Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 302: Backwards Sprinting & The Letter “G” Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

Things get a bit crazy, a bit silly and a whole lot hilarious as we get into a part-time poop debate, find out who the true Man of the People is and wrap things up with a letter “G” Battle Royale Draft that goes completely off the rails. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Boom boom bingity bing bang ba doodly bingity, bing, bang, ba-doodle-y, bing, bang. Oh, right. My man. My man bringing in strong. That's how you start a show, people.

That's how you put the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb. The dang and the ding along the ding dong. All right, welcome in, Spitwads. Bop, shi, bop, shi, bop. I like it. All bop. All right. All of it. All of it. Welcome in to Spitballers episode 302.

Happy to have you with us. Would you rather on the show today playing a game of Man of the People? The people love it. And then we've got a battle royale draft we'll reveal shortly. Again. And I have the first pick. Again, it's usually in the title of the podcast. I have the first pick of the secret draft. Okay. Secret. I'm special. G

draft. Yeah, yeah. And we're thankful you're joining us. You guys ready to rumble? Yep. Would you rather Oscar from Patreon, would you rather only be able to walk backwards or only be able to say 300 words per day. Now, I'll be honest, I have no frame of reference for that quantity of words, but it doesn't seem like, doesn't seem like too little to live on. It certainly doesn't. I mean, I think. Sounds great.

It would be more than Mike currently speaks. I mean, look, job aside, if I could tell people, I am only allowed to say 300 words a day. I Mean, okay, does it get any better? Does can life improve more after that stipulation is placed now? We need a little bit of clarity here because the way that I heard this question Was that my vocabulary is limited to only 300 words. Okay that's very different. Because I was gonna say the average person only uses

about 150 words a day that's no problem. Oh is that what the internet says? No problem. Now this isn't 300 different words you're only allowed to speak 300 words. Total. Okay well that's a problem. No it it's great. Well, sure, for you, I enjoy speaking. And actually, I mean, you say job aside, jobs are a big part of your life. I know, but I'm saying if my job wasn't to talk. It's actually only like three decent paragraphs. That's what 300 words would be. So we're quitting our job at that point.

Or we're shortening the podcast. We are forcibly quitting our job then. Tighten it up. I don't think people will want to tune in for hello goodbye. But only walking backwards would make your life a nightmare. So yeah you could get another job. Backwards man to backwards man. You could get another job where you walk forwards and are able to walk forwards. Yeah, say goodbye to your athletic endeavors. I said goodbye to that about two decades ago, Mike.

Not like this. Not like this. I mean, this would be... So wait, if you're walking over to the couch to sit down, you do have to do a rotation every time? No, you don't have to do a rotation. No, you don't have to do a rotation. You're walking around rotating.

You're pre-rotating. Yeah, there's an advantage. That's an improvement. Huge advantage. Okay, just... I just walk straight to the couch and plop down, man. I don't even have to look when I'm walking to the couch. I'll walk until I'm sitting down.

Furniture is about it, though. Getting to the car... Fleeing a police officer chasing you would be more tough. Yes yes yeah being a cornerback though I mean you'd have so much practice. Oh all right all right. Check this out. All backpedaling? All backpedaling. How fast how much faster could your backpedal get with practice? Now we're talking. Because if you if you went out and just tried to backpedal run, you're not going that fast.

Most people fall down. But with training, your backpedal should get faster. It will. What's the maximum speed? If someone walked backwards their entire life, how fast could they run? Extremely fast. I would define extremely fast.

The fastest run backwards, the fastest backwards 100 meter It's thirteen point one seven seconds. What's the what's the top speed on that? The mph yeah conversion don't do no metric garbage over there. Yeah, there's America meters It's not this international podcast is American the fastest mile backpedal sprint podcast is American. The fastest mile backpedal sprint, five minutes and 54 seconds. What? I can't run that straight forwards. A sub six minute backwards mile? A sub, it was Aaron Yoder. Dude, I'm seeing some huge advantages of this walking backwards thing. The only thing you need. He's considered one of the world's fastest backward runners. Oh, one of them. Is there more there more no because he is

Because he is a backwards runner if you are a backwards runner You're considered one of the world's fastest, but if you if you have the fastest time If you were the fastest at anything and then someone said hey, you're one of the fastest I would be furious Yeah, I would think the same bowl. I want to no. You think you're saying bull? I want to be told V. Yeah. Well, he's good at the mile, but how is he at the two mile? How is he at the? Pretty sure he's excellent.

I'm very confident. How insulting is it for you to get beaten by a man running backwards on a mile if you were racing him? Oh my gosh. He would absolutely. He could mock you and give you finger guns and stuff. Yeah, as he's passing me, he's making faces at me. He doesn't even have to look back, he is looking back.

And there is some evidence of this gentleman over on YouTube. Wow. The world's fastest backwards runner, Aaron Yoder. OK, there we go. Now he's the fastest. He would have been insulted at the idea of being called one of the fastest.

Yeah, I really do think that the only thing you're gonna need in life if you can only go backwards is some kind of mirror like like rearview mirror glass is high of Awards well of course kind of awards gold medals go wait no no no no what kind of gold medals? Yeah, gold medal in what sanctioned by whom I don't know, but he has the world medal. He's not Olympics. Because I could give you a gold medal right now and you could say I got a gold medal. If you can run a 5 minute and 54 second mile, you can participate in like marathons backwards and just make everyone feel horrible. You could win the marathon. Why does he exist? That's why does this man what made him start running backwards?

I'm watching the the the guys video here and That did it got me going down the path of this man has dedicated a lot of his life to this and Should Should that be good? No, no, no, no. But he loves it clearly. This guy's doing what he wants to do with his life.

This is a different would you rather question that we have talked about a few times. Would you rather be the best at something that is obscure. And stupid. And stupid or, you know. Decently good at something that is obscure. And stupid. And stupid, or, you know. Decently good at something popular. Right, and I have learned today that whatever my previous answer was, there is an answer.

Because I don't want to be this, too. This isn't it? This isn't it. I'm watching his YouTube video, and he's talking about how there's about 100 of us athletes in the world and there's probably about only 100 spectators out there watching. Oh, you... no way. And you're dedicating your life to this.

This is how humanity works. Fundamentally, people want to be special. They want to be unique. They want to do something no one else does. He's running Team USA? He wants to be known. There is no do something no one else does. He's running Team USA? He wants to be known. There is no Team USA. Is there a backwards Olympics?

You know what, are you the world's best anything, Jason? Barter. Okay, that's probably it. Self-proclaimed. Yeah, I mean, look, I have no medals, but I will accept one. Yeah, I won't give one. So I don't know where this leaves us in the question. I think the other part of it was so different

with the 300 words per day. That's not enough words for me. Yeah, it's not enough words for me. I'll tell you what, man, if I- So you're gonna be Aaron Yoder? So- It would be terrible to run out of words when you need to say something important.

What's crazy is I'm watching this guy do a mile that is very fast. It don't look that impressive. Like, I thought I was gonna watch a guy like sprinting backwards. It just looks like he's jogging I'm just telling you matter what it looks like if he's running a sub six minute mile backwards. I can do this You can't do it forwards you already proclaimed. Yeah, but I could do it backwards cuz I'm watching it I think that's a cheat code. I think it's are Are we doing it wrong? I think we're doing it wrong because he's making it look real easy. I mean, it's just like, you're just moving backwards.

So which one are you taking? I'm gonna move backwards, because I have to have my word. That is like one of the definitions of, if someone is really good at something, it looks easy. Yeah, I can do this. I mean, just watch the videos.

You can do it too. All you gotta do is watch this guy do it and do what he's doing. All you have can do this. I mean, just watch the videos. You can do it too. All you gotta do is watch this guy do it and do what he's doing. All you have to do is be one of the people participating in this dumb event. And then you're a top 100. Which is only a few, and you're one of the best in the world.

Yeah, you're automatically in the top 100 in the world. Every person out there, if you run home backwards today, you're in the best of the world. Yes, you are. All right, Gus from X says, would you rather beat a very old person in a match of pickleball so 75 years old?

done that before and Have to yell you suck after every point you score Or lose to a 12 year old kid that yells you suck every time he scores on you. Oh, man This one's so easy. This is families are present for both situations So easy super easy and I think I'll say he for both situations. This one's so easy. This is super easy. And I think we're all on the same side. Well Jason will say he's going to beat the old person. Old man's going in a body bag.

I am going to make him feel. I'm going to hit him with the ball. I'm going to make him feel young by how much trash I talk to this man. I'm going to show him that, look, I'm not giving you special treatment, grandpa. No. I'm going to treat you like an equal. Yeah. But we are not equals. But we are not equals based on the score you suck Gramps why are you here grandpa

I'm gonna be the obnoxious one with the W's well I knew that was your answer you didn't need to define the age of the person across the make could be a hundred right you're not changing the answer. No, I'm not changing the answer. I cannot do that. The shame I would feel. I have such a deep, deep sense of respect your elders just built into me. I would feel so, the 12-year-old kid yelling, you suck. I leave that match and I just think that kid is the worst

and his whole life's gonna suck because he acts like shit. No, no. And, all that's true, and you lost to that kid is the worst and his whole life's gonna suck because he acts as a kid. No, no. And, and, all that's true, and you lost to that kid. I promise you. It's fine. No, it's not fine. It is.

It is not fine. Like, what have you, do you have any competitions with your children right now which they are, they can beat you? When you're trying, they can beat you. When you're trying, they can beat you. Yeah, my 13 year old can beat me at chess. Ah, yeah. How's, just losing, just losing, and he says nothing, how was that felt?

Not good. Okay, now throw in, every time you make a move on that chessboard, he goes, pfft. And take away. Oh my God, you idiot. And take away. Oh my god, you idiots. And take away that it's your child. You don't love this kid. You hate this kid.

And he's, he's. I can't be the one that did that to an old person. I can't. No, I can teach you how. I can teach you how. I know you can. No, no, no. Really.

You probably do this weekly. Look, here's how you do it. Before and after the game, you are Mr. Respect Your Elders. You go up, you open the door, you give a hearty handshake, you say, it's so great to see you again, you know, Eugene. You know, I love playing with you. I'm so happy you're here. I hope that when I'm your age, I'm in the same shape. You know, all of these type of things. And then it's ding ding ding goes the boxing ring bell. And when that game is on, you getting it, Gramps?

Get into the arena. Let's play. And then he's going to respect you more. Yeah, I don't buy any of that. I'm doing the one where I get beat by the kid. I'm doing the one where I get beat by the kid. I'm doing the one where I am the kid I I mean that's a fair answer. I I'm telling you that look I play video games with my son and there are some games He can beat me at he doesn't regularly but he can and when he does oh I hear all about it and

When you're down at halftime and your child is giving you the business, it's a level of rage that you have never felt in your entire life, a child telling you how bad you are at something. I mean, I just, yeah, okay. That guy's, what, okay, respect, what has he done? Other than he's made it to 75. What's he done for you? Also, how long can he hate you?

Was he in, was he in the Great War? Did he help you out there? Probably. No, probably not. Yeah, probably not. I'm with you, Mike. Probably not. He's probably a coward.

Yeah. He ducked out. He's a draft dodger. This guy didn't go numb. It was the reason he made it to 75. If you're 75, there's a chance I kill you in this match. Gramps, you gotta follow it with gramps. Make better choices. Alright, Gus from Twitter, that was your question.

We know how these two are going. Finn from Patreon, would you rather work 5 hours a day cleaning portal potties? Oh no. Or be a professional mover for 10 hours a day, you make the same amount of money. That's a lot of more time. That's a lot more time. I think I'm a mover, man. Yeah. I mean, I will... You know, actually, I want to talk about something because my first thought here was if I'm a professional mover, I'm moving furniture 10 hours a day, five days

a week, that's a long job. I'm going to be in great shape, that physical activity. I recently moved. I can't believe the human, and they did an awesome job. I mean, I went and I left a review online, these guys were amazing. There were some big fatties, I'm talking like, I'm talking, I can't believe this guy has a job moving furniture.

Dude, I got the power. Dude, this was not like I'm overweight. He's a big fatty. I'm talking like Gargundibus. Like this dude was enormous. No, no. And I was just shocked. And he was a hard worker, worked nonstop.

He was amazing. He was awesome. Like he shouldn't be that big. I don't know how. Because you should be in shape from the 10 hours of moving. So impressive, man. I mean, they're packing lunches. They're not like going to McDonald's.

They brought it in like a little paper bag. How is this possible? That's what McDonald's comes in. OK, that's fair. But I'm just saying, I'm saying I feel like you you got to eat 100,000 calories a day to do the workout and the work that he is doing maybe it was his first day I asked him. Oh, no, I just was no I had to know I Know this was this was not framed poorly. This was like how long have you worked?

But it was just like, I asked them all. I was going to say, did you ask everybody? I asked just- No, I asked everybody. I was like, how long- Cumulonimbus. No, because we, I liked these guys. I actually kept in contact with one of them. They were awesome and I was just like, how long have you worked here? It was like four years. And I was surprised because it was incredible. And then there was a different guy, a different guy, skinniest, tiniest stick I've ever seen.

Also strong? Also working there. They all do everything. They all just grab all the heavy furniture and move it. So how often, I mean, did they work nonstop? Nonstop. That's what I was gonna say, say like moving when I move a friend I move something. Yeah, I get a drink move something grab a slice. I see you know, we ordered pizza

Yeah, I sit on some piece of the truck some corner of the truck for a minute looking good. And oh I got a text So I was wondering like if I'm moving like dad, that's only five hours of moving in a ten-hour day No, no, no. These guys were moving. So I no longer believe. Porta Potty is atrocious. Yeah, I'm not doing that. How many hours of Porta Potty would it take in a reduction to choose Porta Potty? Would you do an hour of Porta Potty a day versus 10-hour moving?

I feel like yes. Yeah. Even the... Dude, five or 10 hours. You're considering Porta Potty. Oh, yes or 10 hours. What? You're considering port, what is cleaning a porta pot? I was gonna ask the same question. Yeah, what kind of tools do I get? And you're not cleaning.

Am I cleaning it out? No, no, you're just cleaning the inside of it. Yeah, you're not dumping it. The toilet, and then when you're done with that one, you go to the next one. So all the interior plastic, the porcelain, everything. So like, can I just like pressure wash this thing with some soapy water?

You have to be in it. Yeah, you can have gloves. But you got a spray bottle? I'm going to be wearing something on my face. I think not. Why not? You're just not allowed to in this example. Oh, well, that seems dangerous.

I'm calling OSHA. Oh, because of the chemicals? Yeah. Or the poop. I feel like you could. Both. The chemical poop. The chemical poop.

What about like the clothespin on the nose? Yeah, I guess. You could do that, right? I guess so. Because it's painting. That's not going to help very much, though. That's going to help tremendously. 5 and 10, you're taking the 10 movie.

Then you're just huffing poo there, man. I'm taking the 10. Two hours in the porta potty or 10 movie? Porta potty. Yeah, me too. So what's the number? I'm doing the 5 in the porta potty. You're doing the five either way? Every five days a week, 10 hours of moving.

You get tips. I'm not worried about what shape, I mean I'm worried about my back. That's fair. Will be toast. Yeah, yeah, not a joke. We had movers from my parents about a year ago. Amazing job job same situation

none of them were enormous as you described but I talked to them and it was like one of the guys actually left their tools there at my parents house so we called him and we said hey you left your tool bag this is a bunch of expensive tools disassembling furniture, all that stuff. Bunch of Allen wrenches. Toolbag sat there for, I don't know, five months? Wow. Six months? Finally he calls and says, can I come get the tools? We're like, yeah, where you been? So I broke my back. I broke my back moving. So to Mike's point, he broke his back and then six months later he was back in the business. All right.

Your back, your knees, your body will be toast. Huh, okay, and either one of these, you're gonna need a shower after your job. Yeah, could you? All right, give me the porta potty. Okay, can I sidebar for a second? Because I think I just invented a new business. Oh dude, I love new businesses.

Make sure you register it first. Andy's moving. Why is it Andy's? Yeah, can it be our group thing? Spitballers Movers Association. Yeah. There we go. We come out, we will quote your job.

Mm-hmm. And then we will sell it to another mover and be in the middle. Okay. You know what I mean? This is an invention you're coming up with? It's an invention. I feel like this is very common in almost every industry I haven't heard about it for movers though. I

Mean that's literally What basically a moving company like if you own the moving company and you're not the one doing the moving right then this is what? You're doing Yeah Basically Really it's really just a normal business. Yeah, and then if it goes well enough, instead of outsourcing it, I'll hire my own staff. Yeah.

And then I'll have a moving company. All right, do we need to move on, Al? I think so. Do you want another question, or do you want to move on? Let's move on. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Today's episode is brought to you by our friends at Rocket Money. Can you name every single subscription you have?

I know I can't name all of mine and I'm not alone. I just learned that over 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. With Rocket Money, I don't have to remember every subscription or worry about forgetting any because I can see them all laid out right in front of me. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all the subscriptions in one place. Know exactly where the money is going. I love Rocket Money. I was a user of Rocket Money long before they were even

a supporter of this podcast. It is a fantastic service. It really helps me pay attention, keep up to date with my finances. And again, those subscriptions, maybe you have a subscription. You got to cancel and you don't really want to do it. Rocket Money will do it for you. Rocket Money has over 5 million users

and has saved a total of $500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things that you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers. Rocketmoney.com slash ballers. That's rocketmoney.com slash ballers, rocketmoney.com slash ballers. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People.

Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People.

Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People. Man of the People, so we'll see. We pulled 100 people. The top six answers are on the board. You get three points if you get the first answer, two points if

you get the second answer, one point for any other answer. We're going to do seven rounds. Seventh round is worth double points. All right. Does that all make sense? Who won last time? You did. Oh. You were the man of the people. I thought that might have been the case. You knew that. I had a guess. I were the man of the people. I thought that might have been the case. You knew that. I guessed, I had a guess. I knew you lost. All right. All right.

Round one. Round one. Hands on the table. That's right. Other than swimsuits, name something people wear to the beach. Sunglasses. That is the number two answer.

Okay, okay. Flip-flops. That is the number one answer. You're Okay. Ah! Flip-flops. That is the number one answer. You're done right it is! Let's go! Interesting. Very nice, Mike. Jason, sunscreen.

That is the number three answer. That's a good answer. All right. Top three answers? We got the top three? You got the top three? That's gotta be the first time ever. It definitely is.

I'm actually impressed with us. What was on the list? I also have tank tops. I would say tank tops. I would say a towel. So yeah, you got the top three, then hat was number four, towel was number five, and shorts tank top was number six. Okay.

Okay. We crushed that fellas. Yeah, you guys nailed it. Very nice. We're men of the people of course. All right, so we got a score of Mike with three, Andy with two, Jason with one. Going into round two. Name the heaviest item that you might buy at the grocery store.

I'm gonna go with a sack of potatoes. That is the number three answer. Gersh again. Gersh. I'm gonna go with a watermelon. A watermelon is the number one answer. Yeah. A sack of potatoes is heavier than a watermelon I mean depends on any potatoes you buy

Water like a like a jug of water gallon of milk or water is number two and we did it again Oh, man, I keep being that's Three maybe! Oh man. Except I keep being three. Why can I swap to this one? That's good because I couldn't think of anything besides, is bag of salt on there? Yeah, that was, that was.

No, the other three answers were. Flour, flour. A turkey? Rice? A bag of pet food. Oh. And cans of soda. Oh, okay.

Well, good thing we got the top three. I knew the salt would not be on there, but as soon as I thought of it, I'm like, that's by far the heaviest one hundred percent I wanted to say I wanted to say the bag of salt that was the first thing that came for us Water oh yeah, that's cuz I hate I hate getting those Forty or sixty pounds so two times in a row we've gotten the top three answers Let's keep running correct so Andy and Mike are tied with five. Jason has some work to do.

Shut up. He's at two points. Next question. Yes, sir. Name a place where it would be rude to laugh. A funeral. A funeral is the number three answer. No, are you?

I'm just kidding. It's the number one answer. OK. I was like, that's gotta be the. OK. Woo. I'm back, baby. OK. Nobody else buzz it in? Oh my gosh. You gotta be the... okay. I'm back, baby! Okay.

Nobody else buzz it in? Oh my gosh. Give them a timer, man. Four. Three. Two. Dude. A... very serious play. I don't know. A serious play or movie is the number six answer.

No way! Wait, number six is on the top five, right? We have six on this one. All these ones have six. Oh, do they really? Wait, he said a, and it was the same version? It literally says serious, play, or movie. Oh, my god.

Mike, you get two. I will vote to give you two for that. I have to give an answer. I will say a courtroom. Courtroom was the number five answer. So you and Mike each got one point unless we're awarding Mike with a photo. All right. That is amazing that it was very serious play. You threw off just like, I have no idea. Some kind of serious. I didn't know how to

say it. Cause it's like, if you're at first, I wanted to say you're at, at a theater, like, well, no people laugh all the time. You're at a show. People laugh all the time. But if you're at a dramatic play, if someone's laughing. What were the other answers? Because I've got funeral number one, church number two, library number three. Oh, library's good. Hospital number four.

All right. Courtroom number five, and serious play or movie number six. All right. Those people don't know what the best medicine is, apparently. All right. Laughter. So through three rounds, we still got to tie Andy and Mike Those people don't know what the best medicine is apparently. All right. Laughter.

Yeah. So through three rounds, we still got a tie, Andy and Mike with six, but Jason is now right behind with five. Oh man, what a game. Let's go, baby. What a game. Also, we're three rounds in and all three of us on the board each time. You guys are crushing it.

Don't jinx it. All right, round four. Name something your wife asks you to do that your mom also asked you to do. I'm gonna say take out the garbage. That is the number two answer. Alright, not three. Wash the dishes. That is the number three answer.

Mike, the number one's out there. Just general cleaning? Or do I have to be more specific? Clean up after yourself is the number one answer. Ah! Three of our four categories, we've gotten one, two, answer. Oh, we did with three of our four categories. We've gone one, two, three. I'm so impressed with us. Great work. The ones you missed on that were laundry,

make your bed, and eat better. Oh yeah. Fair enough. All right, so through four rounds. We're already at the highest scoring game ever. We have to be. You're probably right. Mike is out ahead with nine points.

Andy and Jason tied with seven points What round is this five we're going into five we got three full rounds to go over all right and last round will be worth Double so definitely anybody's game name something a girl would need if she wanted to impersonate an elderly woman I'll say a pair of glasses glasses is the number three answer a I'll say a pair of glasses glasses is the number three answer a wig a gray wig is the number one answer For three dress literally old dress is the number four answer. All right, baby. What? Oh, that's funny.

Is Kane on there? Kane is the number two answer. Oh, that was. Yeah, I'm mad. Kane was going to be the first thing out of my mouth. And then I went, wow, those old glasses, though. Pearl necklace. A purse was the number five answer.

And then a shawl or scarf was the number six answer. All right. All right. OK. Dang it. Mike's got a big lead there. Oh, yeah, shawl. Yeah, you got to have that shawl.

Through five rounds, Mike has 12. I'm cold. Andy and Jason still tied with eight. We are moving on to round six. Name something. Gotta reset the buttons. I got you. Name something that gets thrown.

A ball. A ball is the number one answer. What? What else do you throw? Frisbee. A frisbee is the number one answer what what else do you throw frisbee a frisbee is the number two answer? Excellent good job, Andy you throw four three

in insults one Man insult not on the board All right, we had paper airplane. Yeah, that was what I was thinking also not on the board. We have you're the first one. Oh, man. All right, we had ball. Paper airplane? Yeah, that was what I was thinking. Also not on the board. We had ball, frisbee, party, darts, a tantrum, and then throwing the game. I actually thought about throwing the game as a joke

answer. It was actually on the board. So wait, is this the final round? It is the final round. And it's 10, 11, 12, so anybody can win? That is correct. So it's double points. Yep, we got Mike with 12, Jason with 11, Andy with 10. This is worth double anybody's game. Name a US city that begins with the letter B. Boise! Boise is the number four answer. Oh, that sucks. Boston! Boston is the number four and all that sucks

Boston Boston is the number one answer yeah another be I got one that's way better than Boise oh Mike for I'm three can't think of anything to Raven one Baltimore Baltimore is the number two answer wait they just gave him the win I can't think of anything. Two. Ravens. One. Baltimore. Baltimore is the number two answer. Wait, they just gave him the win. Wait.

You just gave him the win. It just gave me the tie. Oh, it gave you the tie. I'm not going to take it. Oh my God. I didn't think of that. That was Jason's answer. That's okay.

I don't care. That was the highest. I didn't get Boston fast enough. Why did I go Boise? That was definitely the highest. When you hit it and you screamed Boise, I was like, thank you So here's what I thought here's here's how my thought process worked. Whoever gets number one wins, right? Whoever gets yeah, so you're gonna hit it no matter what I had Yeah, I knew it fast and because it was so such a clear like, you know, what comes to mind

I just blurted out the first thing This is how long we've all worked and been together is we're sitting there, hands on the table, getting ready to push the button, and all I'm thinking is Jason would logically hit this as fast as possible without an answer knowing that it would give him an advantage on the final question. I should have got the green, which I got, and then thought, because Boston was clear. Yeah, you skipped the thinking. Yeah, I did.

But you did get Boise So wait, I don't get second you do you do. Oh, okay. I don't Take that. All right. All right, Andy your second consecutive man of the people The best part of that is that I think that was my first lead of the entire match Yeah, I got the number one answer Many times. Yeah, like three the number one answer. Many times. Yeah, like three or four times there. You just need to remember to throw a party.

Yeah. All right, quick break, back with the draft. The Spitballers Draft. Alrighty we are doing something a little different today. People love the Battle Royale drafts. They love the opportunity for us to, you know, we select our four different picks, our warriors in the Colosseum. And so today we are stepping into that fabled, beautiful, majestic Colosseum,

and we are drafting people or characters, things that start with the letter G. Oh man, for a battle royale. For a battle royale. So we are fighting one another another and we can take characters, animals, whatever the case may be, put four of them into the ring, who will come out on top. Now I have the first pick. Mm-hmm. And I'm not sure I'm gonna make the best pick here, but I have to wait quite a while to get

my next pick. And I'm afraid that maybe it'll be gone. So with the number one pick of our letter G, Battle Royale, I need myself a wizard, so I'm going Gandalf. Okay. Gandalf is my number one pick. He was my number two. I want Gandalf leading the charge.

He's nice and old, very slow, can be easily defeated by, what's the, what's the? Balrog? But yeah, a Balrog. Yeah, good luck on the B draft. And he'll be in the arena. Yeah, well, good luck on the G draft, because I will take, guess who's back, baby?

I will take the genie. Thank you. Oh, that's a good one not even on my list. Wow. It was on my list, and it was on my first list and I just deleted it I was like what you didn't want him. I just didn't feel like taking him. Okay. All right. Well Thank you. Yeah, the genies back. Well, that's the fourth time. He's been drafted this is great in the sense that I only had two that I thought were excellent like a One and a two and I didn't have Jeannie on my list so you allowed what was my number one pick to come to me look I don't have the magic that you guys have

but you're gonna need the magic cuz I got Godzilla yeah he was my number two pick yeah yeah I got the size and the tail and I'm doing though like I the lightning out of the mouth thing whatever all the things he does I got it all I got the size and the tail that's what they say about Godzilla yeah he is a very big creature yeah all righty so now I'm looking at other G characters. You knew what we were doing before, man. Yeah, no, I've got my list. I got my list. Goodness gracious. It's not sorted very well. Okay, so you're deciding.

And there's just such a tear break. So you guys have this magic. And I feel like I've got to compete with that. The tail's not enough? The tail's not enough. I can't just be physical. I've got to have a superpower. So I'm going to take a superhero. I don't think this one will do great in the polls based on

Box-office results. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, he's on my list. But if you're talking actual victory in there I think this guy's this guy could single-handedly take on your two guys. It's the Green Lantern Yeah, Greenland. I mean he is he's tough because I feel like it's just the superhero to make fun of. Oh, for sure, that's what I'm saying. Except this isn't a poll winner. I think that Green Lantern can actually be very powerful. Because it's so... He can do anything he imagines.

Yeah, so as long as you're wearing the ring, you can... Except for sell tickets, am I right? Nice, got him. You physically manifest whatever it is you think of. And like, are there, are there limitations on that? Cause I feel like I've seen a Green Lantern do something with projectiles. Just a sidebar.

This is the thing about superheroes and comics that we, that I don't understand as a medium fan of these movies. You have obviously Superman that can do everything. Yeah, that's why he sucks. Superman is Superman. It's boring. So he sucks and then he's boring, right? Yeah.

True power. Then you have all these other popular superheroes. Iron Man, right? Flying suit, a lot of limitations, human can die. Wolverine, he's got the healing, but he pretty much is just swinging around some knives, right? So all these popular- Eh, don't discount that healing. That's why he's got the knives.

The healing, and I mean, he's also got super strength, super heightened abilities. Okay, so maybe Wolverine's pretty cool, but like Cyclops, right? Shoots like a beam out of his eye. Concussive blasts. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

But then there's all these side characters that are in barely any movies and comics, but they all have abilities that break all of time and space. Right, like Green Lantern. Like you're basically saying Green Lantern does that, and then there's other characters that can just stop time, and there's other characters that can do everything in the entire world or move faster,

but they're not popular. Is it because of the Superman thing where they're too strong, or they just don't have good lore, or people just don't identify with it I think a lot of it's probably the outfit. You know, I mean like Green Lantern So stupid it's you got to have the cool factor. Yeah, that's Wolverine Wolverine. Oh, yeah He's got a bit of all time that hair those chops

Men are age who were got into that world at all I mean what the chances of you just ask someone, be like, hey, who's your favorite superhero? Wolverine is gonna, I bet will come out 50% of the time. It's my number one. So he's good. But Green Lantern, so I guess it's just- Oh, like Batman, Batman also, same thing.

Mortal, like totally pretty limited. Yeah, he's just the greatest detective. Yeah. You wanna be able to relate and think, I could be a superhero. So anyways, all of that to say your pick kind of sucks. Thank you. All right, Mike, you're up.

It's fine. All right, so you got Green Lantern and Godzilla. So I will, this is going to play really, really well on this show. Thankfully, Papa Josh is in the back, holding it down for all the nerds. Oh, Mike is so predictable. Yeah. Am I? Who am I gonna take?

You're gonna take obscure video game reference. No, it's not obscure video game. It's comic book related. Sort of obscure. We're gonna go- Well, I know who it is. No. No, you will not. Okay, that's the predictable part. You're gonna have my guest. You will learn about him in upcoming movies. But I'm gonna take Galactus. Oh, that's the predictable part. You have my guess. You will learn about him in upcoming movies, but I'm gonna take galactus

Oh, that's a good pick. Oh, hey, you're in it. Oh my gosh. I mean he's swallowing worlds man Yeah, he is. He could be, I mean, Godzilla. He's an ant He's not on my list. I mean you won. I don't know who that is. You won. Does he fit in the Coliseum? No, oh he doesn't fit on earth. He's gotta fit in the coliseum? No. Oh, he doesn't fit on Earth. He's got to fit in the coliseum. I mean, he'll eat the coliseum. Godzilla doesn't fit in the coliseum either. Well, he's supposed to be.

I'm sure he does. He fits in the coliseum. No. Yeah, he's probably about this size, though. I mean, like, a foot? A foot? Maybe one of his feet? Whatever.

It's a real big coliseum. Make it bigger. Yeah, scale it up. Because Galactus is coming in. Dude. It's a real big Coliseum make it bigger. Yeah This is coming in dude. That's a pick man. That is a pick. I don't know who it is. So I Had Godzilla on the list. I got to pick a couple of Selections here. I need something for Gandalf to ride. So I'm gonna give him a grizzly bear We got a grizzly bear Okay, it's not gonna fit your eating galaxies guy but I

was thinking more fighting in the arena so that's what all my picks are so and then I will also go with Goliath okay I will go with a grizzly bear and Goliath all right all right hopefully there's no pillars there Oh good. Oh no I'm thinking of Samson? I went Samson. I totally did. Andy and I both were just like what are you talking about? I don't remember Goliath with a pillar. No that's funny. Fair enough the pillars are fine. Don't shave Goliath's head. Watch out. Alright so Grizzly Bear and then Goliatheth man you made fun of green lantern because I think you took a dude and a bear yeah I thought we were just like you know normal people fighting in this I heard characters so I have a list of characters. You started with a wizard. He fits in the arena

he fits with hey maybe the arena's the universe. Or no, it's just that we can go the solar system. Galactus fits in there. Weirdos, bunch of weirdos. All right. Yeah, speaking of weirdos, I'll take Goku. Yeah, that's who I thought your last one was going to be. Oh, man.

Hopefully the nerds come out for the polls, because this team is dominating I mean look honestly after Galactus. It's pretty much. I think Goku could take Galactus really yeah I do I mean I guess when you factor in like Who has to win Galactus a bad guy so he ends up losing all the time is he a bad guy or is he just misunderstood? No, he's a bad guy. He's straight straight up bad guy. Is he? I think so. I don't know. I think he's made up, I've never heard of him before so. This was a good one. So on this show, this is the show where we drafted in one of these battle royales long years and years ago. And Mike you brought

up a name, you drafted this guy. Oh crap one punch, man Oh, yes. Yeah, and there was and that was when Andy and I were crickets. We'd never heard of One punch and you know, it's like oh he can beat anyone with one punch What a stupid character can't believe you drafted him then I proceeded to watch Yeah, watch it and love it and it's a great pick great pick. All right, so I'm on the clock. I had a point, everything feels slightly inferior now. However, I want to remind you, if you don't remember your Harry Potter lore,

one of the most powerful wizards was Ginny Weasley. Yes, it's the younger sister of Ron, One of the most powerful wizards was Ginny Weasley. Yes, it's the younger sister of Ron. Spoiler, the future wife of Harry. Ginny is a powerhouse. Is this well known? For any Harry Potter nerd out there, yes. Ginny Weasley is. Is this Andy?

Andy is a devastated man. She is a sensational powerhouse. Is this from the books? Yeah, yeah, it's in the books, in the movies. Ginny Weasley's awesome. What makes her so powerful? Magic. Well, yeah.

I don't know, what makes Dumbledore powerful is just like he was born with extra magic. I don't know. Keizer, you guys suck. I like this draft. All right. You just said Jenny Weasley. Hey! You wanna fight Jenny Weasley in a Coliseum?

You're gonna lose. Now we're sure that's a G? Yeah. Okay. It's not Jenny. I read the books. No, say those two names back to back. It's this name.

Not Jenny Weasley, not Jenny Weasley. Did you hear the difference? Yeah. Because I said it perfect. Oh, I know. I just. I see how you could not understand. All right, so I've got one more, right?

Mm-hmm. There's a lot of cool people I could take. Some fun, but. Gilbert Godfrey. Oh, man. Annoying to death. It'd make everyone, that's the way to beat Galactus. He'd just run away.

Galactus! I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take someone with actual, you know, this is a killer. This is someone who knows how to fight and he's not afraid to take your life. Right. Taking Ghostface. Okay, okay. I don't know who any of these people are.

You know who Ghostface is. Ghostface is Scream. The bad guy in Scream. Okay, I know that. That's Ghostface. He'll stab you to death. I am so sorry everybody. is on me loving this draft I asked for rules, and I was told characters animals whatever you want okay ghost face ghost face Mike

What character are you about to invent? Oh? It's not an invention, but why are we bringing Goku along we gotta bring the boy. We gotta bring gohan in here We got em both Josh We did it Oh nerds are gonna love your team Mike They are Alrighty I have um I'll just finish

You're gonna take a goose? You're gonna take George Washington? He's a general This is the worst. Gary Shandling. Fine, I'll take George Costanza with my final pick, George Costanza, because why not? And there you go.

What a fight this is going to be, George Costanza versus Ghostface. I apologize to the rest of my team You learned who galactus was yeah sort of there you go, I learned that I would Much rather be okay at something cool and popular than the best at something that is nonsense. I learned very much would have beat an old person to pickleball before I let a child beat me. That'll do it for today's spitballers everybody. Thank you for listening. We'll do another episode at some point. Goodbye.

To see what other nonsense the guys are up to check check out SpitballersPod.com.