for jelking is?
The pump.
I was gonna say a tennis racket actually
is a really good one.
How so?
Oh, well it's called the Novak Jelkovic.
Oh, okay.
What do you do?
You put your penis in the webs and extend?
Yep, you use the strings from a tennis racket to stretch your peen.
And what else is there?
I've heard that there's a basketball one that you use.
Is there?
Nikola Jelkic.
Ah!
What do you guys think would happen if you went to your doctor and you said,
so I was Googling and they said to talk to you if I was planning on jelking more than twice a day. If you went in and you like
thought of that as like a common thing to say, you were like, well, online they said
to like get your recommendation to say if it's safe or not to jelk more than once a
day.
And it's definitely just like pediatricians who are having to deal with this.
Like excuse me? Jelking?
I'm actually going to have to go on WebMD.
Yeah. Well, I'm currently, I'm in going to have to go on WebMD. Yeah.
Well, currently I'm in the process
of extending the length of my penis through stretching.
And they said, like, I need a doctor.
Like, I need to, like, do you think
you need, like, a prescription to?
Or doctor supervision, maybe?
Yeah.
Just come into the office a couple times a week
and just jelk in front of me.
Yeah, I can do before lunch on Mondays.
Sometimes I try to do it with my eyes closed
and not making a sound.
I call it the Hellenjelker.
That's really great.
But sometimes a sound does come out
and it doesn't sound good.
Like what a squeal?
Sounds like a seal, yeah, walrus.
So I still don't understand what it is.
You're just pulling your penis?
Yeah, famously I think Rachmaninoff had very large hands.
It might not have been Rachmaninoff, the composer,
but it annoyed him that he could only achieve
like a stretch of 10 notes on the piano.
And he wanted to make his hands even bigger and wider,
so he would jelk his own hands.
So he could do this cross hand piece.
But he ended up ruining his hands.
That's where jelking originated.
So he could play Runaway by Kanye on the piano.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Yeah, I can't find the video.
I'll probably never be able to find it again.
There was another one.
So there's jelking, mewing, edging, and gooning.
Yes, and mewing really is, though,
if you had to SAT it and say which one doesn't belong.
I bet Mewing has another meeting.
Mewing has nothing to do with the penis.
Mewing in that group is sort of like the final answer on the early questions of
who wants to be a millionaire. Yes.
We're like, the Great Wall of China is in China, India, Bangladesh, DC Discovery Zone.
Do you know what I mean, Sass? That's DC Discovery Zone.
Do you know what I mean, Sass? That's DC Discovery Zone.
No.
Is that answer.
Sass.
Edging, doing, joking, and more.
When you don't listen to me, it feels so disrespectful.
I know, but I'm just trying to figure out what mewing means.
I listen to you.
I know.
Mewing is when...
We know what it is.
But it doesn't make sense.
Rone's right.
It doesn't make sense.
Why is mewing in there?
It's just like a child word.
Because it's funny.
These are just TikTok-y things. Mewing is when you do that with your mouth to try to
create a more stream, like a tighter jawline. It's like a jawline workout.
I see it working. I literally just watched it work on your face.
I got to start mewing.
You literally do.
But I don't understand what the correlation is between mewing and gooning and edging and
jelking.
Because they're like child words.
It's like when like jive turkey came out or like cool cat, like hip cat.
It's like oh the kids are going to shit because everyone's saying jive turkey.
It's the same shit.
Gooners are mewing.
The mewers are going.
I see. So there's a, the mewing in The mewers are gunners.
I see.
So there's a, the mewing in the gunning community is very...
It's the transitive property.
Yeah.
The associated.
All, all...
I'm just trying to keep up with the young, with the young bucks.
All jelkers goon, but not all gunners mew.
No, I don't think all gunners jelk.
Like, is the point of jelking to have your soft penis look better.
I think it's just to have your penis be bigger.
But like, does it work?
You just said it doesn't work when you're hard.
I don't think it works at all.
So why are people so obsessed with it?
I don't know.
I saw a list on on like, sometimes I'll open Instagram and it'll go to, what's Instagram's version of Twitter?
Reels?
Oh, threads?
Threads, and there was a threads,
and it was like the average penis size for,
like the 10 biggest countries for average penis size.
Oh yeah, and then it'll say like show more
and they try to make you download threads.
Or yeah, I mean I already have threads.
Oh, you have threads.
And I fucking, I looked at what the, all all the top and it's like some of them is like
averages like eight inches or something like and then they'll go to like then
there'll be another thread where it's the smallest ones and it'll be like that
like it's the smallest ones and like Sri Lanka or some shit like that it's
average is three three inches but it's just like, it just made me wonder
like why people take pride in like the average penis size
of their nation.
Like it's such an individualized statistic
that like you can't be like, all my boys have big cocks.
Yeah.
It's like, well, do you have a big cock?
It's like, no, boys all of my boys do genetically
I know my boys got me passport need I say more? I know my boys got my back
If you stack all of our numbers on end, yeah me personally you catch me alone
Maybe I don't have a big cock, but it's all of us Italian guys together, we all have big cocks.
I've never.
I'm not gonna lie, the jelks on me,
because I have to bring this up a little,
but the rest of my boys, you should see.
Yeah, your boys probably sit you down,
and they're like, it's time to start jelking
three times a week.
Yeah, they sit you down, they're like,
are you sitting on your cock right now?
No?
All right.
All right, well then stand against a wall.
You've got some work to do.
It's time to jelk.
And then we're gonna talk to your doctor for you you because you obviously haven't been talking to your doctor about
Okay, take these kettlebells and this thimble attached to this fucking chain. Talk to your doctor about gel king today
If your gel claws last for more than four hours call a doctor. There's some pretty good riffy lube over there
I like that. That's actually a funny idea for a sketch to do like a like an infomercial about jelking. Jelking. Yeah. Might be a little
be sure. Might be a deep cut. Well, once people just know more about jelking. Yeah, people just
need to learn about jelking. That's why I say it shouldn't even be a joke. It should be a real
infomercial. Right. Just to get people up to speed. Yeah, explaining the pros and cons of jelking.
But maybe that could be part of the sketch, is people finding out what jelking is.
Yeah.
Someone not knowing, like your mom not knowing what jelking is.
Yeah.
Mom, don't fucking bother me, I'm jelking!
They mean, they estimate that within the next six to eight months, jelking will be a household word.
People will be familiar with it.
Be added to the Oxford dictionary.
Yeah, it's to the Oxford dictionary.
It's one of like the eight new words of 2025.
Word of the year, yeah.
Jelking, mewing.
What are the words of the year?
We need to look up the books.
I think Riz was one of them a couple years ago.
I thought Riz was fairly new.
I'm fairly new to the brain rod.
Also, there's 70 members of the Blue Man Group.
70? Do you think there's
one that does like every show? I think the cruise industry being hurt by COVID really
did a number on the blue. Blue. On the blues? On the blues. Well, they lost so much work.
It is such a cruise ship. Is there a slur for the Blue Man Group? Like for a blue person?
What's like an off shade of blue person what's like a off shade of blue
what's like a worse well some people say that Drake is blue how do you how so I
don't know I forget cuz you have to sign you cuz he's black Jewish that's it yeah
yeah goblin mode was the word of the year in 2020 what is it goblin mode was
the other mode and that's according to what
What is the word of the year? And that's according to what?
Oxford word of the year.
Riz was 2023.
Goblin mode was 2022.
Word of the year.
Vax was 2021.
Wasn't Riz on there last year?
Is there a vote?
Cause we, if there's a vote,
we should try and make Jelking the word of the year.
I don't like our gods.
Climate emergency was word of the year. I don't like our gods.
If we could legitimately get our followers to make Jelking the word of the year.
I mean, I would like we'd be top would be.
We'd probably be on Rogan.
He'd want us all on.
We need to find a way to get on Rogan.
Uh, the three of us?
I'm planning on going on just solo eventually. Well, it'll be like when Legion of Scanx goes on.
Yeah, sure.
You're our Dave Smith.
Climate emergency was the word of the year in 2019.
Then the year 2018 was toxic.
Have you guys seen that commercial of John Legend, the Pfizer one?
No.
Where he's like playing the piano and then he pulls his sleeve down and there's like 18 band-aids lining his arm.
Is that real?
Oh yeah, it's only two band-aids.
They're just ordinary vaccines.
No need to question science.
We didn't ask you how Sebastian was.
Oh yeah, I talked about it a little bit
on the last episode, but.
I didn't watch.
It was a heater, it was a great show.
Did you wear tuxes? No. Did you wear you wear suits now did you wear anything in individual unique or
fun I wore a Bruins shirt pussy time kind of got away from me and then I was
like oh shit we gotta go now time got away from you we've been talking about
it for months I thought the show was that eight it was at 730 and then I was like well I got to go film the fucking I got to feel I got to do this game time
Ad so I was like I gotta go or I want to go early
I don't want to have to do this like crack packed. Yeah, but yeah, I was fucking awesome. The seats were insane
Yeah, we get ushered down to our seats. Really? Yeah, and were you bugging out? I was bugging out
Yeah, because your eyes looked super red and then...
We had to walk by the stage.
Like, this is the stage right here.
You thought he was going to crowdwork your ass?
No, but it was just like,
it was weird being at the center of Madison Square Garden
with all these people.
Like, they're not, I mean, obviously they're not looking at us,
but it's like, you can feel the amount of people.
You're basically Isaiah Hartentine. Yeah. You're basically Isaiah Hartonson.
Yeah.
You're basically Carl Anthony Towns.
Exactly.
One of the other New York knicker boxers.
Yeah.
Knicker boxers.
Yeah, good save.
I always wanted to do a sketch where a dude is just,
like a colonial dude just looking in the mirror
after opening up a Amazon package,
and he's just like super excited,
and he's just holding up a pair of pants. He's just like, my knickers. And then his black friend
walks in and is like, what the fuck?
That's a banger. I like it.
Certified banger.
I'll talk to my team, see if we can make that happen.
Ten second sketch.
Yeah.
That's all I ask.
Yeah, it was a fun show. It was it was pretty great
What what did Sebastian say like say some of his premises in the punch?
Do like as many of his jokes just like yeah remember I remember all of them really yeah
I could do the full hour right now. Well you had did they put your phone in a bag now
No bags me and Francis went to the fucking mother Francis took me to the mothership. That's what you're fun in a bag
Oh, yeah, yeah, they padded me. They took the phones and then they patted me down and
They joked my dick like they like lightly. They got every I'm not sure
For at that club no they said that a bad man came to the club recently with a big thing that he's wrong No, no worse a bomb that or a an
Automatic bomb shooter. No way. Actually, that's what they said
I think this one tried to bring a big gun into the mothership recently
Well, luckily they have 700 big guns in there to fight off the one other man with a big gun
And most of them are on Joe Rogan's arms. Yeah
Someone made the point to me though,
because I was saying, talking about the security,
in some comic, we said that the plus side
is that they remove people from the audience
who are being disruptive more efficiently
and more quickly than any other comedy club
you've ever been to.
I bet it's not as good as ComedyWorks.
I'm telling you, dude, ComedyWorks doesn't have some fucking armed Navy SEAL coming up
and standing over a girl who's over served and being like, if you don't get out right
now I'm going to shoot you dead.
That shouldn't be a thing.
Well, it is a thing.
But at ComedyWorks, the dude removed 30 people from the Late Show and I did not notice one
of them being removed.
Really? Yes. I watched it. It was like a ninja
I almost kicked a wall
I almost had to do was like crawling under the tables and grabbing people and being like come with me
Well at first they weren't gonna let you kick people out
But then he like killed for two sets in a row and the Navy SEALs like you want a holder and it handed over the
Desert Eagle that he was holding That's what they should do.
They should bring a gun on stage and then if someone and then if you find out that someone
in the crowd has the woke mind virus, you can kill them right there.
It's like a zombie.
It's like you need to kill them so the woke mind virus doesn't spread through the crowd.
I said fag and that person didn't laugh.
Here's 12 nine millimeter bullets to the skull
No woke no woke mind virus here you need to have 12 different bouncers do it too, so no one knows who did the killing
Yeah, like a fucking firing squad
So no one knows whose bullet was the actual one that killed him
You don't feel guilty about ending the woke mind virus, but you just know it's dead
It is a cool club, and it is cool, but I just didn't like...
It's something about hanging out there,
where you're looking around and there's 12 dudes
with machine guns attached to them.
It's like, it's not as loose, it's not as like a relaxed
of like a hangout as other clubs that I've been to.
I think I did notice that even,
because there are three successive nights, hang out as other clubs that I've been to. I think I did notice that even,
because there are three successive nights,
even by the third night, I was treated better.
Yeah, yeah.
And they knew who I was.
And I think if you're just there a lot,
they kind of loosen up.
Yeah. I mean, it does make sense.
Like, I'm sure people actually try to kill Joe Rogan.
Yeah, or they're, or they try to get close to him.
Yeah.
They bother him. Yeah. I mean he's like a politician
And also he's like has the enough like fringe ideas that the people that he probably attracts at the most
extreme level all are
Crazy people like Ted Kaczynski like building bombs in the woods
but I remember like even at Francis's show like one of the other comics was up and I laughed, like kind of like a half laugh.
And then I just got jammed in the fucking ribs
with an AK-47.
I was like, I'm into this thing.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wait, so you guys were there last, you guys weren't there this weekend.
No.
That was last weekend.
The weekend prior.
So did you guys go straight from Austin to Chicago?
Yeah.
Damn.
How was Pup Punk?
It was awesome.
It was good?
Actually, Jamie came.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's sick.
We hung out with him afterwards.
Oh, yeah, because I forgot you guys are friends, right?
I've met him.
Yeah, I've met him.
You played golf with him a couple times? Just one time, yeah.
Damn.
Sounds fun.
You came through on some chill shit.
I had some FOMO, not gonna lie.
Really?
Yeah, when you guys were like posting in the airport
and shit, I was like, fuck.
That's how I always feel when you guys
are on the road together.
I was bomb.
Funny how I'm the middle ground.
I'm the common denominator.
Well, cause I was just like, I know Francis's shit
talking me to Rhone right now. Oh, it's just like, it's so nice to walk to the right denominator. Well, cause I was just like, I know Francis's shit talking me to Rhone right now.
Oh, it's just like, it's so nice to walk to the right gate.
And I know Rhone's spineless going along with it.
It's nice to walk to the right gate
instead of having to sprint all the way
across the fucking airport.
Never bro.
It was, we went out to a nice-
Were you guys shit talking to me?
Be honest.
We finished, to finish the story you were telling about the on the way home,
so he didn't check the box for automatic upgrades for comfort plus and he didn't get the upgrade.
And then when we got out, we both had a checked bag and I had put my diamond medallion tag on my
bag and he had not. And my bag- Because it's not my normal suitcase that I travel with. Wait, you have a diamond medallion tag on my bag. Yeah. And he had not. And my bag.
Well, cause it's not my normal suitcase that I travel with.
Wait, you have a diamond medallion tag?
I have two of them.
I didn't know you got tags for that.
You get two tags.
I thought that was only for 360.
No.
It's for diamond medallion.
And they bring out the bags significantly earlier.
Here's how much better the treatment is
of diamond medallion bags.
They only had about five diamond medallion bags
that came out and then we waited 10 minutes
at the conveyor belt.
No more bags.
When you're not even sure of the best part,
when his diamond medallion bag came out,
there was a little person playing a trumpet on top of it.
Like,
dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Yeah.
And he was like, I'm trying to get into a blue man
group. I just need to jock my whole body was two glasses of
champagne.
Yeah, top of the perfect towel like folded as a soaping wet
towel. Some rose house and some some chocolate and no, no, that
my my bags were on a completely different carousel. The fucking I mean my uber rating probably plummeted because I called the guys so fucking early
People cannot stop texting me about I call you I call you as the trains landing
We haven't even touched down yet, and I'm like be there. I think about ready, but I never get it right
It's so hard to time it right. It's so hard
Because it's either they're either like 15 minutes away, or they're there. They're like I'm get it right. It's so hard to time it right. It's so hard. Cause it's either they're either like 15 minutes away
or they're there.
They're like, I'm here already.
Right. Exactly.
Cause they're on the drop off level.
So they'll accept it on the drop off
and then you'll see them driving away.
I'll be like, why are you driving away?
Yeah. Yeah.
Why are you abandoning me?
I had one yesterday when I landed that said,
they said, he said that he was here,
but then he like went around again.
And then I got a notification saying that I was going to get charged more because he
had been waiting for so long.
And I screenshot and I said, he's not even here right now.
You're that guy.
Well, I wasn't going to pay more because he went around again.
I was there.
I was ready.
My rating probably plummeted.
Ready to go.
How do you see what your rating is?
You go to the account.
Yeah, I'm down to a 484.
Damn!
I think that might be exactly the rating I have.
What did you do?
Um, verified? What the fuck?
On Uber?
That's crazy.
I bet my rating is like a 38.
Are you guys verified?
I'm also 484 and I'm verified.
Oh, I'm a 487
That's not bad great 487 how many how many estimated co2 have you guys saved
Zero grams zero
Estimated co2 saved zero grams dude. I got four thousand seven hundred. Grams? Real Uber. Real Uber.
Not too many of us.
How many of us?
What's up with Uber for teens?
That feels like a good opportunity for just a pedophile to get involved in that.
I didn't know there was Uber for teens.
Look at this.
How do you know there's Uber for teens?
Uber for teens.
You pedophile ass.
Invite teens.
Send this to 10 of your favorite teens.
What?
That's what it says.
Oh fuck, why are you getting that?
I don't know.
The, I got a, after me and you like rode to the airport
and from the airport together,
I got the wildest targeted ad, dude.
The most insane targeted ad on, look at this targeted ad dude the most insane targeted ad on look at this targeted ad
was it an ad for a jelking pump it's worse it's for LGBTQ couples who are
trying to conceive oh shit after just me and Francis rode in the car for two uber
rides my phone listened to me me was like you must be gay
Yeah
That's crazy. That's so funny. Tammuz is proud to serve
LGBTQ couples offering them the opportunity to have biological children
I never get any funny targeted ads all my targeted ads are just like go see
Look at the picture crazy my phone, I thought was like your game hell
Yeah, my phone was like you could not be gay or you're not. It's were actually gay. They didn't really look gay
You just said they look like me and Francis. So I'll take that as a compliment
Because we didn't don't actually look gay. Well, I don't know about that. I saw you do you two walking through the airport?
Yeah, right, bro bringing my kids to the side over. Do that away from them. I finally got a pair of jeans that I'm
okay with. Yeah, those are nice. Fresh as hell. Where'd you get them? The internet.
But it's beautiful already. Celine or something like that. Celestine. It's right around from
Celestine. Yeah, so right next to it. It's not as good. It's next to the library. Celestine's not that good.
Yeah, it's not. I haven't. But it looks great. It's it's uh
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All right, I gotta run.
Thank you guys.
I'll see you tomorrow.
We're recording tomorrow, right?
We and Ron are.
We and Ron.
Take some time off.
Oh, I mean.
Get your act together. We would Ron are. We and Rose. Oh, I mean.
You would love to.
Um, can we go earlier?
Because I have a flight at...
sometime.
I could go 10, 11, 12.
Yeah, that's it.
Let's do it.
But it's been such a slog getting some jeans I could wear this fall.
What's your jeans situation?
Those are cool.
Are you off denim?
No, I like denim.
I just, I could use a pair like that.
Those are way cooler than any of the ones I have.
Who makes those?
I'm not even sure.
Just, I just know this.
They're from the internet.
I think they were like carpenter or painter jeans or something.
Did you see KB's shirt that he was wearing when he was on your episode?
I did, yeah.
Graziano. He recommended it.
Yeah, yeah, great.
He just hit me up out of the blue one day
and was like, recommend me a shirt.
Yeah.
And I put him onto this brand called Graziano and Gutierrez.
Yeah, he said the shirt was like 300 bucks.
It was $350 for a short sleeve shirt.
Wow.
That looks like it was made by pillowcases
that are sewn together.
It was preposterous. I mean, there were some nice compliments about it, short sleeve shirt that looks like it was made by pillowcases that are sewn together.
It was preposterous.
I mean, there were some nice compliments about it, but I felt a little bit guilty about how
expensive this fucking shirt was.
Yeah, that's great.
It's handmade in Mexico.
But we're just trying to think, can we get this fucking shirt brand, like, can we get
this shirt brand really popping?
Graziano and Gutierrez.
Because if we can, if like all the sona-boy dad and anus and oops listeners and Peppa
Pod listeners and all everyone in Israel buys these these shirts that that like it could change the
It could change this town if they're hand sewing these shirts in the small town in Mexico. Yeah, that would probably change all of their lives
Yeah, they're just got we can't keep't keep up with the number of fucking shirts.
We just got 700 orders in Israel.
For $350 shirts.
Yeah, that's $350 for a shirt is ridiculous.
Ridiculous.
That's like a suit.
It's got to be like, it has to be the best shirt you've ever seen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that shirt was good.
Dude, was it the best shirt you'd ever seen though?
No, not a $350 shirt, that's for sure.
Yeah.
I've stopped spending money.
Yeah.
That cannot be true.
I really have.
You just had a-
That's because you were living in the Chicago office
for a full week.
I haven't spent any money.
I've really cut back on spending.
I have not been spending.
I have not been, yeah, I have not been buying many meals as they just brought us troughs of food. Yeah, what they bring you guys anything good
There's that good. It was good. Can't talk about the food. Yeah, the food was really good. Like what chick-fil-a every night? Oh
something something
Kitchen kitchen something kitchen. No, I'm familiar
It's a such a good spot in Chicago. What's it called? Something.
Honest Kitchen. Honest Kitchen.
Let me look. The day before the competition started, I went,
I went by that restaurant that me and you went to, that breakfast spot.
Oh, yeah. Fun one. I just walked past.
So they give you cookies? No cookies.
Double chocolate chunk.
Cookies. True Food Kitchen was really good.
So good. It was true. Chocolate chunk cookie true food kitchen was really good
It was true true food too
Wasn't that BS that everyone's shoving in their bodies that seed oil that fucking seed oil or or that olive oil? That's barely even olive oil if it doesn't say EVOO. I'm not fucking drinking it dude
I gotta be honest with you. I I bought a bottle of olive oil
From that was from Palestine.
Whoa.
And I'm sorry to be controversial.
It's the best olive oil I've ever had.
Really? Where did you even find that?
I think it's pressed from the rubble.
I don't know how they do it.
I think it's like this mix of the bombed out olive trees
and they just scoop up the rubble and then they sift it.
It's like San Marzano tomatoes,
how they have the ash of the Suvius in them.
You know how most olive oil is cold pressed?
This is heat pressed from the concussion blasts of bombs.
Take a taste of it, a dab of it.
Where did you find Palestinian olive oil? You bought it online?
I bought it from the Red Cross. From the Red Cross? No. I bought it at Whole Foods. I bought it at Whole Foods.
That's crazy. I'm surprised it's even for sale still. I feel like Whole Foods is kind of against that shit.
It's crazy how much better olive oil is in everywhere but the United States. Yeah.
Well, truly the best olive oil I've ever had. Whole Foods is like peak woke mind virus.
Really?
Yeah.
Bunch of libs.
It's owned by Amazon.
I know.
It's like their woke mind.
Which is very conflicting.
But the woke mind virus is like,
deep down is propagated by the corporations.
Exactly.
By the way, you've seen the, I'm sorry, keep going.
No, no, no, I'm done.
I've seen the what?'m sorry, keep going. No, no, no, I'm done. I've seen the what?
The art bend on the Manhattan Bridge
is once again covered in graffiti.
Yes.
And now it's a problem
because it's all political messaging.
It's all like, it says like, free Gaza,
and then someone crosses out free and writes, fuck.
And then someone crosses that out
and is like, get your olive oil from somewhere else.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Is it extra virgin?
It has to be.
There's at least a few in there.
17 virgin olive oil?
Yeah, well it'd be 73.
That was 73, 72.
There's an extra.
You beat me to it and I got the number wrong.
Fucking kill myself?
No, don't do that brother.
Would have been such a good joke.
I stomped on it and fucked it up.
I'm a damn fool.
Don't say that.
Brain fog. I got all sorts of brain fog right now.
It's probably because it's the seed oils.
You have brain brain.
I know.
You have a bad case of brain brain.
You need to get on the nootropics.
I've had to soberly go out two weeks in a row.
And my God, is it the most exhausting thing I've ever done?
Just sitting like my neck
is sore from just head bobbing. That was me at the wedding. Four hours straight just.
That is brutal. It just it just tired you out. Dude Were you pretending to drink or you were you like I must have drank
45 athletic beers
I cleared out they were they were like we're all out. We're done. Oh
My god
It was just take a break and just drink for that that specific time
Because I wanted to watch ball the next morning
Oh, you wanted to be fresh for ball? Fresh for ball.
And then I still wasn't fresh for ball.
I ended up having to take a nap.
I vaped for two months.
It made me so tired.
Yeah you gotta push through that.
No I had to stop vaping.
You gotta push through.
It was fun.
It makes you feel nice and lightheaded a little bit.
But it also made me so tired.
Like it just made me so sleepy. I'm so tired. When I used to, when I, when I used to feel stuff from vaping, it would be like the most intense rush of like nausea and anxiety. And then I would like
throw the vape away. And then like 10 minutes later, I just go to the store and buy another one.
I do remember fishing one out of the trash once too. Yeah. Oh, man.
I got in two nights ago late from Chicago.
From Shandorak.
I turned on the TV and I went, oh, I'm
watching the Vince McMahon documentary on Netflix.
Oh, I heard it's good.
It's excellent.
Yeah, I'm watching The Last Dance.
I've never seen it.
Wow.
Shit is flames.
Should we talk about that now?
No, I was just saying good good doc
But I want to hear about seems like a good time transition to your story. I want to hear about Vince
Well, I went Vince and then I got horny and I turned on a little pornography on my TV. That's crazy
Yeah, that's weird. You're a freak. Why that's I think that's a good thing. I think that's actually by definition gooning and
Then I went back to Vince.
Bruh.
And.
After a nut.
Within four minutes or five minutes of going back to Vince,
I got a call on my phone from my doorman
who told me, and it was now it's 12 20 a.m.
And he goes, I'm really sorry to bother you,
but one of your neighbors called us to ask
if you wouldn't mind turning down the volume on your TV.
They have a little baby,
and I guess the baby sleeps in the room
that's on the other side of the wall from my TV.
So I immediately turned my TV off and went to bed.
You're literally the apartment freak.
I didn't know if they were bothered by the pornography
or the vents.
Definitely the porn.
You think?
Definitely the porn that was blaring
through their newborn babies room.
I listen to room temperature porn.
I don't listen to loud porn.
Listening to porn, watching porn on your TV.
It's great.
It's the whole purpose of having a smart TV.
What are you talking about? It's freakish. No, it's not. It's great. It's the whole purpose of having a smart TV. What are you talking about?
It's freakish.
No, it's not.
It's great. You're part of it.
Dude, I remember when I found out that I could go on Google
on my PlayStation in high school
and I watched porn on my TV once.
And then I was like, yeah, I'm never doing that again.
That was weird as fuck.
Too close for you?
What do you mean too close?
It's too big? It's too large?
It's too big. It should be on your phone or nothing.
Laptop, even laptop is weird. No, laptop. Laptop's weird.
Get out of here, you're such a fucking Gen Z.
We started on our computers and wished for larger monitors.
You started on your computers because that was all you had.
Yeah, I know.
Try it one time for me.
It should be in your bed, on your phone.
We'll do it together, I'll come over, We'll go batting cages, chili dogs, prestige.
Aren't you worried that your neighbors,
the people outside are going to see the porn ripping
through your TV?
I live on a very high floor.
Very high.
People are going to be flying over your apartment going,
oh my god, look at that freak in the building.
Oh, what a freak.
He's watching heterosexual pornography on the TV on the TV
Well, what kind of porn what kind of what size TV do you have normal porn? What size TV do you have regular porn?
Nothing weird one one first of all, there's no such thing as normal porn anymore. The top recommendations are always free
Yeah, I don't do that. Honestly, I just kind of googled like you watch a scene over a lot of work
I could who you know what? I like I honestly, I just kind of Googled like, the same scene over and over. You watch soft core?
I could.
Ooh, you know what I like?
Titty drop compilations.
You ever seen those?
Bro, what are you in middle school?
I'm trying to go less extreme.
I think the less extreme I go,
the less fucked up I'll be from my pornography.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm just telling you dude, start watching porn on your TV. That's a slippery slope. I'll be from my pornography. Do you know what I mean?
I'm just telling you dude, start watching porn on your TV. That's a slippery slope.
Next thing you know, you're gonna have one of those fucking silicon asses mounted on your ottoman.
Yeah, but the-
You're gonna be fucking it while watching porn on your TV.
Yeah, but the titty drop-
Well, take it to conference call.
Yeah, yeah.
The titty drop compilations have a beat behind them, which you can time your stroke to.
Oh, I've seen those before.
And it tells you it's like, it's like a countdown on when you which you can time your stroke to. Oh, I've seen those before.
And it tells you it's like a countdown
on when you're supposed to bust your load.
Yeah, it's like when I'm at level four.
When your engine is supposed to turn into gooning.
I always try to get to level five.
I never make it, because that's when
they start breaking out the really good drops.
Oh my god.
Let the bodies hit the floor.
That's so sick.
It's good.
Good for you.
And there are times too where like you look at the,
the before they're out and you think there's no way
they're big under there.
And they always are.
I don't know how they do it.
Sometimes it's like, are they wearing a sports bra?
If I made one of those compilations,
I would make it like super good the whole way through.
And then the last one would just be a dude
Dropping the titties out just hairy nipples or like right after the comm meter goes off
Yeah, yeah
Level seven. Bust your nut! And then you start busting and then it's just like the hairiest dude
What a sad job that must be having to make that compilation. There's no way it's a job
Firing up Adobe Premiere. There's no there's always a job firing up Adobe Premiere
There's no way to jobs on I always wondered about that
Who are these like film students that their side hustles creating?
You know facial compilation. Yeah, let her finish compilation. It's absolutely a job
Where's the clout come in the clout like like if you're doing it on like?
If you're making your own you have to wait for get to the credits at the end and then you see who edited it.
It's like DJs.
Yeah.
Those who know, know.
Isn't there a, like didn't Smitty have to edit gay porn for a job one time?
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure he had to be a video.
Who's Smitty?
Smitty?
Yeah, I'm kidding.
I know who he is.
I just haven't seen him that much.
I know.
Because you guys have been in Chicago for a week.
He was there?
He was on the show with us.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, nice.
Good for Smitty.
But I think that he got a job video editing and it was like gay porn was the videos that
he had to edit.
That's crazy.
Was he a freelance editor
and he would just get shit sent to him
and be like, edit this for 200 bucks?
I don't know, I assume that he had to go into like
an office with just like one couch there
or something like that.
Or take a driving test.
That's a fun one that I've gotten into.
What is that?
They do like fake driving school.
Learner's permits, driver's licenses, and then the girl like parallel parks
incorrectly and the only way she can get, get back in the game.
Let me straighten you out.
Getting a dick in her ass.
He's doing a little titty drop.
Yeah.
By titty dropping is how she gets.
Oh, you didn't line up the rear view, the rear view side window with the
corner of the front car.
Now I'm going to have to put my dick in your mouth
to show you how it's done.
That's it.
This is such a stressful situation.
All these people behind me are trying to get by
and they're honking.
I don't know what to do.
And you don't even know how to drive stick shift.
Yeah.
I would be so mortified if my neighbors
had to call the front desk and then call me.
I'm just telling myself it was from the Vince McMahon documentary.
It wasn't.
It wasn't.
I'm just telling me.
Well, they didn't call until Vince came back on.
Yeah.
And it went from being like, oh, oh, to, oh, are you ready for Stone Cold Steve Austin?
I mean, I definitely turned it back for Vince.
What about the Vince documentary got you to the point
where you're like, I gotta crank down right now?
All the muscles and tanning oil.
So dudes.
I don't know.
I wasn't checking.
Men got you to the point where you said,
I have to turn it off.
No, I got bored.
You got bored of looking at men and not touching your dick.
Look, this wouldn't be the first time
that I've gone from NFL football to porn. Yeah, I've definitely done that. Yeah, this wouldn't be the first time that I've gone from like NFL football to porn.
Yeah, I've definitely done that.
Yeah, what are you talking about?
That's usually in the Sunday routine.
It's not.
Around halftime.
It's not that the NFL.
Halftime on the 1PM games.
It's not the NFL got me in the mood,
it's just something happened where I got bored.
Yeah.
And said, oh, let's just go to the internet browser
on my smart TV.
I get that.
Order wings. Yeah, order wings. Beat off the internet browser on my smart TV. I get that. Order wings.
Yeah, order wings.
Beat off by the time you're done.
Red Zone starts playing highlights because there's no games playing right now.
You see the touchdown compilation.
Yeah.
You know what else has compilations?
Yeah, Titty Drop.
Titty Drops.
That's what they should do, honestly.
Red Zone should not just be football.
It should be like a compilation of things to keep you entertained for the entire Sunday.
So it's like, okay, there's only one currentm. Game that still hasn't gone to halftime, but it's like Titans Dolphins
No one really cares about that. So we're gonna switch over to a titty drop
Yeah, so a titty drop compilation like chive TV
Yeah, exactly something that would just be on at the bar and we'll put we'll put Dolphins Titans in like the upper right box
Just to keep people who are still wanting to watch that
Wasn't there an episode of Friends where Monica walked in on Chandler and he
Jerking off and he switched it to football or something like that
But she then thought he was turned on by football. I don't know. I don't think so me and Ron don't really fuck with Friends
So I don't know you have to I don't that's not true. I love Friends. No, I thought we hated it
Good try. Good try fucker. I thought we hated it. I actually don't know. You have to... That's not true, I love friends. No, I thought we hated it. Good try, good try, fucker.
I thought we hated it.
I actually don't know, I haven't seen that episode.
No, I have seen that one.
And she thinks that he's attracted to the football players.
And she then wears a helmet or something,
or puts on a football shirt.
He's lying, he's never seen that episode.
What are you talking about?
I just said what happened in the episode.
You just repeated what Francis said.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
You went to the next step, that's what happened.
He literally just repeated what you said. It's information he another player. He went to the next step. That's what happened. He literally just repeated what he said.
It's information he wouldn't have known if I had not stopped.
So how could I, how would I know that if I didn't watch Friends?
Disgusting.
I think this is an L for you.
This is disgusting what's going on.
It's an L.
Big time air lafer.
Little Sasquatcha.
So fucked.
So what's next for you guys?
Sebastian coming up.
Pretty excited. Actually, I'm going to K-Tronado this weekend.
Really? You keep on looking for me, but where's my Tempsey?
I'm going to be in Baltimore this weekend.
Oh, good. Yeah.
Go to Temp Street Oyster House and Ekeben.
I think I'm going to bring my fishing gear. No, no. Yeah. Go to 10th Street Oyster House and Ekibin. I think I'm gonna bring my fishing gear. No, no. Yeah.
Oh, I just saw a video of someone getting the shit kicked out of them in Baltimore
Some old man just walking home. They were stomping on his head
His daughter was there that's kind of suck not great
I just saw a video of two guys fishing and a cop pulls up as one of the fishing guys
They're like fishing on a bridge and the cop pulls up as one of the fishing guys throws the other one off the bridge
So be careful where you fish bro. Why did they throw him off the bridge?
I don't know
I just saw the video and then the cop pulls out a gun on the guy doesn't save the guy who got thrown over the
Bridge he probably was fishing in his honey hole
If someone's fishing in my honey hole, they're going off the bridge
He probably was fishing in his honey hole.
If someone's fishing in my honey hole, they're going off the bridge.
Yeah.
Dude, there was, I walked our dog yesterday, uh, for a long walk and I walked along the, the piers.
Sass, this is for you.
So you can just stay with me here.
Um, I did that same walk yesterday.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Along the pier.
I was down there as well.
And there were four old Chinese guys.
Fishing.
Fishing.
And they were probably just taking everything.
Yeah, they take everything.
And I just thought these sass would
love to be around the sea right now.
Those guys take everything, and they take way more
over the limit than they're allowed to.
But they catch huge fish.
Oh, yeah.
It's all live bait.
They can't read the signs.
They can.
They lie.
Can you eat those fish?
Yeah, like the ones in the Hudson?
Yep, no the East River.
The East River.
Yeah, you probably can, but it's probably not recommended.
I think it's fine.
I was told by someone who works on a major marine biology restoration program for the
rivers around New York, that the rivers are totally clean, or they're fine for swimming
when you shouldn't do it is right after it rains.
Because that's when the sort of like sewage gets-
Because the ship's sewage flows in.
... fucking, yeah, mixed in.
But other than that, if it hasn't rained for a few days, it's totally fine.
Are they trying to repopulate oysters in that area?
That's the guy. A billion oyster project.
Yes.
Yeah.
They're trying to get a billion oysters there because it'll clean the environment?
Oysters clean the water. They're natural filters. And so planting oyster beds is a major way
to clean the water. Check it out, Billion Oyster Project
is a very good initiative that I gave some money to.
Oh, nice.
I went fishing this weekend.
I didn't really catch much.
I just caught a bunch of pickerel, which are disgusting.
Pickerel?
Yeah, chain pickerel.
They're like pike.
Disgusting.
And they're like snakes.
I caught one that was like 18 inches long,
but like this thin, the whole length.
That's foul.
Ew.
So I threw it back immediately.
That's gross.
Get this thing away from me.
Did you take a picture even?
No.
I know it's nasty if you didn't take a picture.
I didn't take a picture, I took it
and I tucked it back in the water.
Because you need as many fucking pictures as you can get.
Yeah, if that was a bass,
I'm fucking setting up the camera posing with it.
But if it's a pickerel, you throw it in
and it'll fucking just boomerang back to you.
Oh, they're so gross, dude.
I honestly, part of me thought about just killing it.
It looks like someone was tugging on it
to make it longer, the pickerel.
The pickerel literally looks like when you jelk your dick
for three times a day instead of two.
When you finally get that doctor recommendation to jelk over two times a day.
All right, you've done well for the last six months.
When Doc finally clears you to jelk three times a day.
Special medical clearance.
Doctor's note.
Oh god.
Alright, good app.
Oh, you want to end it?
Yup.
He had to be out.
Oh, okay.
He's a heart out in two minutes.
I didn't know that.
I was gonna go.
I was ready to go for another hour.
Alright.
Just me and you, Sas?
No.
See?
You weren't ready.
Alright, well, I'm gonna be in Baltimore this weekend with my friend, and I'm alright. Just me and you says no see you already
All right, well I'm gonna be in Baltimore this weekend with mook and sahib sing
Two funny comedians, I just saw mook in Chicago and me he was telling hilarious jokes I got a lot of new shit that I'm doing in this Baltimore shows. So we're writing it
See how they go, it's fun. It's a good room
I got like 20 new minutes of material that I've never done. You know, I should do by the way
I actually the hotel that they put you in is pretty nice. But if you they're only giving you one room
You should give it to MOOC and you should get yourself a room with Four Seasons. Oh, I'm staying in it. I'm camping.
Okay.
Because I'm gonna just stay in, I'm just gonna stay in Central PA
and just fish all day and then just drive back to do the shows.
Are you actually camping?
And then I'm gonna come back to my tent after the shows.
No chance.
How funny would that be though?
Doing a show for like a sold out crowd
and then going back to a tent after
Just like can't open about this spam. Yeah, see about this night, but
Having the club manager dropped me off in the woods at a trailhead. This is perfect. This should
This should be good. I'll just forage just screw on like a mining light on the top of your hat.
I am, I think I'm gonna try and fish though.
People say that there's,
cause that's close to some good rivers in PA I believe.
The Khan Shahakin?
I think, I don't know.
The Squeakle?
Someone hit me up and said to try fishing
when I'm in Baltimore.
They said there's good fishing around there,
so I think I might just bring my gear,
just make a weekend out of it.
Might as well.
The Potomac.
Yeah, that's what I'm all about,
just making a weekend out of it.
I'm all about that too.
Probably rent.
I'll come down and chill with you.
Yeah, come down and chill.
It's a pretty small room, it's only a hundred person room.
Perfect, I'm in.
Perfect weekend to work on some new shoes.
New Moocs, a Habe.
Francis, where are you gonna be this weekend?
Somewhere I gotta go out to LA parts unknown. Why are you going out to LA? You got a wedding?
That sucks. That was something cool Indian Indian wedding Indian wedding the big Indian wedding
My big fat Indian wedding. All right. Well, I'm gonna be in Baltimore this weekend. It's a pretty small room, it's only like a hundred people.
I think I'm gonna go try and go fishing when I go out there.
Holy shit, dude.
Thanks for listening.
Classic riff.
We'll see you soon.
Thank you for listening, we'll see you guys Thursday.
Goodbye.