Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 308: Toasted Mold & Things That Are Clear - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

On today’s episode we learn all about how to properly toast mold (and frogs), play a round of Ballerdash and cap things off with a Things That Are Clear Draft that will have you rolling. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Did you know that more than 50% of food waste in Toronto homes is avoidable? By cutting down on food waste, you can help protect the environment and save money. Simple actions like planning your meals, storing food correctly, and using everything you purchase make a big difference. Learn how to make every bite count at toronto.ca slash food waste. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Wicked a wicked a wicked a boop pop. But dinghy.

Wicked a wicked a huh? That's the only part I knew. You couldn't even the rest was good. My lickety slickety. But dinghy. Yeah. Also explain the hat to me because I didn't, I was unaware until you were halfway through your skat. I look up, and I see you in the monitor,

and your hat is resting on your nose. What was that about? It was just to stay hidden. Maybe the mystery, maybe if I didn't look at you guys, maybe it would come out, and it'd be really cool. So were you keeping yourself away from the world, or the world away from yourself? It depended how the scat went.

He's in the scat zone. I'm in the scat zone, Jason. Squee-dup-dup-dup-dup. Get out of there, man. It's terrible in there. It's just you and John. Wickety wickety, lickety splickety. That's what I should have gone with.

Welcome in. Would you rather ball or dash in a draft on today's episode of The Spitballers? Andy, Mike, and Jason with you. We've got Al Borland in the building, Papa Josh, the Falcon over their inducer's alley, three dudes combining to do the job of half a man. So thank you. Thank you for being here. We will kick things off right here right now. First I'll remind you, you can follow the show at SpeedballersPod over on X and tell your friends and family about the podcast. We would really appreciate it and you'll make you'll make their life

do it or else. Whoa that was serious. I feel like I have to do it now. Yeah you want to know why? Because I don't want to know why. Or else. Or else. Oh, that's a new technique. I love threatening our audience. Well they should know that we're all fun and games until... Until you don't share. Until the threats. So like Mike said, share it or else. Here we go.

Would you rather... All right, Cora from Patreon writing in. Would you rather? All right, Cora from Patreon writing in, would you rather every person in the world be given $10 million? Or only you are given $10,000? That's a weird question. Cora is challenging our generosity, except I don't think Cora understands how the economics of the world works. Yeah that would be a bit of

an inflationary situation. If you give everyone in the world, every person, ten million dollars, you are toast. Well also you did nothing, because everything is going, I mean if that's what everyone has. I'm saying for you personally, yeah like the world will stay close to the same, but you won't be able to afford a thing. Well yeah, a Big Mac's gonna be like, you know,

$50,000. Yeah. The trick would be to spend it faster than the impact that You know of the event For the other people if everybody let's say instantly everybody in their mailbox is ten million dollars If I go out and spend my ten million really really quickly

Oh before inflation before it all catches up like the ten million is gonna It's gonna take a while for ten million not to feel like 10 million to the world. But it's everybody else. It's not you. Now here's the thing. Oh wait, it's not you at all? No. Not you at all. I thought it said everyone in the world. No, it says, would you rather? I think you would be included. Oh, you're included? Yeah, I'm saying everybody. That's how I interpreted it. Well yeah, I'm going to spin that so quick. I think you have to go spend it fast. Because if you all got it right now, and I ran out, there's no way they're not taking my money.

No, you can go get something right now for $10 million that is worth that. And then, even the car salesman that's got the $10 million waiting for him at home doesn't know it yet. If you went out and bought a $10 million house at current value, and then everyone's filthy rich, right? Yeah, you still got that house. You know how much that house, I'm going to turn around and sell that house.

Oh, flip it. For two years. Flip that house. If you, if this happened, how long does it take for all prices to catch up? If it happened and it was newsworthy? Yeah it's like it's a global event it's two months. Holy crap. Under a week. I'm going under a week. I mean it would be quick it would be very very quick. I think it's more of the comprehension. I think it's more like let's say you're a person that sells goods. How do you

process that that fast right? Like we do the draft kit for the footballers? Like okay everybody instantly like what do we do with the I wouldn't want to know what to do exactly with the price right away I'd be like oh Well, it's different because ours is a digital product But when you've got I mean your inventory if you're right you sell brick a order Yeah, you're about to be out of potatoes You got no more potatoes to sell because everyone can buy them now and everyone's buying up your potatoes.

You've got to make those last potatoes more expensive. I mean, it's got to happen. Supply to man. Supply to man. That's just common sense. But what will your potatoes cost a couple days into this event? I mean, they just keep going up until they stop selling and then they go down a little. You think potatoes would be one of the hot rush items?

I don't. I don't think that that's what people are going to rush out for. Is there a vegetable that would make it? A nightshade? Truffle? I don't know. Is truffle a vegetable?

I don't know. No, no one knows. Only pigs find them. Now, the falcon's like, well, if you have $10 million, do you really need profit? Is that what you just asked? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the answer is, is you're

going to, because everything's going to cost way more. Right, exactly., the answer is, is you're gonna, because everything's gonna cost way more. Right, exactly. If you hold onto that 10 million and everyone out there's a 10 millionaire, then you're just exactly the average person and then costs will go up. I mean, that, yeah, it's not, so just give me the $10,000.

Yeah, so the great news after all this is I now have $10,000. Yeah, and you don't. So. That's such a small. Also, how many potatoes can I get with $10,000? Well, the option is $10,000. All of them?

Or 60,000 potatoes. That's your choice. Oh, man. Would you take 60,000 potatoes? Over $10,000? I don't think. They go bad pretty quick, right? They do.

They sprout. They get stinky. They stink. Also. You ever pulled one sprout. They get stinky. They stink. Also you ever pulled one of those out of your fridge? Yeah. Where they were all of a sudden there's a creature coming out of the pot. What's the worst thing you've pulled out of your fridge? Oh, I mean that's fine. I know what comes to mind. Oh, if you have a story, please do share. This isn't, this isn't a proud moment. Yeah, all right. But you go and you do that, you clean out the fridge thing, and then you get to the

back part of the drawer that has been full for a long time. And there is usually something along the lines of what once was a zucchini or a cucumber. Oh, you're saying it's liquefied. Yeah, that thing starts melting. And you've got to find a way to pick it up, but you can't, cause it's like hot butter, you're, I mean, I'm glovin' up, I'm, you know, you're,

oh. You wanna throw the drawer out. I wanna throw the fridge out. I mean, I don't wanna get a new drawer in there. Before you even answered it, I was gonna say, it would have been something that liquefied. It would have been something hiding back there that just became a new substance. It's not a liquid.

It's not a solid. It's not a gas. It's all of them. The vegetables are worse than the meat because the meat stinks, but the meat is usually packaged. It's in something. So if you didn't cook up your chicken breast, it's wrapped in cellophane and you can see it's nasty. But the vegetables are exposed. At best, you were lazy enough to not take it out of the little bag you put it in in the grocery store, but usually the vegetables are out in the open. You don't want those things going bad. That and the, like a real furry block of cheese. Oh yeah.

Yeah, those are... Fat those. You ever name them? I have not. is that a good technique Oh, yeah, I mean when you get if you if you've got enough fur to go, you know to the groomers then you deserve a name That's that's how I that's how I look at it. Okay So yeah, yeah furry cheese for sure. I saved my son from a From making a bagel the other day

He was walking through the fridge and he was about to cook the bagel up and I looked at it and I was like, that's covered in mold. He was just gonna eat it. Yeah. So I felt like I did a good deed. So if you put, like how does,

I know mold can, it's like, it can survive a lot, but can mold survive a toaster? Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I mean, what type of heat do we have to deactivate or kill the mold? I don't know enough about mold to know if it can be deactivated.

It will still be there, but you're saying whether it's dangerous. Yeah. Like if you put mold, a moldy piece of bread in a microwave for a minute. Bad news, guys. That's probably still living. Toasting bread is not going to kill the mold.

That's terrible. Mold can survive. How hot does a toaster get? What about microwave? I'm on it. Oh, did someone answer? How hot does a toaster get? Someone answered that. Someone's just got the answer. How hot does a toaster get? Somebody it's like like someone's just got the ends. Well, it's usually like 285

Well, I was gonna guess about 500 degrees and molds like no problem. It can go up to that. Yeah, I mean molding Bolts cool molds got they got it going on Most molds are usually killed by heat at temperature between 140 160 degrees I mean come on toasters got that covered. I would think so, but it's how long it's at that temperature That's what normally makes a difference is how long it's It's mean a minute Right. I don't know. I see I see People questioning why does it so hard to kill mold. I see that.

This says while toasting can kill the mold, it does not neutralize the toxins that the mold produces. Ah, there we go. Okay. Yeah, because you could kill. So once mold, always toxic. Yeah. Like if you kill something, it could be dead, like a plant. But the plant could... You eat that plant, you're still going to die. Right. If it's a poisonous frog Right you can the frog can be killed. It's killed. You didn't get rid of the poison put the frog in the

Can't eat the toasted how long can toast a frog no a toaster will not kill frog venom frog It won't kill frog venom? No. It'll kill a frog. Yeah, the frogs toast. How long can you toast a frog without it dying? Okay. Toasting the frog without causing harm or death

is not feasible or ethical. Just so you know. Okay, that's a good advice. Who's the party pooper over there? Chad B. AI. Chad GPT. Yeah. Frogs are living creatures with sensitive skin

and delicate biology. Subjecting them to heat or any form of quote toasting can quickly lead to severe stress, injury, or death. So don't do that. Well what if the frog was already dead? Cause people eat frogs. You know what I mean? I'm not buying a frog to kill it to eat it.

But if I want frog legs. You wanna toast them? I would rather than raw. Do the French have a fancy frog cooking machine? The French? Yeah. That's where you eat frog legs in France. Oh, the frog legs are French?

Yeah. They've got so much good food Why are they doing that? Oh, they got snails snails and that's cargo baguettes Don't you know anything about the French? Yeah, I'll be honest I was kind of conflating the French and the Italians in my head for an hour Like the Italians wouldn't be caught dead with frog legs. No, they got pasta and good stuff. You won't go to Italy Yeah, I really do. I genuinely do. If anyone can get me to Italy, I'm open.

I would love to go to Italy. Let's go. I want to eat a ton of fresh pasta. You want to go? Right now? Yeah, Mike, you got this? I guess I'm going to France. No, you got to do the show.

Cora from Patreon, we answered your question. Bryn from Patreon, your local wizard appears. Oh, not again. the show. Cora from Patreon will answer your question. Bryn from Patreon, your local wizard appears. Oh, not again. Your local wizard appears has announced. Great job, producer crew. Al, why don't you read this one? Typos mean you get to read them. Your local wizard appears and he has announced that he is sending you back to your freshman

year of high school, but he will give you your choice of the following gifts. Okay. Would you rather have insane top tier athleticism that ensures you are the starter at whatever position you want. Oh man. Perfect charm that attracts your crush and easily persuades others.

I already had it. Go on. Or academic genius that easily has you graduating at the top of your class. Athlete. Yeah, it's definitely athlete. Athlete, done deal. Athlete will come with the other things.

Yeah. The grades will start to look better when my coach is. The girls, you're dumb as a rock. You have no charm. But it's like you're the quarterback. Yeah, check this charm out. Swish. Exactly.

Very charming. I'm going athlete. Yeah, and since I already had the charm, the only thing left is academic. So I think I'm good here. Mike, what are you picking? The face Mike gave you. Athlete is... You were in my high school, you knew.

I knew you didn't have the academics. I met you in a freshman Spanish class. You were missing that one. I mean, the athletics is really appealing, but, man, had to have just unlimited charisma. Because it's not just you with... Dude, it's awesome. It's not...

Mike, it is everything. It's not just you. That's the one I would have picked. Not just you trying to pull in the ladies. You can easily persuade others. It worked on teachers. It worked on everybody. It worked from faculty to janitors to upperclassmen.

Okay, so then Jason, what in the world happened? I got fat, man. Oh. I got married, went downhill, let myself go. I just stopped caring about life. So you're on your way back. I'm on my way back. I'm going to get...

We're all in big trouble here. Well, no. It's going to be good for you. My charm is going to, you know, rising tide. So we're all in big trouble here. Well, no, it's gonna be good for you. My charms gonna you know rising tide So we're gonna be good Okay, this has become something different. I think Which one are you gonna take? I think I'm gonna take the charm Okay, it would be you would have to talk to other people though

Not much as part of it not much. Oh, you just got one-liners here and there? It's just perfect. I just go, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz No, naturally charming. When I got to turn it on, it's unlimited. OK, this has turned into the weirdest, would you rather, of self-grandization. It runs on nitro. So it's like the gas tank burns out real fast. Oh, so you can turn it on, but it's just once a year. All right, Brian from Patreon, would you rather have everything you say be perceived as unintelligent

or be perceived as insincere? Oh man. Insincere is a weird descriptor. Like that's not, like you're never, I have actually, I have a couple people that I know, they cannot, maybe that's not really insincere, but they can't say something sincere. They can't say something without it being tongue in cheek or a joke. There is no serious. So there's also another side of being insincere, you know, that you just feel like people are really fake. You just feel like everything they do, how they act, their laugh, their

comments, their niceness, whatever it is, it's just all phony. It's for show. I can't stay in that. But if you're perceived as unintelligent or insincere, one of them seems more contrived and one seems accidental. Unintelligent is like, well, that's who I am. Yeah. I like Deucer's Alley, right? Go to Deucer's Alley. I like I like all three of those guys you know and they're doing the best they can and they are Sincere and so I feel like this question kind of answers itself because I I Love and respect them because they're not insincere, but I mean yeah, they're not insincere the intelligence sign I'm not gonna be dumb. Yeah, I mean either I will be intelligence. Yeah, they're not insincere. The intelligence side. I'm not gonna be dumb.

Yeah, me neither. I will be dumb. I would definitely choose the dumb. Because I think if I look at it as someone else. You don't know you're dumb. Exactly. I currently don't even know. You probably think you're really smart.

I think I'm so smart, guys. Yeah, okay. And I'm happy. Yeah, there is a good part. I'm happy living there. Well, maybe, maybe you're really smart. I think I'm so smart, guys. Yeah, okay. Most? And I'm happy. Yeah, there is a good part. I'm happy living there. Well, maybe. Maybe you're happy. Now, here's the thing.

There are dumb people that you like, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you view them like everything they say is unintelligent. Yeah, that's fair. So this question is even worse. This question is like- Yeah, dumb and unintelligent are different. This is something where when you're going around

and you're saying things, everyone is rolling their eyes going like, oh my gosh. Yeah. What an idiot. No, you can't watch a YouTube video and remove a gallbladder. Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah, like that's- You know what I mean? Like that's really unintelligent to think that. I'm gonna be insincere. Am I getting no smiles back there? Papa Josh didn't like that joke. You're getting smiles from the two people

that you weren't referring to. All right. Go to Papa Josh real quick. Papa Josh, do you believe that if you watched a YouTube video of how to remove a gallbladder, you could successfully and safely perform a gallbladder Surgery easily and I believe he's sincere You said you could lay in a plane. We'll move on Play from playing basically lands itself. Let's hey over from the website. Would you rather what happened?

Would you rather have to awkwardly tickle everyone you say goodbye to? Or be tickled by everyone who says goodbye to you I mean, I did you can't pick tickling you want to assault people People there's none of us Especially people you just met I mean you say goodbye to be all nice to meet you Especially people you just met. I mean, you say goodbye to people. Oh, nice to meet you. Hoo hoo hoo hoo.

I'm not the Pillsbury Doughboy. You cannot awkwardly tickle people you say goodbye to. What about a back rub on the way out? Oh, man. No. The touchy-feely people out there, they exist where they're just, you know, they don't have the social bubble that everyone has.

No, and they get so close. They're so close. And the people that are so close. They're handsy too I know we used to go to lunch at a place Where there was you already know there was a waitress. Yeah, she was a she was a nice way That was a proportional amount of handsy You knew whose order whose turn it, because she's rubbing your back. It's like, ah! It's not appropriate.

It was very, no imagine tickling. No imagine she's tickling. I wanted the pizza. I didn't want the side. Oh, man. I mean, have a social bubble, people. I was so happy to not remember that. I know.

That was, it was like, I mean, they had great pizza. So it's like, oh man, I hope they're not working today. I'll go sit on the inside, guys. We would definitely try to get the inside seat. I'm selfless today, guys. I'll be inside. Should have worn shoulder pads with spikes on them. I'm going to go to the restroom, get me a slice of six wings.

Oh my gosh. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back with some Ballardash. Spitwads, I have great news, and this is not great news for you. This is great news for me, because I am just now finding out that Indochino has a Black Fridayiday sale running from november 18th through

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Friday sale November 18th through December 1st and their Cyber Sale from December 2nd through December 8th. That's Indochino.com. What time is it? Game time. All right. We have been given five prompts from five different categories. Ballers gave, we gave Al our answers prior to the show. He's going to go ahead and read our answers along with the real answer. It's our job to identify whether, what basically what the real answer is. We've never explained the game properly in our lives.

And try to trick the others into guessing ours. What's all this we stuff over there? That's right, you guys will get- You've never intro'd any of them. You will get two points if you guess the correct answer and one point if an opponent guesses your answer. And those five categories are definition, notable person, acronym, movie plot, and weird laws.

All right. Sounds good. All right. We're going to start with that definition. The word is Pogonip. P-O-G-O-N-I-P. Pogonip. Pogonip. Okay. Is that a thick fog that forms in deep valleys during the winter? Canadian slang term for a blizzard

that lasts a short period of time. The tiny remaining pieces when a sugary liquid crystallizes. Or a pungent smelling bush that grows in the Ozarks. Dang, man. I like the Ozarks part. Alright. So a thick fog- Pogonip! Fog, the Canadian- The Canadian sword blizzard. The pieces of the liquid.

The crystallized sugars? Yeah, or the bouche in the Ozarks. I'm taking the Ozarks. The bouche. Do we rotate? Is that how we normally do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, I'll start then. I'm gonna take the Ozarks. Okay. So then I'm up next?

Mm-hmm. Uh...pogonip. I don't think Canadians would say it. Pogonip. Pogonip. Say it like a Canadian would. Pogonip. Pogonip. Say it like a Canadian. Pogonip. Pogonip.

Yeah, it don't work. Pogo. Pogonip. That's better. I'm going to go with that one. I'm going to go with the Canadian one. Really? That one's fun.

Oh, man. I was going to go sugar crystals, but the way that Andy said it when he was reading it back made me think it was his. I like the answer the best. I'm going to go sugar crystals. You guys are all getting one point for somebody guessing each one of your answers.

Nobody guessed the correct answer. Was the fog? Was a thick fog that forms in deep valleys during the winter. That's a Pogo. I was the Canadian one. Yeah. Mike was the sugar crystals, and Jason was the Ozark. Sorry, just, boosh.

Wow. Nice. I knew what the Ozarks in there like this is that's too much. All right. I was hoping it was yeah all right what's the next one a notable person? That is correct and our notable person is Frank Bennett. Oh Frank Bennett. What was Frank Bennett known for? Was he a man known for having hands larger than his forearm? Come on, man. That's not a real thing. The first person to circumnavigate the globe on a boat with no sails of any kind. Was it just rowing? A motor, maybe?

I know that there have been people who have taken a canoe globally, but then you see the canoe and you're like, that's not a canoe. That's a big boat. All right. Was Frank Bennett known for inventing the milk bone dog biscuit? Okay. Dog biscuits. Or was Frank Bennett a doo-wop singer from the 50s that had a run of number one hits?

No, I mean, obviously when this came across, because we've all made up one of these answers. We all want it. Frank Bennett sounds like some old. What are they? The crew and the nother mixed with a rat pack. Tony Bennett. Yeah, exactly. So no, it's not that one because I didn't. I was like, don't be a singer. Don't be a crooner. This can't be that obvious. I'm with you on that. So I guess you get his lock yours in first Oh Mike Mike Mike first. Okay, so it's not the do-wop one We got dog biscuits. We got the boat and the hands bigger than the forearms. Yeah. Yeah, I Don't care if it's right. I'm gonna take the hands that can't be it because that can't exist that can't be a real It's too funny

Biscuit that's I'm gonna go dog bone. I'm a good dog bone. All right The correct answer was inventing the milk bone dog biscuits. All right I thought for sure my laughing of the hands would get you to say Jason laying on thick that his own his own You were person he made up the hands larger than the forearms. Yeah, that was you So Jason, I believe gets three that round and he gets two No, I do want to see a man with yeah, that's correct. I do want his Mike picked his No, I didn't pick no I picked the hands. Yeah, that's Jason's. Yeah, that's mine. So Jason gets one point for that and two points for the correct answer. Oh, beautiful. Okay.

Good work. All right. Amazing. So we are moving on to the acronym. The acronym is CBA. Is CBA the Chocolate Berry Association. Come on, man. Is it Callback Artists? What? Okay. Catholic Basketball Association? Good. Or Christian Bodybuilding Association?

Uh. Okay, Jason's first. I'm gonna go Chocolate Berries. Delicious. Callback Artists. I will go go chocolate berries. Mm-hmm delicious callback artists Our we'll go the Catholic one you guys have done it again Yeah, each get one point for guessing somebody else's answer the real one Christian bodybuilding Association Oh my god, I felt like because there was both a Christian and a Catholic like that was just where our our minds went and that

I almost went I invented the Catholic basketball Association both a Christian and a Catholic, like that was just where our minds went and that. I almost went, I invented the Catholic Basketball Association, I almost went with the Christian Basketball Association. Oh, wow, that would've been very close. But that would've been weird. All right, so Mike was the chocolate berry, Jason was the callback artist, Andy was Catholic basketball. You each get one point there.

We did it again, boys. When you have an acronym, and the last one is A, it's like, Association. How do you, you can't think of a possible other word. That's fair. So through the first three we are sitting with Jason with five points, Andy with four points, Mike with two points, and we are moving on to the movie plot. Oh boy, these are fun.

The name of the movie is All the Way, Boys. All the Way. I don't know how to inflict that properly, but it's all the way, comma, boys. All the way, boys! All right. I got you. Is that a war drama set in the hills of eastern Poland and the first movie to feature actors that were actual veterans in World War II?

OK. All the way, boys! Was it a documentary on Sweden's men's volleyball gold medal trip in 1996? Volleyball Swedish volleyball, all the way boys Or is that a couple of bumbling adventurers crash land an airplane in the Andes Mountains? There's no way one of you guys didn't come up with the word bumbling. There's no way I'm not voting for that one and lastly is all the way boys,

a group of childhood friends makes a pact to join the police together, but their family dynamic is rattled when one of them makes captain, leaving the others behind. I know you read these from small cards, man. I just can't believe that that answer can fit on it. What was that last one again?

A group of childhood friends makes a pact to join the police together but their family dynamic is rattled when one of them makes captain leaving the others behind. I mean childhood friends feels like something you doofuses would write right next to bumbling. Now I'm like leaning towards the war drama or the last one. Man could people I, I mean, I feel like having actual survivors, was that World War I? World War II. Okay. WWII. A war drama set in the hills of eastern Poland in the first movie to feature actors that were actual veterans in World War II. That

feels difficult. All the way boys. I guess I'll go that stupid long one at the end, but I am on the edge All right, Andy is going with the police of friends police police one You're up Mike I know they're all really bad including my own I'm gonna go I'll just pick the one I like the most it's the Swedish volleyball team there you go I'm gonna go with the Andes Mountain bumbling was that the bumbling that is correct yeah a couple bumbling adventures crash landing an

airplane into the Andes Mountains yeah that is the correct answer Jason's gonna get three points because Mike also guessed his answer was of the Sweden's men. It was the funniest one. All the way boys! Mine was too serious. Wasn't funny enough. Yours was Poland?

And then Mike is going to get one point because Andy guessed Mike's answer of the police friendship. It just didn't seem realistic that they could have had in a drama, not in a documentary series, in a drama they're going to have actual people from World War II like, how old are they in this drama? It was filmed really quite soon after. They made movies in the 50s and the 40s. There's definitely some World War II people that got into the movie business, man. It was a very believable answer. All right, we're going into the fifth round.

Is it double points? Jason is a strong favorite. It's not double points, but technically... Why were we not double points in the last round? Andy can still tie it up if he gets it correct and both people guess his answer. We got Jason with eight, Andy with four, Mike with three, who is, I believe, no longer in this competition. He can beat Andy.

The Weird Law. In Helena, Montana, an old law stated that a woman could only dance on a table if she was... Where? Yeah, where is it? Where are they? Where is that there? Don't do that to me.

What is it, Helena? Yeah, there you go. Like Helena Troy. All right, in Helena, Montana, an old law stated that a woman could only dance on a table if she was over the age of 50, wearing over three pounds of clothing, wearing athletic footwear, or celebrating her engagement. Not the marriage. Over 50, three pounds of clothing is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Yeah, because the only way that you know if it's legal or not is we got to weigh those clothes

You put those clothes That there's a problem there absolutely not um, but also that's the answer they'll take the three pounds Well, you know what? I'm gonna give Andy a shot here I will take cuz if I guessed anything other than three pounds, then Andy can't win. Right. But I like that answer the best because you have to take the clothes off to measure. It makes no sense. So I will guess three pounds.

It is potential that if that is Andy's answer, he can win. Andy, what are you going with? I'll do the athletic footwear. The correct answer was wearing over three pounds of clothing. Oh my. So Jason and Mike each get two points for that. And then Mike actually gets one more point for the wearing athletic footwear, which was his answer.

Yeah, there you go. You passed me. Second place. Never felt so good. Mike with six. Wow, ten. That's a dominating hand. Who made these rules?

It was an old law in Helena, Montana. That's a dominating idea. Andy with four. How? Who made these rules? It was an old law in Helena, Montana. You got to weigh yourself before and after you put your clothes on? I guess. Okay. Weirdos. We'll take a break. Back with the draft.

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We things that are clear. And I have the first pick oh man you lucky dog I know there's a clear 101 oh I see what you did I clear I have kind of two things that I that came to mind when I thought about things in the world that are clear that I would want to draft and so I had a first thought and then I had a second thought, and I'm gonna go with the second thought. There's an expression, crystal clear,

and it applies to my pick, diamonds. Ooh. I'm taking diamonds. It's not a bad, it's not the 101, but it's not a bad pick. Clear and, I mean, clarity is literally one of the factors of evaluating a diamond.

It's one of the Cs. One of the Cs, huh? Yeah. So I'm going to go with diamonds. I feel like that's a good answer. It's on the list. It is a good answer. It's probably the most valuable of everything

that's going to be drafted as far as financial. We do add these up and make sure they weigh more than three pounds of gold. Yeah. Or else, get off that table. Mike, you are up. I thought you were going to take my pick. Which is clearly and obviously.

A crystal ball. Oh, the 101 falls to me. Yeah, the 101 in the clear draft, Jason. Congratulations. Enjoy your boring pick. I'll take a crystal ball, baby. That's cool. A crystal ball.

That's a cool answer. It's on my list. I like it a lot. So we both chose crystals. You both chose clear things. Yeah, but I mean, crystal clear. Yeah. Jason, what are you taking?

Well, I'm going to take the thing that we can't live without. We will literally die without water. And if you think about clear things, I'm taking h2o. Yeah Yeah snooze fast and now for my second pick for my second pick. I am also taking H2o No, I am taking a perfectly clear large cube of ice I have tried for years to perfect this I have stopped a Jason and so I have this is an important. I just want to I want to

Make sure I understand I made a joke about you being basic and you're gonna take ice and you said no Clear ice no, I said clear large cubed ice There's a difference Mike. I have seen I have spent a lot of time money energy and effort right to try to create perfectly clear Large cubes for my whiskey glasses. How do they do it? It is darn near impossible

you basically have to either do it inside of a cooler inside of a freezer or You have to actually have a giant block of ice And you chop it down into The cubes it's so hard which is why when I go to restaurants and all of them seem to have it I'm like, how do you do this? You don't know how they do it. I know I asked them they artisan ice Yeah, there are there's a company here in the early saw there. There are like the old started I started just buying them. There are like Christoff. There are companies that make Arizona. I literally saw, there are companies. Like the old school? I started just buying them. There are companies. Like Christoph?

There are companies that make millions of dollars a year manufacturing ice and cutting it into small cubes and selling it and shipping it. Worth it. It's impossible to do on your own. Now wait, it doesn't make the drink more cold. It's just the stuff for you to look at. It just looks better.

Well, it looks better, but it makes the drink not too cold. Because if you put ice in there, it just dilutes. But what if it was a foggy piece of ice? Yeah, that's why I say the fog doesn't affect your drink. Well, no, I disagree. I think that there is a visual and an aromatic taste. All of these come into... But the aromatic is affected by the fogginess of the ice? The visual is affected by the fogginess of the ice. The visual is affected by the fogginess of the ice.

The visual doesn't affect the smell. So you see the smell? If I look at something and I think it looks appetizing, it is likely to taste better than if I look at something unappetizing. Okay, I gotcha. This looks fancy, it looks regal. My nose is in the air, sure, but,

I mean, this is, when I tried to put a list together of like clear, I have tried to get more I can't just was like what's the most boring stuff nailed it. You got water and frozen water He forgot he wasn't drafting with the guys from his smoking lounge Can you like The water has to make a difference water does make it mean Arizona water Arizona water is Just it's the worst. It's the worst water imaginable. It's like little pebbles coming out of your shower head.

I mean, I feel like I have to replace shower heads every couple of years, because they're clogged. You can't spray straight anymore. Oh, man. Mike, you are back on the clock. All right. You're a lucky dog. So, man. Mike, you are back on the clock. All right. You lucky dog. So shoot, water and ice are.

Frozen water are gone. They're not available. Also, steam's not clear. So all water is completely gone. Oh, man. I messed up big time. Yeah, you did. I mean, you guys had picks before me.

Let's see. I just want to make sure that it's clear well It's just like is this the one the pick that I want to go with I'm gonna go with I'm gonna take an NBA backboard. Oh That was that was like my sneaky pick that I thought was gonna. Well, maybe you shouldn't have taken ice Well, no, he did not take Well, no he did not take Clear eyes perfectly clear large cube of ice Yes, I did and it's a great doesn't get the perfectly clear part at the front of that answer of what I'm drafting

But I have tried and my is we're all draft. Oh, okay. No, then I can I fix my perfectly clear diamond Yeah, I would like to take a better diamond an unpainted clear NBA backboard Perfect right it is. I think notice plexiglass the clear should be implied here. Yeah, NBA backboard Okay, you take that word clear out of the dock Jeremy. Um, okay nonsense. I'll give him large I'm not giving I'm not going perfectly clear though. Get that out of there. I Agree, I agree completely I'll do it myself. No paragraphs is your answer.

My two questions, my two answers here, I'm going to go with jellyfish. That's where I was. I was really torn of, do I go jellyfish or backboard? Which one will make it back? And it was not the jellyfish. I'm going to go with, I mean, what a horrible animal to come in contact to, but a cool one to look at

Right, it doesn't make sense. How are they is the question. Yeah. Yeah, what are they? What are they? What are they? Are they? They don't make sense no and they eat things tell me about it It's so weird. So if they eat something, you can see it. Yeah, I suppose. It's like when the blob, Does it disappear or you can just, like, It's microscopic, man.

What do they eat? Do they eat like a shrimp? It's too small. I don't know how it works. No one does. Papa Josh might. Oh, a marine biologist. Talk to us about jellyfish.

Those things are weird, man. They're aliens. Good answer, good answer. All right, for my- There was a chapter on it. That's all it said. For my third one, I am going to dip into Jason's territory here.

I'm going to take vodka. Oh, OK. I'm going to take vodka. So diamonds, jellyfish, and vodka. That's my world. All right, OK. I'm going to take vodka. Yeah, all right. So diamonds, jellyfish, and vodka. That's my world. Pfft. All right, Mike. Now, perfectly clear vodka is what I'm talking about. Of course.

Of course. And they have foggy stuff. Yeah. You don't want the foggy vodka. Also top shelf. Don't forget that. Yeah, we're not taking things that are foggy here. What do you want, a plastic bottle?

OK, so I'm back up? Yes, you have a crystal ball and an NBA backboard. I'm gonna take contact lenses. Oh, come on, man. That was the only thing left on my list I liked. They're incredible. Yeah, also very clear. They have to be.

Are they incredible as more of a mythology to you because you can't wear them so they seem more special than they really are? No, I think that the fact because you can't wear them so they seem more special than they really are No, I think that you can put it inside your eyelid and Then it's okay that that's that's fine And for the most part stays in place just hugs your eyeball Well, you move your eye and then you can see and now your vision's fine. It blows my mind now This is today was the day that you learned that when they give you an IV, they don't

put a needle, then keep the needle into your vein. I didn't know that until today. And honestly, a lot of people listening are about to learn that. Because even at our lunch table, there were a handful of us that were unaware. I always thought that the needle goes in the IV and then stays there and they tape it down and whatever. But apparently when they put the needle in, it's more like a catheter. They take the needle out and they just leave a little tube in there. It's a soft, flexible little tube.

Oh, it still makes me cringe, but that is so much better. It's impressive. It will help your future, I think. If I ever have to get an IV again it will not hurt it, it will help, but I will still be a big baby. All right, contact lenses Mike. Jason, you have water and a large cube of ice. Great picks, man. And you said you have so many others on your list of clear things that you're in love with. So many that I could go with. I have four different options on the rest of my list

Well, you only need two of clear. Yeah, so I could double up how many rounds we want to go Just a large circle of ice. I'm gonna go with Something that protects us every day I'm going with the car windshield. Oh, because without it, I yeah, it's like I thought you were going a little bit bigger there. But yeah, me too. Fine. Well, like how much bigger? Well, we'll tell you. Yeah. Just tell me what you thought I was going to pick a lot bigger. Significantly bigger. Yeah. it's like big as the world. Yeah. Yeah that one like Atmosphere

Oxygen Okay, he's looking for something other than whatever number four in that list is I don't know if we're doing a bit I Think Mike thought it was oxygen. No, no, okay Okay, we're not doing a bit No, I don't I don't have a clue I wonder if the listeners know oh they know I Hope they know I hope they know I hope it's your next users alley raise of I hope they know I hope they know I hope it's your next users alley raise of All right, the young buck doesn't know it protects well he has less than we had

Or no, we're fixing it. Oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. I have no idea Just take your pick give me me Sprite. It's clear. Whatever. That's fine. Mike can decide if he wants to take it. I, uh, it wasn't even on my list. I know. I think we pass on it. OK.

Yeah. OK. I just, I'm so curious. We'll let you know in a moment. I know how the Falcon is feeling right now and how a lot of people driving are feeling, like, what is the thing? I got one left over now.

I'm gonna take packing tape. You should have taken the other one that we were just saying. You mocked my perfectly clear large cube ice. You took packing tape. What is wrong with packing tape? Nothing's wrong with it, it's just pretty lame. Oh, okay.

I mean, it's cool. It works. It's sticky. But it's not not boring. Yeah. Okay. Are you pretty into it? Packing tape is fun. Okay.

Okay, I mean, you can take a box, right? You can close that box, and then you can make sure it doesn't open again. No, I got it. And you can barely even see that something's holding it closed. Okay. Because it I got it. And you can barely even see that something's holding it closed. Okay. Because it's so clear. I'm gonna be honest with you. I can 100% of the time tell when packing tapes on the box.

But it's clear, how do you see it? Yeah, and yet you can still pack. Oh man. Well, I'll close it out with clear skies. I'm gonna take clear skies. Is that appropriate? I didn't know if it would get in there. I don't give a crap man. But the sky is blue. You could take the sun for all I care. I don't care. Black polos. Fine by me. I'll close it out with clear skies

today. No clouds. No pollution. I know what it means. So I could have gone like clear headed. Yeah? No, I mean, clear head's not an expression and it's something you look at. Deucers can decide. I don't care. I got other stuff.

I'm not living on that. I'm with Jason on this one. You don't care? Mike, Mike, I don't care. I will say if clear skies is a pick, clear headed would also be legit. Oh, clear headed. Yeah.

I thought you said a clear head. No. I was like, I was like a clear head. No one can see through anyone's head. So wait, do we have any, Papa Josh, why don't you tell the people? We don't care. Tell the people the one that he didn't figure out.

Air? No. No. Ozone. Thank you. The ozone layer. I said the atmosphere. But the atmosphere is not the ozone layer. But I wanted it all. I wanted all of the layers. Some other considerations. Glasses or sunglasses? Sure. I'm so disappointed with ozone. Jello? I was waiting for some big reveal. Jello. Jello is red. It's clear. Jello is always red.

That's not even true. I'm going to have to go with Jello's red. Yeah. But it's clear. You can see through Jello. Wait, you're saying that if you can see through something, it's clear. Yeah.

That's not the definition of clear. Yeah, now the clear skies is being explained right now. Yeah. So's not the definition of clear. Yeah. Now, now that's transparent. Clear skies is being explained right now. That's transparent. Yeah. So, Dan, in that case... Clear is no color....film is clear or not clear? Because you can hold it up and look through it. Yeah, I would say that's translucent. Sap? No, sap is yellow. Sap is definitely not clear. Sap's like yellow. You can see through it. That's transparent. You don't know what transparent and clear are those are do different words Transparent means the end Of all I must have picked four good ones first second of all clear like when I looked for clear things these were all in the list

That's I mean clear When I when I asked for a list of things from the internet, I found many things that were on the list that I did not add to my list because I was like, oh, that's not clear. Yeah. Like a Ziploc bag. Boy, I got away with murder here. Saran wrap. Yeah?

Yeah. Al, all those weird? I would say something that is transparent is clear. That's literally the definition of transparent. That's right. No. That's the definition of transparent, yes. Not the definition of clear. Clear is literally the definition of transparent. That's right. That's the definition of transparent. Yes. Clear is like an absence of color. You can just see right through it. We don't even know what we're drafting. Oh man, start over. So you're saying like a glass of beer, that's not clear? Correct. That is clear. No, it's yellow. You can see

through to the other side of it. Oh, so it's transparent? Yeah, that's clear. Ha ha ha ha ha! This is, this is, this is... It is also transparent. So like, a... So when you get one glass of beer, and you can see through it, and one that you can't, you go, oh, this one looks clear. So like a sheer piece of fabric. Mm-hmm.

You can see through that. That's clear. Is that clear? That's trans- No, that's foggy. That's translucent. Yeah. Thanks, translucent. Yeah. Thanks, Al.

But you get it. OK. The only thing that's not clear are these definitions. Oh, here you go. Josh says clear means that you can see through it. And it is colorless. There you go. Transparent means you can see through,

see objects through it, but it may be transparent. Oh, that's like what we were saying the whole time. I lucked into picking for actually clear things. Yes, you did. And didn't get to the bottom of the list because packing tape and some of these other ones got me there. OK.

Well, good. I'll jump in here. What did we learn today? I learned that clear needs to be colorless. Yeah. I learned that once upon a time, Jason was charming. Yeah. I learned that you guys think ozone is better than atmosphere, which makes no sense

because I got it all. I had the ozone in it. Did you take atmosphere? No. I was trying to guess. You said, oh, that's not it. It's better. He went with sprite.

Oh, that's right. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.