Stavvy's World - #110 - Matteo Lane and Nick Smith

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Matteo Lane and Nick Smith join the pod to discuss their podcast I Never Liked You, Matteo's Can't Stop Talking Tour, their serendipitous meeting, their preferred Super Smash Bros. characters, Nick's feud with Lizzo, Danny Devito, Nick having a girlfriend before coming out, and much more. Matteo, Nick and Stav help callers including a man concerned about his flat-earther wife's influence on their son, and a woman who wants to reignite the faded interest of a paypig she met on Bumble. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to score $200 IN BONUS BETS INSTANTLY when you bet just $5. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Go to https://www.prettylitter.com/stavvy to save 20% off your first order — AND get a free cat toy Check out Matteo and Nick's podcast I Never Liked You: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsU99VnaUpov58D6ttyS8L3n-j2l8Fg3L  See Matteo Lane live and follow him on social media: https://matteolanecomedy.com/ https://www.tiktok.com/@matteolane    https://www.instagram.com/matteolane https://www.youtube.com/@matteolanecomedy   Follow Nick Smith on social media: https://www.youtube.com/@NickSmith09   https://www.instagram.com/nicksmith09/ https://x.com/thatnicksmith09 https://www.tiktok.com/@thatnicksmith09 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets 🎥 Rent or buy LET'S START A CULT at https://stavvy.biz/movie ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

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please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor for your charge. Oppa! Happy New Year, everyone. I'm coming to you from the Wellness Dojo here in Baltimore. You know, I'm working out, I got my treadmill over there. We have an incredible episode here coming up with Matteo, friend of the show, and Nick, new friend of the show. They were incredible. What a duo, so funny. I just wanted to remind you,

tickets for the Dream Boat Tour are on sale now. We're coming to a whole ton of cities. Check it out. We're posting it right now. I can't wait to see you there. All new stuff, nothing from the specials. And also, calendars, baby. It's January. Buy yourself a Stavi Baby calendar. Why not? Wanted to let you know about those things. Very important.

My stand-up comedy and my nude body. Two things I want you to check out. And without further ado, let's start the show. Opa! Welcome everyone to Stavisworld. 904-800-STOV. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We're happy to have, returning of course, not a busboy in a Greek restaurant, even though he does look like it right now. I look like a busboy.

Mateo Lane. Man, man, man, I've got his skull. I look like the cast of my Big Fat Greek buddy. Yeah, that is true. like the cast of my Big Fat Greek body. Yeah, that is true. We do have everyone represented here. Nick Smith, thank you for coming. First time.

Nick is Greek, right? Nick is Greek, yeah. Yeah. Nikos. Yeah. Nikolaos. Thanks for coming, fellas. You know, you've obviously been here a bunch.

Nick, first time, but we're thrilled to have you. I've seen your guys' clips. You do the pod. Where did you... plug your pod right up top. Our podcast is called I Never Liked You, and it's a 15 minute podcast, and we, I was just telling Eldis, we do, so we don't have a studio, but Nick's a real estate agent.

We don't have much of anything, so. It's pretty choppy. It's pretty, yeah. It's a dog and pony show, but we find these like $12 million houses that have already been staged. That's awesome. And then just set up in there, film like 12 episodes in a day and call it, you know, we're like, alright, see you next time, bye.

That is awesome. We don't speak for three months. That's a lie. Nick calls me seven times a day. That's why we did the podcast, because he calls me so much. And the conversation is that he never has called me. Almost never. You act like I'm your stalker.

Kind of. How did you guys meet? We met because of him and Bob the Drag Queen were blowing each other and then I realized that there was no sexual chemistry because Nick dresses like a Chinese Vase. You guys are awesome. You guys are so sick. Yeah so we were sucking each other off for three months and then we're like wait are you having a good time? Not really. Are you? No. Let's just be boys. And didn't you guys start watching YouTube videos together? What actually happened? That's what happened. It was very straight. This is the gay McDonald's. What's that character called?

You are Grimace. Yeah. Gay or Grimace, I should say. OK, it was a very straight sort of manly approach. I think Grimace is straight coded. Yeah. OK. You think he's you know, a lot of gay Grimaces? Well, his name is Grimace. He works forcoated. Yeah. OK. You know a lot of gay grimaces? Well, his name is Grimace. That's true.

He works for McDonald's. That's true. Now, Bob and I met on Grindr, as you do, and we hooked up. But that night, after hooking up, we started watching five hours of YouTube videos, specifically Golden Buzzer moments on Britain's Got Talent. Oh, wow. That is our crew.

That's beautiful. But that's what's straight. You do that with your our crew. That's beautiful. But that's a straight, you do that with your straight friends, right? Sure, we were watching Howard, actually just yesterday we were watching Beetlejuice from Howard Stern videos here. So yeah, similar. Beetlejuice was the only one.

Beetlejuice was the only one. After we blow each other. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite whack packer is Eric the actor. Eric's good. Beetlejuice, his answers, you never know which, I'm sorry, so go ahead.

Well anyways, so go ahead. Well anyways, so we started watching that and then we were like, I think we're friends. Yeah. And we were friends for a little bit until he realized that I was a gay orphan with no other gay friends. Oh really?

And he goes, you need gay friends here. And then he introduced me to this idiot. He pawned you off. He forced him on us. Force. Force. Hated each other from the jump. Right. Interesting.

Fighting while playing super smart. Crew is like Bob the Drag Queen. Monet exchange me, our friend, Jacob, Nick. And we either only watch YouTube videos all day or we just play video games together. Sure. And so when we play Super Smash Brothers, I always play as Jigglypuff. Because you can kind of float around and come in for the kill. Yeah. Jigglypuff or Jigglypuff. Oh, you can kind of float around Yeah, Jigglypuff or J. Oh, Jigglypuff. Yeah. Yeah, Kirby Kirby has the smash attack. Yes. Yeah Yeah, yeah, Jigglypuff is just a useless pink puff. I kind of agree. What's Jigglypuff's big move? So put him to sleep

It's called the rollout. No, it's called the rollout So you could float while everyone's fighting and then you do this roll charge up You come and knock people off right right right great Now you float in the air until everyone else has died and there's one person left with one life And then you come down that your cheat maneuver Matteo Wow Wow, it's not you play with no honor you play with no honor Purple heart no What do you play with Nick? Um

You know, I mix it up. I do like Kirby sometimes or Corrin because okay kind of cool. Oh, yeah She does look yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's from like the rain the Roy and Marth universe Probably if I had to guess the what the those other guys with swords Roy and Marth Sure. Yeah We never really you know the loyal characters like I'm not playing as a guy when we play in fortnight He plays we call her the secretary. So she's in a pencil skirt with glasses and heels Yeah, that is that's insane because that's for sure, little boys are too, it's too get little boys horny. That's why the sexy secretary.

Order and power gay adult men. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing gets me going more than when I hear heels. Oh, the heels. And he sucks. We play with our friends Donnie and Simmer and Corey, who are very straight.

They play hockey. They're from Pittsburgh and they're very good at the game I'm very good at the game Nick hockey in Pittsburgh, by the way is what Matteo considers being straight All of us straight guys and then this faggot For four years and Nick has learned nothing nothing so we're all in the battle looking beautiful I just started building. Okay. But he is a good sniper so it's weird that we're in the middle of a battle.

All of a sudden you'll see someone die and Nick's like, got him. Nice. Awesome. I like that. There's nothing wrong with that. You need someone like that on the team. I do like a sniper. A sniper has more honor than Jigglypuff.

Thank you. Jigglypuff. You never say. Most things have more honor than Jigglypuff. You can put up to sleep as Jigglypuff. Sure. Thank you You put up the sleep is jigglypuff sure but what jigglypuff her better move It's called dream eater and what happens is when you get really close to someone who pressed down B She falls asleep and it knocks them off, but it's very hard to get it was better in melee I like her melee on GameCube better. I'm a GameCube guy as well. I just bought a GameCube. I've been replaying it

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me and Chris Condon. Great comic shout out. We've been playing X-Men Legends. Oh, that was a good one. What's that? Dragon? I played that on GameCube. It was a he was a purple dragon. Spyro was PlayStation. No, it was on GameCube. I remember if they ported it over. I feel like you know you're talking. I feel like you. I only have my brother was really big into gaming and I really wasn't. I only had a GameCube to play Mario Kart and Spyro. Interesting, I'll take your word for it. I feel like you have a few cherished gaming memories

and I won't take those from you. That's about it, are you kidding me right now? Why not? I decided this weekend I'm gonna vape and then I'll be done. I go in and I'm like- Have you ever vaped before? Yeah, Rosebud.

Every day for the last year. Interesting. What are you talking about? It comes and goes. So is Bob. Bob's vaping now too. Okay, why don't you throw everybody under? Maybe it's about you. Maybe not. I won't. It's fine. I like, by the way, Matteo, this you can tell when you really believe in hair plugs when you go with that haircut. This is the like, all right, they took, I'm gonna really flaunt them. I tell her, who paid for hair transplant. I respect it, I respect it. Because it's not about the hair, it's about the hairline.

Those who have lost their hair know, it's about the hairline. And I wanted a buzz because I don't wanna think about it. My relationship with my hair has been difficult and triggering. So I just want to get out of fucking bed and that's it. And so I go to this guy, this Dominican guy, his name is well, his name is Jaime, but he goes by Nelson. I have no idea. Anyway, but he told me he because I was like, I want a buzz cut

thinking they're just going to buzz it. And he was very much like, no, it has to be real artistic style. You have to really call it you have to know so we could charge you $80 instead of just 20 bucks I leave with full confidence I'm like I know I'd like to see a straight buzz just just to see what it looks like I mean this is it's already a week out so I mean it grows pretty come on my noxidil so my hair grows really quickly So I'm going like every other week to get my hair cut. But I like it, I think it's a good look.

Even though. I mean, your head shape works for it. Yeah. It's a good look, I like it. Yeah, I really think it's a power move to get plugs and then go buzz it. Yeah, I mean you've known me at all my hair from wearing the hat, I only wore hats, and then I had like the quaff look to kind of cover it and then I had the I don't even know

Lesbian chic last year and then I got the other hair transplant now the other spectrum of lesbian chic Me and Paris Hachet rockin Paris makes me laugh harder than I think anybody she She's also has she been on this podcast? Yeah, she's fucking so fucking. I fucking I love her. She's a great hang. Yeah, no, I mean, I mean, Paris goes all the way. We did open mics in D.C. together. I knew her when she was still thought she was straight. Right.

Yeah. A wild time. When her name was Barcelona. Yeah, she was. It was awesome. I remember her being was Barcelona. Yeah, it was awesome. I remember her being drunk as shit at a hookah bar, open mic and me thinking she was just a fun audience member. And it was like one of their first times she had done it. They called her up and she was just like, like, fucking so fucked up. But didn't we all have to drink when we first went up?

I never did. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. OK, OK. I got up there, talked about not being so fat I couldn't wipe my ass sober as a as an open mic-er. Yeah, I mean my material is so atrocious. My material is so... He certainly didn't hear that. His first open mic. Pumping in the applause. Eldest actually was there. Oh, I saw that joke probably hundreds of times in college. Relax about hundreds. I saw that when the artist had to work out that joke. You of times in college. Relax about hundreds. The artist had to work out that joke. You have to work that out.

I get it. That was in the, I would say it was never a show stopper, but it was in the middle of, you know, kind of filler, but kind of on the stronger end of filler. It gave you an identity to the other wannabe comics? Well, it just, I just needed it structurally for my act at the time. I needed to get to, I believe another one was the there was a punch line that was the rip paddling up the river of semen and tears was one of them because I'm jerking off and crying you know I'm not getting so we're used to

that was that was stops big clothes that was three years and I not relax with the years it was the first year. That was my big Years you're doing it a lot I thought I was like going crazy because I would see this thing like Kill and like so many open mics and like College Park, Maryland. Yeah, like what is going on? Yeah, I mean it was funny, but like that really did bring the house down and brought that down I was closing on Christina Aguilera doing the alphabet joke for a solid year in New York.

Yeah. So you haven't changed. I haven't changed at all to be honest. Nick just started doing open mics. Ah, why? I said, if you want to do stand up. Don't do it, Nick. I said, I did. I said, if you want to do stand up, I said, you got to do,

don't do these bringer shows. You don't get, you go, you got to go to the go to the migra you got it, but the scene has changed Dramatically and when we start and in tears not as much of a hit really We'll see about that you I'd love to be able to take me Yeah, I'm gonna do the like the undercover boss thing but change my face to be an open mic or again And just do my pathetic material. No one will recognize you. You're gonna get dressed up like the penguins? Like how are you gonna dress like a monocle and a top hat? Like what are you gonna do? I'll tell you what I okay that's a good idea to stay out of problematic territory that really leaves us with I'd have to go Nordic probably. Sure. You know what I mean? I'd have to go like

super bleach blonde you know. You think it's a Greek that you could ever pass for Nordic? That's what I'm saying. It would take a little makeup. A little. You know, it would take quite a bit of makeup. You can do it. I believe in you. Thank you, Nick. I appreciate it. What would your name be? Hmm. Sven?

Shondros? Yeah. No, we got to get them off the scent. Maybe I'd have a... Maybe it would be hard for me to also be Nordic I think yeah Yeah, I guess it is much easier to go from thin to fat. It's kind of hard to just I guess I could be even fatter Corset on Oh course it somebody some shapewear. Yeah, Jiminy Clique outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just come up. And what do you do? Jiminy Clique's awesome.

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I went to the Knicks game last night with Sam Morrell. How was it? It was awesome. Well, I mean, it was awesome. First of all, I was in love with it because I was sitting courtside with Sam Morrell, looking at Anne Hathaway and Michael J. Fox. And then Sam was like, dude, we can watch games anytime.

You can come up, says, this is a courtside thing. I like the food, the steak, the celebrities, but it was a really good game. And I think Heart, what's his name? Heart on the Knicks is hot. Did you know what was happening? Yeah, I know what the hell's happening. I know basketball.

I used to go- Don't act. That was a crazy question. It's kind of easy. I do. Basketball's much easier to follow. Yeah. Ball in the hoop, you know what I mean?

Okay, but like, when they... Do you know what's going on with basketball? I used to play as a child. Oh, really? As a little boy. Yeah. I'm six foot three, of course I did. That's awesome.

You played volleyball? What did you play? I did play volleyball and soccer and baseball and track. Wow. What a faggot, a multi-sport athlete. Where'd you grow up? Right outside Scranton, Pennsylvania. Oh, working class. What's the name of the town?

The name of the town is New Milford. And how many people live there? 750. And who's the mayor? My father. Wow, I didn't know we were talking New Milford royalty. I am the second, I'm the spare heir. Oh, yeah. You were the second.

I was like waiting for Gufman. You've been waiting for Gufman. It's been a long time. The town is like a small town and like Blaine, this guy named Blaine discovered the town. So they interviewed this woman. She's like, being a Blaine hasn't been easy. I can certainly relate to how the Kennedys feel. What's the way? What are the mayoral duties of new Milford? Making sure that meth isn't on the street. Honestly not even that. He doesn't have to really do anything. He's still the

mayor. He's still that. It's funny I called my mom the other day because there was... So how many? I'm just just... when you were a boy was he the mayor of new Milford? No. So he's been mayor right when I graduated high school. So it's been maybe almost 15 years now. Wow, wow. And I forget that he's mayor all the time. And I called my mom the other day because there was a pretty major election recently

in case I needed to know. Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I called. Did it affect the local New Milford race? Yeah, you know it was really. Did it go that far down ballot? Was really tight. But I called my mom.

Who did he endorse? A lot of signs. They were actually waiting for his endorsement. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's why we lost Pennsylvania. If only all 750 New Milford residents had voted. In hindsight, but I called my mom and I was like, oh, is dad on the ballot?

And she goes, oh, I don't think so actually. And I said, well, when is he up for election? She goes, to be quite honest, I don't know. I actually forgot he was the mayor. I was like, you're the first lady of New Milford. Show some fucking, yeah, show some respect for the office. We did, one time me, Bob and Nick, we look up like aerial views of where we grew up. So Bob grew up in Atlanta, I grew up in Chicago. So of course,

there's like these drone footage of the cities. So then we looked up and they have one of Nick's, they didn't like put music with it so you just hear the drone like going up a tree that it's just like a shitty church yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah house yeah hell yeah priest did you guys have like stoplights in the town we don't have it it's one mile long the whole town one mile there's not a single stoplight there's one intersection that there could be they can't afford it. There are a couple bridges, one is out, they can't afford to fix it. So it's all just a stop sign at the intersection or is it a car?

There are stop signs. Okay, that's cool. Well, you can build off that. Yeah. You can go from stop sign to street light. A lot of bars, a lot of garages for cars, and a lot of churches. Interesting. It's one mile long and a lot of churches. Interesting. It's one mile long and there are six churches.

Wow. Yeah. Was the school there or did you have to go to a neighboring town to go to school? The school's like up on the hill. It was maybe like a six minute drive. Gotcha. This is why his education didn't happen

and why we got into a fight with Lizzo publicly when. You beefed with Lizzo? We did. We did. We did. And did. We did. We're not even one of her backup dancers. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, I brought her out of her silence on that. Nick did. Nick really did. Oh, wow, that is huge. His power. He really did. Okay, interesting. So what happened is,

did she steal making people eat bananas out of each other's asses for mealworm? Well, so that's what we do on the podcast. Anyway. Yes. Hard joke. He made me eat a banana. I did. That's sort of a, oh.

No, we were talking about, we were talking about Disney movies. Anyway, so I said- World War II. Yes, but- I didn't know when World War II was. And I said, okay, I'll give you a clue. We entered the war when the Wizard of Oz came out. I said, do you know when World War II was?

He goes, the 1800s. I said, do you know when World War II was, he goes, the 1800s? I go, you think in the 1800s we had cameras and planes? I said, well, and I said, 1939. He goes, you mean to tell me that the world went to war and our response was the Wizard of Oz, which is a funny response. So Lizzo hadn't talked publicly for months since her incident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of a sudden on her TikTok, everyone's messaging us. Our video comes up and then she comments doing her makeup. Like, I hope these two are joking because this is sad about the American education. Wait, really? Yes, just completely unprovoked. Completely unprovoked.

She posts a three minute TikTok response calling me the failure of the American education system. Which in her defense. Why the fuck would Lizzo weigh in on that? She's not, why would she weigh in? You are right. Yeah. She's not wrong.

Yeah. She's not wrong. I am a failure of the American education system, but that's what broke your silence. And then some PR persons like, look, white gay guys, you're safe. They're white, so fucking weird. So people are gonna be against them,

they're gay, so homophobes are gonna be against them. That's the sweet spot. I maybe would have targeted mask white lesbians if I were you to be a little safer, but go ahead. With this video, this video really speaks to you. Go off, Lizzo. Well, the comments were great because they were one going after Lizzo and Nick

at the same time, they're like, Nick may be a fucking moron He knows nothing Later she put a giant poster Instagram. She's like, that's it. I'm quitting Instagram Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter,

Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, It's like, right. She went on to her TikTok. Yeah. And somehow that was on her for you page.

And it pissed off so much. She didn't just like send it to a friend and say, look at this fucking dummy. She made a three minute response. That was her first post for you for months. That's awesome. I have no no history with Lizzo whatsoever. I'm not. We don't know her. We do not know her. I like her music. Well, I don't like her music anymore. What's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so what's so certain people just for whatever reason, certain people don't like them. Has that ever been an issue? Most people don't like them, not in defense.

I was gonna say, Stavros, I'm gonna stop you there. You can't get too philosophical about this. No one likes me. Name the demographic, they don't like me. Almost every single week there's more mob mentality coming after us how much they hate Nick. He's an idiot, he knows nothing, he's pissed. We've pissed off at everybody. Everyone. And I thought, okay, I'll do a short little 15 minute podcast with my friend.

It'll be fun. We've got good chemistry. And then in a few weeks, we're in a fight with everybody. That's awesome. How about we backtrack and kind of see how this was created? Because I'm fascinated. A couple data points here. First, being growing up in Scrant, or outside of Scranton, whatever, in a small-ass town. That's very interesting. And then where we started where you said you were a gay orphan, you had no gay friends. Let's kind of like, how do we get there? Who was the gayest person you knew growing up

other than yourself? Besides your outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So surprisingly, all these years later, I went to school with the same 90 kids from preschool to 12th grade. Wow. That's tough.

That sucks no matter who you are. That's tough. I was classed. Because you can't re, you're kind of stuck into the dynamics of preschool. Everyone knows everyone. Whatever you did, if you fucking shit your pants as a little kid,

that would follow you until you were 18. And did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we all hated each other by the end of it. I was class president and I gave a speech at graduation. Politics runs in the family. We are, we're the Kennedys. You're the Kennedys of New Milford. You haven't been killed yet. Yeah yeah. But this is not an exaggeration verbatim at my class speech at graduation. I literally go, well, we made it. We don't like each other.

Probably won't keep in touch after this. But we did it. And the local newspaper literally printed a headline, class divided, graduates united. And it's true. We still don't talk. We've never had a class reunion. Partly because I'm responsible for putting that together

and I'm certainly not doing that shit. But in hindsight, what I was gonna say, 90 people, there are 10 gays. Wow. Popping out faggots left and right in New York for Pennsylvania. I feel like my graduating class was like 700 and it was like me and one other person.

There were like no gays. Yeah, a lot of gays from my class. And was there, did anybody, was everybody closeted the whole time? Everyone was closeted, except there were maybe like a couple that were out back then. Not treated well, as you could probably imagine.

But Nick had a girlfriend. Girlfriend! I did have a girlfriend in high school. She was the only one that cried when I came out. But we met doing musicals and I was practicing the softball pitch in my backyard. So who's the idiot there? That's on her. That's on her. That is, I absolutely, a tale as old as time though is the like, the earnest straight girl

who like, who doesn't understand that what she's attracted to your girl Yeah, the theater girl who doesn't understand that that pizzazz that she's attracted to is not a straight auditioning for Elphaba We did a drag number of Greece and I played Olivia Newton of Greece and I played Olivia Newton-John. But now there's nowhere to hide. That's awesome. Devastated. Just seeing you, just seeing you with a cherry red lip being like, oh, when I get my hands on him,

I'm going to have a straight intercourse with that man. Yeah, Nick's life. You never had you you never had a girlfriend. He did have a girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, we that's you never had you. You never had a girlfriend. He did have a girlfriend. Yeah. Oh, we talked about this. Yes. At the oh, Francesca. Yes. But that was, you know, your your Michael's

your Michael's another another sign. If it's a if it's a if it's a musical or an arts and crafts store where you made your where you met your high school boyfriend. Gals, we got news for you. He's probably gay. Yeah, absolutely.

My aunt Cindy, by the way, loved the clip about the Maleficent doll. She loved it. That clip really took off. It really did, it really did. I mean, it really took off. It was awesome. That was one of my favorite moments of the podcast.

She was like, I just didn't know. She goes, I just thought he wanted like a Maleficent. On some level, she knew. Oh, she knew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're buying your. Oh, she knew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you say, when you're buying your nephew some horned bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A crystal bitchy woman. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A little boy. That was the other thing is she, so my ex-girlfriend, I don't even know why I'm calling her my ex-girlfriend. We were children.

She cried. Yeah. But similar to Matteo's family, your aunt being like, we should have known. When I came out, I only came out to my mother and my grandmother and both had the exact same response. It was after I'd moved to New York after my freshman year of college, I told them both

and they both go, well, everyone talks about it. But no one was gonna say it before you did. That's fucking awesome. You couldn't give a context clue to me at least? I want to come out years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is so funny. We all talk about it. Yeah, we're, yeah, I mean, it's going to be interesting to see, I mean, my brother, my brother's trying to have kids and he's talking about how he just wants the gay son of all time.

My little brother's like that would be so sick. It's a lot of crying. Yeah. Well, you know, could be fun. Yeah. But in a Greek family, gays, please. Sure, but the real classic. See Greek gay is like, you really enjoy the secret gay sex you have.

That's sort of the more Greek style. You mean shame? Huh? Living within shame? There's very little shame. Greek guys are like, oh. They invented gay sex you have. That's sort of the more Greek style. You mean shame? No, there's very little shame. Greek guys are like- I was gonna say, they invented gay sex. Greek guys are like, wow, I fucked the guy, I'm not gay. That's sort of like Greek logic.

That's ancient Greek philosophy. They didn't let that one go. No, no, no. It's like that meme that goes around where they were saying the strongest soldiers were the ones that swallowed the most loads I don't know we got we got a five-star general on the couch Play taps Elvis I really make my parents proud.

I know, they did say that. They were like, oh, because they thought that they were like passing down knowledge. I was like, first of all, no one's ever received knowledge from a top. Let's get that out of the way. Yeah, yeah, interesting. Yes. This time of year, every cat is an indoor cat. And when it's freezing outside, I'm an indoor human.

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and get a free cat toy. Prettylitter.com slash Stavi. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. It's funny how much like ancient shit you hear about where it's like one gay guy was in charge. And that's how it was like, yeah, you actually get strength from sucking my dick. You know what I mean? It's like, it's just so clear when you go back, the same way like every religion has a little hat. It's because the guys in charge all had bald spots. There's no way God. They should have had his doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. If it mattered, they would have shaved it anyway. That's true.

They would have taken a little. I think it looks good. It does look good, buddy. Is Julius Caesar Greek? No, he's Italian. What? He's Roman. He's Roman.

Ancient Rome. Oh, see, here we go. Oh, I like this, yeah. They stole our whole shit, Nick. That's not your fault. We did. That is not my fault. That's not my fault.

Yeah. I will say, where Julius was stabbed in Rome, Our whole shit Nick. That's not your fault. We didn't roll my fault. That's not my fault Where Julius was stabbed in Rome is now they have it you can still like see it It's just there, but it's now become a cat sanctuary. So when you walk by look, well, that's Caesar He was killed there, but then there's just like a bunch of cats running around My birthday is the Ides of March which has some Caesar, right? That's what he got killed. I believe Is the Ides of March which has some Caesar right? That's what he got killed. I believe Purple he was he was big on he did he was a big big supporter of grimace And I believe he was I feel like the Ola's Roman got a lot of them were kind of if not gay bye He had a wife, but he was gay back then. Yeah, well they had different rules. I just watched like a whole history I love that shit. You ever see weird history on YouTube?

Yeah, sometimes they go with it. Yeah. And so they were talking about like what it's like to be gay, like in the Greek times and Roman times and stuff. I mean, there was kind of rules to it. It wasn't so it wasn't the way we view gay today. Yeah. There was still like, you know, it was not looked down upon.

But it was like there was still it was still always like left I know like there was I really was I was that's the joke I made earlier was they did kind of see it as like Getting fucked in the ass was like childish Because they would fuck that was like a thing you did as a boy you and your friends were fucking check You were just get getting molested was such a part of the fucking culture that they're like wow Wait, you grow up you still get fucked in the ass. That's what you do in your 15 That's that was literally how they looked at it. There was like a little only lived in 19 Yeah, it was like in a play

They had like a specific name for like grown men that get fucked in the ass with the Pope said it Fragitoni like Bagotry that's that's hysterical said it, Fragitone, like faggotry. That's hysterical. Awesome. I mean, that's hysterical. To see it in- He said it twice, and by the way, everyone in Italy was laughing about it.

Everyone was like, ah. Cause he put a little, it's like a, he put a little stank on it. Yeah, because it wasn't, froccio means faggot, right? And frocino is like little faggot. He said froccio, can you look it up? I think it's froccio, froccio.

Faggot boy. No, it means, it literally means faggotry. It's in his already, like it pops up, it auto- Poked up. I think it's a faggot boy It's in his already like it pops up it auto poetry elders elders has like in his bookmarks way to say In Italian way to call people game. Let's see what he said. I believe a tree. Yeah We covered this on Kush brothers eldest Bro, bro, jean jean father's eldest. Yeah, Frodjine. Frodjine. Frodjine. Frodjine. Frodjine. Frodjine. Frodjine.

Frodjo and Frodjino. Frodjine is so funny. Frodjine. To put a little cute suffix on a slur is so fucking funny. A little faggot. Yeah. Just a wee little faggot. But not wrong, in the Vatican there is a lot of air of faggotry.

He's wearing a fucking ball gown. There are times when you walk through Rome and out like the corner of my eye, I see a store, I'm like Drag Race, and then it's like a Pope place, like a Cardinal place to buy dresses for themselves. Gays are fucking capitalists. They're wearing bejeweled crucifixes.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's gays. I mean, who do they think they are, Madonna? With the fucking smoke, it's like a Lady Gaga concert. Get out of here. They are setting the mood. It's absolutely gay as hell for sure. Wait, I have to pee so bad. You guys can go ahead. Are you kidding me? I pee all the time. You's absolutely gay as hell for you. I have to pee so bad you guys are you Professional this guy you see why we can only do 15 minutes

That so it so did you do you're the only child of the of the no I have an older brother But people say I give only child energy. He's four years older though. I forget that I have a brother sometimes. I'm just kidding. He probably watches us. I've had a podcast with Mateo for a year now. Not a single word from this man and we couldn't be more opposite. He's straight, bald, kind of chubby, lives on a farm, wife, two kids. Sounds like our kind of guy. Sure. He might be listening for real. Well, so I was gonna say, I've had a podcast for a year, never mentioned it.

We go on Andrew Santino's podcast, you are on Andrew Santino's podcast. Yes, and your brother has a podcast, Jordan. I bet you listen to that every once in a while. Andrew Santino's podcast, suddenly that question, you did Andrew Santino's podcast? Yeah, I love that though. And so you moved, you left,

you came here to study what? Theater? Opera. Opera, oh, is that interesting. Which he has a really beautiful opera, I know he sounds like Squidward, but he has like a really beautiful baritone bass. I think we need to backtrack a little. Why did you think I came to study theater?

Because why? Because of the Louie and Newton John anecdote from earlier. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Because of that. Because I'm Greek. Yeah. We can do a mixed singing opera on YouTube. We can look up.

It's really good. We don't need to look that up. Yes, you do. Go to YouTube and type Nick Smith Opera. I was 19 in it. We don't need to look it up. And he's amazing. Opera seems like so impossible to have, like stand up as stupid and hard to make a career in.

But I have a friend who, she's an opera singer and it seems so impossible to just like, even if you're good. I will say we're very spoiled because one of our good friends is Nadine Sierra, who is the top soprano at the Metropolitan Opera. And like, first of all, she sang with me at Carnegie Hall, at the end soprano at the Metropolitan Opera. Whoa, that's sick. Like, first of all, she's staying with me at Carnegie Hall. At the end, we cannot sing together. Oh, I saw that, yeah. She's also just cool. And beautiful. And stunning, yeah.

And her voice is amazing. But then now, Nick and I are so spoiled. She's like, oh, do you want to come to see Rigoletto at the opera? Oh, do you guys want to come see me and Bocelli sing? And we're like, yes, we'll be there. That's awesome. So it's our, it's. That's your court side.

That is my, that's what I was saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. So it's our, it's- That's your court side. That is my, that's what I was saying. That's my court side. Actually one time we sat, she got us tickets to see her in Lucia. Yeah. And we were sitting front row at the Metropolitan Opera. These are like thousand dollar seats. And I'm in one of my best blouses. Yeah.

Okay, I'll have you all know, I'm in one of my best blouses. I love it. And we go sit down and this decrepit goblin of a woman is sitting next to me wearing the same blouse, just the nicer version. And I turn to her and I say, I love your blouse. And do you know what she does?

Not a goddamn thing. She completely cold shoulders you? Can you believe that? Doesn't even look at you? No, she did this. She goes like this. She completely cold shoulders you? Can you believe that? Doesn't even look at you? No, she did this. She goes like this, she goes, thank you. And then Nick turns to me and goes, dumb cunt. I go, fuck this.

The nice thing to do is acknowledge, oh, I like your blouse as well. Doesn't say it. I don't care mine's from ASOS. Sure, sure, sure. It's the same fucking blouse. She was wearing $3,000 worth of jewelry on her neck and looked at you like, what is this?

Doesn't matter. And guess what? I looked better in it. Yeah, there you go. The Dean is phenomenal. So if you want to look for her. Well, that old rich lady could probably smell rayon. You know what I mean?

It was like, she can tell. She got her ass just sitting near you, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but you're right, that is our courtside. Like, you know, having, when you become friends with people in New York You're like, you know, then you have access to things that are like, you know, yeah

Well, we were courtside at a fashion show. Oh, that's right. We were what did you go? So we we were in Jason Wu who styled me for my special which was an amazing experience He had us he had us front row at his that's all fashion show for fashion week And we you know, he dressed us up row at his fashion show for fashion week and he dressed us up and that was amazing. And he dressed me because when he met Nick, they're like, the photographer's like, do you wanna take photos with Jason?

I'm like, sure. And Jason goes, who are you? You're too tall, I didn't dress you. Yeah. Yeah. Too tall, I feel like they'd be licking their lips to get a tall, a statue-esque beauty. Well it's because I'm skinny, but I am too tall I would feel I feel like they'd be licking their lips to get a tall cuz I'm a statue as I duty tall Come on

He's six four, but it was it was a surreal experience cuz we both lived in my many years hold on I'm gonna I'm gonna go to bat for you here Nick isn't that model dimensions tall and skinny as shit Yes, but not this tall guy wants you around like five eleven six feet six feet. Cause they want everyone the same height. So I'm six, three. So they can't have just some fucking Frankenstein. Interesting, interesting, interesting. We never go out, but one time our friend Patty's like, we're going to a club, it's my birthday, we're going. So we went, he dressed like Maggie Smith.

I dressed like a deli worker. And we're on like the dance floor. And everyone's head is around here, Nick's up there. And then some guy tall, the Nick walks by, see Nick do that, he go, Nick, what's up? He go, who the fuck like Frankenstein here, Nick's up there, and then some guy tall, then Nick walks by, see Nick do that, he go, Nick, what's up? He go, who the fuck left Frankenstein in here? It's alarming. When you're used to looking down at people,

and then physically looking down at people. Thank you. And then someone else walks in that you have to look up at, it's alarming. I don't like it. Is there a kinship of everyone being above the heads? Maybe amongst them, not for me. Eldest, have you ever, did you ever? are you are taller you I'm like six five Wow

six four yesterday you're peacocking I was six for a fashionable gay friend true I've been on the record on past episodes saying I'm six six I'm not even on the record on past episodes saying I'm 6'6". You said 6'3". I'm really down. I'm right in the center right now. You're 6'4.5". No, no, I'm 6'5". Do you see the same tall guys in similar places?

When you worked at a shitty office or if you took the same train constantly or some shit like that, would you see other tall guys above the fray? Yeah. Really? Like would you acknowledge each other for your height? Like you see the struggle? For what it freaks you out? Not eye contact.

I've talked about it before where like, I don't really notice it because most of the time, most people are like so much shorter than you. Right. Like you never notice that you're looking down. But then I've talked about when we hang out with like JP McDade, who's like an inch taller than me. No, JP, he's really tall. And then I do get like a little tribal.

I'm like, I don't like this feeling. I'm having to look up like five degrees to like see up in this. It feels weird. And I see how it like feels weird for everyone else. But it's just something that like I'm never used to doing in my conversation. Meanwhile, me and Stavi, these Mediterranean. Well, we've reached the height of our people. I've also spoke about this where I hilariously think I'm so much taller than I am.

How tall are you? I'm 5'7". 5'9". That sounds a good height. In my... Thank you so much, Nick. In my head, Elvis is literally three inches taller than me. Like in my head, and then I have a friend who's six foot, and this guy is the most even-keeled

guy of all time, but I just said, I said pretty much fuck with him. I was like, we're pretty much the same. It's the joke I do on my special. He's literally the most mild mannered guy. I was like, yeah, dude, we're pretty much the same height. He got so pissed off because I was like, yeah, I just see us as similar heights. And he was like, I tower over you. He was like, I know exactly what the fucking top of your head looks like.

How dare you say I'm the fucking same. I will say, you know who I met the other night was, do you know QCP? He's the shirtless guy in the apron who cooks. He's real bro. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did this event for the pasta queen and him. Have I? I've seen his videos. No, Nick was, Nick knows nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, he was really, really, really nice. And when he met me, I think people think I'm really short because when I met him, he said right off the bat, he goes, you're taller than I thought you would be. Really? And I was like, really? He goes, yeah, you just like read really short. Then I realized I'm next to this monster. And so everyone thinks I'm two feet tall.

Interesting. But you are short. I'm five nine. That's the average height of a man. No, it's not. What's the average height of a man? It's probably- Yeah, according to who? According to not you, Nick. Yeah, I would say it's probably 5'7".

I would say 5'11". 5'9", from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention. That's America, right? Or is that worldwide? Okay, that study was run by short men. Oh, hold on. Worldwide, 5.75. Okay, well, we're...

Which is probably what I am, honestly. Well, that makes sense. Right? Yeah, I'm right. You're more worldly. I am more worldly. I'm an international average. You're the global average what I am. Well, that makes sense, right? Yeah, right worldly. I am more worldly I'm an international the global I'm the amalgam of every man on earth if you get me

Would I be tall in Greece do they have tall for sure for sure you'd be tall? Yeah, yeah, we don't got a we don't got him that tall. Well also Nick you would be tall But also they wouldn't look at you for your height. They'd be wondering why is that man wearing a giant sun hat? He keeps saying he's like I'll come to Italy I'll have a good time I will I just can't imagine what the Italians will because it'll be very similar to the Greeks like what is this thing? Well, you wear sun hats there. Don't they? Uh, I don't not really know. What? What do they do? They take in the sun.

Yeah, take in the sun, maybe a cap. I've seen we're not talking. I'm guessing they were talking. We're not talking like a, you know, straw, crocodile, done. Do you style hat? I'm guessing it's Kentucky Derby, Eris at a Kentucky Derby. Type in my fair lady race horse scene.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Before we see this picture, but this is even more dramatic. This is what Nick looks like. This is Nick walking around Italy is gonna be fucking there. Awesome. That's awesome.

That's great. So this is Nick for everybody at home. That's fucking sick. I could wear that in Greece. What would the Greeks, how do you say faggot in Greece? You know, we don't have to say that. We said it! Say it! Say it!

I guess, do you bleep out in other languages, but it's a boosty boosty Moon is is pussy in Greek Mooney Mooney I got be Mooney Um, uh, I got be Muni. I got bow. I got bow Muni. I didn't know how to do the congregation. That's okay. Look at me.

Greek. Yep. I got to bring my friend Sophia on this show on time. She's from Chicago. So Greek and her mother, you would find they were just, it was being immersed into the Greek world with that family. They were amazing. I love her mother, Daphne.

I told you what you would say during the coffee right oh they would read your read my fortune and she'd be like I can see a letter in the bottom of your cup this me and then she would read her daughter's she goes this is it you're a bitch I do love how much like old witchcraft shit is left in so many cultures Sicily yeah yeah Mexico yeah yeah yeah even the evil eye. New Milford. New Milford, a lot of witchy stuff going on over there. How else do you think my dad's the mayor? A lot of witchcraft. That's so fucking funny. And so, what is the, after you get out of New Milford and you're here, you're bouncing around, you come to school

for opera, what are the early years? What's early NYC for Nick looking like? I mean, I was in college for six years here, so I always say when you come to New York as a college student, it's a much different experience than just moving here already as a young adult. Sure, sure, sure. So it was a much easier transition.

And then- Were you a nerd? Were you just studying? Were you like mean? Were you out and about? I've always just sort of been mean. I've never been out and about. I've never been one of those girlies. Not a gal about town. I'm not a gal about town. We prefer to be home bodies. Playing Fortnite watching YouTube. Yeah, we're really boring. I've never drank in my life. So I oh never never no drugs No drugs Wow a complete teetotaler. Yeah, I'm a fucking loser teetotaler. I never heard that. Yeah, that means sober That means loser. Yeah

Yeah No, it's okay. I'm teetotaling right now. I got a year of sobriety. We're good for you Yeah, I'm doing my 30th 50th year life. Totally sober. Wow. How's it feel? Not good. I'm fucking miss doing drugs Like I'm not it just I have to remind myself I would feel worse. That's thing. I don't feel good I just would feel worse for that moment and then the next day is a struggle and it's always you're always trying to catch Place that struggle and it's always, you're always trying to catch up. Have you found something to replace that? Not really, I was living pretty healthy

for like half the year I was like, I wasn't working and I was like working out and eating the right and I really liked that but unfortunately I go right to food, I'm trying to stay healthy so like when I get more stressed, which I've been a little stressed the last, last month has been pretty busy, I go right to, you know, stupid, stupid, seamless orders or whatever.

What's your go to comfort meal? Who there's the thing? Well, I have I have to have dessert at night like a baby needs. It's binky right now. I do, too, by the way. I don't have a pint of and I'm eating Halo top these days. No, no, no. That's all air. Are you kidding? I had a dessert. Either that or fucking 4000 calories of, and now I'm meeting Halo Top these days. So I don't know, that's all air. Are you kidding? That's not a dessert.

It's either that or fucking 4,000 calories of Ben & Jerry. Yeah, I know. I can't do that right now, Nick. Believe me, I need to be on methadone. I need to be on ice cream methadone right now. That's what Halo Top is. But it's more the ritual of that. But you know, it just, something will hit.

I go through a little, I go through a rotation of comfort meals. You know what I mean? It'll be a Chinese fried chicken wings with beef lo mein is a go to. I love Korean food if I'm really, in fact I haven't been eating Korean food because the last few years we've been doing Korean barbecue Thanksgiving and so I really, it's in a couple weeks, I'm going to really enjoy it because I haven't had it But you know it's just really

Though the median the absolute median meal is when I eat a lot of Chipotle is what I'm trying to hang on He eats it every day. Yeah, well, I eat it every day. It's good. It's That's exactly what it is. It's the absolute food group median replacement meal It's a good amount and you can do it healthy or you get chips. You get what I mean. Like, so I'm there a lot right now. In fact, Chipotle for lunch. Chipotle after this podcast.

Interesting. Very interesting. Duncan in the morning. It depends. I I've been I've been shooting on we're shooting tires the second season of tires right now, and there's a Duncan right by where we film,

so I have been getting a lot of, we're living very similar lives right now. We're the same. Yeah, we're pretty much the same guys. We're the same. I think two people would look at us. Just a couple of Greek faggies on their Duncan and Chipotle. Couple of Greek homos sucking on Duncan.

Yep. People would probably think we're brothers. Yeah. Or at least twins. Yeah. No. That'd be a fun reboot of twins. It's just a tall gay guy instead of Arnold.

Still the fat little, still the over the top fat weirdo. There you go. Anybody watching cast us will do it. I don't know that Nick carries the same charisma as the 90s Arnold Schwarzenegger. You don't think he's got the same star power? I don't know that he made an area that went from Mr. Olympia. I don't think Arnold broke Lizzo's silence.

Arnold didn't break. That's your claim to fame is you broke Lizzo's silence. That takes some charisma, baby. You definitely did bait Lizzo into something. I love that. I still never seen twins great movie Is it I do love Danny DeVito? It's so good. It's just so 90s that I love about it I legitimately do want to I have a couple I I really want to pitch remaking it I want I could do it. Yeah, like it's gotta be it's gotta be a tall jackpot. Yeah, it's gotta be me. Yeah

It's gotta be a tall jackpot unfortunately. It's gotta be me. Yeah, yeah. We've talked about it already. Do not. I'd kill. I would love to, cause if you watch it, cause I hadn't seen it,

I saw it as a kid and then I rewatched it and I really would do a good job with that character. It's a, he's a complete dirt bag piece of shit. He's got like the little ponytail. He's like, again, he's just, yeah, it's great. I would love to play that I just rewatched it I mean the veto and that literally is stuff crazy like I can't unsee it or something on some level I'm like did that penetrate my

brain as a boy and I formed my entire personality off of it because I used to watch that movie a lot I used to watch I had a phase when I was a little kid where I watched twins and What's the what what's the one where Arnold's pregnant and the vetoes in it? Oh What was that call not baby Singer twins and then what the type in all he's a lot of Rocky Road. Pregnant. Junior. Junior. Yes. Yeah, Junior.

I used to watch those two movies back, and I think on some, I think when I was a dumb little kid, I thought they were the same movie. But I just watched them a bunch. Oh, do you know what? They kind of are the same movie. Junior's way weirder.

Junior's way weirder. Look at this, the 90s. Oh my God. The 90s were such a particular time in movies, weren't they? Well, the idea for twins is that they yeah I mean they they made some bangers but the idea for twins is that like essentially they mixed up a bunch of guys jizz and made the perfect kid and it was Arnold Schwarzenegger and then the runoff was Danny DeVito like all the shitty stuff they didn't use was right there

yeah the ending is so fucking weird. Yeah, it's a bizarre movie. Go watch, we don't want, not to spoil too, go watch it, we'll talk about it. I've seen it but I don't remember, it's been so long. I don't remember like... But yeah, he looks, I legit am gonna try and remake fucking twins. 39% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, I mean I haven't rewatched Junior, I'll tell you that much. I mean Arnold was just taking every check possible. I mean when he haven't I haven't rewatched Junior. I'll tell you that much. I mean, Arnold was just taking every check possible.

I mean, when he was Mr. Freeze, that was that was all good. But with Uma Thurman, well, she was amazing. She now that might be the gayest movie ever made. It is. It is. It's incredible. It's a great rewatch. Now, I think I do watch Red Letter Media ever. The podcast Red Letter Media, they're on YouTube.

They're great. These three guys are from Milwaukee and they just go, they just talk about movies. I love that, big Milwaukee fan over here. And they've got great, great sense of humor, they're very funny. Anyway, they were talking about that movie and they made a great point. They were like, Uma Thurman was the only one

who understood the assignment in this movie. Everybody else was, there was no reason, like George Clooney and Arnold Schwartz, none of them knew what they were doing, but Uma got it. Uma really knew what they were doing, but Uma got it. Uma really knew what she was doing. I still think it works, even though they didn't know what they were doing,

because Clooney isn't hamming it up, but that earnestness is almost good for the movie, like Batman kind of being, he feels, there was too much happening. First of all, Alfred was dying. That was one of the stories then there's five story like Alicia Silverstone is shrewhorned in there in there then Robin didn't want to be he wanted his own independence with that but he also kind of wants to fuck Alicia Silverstone then Uma Thurman was there then there

was mr. freeze trying to get his wife back. Bane is involved. There was a lot. Well, Jay, I can't read it. It looks great. It looks, yeah, I mean, that guy might, that guy's, what did he say? He, I was like. Joel Schumacher? Joel Schumacher? Yeah, Schumacher fucked like thousands of guys, he said.

He fucked thousands of guys? I think so, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the movie, like career-wise or in real life? No, no, no, no, no, no no like he was just a cool guy that like to suck Suck and get sucked Wow well that makes sense because the beginning of that movie is them putting on their outfits that have nipples on The outfit and then it's just butts no it's the opening of the film Now like at the time it was and when I was a little when I was a little kid I was pumped to see it. I didn't give him sure I would love well. I loved poison. I loved poison eyes

Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I was all about poison. I do. But but now it is a great watch to just throw on to have a good time because it's visually so interesting and it's just it is straight up camp. It's camp. But all of those Batman films that are like with Danny Devito is Penguin and that was different because I first cat woman. Yeah, the first Batman in the in the 80s. And it was revolutionary in so many ways. And then they had the second Batman, which was still good. Still to good. But it was totally I think it shocked audiences

because they were kind of expecting something more for kids. And it was very adult. It was dark. It's scary. By the way, Batman's not even it's kind of more. It's an ensemble movie. Sure. Because it really is more about I mean I don't think Batman's even in it because I rewatched this recently He's not in really in it like he's in at the very beginning, but then he's not in it again for like 20 minutes It's kind of crazy. We've had enough of Batman. Well at the time though. It was the second Batman movie

Yes, so it was like the third one. I think they were trying to go again. They were trying to reverse it So became well they fired Tim Burton right he was like Weirdly, you know who he wanted to cast as Robin who Marlon Wayans? That would be at the time it would have been really interesting But yes, they they wanted to like exactly what you're saying the studio was like alright We're gonna make this a fucking cash cow enough with your weird dark bullshit And then they fired him and they that was the one that I think that was the first Schumacher one Right and that was two-faced and the Riddler so I had Jim Carrey

Yeah, and then it got too far with Batman and Rob even as like a young seventh grade a kid I was like, this is a lot. Oh, yeah, you didn appreciate it. I loved the Poison Ivy scenes. I loved them. Yeah, yeah. No, I just remember being like, whatever you showed me. That was the age where I was like, cool, this is a movie? Awesome. Right. I was never making a judgment,

especially if it had Batman in it. I was like, sick, let's fucking watch it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, why don't we, I think we could talk forever forever and I still, there's so much more. We didn't really even get into the whole Nick origin story some other time, but Because it's similar to a Batman villain origin story.

Can I ask a really quick dumb question? Absolutely. I don't know why this just popped up. Do Greek people celebrate Christmas? We do. We do in fact celebrate Christmas. They're Eastern Greek Orthodox. He doesn't know what Greek Orthodox means

It's a sect of Christianity before it split off It was what Catholicism split off from supposed to be kind of right? We were all the same church and then we split off were the Eastern Orthodox Church We used to have a different calendar Now everyone's on the same calendar. Yeah, it's kind of it's very confusing Greek people treat So what is today for them? They've adopted everything the same they used to be on I don't know what if that's called the Gregorian calendar But weirdly culturally Greek people used to celebrate what we think of as Christmas on New Year's Day

Like you would get crisp presents and stuff on New Year's Day But I think they just got beaten down by the rest of the world doing it and Especially American pop culture like when I was a little kid my dad when we were really young he tried to do that shit He's like, uh, we're Greek. We do the first of the year. We were like And so there was no way that was gonna last. He tried that and we were like, fuck, are you kidding me? I have to fucking wait six days. Are you out of your fucking mind?

Give me my fucking play dough right now, you fucking idiot. So I think it's been completely swallowed up, but yes, Greeks are- That wasn't a dumb question. Yeah, thank- Do they celebrate Christmas as different than do you have a different calendar? He knew what I look I can fuck we can make it good, but hey, I'm a professional you feed me some dumb bullshit

Like do Greek celebrate Christmas? I'll turn it into two minutes of entertaining content. Okay Near you when you throw up there were, but you never met Greek people. In New Milford, probably not. Were there Italians? There was one Italian, you said there was one Italian family that everyone hated. But now my family, my extended family owns the Italian restaurant.

Wow. That sells burgers. Yeah. Well, it's Italian American. You gotta go have the pasta there. You should do an episode. You should do an episode. You should do an episode of eating the best Italian food at Nick's hometown. That would be awesome.

You trying to cobble together the best pasta meal you could in fucking New Milford. Can I go in the kitchen and show them how to actually make it? I mean, I'm sure you can play pretty fast. If your dad's the mayor, we have carte blanche. We can do whatever the hell we want. Please, we don't even have a police department there. You can do, light the shit on fire.

All right, well listen. You worked at a pizza hut, it was a whole thing. I love it. Well look, take all these life experiences and channel them into, because we have callers that desperately need your assistance. Oh boy, are these specifically for us?

No, no, no, no. We don't have that kind of, we don't kind of have that overhead. These people have called in some, even at this point, years ago. And we'll get to them whenever the fuck we get to them. Of course. When you want to bet on sports, played on a field or ice or courts, Bet Rivers is the place.

Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet River Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. So, Elvis has gotten a couple questions here for us

And why you play us the first one my friend? a thought so two years ago restart I got dumped by my a thought so two years ago I got dumped by my girlfriend because She found me on Grindr talking to boys. She kind of had a point there.

And I was going to break up with her, but I was too much of a pussy to do that, so instead I was cheating and sending nudes to other guys but um moving on from that um two years later um I can't stop I can't I can't finish like with a woman or a guy or a trans woman or like anybody unless I think about my ex-girlfriend what and I'm tired of it But this woman stabs me Think about her anymore Like I have a no-contact agreement with her even though I'm the one that cheated so Interesting morality here. Yeah, should I tell my therapist about this? What?

Oh my God. Should I just, like, try to associate it with thoughts of, like, my naked grandma or something? What? Thanks, Thav. I'd really appreciate your help in figuring out how to stop needing to, like, think about her to finish. Thanks. Love you guys.

Well, that's a lot to unpack. A really a lot to finish. Thanks. Love you guys. I mean, a lot to unpack. Oh, really a lot to unpack from each sentence from the from the job. Did she find him on Grindr? She probably had some suspicions. Why did he not bring up that she stabbed him first? Right. That came in the middle. Right. Right. Why would you be like, well, I was stabbed by my ex-girlfriend because she found me on Grindr we have a no wonder agreement I wonder if the

stabbing is its own issue in his mind he is having and then he's the least of his issues no contact agreement just a fancy way of saying she has a restraining order again I think I think it's sort of like that's the thing he says no contact agreement as if this is some widely accepted circumstance. He just means they they don't text each other ever. Right. And then the cherry on top. Should I say this to a therapist? I know that was awesome.

You should have been in therapy years ago. Yeah. Well, I get the therapist being like, we got a lot to cover because this guy, I mean, that's the thing. I'm just going to go to starve with this one. I can't believe that he just gonna go to starve with this Privately with his therapist I think starving yes, get unpacked at seven to ten minutes. Yeah Real power yeah, you're very honorable of it out well I also think probably what's going on here this guy's too embarrassed to admit that This a bust related thing to his therapist you know what I mean

Well, that's like who you talked to your therapist for right? I mean I thought that was like what I think you talk generally But I think in terms of the the minutia of coming It's like it's one thing to talk about sexual hangups is another thing to be like what makes me come is my act But you could he could have said it differently where he's like Yeah, I only I can only the fuck somebody call me. I guess it's because like I have a gay therapist Oh interesting, so I don't I feel more comfortable talking about that kind of stuff No, that's not like an issue not like talk about anything to your therapist. Yes the whole point the whole point No, you're absolutely right. And that is something that that's a general Message for everyone here to take is you got if you have a therapist

It doesn't make sense not to fucking talk to them about whatever you got to open up to them about anything Obviously you should talk to your therapist. I mean that's so clear I won't hazard I think I think even though there's a lot to unpack I think ultimately what was what was happening here is this guy was in a this is a truly pansexual this guy was in a, this is a truly pansexual person, who was in a probably abusive relationship, and he definitely cheated, right? But maybe there was just a lot of wrong going on in that relationship. This is probably an insane woman, probably pretty good pussy if I had to guess. If I had stabbing plus staying in the relationship.

Yeah, I do. Unfortunately, this kind of grinder. Yeah. I don't think I don't think it was so bad. I think this guy just fucks a lot. But I think stabbing and staying in a relationship. Clearly, it was in a it was a not great relationship. The relation was good, but something was good. So I'm doing the math here. Right. I think he sounds like a not great relationship. The relationship was good, but something was good. So I'm doing the math here. I think he sounds like a masochist.

I think he likes sort of that. Yeah, well that's what I'm saying. So he needs to get to BDSM. Maybe. Stabbing is kind of real up there. He can't come without thinking about his ex-girlfriend who stabbed him. Baby, go get a dominatrix and sp I'll spank the shit out of you. To me, it feels like residual guilt

that he's not processed yet, and he's trying to mask it with a physical pleasure. But I think what's happening is that he probably feels guilt or some kind of shame for the failure of that relationship and his play in it. And so the revisitation of seeing her in order to come is more so him trying to cope subconsciously with the fact that he left something Didn't land the plane. Well, do you see what I'm saying? I mean, yeah, I think that's that's absolutely

Totally plausible that he still has some kind of hang-ups. We don't even know it seems like he's Pretty open about his sexuality. There might be some some pretty open about his sexuality. There might be some guilt there too. He seems like, he seems open to us. But yeah, that's what I'm saying. He can be, if he's talking to you, I mean his voice is pretty recognizable. I feel like, it's like, come on dude.

Well I'm just thinking, I'm just kind of agreeing with you here where it could be like, some shame and guilt all wrapped in together, right? Like guilt from the relationship, shame. I mean, there is like the like, oh no, even though I'm fucking this guy, I'm actually straight because the thing that makes me come is my- Is he ancient Greek?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also he says he can't come with another person, but is he coming from Jerk and the Chicken? Probably. Jerk and the Chicken, what in the Dust Bowl era? I'm not gonna say masturbate on him. Probably jerking the chicken what in the Dust Bowl era That is a good yeah is he yoking the oxen Yeah, I'd be probably is I feel like you could bust easier, you, jerking yourself off than you can. He's probably stroking his hard dick,

since that's what Matteo wants me to say, while thinking about his ex-girlfriend's bomb pussy, apparently. It's very possible, Nick. So yeah, I mean, look, there's a lot going on here. You absolutely have to talk to a therapist. We've hazarded some guesses here, but you got a lot going on, my friend.

And I also think like two years later is kind of crazy. Two years is a long time. But if depending on how long you were together, shit like that lingers too, especially if you're not addressing the reason. So it's not crazy the stab wounds Yeah, exactly if you still feel it if yeah, yeah, he comes he rubs out Who is very possible so yeah, good luck out there a little buddy

What do we got here eldest Hey stars, Eldis and esteemed guests. I'm a newer listener, but I'm just calling in. I called you before, but the voicemail felt too long and wordy. But anyways, I'm calling in because my boyfriend and I, we've been together for a year. I am 23, my boyfriend is 25 25 and we've had some conversations and realized that we are both interested in the possibility of a threesome with another person now this was just a free time I'm just did and like a polycule or

like dating this person whoever this theoretical person would be we just want to have fun and then sort of you you know, go our separate ways with this other person go on and live our lives. I got a hunch you could get that going. So I've never had a threesome of any kind before. Maybe the guest if they are a queer man or just a queer person doesn't really matter the gender. I'll just do a little producing for a change.

I'll just try to be appreciative of how we can best accommodate the person. That's a little vetting. Because I feel like the dynamics of a threesome, especially if it's somewhere, it's like a couple and then like another person is a very specific thing versus a bit of threesome with three strangers or three people who may not know each other that well and just wanna have fun.

Oh my God, the other one was funny. And you feel like the onus is on, if that's the right word, is on the couple to make the third person feel comfortable know, feel comfortable, feel invited. There's no more to this, how do we get them gist? Make them feel safe. There's also like a power dynamic. I think that is there. Here's what you do. You want to make your guests feel comfortable. Martha Stewart has a hundred books out now. So you could find one of her books. Get some lemonade with thyme in it.

Yeah, and learn how to like yes, and like make a dinner and those good salad recipes. You're going to fuck this guy. He's like, how do I make someone comfortable in a threesome? You don't need to have a whole fucking dinner party. Have you had a threesome? I have. Yeah. Have you? Yes. Same. Yeah. And was it good? It was, yeah. Have you? Yes. Same. Yeah. And was it good? It was pretty good.

I mean, one was horrific. You can hear it all on Live at the Lodge Room. It's the final 15 minutes of my first special on YouTube, folks. That one was bad, but I've had some nice experiences. Was the threesome you had good? It was years ago, but yes it was, because he was a plastic surgeon,

so afterwards he would give me filler and Botox. Okay. I would always leave with a new face. It was years ago, but yes it was, because he was a plastic surgeon, so afterwards he would give me filler and Botox. I would always leave with a new face, it was fantastic. They moved, but this was years ago, but they were great. But what I would say, that's such a gay thing. I had a new nose one time, new chin, every time I came out I had a new face. It's such a gay thing, gays barter sex for goods. Yeah, the oldest profession.

I think we have to move past the stereotypes that gay men are transactional. Look, this is a couple. They're very sensitive. So what I was going to say is chances are it might suck. Yeah, that's true. Hit or miss. That's absolutely true. So I've had a good one, but most were weird. And then oftentimes it's always going to feel awkward because there's one person left out and it's never really especially in the gay world. I've had a horrific one actually. You can't have, you don't got two holes. You do. Well, you do.

It's coming from the top. You know what I mean? Sometimes there's always someone left out. So chances are, it might be bad, it might be good. So you need to go in with that mindset being like, this might not be great. And it sounds like you need to go in fully being on the same page, because if you're already talking about threesomes, which is fine, who brought it up?

And chances are, do they actually really wanna be open or are they only wanting a threesome? Because it can lead to more. You don't wanna open that door if one of them's waiting to open the door to be like, okay, now let's be open. And that sounds like that's what we're seeing here is that I think maybe, you know,

it's either tiptoeing their way into something that they both wanna experience, but they're worried about the preservation of their relationship, which happens, you know what I mean? That can happen. And they're young, 23 and 25. That's kind of what I was gonna say from our caller here.

It seems like what he's most worried about is the third person. Yeah. Whether that's young. So he's the bottom. Yeah. He has feelings. Whether that's young hubris or not,

he's not so worried about his relationship, right? So like, and you said you were the third in it with a couple. I was the third, which is always the easy. It's always the easier. You show up, they put on a show, you get Botox, you go home. Yeah, it's easier.

So don't even, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you shouldn't actually worry about the third person. You should worry about your partner. The third person has it easy. They show up to your home, they do the deed, they pull the page, and then they're out of there. As long as you have rules and sort of understandings beforehand.

Yeah, and I'd also say like, yeah, they're young. It's something, unfortunately, not only can it be bad, but it's also, this is something that it's just going to take some trial and error. The actual threesome might be, you know, might be hit or miss. It also could have some negative repercussions. Not that you can't get over them and fix them, but it's like, you just got to be, you got to know what you're signing up for. You're opening the door to possibilities.

Yes. All kinds. You're, you're, you are just barely opening Pandora's box up, but you're opening it up. Well, it can also be a positive thing, because when you open it up with a third person, you realize there's other things you sexually like, and things you hadn't experimented with before, and it can kind of open up, you know. And you enjoy sharing that experience with someone you love. You're also 23 and 25. Do it. Just do it.

Have the experience. Yeah, I know. So how do they... Until they're 35, it's going to be a very different message. Yeah. Be safe. It's recent this morning. Look, I want to know about, you know, it's very blase.

It's that meme of Miss Mamshi. She is a drag queen in Brooklyn and she does these like online videos and it's a point of view video where her husband gets home from work she makes some spaghetti she sits down and the scene cuts to them at this really long dining table and he's eating the spaghetti and it cuts up to her and she goes so what did you mean that you wanted to be open yeah i mean look I think our friend here is good to go Just give it a whirl you're young you're on the same page with your partner Which is important and just be be prepared for a range of?

You know of outcomes Did he was he asking about how to find a person or no? Person you know understand what the dynamics also feels comfortable in a good time you just want a general tips on how to set it all up get it go I was finding a third in the gay world yeah I love it what a beautiful culture walk down house kitchen and throw a stone Walk down Hell's Kitchen and throw a stone. We've hit about 82 days that'll have a threesome. on your face bet on the sports you love with bet river sportsbook take a chance must be 19 plus available in ontario only please play responsibly if you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact connects ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an

advisor for your charge what else we got here little eldest hey scabby eldest another diva from the show i'm a 25 year old woman is in kind of a funny situation I met this guy on Bumble and it's for best is really fucking rich Parents don't like private hospitals in Texas. No, it's cause one Ten private hospitals is his wealth comes from something that shouldn't exist Uncomfortable now well, these like proctoring. Like, it's like something else. There's no, I mean, I mean, I guess it's true. There's no one that rich is for anything good. Private hospitals. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, who did they vote for?

I think we, I think we know. I think we have a hunch we have a hunch hospitals in Texas is a trust fund He's doing a PhD in finance in Australia where I live And working for hedge funds like the epitome of late-stage capitalism I think you're some sort of pay-pig fetish because I have a damn or anything Been really mean to him And I'm like, okay, okay. I like this. Anyways, my issue with him is that he's been kind of periodically ghosting me every so often because he's been taken advantage of, which is fair because that's totally what I'm doing.

So I was just wondering, do you think what I'm doing is morally corrupt? And if your answer to that question is no, how do I keep him from sending me money and kind of reignite his interest and prove to him that I'm worth it even though I'm totally not? Anyways, love you guys, love me no. Sweetie, you're the girl in this relationship, so you got it in the bag.

Yeah. Just gotta. Well she said she hasn't fucked him or anything or. But if she hasn't fucked him and he's still yeah reaching out I mean, she's got the golden ticket. Yeah. Yeah, I've got a golden ticket I mean if to keep a pay pig on the on the hook is what she's asking. How do you do it? I this is a hard one because I don't have this at all How do you do it? Um, this is a hard one, because I don't have this at all.

Find out what his interests are and play into them. Mm-hmm. Nick, you are such a gaslighting manipulative. Shh, that's what she wants! She wants an answer! I don't have anything on this. This seems weird and uncomfortable. Oh, boo!

I don't have anything. Matteo's against the working class. Yeah. He wants this fucking... He wants this fucking finance, bro I forbid women have hobbies Girl have her father in Australia. She doesn't have a lot of wins. Yeah, I agree Look, I think the thing is you just got a because it's not a it seems like she just met him on bumble, right?

They're like not even really dating or they're they've been out a couple times which she said the very beginning scroll up She met him on bumble. It doesn't seem like they're a bumble. Yeah, they haven't even fucked Yeah, I mean, you know peeling her off some cash just I would say I would say exactly I would say the middle ground here is like look don't overdo it The golden goose is gonna run dry at some point Yeah, don't don't overdo it don't try and like whatever like this guy wants to give you some cash And you're not that interested in your you know just texting him a little bit or like a selfie or two does it? Whatever keep it going

He's a piece of shit, but you have to think like a guy that rich eventually is gonna be like this is fun But you know I'm ready to get some pussy He'll ghost her and do it with another girl exactly exactly and and that's what you have to be prepared for It's not worth becoming a super villain to try and take his trust fund, but you know With a queer couple yeah, yeah to try and take his trust fund, but you know, he gets some shoes out of it. With a queer couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Set him up with two guys. Maybe that's just don't come off desperate.

Just look, he's going to send the money. He's clearly got it. Yeah. Show some interest here and there. Collect the goods. Or eventually. Or try a harder turn of pure paypiggery of calling him a piece of shit and like, you know, you know, you little spoiled boy, give me send me a hundred dollars now and then you know I mean why not it could work those girls I don't know how they do it but there are guys that respond to shit like that true I'm a catch more flies with honey kind of guy personally I prefer not to be treated badly I love to be treated very nicely by hot women personally.

That's sort of my kink is when a hot woman is really nice to me. I'm a kinky guy. All right. Well, salute to you. Get the bag down on that. Hey, Stavi. How's it going? Thanks. down on that. Hey, thanks for all you do man. Hey, I got a conundrum here. I'm hoping you boys can help me out and you too, guess. So just for some context, I've been married with

my wife for 11 years, been together for a while. I'm 33, she's 34. And when we first started dating, we're out partying together and fucking drinking and smoking and shit. You know, all the cool shit that we used to do. But as she's gotten older, she's gotten fucking dumb, right? I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a great cook.

Amazing mom, throws it back you know all that good stuff nice city nice nice but she but she's fucking dumb where she is into Flat Earth and which whatever right like right? Like, a lot of people believe a lot of different things, right? Hold up, pause right there. No, we're not gonna gloss over flat earthers as if this is just like... No, no, no, that won me back. Yeah, I was gonna say fucking dumb.

Come on, dude, relax. It's your wife. You're talking about the mother of your children like this. Right, everyone knows the earth is a hexagon. Yeah. Okay, everyone knows that. That's tough, but let's finish it and then we'll flat earth and you know all the usual conspiracy theories which whatever right like a lot of people a lot of people believe a lot of different things right yeah but my

problem is that we now have a ten-year-old and She's rubbing off some of these conspiracy theories on him And so, you know, I just kind of want to get some thoughts on how I can have the conversation that hey It's alright if you're a dumbass, but maybe we should give our kids a chance to knock his dumbass Anyway know the podcast love what you do, and hopefully we'll hear this on a free podcast. All right, thanks, bye. Oh man, this is tough.

I don't even know where. This is really tough, actually. He did win me back after he said the flatter thing, because originally when he was like, she's gotten fucking done with kids. Look, I don't have kids, but I know a lot of moms and they spend a lot of time talking to these kids. So they, when you don't talk to adults anymore,

you basically convert to their wavelength. But then when he was like, they're flat earth, I'm like, what is your children teaching you? Yeah, yeah, I don't think there's a bluey episode about flat earthism. I agree with you. I think this is a really difficult one because, and this is by the way a problem with getting married to somebody you meet when you're 20. It's like you don't know how stupid they actually are.

You gotta wait at least. They're never the fucking idiot when you're 20. Yeah, and you're meeting, you know, whatever. And they probably were high in their 20s, and she probably was like, my God, the earth is flat. And he was like, she's so crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. He wasn their 20s and she probably was like my god the earth is flat He was like she's so crazy Totally wasn't even listening what she was saying trying to fuck her

This is a real big this is tough because I mean, I I don't want to sound the alarm bells here, but It's like this is a fundamental issue because flat earthers usually are not really won over by logic and reason. Yeah. Absolutely not. So there's no. There's something deep, deep and dark happening if you're a flat earther. Like there's something deeply idiotic about the entire thing. It's also when do you have to,

because when you said it's so Trunik where like mom, and the moms I know too are like this too, they're so busy, you picked up flat earthing. Right. In the middle of like raising kids and shit Like that's crazy that like if you like your head and then ass eating in your The earth is flat pull up that iPad. I got some fucking interesting videos to watch while I breastfeed This is something that like usually happens to people when they're empty nesters

And they just have they fill the void with like QAnon shit Yeah, they've never seen YouTube before so they think everything on YouTube is just yeah. Yeah, so she's dumb on many levels Look, I don't necessarily know if he can say hey I know you're a dumbass but don't let our kids be a dumbass with you because she's their mom She's allowed to talk to them how she wants. She also believes this She also believes it. And like you said, flat earthers don't believe in logic. That's the hard part.

I think he needs to counteract it. And when he's with the kids, show them things and talk about it. The earth is really round. But this is the problem is that when you're parenting, the parents are supposed to be a unified. Right in front. That's right. Because otherwise the kid knows how to start uh, right in front. That's right. Because, you know,

because otherwise the kid knows how to start manipulating, go to mom, no, they have mom and dad have to have the same opinion. We raise the same, because otherwise it can really confuse the child. And then the child sees you two fighting and it sets up an uncomfortable environment where the kid isn't able to trust either one of his parents because he sees them fighting vying for that child's attention and approval. So it sets up an unhealthy home off the bat. Well, as parents, it's your responsibility to, as you said, be a unified front for your child to give them the easiest streamlined childhood so that it's not

confusing in the house. Well, that's out the window, but his mom believes in the flat earth. So we can just kind of at this point, we're just trying to salvage the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The house is burned down, get a divorce. Unified fronts I think are to an extent. You can be a unified front and being like don't bully kids. But there are couples who are like the wife is Jewish and the husband is Catholic. I'm not talking about that. No, no, no. But what I'm saying is, those are their beliefs. So the one saying, I believe in this. And she's like, I believe in this. And then the kid can ultimately decide. Hey, this is how mom grew up

and we're gonna celebrate her traditions. This is how dad grew up, we're gonna celebrate. So you get your children used to different cultures. This is a flat earth. I'm talking about something very different. You're again, of course you're right. But we're dealing with, I think that actually is the how can if you are if you are dedicated to you know can continue this relationship right like

the first step is talk to your wife and be like the first step is being like how much do you believe like actually have a qualitative discussion about like what's going on here? I don't believe you know what I just really feel her out Is this just like something she thinks how how like how much does she believe it right? Unfortunately, it might be kind of like a religion you're talking about different culture different stuff at the end of day religions are also just Bullshit, I know but culture and traditions from those cultures not necessarily the actual belief and scientific fact I'm just saying we're having it there's an issue here I know but I'm just saying the only way to approach it where you can say alright I

like what we can do is be united front as parents about everything else and then the the message you can send to your kids is look, we disagree on this, people can disagree on these things, do your own research and figure out what you think, you know, go to school, talk, whatever and that and you don't have to believe what either mom or dad thinks. That's the best way you can handle it. Unfortunately, I think your reaction is correct and this is kind of a fundamental fucking problem that would, imagine your wife out of the blue, you guys have kids and she wants to teach your kid about the flat earth.

I mean that's fucking, what do you even do? It's a tough thing, I mean you think there is flat To tell miss Christine Columbus over here to just keep running and when she falls off I mean this is hard because flatter. There's just the tip of the iceberg, but truly like Somebody that you I mean it's not gonna happen right this is this is what I think based on his call as the only married person Yeah, he says he's My wife doesn't believe He says she's a great mommy she's got awesome titties and a good ass. It sounds like they're fucking pretty regularly.

That's true too. Crazy people know how to fuck. That is a stronger foundation for a long lasting marriage and family than like someone believing crazy, crazy politics are easily debunkable science. You're not wrong. So I think what he's gotta do is say, like Sav is saying, yeah, figure out first of all

why she's like so clinging onto this shit, but you know, ultimately, who cares, let her think it, but you should have a discussion like, let's cool it with telling our 10 year old this shit because it's cool if that's what you think or you're not convinced of evidence that the fucking Earth is round but we can't be saying shit that just makes our kid look like an idiot. A little crazy if he's like in polite company and talking about oh yeah the earth is flat. The irony is that her round butt and round titties will get flat But the earth is actually round and so eventually the sex will run out and you have to I don't know About that if they're still fucking 10 years like they've been together for a long time That's nothing 34. I've been here for 11 years a good the relate

I kind of else is winning me over here because what do you want some bitch that knows signs, but won't suck your dick No, thank honestly no yeah I mean this is reality this is reality here Matteo you can say that you win you're right you can watch fucking Nova with your dry dick all you want but me I'm fucking I'll be on I'll be on YouTube and in terms of the impact on the kid too, it's like, well her just being a good mom is more important than her believing dumb s**t. All our parents believed such stupid ass s**t and it's like... The more you believe in lizard people, the wetter the pussy.

If that... I don't think that's the case, but I think he might have found a situation here. Hahahaha! But if that were the case, hey... I might be fucking I might be pro Alex Jones after I might put my skeptics What's the conspiracy theory that you guys hear that you're like, okay, I could kind of see that. I don't know. Really?

I mean, that all super famous people are pedophiles. He's super rich. Yeah, mine is. I do believe 9-11 was an inside job. Yeah, Nick, we really went there. Just jumped in. Never forget. Do you know, I watched this show on YouTube called Y Files.

It's great. And what they do is they half of it is like conspiracy theory or aliens or something, right? but then the other half are facts about it and it does leave you because like You it shows you that with the music and with the the drama you believe it and then suddenly you're listening Oh wait, like who that couple that does all that based on the conjuring movies, right? They go he goes in all the detail about them and the ghosts is it but then the other half is like well they were raging alcoholics they were you know there was child molestation accusations and they were doing this to

get that like do you see like where their motives came from finding all these ghosts so it really does put into perspective everything that you hear about you know alien invasion all this stuff so yeah just who it's coming from right food for thought interesting if anyone wants the Y-Files. Look you're so caught up on facts Mateo. I'm sorry that's really not a popular opinion these days. I started my own conspiracy theory in an episode recently I don't think constellations are real. I love that. That's not a conspiracy, that's called being stupid. Ah, so good. Yeah, I mean, also it helps to be stupid as shit to believe this stuff. Yeah, yeah. True. Doesn't hurt. When you want to bet on sports, played on a field or ice or courts,

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We'll do it. What do you think? we got a good one here to end on? Yeah, we do all right Hi stop being okay, this is not advice, but I just have to know would you ever go on dancing with the stars I? Don't know if you're one to dance, but I think you could bust a move Please let me know I think a lot of your fans would like to see it And who knows maybe you'll find a hot lady with big kids who will be your partner That'd be cool I don't know let us know. Thanks Bob

Do you know the Greek dance? Do you know how to do the Greek dance? I can do some of them sure yeah What's it called? There's a lot there's a bunch of different ones like the line though the like solo one is the Zebeckiko But then there's a bunch of other you know Just the it's like the Tarantella that we do in Italy. Yeah, I mean there's like I don't know There's like a handful of them that people do it like a wedding or a baptism or whatever I'm not really dancing with the stars

It would be amazing it's awesome that this is what people want for my career This is to go on Dancing with the Stars. Like, can I make it first? People think for a lot of people going on dancing with the people. I think a lot of people still watch TV and they they be your famous. They'd be excited to go on that show. I'm still you know, I'd like to I'd like to make it a little a little more before we're talking about Dancing with the Stars.

I'm not ready to pass, some of Nikki just missed. Zendaya did? Did she, I didn't know that. She won it. Really? I didn't know that. She did, and in a recent interview they go, do you still watch?

She goes, I have not watched a single episode since I was on that show. I didn't realize she was on Dancing with the Stars. Maybe I should bite my tongue and follow the Zendaya career path. How old is she? She did it when we were- 25? How old is she?

Yeah, she did it when she was a kid. She did it when her like Disney years? Oh, she's a big controversy none of you guys remember this no That because she was a Disney Channel star so she was like a singer and a dancer and everyone was like it's right She's a dancer. She's a dancer. What's her face from dirty dancing one It was like yeah that was in the movie like she literally learned how to dance with Patrick Swayze and of course she went dancing with the stars. Hmm. It's easier They were probably say that about me if I went on to be like this is rigged. This man is too lies

His movements are too beautiful Yeah, he was an athlete when he was younger He was a junior force. He was a varsity football player on the Baltimore Polytechnic Institute Football team. I don't know how to dance. I would never do this. Is there a reality competition you would do We want to do amazing race. Yeah, because we would lose it first Just make me like J. Zess I'd like to I'd like to not now Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just make me like J. Yes. I'd like to I'd like to not now But I would like to when I polish my cooking skills I would like to do chopped. I'm a huge chopped fan and maybe even maybe even the

You know the the Great British Bay. I mean I wouldn't be the British one But some kind of baking are you watching the Great British Bake Off this season? I haven't watched in a while We watched Dylan there's a guy this season His name is Dylan. He is the most beautiful human being really everyone in the world would agree He looks like a fucking thundercat like he is so Unique looking so beautiful as cheekbones and he's so sweet go to images. Yeah, I love that You don't go to images fucking idiot. No This guy a good one get a good You don't go to images fucking idiot. No

This is a good one get a good guy. This guy's whatever. He's all right No, no, you gotta see him in the show when he's with the hat there You guys are over doing this guy to the I was getting ready to get horny. This guy's are just okay He's all right looking no he's we gotta watch the show I'll watch the show. Oh and Nellie's great, too Yeah, I'll watch the show Alright, well, how about one more eldest anything? But I did love that question Only like I just would love to see you would have I'm dancing with the star. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if not fuck it I don't give a fuck

Maybe now they'll see you on Chopped. Someday, you know, Chopped Kitchen, there's a lot of pressure there. Or like Chopped Celebrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Cola Scola did a sketch where they would pretend, what was her name?

Lorraine. Lorraine was on Chopped, they edited it, so like. Oh, that's awesome. You know, oh no, what you're eating is cat hair. I just put it together. It's so good. Cole's a genius. Yeah.

Cole. Have you seen O'Meary? I can't wait. I haven't gone. I really want to go. It's so good. Yeah. Cole is so, so funny.

So, so funny. Do you remember Cole back in the day, like at shows, like at Pine Box or like Union Hall and stuff? Yeah. They were always doing sketches that just turned so dark so quickly. I mean that was the first thing I saw of them was the... it was promoting like a show but it was so... it was like a lady getting interviewed for the murder documentary thing. The whole thing. That's the best one thing it was insanely funny so he came to the office yeah

Wasn't right and it was just so far ag in a dead horse. Yeah, I'll stand I thought Something about just never catches on never so good. They did you murder your sister? He said I did I said okay something's not Well whatever fuck the last call that's good enough man, we had a great episode We'll save that for another time Matteo Nick, thank you so much for coming. I've got east. Oh, watch watch I've got a stove. Yeah, very good. Very good. Watch the podcast. I never liked to do. I'm on tour. The Can't Stop Talking Tour. Go to Mateo Link comedy dot com for tickets. Love that.

Nick, where can they see you on tour? Opening for you sometimes. Or does YouTube channels. He comes out and does four minutes. And I intro him and I go, this is the worst person I've ever met. Their audience is already losing it. Yeah Beautiful we'll see him see the fellows and thank you. Thanks everybody. We'll talk about the grassy me the got see good at When you want to bet on sports, played on a field or ice or courts, Bet Rivers is the place.

Over, under, money, lines, same game, polys, it's all fine. You'll put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with Bet Rivers Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus, available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.