Son of a Boy Dad - Phony Negroni | Son of a Boy Dad #264

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

Phony Negroni | Son of a Boy Dad #264 -- #Ad: Download the Gametime app today and use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with Gametime Picks! -- Follow us on our socials: https://linktr.ee/sonofaboydad -- Merch: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/son-of-a-boy-dad -- SUBSCRIBE TO THE YOUTUBE #SonOfABoyDad #BarstoolSportsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/sonofaboydad

Hey, son of a boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon music. All right, ready? Yeah. Alrighty welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast. Today it is January 8th, 325 p.m. How are we doing? Upon the revelation that Grace O'Malley

makes $250,000 a year. Stick around because on this very episode, little Sasquatch will take his own life. I did, we talked about it. I was thinking about shaving my head for the bit, but then I woke up this morning and I was like, that's not worth it at all. I was so disappointed that you had the locks.

To be honest, I was like, I was gonna get a haircut. The thing with getting a haircut is like, I'm always like, I fucking need a haircut. I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh man, I hate my hair. I gotta get a haircut. But then I'm like, then I have the time to get a haircut. And then I'm like, I'd literally rather do anything else than get a haircut. Like there's like, I'd rather just

sit on the couch, then just go get a haircut. Yeah. So now I've decided I came up with a new plan because I don't even like getting my haircut in New York City, because it's all like the Dominicans and they don't know how to cut my hair. So I'm going to go when I go to Bloomington tomorrow. You're gonna take a flyer on Bloomington as a place to get your hair cut? Yeah, I'm gonna go to a super cuts or like a great clips.

That's where they know how to do it. Yeah, great legs, great clips. Cause if you go into, if I go to the barbers around me and I'm like, can you just give me, they don't. They'll give you a star in the side of your head. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, low taper fade. They'll give you like star in the side of your head. Yeah, exactly, yeah, low taper fade. They'll give you like a couple notches in your eyebrow.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So that's why I'm gonna go, I gotta go to somewhere a little more white. And Bloomington Indiana, or Bloomington, Minnesota. Minnesota. I'd assume, yeah. Yeah, it is. All of America. I might go in the mall.

You'll probably wind up with like a Somali great clips or something like that. Outside. I think they've a lot They do a lot of Somalis up there. They do we're staying in Minneapolis You got to get some walleye while you're up there. Yeah, walleye overhead good walleye out there You got to go to was it called fork and spoon or something? Yeah. Yeah, did I tell you about that? I don't know You said that as if that was information in one ear out the other yeah, it's gonna be it's me and mook I mean where it's gonna be Burger King at fucking 2 a.m

You don't want to do me a favor and try to go to one restaurant that you I can promise you to me is probably One of the top three restaurants in the America I've ever been to and it's not like a fork and spoon Let me look it up Well, we have plans. We have big plans for Friday. Haircut. That might probably pre-hair, post-haircut. Call of duty.

Pick spoon and spoon and spoon and stable. Spoon and stable? Yep. I'll have to check it out. It's in Minneapolis? That passes like three of my rules for whenever I go on the road and I'm looking for a good restaurant. Oh yeah, you said nothing with spoon or fork in the title.

No, no, always something with spoon or fork. And if there's something and something, like pig and twine or something like that, that restaurant's gonna rule. Ash and Ford. Yeah, like Tom and Maine or something like that. That would be really good. Or something that's like the, like, the rusty knife. Mm, I like that. The greasy be really good. Or something that's like the like the rusty knife.

Mm. I like that. The greasy spoon, the something spoon. The leaky cauldron. If there's something like that, those are always things to look for. I'll go. You know who was there when I was eating there? Who? Rudy Gobert. Really? Yep.

That's fun. Tough to miss. The back of the chair barely reached the top of his butt crack. Jesus Christ. He's 7'4". Yeah. It is a preposterous sight to see a man of that size eating dinner at a table with three other people. Every chair is a stool.

You always have lumbar support though. That's got to be amazing. Yeah, that's true. Lower back support. The L5S1 is always supported. Crazy how disliked that guy is. I feel like everybody hates Rudy Gobert. He was in the lab in Wuhan. Really? He leaked. He leaked it. He was one of the first one. He had COVID in his hand like a dandelion and just blew it out. Just like suck and blow

at a high school party with COVID. We're going to tour the Vikings facility. No, you're not. Yeah, we are. That's such love, bro. I know. Are those the Krogies? I know.

Who set that up? I know a guy. Are you going to see the workout facility? I think. The gym? I think so. You see their training facility? I'm trying to see the locker room

I'm trying to smell it bro. I want to be I want to see it in Justin Jefferson's Seat yeah, it is locker. I doubt they'll let you do that. I bet they will bro. Why not you? Why not me right? Race the boys are in there race got to hang out with the Eagles Why can't I hang out with the Vikings? I? Think they won't be in the actual locker room room I think they'll be at the practice facility oh wait no oh they're they have an away game so you're good you'll be able to sit in his locker probably they'll be in LA for the Rams they said they're gonna let me put on his gloves

That would be so sick. A video of you in there like running a route, running a button hook. Dude, if Sass tried to catch one of those sideways balls from the machine, it would go through his sternum. Oh, break my fingers. Yeah. You see Joe Milton, fucking third fastest pass in NFL history. Really? Yeah. Damn. On his first game?

How long have they been recording that though? Not that long. I have no idea. I don't think they were recording the velocity of Brett Favre's passes. And I can tell you. No, Brett Favre I think was one. Okay. I'm glad to hear it.

It was either, it was like, So you were right that Brett Favre had a better arm. I'm glad I threw that out there. Yeah, no, I think it was Brett Favre, Brady, Milt, Breeze. Was Brett Favre not on it? No, but that's before they started recording, which is what I was worried about. I'll check this out.

I think Aaron Rodgers was on it. And of course, the brother Kaepernick. They had Hertz on his slowest. Probably. And it was his Hail Mary attempt in the Super Bowl. The wind caught it and started bringing it back the other direction. It turned into a lateral.

Milton's was the second fastest in NFL history. The only one faster was Brock Osweiler at 62.8 miles per hour. See. It's hard to get your information these days because there's 700 different accounts that you think are the NFL that are tweeting, but then it turns out they capitalized an I or something. In NFL. Oh, now Jordan Love, now Jordan Love, yep.

So you already have conflicting information. Who keeps the stats, bro? I know. So many stats, so many All-Pro teams. So many All-Pro teams. You saw the PFF All-Pro came out. Yeah, PFF's all-pro. And then Saquon's second team all-pro and PFF?

What are they even watching, bro? Lamar's all-pro. Ah, dude, those accounts piss me off, the ones that are like... And it's like Lamar, PFF all-pro, Josh Allen with like an X next to it, and they're like, did they get it right? Did PFF get it right? And it's like another account. That's like ml football Is that the ranking one? They're all there's a thousand of them. I fucking love them. So nice. I want one account I put in a game time request to try to go to the Seagulls game really yeah against the Packers

It's gonna be like it's gonna be snowy. It's gonna be sick Philly It's gonna be sick. Is it in? Philly. Damn. Sunday? I'm just waiting to hear. The tickets are like cheap.

They're like, you can get in for less than $200 to a playoff game. You wanna hook a brother up? You wanna go? I'd go. Yeah? Frank? Potentially.

I don't like doing much. You've had that effect on me. You slow, yeah, you really slowed him down. I've seen the value and not doing much There's value in not doing much There's also a value and not going to football games because the games are way better on the TV than they are in person pigs in a blanket a Just pigs in the bank blanket spilling into pigs in the blanket spilling into pigs in the blanket The commercials piss you off when you're watching football until you go to a game live and you're like I'd rather be watching commercials than just watching the team just standing on the field doing nothing not for like It's gonna be creatures out there. You're gonna be able to watch the drunkest most unruly, huh?

I don't wanna go you're out now Oh, cause I was gonna wear my Gibbs Jersey. You will get your ass beat. Did you see the guy at the Flyers game last night? That was insane. That was so mean. Dude, there's a bunch of shit like that happening right now. There were two Leafs fans, Indian bros,

who were waving at all the Flyers fans, and the guy just went down like seven rows of just walking over the seats. One piece and then two piece the other guy. But first he was like, oh, as if he was just like razzing them. And then he started unloading punches on them. And they were like, what the heck, man?

What the, what the heck, man? Well, cause those people make, those people make like a sports rivalry, not fun. Cause then you're like, well, if I go to this game and I wear a Jersey that's not the home team's Jersey, am I gonna die? No. Am I gonna get killed?

Probably would have been fine as long as you didn't go after the game, after the home team had lost in front to the front of the court or the rink or the field and be like, goodbye losers. That's Rohn's move. Bye losers.

Rohn, I was with Rohn and he did that for like 45 minutes straight. I was I was with ronan he did you always 45 minutes straight I was doing it too It was because the team the Yankees had already won so the Yankees know the Red Sox killed the Yankees or then the Red Sox It was to the fans of the team that have won that was the joke of it I wasn't just doing it randomly no cuz we were at Yankee Stadium It was to the was all the other team that the team that are filing out and runs going bye I wouldn't bye. I wouldn't do without a job

I was doing to the people who know he was shitfaced out of his mind doing it for 45 minutes straight It's not what it was me ron KB and Nick and we were all like dude. This is like a problem Well, you're looking at wrong handle everybody. This is this was pretty jacked KBB he's still a wrestler cauliflower ears true this was back when KB was like 120 not like scrap like not like 200 steel KB sprawl just sprawling it is funny seeing old clips of KB oh yeah he does look like one of the mom stars without their powers yeah like he's sitting like Jimmy Carter in a seat like his feet aren't even touch the ground and now it's just like he's like the universe he's expanding in all directions oh you know he's not just like getting the more

typical jacked way he's his consciousness too he's the he's the one person that's almost always right and even when everybody's in on something, he'll kind of give the different perspective on it. Did you hear their, KB's backpack story on Anus this week? Or last week? When they searched his backpack. Where he left his backpack at the gym

and he went to go get it. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was. And the guy was like, what's in it? And he was like, I can't name a single thing in the backpack. He was like, I can't name a single thing in the back. He was like I don't know man. That was a hoot. That is so fucking funny. It would be nice to record with them while we were out there.

Yeah, not a bad idea. We're trying to get Sass to come out to Chicago next week. Thinking about it. Wouldn't hate seeing that uh, seeing that uh, finale live. Have you been watching? Oh, yeah. You watched the P-dub? What? The pink wedding? Oh, yeah. Banger. Spoiler alert. I don't want to talk about it for too long because I feel like we- We don't have to talk about it at all. We did the Christmas episode and we were like we're like we're gonna clap and then we'll like well

We'll make a lot of noise when we stop talking about it We don't have to talk about it anymore anyway Francis Francis took me and my wife out to a really nice dinner What a ronification of of last. Interesting. Ron paid for the whole meal. Why was I not even like texted or? Cause you don't do, you wouldn't, you would not have come. I was at home by myself. We could have sent an Uber to your home

to bring you to the restaurant. If I found out there was a team dinner happening last night, I would have been there. I'm a team man. It was really just a gossip sesh. I'm like Dan Campbell. That's who I am. Yeah, your team was three and thirteen four years ago. Yeah, and now look at us You're a reverse Dan Campbell also say what you will I guess I was the one that said it

I was gonna say say what you want about the Christmas episode got like 50,000 views on YouTube It's like double what we usually get Jesus. Yeah It's the Dana effect the Dana we need to have him in for like five minutes a month Randomly yeah, should we see if he could he could come in right now just for like a minute. He might be here I know he had to get home to talk to his wedding planner with his fiance So funny not before he broke that chair though He did yeah, I have the video of it. You want to see it really quick. Yeah This is the funniest. That's so Dana. Oh my god though he did yeah I have the video of it you want to see it really yeah this is

the funniest that's so Dana oh my god crazy uh so nice that he kind of has that classic fat boy all he did was raise his leg wait a second there's some sturdy chairs he didn't sit down hard no those I don't believe it. All he did was raise his leg. Wait a second. Those are some sturdy chairs. He didn't sit down hard. No. Those are like leather thick chairs.

It's tough to go through one of those. That video started off with him sitting. Yep. You can't just break a chair while you're already sitting into it. You have to sit down into it. He was already landed. Yeah.

Have you ever been on like a stool or like a bench, something like that, and then someone a little bigger comes and sits down next to it, sits down next to you on it, and you're like, this shit's gonna go, where this shit's gonna break? And then you gotta get up and be like, I gotta go take a piss.

But it then completely unbalances, and the guy just fucking falls off anyway. I've been in that situation a couple times It's never fun That's a really specific situation. Yeah, i've been in multiple times Where where are the benches in the city in new york? I've been in that situation one time. Yeah, there's no way that's happened more than once. Where did that happen? I can't say an episode of recess something? Because I think it would give away who I was talking about.

Why? Okay, Frank the Tank. No. No one you guys know. Dugs. And they just said it's literally no one you guys know. Um... You could guess a million people and it wouldn't be... Your boy, Beau?

Big F? No. Your fat grandmom? No, no. My grandmom is not fat. Okay. She's slender. That's such a crazy thing to say because out of context, that would make it seem like you're really defensive.

Yeah, it's just not good enough of a story for me to go into the details. We'll be the judge. If your grandma's actually the judge. I already am the judge. We went out to dinner last night. Yeah, where'd you guys go? Fork and spoon.

Don Angie. Fork and spoon. Don Angie. Fork and spoon and sty. And sty. No, we went to Don Angie, which is awesome. I scored a reservation there on Rezzy a couple weeks ago, or like a week and a half ago, and completely forgot about it. Angie's on Rezzy's?

And then I saw that it had a, it had like a $50 per person cancellation fee. Damn. But I also wanted to go. So I just hit Rhone at like three o'clock or two o'clock and said, Hey, any chance you want to go to Don Angie tonight? I can see if I can add a one for you to bring your wife. And she got excited.

We all went, we had a great time. But I will say Rhone and I, I decided, I'm kind of loosely decided that I want to try to do damp January. I'm going to drink on the weekends. Did anybody do this last year? No, I tried to do dry January last year. I never heard anyone say damp January. I made it like 12 days.

Just a sprinkle. Just a drizzle. Just like lightly vaginally secreted. Yeah. Yet not, you know. Just the wall sweat Just a drizzle. Just like lightly vaginally secreted, yet not. Just the wall sweat a little bit. Like swelling, gentle swelling of the labia majora, January. January. Damn January's crazy. Just admit you have a problem.

Well, that's why I'm doing this. Because I drank, I think I drank 20 days in a row. No, I'm kidding. I wasn't saying you actually have a problem. I didn't think you were going to go along with it. Don't back off your point. Just because I conceded the point. You would have said that to anyone, I think. I would.

Fine. Well, I ordered a mocktail. Oh, that sucks. And then so did Rhone. Rhone had a mocktail. Dude, mocktails have come a long way. Also, I think that I know for a fact that restaurants in certainly in New York hate January. Yeah. Their sales of booze, wine, which are a huge part of what brings their bills up.

That's where the restaurants really make their money is on wine more than food. Cause they can mark up a bottle of wine two and a half X. Yeah, you can only mark up a pork shoulder so much which we got. It sounds like a blast. We did do a pork mocktails and pork shoulder. So basically, Francis's point is that we had to drink enough

mocktails as we would have gotten cocktails if we were drinking to get drunk, just so we didn't short this waitress out of being able to get the full amount of a spend of a table that was drinking alcohol. So we had like nine mocktails between us. There's nothing that tells you you have a problem more than ordering your seventh phony drone.

When they're like, sir, we've run out of non-alcoholic Prosecco. We don't have any more of that. I feel like that- When they're like, sir, we've run out of non-alcoholic Prosecco. We don't have any more of that. I feel like that's gotta be worse for you than just drinking cocktails. Our lips were coated with red like we were toddlers drinking Kool-Aid. That's why I've never been a mocktail guy, because at a certain point it's like, well, I may as well just go get a fucking McFlurry after this. Like, if I'm just gonna drink a fucking, a mock mudslide.

Crushing mock mudslides, like four before the meal comes. It's the most juice I've had in a long, long time. I mean, when I'm on an airplane, I order an apple juice, but I only have the one. Last night I had four melon drop, you know, yuzu something, yuzu yuzis. But each one came with a scoop of a melon ball and a sprig of mint, as well as some sort of accoutrement.

Sounds delicious. I had the, they were like alcohol-free margaritas in a coupe with a salted rim. So I was having a bag of Tostitos worth of salt with every drink as I just licked around the rim. It got to a point where Rome, when the food came, was like, I think I need to switch to wine. And he ordered a glass of wine to slow it down a little bit. I'm driving later.

Yeah, I had to cut it. My blood sugar was too high. I was going into anaphylactic shock. It was too high. I was going into anaphylactic shock. It was fucking brutal. Yeah, I guess I would have like a, I would definitely have like a mocktail Bloody Mary. So I love Bloody Mary's. Yeah. And I would have a mocktail. I also think that's a drink that doesn't,

it doesn't change the taste that much. Not naively, I don't know, but like whether there's alcohol or not. Something about the vodka at the bottom of that, like a Bloody Mary just hits. Like that cold vodka mixed with that tomato soup. I don't like, I don't like them. So I don't know.

So good. But get this, we kind of consulted the waitress a little bit and Ron and I went back and forth about what we thought we should order loosely. But then I sort of took the reins a little bit and ordered a lot of food. Yeah, you do that. I ordered a lot of food and I was like,

we'll bring it home, we'll bring it home. And she was like, you know, you've ordered a lot of food. And I was like, okay, maybe we take off the side of broccoli. That's what I 86'd. Smart move. Not the third pasta. It was a fat boy ass thing. I don't like that, by the way.

I don't like going out to dinner and then it's like, let's just get a bunch of shit for the table. I'm like, no, I want my meal and I want to clean my plate. I feel you on that, but like some places, if a place has eight things you want to try and it's recommended to be shareable. I feel like that the best way to do it is not just get it. I like to commit to my plate. I used to be your way too, but this place was just one of those places you want to try a lot of different things. Understood. There's no star. Well, there was one star in the item, which is the lasagna, but the

lasagna was gigantic. Imagine if you just had a plate of lasagna for yourself also And it's like eight rolled up lasagna's that are based It's every one of them is basically a cinnamon bun full of lasagna and then you ate eight Cinnamon buns full of lasagna to your face. Yeah, that makes sense when we went to four Charles We had we shared meals and I was stuffed when we left. Yeah foods like it when we did that I remember being mad in the moment. And then, but I remember then when we got the, cause the guy kept on being like,

the burgers are really big. Like you're gonna want to share the burgers. And I was like, it's my fucking birthday. I want my own burger. But then, then the burgers came out and they were really big. And I remember I actually only ended up having like a sliver of a burger. Yeah.

Yeah. Fourth of a burger. So I Yeah. Fourth of a burger. So I ordered all that food. Yeah. And swung through the fences. And then when the bill came, Roan just gave her the car. She was like about to put it on the table

and Roan goes, here you go, here you go. Get out, go, go. And I was like, no, no, no, let's split it. Garçon, run along. Be gone. Chop, chop. Run that through your machine. And I couldn't even, I tried to split and he wouldn't let it.

And this is, this is, he's a scoundrel. Yeah. He's a scoundrel. He is an old fashioned man. He is. He likes to treat the table, which is one of my favorite things. Like I love people who do that. But what's the correct way for me to act?

Because this is not the first time he's done this. But you've also gotten shit for me before. Thanks, dude. Like a cappuccino. Which was very nice. I've taken the check sometimes when I'm like you ever been with people that are like they're like they're like Obsessed with like all right, Suzanne. Mo me $38.19 like shit like that and you're like dude, I'll just like yeah, but that's not too much

That's not what this was. I was ready to just put my card down and say just put it but I also had my wife But I you're gonna make you're gonna pay for his wife's dinner. That's what I mean I'll be slapping the face. Yeah, you're gonna make you're gonna pay for his wife's dinner. That's what I mean I'll be slapping the face. You're gonna pay for her mocktails It would have been weird long as I'm alive I pay you cover two-thirds of the meal and I'll cover Can we go two-thirds on his card one third? I wouldn't have won that and that's what I know the half-and-half would have been Equitable. Yeah, it's so much more fair than what you did. How much was it? A lot. We don't have to be shy.

It's like 200 something. We know how much we know how much grace made. I can't even imagine what you guys are pulling in. So it was a respectable little meal. 200. Quick note on that, by the way, one time I did tell these guys, I was just talking openly about what I make.

I totally forgot about this. Later that day, I told them all. And then later that day, Sass texts our group and he goes, dude, do you think that Francis- No, I texted you individually. Oh, me individually? He goes to me, he sends me the text. He goes, dude, do you think it France is making? And then he said the number I make is normal for Barstool

or like, is that pretty high? And I go- And then I unsent it. And then he unsent it and I wrote LOL, I'm pretty sure you meant to send that to Rhone. I don't even think it was that, I think it was like we were recording at my apartment and you guys left and then it was like 20 minutes after you guys left

My god, that's so fucking funny So but it is really That's completely normal for Barstool Yeah, not for me, but I'm fine. I'm just joking. It's it's it's high but you also make a ton of money doing stand-up Who me? Well, he does but you do make a ton of money doing stand-up. Who, me? Well, he does, but you do too. I don't make that much anymore. Yeah, not as much as he has.

No. No one makes. I'm getting by. I'm comfortable. Liz, do I look like a man that's not comfortable financially? I mean, you're wearing jeans for the first time in a long time. Jeans and a sweater. Rose came up in the denim department.

I'm like Aaron Rodgers' parents. Money changes people. What happened with Aaron Rodgers' parents? Did you not watch the documentary? No. It's worth watching. I heard it was good. I liked it a lot.

He's estranged from his whole family. Really? Yeah. It doesn't make me, the documentary didn't make me like him more. It didn't make me like it. If maybe it made me like him less really but There is an interesting a very interesting character there

Interesting I was watching I watched his game on Friday on Sunday and out the whole time I was like this is gonna be his last game and I was kind of like I've never loved Aaron Rodgers. I've always kind of thought he was a little annoying but then when I was thinking about it being his last game I was like fuck I hope he doesn't retire hope he stays just because it represents something in about your childhood or like no I think it's just because he balled out he balled out and I was like I think he's got another year in him you think he retires or you think he stays on another year on the Jets no he's definitely I don't think he stays with the Jets.

So where would he go? Steelers. They're talking about that, right? They said maybe he would go to the Steelers. Yeah. Why would the Steelers take him? They think he'll do better than Russell Wilson? Cause they never go, they don't, there's no,

they don't have a high enough draft pick to get a young quarterback, to get a rookie. So they would have to trade for somebody. And would he be their backup or would he be vying for the starting position? I don't know. He wouldn't go somewhere to be a backup, I don't think. No. I don't know, but that, I mean, he wouldn't be a bigger personality than Mike Tomlin.

I was telling Ron this last night, I think you'll like this. I'm on a dating app and where you can change your location when you like bounce around. And I was down in Nashville and you can just sort of scroll to see like who's nearby. Yeah. Just on like a map, other members of the app. And it shows you guys and girls.

And I was just like looking through this particular neighborhood that I was near and CJ Stroud. No, really? Yeah. In Nashville? Yeah, because they were playing the Titans, I think. He just left like a slug trail in Nashville,

just where he had been. Dude, it's so weird to see a starting star quarterback in the NFL's dating app profile. Do you mind revealing the app? Is it Raya? Yeah. Okay, cause I was talking to a comedian who, A comedian?

A comedian man. This was a while ago. I think it was- A male comedian? But it was right before the playoffs and it was the day before the Bills played. And they told me that they saw Stefan Diggs on Raya in New York city City the day before the game.

And I was like, no! Well, you can- Diggs go back to Buffalo! Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? You can set your location, you can set your location ahead of time. Okay.

You can say like, I'm traveling here. That makes sense. And then like theoretically set up a date for when you get to the house. He was probably buying bitches Greyhound tickets. Yeah. So he might have come from Buffalo to New York City afterwards and been like, I want to go on a date or something you get to the house. He was probably buying bitches Greyhound tickets. Yeah, so he might have come from Buffalo to New York City afterwards and been like, I wanna go on a date or something.

How about the Greyhound? That makes sense, cause I remember being like, completely, like my mind was spit. I was like, how is he in New York City? Yeah, you don't actually have to physically be there. You're playing the Chiefs tomorrow. I could set my location for Hawaii if I wanted. Interesting.

And then we saw, you're burying the lead, then we saw a gay pad on there with his profile set to straight women. We saw a you're burying the lead, then we saw Gay Pad on there with his profile set to straight women. We saw Gay Pad on there fucking with women underarm. Good for him. And I pay for the premium version of the app so you can actually see who likes you

before you liked them and CJ Stroud had liked me. Really? CJ Stroud is gay, Gay Pad is straight. This is an explosive app. That's crazy. CJ Stroud, more like BJ Stroud. You know what I mean? Maybe that's why he's in the whole sophomore slump,

because he's a deeply closeted homosexual. Something about these Houston quarterbacks and sexual deviancy. Yeah. But his app profile was so funny. He was like, he did his, this is how I read it. He did his version of like what I would read it. He did his version of what I would do to make a humble, bragging profile.

Football player. No, he didn't have, I think his job description might have been athlete. Oh really? Vaguely, and then the first four photos were just normal him, this, and then finally the fifth one was him coming out of the smoke

chest starting quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons. Yeah, dude. What girl in her right mind is not liking this fucking photo is Raya like pretty like you can't there's no like fake profiles on that. Like God no no no no God no. Yeah. Interesting. That's crazy. That's awesome. I would have been pumped. I would have shot him a message and be like,

yo dude, I'm not gay, but like huge fan. You can pay for this like super direct message thing that like, I don't know, you can actually really break through to someone's profile just in the event that they don't like you back or whatever. I've never used it. Stocking, they call that. Because it seems like a scary.

Love bombing. Like, hey, just so you know, I'm outside your house and someone's trying to break in. I paid $10,000 to send this to you. It's the nuclear option, but I could have sent him, I could have sent him a message that he would have seen. So it's for networking. It's a networking app. They have an him a message that he would have seen. So it's for networking. It's a networking app.

They have an option on there that's like just here for friends or whatever. Interesting. But I don't know why it would be on there. Just here for friends that hold a certain status. Yeah. I could have gone to Tinder for friends, but I didn't want to stoop that low.

I will say like when I do go on the geolocator thing and see like people and that's where you see the guys because otherwise I just get the girls. Yeah. The guys that are on the app are cool. Really? Yeah, they're like, it's cool dudes. They have cool jobs, artists and fucking music producers,

musicians. Well it has, doesn't it have to be something like that? I think that's a little like misleading at this point. Most, there's plenty of finance bros in there. You're a sales comedian? Yeah. It probably has to be a finance bro that they probably check their like net worth.

You probably have to be a rich ass finance bro to be on there. Or just like know someone who works at the company or something like that. That's how I think people work. You probably have to lay incredible pipe to be on there. Well, because don't you have to get like a recommendation? Yeah. How many recs do you need? I don't know.

How many sex tape clips do you need to submit? Yeah. That's probably what Dave shit leaked from. Raya. Just when he was applying for Raya. Yeah. We're gonna need to see five different positions and make it creative okay? No run-of-the-mill bullshit. I can see it. I could definitely see them. I mean imagine that if you have

substandard coxmen on your website the damage it could cause. You're not wrong. Damage it would cause. Yeah, I mean girls are going to start going to other apps. They're going to say I've been fucking around Raya. Yeah, girls are going to need to get fucked by a gay. Yeah, they're going to go to Grindr. Did you see that Jeopardy?

Yeah. That Jeopardy guy? The Jeopardy gay. That was hilarious. That was so funny. There was a dude on, was it Jeopardy? Yeah, it was Jeopardy. Yeah. And they asked him like, what is like the most popular dating app? And the answer was Tinder, but he spelled it T-I-N-D-R, like Grindr. Oh yeah. Like pretty much just revealing that he was gay.

Did they give him credit for it? No, I don't think so. He didn't get credit for that? Just by omitting the E? Oh, it's kind of a crucial Hang on. That was the final jeopardy question. No, I don't know Shots of it. Yeah, well, it's all screenshot. So I don't know if they gave me I think there was an X So there was an X through like wrong. I Could have back maybe it was a daily double because you write those down No, you don't write those down The only question that you write the answer to

is the final Jeopardy. This is like the new Jeopardy, though. This is like the pop culture one. It's gay Jeopardy. Yeah, this is gay Jeopardy. You write everything down, and you have to have the sassiest, wittiest comebacks. Like every, there has to be some kind of subtext suggesting

that you're gay within everything. It's a Jeopardy spelled with a G, like Joffrey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soft G for the J folk out there. Joffrey Baratheon. I saw the Bob Dylan movie. You finally saw it. Yeah, did you see it?

No. Great. Is it good? Phenomenal. Wow. What was it about? So many things. No, it was about, it's pretty much about like-

Did you need me to tell you what it wasn't about? My only complaint was that I wish it went more, I wish it went past where it goes, because I feel like that's when it really starts getting interesting. But I feel, I think the reason that it takes place when it takes place is because that's the most documented timeframe

of Bob Dylan's career before he kind of became like a mysterious person. Maybe they'll do a sequel. Maybe. And what was the name of the movie again? A Complete Unknown. Yeah, so maybe they'll be like a somewhat known. Yeah, they could.

A little bit more known. Yeah. Yeah, like a Rolling Stone. Starting to be known. Yeah. Fully known, definitely known., but it takes play it starts with Him and then they'll do the third version return of the known Where he goes and finds himself on a planet populated by small furry bears

Yeah, it starts with him moving to New York City. Learns that Johnny Cash is really his father. And it's just Jar Jar Binks and Johnny Cash. Yeah? Yeah. Well, they had that great version of Girl from the North Country together. It's like one of my favorite songs ever. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah, it was, it starts with when he moves to New York City and meets Woody Gunthery and Pete Seeger. And then he goes to, and then it ends with, in 1965,

when he goes electric at the Newport Folk Festival. That's the climax? Yeah. That he plugs in an electric guitar? Well, it was a huge deal. Oh shit. Yeah, people were furious. Yeah, you got booed off stage.

People were furious. Pete Seeger almost took an ax to the cables. What the heck? But then people got on board. Well, yeah, because the songs that he was playing was- OK, spoilers, spoilers. Oh, I mean, this is pretty well known. If you're a Dylan fan, you already knew this.

Which I'm not. I'm not. So I want to watch the movie and be surprised. Maybe this will give me a newfound respect. It's like when that Nate Bargatzi bit. Yeah. About history books or history movies. Watching you reading history books, you're like, no way. I want to watch the movie and be surprised. Maybe this will give me a newfound respect That made part yeah history books Yeah, surprised yeah What was I gonna say oh, I just finished the Steve Jobs biography and Dylan Dylan was like a gigantic

And he was Bob Dylan is his hero really yeah, and was was like inspiration behind a lot of, you know, the iTunes store. Like if you talk about the innovations that Steve Jobs had, I would have said like iPod, you know, iPhone, computers, whatever. You forget that like the iTunes store was the first marketplace music aggregator that actually went from the pirating music model of net or of a Nascar, Kazaa, Limewire, etc. Where

everyone was just downloading music illegally and getting all kinds of fucked up versions of songs and artists were not getting paid to paying artists again for music. And now they're getting like 0.0004 cents a song. Yeah, I think it's like if you get like a million streams, it's like two cents. That can't be. No, I think it's like something insane like that

on Spotify at least. A million streams is probably not, it's less than $10,000 for sure. It's like a few thousand dollars. No, I think it's way less. Okay, maybe. Unless you know, I might be wrong. I'm not sure, I don't know.

I was under the impression that people make no money from streaming anymore. Portnoy has me in a 360 deal. It's what? Three to five thousand for every million streams on Spotify. Interesting. Oh, great. Well, it's a lot better than what I said. That's for sure. Well

Okay, I just need to plug a friend of mine really quick, okay Doing plugs. Hey guys, let's take a second and talk about game time game time is the number one ticketing partner of barstool sports and the number one ticketing partner of Son of a boy dad. Of course I am always on game time. I was just looking at game time tickets for the Eagles game and of course I'm clicking on game time picks. It's right there next to you can sort it how you want it and then bam right next to that right in the middle game time picks and then instead of looking at a billion options it is windowed down to just the best options just the best seats just

the best prices just the exact deals that I'm looking for it could be right there right behind the bench right behind the Eagles bench if you want you could be right at the club level you see every part of it you could be up in the in the bleachers with the creatures you know what I mean you could be anywhere you want and that's with game time. Game time picks is the way to go and it's the best. It really is the best. I'm going out to this Eagles game,

thanks to the good folks over at Game Time. And you know you have to download the Game Time app today. Use code BOYDAD to easily score great deals with the new Game Time Picks feature. What time is it? Game time. Game time. Game time, you guys knew that already. Let's get back to the action.

So I'm just gonna plug my friend who I met last night. I was parking my city bike outside of the stand and these two lovely young African-American men came up to me. So immediately I was like, I don't have anything. But they were like hey are you going to the bad bad Santa bad bunny it was a musician bad bunny bad morning not little boozy it's definitely bad baby bad bunny show boozy who can

you see who was playing at that music place that's right next to the stand last night? Irving Plaza? Lil Baby, Lil Baby. Oh, Lil Baby. Lil Baby? Lil Baby had a free show last night. Damn, I would have loved that. And they go, hey man, are you going

to the Lil Baby concert? I was like, I'm wearing my Hermes coat. I was like, no. I think you guys got the, you started looking behind you. Wearing my Comedy Connection backpack? Yeah, who me? Sass me Sass me me

And I was like no they were like do you like his music and I said yeah, I lied You don't like little baby never heard it. You definitely have I'm sure I have I'm going baby on baby That sounds good But I'm sure I have. I'm going baby on baby. That sounds good. But I'm not familiar. Bop. That's dub. Yeah, dub baby is I'm going baby on baby. I'm going baby on baby. Yeah, that's dub baby. I needed some shit with some bopping it. That's dub baby. That's dub baby. Oh, lil baby. That's what I've been saying. I've been thinking dub baby the whole time. Now you're gonna try to play it off like you didn't just completely confuse them. Turns out you just aren't as big of a little baby fan as we...

No I'm not a little baby fan at all. Okay. Therefore I would not be going to his free show last night. Yeah I didn't. I said I liked his music because I've heard the name but I didn't... I was worried they were gonna quiz me. Yeah no no I'm not a little baby fan. I'm a dub baby fan.

But then I said I do like his music and they were like, oh, so you like rap? And I was like, I love rap. It's all I work out to. And then he said, here, follow me on Instagram. Like you should listen, if you need some new music for your workouts, we said, check me out and I said sure and he took my phone and

plugged in his YouTube channel and his name is Smoky Margiela like a Maison Margiela but Smoky Margiela and Smoky like Smoky and kind of like Snoopy and he's got I mean that some of these songs have 230,000 views. Damn. 157,000 views. He's got 80,000 subscribers to his YouTube channel. Let's fucking go. And he was a really nice guy.

And, ooh, Smooky, Margiela, Walk Rock. I mean, these are highly produced music videos. All right, everybody. Jam with me. I mean these are highly produced music videos. Big smoke. We need to get this in front of Lil Baby. Stat. I'm sold. I don't need to hear a word of it. This is it. Cool. All right, so pretty good.

So check out Smoky. S-M-O-O-K-Y. Space Margiela. M-A-R. S-M-O-O-K-Y, space Margiela, M-A-R-G-I-E-L-A-A. Pretty good. Actually pretty fucking good. And he was really cool guy. You think he would come in and give us a little tiny desk? Dude, we would absolutely be able to get this guy on the podcast. And when he was talking to me, I was like, you know,

he's putting his stuff in and he couldn't really figure out, he And when he was talking to me, I was like, putting his stuff in and he couldn't really figure out, he kept misspelling his own name and we couldn't figure out, I was trying to search for him and he was like, here, let me find it. So I initially, it didn't come up initially and I was like, dude, you gotta work on your YouTube SEO. And he's like, okay, well, that's cool, thank you.

And we started talking, but I didn't want to indicate to him that I could, you know. Help him with the SEO. Really be a big boost to his career because that felt like it would be braggadocious. Yeah. So I'm just doing him this solid because I want to see him reach that next level.

We're basically gifting him like 100,000 subs by mentioning his name. Check out Smooky Margella. I think if Smooky's listening to this, Smooky, if you're out there, you should come on the pod. That'd be fun. I got the pod in the coop. How far do you think, do you think we'd be able to get Timothy Chalamet on the podcast?

No. Realistically speaking? I think we're just, if we asked two weeks ago, I think we could have, but now everybody knows about him. So I think it's on us to find the next Timothee Chalamet and then get it. I think he was pretty big before this. I feel like everybody has just found out about him. The cat's had the bag that Timothee Chalamet exists and I think we just have to find whoever the next one is. Tom Holland just got engaged

to Zendaya. They got engaged? But he cannot be as charming. I think he is. You think Holland's as charming as Chalamet? Mm-hmm. That's crazy. I think he might be more charming.

He's got a British accent. That's like saying Kobe's better than LeBron. Dude, Holland has a British accent. Yeah, that's worse. That knocks off points. No, it doesn't. Not the right kind. Let me get a cup of water. What?

I said Daya! Do what you fancy getting married? Yeah, I want that fucking accent on my podcast. That's not his accent. It'll be our lowest viewed episode. I tried to listen. I just can't stand that fucking voice. I reckon I'm Spider-Man now! stand that fucking voice. I reckon I'm Spiderman now. Say any of you guys got any water around here? Zip zaps up now I'm flying around the scene. Have you guys seen those two old guys that rap? The British guys? No. Yes, something in Baz? They're amazing. Yeah they are great. They're really good. It's not Porgy and Bass, it's something in Baz. Lerman and Baz, they are great. They're really good. It's not porgy and bass. It's something in bass. Something in bass. Mm-hmm.

Lerman and bass. They're old British guys that kind of like, have these grime sounds. Yeah, that's really good. No, it's not ringing any bells for me. I guess you're not in on the culture, bro. No. I'm not at all. You haven't been on the Sunrise community.

You guys ever watch, you guys watch the World Series of Darts finale, the championship? Luke Littler won. Young kid, right? 17 years old. Yeah, he ran away with it. He bet he beat Michael Van Gerwig.

Michael Van Gerwig? Yeah, Michael Van Gerwig, who by the way, so this guy, these guys look, you learn darts in a pub. Right? Right. Eating cheese curds and drinking Guinness. So they all have the same body type. They all look like shit. And Michael Van Gerwin is the scariest one of them all.

And I started watching some videos of Michael Van Gerwin and there, cause you never hear, I've never heard him speak before and his voice is fucking terrifying. What's he sound like? He's like, good thoughts son, good thoughts laddie. Is he Irish? No, he's English I think.

But he's just terrifying. I don't know how to describe it. I was watching this video. You think we get him on the podcast? I think we have a better chance of him or Luke Littler than we do of Chalamet What about the Magnus Carlson? Magnus would be my favorite guest. I would love that you and Magnus would fucking butt heads If I know Magnus as well as I think I do. He'd show up five minutes late in jeans.

Yeah, you two would not get along. knock it give you the handshake without looking Yeah, we figure all the pieces. I think me and Chalamet would be boys and I think it's time that we connect Yeah, everybody's saying that though. Everybody's saying the same thing. You're under his spell, bro I did you know that I'm falling under the gaze of Chalamet the bussing guys were obsessed with him They were like all about it. Really? Cause he got the pick on. Yeah, they liked that.

Everyone was like, I think he'd be my friend. And that's what you're all wrong. They're all wrong though. That's like what is happening to you. He is being charming to win you over and you have been manipulated. If I know Chalamet as well as I think I know Chalamet, he would not like Taylor and Will at all.

At all. He would love me. No, he would charm the shit out of Taylor and Will. I could see me and Chalamet. And he would charm the shit out of you. I could see me and Chalamet on my new dual monitor setup, just running LAN on Black Ops 6 for hours. No, he would get a 30 kill streak and you'd be like,

what do you want to play again tomorrow? No split screen. And he'd be like, I have pussy to fuck. I'd be like, all right, you go do that. I'll be back here. I'd be like, dude, come through after you're done fucking pussy after you're done blowing up some pussy. Come come run LAN with me for a couple hours.

I'm starting to get and that would work like because, cause we would, that's like a healthy, we'd have healthy boundaries. Well, but how would you bust his balls? Like how would you balance the power dynamic of him being super successful in every single way? And then you also being successful in your own way, but like, I'd call him like, I'd probably call him gay, something cool like that. I'd be like, dude, you're so gay. Shallow gay. I'd probably call him gay, something cool like that. I'd be like, dude, you're so gay. Shallow gay?

Yeah, I call him shallow gay. But you don't think that he would like, sniff that out by you, call you gay first, and then you'd be forced to take it to a non-cool gay term? I don't think he would think to call me gay. You don't think Symmethe Shalome, the one we've seen over the last two weeks, could think up calling you gay?

No. That's really selling your friends or no phones rule So like he his PR team wouldn't be able to like help him out with like insults He would come up with calling you gave really really quick No, I think you have that himself. I Don't I don't think he needs a PR team to call you guy. I think he would need some help to come for the king I Think he needs some can you even rap what he what he wrapped that is high school talent show little B No, the base God is that what he wrapped? I think so, right where he was like now chop a

I thought he did something. I know he got a You got a video about nighted by the base God He's wearing like all pink and there's like a dance team and he's like, now chop, now chop. I remember when the base God followed me on Twitter when I was in high school and I was great, great day. What tweet did you get? He follows like 1.3 million people.

What tweet did you get? I don't know. I think I just replied to one of his tweets and then it said Lil B the base God liked your tweet and then Lil B the base God followed god liked your tweet and then will be The base god followed you But it's like Obama following it is exactly like that. Actually, I think it's less impressive I think he loved the base god follows way more people than Obama

I'm starting to get requests from girls who want to go out with you now. They're doing it to me. They're saying hey What do it? What will it take for me to get a date with SAS? Nothing. Shit ain't happening. Period. My boys A. Don't even try it. I'm all about the grindset and shallow may. Don't even try anything. Say try and look like shallow.

We'll see what I can do. Do you play acoustic? Let's hear you Dylan. His Dylan was insane. Was it actually really good? Dude, it was like you never like, you like forget that it's Timothy Shalime. Like you're like, oh, that's Bob Dylan. I don't know from the trailers, I wasn't that convinced.

Dude, his like the mannerisms, like everything is perfect. If you didn't just hit him with the mannerisms. Manorisms. That's when you have a tick that results in a stroke. We done? Manorisms is such like a battle rap word. Like someone would say mannerism. I can't do these jeans.

So uncomfortable. Maybe a man-ur-ism is when you have a stroke doing something really manly like chopping wood. Can we see what your boxers are? Just top of the back of the boxer? No. Cause I already saw them. They're yellow.

Yeah. This is like a sick print. It's like, ah real monsters. I think they're like tacos or some shit. Yeah, or like Ren and Stimpy or something like that sick print. It's like are really like tacos or some shit Yeah, or like ren and stimpy or something like that. No, it's something like generic because they're Old Navy generic talk you look good today. I like your look. Yeah, I like it too. You're great I like the look I hate the feel you know That's the price of beauty though

Not not with the feel at all eight inch You look like the feel fucking rubber band around my stomach Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels though brother. Yeah, I don't feel skinny. I feel fat as fuck No, bro, you don't look fat These jeans are making me feel like I weigh 400 pounds. I also ate curry right before I got here, so Why? It was a healthy curry. Thai curry. Yeah, no Indian Indian curry, but it wasn't like Indian curry it was like British Indian vegetables and Very healthy and very tasty

Carrots cucumbers. Where'd you go? I Did not go anywhere Home curry. Oh, okay. Got it. It's called get a day Home curry? Oh, okay, got it. From a place called Indey. Indey. Oh, I've been there. That place is good. Great. It's really good. Great. Fast, casual Indian food. INDEE. It's really good. It's like a little, it's like if Naya had curry. Uh-huh. It's great. Very fun. Curry, there should be more fast food curry spots. You know that in the city, ancient city of Pompeii there are fast food there's fast food all right dude I had an uber driver the other day that I got in the uber reeked of weed reeked why you didn't want to try to try to like dry off

or something no like I was like take some gum like at first I was like either someone was in the car before me that was that had smoked weed or this guy just smoked weed. Uh-huh. Rapidly came to the conclusion that that the Uber driver had just smoked weed. We talked for 30 minutes straight and it started out with like, how you like living in the city bro? And I was like, oh, it's good.

I like it. And he's like, yeah, man, I've been here for like 21 years. Love New York, I'm out in Brooklyn though, love Brooklyn. And then we pull up to, I don't know, I can't do the voice, he was Muslim. No, I love the voice you just do. You're probably not getting the impression. Keep going, keep going.

Whatever you're doing is working for me. But we, so then we pull up and there's a Burger King right next to where we're stopped at a light. And he goes, it's like silent for like 30 seconds. And then he goes, you like fast food? That's when I was like, this dude is high as fuck right now. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, call me crazy, man.

I'm going Burger King over McDonald's every day of the week Then add and then I'm like, yeah and then he gives me goes I guess I worked at a Burger King for a while and he's like he's like let me give you a little trick like you Go you want to get the impossible burger have them cook it next to the whopper because it gets like you get the the flavor From the whopper, but you're still just eating all veggies And then he's like, he's like, and they'll do it cause like they have to like it. Their whole thing is like, we do it your way. And I was like, dude, I forgot that was ever

even their slogan. And then, and then just, and then we're like talking about fast food conversation comes to an end. And then he just goes, you like Danny McBride? And I was like, yeah, I love that. And then I'm like, at first I was like, this sucks. This is gonna be a long ride. And then I was like, dude, I love Danny. And then I'm like, at first I was like, this sucks. This is gonna be a long ride. And then I was like, dude, this guy's just the man.

Like this guy's awesome. And then we just talked about Danny McBride for like 20 minutes and we talked about comedy. I never even said that I do comedy. It was literally like, he said that he picked up someone from the cellar and he was like, I was the show. And they were like, it was good. He goes, it was good until the bitch ruined it. And I was like, I was the show. And they were like, it was good. He goes, he goes, it was good until the bitch ruined it.

And I was like, what? And he was like, I guess some girl in the front row started crying. Oh, I thought the first female comedian. And he was like, man, it's so crazy. Like people get so sensitive or it always comes back to that. He was like, people get so, it's so everyone's so sensitive. He's like, like I'm Muslim.

I go to comedy shows, they make fun of Muslims, I'm laughing harder than anyone else. And I was like, yeah. And he told me to watch Vice Principals with Danny McBride. Have you seen it yet? No, but I'm gonna watch it.

Oh, you've never seen that? Oh, it's really good. I told him he should watch Always Sunny. He said he's tried, but he said it felt like a show that he had to watch from the beginning, and I said, it is a show you have to watch from the beginning. I guess you're right. Because it's funnier when you watch the characters develop into being crazy. Great ride though.

Five stars, 20% tip, of course. Of course. That's all you gave him after all that? He gave you so much. 20% tip is a lot of money. That's normal. I would have thought that such a bond would have made you feel- What you want me to do, empty the bank account? 25%.

You're talking about you're having Rowan pay for all your meals and you're telling me I should tip more? I mean, you're raking it in, dude. No I'm not. Spread the love around. I'm not. Speaking of which, please come see me in Bloomington, Minnesota this weekend. You think that the beautiful Mall of America, do you think that he just pulled up next to a Burger King and just like made up his mind as soon as he got there? Like you think that he always had the opinion Burger King over McDonald's? No, not even close. Like he could have pulled up next to a pet boy and just been-

I kind of spaced out during the Burger King talk cause it went on for an insanely long period of time. Like 10 minutes had passed and he was like, and you know, like, he's like, some of those McDonald's patties, like you're looking at them, they look like frisbees, they're so thin. And he's like, the burger, at least they do it right. They cook it on a grill, it's nice and juicy.

And I was like, dude, we could stop for Burger King if you want Burger King. You could have bought Burger King. I do, when he said, do you like fast food, I'm on my phone, he goes, Harry, do you eat fast food? He said your name? Yeah.

And I looked up and then I looked to the right and I saw the Burger King and I was like, he's about to ask if we can stop at Burger King. Would you have? Probably. Where were you? I was in Manhattan. No, you weren't. No you weren't. Or I was in I don't remember. Q you? This was last week. Queens? Maybe. Or Brooklyn. Queens or Brooklyn. I don't remember. Had to be Brooklyn or Queens There's no way you're just passing random Burger Kings that you could have stopped at. Oh I might have been in Brooklyn now

That think about it because we were going back Because I that where I got picked up. He was like how do you like living in Brooklyn? And I just went along with it. I was like love it. I Was like it's fucking great. I love it, and then I then we made our way to my apartment Well because he probably wouldn't have even liked you if you said you've been in Manhattan We made our way to my apartment. Well, because he probably wouldn't have even liked you if you said if I said Manhattan Like I live in manhattan. He loves Brooklyn though said he lives in a nice residential get out of my fucking car I'll try to do his impression of my impression of your impression because he had a he was a muslim man But he didn't have a heavy accent because he's been living in new york for 20 years said he moved here when he was in high school

Damn, where did he move from? Egypt, uh, no accent because he's been living in New York for 20 years. Said he moved here when he was in high school. Damn. Where did he move from? Egypt. No. Pakistan. But no, he grew, he was born in Pakistan and then he lived somewhere else. But it wasn't Egypt.

But he said that his country was invaded, was colonized by the British. Yeah. So wouldn't that be India? India, Pakistan, I think both were. Yeah. So, wouldn't that be India? India, Pakistan, I think both were. Yeah. And then he was like going off about the French. He was like, a lot of people, he's like, and I'm not saying I would ever want to be a slave,

but if I had to be, I'd definitely rather be a British slave than a French slave. He was going off about how the French are crazy. That's a long time ago. Yeah. Actually, not as long as you'd think. Colonialism didn't really end until the 60s or 70s, maybe 60s, yeah. I think it was until Dillian went electric at the Newport Festival.

Is that what it was? We're about to bring back colonialism. I'm pretty sure the US is gonna have Canada and Greenland by next year. It's also possible that even now colonialism hasn't really ended. I mean, there's still territories and territorialities and all that.

I can't wait for us to get Canada. Municipalities. What are you gonna do with Canada? Oh, just for the fishing? It's just gonna be, like I'm going to Toronto in a couple of weeks, I won't have to use my passport. Going up there and riding four wheelers will be sick. I know, that's cool. Drifting. I mean, I could like move to Canada.

Now that would be on the table. Then like Toronto becomes an option. Well, I still wanna be able to pay for my healthcare. So it's like, I wanna move to Canada, but I don't wanna have to get free healthcare. Oh, I don't think we take, I think they take over our system. Yeah. That's what I mean.

I don't think we use their system. That's why I don't, that's what's stopping me from doing it now. I want to pay for my own health care. So once we take over, I'll finally be able to move there and pay for my own health care. Yeah, 100%. Do you remember when we talked about salmon on the pod? That could have been a number of episodes. I think I was talking about the Norwegian organic farm salmon that I often buy. Yes.

There was a fisherman who goes up to Alaska on a big boat every spring. And he hit me up and he was like, dude, I'll send you 40 pounds of wild Alaskan salmon. Yeah. He's going to send me 40 pounds of it. Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. I said, remember, I said I couldaskan salmon. Yeah. He's gonna send me 40 pounds of it. Yeah, that's what a lot of people do. I said, remember I said I could get you salmon?

Can you get me some salmon? I probably could. 40, what are you gonna do with 40 pounds? I couldn't get you 40. Free, frozen, frozen. Where are you gonna? I'll get an industrial freezer and I will eat salmon every single night

for the entire year. People, they go on fishing trips in Alaska and then they ship themselves back like just like a ridiculous amount of so I want So much salmon. Yeah, that would make me so happy to have that much salmon wild salmon from Alaska Healthiest protein in the world. Holy shit, dude What makes it the healthiest protein in the world is just so pure and clean clean Salmon alone is like one of the healthiest proteins in the world. I made that halibut last week

Cuz it's fresh. I made that halibut last week. Cause it's fresh? I made that halibut last week. My apartment still smells so badly of it. It's, I don't know what to do. I don't know what happened. Seeped into the- Probably have like a dead rat in your apartment somewhere. No, it's fish. If you walk in, you'd say this is an aquarium

that someone unplugged. I think it's because you can't get a cross breeze. Could be that. I think- Could be your lack of cross breeze. I think it's because you can't get a cross breeze. Could be that. It could be your lack of cross breeze. I think it's my dishwasher and I don't really know what to do. I might need to clean out the filter or perhaps run it on a deep clean cycle.

Well, how much did you tip your maintenance guy this past year? Why don't you just do a bleach load? Never seen him. A BL, a BL smooth. Do a bleach load. Bleach load? Yeah.

I could do that. Is that clean, that cleans the dishwasher? I believe so. Could be wrong. What you wanna do is you wanna mix your own nut and bleach. I don't have a dishwasher, I don't make 250K, so. What was your reaction when you saw that?

Not really anything. I was just like, damn. You're just numb. I think that was actually my reaction. They went damn 250 Yeah, that was it people were like people thought I was gonna like lose my mind i've come to terms Your god's greatest servant i've come to i've come to my own terms. I know what i'm worth I'm worth what they're paying me. I'm not worth 250K. You're not gonna go on Theo Vaughan and win. Exactly.

You're like Dave hit it on the head. Generous maybe. Yeah, yeah. No race this year, but that was generous. Yeah, we came to an agreement and that will be the agreement. Yeah, exactly. Forever.

Forever. There will never be a race and I'm be the agreement. Yeah, forever. Forever. No, there will never be a raise. And I'm fine with that. The economy goes up. It's just the value of your salary is like a time capsule. As inflation happens and the dollar weekends, you're you stay the same, like a rock in the water. Wait until they see wait until you boys see what I'm about to do with my Tesla stock. Doubled. I bought Tesla in the spring doubled. You're basically on like a I'm telling you guys Tesla stock is like the new Bitcoin.

Tesla stock has been that way for 10 years. How much do you have? Zero. Bought it right before the stock split, went up, dumped it. Now it's worth five times that and I don't have anymore. Buy more. I actually don't know. I'm looking to be 100% Tesla by 2026.

Tesla for the first time in its history did not report higher revenue in sales this year than it did the previous year because competitors have started to take up more of the market share. So you're saying it's time to sell. And a big part of that is because Elon Musk has shifted his focus away from Tesla. The politics. Into Twitter and politics.

So should I sell? So should I sell? I don't know. I don't know anything about stocks you got to know something No, you went to Harvard. I Really don't know anything. I just know what I read where are we on a time on this one three hours Should we smash a parlay? Are we pivoting to another one? What do you guys want to do? Let's pause. I don't know how much more I haven't yeah

I don't have I don't have anything. I don't know if much more I have in me. Yeah, I don't have anything in the tank. I don't know if I have another episode in me. Okay. I'm totally on it. I'm so bloated. I can't sit here anymore. You're bloated? From the Indians?

Yeah. I literally feel like I can't breathe. It was just vegetable? I haven't been comfortable the entire episode. Are you serious? Yeah. What the fuck? Dude, who eats Indian curry

for lunch? It was great. I bet it tasted great. Well, why did you get curry? You had a hankering? I had a hankering for curry. The body hankers. And I thought it was like, it's not

that bad for you. That I'm not saying it's bad. It has curry has a lot of cream in it. Yeah. Yeah. That's definitely what did it well the the funniest part is that I was I was bloated before I had the curry and then I just doubled down you doubled I woke up with you pooped on top of the clog yeah exactly I wonder what made curry become so popular in India? Obviously you have lots of milk and spices.

But why did that become the main sauce? Just because it's so damn tasty? Yeah, probably so damn tasty. I might get it for dinner too. I just started reading my newest book. I just started a new book. Yeah, what is it? Grant.

Ulysses? Yes. Holy shit. The Ron Chernow Biographies of Ulysses S. Grant. That's fun. What do you think that he was like? The 12th best Civil War general probably? I'm only like 12 pages in.

But I think he's a lot higher than that. Sherman. I think he's pretty high. Joseph X. I don't know enough about it. He saved the union. Yeah, but just because he was in charge. That's like, that's like Sirianni being like the coach of the year.

They were, they were falling back. I don't think anyone's said those words ever. That's what I'm saying. It's because of his coordinators that he was such a beast Did you? Jeffrey Lurie was like Like howie roseman is Abraham Lincoln and then Nick Sirianni is Ulysses S grant just like Okay, like was he actually great did either of you boys happen to stumble upon my playoff prediction?

Yes that no the Bucks win the Super Bowl, but I had another one where I said what I think is actually gonna happen I had the Eagles winning the Super Bowl so you get to make multiple predictions I had but I literally said it in the tweet I said what I want to happen verse what I think is going to happen. Yes, you're allowed to do that What do you what do you think is gonna happen? I think the Eagles are known the Super Bowl and who do you think what do you want to happen the Bucks? I want the Bob everyone wants the yeah, but your lines. I'd love to do that. What do you think is going to happen? I think the Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl. And who do you think, what do you want to have in the Bucs? I want the Bucs.

Everyone wants the Bucs. Yeah, the Bucs are going to win the Super Bowl. Bucs are the lions. I'd love to have the lions. I said Bucs. Who the fuck wants the Bucs? Why would you guys want the Bucs? Who doesn't love Baker Mayfield?

Baker Mayfield, Baker. I just bought a Baker Mayfield. I bought a, actually it should be at my apartment right now. Jersey? Now a plaque of his jersey. Framed jersey? Yes. Did you actually? Yeah. It's not the full Jersey. It's like the number and his name in a frame That's cool. I know I also bought a Jamar Chase Jersey

Collector because there was a sale like Darren Rovel there was a sale on the fanatics website I had you're just making a man cave out of your apartment Yeah, I live by myself. Why would I not? What do you have flowers everywhere for your like Timothy Chalamet courting ass? I have I have Norm Macdonald Bob Dylan Now I have Baker Mayfield you have a Norm Macdonald Jersey. No, I have a Norm Macdonald wooden carving Right, and I have my Bob Dylan painting. That was very expensive that I bought. 300 bones. Wow.

What do you hope to learn about US Grant? I don't know. I love the fact, I mean, I know a little bit about him, but not that much. But I know he was like pretty, I think he did pretty, he was like bottom of his class at West Point or Annapolis. And this is your goat? Well, I don't know. He's not my goat, but I've heard he's just much more remarkable than people think. Stonewall Jackson, now that's a fucking biography I'm reading.

Yes. Was that the guy who fomented the riots at the gay club? Yeah. Stonewall Inn. Stonewall Jackson was just a dude in a Speedo with suspenders on yeah and like dancing to YMCA just knocking out cops We're like to to be me plays in the background you guys know the the Stonewall in like the the That little park

Yeah, right up right by the train station Mm-hmm, and there's like benches and stuff and statues of like people from the Stonewall Inn massacre or riot. A couple of years ago, my friends came to visit me for New Year's Eve. My buddy Nate stayed an extra day because that was like the only flight that he could get. Is that the fat one from the end of the bench?

No, and I had to go do the yak. But who's Nate? You know Nate, and I had to go do the yak. Is Nate one of your friends? Yeah, and he went to go get a coffee and he got locked out of our apartment and he couldn't get back in, so he just sat at the Stonewall Inn Memorial

for like four hours straight, just outside, just really soaking it all in. Just respecting history? Yeah. I guess I respect that. All right, let's get this leg going Let's get this. I actually already have one But it's uh, are we in on it? Like do we all get a piece of it if it hits I get like notifications about our reddit Because i'm a moderator so I get get to delete things and shut things down. And I just got one popular post in Son of a Boy Dad, review the five comments on the

post, Libertard or MAGA. What is the breakdown? I don't know. I guess they're having a debate about which side they're on. About which side to be on? Or like an internal debate of which one to join. I have to delete my Reddit history. Because I was getting into some jabs, I was in a lot of forums. Let's just say Ludvarn is getting a lot of backing.

When I was going into the Fantasy Football Championship, I was posting on, like, the fantasy advice reddits. You were? And you still lost? And I still lost. That's what you get for crowdsourcing. Which way do you think Sass, Francis, and Rowan Lane? And then the top comment is, who cares? What is this?

It's our Reddit. Why do you read that? Because I'm the moderator. Oh, you have to moderate it? Yeah, I can make sure everyone's behaving. So they don't like reveal, you know, that I'm dating CJ Stroud? Yeah, stuff like that, yeah. Anytime something positive said about me or you,

he is quick to strike it to the record. Never. Never. And then he's like, have you guys seen Sass's latest bit that Amy Schumer's stealing? She's a real bitch, huh? I literally think I've deleted like one post ever And I don't even remember what it was. Okay chargers at Texans. What's the spread? Chargers money line Chargers minus three and the over under 42 and a half

I mean now I feel like we got like insider trading information now now that we know that fucking- CJ's on the prowl. CJ Stroud's fucking around in Nashville. He's on the prowl. Yeah, draining himself of all of his testosterone. Do you think Charger's just money line or do you want a fat, do you want the three points? No, I want money line. I also-

You good with that? Charger's money line? I don't know, CJ was looking pretty good in his profile pic. He's been having a shit year. I think he's too concerned with fucking and not concerned. Exactly. Rises up in the playoffs. No. Chargers are going to win. I actually think I remember now his bio said, child of God. Yeah, that sounds more like it. All right, Chargers. Yeah, that sounds more like it. Chargers money line now for you. That's a gift to you.

Chargers, Steelers at Ravens. I like the Steelers nine and a half. A lot. I don't hate it. Might be better the week honestly. Okay, division rivals in the playoffs. You think the Ravens are gonna win by 10. Okay. Broncos at the bills. You think the Ravens are gonna win by 10? Okay, Broncos at the Bills. I think the over on this one. I think this is gonna be an absolute drag out fucking.

I agree with that. I in my personal in my personal lay, I took the Bills minus eight and a half didn't feel good about it at all. I think that 46 and a half is low enough that even if there is whether this game is going to be a drag down. It's gonna be an offensive showdown. An offensive showdown. Yes, which is what we look for in the playoffs. Is that okay with you?

Okay, yep. Francis, I'll let you take the reins on this next one, the Eagles Packers. Eagles getting four and a half points. At home. 45 and a half. I'm gonna go Eagles on that one. Yep, that's what I did as well.

Eagles with the four and a half? yeah yeah copy the commanders at Bucks commanders at Bucks bucks getting three I like bucks on that bucks three yeah bucks three okay bucks to cover three and then game of the week Minnesota at their Rams Minnesota Minnesota give me the points yeah I don't mind Vikings minus one and a half yeah I'm just haven't shown me much at all this year copy Cooper's nowhere to be found this is light this is so this is plus 3900 plus plus 3902 excuse me. Okay so I'll put down 150 to win 6,000. Damn! I put 15. Well we're splitting this four, five ways. Okay yeah. The only thing I had different than what you guys did was I took the bill spread which is probably a

mistake. I think that that's a nice parlay. I think I think anything over six and a half in the playoffs is kind of crazy. Especially division rivals. Yeah. I mean, the fucking the Steelers could win it. No, no, no. This game. I'd love that.

It would be exciting. I'd love for the cause I, I, I don't think the Ravens got it. Yeah, the Ravens lost a bunch of games. They did. And I'm seeing a lot of proper. There's a there's an overwhelming amount of Lamar propaganda on the timeline these days. They wanted to be MVP badly. Yeah, they wanted to be mb3. It's not happening. Well, it'd be hilarious if he wins MVP and then they lose in the first round I'd love it. I'm now that now that like

It's playoffs. I'm just I'm just rooting for chaos if George Pickens goes demon mode, then they're winning that Yeah, dude, George Pickens is fucking weird. And so is Malik neighbors. What do you think is the correlation between? insane levels of autism and being a wide receiver in the NFL? Cause no other position acts the way that these guys act. Why Malik neighbors? They did an interview with Malik neighbors and they were like, did you hear they're keeping a, keeping the same, same staff?

And he's like, good for them. I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking know. He could be having a bad day, dude. Yeah, but you can also talk. You could just be like, hey, I'm having a bad day. I don't feel like doing this right now, but it's not.

All right. I didn't realize you're this enlightened being that you're just going to be like. What other positions have you seen players do that? Every position, every type of professional athlete. Quarterback is like the hardest position by a mile and none of those guys are divas but they Also require quarterbacks to be like presidential candidates like you have to be like the face of the division or like the face of a team and Have a car dealership if you want to be a quarterback like they won't even draft you if you like I guess that's true

They gotta go into hospitals and hand-signed footballs to but you don't think Aaron Rodgers Sometimes no, I think Aaron Rodgers is a little bit like that. I think Joe I think Joe burrows a little bit like that Certainly. Yeah, but I not to the level of the wide receivers are mm-hmm wide receivers are fucking nuts Imagine how good And they're like they're delusional imagine how good Malik neighbors would be if he had a decent quarterback Oh, I have no I have no problems with Malik. If he has a decent quarterback next year, he's gonna have like 130 catches.

Yeah, Malik is unreal. 140 catches. Future Patriot. You wanted to trade Joe Milton. We're trading Joe Milton for Malik neighbors. You heard it here first. It's a great trade. Fair enough. For the Giants?

Yeah. But who's Milton throwing it to then? They'll draft a receiver. They did a good job drafting a receiver last year. So just keep your high draft pick, draft the receiver. Yeah, draft a receiver first round. That's a good idea. Why don't you guys just draft the receiver then? Because we want Malik. He's a patriot. And then you guys could just, you could get Travis Hunter still. Yeah, don't get me wrong, I want a receiver like this. But having-

Like I want a receiver that has insane amounts of autism and comes off like the biggest asshole of all time. Like the last person you'd want to like have like a drink with. I want that in the Patriots locker room. Like just a total piece of shit My friends and I like someone who like throws hand like who almost gets physical with the coach Because he didn't get 20 receptions that game You need them to almost get physical and like half of his drops were completely his fault. Have you watched Jerry Maguire? No You would love Rod Tidwell, the receiver in that.

Yeah. It's just like a character study on that. You never heard them say, like, show me the money! It's Cuba Hedding Jr. He kissed me on the lips one time. Isn't he involved with the Diddy stuff pretty heavily? I don't know, I'm sure. I saw him at a bar called The Blonde years ago and he was

fucking shit-faced. You know that that is actually, that's unwanted sexual touching. He did it. That's sexual harassment. He gave me a wet kiss on the lips. You're burying the lead that you were unwantedly sexually touched by Cuba Gooding Jr. It's kinda odd, yeah.

Like you're making this seem like it's okay, that was an assault that you had to endure. You know, didn't really care. Did Saekwon ever cause a ruckus when he was at the Giants about leaving? No, he was such a good soldier. The Giants caused a shit storm. He asked for basically the same contract

that the Eagles gave him. Yeah, and he never caused, but then you got Tyreek Hill over at the Dolphins like crying at the end of the game Being like I just gotta go I gotta do what's best for me. You're saying that running backs aren't like that. Just receivers receivers. I Love it. This is one of my favorite things in sports All those golfers that went over to live. Yeah every time any player leaves a very loyal team and fan base to take gigantic amounts of money somewhere else Every time any player leaves a very loyal team and fan base to take gigantic amounts of money somewhere else, they always say, I have to do what's best for my family.

Oh yeah. It's like, oh yeah? Were your kids not able to eat on the $30 million contract you had? And now you're making, your family was like, please dad, help us yeah go to the Saudi money and take the 300 million yeah it is the best cover all for just being greedy yeah it's like well no no they they actually want yes I don't want

this yeah they want it I want that my kids actually need the hundred million dollars yeah the Eagles are having a Superbowl season. Yeah. And then you got AJ Brown being like, we got a problem with passing. Passing is not strong enough. And it's like, dude, you have an actual chance of beating the Chiefs and winning the Superbowl.

But the Eagles run the ball first in the league that most rushes of any team. But like if I was on that team, I'll be like, dude, fine by me. But they throw the ball the least. They throw the ball the least. Cause they have the best running back in the NFL. I know but if you're Stuck you think the guys on the Lions are like you think I'm on Ross ain't Brown is like Yeah, but he has how many catches he has like 130 catches

How many catches does he have on the line? He didn't get any touchdowns Gibbs got four. I'm on Ross been a first team all-pro for a lot of years Good player. How many? Actually, I don't know how many years but he's always on the on the All Pro team. He probably got a fucking bunch of catch 115 catches and AJ Brown had like 67. I see where he's coming from. I don't. Why? Talk to Jalen Hurts about that if you have a problem. Don't go on. Don't go on and do interviews being like we got a problem

with passing on this team. I think Aman Ra was first team All Pro in 2023. That might have been the only time That's a good. Hey, that's transparency on your part. How do you say hands up? I'm gonna fact-check myself I have to look how old do you think he is? 24 25 Ball Noah 24 I out ball I out balled Mook the other day. I told him that Sam Darnold was younger than Joe Burrow

and he didn't believe me. He is, Sam Darnold is, I mean, you could be in Sam Darnold's locker room right now if someone's listening. I'm going to be. You could be sitting on his locker. Then the day after this comes out, I will be at his locker.

I would love to just see his long board posted up at his locker. I'm gonna tamper him pushing mongo I'm gonna fuck around are you gonna push goofy on his I might have to yeah Should bro kickflip in the Vikings locker room that would be said run around That would be so nasty Addison Hawkinson. Oh Jefferson Addison Hawkinson fucking Hawkinson oh Jefferson Addison Hawkinson sounds like a fuckin' Honolay coffee roasters out of Kauai in Hawaii sent me a big package of coffee and they had a couple of bags that they wanted me to give to you guys oh my god that sounds amazing I'm not gonna give them to you

no I don't drink coffee Honolay send me please send me Hanalei. I need some of this Hanalei. Do you have a, do you have like a grinder or machine or anything like that? I need a pre-ground. Yeah, he can do that. Grind it up, brother. I can give you, I don't know if he sent me any ground bags. Grind it up. But they make the best coffee. Hanalei, grind it up. Alright, that's it. Thank you. Goodbye. Bloomington, Minnesota, this weekend, please come Yeah, and come to see me in DC at the Comedy Loft with John Fidelberg tickets at punchup.live Close was over, still, still underground

So I looked older, till you came around To you, came a rhyme I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifting Were drifting For, for a sigh So, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way Fetish through your eyes Feet you realign

No one can take me alive I was only falling one way See you just a distant light Paying fast for ever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Banished to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive