Son of a Boy Dad - Last Dance | Son of a Boy Dad #241

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Last Dance | Son of a Boy Dad #241 -- Ad: Head to https://DrinkCann.com and use code SON30 for 30% off your order of Cann and get free shipping. -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofabo...ydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. We got. for use or purchase by persons under 21. Can products contain less than 0.3 delta 9 THC that is derived from hemp? Do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease and have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. So you know it's good.
Starting point is 00:00:36 All righty, welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today it is October 9th, around 2.30 in the afternoon. I'll tell you what. We're here live from HQ3. I'll tell you what, I got a good feeling about today. Hell yeah. I got a good feeling about today's episode. Why?
Starting point is 00:00:58 I just got a bad feeling about today's episode. I think this is gonna be a cooker. Oh, we'll see. Big time. This is gonna be an absolute London broil. It's a cooker with a hard ER. Slow, slow and low and slow smoked brisket baby back ribs. Mm. That's a lot of different things.
Starting point is 00:01:16 For me, it's gonna be a, it's gonna be like a beef Wellington. Ooh. Meaty on the inside with a crispy flaky dough on the outside. Impossible to cook unless you're master chef Make my mouth. I just made one last night Even better you grow is that run nothing that weed yeah sick Why would you dox me like that bro? She's curious. You know my grandma listens to this from heaven You know she's in the room with us right now watching and I know you're back on the khajiish I
Starting point is 00:01:53 Just have this around just as like just in case someone else needs some khajit Just in case someone back on the Khabib Nurmagomedov. I want the Nurmagomedov Why do you need some no no no? I'm kidding, it's a regular thing. Did you see that the... Flagrant 2 had Trump on? I did, yeah, I just saw that. Does that mean we're... Like, how far are we from getting him on?
Starting point is 00:02:13 So unbelievably far. Yeah. The difference between this podcast and Flagrant 2 is about one million listeners an episode. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! So incredibly far. We have one million and they have two. It's the same stratosphere.
Starting point is 00:02:34 We have about a hundred thousand and they have about a million more than that. Let's do this. Let's try to get the next presidential election. We want to be in the hut. We could probably get like Waltz on. No. We could probably get Jill Stein on. Jill Stein? Isn't she running?
Starting point is 00:02:52 She's like the fourth party candidate. Not even like not even the Green Party. I don't keep track of those people. You get that dude that's always on my Twitter feed doing ads with Tim Cain. Is that a person? Yeah. Yeah, we get him on All the every I just keep opening up Twitter and he's like bad news guys. We fell short of our donation goal You know, it's you know
Starting point is 00:03:14 What's crazy is to see political ads on TV when you're traveling around the country and how different the tones are and the messaging are For that part of the country. Oh really? Yeah the tones are and the messaging are for that part of the country. Oh, really? Yeah. They, uh, the one in New York is crazy. They're like, they're like, Kamala Harris, that's the one. Yeah. I saw that one.
Starting point is 00:03:34 I watch football all the time. It's kind of a heater, to be honest. I can't believe it. They use the clip of her being like, and they cut around to make it choppy, but she's like, I will ensure that every trans person has a penis or every prisoner. Prisoner. So it feels like an AI generated thing where they typed into chat, GPT, chat,
Starting point is 00:03:56 GPT, GPT convince a liberal to vote for Trump. Dude, it fired me up. Cause then they, then Trump goes, uh, it was Kamala Harris cares about they them's Trump cares about you. Yeah It's amazing. It's a room shaker every time it doesn't matter if it's your first or 15th time here in that every time I see it I like pause what I'm doing and it's a stand-up and they like purposefully put it during Sports football. Yeah, it's like it's no and baseball all the baseball playoffs like it they'll play it during sports. Football, yeah, it's only on football. No, and baseball. All the baseball playoffs.
Starting point is 00:04:27 They'll play it five times a week. It's that, they have crazy immigration ones. Yeah. We're getting close, guys. We're getting real close to the election. That'll be fun. Should we do a watch party? Yes. Or Durves. You can make your famous Beef Wellington.
Starting point is 00:04:43 I'll make my Wellington. Well well I'll make that regardless, but we don't have to do it for the election. He makes his beef wellington prison style with like fermented- I don't like my wellington to be political. I try to keep politics out of cooking. Well why don't we just put ourselves in like a padded room and just eat beef wellington on the night of the election
Starting point is 00:04:59 blissfully unaware of what's happening in the world around us. You know what I've learned? I gotta sit up. I can't, I can't lounge. This fucking couch doesn't give me any backing at all. You need to have one of those old school things that they had at my grandmother's house,
Starting point is 00:05:13 God rest your sweet soul, that would kinda go around you like this. Pick your ass up. What's funny about that, bro? I'm gonna do what girls do when you're watching a movie with them and they don't wanna get fingered. I like that. I like that move.
Starting point is 00:05:24 It's nice. Sitting on my own feet. You literally tuck your vagina into your body like it retracts in. This is the universal sign for don't finger me right now. You have four different limbs in line to defense of your vagina right now. Unfingerable.
Starting point is 00:05:41 I can't remember the last time I fingered someone in this position. Let me try. Ooh, see what I mean? Straight into the roll-ups. Oh, this is, yeah. Good fingering technique, though. Yeah, coming in hot.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Like a spade into a garden. Like you're picking up a piece of pie with your hands. Yeah. Yeah, two pieces of pizza at once, fingering technique. Here comes the airplane. Shark in the water. Whoa. Oh my God. Dude, I'm listening to a book on tape right now, or whatever fucking audiobook, and the first three chapters were fine. And then after three chapters, they just stopped editing it. And I keep on hearing the guy fuck up.
Starting point is 00:06:30 And at first he would just like sniffle or cough a little bit and they would redo it. And now he like, the guy is losing his shit spazzing every time he makes a mistake. I've never even heard of this. I never had seen anything like this. I just listened to an audio book and this guy's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anytime he goes about. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:06:50 He's like, damn it! Really? Damn it. I cannot believe that this all made it through. And I'm not even listening for the- Where are you listening to it on? Spotify. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:07:00 It's on Spotify. Is it a Spotify audio book or is it like a podcast? It's a Spotify audio book. That's crazy. The first three chapters or however long, first third of the book was perfect. None of it, there were no mistakes. And then slowly there are mistakes.
Starting point is 00:07:15 And now this guy is fully spazzing out in the middle of the book. Probably got their funding pulled halfway through. Sounds like it. That's what it sounds like to me. Yeah, it's so exciting to read. You think that would be a shitty job to have to read audio books's so exciting to read. You think that would be a shitty job to have to read audiobooks for a living?
Starting point is 00:07:27 No, I think that'd be a great job. And my acting teacher in college told me that that was what I should do with my life. Was just read audiobooks? He was like, you have a great voice for audiobooks. What do you do? You think you just bang it out in one sitting? I don't know what I do. No way.
Starting point is 00:07:40 No? No, because this guy, he has like different voices on different dates. You could tell he's like normal on some days, and this day he's been losing his shit. His wife must have cheated on him this day, because he cannot keep his shit together. But like the Rise and Fall of the Third Reich,
Starting point is 00:07:54 it's a 58 hour audio book. How long do you think it takes them to record? A month. That's a long time, yeah. At least, because you're messing up. Maybe you read five hours a day. How many did you say it was? 58. Yeah, that's because you're messing up. Maybe you read five hours a day. How many you say was 58? Hmm. Yeah, it's taking a month five hours a day seems long. Probably only four hours. Yeah, that's so much reading
Starting point is 00:08:13 Yeah, you probably start getting strained in the vocal cords to Talking you find the flow five hours straight you find the flow I always prided myself big time pr myself, on an English class in high school when they would ask us to read certain passages of the short story collection out loud. I would not fumble a single word. I made sure to do that. And then when they would pass it on to the next kid
Starting point is 00:08:36 and that kid would stumble or use their finger to follow along, I'd be like this fucking retard. Yeah. You know? I have like fucking PTSD flashbacks to in Spanish when we would have to do, they would like do the popcorn reading and then it would get to me and we'd have to read it in English but translate it
Starting point is 00:08:55 and I wouldn't know any of the words. So then the teacher, instead of being like, I will just move on to the next person, I have to stand up, go get the dictionary from the closet and then go and translate it word for word. Like word like. The dictionary closet, they were sending you to the dictionary closet. Yeah, go get the dictionary from the closet, and then go and translate it word for word. The dictionary closet? They were sending you to the dictionary closet? Yeah, like get the dictionary, find the one word,
Starting point is 00:09:11 flip, flip, flip, flip, find another word for like 10 minutes. They wouldn't help you? No. They wouldn't prompt you? No. Hmm. And that was like every class. That's all we did was just do the homework and then translate it.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Do you think you'll ever go back and get your college degree? Absolutely not. Why not? Why would I do that? I don't know if this comedy thing doesn't pan out. Well, it's going to pan out. Well, if it doesn't, and then you're like, wow, I'm only able to get very menial labor jobs.
Starting point is 00:09:40 I just do labor jobs. I'm not going back to college. I keep applying for higher up positions and they say, what's your work history? And you say, I worked one day a week at Barstool Sports for 14 years. Worst case scenario for me, I'll just get a job like doing social media somewhere. Well, but wait, you don't post on social media. Yeah, but I can.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Like, I clearly know how to do it. You lost it, bro. The kids' post is different now than you used to. No, no. The game has passed you by. I'm still fully in. I just got a 12K tweet the other day. What was it?
Starting point is 00:10:15 Effortless. What was it? Just posted a photo of the people on Fox when the game was getting delayed. And I said, cancel the game, give me four more hours of this crew. You're a political grifter now. No, that's how it's at politics.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Just like, uh. That's a heater. People loved that tweet. No, it's a DEI thing. That was like a relatable, timely tweet. No, it's grifting. It was great, it was a banger. 12,000 likes on a topical?
Starting point is 00:10:37 12,000 likes in something that didn't even exist after the game started. No one even would have met. You're still riding that wave of virality you built when you were in kindergarten or whatever. In kindergarten, you were getting 100,000 likes. And you said, I don't like this anymore, it's not rewarding because it's too easy.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Yes. So when you throw out that crowd, that kind of grew up with you when you were that young, they were all out there waiting. No. And they don't even look at the tweet. They just say, oh my God, he's back. Like, like, like. They've moved on to different accounts.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I don't know if I believe that. Because most of my tweets don't pop off anymore. Also, do you know what the people who get hired to do social media for major brands or marketing firms or things like that, you know what they have? What? Melanin. Melanin.
Starting point is 00:11:21 College degrees. Oh, Dan. No. Yeah. How many people here run socials and how many of them have college degrees? I bet you most of the people that work here have college degrees. Do you think if I went to Dave and I was like, I don't want to work in what's it called anymore. I want to run socials. You think he would let me? No. And I can tell you why. Why? Because when I was talking about coming back, I thought I was going to come back and be
Starting point is 00:11:46 an editor. And he was like, I don't want to. What? Oh, like the blog, edit blog. Which meant like video editing? No, no, no, no. Writing editor. And he was like, I don't want you to do that.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I want you to write. Yeah, it would have been a waste of your time. Yeah, but I haven't written a blog in weeks. But yeah, that's because editing doesn't make the blog do better, it just makes it read better. Or you could make it funnier. I felt that I would be able to help people with syntax and punch ups and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Yeah, that makes sense. But I think Dave likes the lack of syntax. I think that he wants to misspell it. Dude, if you gave me one NFL Sunday to run the Barstool main page, they would gain two million followers in one day? We should experiment with that. I think that's a fun thing.
Starting point is 00:12:29 One NFL Sunday? One NFL Sunday, two million followers? Why don't you just spaz on our account for one Sunday? You should do what- Because our account doesn't have two million followers. Yeah, but I'm saying- I need a steady baseline to work with. You should just go crazy with one of our accounts.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Just boost it. That's how part of my takes account grew. It was just Big Cat and Hank just dumping shit out into the ether on the first NFL Sundays. That should be and could be you. We're week six. What? I said we're week six. Everybody's just getting off a buy.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Bro. It's funny. Not everyone's getting off a buy. It would be funny if you did to the Barstool main account what, who's the receiver with CTE? Antonio Brown. Antonio Brown's guy is doing for his account. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Just do an N-word of the day. Yeah. For the Barstool account. It is crazy to me that people, I think it was kind of exposed that he doesn't write his own tweets But Pete there's still people that were like people were like Like shocked when they found out that Antonio Brown's not just sitting on Twitter for 10 hours a day
Starting point is 00:13:33 Posting photos of random people whoever he hired. He got a fucking workhorse Really? You don't like the guy that he hired. It's perfect for Antonio Brown's voice. I muted Antonio Brown. Yeah, but it's perfect. It's like matches his obnoxiousness perfectly. Yeah, I guess. I guess that's true. It worked out. I think you should try, I mean there's- What's even the point though?
Starting point is 00:13:54 You just run from the grind. What does that do for Antonio Brown? It's funny. Keeps rolling. Yeah, but it is. I guess, yeah. But like, what is he gonna do with it? I don't know, probably whip his dick out in Dubai true That was legendary. I thought he was gonna become a rapper. Yeah, it's a great video
Starting point is 00:14:11 I think everybody wants to become a rapper, but wasn't that his whole thing when he walked off the Bucks Or what team was he on when he walked off the Jets or the Bucks or the Bucks were playing the Jets Yeah, something like that and he was and he was like he was like I'm dropping my album tonight And then nothing ever happened with it. Did Deon Sanders, was he a singer or a rapper? He had a rap song. It was rap? Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:33 But I think that he had broad singing. He had N squared, B squared singing. No nonsense, black broad singing, must be the money. It was fucking... And he was really cool looking. He had a jerry curl. Do you guys know what a jerry curl is? No.
Starting point is 00:14:50 It's like a... A permed style of very curly hair. In... Coming to America, did you ever watch that movie? They all have jerry curls and they like lean up against the wall and they like stand up and there's just grease stains on the wall. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:06 It's like your hair's permanently wet. There's a guy with a toothpick. Oh, I know. I know the haircut now. And he's got his leather coat slung over his shoulder and he's holding it with two fingers. Yeah, I'm familiar. And a sweet ass jerry curl.
Starting point is 00:15:17 I can picture the jerry curl in my head. You should get a jerry curl. Instead of buzzing at your next midlife crisis, you should just come in with a sweet jerry curl. Just greased up. I think the White Brothers had jerry curls for a little bit. Really? I think, I don't know, White Guy jerry curl. I think like, Hall and Oates or Jack Harlow
Starting point is 00:15:36 were one of those fucking cool White Guys had a jerry curl. Do you guys, have you watched this Menendez Brothers show? No. I'm aware of it. I watched a show that was made about them a while ago. There was a documentary made about them, but now there's a show. I believe there was a show as well. I don't know the story of the Menendez Brothers.
Starting point is 00:15:55 I've missed this. Well, the one right now is not very accurate, because it's Ryan Murphy, and he made them like in love in the show. With each other? What are they? What did they do? They kill people? They killed their parents.
Starting point is 00:16:07 They killed their parents because their parents raped them. What? Yeah. Whoa bro. If I learn one thing from having, hearing Andrew Schultz talk to Donald Trump is that you bleep out the word rape.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Oh really? Yeah, they bleep that. They let him say everything and then they just started bleeping out when he kept on talking about rape. The Menendez words. Menendez rape rape rape. Oh Yeah, it was a season of law and order the Menendez brothers the Menendez murders I watched that a while ago. That sounds interesting and that was good. But this one
Starting point is 00:16:37 Yeah, it's Ryan Murphy who did American Horror Story and he did the Dahmer show But I guess he's like known for like like making like making like, making, like, making, like, a normal story. Well, it's not a normal story, but taking a story and making it, like, even more weird. Did you guys, um, watch that show with Kristen Bell and Adam Cohen, Adam Brody? Yeah. What was the show?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Seth Cohen from the OC. I think it's called Say No More or Please Stop This or something. No, I don't think so. I'm aware of it, but that's just because I was on Chicks in the Office this week. Boy, it is a great show. Yeah, I saw you on that. How was that? It was good, but we talked about both of these shows on Chicks in the Office. We are very aligned with Chicks in the Office.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Nobody wants this. That show is excellent. It's really fun. Chicks in the Office? Well, sure. But also nobody wants this. Really? What's it about? It's about a good looking rabbi, a young, cool, hot rabbi who meets a non-Jewish woman, a shiksa, as they say in the show. And the two of them start to date and it's very frowned upon by his congregation and his family. But isn't it about a podcaster? She's a podcaster.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's a podcaster that fucks a rabbi. Interesting. Very modern. Dating and sex positive podcaster. They make a reference to Call Her Daddy. And hers is a $60 million contract. Correct. Do they really?
Starting point is 00:17:59 Yeah. We talked about this on Chicks in the Office. Like $120 million. She goes, I don't want to just be a derivative of Call Her Daddy. And then her sister goes, oh yeah, who would ever want to make a $60 million contract or something like that? Damn. Well, I mean, the real inside podcasting note would have been
Starting point is 00:18:17 being a derivative of Guys We Fucked. That was the godfather of Call Her Daddy. Was it, no? Don't you think? They were our first. They were. They were. And but I just don't I have no idea which was there not one. Maybe there was. Was there not one.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Whose guys we fucked. That's Corinne and Christina. Corinne and Fisher. Yeah. And they were fucking guys. Is that podcast big? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I didn't know that. It was the first time anyone had ever talked about sex. Publicly? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. It was the first time anyone had ever talked about sex. Publicly. Yeah, publicly. They were like the beatniks of the podcasting world. Yeah. For in fissures often compared to Jack Kerouac. Sex positive. Sex positive females. I respect the hell out of it.
Starting point is 00:19:02 I like those girls. I did their show. You fucked them? Guys, we fucked. Sex positive, sex positive females. I respect the hell out of it. I like those girls. I did their show. Um... You fucked them? Guys we fucked. No, at this point, they are having people on... Did you talk about the guys that you fucked? Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Fuck. Oh, gosh. We're getting demonetized hard on this one. Between the R word, the R slur... Just busting balls. Hitting for the cycle here. Hairball, it's good to see you in your Sunday's finest. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Well, I had to. Drake May is starting on Sunday. For a guy who put up such a fucking pout about buying those black Sambas, you seem to have embraced them. I hate them. I fucking hate them. You wear them every single day.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I don't have other shoes. Day! Dude, dude, I don't have other shoes. Dude, you have access to other shoes. I have my new balances, but I don't really fuck with those either. I don't like any of the shoes that I have right now. Well, why don't you just get other ones? You literally live in one of the biggest shoe cities in the fucking world. We're going to buy shoes in New York City.
Starting point is 00:20:03 It's like you're never going to find... Then order them online. You'll never be able to find just like a normal pair of Converse. They're going to be like Supreme Collab Converse that costs like $8,000. You don't have to go to Flight Club. I'm pretty sure you could just go to fucking Foot Locker. Yeah. Any of the 400 locations.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Is there a Foot Locker around here? Yes. Where Times Square... 34th Street. Forty what? Forty... 34th Street. Yeah, that's a big one. 34th? Big. 34th. 34th Street. Yeah, that's a big one. 34th.
Starting point is 00:20:25 34th. 34th Street. Like Penn Station? Yeah, but it's on the avenue, yeah. Please. It's by the Macy's. Skip. It's by the Macy's. I have been to that Macy's.
Starting point is 00:20:36 It's a good Macy's. It's a great, it's all time Macy's. I bought a suit there. My other grandmother, God rest her sweet soul, used to fucking shop there every Christmas. I remember. The wooden escalators that you go up. Oh, it's cool. I don't know if I recall that.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Wooden escalators? Is there a scene in Home Alone? I believe so. Where he goes there? I think. Is that that Macy's? He's probably running up a tab, that rascal. If I know him, I think I do. He is doing something outlandish in that Macy's.
Starting point is 00:21:03 What is that? What is it? Crack? What is it? I don't know bro. Is it squishy? Or is it hard? A little. Let me see it. It looks like a crazy bone.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I think it's crack. Let me see it. Just because you put a million dollars worth of game was in here, you think they left some squishy crack behind? I mean there's blonde wraps everywhere. I don't know if they're leaving crack behind too. Oh, it is very squishy. What the fuck is this? Did you guys like plant this here? Who? No man. Doesn't it look like it would taste really good? It looks like a mystery flavor.
Starting point is 00:21:51 I know right? Like one of those white airheads or the white game raid. Could be anything. If it's a mystery it's definitely cherry. The white's always cherry. It's always cherry. Sometimes it was blue raspberry. Really?
Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah. When? Give me an example of when it was blue raspberry. Really? Yeah. When? Give me an example of when it was blue raspberry. Well, it's a mystery. I don't know, man. He didn't take notes of it. Forty years ago it was. They were doing mystery flavors 40 years ago?
Starting point is 00:22:16 I remember when I was in middle school, they started doing mystery flavors, and one time I tasted the white and I thought to myself, that's blue raspberry. It was cherry. Well, I knew it was blue raspberry because my mouth turned blue. Also white one?
Starting point is 00:22:29 That doesn't make sense. That sounds like you had some sort of allergic reaction. No. A salt situation. They worked in the after effect. Or Beauregard. It was all very cloak and dagger. That's pretty advanced technology for 30 years ago.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Are you more of a cloak or a dagger? Dagger, easily. Yeah. Shout out to my Jamaicans. I love to dagger. You know, daggering is like dancing. Yeah. I love daggering.
Starting point is 00:22:52 I watch those videos all the time. I'm trying to get into some daggering in Rochester this weekend. Did you ever see those videos where people will like, uh, put a bunch of drinks in a cardboard box, take a sip of everyone. Yeah. And they diagnose them, whether it's a bunch of different beers or Pepsi box, take a sip of every one, and they diagnosed them, whether it's a bunch of different beers or Pepsi Coke. Or the Diet Cokes.
Starting point is 00:23:09 I saw football players doing it with flavored Gatorade, and they were getting every one of them wrong. Yeah, I saw that too. Did you see the dude who was trying to hunt down the- Was it the Bills? It might have been. I think it was the Bills, they're always doing shit like that.
Starting point is 00:23:21 It was infuriating. I saw one where- But there was the last dude got all of them with zero- Yeah, because the flavors are always doing shit like that. It was infuriating. I saw one where- But there was the last dude got all of them with zero taste. Yeah, because the flavors are so fucking obvious. That's like biting into an apple and being like, I don't know, this could be a banana.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I saw one where there was this girl who did it with Diet Coke and it was fountain soda, can, bottle. No, but it was even deeper than that. It was like McDonald's fountain, Chick-fil-A fountain. She nailed it. She got those. She got those, yeah. She, all right. You got like she got the difference between fucking Burger King and Chick-fil-A fat and soda That is a crackhead. Yeah, that's what that's an addict in like a in a very negative way. That shit is not okay Can I have that please? Yeah, have you seen the video of that guy?
Starting point is 00:24:00 Who's like a soda addict and he has like Frank a garage? No, Frank's off the stuff and honestly it's made his personality much much worse boring at the Mets games he's just yeah winner-lose we're just here to have some fun I was confused by they said it was his first Mets playoff game yeah haven't they been in the playoffs like two years ago they were but he wasn't allowed to go why stream? Because streams grow. Because streams grow. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:24:28 He's cursed Big Cat's name ever since then. So he went? Yes. And it's looking like they're kind of running away with it. I mean, they're up one game. It was a blowout. Yeah, they're up one game. Are they playing it tonight?
Starting point is 00:24:40 Yeah, this afternoon. I'm enjoying this series. Come to the stream. Sit in Frank's seat. He won't mind. I think that would be... I'd be just a... I'm not a big fan. They'd run me out of town.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Who gives a fuck? They'd just know that I was there for my own personal... Oh, no. The fucking cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is gonna be mad at you if you fucking run in on a Met Stream. It's not so much them. It's more the viewers that I worry about. Oh, no. The five people watching are gonna fucking run in on a Met Stream. It's not so much them, it's more the viewers that I worry about. Oh, no, the five people watching are gonna fucking run you out of town.
Starting point is 00:25:09 I don't like upsetting the people who watch people watch the game. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Yeah. Those are the last people who want to upset the people. I bet you there are people that aren't even watching the game and are just watching people watch the game. Oh, just watching the people? Yeah, I've watched it before. It's not bad.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Well, I watch it while I'm watching the game. I've watched it while I'm watching the game, like, watching people watch the game. Oh, just watching the people? Yeah, I've watched it before. It's not bad. Well, I watch it while I'm watching the game. I've watched it while I'm watching the game, like if it's like a crazy game. Or if it's like something like the playoffs or some shit. I'll jump over when something big happens because there's a delay. You want to see the reaction. Yeah, baseball, I would never watch other people watch baseball.
Starting point is 00:25:42 I can barely watch baseball as it is. This is not what I was hoping it would be. I know. I'm going to give as it is. This is not what I was hoping it would be. I know. I'm gonna give up on it. Yeah. I don't think it's gonna become what I had hoped it would be. No. Okay. I thought it was either a putty or a crack.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I think it's... Do you want it? I already had it. I think it's like a crystallized pre-comb. It does kind of have that texture of like... Pre-comb. Yeah. It has a bit of a pre-cum hue to it. An opaqueness. Is someone pre-jaculating here? A thick...
Starting point is 00:26:12 Someone pre-ed in here? You know what's better than pre? Who the fuck was pre-ing in our... Post-cum. Post-cum? Yeah. What the hell is post-cum? Just cum. I think post-cum is a thing too. Yeah, when you're like 90. No. You come and then it just keeps coming for like an hour. Catheter. You can't like screw it shut. Yeah, you gotta fucking get a rubber band
Starting point is 00:26:34 and like tighten it around your dick. You gotta cinch off your penis. Be able to flow. Just post coming and then it'll go on for years for some guys. The guy fucks last year. He's still just leaking like a slug, leaving a fucking post cum trail behind him through the hallways.
Starting point is 00:26:52 I think it was Nick Coletti made a vine a while ago of, well I guess it was a long time ago, of like an old dude coming and he was like, and then it panned down to his pants and it was just a Febreze bottle spraying It's respectable as hell banger you got to get his ass back in the fucking studio. I know I wonder if he's come yet He was on the heavy retention. Oh, yeah, he was on a retention back then. I forgot about that Which isn't great for your sperm is that so I was I was told that the retention group is is much more forgiving than the Than nofap. I mean did you see Jeff Nadeau posting that someone asked Jeff Nadeau What his favorite porn genre was and he's like I gave up porn a year ago and now it disgusts me
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, that's always the people people that are like super anti porn You're projecting because you're addicted to porn. I'm disgusted by a hot-ass naked woman Yeah, that's always the people people that are like super anti porn I'm disgusted by a hot-ass naked woman Yeah, but that's like a whole genre of dude now Yeah dudes that are like they they don't watch porn and if they find out someone watches porn They're like you're fucked. Where do I stand? This is me. I haven't given up porn I don't watch it very regularly, but when I do I only watch one scene or it's the same scene over and over Yeah, you said that the other day. Did I what do you mean? You only have one you talk to me You're cranking down. There's really only one scene that I watch
Starting point is 00:28:15 What is it? It's a girl. What's her name? Genevieve Jolie With a J familiar with her work with With a GJ or? She's old school. GG or JJ? What do you have it on tape? You gotta pop it into the VCR? I've. Dust it off.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I got it on a, I downloaded it straight to my computer. Downloading porn is crazy. It's on there. That's like a thing on Pornhub. There's a download button. I like watching it when I have no internet access just in case I find myself on a long flight. On a plane.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Yeah. You count up your Skittles, build a wall of colored M&Ms. Just in case you gotta squeeze one out in the Delta Lounge. He's just got a flip book of the porn and he has to go back and forth between, what just happened, did that just break? Yeah. There should be a-
Starting point is 00:29:02 They're building a Delta One Lounge in LAX. It's gonna be open in a couple weeks. Yeah, well now, we talked about that too. Have you been to the Delta One lounge in JFK? No. You haven't been yet? No, I've only flown Delta One like twice. Bruh.
Starting point is 00:29:15 You haven't lived, bro. Ever go to a restaurant where you can order stuff, but you don't have to pay for it, it's all free? No, I don't think so. They have that there. Except for I didn't go in the Delta 1 entrance. Oh, that's a big part of it. I should have.
Starting point is 00:29:29 I didn't even put two and two together that I could just skip, I mean. LAX's Delta 1 entrance is very hidden. It's under the terminal. You have to go in, but once you get in, you get your own security line. Really? And you get, yeah, and then you go straight into the lounge.
Starting point is 00:29:43 It's awesome. That's the lounge. It's awesome. That's pretty huge. It's so cool. I'm flying first tomorrow to Rochester. Atta boy. Cost a pretty penny. No, it did not. It cost like a hundred dollars.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Round trip. Yeah. There's no way that that's actually a nice, I'm coming home at fucking five in the morning on Sunday. Oh, really? For ball. Yeah. You got to get back for ball. Well, I got to be back for Drake May's start, get the jersey on Sunday. Oh, really? For ball. Yeah. You gotta get back for ball. Well, I gotta be back for Drake May's start,
Starting point is 00:30:06 get the jersey on. Do you have it yet? Yeah. Are you serious? I got it the day they drafted him. You gotta have Jones in a May? Yeah. Same number too. So they get all, often they get confused.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Sometimes I'll have, sometimes I won't even know I'll have the Jones on. You'll put on the Jones by accident? Ripping off. What the fuck is this? What the fuck? You start trying to fight your reflection. The fuck are you, bro?
Starting point is 00:30:29 Some guys in my house. You call the cops on yourself? Someone's in the fucking house. Some other, I would never be caught dead wearing that. Francis, we're playing each other in fantasy this week. Are we? Yeah. My team's falling off. Yeah, it's not gonna look good for you. I don't know if you guys saw, I had the most points in the league by 25 points this week. Are we? Yeah. My team's falling off. Yeah, it's not going to look good for you.
Starting point is 00:30:45 I don't know if you guys saw, I had the most points in the league by 25 points this week. I don't know how to do anything. I don't know. Nobody's advising me anymore. So I'm just in the woods watching my guys get injured. What are you expecting? People are going to sit down with you and be like, let's go through your roster? Well, I've got, you know, guys on the PUP, guys on the IR.
Starting point is 00:31:01 I don't know who's coming back when. I don't even know who's... Brother, you got to be Googling. I need you on fantasy Reddit, I don't know who's coming back when. I don't even know who's... Brother, you gotta be Googling. I need you on fantasy Reddit, everything. No. Yes. Well, he has McCaffrey. So he's gonna be a second half of the season guy
Starting point is 00:31:14 when McCaffrey gets back. When is Christian coming back? That's fun. That's fun. And you think that McCaffrey's coming back ever? Well, he is Mason too. Dude, both of his legs are broken in like 800 different spots. Chris's legs are broken.
Starting point is 00:31:24 They're jello. Chrissy? Chris McCaffrey? Chaos? His legs are broken. Chrissy Mack? Yeah. Get out of here. No, he has tendonitis in both of his legs. Right? Is that what it was? Yeah, I don't even know what tendonitis is. I think it's just when you like fuck up your tendons. Oh, yeah. Okay, well. I had tendonitis in my arm. And what happened? Nothing. I just did not use it for like a year. Really? Yeah I've talked about this a thousand times. I know. I did the pull ups. Yeah I was doing pull ups and my arm exploded. Swelled up to a... There was an egg growing off the side of my arm. I love doing pull ups.
Starting point is 00:32:00 And I went to the doctor a thousand times. You're gonna hit him today. You are? Big time. Wow. 50? Uh, I don't know. Five sets of 10? I'm not really in the 50 range right now. Really? 50 over four sets.
Starting point is 00:32:12 But you could've fooled me. I've just been out of the game. I've been out of the game. And I need a bar that is far enough off the ground that I have to jump to get it. Why? Tyler and Owen are making roster moves as we speak. So that I don't have to bend my knees on the down.
Starting point is 00:32:28 I'm getting notifications that Tyler and Owen are currently dropping and picking up people. See, there you go. That's an advantage. I lost my one, like a half a point to Nick this past week. It's infuriating. I know I saw, I looked at everyone's, at everyone's matchups. Cause I, dude, I've had a great fucking game. Great week.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Yeah. 25 points. I'm sure they give out trophies for having a good game week five. I mean, I'm just saying like my, the bounce back is happening. We'll see after this week. Once fellas beat your ass. Just picked up the bucks defense. Easy extra couple points. All right guys, let's take a second and talk about Can. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Say hi to H-I-G-H to Can social tonics. Can social tonics spikes their seltzer with a weed. Each can is blended with five simple clean ingredients to deliver the perfect buzz and a buzz that does not backfire. Can comes in three award winning flavors. Blood orange cardamom, lemon lavender, and grapefruit rosemary. That's my favorite, the grapefruit rosemary. I had that last night.
Starting point is 00:33:31 It's so good. And the high is mild. Gentle, super gentle. Comes on gradually. Came over me like a sweet wind over a bank of violets. It feels like getting tucked in. Uh, can comes in a variety of different doses for every drink, ranging from two milligrams to five milligrams of THC.
Starting point is 00:33:53 I love can. I got a sixer at my desk and a sixer in my fridge. Mm-hmm. If you know what I mean. I know what you mean. I mean what I say. So head on to drinkcan.com. Dude, I was playing chess on the chess app. Yeah. And my name on the chess app is FLS16.
Starting point is 00:34:10 And... Doxed. Within one minute, someone goes, I'm playing someone, and they go, you can message people on there, and the guy goes, Francis? Really? And I didn't respond, because it's kind of embarrassing and
Starting point is 00:34:25 personal. I think that someone's ability in chess is a real reflection of their intelligence. The odds of that happening to you are like one in a true, like I get paired up with people from like Kenya every time I play. It's people from China, which by the way, I care far more about beating people from China. Yeah. Cool. So that's you got the pride of the state sponsor. Yeah, exactly. It feels patriotic. Yeah, it is. It's like the yeah. Cool. Well, that's you got the pride of the states. Yeah, exactly. It feels patriotic. Yeah, it is. It's like the Olympics. It's also, it's like the space race too, or it's like, like trying to get the first bomb out
Starting point is 00:34:53 or something. Yeah. Like there's, it shows our intelligence as a country. And I'm, I'm okay at chess, I'm not great. And the guy- What are you, what are you ranked? You're like in, you're like a thousand, right? He's like a grand master. I don't know what I am on the regular. I play the five minute games a lot now.
Starting point is 00:35:09 And right now I'm like a 400 something. Ooh. Yeah, but I don't know what like... That's not very good. I don't know if it's the same scale for the five minute games. It must not be. Because when we were in Denver, you were in the thousands. You were like 1200.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, I think so. Because Matt was like 900 and we were like, Matt's the best. Yeah. How's the ranking work? I don't know. You were like 1200. Yeah, I think it was Matt was like 900 and we were like Matt's the best Yeah, how's the ranking work? It's just points you get points for higher scores. I'm like I'm like you everyone starts at a thousand So if you just play someone who's just downloaded the app, they're not and you know, they're not settled with their score yet anyway, the point is that I This guy then after a couple moves he goes, let's see if that Harvard degree actually works.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Damn! And then I was like, oh my god, and I'm not responding to him. And I'm taking a little too much time on a move, and he goes, slow poke. Oh man! And he was just burying me. Did he beat you?
Starting point is 00:36:00 Well, I was beating him pretty easily, but I ran out of time, so I lost. So he beat you. But I was beating him pretty easily, but I ran out of time So he beat you but I was dominating him in pieces. Yeah, but you ran that time doesn't matter, correct? Yeah, if I'd had an extra minute, I would have he was right. I was being too slow. That's crazy, dude I only have one person messaged me once and it was like some dude from like Uganda and I just downloaded the app and I Sasquatch made like my first two moves. Is that you? He DMed me and said, you are trash. And then I have it.
Starting point is 00:36:30 I've played like once since then. Dude, the most cocky thing I ever saw on the chess app was that within like two moves, someone offered me a draw and I turned it down. I was like, only our pawns are out. And then a move later he goes, you should have taken the draw. Oh no. And then he beat me and he wrote, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And then I wrote back, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit. But by that time he'd exited out of the game.
Starting point is 00:36:59 And by the way, what I said was actually way worse than what I just said. I used words that you're not supposed to say. Yeah. On podcasts. Well, that's just, that's the chess culture. It's the kind of stuff that Trump would say on Andrew Schultz's podcast. On Andrew Schultz's podcast? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Some nasty, bleep-bleep. Do you think we're closer to get Andrew, closer to getting Andrew Schultz on our podcast or Donald Trump? Trump. You think we have a better chance of getting Trump than Schultz? Well, when was the last time Trump was, Trump did Portnoy? Yeah. Schultz did KFC. True. So it's like basically we're right in between the two of them. Two roads diverged in the yellow wood. It could really, it's really a coin toss. Let's reach out to both. See what happens.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Well, I think we're also pretty close to having mom on. Really? Well, I mean, she was on... Oh, that would be fun. She was on Call Her Daddy. She was on Daddy. Yeah. She was? Yeah, she was slutting it out on Call Her Daddy. She just did Call Her Daddy.
Starting point is 00:37:53 You didn't know this? No, that's cool. Mama did Daddy. Fucking... It's pretty crazy how, like... It's cool that they're doing podcasts. I think that it's cool that both of the candidates are doing podcasts. Trump also did Shapiro.
Starting point is 00:38:05 I heard Trump's... Oh, really? Ben Shapiro. That's a good one. That's just making the rounds though. Logan won't have anyone on, huh? Any actual presidential candidates? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:38:16 I don't think he wants to have Trump on. Mr. Trump said some nasty stuff about him, I think. Yeah, I think Trump hates him. What? Yeah. Why? Because I think he mildly criticized him one time. Huh.
Starting point is 00:38:31 You'd think that they'd be in lockstep. And then they like, some news network clipped something together of it making it look like Rogan endorsed Kamala. Yeah, it was probably MSDNC. I think it was. And then I think Rogan threatened to sue them, and then they deleted it. That was a new one I heard of using MSDNC.
Starting point is 00:38:54 It's pretty good. It's damn good. What's MSDNC? It's usually MSNBC, but DNC is the name. I say DNC. Yeah. I didn't want to have to make you drink on that one But that one's fun trying to lead you to water on that dude
Starting point is 00:39:08 I had a sick fucking Brooklyn night two nights ago. Hell yeah, I went to a place called the bossa nova Have you ever been to that club? You know, you know wait, you're way cooler than I am That's not true at all. But I went to some fucking club on Monday night. Damn And it was like being dropped in a movie from like the late 70s. It was just like, dudes were walking around the club with their skateboards. I'd never seen that before.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Dudes had skateboards in the club. And it was like people with like leather jackets and like white guys with perms and shit like that. That was like when I did Adam Friedland's show. Remember you came to that? Yeah, yeah. Everyone in the crowd just had a skateboard in their lap. like that. That was like when I did Adam Friedland's show. Remember you came to that? Yeah, yeah. And everyone in the crowd just had a skateboard in their lap. Love that.
Starting point is 00:39:47 And I was like, this is not going to go well for me. Keep telling more of that story. Let's see Ron. It was sick. It actually is a funny story that me and Ron did together. You guys both did that show? Yes. We were there together.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I did five. I did a tight five. They were like, you're fucking great. Do you want a permanent spot at Funny Moms? I said, no, I can't. It doesn't great. Do you want a permanent spot at Funny Moms? I said, no, I can't. It doesn't fit in my schedule. But it was like at this club, people were dancing
Starting point is 00:40:10 the way that you see them dancing it like in a 70s music video where everybody's just alone kind of dancing to themselves, hitting some sick moves. Like when you go to the club in GTA. It was exactly like that. Just everybody hitting the underwater, like doing the swim and shit like that. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:40:29 But it started off, like I knew I was going to have a nice, fun night bouncing around. And I went to a friend's apartment in Brooklyn in Bushwick. And he is living the most Brooklyn lifestyle possible. He's paying $200 a month in rent to stay with his friend who's a gay dude. He is not gay and he's sharing a bed with this gay dude.
Starting point is 00:40:54 What? I went over to his house. Sounds like he's a gay dude. I don't think he's a gay, well he's paying. Think he is. Well then he's paying to- He's paying to sleep in the gay dude's bed. Yes, he's paying to sleep in the gay dude's bed. He's literally a gay dude and he's having a gay prostitute.
Starting point is 00:41:09 He's living with a gay prostitute. But if this guy's a gay prostitute, he's paying to be the prostitute. My friend is paying to be a gay prostitute. No, I think your friend is paying for a prostitute and then the prostitutes like you can just crash here, It's fine Yeah, I guess yeah and we went to their apartment he was like you guys have to go like right into this room We went into the room There was nobody in the living room But we had to be like really quiet in the bedroom where he sleeps with this other He was like I have frangelico he poured us fucking shots of a nutty liqueur. One of the other dudes I was with was like,
Starting point is 00:41:48 can I use the bathroom? And he was like, yeah, but are other roommates in there? And he has cerebral palsy. So it's kind of thing. Why? It's just a cerebral palsy roommate. Is he gay too? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:04 He's got gay palsy? He's he gay too? I don't know. He's got gay palsy? He's got gay palsy. Palsy. He's got palsy. I couldn't believe it that he said that there's another roommate with cerebral palsy. I'm surprised you weren't just like, guys, I have $200. Can we just all live here for the night with full privileges?
Starting point is 00:42:20 There was no one else like, yeah, there was no one else. The gay roommate wasn't there. There was nobody in the living room. There was copious space in the living room. He was there. He's probably fucking... With the palsy? Yeah. With the cerebral palsy roommate? Yeah. I couldn't fucking believe it. And then we got into the nitty gritty of, I was like, what are you, so what have you been up to? No, no, not at all. I was like, what have you been up to? And he's like... Lotta blow that night. You don't end up at a gay prostitutes house with his cerebral palsy roommate unless you're doing a lot of drugs. That's like you were doing fucking
Starting point is 00:42:54 ketamine all night or some shit. Bro, ketamine is not even a drug anymore. You get it off Shout out to hims. Shout out to hims. The dude runs the dog mayor elections in New York. He runs the dog mayor elections in New York. So he's unemployed. No, he has a real job. He was showing me. I'm not going to say his real job, but he has a real job. What's his real job, but he has a real job. What's his real job?
Starting point is 00:43:25 He like does like, he works in like for a house. He sells his whole bro. No, he works for hospitals. Yeah. He does like media with hospitals. He runs the, he runs the socials at a hospital. I got to get that job. You would be great at it.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Another death today. RIP. Days without a death. Zero. Cold and flu season. Don't forget your flu shot. Just a bunch of syringe emojis. If you have cerebral palsy, do not do cocaine. It will exacerbate your symptoms. He said that the dog mayor election, someone tried to rig it this year. Really? He was like- He's talking to voter ID. He's basically doing a stop the steal campaign. They have to redo the dog mayor election and put it behind like a private paywall because
Starting point is 00:44:21 it was too close and they legitimately think that the dog mayor election is being fucking robbed. It was the most Brooklyn night that I've ever had in my life. What made you go out, like, partying that night? On a Monday? Yeah. Just felt like it. That's scary to me. A friend, another friend was, a mutual friend was in town. I see, I see.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And your friend really likes... Just get fucking weird tonight. I see, I see. Yeah, and your friend really likes- Let's just get fucking weird tonight. Dogs that have executive positions. Yeah. As well as- What time you get home? Drugs and disabled people. One, one of the teens.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Bruh. On Monday? You outta your mind? Yo, back in the day, I used to go out, those were the nights to go out, Mondays and Tuesdays. Tuesdays, because that was a industry night or something like that. If you ever go to Europe or something like that, and you may come into a phase where you're doing this sort of thing, or Helsinki or Copenhagen even.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Malmo perhaps. Yeah. Let's see. If you're in one of these places for the weekend and you stay through Sunday, Sunday night is the night to go out. Because it's when all the waiters and bartenders and all the locals, they have Monday off and they go out that night and it's really fun. And they want to party big time. Not all the waiters though.
Starting point is 00:45:54 The best waiters though. The good ones. The good ones. The good hot ones. Yeah, the hot ones have Monday off. Because the good hot ones work the weekends. The ugly ones work Monday night. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:46:03 Those always book Monday night. I used to only go out's right. I was always booked Monday night. I used to only go out on Monday. I would go on Monday through Wednesday. That was my thing. Because I would go on the road on the weekends and then I would hang out with my friends Monday through Wednesday and black out. Monday night's a tough night to get fucked up.
Starting point is 00:46:19 That scares you for the rest of the week. I used to get blacked out on Sunday. Sundays are fun to get fucked up on. During the day? Yeah. Stop drinking early? Yeah. Go to bed early?
Starting point is 00:46:31 Yeah. I hate day drinking. Day drinking's the worst. I used to not be a big fan of it. It would just like, or it just like make me tired. I would just get like sick. You'd either have to like power through and create the worst tomorrow for yourself, or. It's either go to bed at fucking 5 p.m. or blackout and
Starting point is 00:46:49 stay up until 5 a.m. yeah it was nasty but I'll do it from time to time yeah you'll dabble. I might do a little day drinking on Saturday but this wasn't even a really drinking night. Saturday what Saturday? My boy Mike's gonna be in town. Shit, which one? Best man? Uh, no, Wargo. Wargo! Wargo! What's up here? Wargo! What's up here?
Starting point is 00:47:11 Yay! Wargo! We're gonna go pick up some wooders. Wargo's parents actually just got a spot in Key Largo. Really? Wargo and Key Largo. Wargo and Key Largo. That's fucking different, bro.
Starting point is 00:47:22 I'm- Special. I learned that- I'm gonna pick up some vodka wooders. Yeah'm special. I learned some vodka warders Yeah, I'll just do a vodka water Water water basically in my fair lady nailed that accent. How do you say water? water I Say water my sister didn't used to have like a Philly accent. Then she moved to DC. She's hamming it up now.
Starting point is 00:47:47 And she like turned it up. She turned it up. Yeah. She landed in DC. God is good. Okay, get some waters. Go birds, dude. What you wanna do is go down 95.
Starting point is 00:48:01 When Kamala goes to Atlanta. When Kamala goes to Atlanta, she turns an n-squared b-square for sure have you ever seen the compilations of her like changing her voice in different cities yeah it's amazing it's crazy it's pretty badass I thought and then in Pittsburgh she talks like a yinzer yeah hmm it's amazing but my nose is so stuffed I don't know how this happened. I'm stuffed as hell. It's cold and flu season. Dude, I woke up yesterday gasping for air.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Could not catch my breath. I thought I was dying. Bro, you got to start using the breathe rights. Those are changing my life. And then I started using Afrin. But I didn't know that Afrin people get addicted to Afrin after 15 days. Really? Bargatzi's dad talks about, Bargate has a joke about his dad being addicted to Afrin.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Really? It's really funny. Wait, what's Afrin? It's like, it's a miracle drug. Like Vicks? It's like a nasal spray. Oh yeah, that shit's super addicting. The amount of, how well I breathed last night while I was sleeping is the best I've breathed
Starting point is 00:48:59 probably since I was like 12 years old. Yeah. It was amazing. My manager's addicted to it. He told me. I told him I was. I wonder why he's charging It was amazing. My manager is addicted to it. He told me. I told him I was. The water is charging you so much. I tried the mouth tape.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah. And I did not like the, what was the worst part of it was peeling the duct tape off the back of my head. Because it stuck to your hair? I was going, yeah, because I did the full wrap. I did the full wrap. And it got stuck to my hair. Well, it's brutal because you have to undo your hands first.
Starting point is 00:49:32 You have to undo your wrist. Because I usually like to tape up full body so that I don't accidentally rip it off in the middle of the night. Instinctually. Well, that's why I like to chain myself to a chair while I'm doing it. I was lucky that there was a loose nail on the bed that I was able to fucking... I still have my shoes on, so I did the thing where you tied your shoes together and saw through it. Let me tell you, running down a long, dark road bare barefoot looking over your shoulder is not worth the breathing that
Starting point is 00:50:09 I benefited. We should do a sketch where it's a dude, you know, like the, you know, like when like a serial killer kills someone and they, they lay them on their stomach and they tie their feet and their hands together. Yeah. We should do that. And you have, and you have the duct tape over your mouth and someone comes in and they cut you off You cut you off and you're like dude what the fuzz in the I was like in the middle of it
Starting point is 00:50:29 I was in REM sleep. What the fuck are you doing? I was in a full REM cycle. You fucking idiot and then that should just be it. Yeah, that's good. That's funny Verbal sketch. Wow funny bone. The fuck I saw that What did you just hit yourself on? The couch? I'm freaking out. I had all that candy. It's making me real weird.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Those were edibles. They weren't. Yeah. You'd be able to handle it right now? Those were crack edibles. I don't know if I can ever handle edibles. I thought that was like your whole thing. Guys, I'm going to Hawaii next week.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I've heard. I'm so fucking jealous. I'm kind to Hawaii next week. I've heard I'm so fucking jealous I'm kind of stoked about it. I wonder why four-point boys and Trent and clown me and Trent are gonna go dessert heavy. I Would say Japan what do you what kind of desserts do they have in Japan or not Japan in Hawaii? How dare you? Japan's got quite a late wipe them off the map. They're close though Yeah, you tell that someone who survived Pearl Harbor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:29 The one guy. What kind of desserts they got in Hawaii. Make a TikTok, make a comprehensive TikTok about your desserts. I will. That's a good idea. That'd be such a fun TikTok and maybe narrate everyone through it. Run do not walk to this bakery in Hawaii. Say Hawaii every time you're narrating it
Starting point is 00:51:52 and see if people get pissed. Or what about Hawaii? Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii. Hawaii. That's how they say it. The Howley's Guide to Hawaii. They don't like a... And refer to it as being in the upper two. That's what
Starting point is 00:52:06 I like to do. Dude, I watched this. Because everyone calls when people live in like Hawaii or Alaska, they refer to where we are as the lower 48. Oh, that's funny. So refer to it as the upper two. That's what I do. I was doing that to my buddy Bo and he was pissed. Because he kept on referring to, this is the lower 48 when he got back from Alaska. And I was like, dude, you were in Alaska for like two months. Saw back in like, you don't know where the fuck, like this is America. And where was it again?
Starting point is 00:52:32 Are we in the contigs right now? Yeah. No, you guys, the contigs over here, contiguous. Like he would be like, this is probably the best fishing in the lower 48. Dude, fuck off. Hawaii is not even like. Yeah, to call it the upper is ridiculous. It's it's the outer.
Starting point is 00:52:49 The outer. The outer. Just call it the upper two. Call the upper two in your TikTok. See what happens. Are you going to do the road? Maybe I'll just make my own TikTok. Send me the footage and I'll make my own.
Starting point is 00:53:00 OK, I got some ideas. Why don't you both make it and I'll post it on the Barstool main page. Have a little competition, see who does better with the same raw footage. Yeah, let's do that. That's a good idea. Send me some stock footage.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I'll just use stock footage online. I'll download some Getty footage. Of just some mahi. Bro, the fish that you're about to have. The fish. Oh. Ah. Please.
Starting point is 00:53:20 The mahi, where are you gonna be? I don't know. The islands that are more in the north of Hawaii. Of the northern too. Yeah, the Mahi, where are you gonna be? I don't know. The islands that are more in the north of Hawaii. Of the northern too. Yeah, the northern. The upper deckers. That's not Maui, is it? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Let me look, hold on. I'll tell you. The people of Hawaii don't like when you refer, when you talk about, when you make fun of the locals. Just a heads up, they're very protective of the locals, just a heads up, they're very protective about the locals. Well, because you're on stolen land. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:53:49 What we need is a 49 state solution. Yeah. Hawaii really shouldn't be a part of America. Yeah. Get rid of it. And didn't Russia used to have Alaska? Probably. I think they did. I mean, it doesn't make sense for us to have it.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Canada should have it. Canada should have Alaska. It doesn't make a fucking lick of sense. Francis. I think they did. I mean, it doesn't make sense for us to have it. Canada should have it. Canada should have Alaska. It doesn't make a fucking lick of sense. That's also ours. Francis, did Alaska used to be owned by Russia? I don't think so. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:54:15 That's like Canada having Florida. It is. It genuinely is. Yeah. Or like Texas. That's also us. Yeah. We actually have that too.
Starting point is 00:54:24 We're going to Lahu. Do you know where that is? Lahu? That sounds like a fucking character from Beauty and the Beast. Wasn't that the candlestick from Beauty and the Beast? Yeah, Russia owned Alaska until 1867, and then they sold it to the US.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Oh, did they? Yeah, get bossed up on. I'm glad I didn't. You know what I did there though? That was so good. You said, I don't know. I said, I don't know, I don't think so. Which is me playing it safe. I'm hedging my-
Starting point is 00:54:56 You're playing it safe, I get that. I respect that. After that nasty chess player was mean to you, I understand it. I'm trying to fall back into more of like a safe Commentary position kalua we jump out the window too much on this show kalua kalua is the stuff that why we're going to kawaii That's the basketball player kalua is the stuff you put in your coffee to get fucked up Oh, that's kalua right kawaii Hawaii so this is a bro. Why are you dressed like Belichick right now? Oh, yeah, kawah, right? Kauai, Hawaii. So this is-
Starting point is 00:55:25 Ew, bro, why are you dressed like Belichick right now? Oh yeah, Kauai is the farthest north, well, just about the farthest north island. I hate what I'm seeing in your legs right now. This has actually been the most offended I've ever been. This is a look, dude. Oh, bro, I'm about to get you canceled. Yeah, you don't look great, dude. This is a great look. No, bro. I'm about to get you cancelled. Yeah, you don't look great, dude.
Starting point is 00:55:45 This is a great look. No. I don't know what you look like. It's Belichick. That's like a Belichick move. Belichick's son. Yeah, that's like Belichick's yoga instructor son. This is how people are wearing their pants these days. Who?
Starting point is 00:55:59 They're calling it Uncle Drew. The homeless guys who's like penises falling out of the fucking top of their pants. Isn't this Uncle Drew-ing? Oh, LeBron used to warm up with pants like that for a while. They're calling it uncle drew the homeless guys who's like penis is falling out of the fucking top of their uncle drew in Oh LeBron used to warm up with pants like that for a while. Yeah, you got that from me You see LeBron bitching and moaning about having to go to Milwaukee Said nasty place. You should see you don't even know that I should be doing I do know that what are you talking about? I saw the Milwaukee Bucks just tweeted about it. They tweeted a picture of Yanis So how would I know that if I didn't know? I don't know. You just didn't comment on it. Why am I the first one to bring it up? Good to hear some frustration finally. Why am I the first one to
Starting point is 00:56:37 bring it up? That's a topical thing. You got to be hammering that from the gates. Because I can't hold your hand and explain everything to you when you're like, what's that? Who is LeBron James? The hockey player? Oh, I saw him on social media. Yeah. You've you loved getting this one off. What?
Starting point is 00:56:54 This was how the podcast started. Making me look out to be a fucking moron. Yeah, but you knew the whole time, right? What? Like you claim now, you're like, oh, I knew the whole time. Yes, I knew who Wayne Gretzky was. I was actually in on the joke. Wayne? Watch the clip back. You're like, oh, I knew the whole time. Yes, I knew who Wayne Gretzky was the entire time. I was actually in on the joke. Wayne?
Starting point is 00:57:06 Watch the clip back. There wasn't a fucking- Bro, I literally met Wayne Gretzky in Lake Placid. We've been over this. Yeah. I met Wayne Gretzky in Lake Placid in fourth grade. You thought that he was like a tour guide? He was in the same tournament as me.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Why is everyone like taking pictures with the tour guide? No. It doesn't make any sense to me. I remember I walked by and me and my dad and my friends and their dads We were like that was your dad looks like Wayne Gretzky low-key Not even a little bit. He does not even like would you guys be excited to meet Wayne Gretzky today? Yeah But not as excited more exciting like me David Or biz or biz biz and wit this is the real star of the show true But not as excited as you were as a kid. I'd be more excited to meet like McDavid. Or Biz. Or Biz.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Biz and Whit. Biz is the real star of the show. True. What about Michael Jordan? Yeah. Still super pumped. That would be unreal. Dude, I'm just finishing the last dance.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Obviously I would be pumped to meet Michael Jordan right now. Yeah. But you started it during COVID. No, I just started it like a month ago. You've been long playing it the entire time. There was a time in my life where if I had met Michael Jordan, I would have fainted. Yeah. I really think so.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I don't know if anyone would make me that excited. Now. Maybe Drake May. Maybe Jacoby Brissette. Who would make you nervous to say words to? Travis Kelcey. Really? Because he's pretty famous? Travis Kelsey. Really? Because he's pretty famous.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Travis Scott. Travis Scott. Travis Barker. Travis Pastrana. Pastrana. And Travis is the most intimidating name. You're asking me who would be my goat, who's my number one right now.
Starting point is 00:58:39 No, that's not what I mean. Who's my goat. I like that question. Someone that still elicits that boyhood butterflies of this person is. When I was a kid, my uncle was the face and he was basically the face surgeon of the Bulls. And this was right after Michael Jordan.
Starting point is 00:58:56 It was probably 1999, 2000 around then. You were like a twinkle. Your parents were starting to get romantic with each other at the time. And he told me before a Bulls game, he was like, dress really nice. I'm not going to tell you why. And so I wore a nice red sweater, some khakis. And during a time out, he started to bring me down and it was while people
Starting point is 00:59:16 were doing half court shots, I thought he was about to bring me onto the court. And I was like, why the fuck would they tell me to wear these shoes if I was going to do half court shots? But really he brought me back and he brought me into the fucking locker room. And we looked at Tyson Chandler's locker and Eddie Curry's locker. And then he brought us into the hallway and fucking Michael Jordan just fucking walked down the hallway and just like a hush fell over the entire hallway. Just walked right past close as me and you right now. They didn't say a word to him, but I was a little boy and I could not believe how fucking exciting it was to just be in the same hallway as Michael Jordan. That's
Starting point is 00:59:49 insane. Pretty fucking sick. It was exciting. I was excited at the time. Then I also Matt Damon, Matt Damon would have been high on my list. Matt Damon would be a good one. When I was in the Boston guys don't really do it for me anymore because I like expect to see them at some point on like unlike cuz they'll be doing like Because I like to come and do some show here and I'll see them. Yeah, right didn't they do plan Bree? Yeah, Casey. I fuck. Yes Casey. I fucking Matt Damon did Plan Bree and they did PMT What yeah?
Starting point is 01:00:17 When like a couple weeks ago? Oh really? Yeah, they did plan Bree. Yeah Wow Like if Tom Brady walked through the office, I would be like, oh, that makes sense. He's here to see Dave. Yeah. But like if he's here to do tricks, my homes walk through the office. That's on site. I'm killing them for the Patriots, for the Patriots. I mean, or for just every other team in the NFL. I bet that we collectively would pay your bail. You're going to win the Super Bowl again?
Starting point is 01:00:45 Yeah. Yeah. Well, Rashid Rice being hurt hurts them. That's it though, because Xavier Worthy is probably better. They're way different styles of receiver, bro. I thought you were gonna do ball. So good. Yeah, but one's like a slot, or one's like a speed option who stretches the defense. The other one's like a possession guy. Bro, I'm telling you, Xavier Worthy, multiple tools. Better than, better than Rishi Rice? I mean dude he's so fast.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Better than Rishi Rice? He will be. Exposed. He will be absolutely better than Rishi Rice. Exposed. He's a speed merchant. I like, I like a lot of those guys. See you know ball.
Starting point is 01:01:22 See I can tell by you saying that that you know ball. You know what the fuck you're talking about. Francis does not know ball. I love it. You're talking about a man who picked Justin Tucker first round. I love it. I like Devon H. Chan.
Starting point is 01:01:34 See, ball knower. He's not just listing the most obvious players. I like him. Xavier Worthy's not an obvious player. Chris Godwin. First round pick? What are you talking about? Was he a first round pick? I don't think he was yes. He was was on ball Noah didn't the Bills trade
Starting point is 01:01:49 He was the last pick in the first round. Yeah, interesting You guys keep talking ball. I'm gonna play with the car. I Walk past Matt or Matt Damon walked past me in a hallway and the same hush the same hush fell on the hallway Yeah hallway and the same hush the same hush fell on the hallway. Yeah. Leonardo DiCaprio would probably be my most nervous. Yeah. Like seeing him in public he'd be like oh my god. I would just want to smell his dick. I'd want to smell that dick. I would have to smell his dick. You know just pineapple-y pussy. Yeah. Healthy pussy. His dick's just got the right pH levels.
Starting point is 01:02:31 The right microbiome on it. Yeah. No type of yeast infection. No, nothing. Probably shines. It's probably glossy. It's like the top of the Chrysler building. Yeah, he's got a glossy penis.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Like the handle of an electric toothbrush. I forgot that Francis was at that Diddy party with him recently. That's right. Do you think, I bet you he's had a freak off with him. Right? Don't you think? No. Leo? I think I went to a freak off with him actually a couple years ago. That's a Francis story.
Starting point is 01:03:05 You know, I actually went to a freak off with Leonardo DiCaprio. Have I told you, have I not told you guys this story? It was bring your own baby, oh. Bye, Beau. Francis, would you have gone to a freak off if you got invited? 100%.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Yeah, that's the thing, is everyone keeps calling out these celebs, like dude, they were at, this person went to the Diddy party. In 2007, if P Diddy had invited me to a party at his house. Yeah and then he was like stay for the post for the post session. I would have been like. Stay for the freak off. I don't think there's anything that could happen here that would make me leave.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Maybe there is. Once they bring out the kids. If they started killing people. Yeah and then when they start killing people and they start bringing out the kids no if people if they if people were killing people that you would have like it would be your chance to step up and like prove your worth those parties must have been fun like a bunch of kids holding on to like a toddler holding on to a rope to stay together. I'd be like, uh, Michael are killing people. No, it'd be, it'd be like, um,
Starting point is 01:04:15 what's the guy from super bad. Yeah. Yeah. When they go to the party, he's like, okay, these eyes. You're the guy that kills people, right? Yeah. You're playing like harder than you ever have. You're sweating like fucking Stevie Wonder. You're singing an original. I went to Harvard. This shirt is barber. You're doing the ski lift song.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Which one? Oh yeah, Ski School Kids. How do you know all this about? About you? Yeah. No, I meant the ski lift song about going to Telluride and getting pulled over. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah school kids. How do you know all this about? About you? Yeah. No, I meant the ski lift song about going to Telluride and getting pulled over.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah. Classic. There's already like multiple documentaries about P. Diddy. I know. Did you see that he applied for $50 million bond today? And it was denied?
Starting point is 01:05:03 It was his third appeal. And they were like, we're gonna make sure no women are allowed at his house and he's gonna do weekly drug tests. Bruh, he's probably got women in the house already that they didn't find. It's like, why would he, why does he need women in the house? They're probably in like a fucking hidden room.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Or it's like just Meek Mill will come over. Yeah, true. Why does he need women for? Fuck those cheats up. Yeah, doesn't What does he need women for? Fuck those cheats up. Does he need women or drugs? You just need some over the counter fucking lubricants. Yeah, he's gonna be like, fine, bussy only. He's like lent for him.
Starting point is 01:05:39 All right, just bussy for me for 40 days. I can live off that. Giving up 50 mil. You think he's fucked since he's been in prison? No. Now? You don't think he's busted once? I think they probably offered him like the hottest dudes they've got. Like the hottest lady boys, like female presenting inmates. I used to watch fucking lock up and lock up raw so much. On the weekends, I'd like get fucking stoned at like 2 a.m. watch lock up raw for like three hours straight. Is that the one where they're all out milling around in the middle and then fights happen,
Starting point is 01:06:17 but it's always around a corner in a cell? It's an amazing reality show about prisons and it's that exact shit. And then they'll just film like 45 lady boy presenting, like guys presenting as women who are just like wearing lipstick, wearing makeup. And it's like, these guys will get out in like five years and go back to their families after just sucking dick in prison and like, but trying to seduce people. They're not even sucking dick against their will. It's their way of having a spot in the prison ecosystem.
Starting point is 01:06:48 You gotta do what it takes, man, to survive. I learned anything from the night of, it's that you gotta get a neck tattoo. Yeah, you gotta get, you gotta start smoking crack and then somehow gain muscle. Yeah. Yeah. You get that.
Starting point is 01:07:03 That Joe didn't make sense at, was like a huge plothole for me Was the fact that he got addicted to crack and then like put on 30 pounds muscle He was doing tons of pull-ups and lifting and all that but he was smoking crack Mm-hmm. Well, he didn't lose any weight from smoking crack. I think you are only thinking of a certain type of crackhead Yeah, the one that's in prison and is doing crack. Yeah, but there are other crackheads that become motivated, focused. Functional crackheads.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Exactly, it's what they needed. To get them on the straight and narrow. Crack has a different effect on everybody. It's like alcohol. I'll be honest, I didn't like that show. I remember you saying that. I liked the lawyer. Yeah. He saying that. I liked The Lawyer. Yeah. He's cool. He's a good actor.
Starting point is 01:07:48 He's very good. Did you ever watch Better Call Saul? No. Did you? I watched the first two seasons. People will glaze that show. People love that show. It's pretty good. It's like universally beloved as one of the top television dramas of all time. I've been getting back into like old reality TV shows,
Starting point is 01:08:08 like, but like not like the dumb ones. Like I've been watching a lot of River Monsters and a lot of Storm Chasers. Are you sure those aren't the dumb ones? Those are the good ones. That's like good reality TV. What is River Monsters? You've never seen River Monsters?
Starting point is 01:08:22 Deadliest Catch Rule 2. Deadliest Catch was a banger. You never saw River Monsters was this like, I too. Deadliest catch was a banger. You never saw River Monsters? River Monsters was this, like, I don't know if he was, like, Australian or what, but he would just go to, like, these rivers and catch these, like, fucking mutant fish that you could not imagine. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:35 And, like, the Amazon? He would go everywhere. You know what I saw that came across my feed is long casting, or, like, ultra long casting. With fly rods? No, no, no. With fly rods? No, no, no. With spin rods? Yeah. I mean this guy throws a lore fucking 300 yards.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Is it the ones where they spin it around? No, but it's resting on the ground and he whips it so hard and it spins out for like eight or nine seconds. Yeah. I've seen those, but I've also seen ones where they, where they have like a weight on the bottom and they're throwing out like live bait and they take it and they spin it so that to the point that it's just like, and then they just release it and it launches like 10 miles.
Starting point is 01:09:18 I love it. It's crazy. Bro, you need to go fishing in Prospect Park. Yeah, I looked at that, but it's- Do they have it there? There's, they have decent fishing in Prospect Park. Yeah, I looked at that, but it's- Do they have it there? They have decent fishing in Prospect Park. There's tons of no fishing signs in English and in Spanish, and the stockiest Spanish-speaking bros
Starting point is 01:09:35 are walking with like five rods. They do not give a fuck. You're not allowed to fish in Prospect Park. You're not supposed to, but it's such- Comes up on fish brains. It's so accessible because because first off, nobody's stopping you. That's probably why it comes up. There's no one regulating but the water you like the water is so calm and
Starting point is 01:09:52 you can walk right up to it like it never goes up or down like it's just it's also but isn't it like insane? Isn't there a ton of like algae? Yeah, algae and moss and **** Yeah, I'll do crumpler. Yeah. Well, see, ball knower. That's why you're dressed as an Atlanta Falcon today. I see a little bit of red on the trim of your jeans. Some hints of red. That's Falcon's core.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Dude, I didn't know that we are we sponsored by OnX? Is that a new thing? I use OnX all the time. What is OnX? It's like an app that shows you what's public and what's private land. It's for hunting but I use it for fishing. Are we sponsored by them? I guess yeah. It's amazing. I pay for it. What? It's not cheap. I'm still doing the free trial. Hit me with those codes. Yeah bless him with the codes. I need to do it for my First Amendment audits. I know. Find out what's bank property and what's real. It's a great app. What's a public property? Is the police station parking lot, is that
Starting point is 01:10:48 public property or is that city property? I don't know. Or is it private property? That's where you got to get on X. I can't remember the last time I was walking through, I was cutting through a police station parking lot. I would just do it so I could film inside their cars and then when they come up to me and say why are you filming inside the cars I would say it's public land I'm allowed to film anything that you can't trespass my eyes a piece of this car they hit him with that all the time I'm your boss have you seen those videos recently people are doing where they go up to like they go up to a cop and they just go what's your
Starting point is 01:11:19 name and badge number yes they say it and they go good boy like damn dude that's so mean people are they'll be'll be like, you're my servant. Yeah, yeah. You're my servant, you're dismissed. And I mean, technically they are public servants and technically they do work for the public, so you are, but it's an insane. Who are these people that are doing that?
Starting point is 01:11:37 Think about this. You would, I can see you doing something. I wanna do it so bad, I don't have the balls. I don't have the balls. With the fucking Ray-Ban's glasses on. I respect the piggies too much too. The camera glasses. I can see you doing something like that. I don't have the balls. With the fucking Ray-Ban's glasses on. I respect the piggies too much too. The camera glasses. I respect our boys in blue too much.
Starting point is 01:11:48 That's something that Rome would do like walking home by himself. No glasses. He just films himself walking up to a cop and be like, you're my fucking public servant, bitch. I respect them too much, but I would fuck with people privately. We've maligned some pretty important jobs over the last couple of years.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Which ones? Well, a cop. You know, I got to believe that the, this sort of dream of growing up to be a police officer, which once was something that, you know, young kids dreamed of doing has faded. It's no longer as longer as heroic and noble. Are you sure kids don't still want to be cops? Because I feel like little kids probably still want to be cops.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Let's put it this way. Maybe they do, but by the time they're teenagers, they're not. Imagine the cops and robbers games in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Oh, yeah. It's probably 30 to 1. The cops on fire. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:44 No, they don't play cops and robbers. They play cops and victims. Cops and looters who are, you know, unfortunately caught in the crossfire. The looters just looting an Easy-Bake oven. Cop versus looters. Just looting a playpen kitchen. But what else? What other, what other professions are in my life?
Starting point is 01:13:09 Firefighters are still respected. Teachers are not respected. Teachers are not respected. I would almost argue like it feels like doctors are becoming less respected. Really? Medical malpractice suits seem to be really frequent. Insurance. People don't trust science. is seen as a complete scam.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Everything is like, I don't want to go to the doctor, they'd rip you off, all that. Or you could be like, I heard on a podcast that you're actually wrong about this advice. Exactly. Doctors, you know, so I can't help but wonder if there won't be a drain of people applying for those jobs. And if at some point we might be like, be a drain of people applying for those jobs.
Starting point is 01:13:49 And if at some point we might be like, wow, we've run out of. Well, cause everybody's going to want to stream doctors. And then soon I'm sure firemen will go. Really? Firefighters are kind of bad ass. They are the one true universally recognized Heroes yeah as far as I can tell there hasn't been a case yet We're like an entire firehouse was found out to be Like a or something lighting schools on fire. Yeah, they do that in towns where nothing happens though
Starting point is 01:14:19 Or they did it in gangs of New York. Yeah, you are you still never watch that never seen it Good one. Bro, you're fucking asleep, bro. Challenge accepted. I'm kind of just banging through Silicon Valley right now. No, bro, you need to change it up. You need to change it up a little bit. Try Nobody Wants This.
Starting point is 01:14:38 I'll try Nobody Wants This. Just watch The Prestige. Watch Gangs of New York. I just haven't been on a big movie kick lately. But you get the whole experience of being able to talk about something without having to do the 40 hours It's gonna take you to get through Silicon Valley I'm almost done All right. Well, what's up next for what's up next then whatever comes up next? I don't choose
Starting point is 01:14:59 The queue chooses. Yeah, the queue chooses what's next. I just ride that wave forever Yeah, the Q chooses what's next. I just ride that wave forever. I'm watching the traders on Peacock. Yeah, classic. Love Peacock. My favorite streaming platform. Yeah, I know you love cock. Can't wait to watch the Christmas games on there this year. Christmas games are not gonna be this year you fucking idiot. You don't know ball? Christmas games aren't gonna be this year. They're not having Christmas this year, you idiot. I thought they were on Netflix. No, they're not out there. There's too much babbling. Bunch of execs, bunch of higher ups,
Starting point is 01:15:30 don't worry about it. They're meeting with Jack Mack. Are they, is there no Christmas games this year? Christmas has been canceled. According to who? Fucking Santa Claus. Bro, I'm getting so distracted by this fucking, are you gonna poke your head out?
Starting point is 01:15:49 Francis! Francis, easy! Easy! Who was it? I need names. Salespeople. Do not stop yapping. Sales. That whole job is just yapping. Wake up, yap, go to bed. Accounts, margins, going out to cocktails. Going into cocktails. If you're a salesperson you have a severe substance problem. Oh of course. Because you've got every night you're just going out mingling with clients. You're just doing Kratom and trying to convince yourself that it's not an opioid. Oh. We're heading to the Yo Kratom palace today.
Starting point is 01:16:33 Okay. They said the one kind of Kratom, the one kind of Kratom is an opioid. There's like one kind that like came from France and it like is a hundred percent an opioid. Well, I remember when KB started taking Kratom, he took like a shit ton of it and then he went onto the kratom website and there was dudes that were like,
Starting point is 01:16:49 I was addicted to heroin for 10 years, this is stronger than anything I've ever done. People are like, it's making my hair fall out. Half of my hair is falling out. But you can get it at like a gas station. Yeah. Just pick up some kratom, slam it, drive. And I think they're calling it crazy shit too. They're like calling it like jet fuel
Starting point is 01:17:08 Yeah, and it's just in like a bag. Yeah, like it's like spice remember spice. Yeah Did we had like a whole like course in health like a whole like? Like timeline where we just learned about spice in my entire childhood I assumed that spice were like k2 was gonna be a much bigger issue in my life. And I've never once encountered it. Really? Well, you know why it's gone away is because weed is now fine.
Starting point is 01:17:35 It's legal, yeah. Because the reason spice came up was because people needed to smoke weed that didn't show up on drug tests. Outside of the family court in Philly, there's like this skating park and it's all skateboarders and people waiting outside family court to fucking smoke spice.
Starting point is 01:17:55 And they're all doing it because you can't, it's like if you're drug testing in a family court, you wanna have custody or some shit like that, you can't be on actual weed. And so people are just getting fried off of spice outside of the family court. Where do you even buy like where would I go pick up some spice today? You could you used to be able to buy it at like a like a bong store yeah or like smoke shops before they could just sell weed in the smoke shop. So now I'd have to go
Starting point is 01:18:19 and I'd be like I get some spice and they'd have to like they'd be like dusting off fucking boxes when I mean I smoked Like synthetic weed which I guess is spice. It didn't do shit though. It was terrible didn't get blazed I did. Yeah, I thought it like made you like eat people. No, it made you it made me tired. Yeah But it was like what they try to make it look like weed like they were just put like sticks and like stems Yeah, it was like synthetic stick. It was like Stupidish it looked like, synthetic stick. It was, like, stupid as shit. It looked like dryer lint.
Starting point is 01:18:49 Yeah. It's disgusting. We should do a spice episode. Yeah? Just get high as fuck on spice. Drink Natty Ices and fucking smoke spice, ice spice episode? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:02 Pass the K2. Pass the 2K. I'm looking to get melted. What does it do? It really can hurt people. Why? I think it's just like... People go into a coma. I remember seeing cautionary ads about it or something like that. What happens worst case scenario with spice?
Starting point is 01:19:21 Ask Ron. He's the fucking expert. I don't know. I think maybe some people just start acting crazy. I mean, they put weird chemicals in it and there's no regulation. Isn't it that the kids don't wake up or something like that? They go into a coma? I don't know. I thought I remember hearing about that. You thinking of carbon monoxide?
Starting point is 01:19:34 No. I just got some good ass deja vu. Did we talk about this? We probably did Who's we wrap this up? Yeah, let's do it Yes, let's let's wrap this up. I gotta go home Yeah, you got a spots. You gotta watch way more All right. I love it here. He looked at his videos. I gotta go home
Starting point is 01:20:02 Well, cuz I figured out I realize I don't have that much time I got a I have to eat food and decompress. All right. Um, I'm going to be in Rochester tomorrow or today. If anyone that listens to this podcast lives in Rochester, please come to the shows, please. We need this as a show. I need this so bad.
Starting point is 01:20:22 The self-esteem will be low next week. If Seth does not have a good weekend. The room is so big and there are so many tickets left. And there's so few people in Rochester. Genuinely, I think if the entire city of Rochester came to these shows, they still wouldn't be sold out. So please, all I'm looking for is like 100 people a show. I'm fine with that.
Starting point is 01:20:43 I'll take that. So if you're going, contact 100 of your closest friends, bring them along with you. Hope to see you guys there. Lot of new material, working on a lot of new stuff. They're saying the new material's killer. There's a lot of people talking about the new material. They're saying it's killer. They're saying it's killer.
Starting point is 01:21:02 They said you have a crazy Kamala impression. Don't even get me started. Give us a little bit of it. That is it. That's it. That's her. That is it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Laughing Kamala. This bottle, the recycling rebate in Hawaii, Maine, and New York is five cents. Oregon, it's ten cents. Do you think that those people that go around with a shopping cart that has two of the biggest bags of bottles and cans you've ever seen in your life? It's not even like a bag it's like a tarp. Yeah, filled. Yeah. Do you ever think that they're like, I've almost saved the money to go to Oregon. That's probably how the Oregon Trail started. Where I will make double. I'll make double for this exact same amount of cans and bottles. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:51 That's what they should be doing. Yeah, walking to Oregon. But there's probably such an economy of that. And it's like the gold rush. Yeah, there's already a lot of people out there doing the cans and bottles. Yeah, once you factor how long it's going to take to get there and then the time you got to wait in line. We're going up Oregon way to harvest some bottles. Yeah
Starting point is 01:22:08 All right. See you guys next week. Goodbye

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