Stavvy's World - #25 - Derek Gaines and Dave Temple
Episode Date: May 22, 2023Derek Gaines and Dave Temple join the podcast to talk about the evolution of the public's attitude towards 'Family Guy,' Dave's crazy upbringing and why he's uncomfortable attending a nice Thanksgivin...g, Derek getting passed back and forth between his divorced parents on the highway, and much more. Derek, Dave and Stav help callers including a woman who's concerned about her 22-year-old brother's obsession with Andrew Tate, and a man who was paralyzed from the neck down in a surgery accident wondering how to get back into the dating world. Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive, Patreon-only episodes.
Transcript
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I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.
So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms
and in a part of the city with woods
and walking trails all around.
The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen
where we all got together the day after the wedding
for a big family meal.
This is a cherished memory for my family and me.
And whenever I drive by that location,
it always makes me smile.
Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.
Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.
The Stavis world 904 800 stop calling we're so voluptu problems.
Happy to have my boys.
I got Derek Gaines, I got Dave Temple in Stavis world.
Thanks for coming fellas.
Thanks for having me man.
Of course.
Yeah, no.
We're hanging around.
We're talking watching Family Guy to go to bed.
What's the best one?
That's my white noise.
It's your favorite.
Peter Griffin is my white.
Just seeing Peter's antics.
That's we're talking that kind of stuff, man.
Just, you know, it is funny,
the cultural swing on family guy,
where it was like, I don't know if you guys remember,
we're all about the same age,
but it was like, when it first came out,
people, and it got canceled,
I don't know if you guys have the head family guy
on DVD?
Yes, that's where I remember.
That's actually where the falling asleep to it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I needed to.
Yeah.
You know what I saw?
I need to.
Yeah.
I don't want to hear that one.
I remember that one.
Yeah.
I was like the DVD menu.
You know what I mean?
So like once the four episodes would play, that menu would just play over and over again
in your sleep.
You know what I mean? Yeah, we really are the last of the Mohicans when it comes to falling asleep to DVDs.
We have the, it is the weirdest generation of how many technologies we've had to get used
to.
Yeah, man.
But yeah, I remember the box set era and I remember it, we basically resurrected family
guy by buying it on DVD.
All you Zoomers to clip it now and put it on TikTok.
You have us to thank.
You have us as teenagers.
I had all it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it kind of went to this like,
oh, it's kind of family guy's hack.
There was like an era where it was like,
it's got two popular.
Seth McFarland is, you know, he's a loser.
He's singing all the time.
He's doing his weird like cowboy musicals or whatever the hell he was on.
And now I feel like it's swung all the way back,
especially for me anyway, it swung back with like,
seeing the clips, and you just see a family guy joke
out of context, and you're like, this shit is awesome.
Yeah, yeah, it's really rules.
It's so weird to say, okay, Joe,
we got some more seasons.
Yeah.
Watching it the way I watch it now is like,
compilations on YouTube.
Yeah.
I don't think I can go back to a full episode.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
And I think that's the beauty.
It's like a lot of media has been harmed by having
to do short clips of everything.
But family guy truly was always just a bunch of bullshit
strong together.
Yeah, it was so clippable.
Yeah, you could put English on a cutaway
and go everywhere.
And everything that South Park made fun of it for
where it was like, you know,
like manatees or whatever, picked the things,
that is just greatest strength in like the current era
because it's like, yeah, this shit is random,
but in a 40 second clip, I'm captivated. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know what the I don't know how they were
fitting Stewie and lingerie in a full episode but right now I'm like this is awesome.
It's always been that way. I never forget once dating a girl or her parents were pretty
affluent. Like her. Okay. Yeah. It was a partner at a law from hell. So we're there
for like Easter dinner. And helping clean up at the end of the night big house and there's a TV in the kitchen is mounted up
Yeah, can I put a little Sunday night
Like I have not missed it since I was a fucking child
So I put it on and it says that episode where like they're drinking Ippocat and trying to
Yeah
And that scene literally is on and I'm never forget
This girl's dad he looks up at the TV and
Sees them all violently
Finally
And he just looks at me goes this the kind of stuff you watch
This is a great
We're sweet was throwing up so much you went I don't want to
Through for a story
That's awesome dude and who is so you that girl like who's that your first rich girl that you were dating
We're trying to make a good impression. How what age are we talking here?
I'm probably about 25 26. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I mean you stood dinner
You got I'm gonna get some pink polo on
I wasn't no cuz I wasn't even that class You was a past tell like a nice no
Pastel zip up. Okay like a
I got you track it. Yeah, yeah
I'm a Hinchman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, generation. Was this, I mean, when I was in high school, it was like the hilariously baggy jeans.
Are we past that?
Is this like the weird faded, like,
lucky brand era?
With all the buttons and scars.
All the buttons and scars, yes.
Exactly.
You have those on, plus and on, plus and on.
I didn't go that far, yeah.
The cut to the scar, that one never cuts to the scar, man.
I'm the cut to the scar. Yeah, I love cut to the start. I'm the cut to the start.
I had a door into back.
You'll still, you got scars on your back?
Yeah, I got scars on my back.
Yeah, I scraped my jeans.
They're understated.
This is when a lucky brand guy grows up.
Just have a couple of knees.
You have a couple of knees.
You have a few knees.
There's more jeans.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's pointed out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so we're just talking a nice Levi's boot gene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pointed out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're just talking a nice Levi's boot cut.
Yeah.
Well, my Levi's boot cut.
Yeah, and it's over like big genes going over tiny little puma.
You know what I mean?
I was definitely like that tall black eye.
Right, right, right.
What is he doing?
Right, right, right, that's awesome, dude.
You could be doing karate or someone drugs.
Yeah.
I think it's a samurai.
How long?
Yeah.
Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, my head.
That's my ass.
Yeah.
Who's your lover, right?
Who's your lover, dude?
Yeah.
That's awesome, dude.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
I do remember, I definitely did a little like cosplaying because I grew up in Baltimore,
you know, I'm trash, you know, I'm Baltimore, you know,
Greek people did pretend to be rich whenever.
So I had the polo look ready to go when I was dating.
I dated an American girl and I went to her place
for like Thanksgiving and shit like that.
And like, you know, for us, it's like, you dress up
a little bit but you also, like we would bring changes
of clothes to Easter because we would have like,
pick up games and we would have like, you know, everyone's would bring changes of clothes to Easter because we would have like pickup games
and we would have like, you know,
everyone's grilling so they're getting dirty
or there's somebody have a pool,
like the one rich family we knew
would like host Easter and it would be like this all awesome.
Like you'd have your nice outfit but then we'd go, you know,
so when I had to like,
That's so cool, at least it's fun to.
It was, it was the best.
Having like pickup games with like old-ass Greek men,
where you know, there's like, you people have like bad knees. It got, it was the best. Having like pick up games like Old-ass Greek men,
where you know, there's like, you know,
people have like bad knees.
It got to the point where people would like bring,
the first year it was just like a fun little game
and then people were like bringing like sweat bands.
People were like, you know, bringing sleep,
knee sleeves, you know what I mean?
And like, oh shit, yeah.
That underarm or shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Start bringing underarm out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Start ho-hoo.
Yeah.
Oh god, you guys got bringing on to our man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah're like, I'm lying. Yeah, college girlfriend, all that kind of stuff.
I would have, you know, I'm trying to be polite.
I mean, it's turkey for the first time.
We were a lamp.
That's how Greek we were.
We had lamp for Thanksgiving, not turkey.
So, I know that feeling, bro.
It's tough.
Here's the thing, I wasn't never intimidated by.
I think I was more ignorant.
Yeah, you didn't know.
Yeah, I never picked up on classes and stuff like that.
Like, I'll never forget, they went out back to smoke cigars and I joined them with a black and brown
A beautiful metaphor
Which one of these people likes their doesn't like their father
Let me guess the man with a wood tip
Let me guess the man with a wood tip Possible nobody else
Who's the purple?
Yeah
Who has nobody else?
Yeah, purple like mine
You're asking them to match?
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
I'm like, whoa, we're dead, it's cooler than I thought
I'm gonna put 10 on it
Hey, I'm a guest
I think you did
I remember he didn't like me though because we were from the same neighborhood.
Okay.
And that was like I literally grew up the block behind her dad.
God.
So even though I was just a ghetto piece of shit.
Yeah.
I like this kid.
He's from the old neighborhood.
You know what I mean?
And he could tell I was authentic that way.
So all of my faux pas.
That's nice. That's nice. He knew exactly where I was from and he was just like was authentic that way, so all of my faux pas... That's nice, that's nice.
He knew exactly where I was from,
and he was just like, yeah, whatever.
He grew up in the neighborhood before they destroyed it,
before they redlined it and destroyed it.
He was like, he was the generation before White Flight,
and he joined White Flight.
He was the black guy that was like,
they're on to some here.
Definitely.
Yeah, man, it's worthy of fucking my daughter.
He's from the old country worthy of fucking my daughter.
He's from the old country.
Like, he was in the neighborhood with like a couple of talons and Jews still in there.
Like before the last, the last vestige.
Yeah.
He's definitely made it out.
Yeah.
I remember him introducing me to someone that way.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, he's a young man, but I think he gets it.
Yeah. I think he's one of the guys that gets it. One of the good ones. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I love that. Yeah, that is a fun thing because it's like you do think about the the people that leave
And they do have a fondness for like I do that
I meet a lot of people from Baltimore that are like it went to my high school
Yeah, you know, and it's like they'll they have like a pride even though they are so far away from you know
Being in the Baltimore I grew up anyway the 90s and 2000s Baltimore. They were already in the burbs
Yeah, but it's fun,
people always do have that pride where they wanna be like,
oh, I was,
because there is a little bit of like,
it's still cool to be from a place that was shitty.
Oh, you know what I mean?
It's cool to make it up.
From the suburbs already, of course.
So nothing counts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Derek famously called us act black.
Come on.
We were in the, we were at the stand every weekend
together for two years, it feels like,
I know your acts brother.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Change up know your axe brother. I know your axe brother.
Change those things.
It's been a pre-pandemic, no dude.
We saw each other like every weekend.
Close up, I was working the cake set.
I like all this, no, I'm not kidding.
No one else, you have never heard those two words put together by anyone else.
I love it because in fact, people will go the opposite way.
And they would pretend and you usually could have.
You could have gone a lot of gangster rap.
Yeah, I learned early, never to post.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't do that.
Plus I started comedy in Philly with a lot of honest audience.
Right.
So you go in there a lot.
They can smell it and eat that shit right up.
Yeah.
They could smell the PSAT tutoring on you.
Yeah.
And dance classes.
And music classes.
And music classes.
Yeah.
It was another thing.
When we started, because I started out with Derek,
Dan and Philly, another one that was a weekly thing that I used
to see every week at the over mic was, I just crossed the bridge
on the DP, the Dimes and Pennies.
You know what I mean?
So he's always bring up this joke about,
I'm not from the city.
Yeah, yeah.
I had to pay a $5 toll to come and do this.
Right, right, right.
And I'm so broke, I paid the $5 in Dimes and Pays.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was an old, that's old three.
That's like, three-year class of three-year old four-year.
Yeah.
Jesus.
That's awesome.
So your family was basically, they were like,
we had more in common with the lawyer, dad.
Like you're like, you guys were in the burbs.
Burbs, because my grandma was well off.
She drove for the septum.
Well, yeah, I did.
But she was like a token cop,
so they made more money, big pension, union, all that shit.
And this is before any of that.
So union was thick, good.
No, union's, yeah, no, you did.
America's fucked because we've taken unions out.
Like regular people with unions were able to afford,
like being a septal driver, it still should be the same way
where if you have a fucking job that you show up to every day
for fucking 40 years, you should be able to get your family.
Like it should transfer generationally,
but now we've got it unions, everyone's fucked,
but it's nice to hear, so she was driving.
Driving, so she had a nice little house
Nice look like duplexes people lived up Jewish people lived up states
I know it was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know in Philly still is in Philly this North East
This one I'm like young man and my mom got her money up slowly but surely
Apartment apartment apartment but on the other end my dad was doing okay in DC
So I was one of the divorce eight kids, but I was living in the pop life in my mom life
And they almost competed for my level. Yeah, yeah single only kid in the face. Yeah, oh my mom's up my dad had a daughter
My half sister, but she was on with her mom DC with her mom. Oh, not that
Her mom is like either DC or Germany because it was Air Force Air Force set up
So yeah, that's a nice set up by the the way, to knock someone up and her daughter,
your daughter just has to go to Germany
and live with the mom.
Yeah, it's like, that's smart.
It's like, no, I'd love to be in your life,
but you know, I'm in America.
I'm a part of the flight engineer,
but he also know how to engineer family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was looking just schematics.
He was like, let me take a look at a blueprint of your pussy.
Yeah. You see, if I drop one over here and one over here. Just looking just schematics. He's like, let me take a look at a blueprint of your pussy. Pussy.
Pussy.
If I drop one over here and one over here, right?
That should be good.
That's enough.
Cover my face.
And a fly that goes to these, my way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's awesome, dude.
So you were, so you, so Philly, DC's not,
Philly burbs with your mom?
Philly, Northease, Philly, and then I moved to South Jersey.
Okay. When I was like
1516 nice. Oh, yeah, it was always a nice time nice Philly to Jersey a transition was never bad
We don't me amount because I got a small family like I just don't know my uncles nice when I'm died
And it's just me my mama aunt you got this owned
You this on that I was gonna say yeah, and then yeah, so it's just us three nice
I don't want that size my dad and all my family over there, but you know, I'm kind of focused on the two You did something I was gonna say. And then, yeah. So it's just a three. It kinda works out. It only worked out.
My dad, and all my family over there, but shit.
I'm kinda focused on the two of them.
I'm not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice.
Keep a tight focus.
Yeah.
You had, you ever spent any time in DC or no?
Oh, just a busy.
We were about J.A.
I mean, always visited because it was like,
we lived in Philly, my mom would drive halfway,
meet at the Chesapeake house.
Oh wow.
I'd better pick me, I was a highway kid.
Damn, we know the Chesapeake house, so that's the peak house. Oh wow. I'm about to pick me up as a highway kid. Damn, we know the test the peak house,
so that's all in Baltimore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm about to test the peak house,
and then go to DC, hang on my dad for a weekend.
So I had that balance.
Oh, so fun.
They were trading you off like it was a drug deal.
It was what?
Like, and then you were handled.
And the burger kick.
And then you were up there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Derek, go sit in that in that blue la saber
Don't talk to anyway your friends never did they never did it went hand-to-hand
All right, here's some quarters go sit in the massage chair
Get a crab can you fill up
That's so fine. That's awesome
That was basically to come up. I got you. I was spoiled from both sides
That's awesome like that's what I've've always said, I'm working on a bit
where it's like my parents stayed together,
but it's like, I wish they had gotten the vote.
Like you want the competition.
You want them to fight for your love
with attention and material things.
That's the thing.
I wanted Nintendo and an Xbox.
You know what I mean?
I want to vote.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had the exact opposite. Okay. Where both of my parents
they split and they were doing pretty well, but neither of them were competing. My dad was
telling my mom, I'll pay what I was supposed to. Yeah. When he comes and visit, we can do
shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. yeah, my mom. She just kind of got frustrated being a single mother
Damn did yeah any stepdad's or boyfriend's or who's in the
This feels weird to say I like enough to cuz it feels like I'm trashed my mom into
Don't worry. You're gonna come out later
I'm just gonna come out later. We'll have a month or two in between.
My mom dated what I can only describe as DMX.
Okay.
Okay.
For six years.
Okay.
A bark bark motherfucker.
Bark bark bark.
A violent man with undiagnosed mental illness.
A serious mental illness.
A serious tripling drug habit that it was like,
Steel a cop car.
God, a witch. It's a witch. it was like still a cop car. Oh no, wait.
It's still a cop car.
It's still a cop car.
This guy smokes crack the Wednesday
and my mother is a cop car.
This guy drops me and my mom and takes my mom's car
and he's smoking crack with his friends
and his street when he's supposed to be looking for a job.
That was six years of my father figure.
That my other dad, my real dad just casually like,
whatever, that's not my problem.
You know the meaning of the gondola deal with this?
Why?
And then the saddest thing that I watched my mom deal with later
was she would try to date after Ricky was gone.
Right, right, right.
But the guy, she's born.
Awesome name for a guy like that by the way.
And it's also because that, Ricky, no matter what race, is a piece of shit. Ricky was gone right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right There's hookers in his carpet. Mullet, like fuck the porn rose.
Rickie.
Whatever the haircut is, Ricky's a piece of shit.
So, then you wouts my mom.
Did he have straight backs when he and Ricky have?
Ricky was bald, but he wore two pays.
A crutch-roaking two-pays guy.
Yeah, buddy.
Like a friend.
And they were.
That was really strange because they were really curly two-pays. Yeah, buddy Really
Non black
Yeah
It did work. It did work.
Because I know there was one house, one day I went with him
on one of these crack missions.
Like, he, because my mom, she got dropped off first
because she had to be to work early.
Okay, yeah.
And then he's put a drop me off of school.
And some days, he would just look up and be like,
you don't wanna go to school, dude?
All right.
Oh, you give me this decision to make it.
Six now.
I'm on my choice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I got to see what life is like, a great kid take your child to smoke crack day
And there was one house that we used to go to a lot of you not just ladies name was mama Luis
She was an old lady that was in the kitchen and like he would go up
There was an other kids there, but he would leave me and go upstairs in the smoke room
And they would they would get high and blast music
and play the congas and shit like that.
There's other kids there.
It's crack head daycare.
I said, when your kids live there,
I'm not 100% sure.
You know when you're like five, six year old, ask questions.
Can you just see other kids?
You see sandbox in a junkyard.
Right, yeah.
So it's like they're in the room, they have an Ikea.
Well, the person shopping is like,
he's like, they have fucking, exactly what I can't Yeah, well the person shopping is like
It's like they have fucking exactly what I was like. I'm just me street on TV. These kids. I would have great time I don't remember any of their names. I never saw any
30
I saw them today
We don't need to know each other. Of course. Of course they have fun
And then when he was when he was gone out of the picture
It was weird my watching my mom grow up
and trying to date again.
But the caliber of guys were different.
They were more respectable, more responsible guys,
and she didn't like that.
Is it fucked up knowing now?
Like, there's no other way to make this,
there's no other way to look at the data
and not come up with Ricky had awesome dick.
You know, like, does that, does that,
I talked about this on my first album.
Okay.
That's what it was.
At one point, you're mom was getting her shit knocked out,
dude.
At one point I walked in the room to them taping sponges
to the back of her headboard.
Because he was,
I'm flipping the sand.
I'm out of the headboard just
...
You're asking him why you're doing that?
He is for shocks on headboard.
For her, Stavros, you get some sleep.
No, never like that.
That was the answer.
Do you understand how good you are when a woman lets you talk to her son?
It was weird because the other guys that came later that were like more responsible
Moners guys nice cars and dress nice. They were softer and then my mom went through this weird phase of like
Mary dudes. Oh wow, and she's good. That was bad, man.
She's like, that was bad.
And it started to affect me
because I remember being in middle school.
I just talked about the son of a podcast.
I used to say karate.
Okay, so.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm a kid.
I made it to a brown belt.
There you go.
Ready to test from a black.
Yeah.
I'm gonna start fucking around with the karate teacher.
Wow.
Damn, man. And things got awkward now.
How did you do that?
I say damn, man.
Holy shit.
And he was married.
He was married.
He drove a horse.
You can't shiver.
You can't shiver.
You can't shiver.
You can't.
Let me get to that.
Yeah, that's fucked up, dude.
Yeah, shit.
It would just be like, I wasn't in my mom's business, but you
were just saying, no, you would be the shiver. No, when you're shivering, there's not be interbiseless. Especially, I'm a kid. It was just be like I wasn't in my mom's business, but no
No, no, it would not be in her business. Especially I'm a kid. I'm always in a live room on the floor watching TV
Good God. It was just
Knock come through and it got to the point where for me I just kind of became numb to it
You know, yeah, you got it. You're disassociating because they would win they would try to win me over
Oh, God. I remember there was one dude this white dude who didn't get it
He's like trying to bond with me and bring me snacks and he's to call me shack
Heavy
I
Charlie from always sunny. Yeah, yeah, his mom was
She had a right to live her life it was just to a point yes when it's costing you black belts
The episode You black
Deliver like sure
With a guillo
I still I still can't get rickies to pays out of my head. That's an awesome guy
Rick dam. I want Ricky on the pod
I mean obviously you're still if you see him
That's fucking wild
So with your parents like get married too young is that what happened, or have you young, or?
Shit, this sounds so bad.
No, dude.
Love my mom, but this sounds so bad.
Yo, first of all, your mom rocks.
Okay?
She's old rockstar.
Your mom rules rockstar.
To be like, yeah, look, my son,
like at some point she did the math,
and she was like, I probably fucked them up with Ricky already, I might as well suck some Mary dick too.
You know what I mean?
Like, I remember there are always shoes for her mom and dad.
Of course, that's always how this happens, right?
So, but one of the things, all right, so my dad,
like his dad, Air Force II, you know what I mean?
In fact, my dad was always jockeying for me
to come and live with him
My dad lived in Jersey 10 minutes away from this get to probably would have been friends
Took my dad up on the but I never want to lead the city. I wanted to stay living in
Squallor with my mom because that's all I knew and I'm sorry. Sorry. These married guys bring too many welch's grape snacks
We're going to many welches grape snacks
Going on here so
My mom and dad meet right yeah
My mom is out at a bar with her friend her home girl They went to high school together. They homey. Yeah, and this dude is trying to fuck air force guy
Yeah, but she he's trying to fuck my mom's friends
My god Air Force guy. Yeah, but he's trying to fuck my mom's friends. Oh, my God, dude.
And the lady wasn't interested in my dad at all.
And my mom, she goes, hey, hey, hey, you can get this way.
And it was like, right.
So what she did, and you know, they've stopped around a little bit, but you're like, it was supposed to go this far.
It was supposed to go this far.
God damn, this is all right.
So, you were meant to exist.
But his living, my mom's an absolute basket case.
Of course.
My dad has to get away. Like my mom, like she's a fighter.
Like my mom will start fights in the street.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put my dad in an awkward position,
because my dad's big tall.
You know, in the meaner, it's like, hey,
yeah, stop talking so much shit.
Right, so he kind of pieces off and what's even crazier is,
my mom's best friend realizes how much of a catch my dad
is. Oh my god. They end up getting married and having a nice suburban life in New Jersey.
You're the rough draft child. So again, you're a love friend. There's so much in a mosque. The first page. Between my mom.
Yeah, that family got punched up.
First.
They're like, he, I don't know about this squalor.
Why don't we try suburbs?
Right, I don't know about that.
Right.
Going to David R.
No, I don't know about that.
My dad is a big married to my mother's best friend
for 10 years
You want to talk of like that drop off point of my mom. She's never going to
Never went to that house
Even though they got married I knew that they were
Bloody I see my dad for a while and at one time I did get picked up and instead of going to North Philly
We go to Jersey right and like Miss Jane is there and there's like a big picture in the 4. Yay of them to in a wedding picture
I'm like, oh, okay, you know, no one ran that by you do nobody ran there was no warning because I'm pretty sure my mom
Shed because I watched the same thing happen when I started when I had a kid yeah and it broke
same I followed the same cycle my first baby mom is my mother you know what I mean like and so
did you end up marrying her best friend but when I was I was engaged to be heard and that upset her, even though we were done for years.
And my daughter had to watch the emotional effects
of her reacting to me being engaged on social media.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, wow, yeah.
God damn dude, that's fucking wild.
Are you, is your dad and Ms. Jane still together?
They got it.
They did 10 years and then they split and
And my dad was just a bachelor just slaying push at the church
And fucking for it five Excel purple pastel suits
He's got a bowler hat that smells like Go butter He did it pretty good
Oh
Bobby he like oddly
Contracted like Alzheimer's like 55. Oh, and then he checked out like 62. That's a tough one. Yeah, I don't know man Like cuz he has a thing about tall people one. We don't really live that true. We got journalists ever
Hips yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want to see a tall person become incapacitated and need to rely on short people
At all person become incapacitated and need to rely on short people
That's the revenge it's like you're tall you get to burn bright you get to get more pussy You get to but it's like it's ending fast. Yeah
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And then some girl after she fucking was like that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad
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I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.
So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods and walking
trails all around.
The Airbnb also included a
huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a
cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me
smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the
most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an
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Damn, dude.
Yeah, I mean, also, I'm just just tough in general, though, just to see a motherfucker
go like, just start to lose it.
Like my, definitely my grandma had like, who she had some fucking dementia.
And it's just like, and even my other grandmother now, she now, she doesn't have that, but she just has the like,
if you're talking or you have to remind her
what you just said five times in a row.
But it sounds like your dad got a nice little,
you know what I mean, the end was nice.
My dad is from the Richard Allen projects,
which is the same house in Cosby.
Him and Cosby grew up together, you know?
I hope that's where the similarity ends.
Right in Joe Connick. Right in the end, he's on those projects. Excess Cosby him and Cosby grew up together. I hope that's where the similarity ends
But yeah, man like he I mean try and find the different guy who grew up in those projects now to say, to give you the, if you ever do a search and he listens to us, doing search
when the Richard Allen homes, it's, no one good is coming.
Yeah, like they've torn those projects down, they made them into townhouses, but yeah,
it's a while I got you.
I got you.
Richard Allen homes. Yeah, but he got out.
You know what I mean?
He enlisted in the Air Force, like,
during the Vietnam War.
While most black dudes was getting drafted.
Of course, of course.
You know what I mean?
And he got us up educated.
He came, learned electronics.
And we talked about he joined the union.
He came home.
That was one thing my pop had that was amazing.
Because he had spent so much time around white folks
in the military.
He was able to work a square job when he came home.
A lot of black dudes.
I can't do it no more, I'm talking like this.
It's weird, like my dad, he could do it.
So he was in the union.
Well, if he enlisted, he probably had a better,
he's a better officer,
but like a lot of guys got drafted, got so fucked.
Right.
They were thrown to the worst situations
and like, you know know treated fucking horrendous so
and my dad was a dnf student who spoke with a starter
wow but due to the Air Force and his electronics training
and the union time he made like 90 96 thousand by the end
of you know the man like as a dnf student from the project
spoke with a starter that's a mate he was a homeowner
everything so I'm not out you know, they did it
Yeah, damn dude. That's fucking it. All it took was just
Practicing having a family once with you and your mom
That's that he was also a DNF father
We got it up to C plus with a second family
Yeah, no, believe it listen, I got it. I got a D plus dad myself. I got I have the I say I always have the best shitty father
Where it's like, you know, he was just abusive, but he only hit us a couple times, more yelling.
And if you gotta get abused, it's like,
being scared is better than getting the shit kicked out
of you, you know, it's like, and he cheated,
but he only cheated after my dad was fat as shit.
Both my parents were kind of like in this fat,
loveless marriage, then he had a heart attack
and he lost so much weight that he was like, hey, I can start getting pussy now.
It wasn't like, it wasn't like, wow, I have a second lease on life.
It was like, I should start cheating.
First of all, I like, I love watching the man realize.
Yeah, I love watching a man sit in a dark place for like years and a way.
I mean, everybody gonna say it. Push.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm typing my chest up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me some to touch on.
100%.
100%.
He had a second act, he's a carpenter too.
So he was like, physically, you know,
he's a strong guy and it's like,
there's definitely an archetype for like, you know,
older guy, he was pretty handsome.
I mean, we're broke, he didn't have any money, but it's like,
I remember going to his fucking,
like his, my car got a flat right outside of his workshop.
I was like, oh perfect, I'll just pull over
and it'll help me fit, you know,
cause our other family friend had an auto body shop
right around there, so I just pull up,
I'm like, oh great, and I almost felt like,
hey, you know what, This is kind of nice.
Like doing some dad and son shit, he'll like like,
because we were like, me and my dad
don't have a good relationship now.
But I was, that was at the age where I was like kind of,
I was starting to feel like I grew up
and I was looking at him as a man instead of just my dad.
And I was starting to put the math,
do the math and be like, wait,
I don't think I respect this guy.
You know what I mean? So it was like, so and be like, wait, I don't think I respect this guy. You know what I mean?
So it was like, I was still trying to like, you know, I was like,
and part of me was like, I was literally
remembered thinking like, hey, this is kind of cool.
Well, like I'll change the tire.
Maybe we'll even hang out.
Like I was have like a rare positive moment about my dad.
I thought it was almost like meant to be.
It's like, what are the odds I get a flat right here?
Like literally, I get the flat and I turn right into the thing.
And I turn in and I'm like, yeah,
I knock on the door and he's just like,
he opens the door like a little bit.
And he's like, what are you doing here?
What's up, what do you need?
And I'm like, what are you talking about?
I got a flat, like, could you help me?
I was like, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's like, come on in through.
And he opens the main, it's like this big workshop, right?
Okay, and there's these big like bay doors for like for like, you know, trucks to look at and then but there's but there's an office there
We're like usually we go in right and it's like he he puts me like does the bay door?
So I would go in through the like right into their workshop? He didn't have a bitch in there, but I was like, but he had the the remnants of a bitch in there
And I go to his off like and I used to work with my dad right he would do that thing where it's like tell
I'll teach you the kind of it was like a scared straight program for immigrants
Well, okay, go to school or you'll do this, you know, so it's like in the summers. I would go
I was a horrible employee.
I literally just didn't do shit.
I would pretend to be shitting for 40 minutes.
And I would just be in the bathroom doing nothing.
Just one time I still, you know how construction workers
and contractors, they have just hits everywhere.
They have like, for whatever reason,
they have just porn everywhere.
I would steal porn and beat off in the bathroom.
Well, my dad is working.
I would also just go into the thing and watch.
He had one of those little fucked up TVs with the antenna and shit.
And all we got was UPN and I would just watch Martin instead of do work.
So that office meant a lot to me.
Because when I was being a lazy fucking kid,
I actually had fun times there, you know?
And so I go in there to get a fucking drink.
He always had like brisk man.
He always had brisk iced tea.
I was like, I'm gonna go ahead and have a little brisk
while my, you know, I'm gonna be like,
oh okay, this is shit.
And I go in there, dude, in the office,
there is straight up a futon that has been folded down
to end with like covers and like,
he made a straight, he made a bed in his like,
carpenter office.
And I opened to get the fridge to get some drinks,
there's fucking wine, there's cheese plates,
there's like a fruit, there's like a fucking like,
like a edible arrangement, like he was about to get like awesome,
like he was about to sneak around with whoever
his mistress was at the time.
And he was like, what are you looking around for?
Like he was like doing that.
She was like, what are you nervous?
He's still married to your mom.
Oh yeah, he's got her married.
And he's like, what, he literally said
everyone's your mom's sending you.
And I was like, what?
He was like, what?
I was like 24, you know what I mean?
You're like, see my hair.
It was the one year after I moved home for a year.
I was in college and then I stayed in my college house
with my friends for a year and then money got tight
because I was doing stand-up,
but it wasn't doing shit.
So I moved back home for a year
to save up money to move to New York.
And that was the year that I lived with them again.
And that's when I was like, oh, this guy fucking sucks.
You know what I mean?
He fucking, he's like, I just don't,
like he's the kind of guy where it's like,
if he wasn't my dad, I bet you I would get along
because he's funny, like we have,
there's certain things I definitely get from him.
He's a charismatic, charming guy,
but you know, he's just kind of a, kind of like a...
You got to know too much.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like sometimes you don't need to know all that shit.
And that's like, if they had gone divorced, it would have been better all.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, he's got some like stupid Russian girlfriend.
You know what I mean?
He's got some, he would definitely be dating a trash woman that could care of.
Like my dad is completely incapable of taking care of himself.
Okay.
He would have gotten a new woman to look after you.
You know what I mean?
Like, it would have been fine.
I would have, I would have been able to put it together But yeah, just fucking hilarious. Yeah, that was pretty common in cities like Baltimore and Philly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the chances of him being a good dad
Now you don't know your dad that well. Yeah He's a hero
My pop made it he kind of taught if your father taught you anything my father taught me how to be a showstopper
I'm sorry. Yeah, I remember my class trip. I was fucking, I think it was fifth grade, sixth grade.
And we went to DC and I called him,
told him where he was gonna be at.
When he figured out where he was,
he pulled up to the museum.
Like he came up on me.
What do you do?
What do you do?
I don't know if that's my part,
but here's come the flat part.
So my mom gave me permission to leave with him out of DC.
Right.
Off that, that, you know, that you know that highway shit right right right
So I remember everybody all the kids getting back on the bus right so as they get on the bus my pop pulls up in his red BMW
He's had since eighty eight
eight
Pulls on his red BMW and out of his and in a box
He has a presidential M&M's because at the time he was flying for Clinton
My fuck pulls out the box of the M&Ms with Bill Clinton's
Seconds are stolen to the kids with a bus
Who the fuck is this dude?
That's my pop pop
And we left in the red V-R in I said
That's what my finger up to the footpath
That's awesome.
Yeah, so that's where it is.
But that was a great lesson.
You can be an absent father, 85% of the time.
But you got to crush that 15%.
You pull up.
Yeah, but that's the game.
You know, be my, I don't even care.
Fresh off beating the Monica Lewinsky case when Bill was unstoppable.
He was bombing Kosovo at the time.
Suck on this sloppadon Milosevic.
That was when Bill was fucking had all the sauce in the world.
It was hot 90s.
Right before 9-11.
That's how I'm doing a handling the second half of Fatherhood.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was in it and I became depressed.
Yeah.
Angry.
A lot of life.
Me and my ex we split up.
Now I'm the cool dad that pairs you in when I have a show.
Yeah, I'm making money.
We can do whatever you guys want.
You know what I mean?
And because I'm not there, it's like,
whatever your wildest imagination is.
You know my days do beat my mind every time I visit.
Go carts.
Yeah.
He was saying we go carton.
They wanted a big joint and like DC. Yes
He's sick like go car tracks
This is like a this is a deadbeat dad crash course right now
I'm a good energy. Yeah.
Yeah.
You can be miserable.
Good energy.
Just polish your gut on you weekend.
You know what I mean?
The comics have careers, I have good energy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's you the same shit.
Yeah.
Good energy, good call.
It's true.
I mean, that is, like in life, like just your vibes
are so important in terms of even every other like skill,
even at a job, at a like who you are a person a person
Interpersonally is the most important thing even more than any other skill is just how do you feel in the like in each moment
It's it is very you know, it's really important for sure
But that's it so you were so you spent so you also spend most of your time with your mom then we moms
But I would but I did visit my dad frequent that's it until I hit my like 20s
What's the yeah, and then it got like lighter and lighter because that's a kid sure, but
But that but was it so you're so you so you we've already gone through Dave's you know
Childs at where he was at what was it? What's the what's the burbs like with mom burns with mom was perfect
I didn't step that to or no no my mom's a single okay
It was yeah, so it was kind of hard for me
So I was single too. Yeah
Me and my mom we did okay because you know, it's just me and her yeah, and then when my grandmother died
It was just me my her my aunt and but oh, so you're kind of raised by yeah, but women basically group of ladies
That's awesome so but you know because it was just me, I was spoiled.
And my mom worked all the time and worked all the time.
But she'd always motivate me to go out there
and figure out Carmen or whatever, go,
rich of friends and all that.
Go be like, go be by.
That's awesome, that's awesome.
It was always fly, you know, just, you know,
front lawn, back lawn, we didn't really,
we didn't want for nothing.
It was just like, I really, we had a goal on it.
So that's it. You had one of the, in another, like,
it's like I said, literally we were at the stand-alone time.
You would talk about smoking weed with your mom.
Is that true?
You really would just fucking light up with your mom's?
That's true, after a while.
Because I would get in trouble with the first minute
when she saw that I was just pie,
because she thought I was gonna do other shit.
Right.
And then, I'm gonna go Ricky mode with it.
Yeah.
Just so, bro.
Yeah. It's so, bro.
It's so weird. You know, we call it Ricky.
And we're in an area and we stop past his mom's house.
And his mom just comes down with a rolling tray.
Like, say what someone offers guest cookies.
Yeah.
It's my smoke of joy.
You're like, wow.
That's sick.
You really have a beautiful set up, Derek.
Like, if I could write how I'd want to be raised.
Yeah, man. Truly, because the other thing is, Dad who's just there, I really have a beautiful set up there. Like if I could write how I'd want to be raised.
Truly, because the other thing is, dad who's just there,
because dad who's just there enough to give you
confidence and cool shit and bring no negative
angry father energy, perfect.
And then realistically, I think everyone I know
who's raised by groups of like either single mom
or you know, it's like, you relate to women much easier,
you have less of like, like I would assume
it was easier for you to like talk to girls,
have girlfriends earlier,
because everyone in your life is like,
I think girls into the house,
a lot of stinky chicks in there.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Whereas like for me, it was like,
I was fucking nervous,
because it's like, you know, my mom's the best,
but it's like,
she's the only real female influence of my life.
I had my grandma, but she's like,
my grandma lived with us too, but it was just like,
but my dad was just so,
there was just so much of my dad there
and so much of like, just sports and all this other shit
where it's like, and all my friends were like guys,
I didn't have any, you know,
like someone that's gonna cool older sister,
I'm like, they always do better with girls.
You know what I mean?
Or I feel like if you have like mom,
like you just do better,
because you're just less scared.
So I would honestly have set it up exactly.
If I had designed how I wanna be raised,
it's like, be raised by Derek.
Be raised by Derek.
Get the daregain's fucking set up
Smoked and your mom smoking weed she's cool
She invites all the homies over Thanksgiving. We always cook big awesome me and my mother have crab leg fights
We have fights
That's Take that. Yeah, it's gonna be a good dinner right? Yeah, yeah, that's fuck. I love that struggle with me And we didn't we didn't struggle. So what do you think the single thing is about though? Never never had a fucking Cuz I'm on me. No, my mom's classy. I think she was sneaking right here that day. Yeah
The upper class they don't even mean the poke line. Yeah. They're just saying things how they are.
They don't realize what they're doing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, this is what I see.
And I get this vibe even when I go to Derek's mom's house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If my mom would have met Derek's mom, they probably would have been friends for about
a month.
Right. And something would have happened where my mom would have looked
at her different.
Yeah.
And now I just don't have that friend anymore.
Right, right, right, right.
Right, right, right, right.
Like he said, his mom invices over for Thanksgiving.
My mom has never done Thanksgiving.
We always house hopped.
Oh wow.
And we would go wherever, whoever she was fucking
with at the time.
Right, right, right.
So there's like, they're scandalized.
Bro, they're just clutched his pearls.
She's just, she's, she's, right.
He was savage.
It was so good to me.
The holidays, they have, like, even when I do get invited
to his house, and I know the invite is genuine of course don't like going because it just feels so reminiscent of
Oh, they're just taking us on
Bad for Tony and her son
I didn't know.
All right, my first few thanksgivings
at other people's houses were very embarrassing
because I was raised like a goddamn savage.
I'm used to eating on the floor in front of the TV
in the living room.
They take the turkey out, you just run up,
take a bite out of it.
Bruh!
You're on all floors on the table, bruh.
Like putting ants in your mouth.
Like the Bubbys' dog. Yeah, I'm the one who's putting I'm seeing your mouth. The purpose is dog.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know nothing about sure what my mouth closed.
I don't know about elbows not on the table.
Of course.
I have no head on the head.
Right.
Yeah.
My mom would turn on me.
Oh, that's so.
Because with somebody at the table,
he'd be like, what's up with this young man,
that you, yeah, you don't know how to eat it today.
And I'm like, bitch, we're not eating it today.
We're not eating it today.
We're not eating it today.
Our table is cluttered with shit.
We're eating it before.
You know, like so, I didn't like that
opportunist of, I am the outcast.
I get that.
I mean, because how would a holiday in,
if you really think about it,
should be, you're at your most comfortable with the people
you love the most.
Yeah.
You don't have to pretend anything, right?
And that's why people on the other side,
I mean, you have like one extreme
and the other extreme of why people don't like holidays
is like, because families can be,
they have their own kind of fake bullshit
where it's like all the politics
and all the pretending to be happy, right?
The other side of it, but it's like,
somewhere in the middle of the perfect holiday is,
you're feeling good, there's no stress.
You know, that's why I do, me and my brothers
have started doing holidays where it's like,
we would do Korean barbecue Thanksgiving.
Which is me, we would just go out,
fuck a good thing, you know, like hang out.
Friends would do it like, you know,
we hosted Christmas year once during the pandemic
where it was like, L this,
because me and L this have been friends
since we were in kindergarten.
Nice. And like, we have another friend eldest have been friends since we were in kindergarten. Nice.
And like we have another friend, our other friend,
we were literally meet eldest and our other friend.
We've known each other our whole lives.
One of my college roommates lives here,
we've all been friends for like 15 years at this point.
So it is kind of that thing where it's like,
I'm with you, I was never a big holiday guy
because the other extreme where it's like,
it's not that we like hopped around too much.
In fact, we would go, other people would host,
but they were like family friends who,
I was like, why do I feel more comfortable
with these people than my actual family?
Right.
You know what I mean?
It's like these people are just nice to me,
no weird strings attached.
And this is where we get weird.
Where I wouldn't want to go because,
I don't want to go experience a nice home.
And then come back to this shit.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like I would hang out with my mom and sometimes my mom would get like, like dangerously drunk.
Oh, man.
And then like, all right, it's time to leave and it's like, oh, good.
Yeah.
My life would look like.
Right.
There on the care raising health.
I don't want to go home with my mom.
There's nobody there. Like she's not gonna wake up tomorrow.
Like I'd rather stay here where all the fun is.
You know what I mean?
Okay, so it'd be that kind of thing of like prying me away from these nice houses.
Like that's the vibe I get when I go to Derek's house.
I'm gonna get to him like, it's a nice house man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's my mom fucking spending night.
Shit, you got a kid in here.
You gotta go to therapy bro.
No.
You gotta work through this shit. Yeah, there we go.
There it is.
Yeah.
There's the man who used to have hot cheetos for dinner.
As of five year olds.
Five years old, we're gonna with monstrous heartburn.
Taken a prilosec before second grade.
I am exactly the man my mom wanted me to be
Fuck there can put me on a some shit to just fuck my head up
We were talking about this on the podcast Monday and you didn't realize it
This was I open the thing but I was discussing how when I was a kid,
my mom used to leave while I was outside
and then I would just be locked out.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
I would just go outside to play with my friends
and I'm like, come home and place this lock.
My mom was crazy, dude.
And he was like, oh yeah, yeah, that's your mom.
She was just testing you.
Like, you're making sure you can take care of yourself.
They kind of do that on purpose.
That's old filly shit.
My grandmother would have done the same shit to me
if she'd have got a chance.
And I'm like, fuck, I never even thought about that.
You know what I mean?
I guess she was just kind of grooming me
always throwing these weird hiccups.
You know what I mean?
What did you spare and go kill a lot?
Like what's the matter on the podcast?
I called her and she called me out when I was 15, 15 right like I got into the streets and started doing all because yeah
Even that's all that same aspect. You're gonna fucking start acting up when that's your childhood
It's not even it was the selfishness. It was like the same way I was in a wasn't spoiled
Yeah, so we didn't really want for anything, but I wanted for stuff
Yeah, and the kids in the neighborhood were able to show me oh well you can do this
Yeah, all right, so I began to listen to the streets of my mom put show and we had our that I wanted for stuff. And the kids in the neighborhood were able to show me, oh, well, you can do this. Yeah.
All right, so I began to listen to the streets
of my mom put me up.
Yeah.
And we had her, she called in on the show,
I called her from the phone and put her on,
and then we asked her, like, oh,
when you put me out at 15,
what did you think was gonna happen?
Right.
And the craziest thing that my mom said was she was like,
wow, I mean, it was extreme,
but I knew you could take
care of yourself. That's fucking retarded. It's not my lawyer shit. Yeah she was like C300
Little flip was on the radio
You need that fucking you didn't need to make your son a scavenger. She really said she had to go. That's why I enjoy having friends like Derek and his kids.
They know that about me, but they don't judge that.
Oh yeah, you can still come in my house,
you can still look around and we'll still invite you to choose.
Grab a crack, I know.
Grab a crack, like.
Your fucking bar for is like love is so slow, it's hilarious.
So yeah, they treat me with baseline human decency.
I love that you're sleeping in the house.
I was straight to the backyard.
Which is so funny because literally,
I've thought we've started on the podcast a bunch,
but I'll just zalbanian and Greek people in Albanians
are like Greeks are racist towards Albanians.
And our other friends dad is a fucking like Hick Greek,
like a villager.
And literally for the first few years of our friendship,
Eldest was not allowed in his house.
Right, right, I was that kid's deal. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. that at all. You got to learn how to deal with it as a kid.
I'm on the outside.
That's the one thing.
I don't take ostracism or rejection personally.
I know what that is.
I was invited to every pizza party.
There in me VIP.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And all the pizza.
Yeah.
And this way you get me to cross. It is weird. Me and son talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Well this is Albanian. I mean he does have a point. Like my family school, but I could see both sides of the issue.
Okay.
Yeah, no, it is fucking wild.
I mean that shit will absolutely fuck you up.
But yeah, what are you gonna do?
It sounds like you're dead set on not working through it.
So hey, whatever.
I am.
I'm pretty good with people, right?
No, no, no, no, you're good.
I'm just saying trust me, there is a couple like that.
Just even when you just said about holidays,
that right there is like,
I know.
That right there is like,
I know what I just did for Easter.
That was so great.
What's that?
Went to an NBA game.
That's my first time doing that.
That's sick, dude.
This is great.
This is a great way to spend Easter.
It really is.
And I do think the secret,
if you don't wanna go to therapy, whatever,
the secret I do think is creating your own
relationship with holidays, right?
Because it's like, when your childhood's fucked up,
it's kinda up to you to like,
okay, well then I'll set up what life is supposed to look like.
It would be nice if we had,
you know, if we had some kind of tradition,
I'd be nice, but when you realize like,
well that's just not in the cards,
fuck it, I'll be like, I like, Bobby's a great resource for that,
Bobby Kelly, because it's like,
he had one of the most fucked up childhoods possible.
Very reminiscent, like while he's in fucking Juvie,
when he's like 11, his mom, kind of the same thing,
had kind of a shit head abusive stepdad,
running around for a while.
And he, his big epiphany was like,
at a certain point you can't stop worrying about your dad
cause he's like, well, I'm the dad now.
It's up to me to fucking figure this shit out.
And he says,
he says that even when that happened to him,
it was like, oh yeah, I decide, you know,
he makes little traditions with his kid.
He decides how they, you know, how they do thing.
He, he hosted Thanksgiving, you know what I mean?
Like, maybe that's the way you defeat your demons
is hosting a nice Thanksgiving one.
So I tried that.
I have tried when I had a nice house.
And, you know, we're doing the family thing,
I was engaged.
Listen to this shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen to this shit.
I don't even want to talk about it.
Well, I just, I realized like, I don't have that giving thing.
Sure. Uh, watching a family come over and just kind of tear you shit up
Right, you know what I mean like now. I'm just noticing like all of the little movements around the house and that wasn't for me
I mean
Then I fucking ripping shit off the wall like one of the things that fucked me up bad as a kid my mom became a hoarder
Right, so our house was bad
You know what I mean smoke cigarettes dude walls are dirty all this stuff like that bad as a kid my mom became a hoarder right so our house was bad you know
to me smoking cigarettes do walls a dirty all this stuff like that so
I'll fill right right the yellow film just imagine those guys coming in the
fuck your mom while you're some fat kid is in the fight just sitting in the
install around a pile of shit that around a bunch of fucking McDonald's
having meals toys from 10 years ago
My mom got sick My mom developed this disease called scleroderma. It was very rare
Only other person that had it in our neighborhood at the time was Bob Sagitt's sister
So this is like 1994 before Sagitt could get the fucking family out of the hood.
That was wild about it.
Like that a bitch.
And I think I look back at this.
This is how my mom's head up.
Good.
This is like your bitch told you have this fatal disease. Yeah.
And someone else who's pretty like attached to someone notable,
just died from it.
There's no court.
Right.
And my mom and Saga's sister were seeing the same specialist
at Pennsylvania Hospital and I was like investigating
this disease.
All the time here.
It's a new wild, dude.
So my mom, she kind of really tapped out,
because they gave her a deficit and they told her $99, you know, it's a wrap.
She never, she persevered, she stood alive to this day, but that's when the hoarding started.
Right, so for me, I'm the absolute opposite.
I'm the extreme.
If something isn't being used in 72 hours, it's going into trash.
You know what I mean?
I want everything nice, clear out of the way
and clean and it made me hyper vigilant.
We're hosting events at my place that I keep,
it's, it's, it's fucks with me, mental.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get that, dude.
I mean, it is like, you do,
sometimes you just can't shake certain things.
I would do barbecues in the park.
There we go.
I used to do big, big barbecues
that whole family.
Yeah, yeah.
You all can come in my house between my side.
Love to have my side, I'm gonna feel you.
We put 300 hours worth of meat on a grill here.
But y'all go home after this.
I got you, no that makes sense.
Well this is great because we got, we got,
but take some questions here and this, I think,
this is nice because we all, we like to have different perspectives
and it is hilarious, you guys could not have more,
like we have the exact mirror opposite childhoods here.
And it's like we got a night,
we got, we're getting it from two different points of view here.
So, and before we do, we like to do like a little plug mid.
So you talked about the podcast a little bit,
no need for apologies, no need for apologies.
No need for apologies, go listen to that,
anything else, you know, follow our friends here
on socials, all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, it's all good if you want to plug that.
I'm Dave Temple on all social media platforms and the podcast is
F.A. Podcast on all social media platforms about every Sunday on YouTube for free come check us out
Yeah, and I'm at the great boy T.H.E.G.R.E.A.T. BL.I. I got it when like Instagram first started
That's why yeah, yeah, so yeah, and
They were on the road all the time will be in a Saratoga Springs
Next week and then will be a
Coming out later mother oh, yeah
So yeah, so there you go great boy on everything we got yeah, we got a fucking hit the road
Next month, so we're pre-recording about okay cool, but yeah comes you mean these guys are fucking hilarious ghost CM live
Follow them listen to the pod and definitely see him
I've got great shit
So eldest why don't we why don't we do some fucking calls here babe?
The curse of calls
Hi, Stavvy. This is Ryan no dumb motherfuckers not playing
Hi, Stavvy. This is Ryan
Love podcast or thing you do
This is Ryan, Love Podcast, everything you do. My question for today was, me and my girlfriend,
together for quite a while, and you know,
throughout the years, you know, always had
to pretty good sex.
Nice.
Recently, I can't last more than three strokes.
Wow, I don't know what's going on.
Recent.
Looking for your advice.
Thanks.
Love you. Keep coming. Whoa. Recently for your advice. Thanks. Love you.
Keep coming.
Well, recently he's been to this girl for a while
and all of a sudden he busts fast.
Yeah.
I wonder what that is.
Do you guys have kids?
Maybe it's your biological clock.
Trying to make sure you nut.
It's like, damn dude, we gotta get his butt out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm firing straight only.
Yeah.
It's like, I'm tired.
I'm tired of ending up on her back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah what is some happened like maybe you're just more comfortable with her now
I don't know that's fucking that's so interesting here is yeah
How many years because that's what I think he's probably comfortable and you get selfish
I know what I want yeah, and you take too long
You don't. Interesting.
Is this ever happened to you guys?
Have you ever had a change in how fast you're not
or any kind of thing in a relationship?
No.
But I do know how to fix it.
And this is something that I learned how to do better.
Well, let's go.
This is perfect.
Do the kids.
You're going to do the dude key.
It's kind of a dude key.
It's kind of.
I mean, it's all going to like it.
I already know I'm going to get so much pushback on it.
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know,
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I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you know, I heard you the base right gotta the base of the shot you're gonna feel it there's a big
big vein you gotta smash you gotta talk to me I know the
vein you're talking with it yeah you're gonna you're gonna
feel you're gonna feel that seeming pushing through trying
it and you're holding it back and it'll hurt so you need to
toast to your back clip. Yeah.
Yeah.
If you feel your skills get out.
I'm going to tell you that your first few times,
it is going to hurt.
What?
That negative association with climaxing will postpone it.
Oh, interesting.
Wow.
Your Pavlov's dog in your brain.
Absolutely.
Into thinking, nutting is bad.
Anybody, if you want to be a goddess in the bedroom,
this trick I promise you, it works.
I forgot where I learned it as a kid,
but I practiced it.
From that white guy that was calling you Shaq.
That's a...
Damn man, let me, let me, that's all I got, man.
That's all I got, man.
Hey, let's, let's, let's, let's,
Damn, let's, let's, let's, let's,
let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, I can tell by your situation
You're gonna need some soft skills
You have to have good dick
You will not have developed the right personality
You're gonna have to fuck your way in here
So this is what you're gonna do
This is a pamphlet on edge
Yeah
God damn There you go Give it a try man Yeah
Right back in let us know how this works out. We do want to know the temple method work for you
This is I've never busted faster in a relationship, but I have there is something to like when I was actually in love with the girl And that that's happened like twice, where it's like some real,
like, and I've really liked people,
but there was one time and literally we broke up like a month,
like, after I finally, I was in this all
and again, off again, relationship,
and finally it felt like things were going good.
And that last month before we broke up, dude,
I swear, like, I was getting harder out of love.
And it was just like, like my dick was literally,
it was like the Grinch's heart.
Okay.
I was in love with my dick got bigger.
Oh, yeah, I guess.
She was literally like making comments like,
what's going on here?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, I don't know, this rock, you know?
And then of course we broke up and fucked me up.
I haven't truly loved the woman since, but.
Wow.
You know, but there are some of that.
There's only a few. was actually girls hip-game
I know
Am I alone with this?
That's how you know you do a good job wow
You keep your eyes you give your sunglasses on to the letter no,
to provide feedback.
And is I in a regular house?
That's good pussy.
What is your name?
Now that's what I call pussy.
You can't buy that for no.
You can't buy that for no.
Fuck.
Alright, so look buddy, we gave you, you know, try the temple method. Let us know how we're try to temple method of all
This is another one big-held
Hey, so I have a brother who is 22 and socially anxious
He was at home their parents or together, but more like roommates and we're grunts shit
My dad's really toxic and
and we're going to shit, my dad's really toxic and, and so you know, but, anyway, when I left,
I was probably getting into martial arts,
but also really toxic stuff, like Andrew Tate,
and all these right-wing Twitter,
like, quote unquote, intellectuals and philosophers.
You know, I disagree with their understandings
of socialism and cultural viewpoint.
Anyway, we talked about, and I tried to be open-minded,
but he was just kind of awkwardly synthesizing
what he's heard, and it was making really weak arguments.
And I just don't think I have the acumen or intuition to realize that these guys are
pohack.
So I want to push him in the correct direction, because he is a sweet and compassionate
kid, and if he is a conservative, so be it.
But what's more important is that I were in the real world to hold isolate himself
further with just new friends and people and women by the way he brings these things
into conversation.
And he's a sweet kid, you know, I realized that he has potential.
But again, I'm just like, worry that this will just make him into a toxic person and
get a loss.
Thanks, dog.
That's a tough one for sure, because I'm very tough.
You know, you get, like, if you're like this, like,
awkward kid and you just see some guy who,
like, that's the problem with these fucking
Andrew take guys and these other, like,
these other fucking, like, TikTok, like,
like, workout, like, guys.
My friends and Andrews and all of them guys.
Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's like,
2 and 11 year old boy
Like they're like if you're a grown man, you're like these guys are fucking stupid as shit
But if you're an 11 year old boy, you're like whoa this guy is he's good at karate
He gets pussy and he has fast cars and you're like I'm listening to him
You know what I'm always last-action hero
And like I mean that is why these people that's what's really saying? Oh yeah, it was last action hero. Yeah, absolutely. And like, I mean, that is why these people,
that's what's really dangerous about these people,
is that like, they are, it's almost like made to apply
to these kids who are, because I mean,
I remember being like, you know, me and L,
this were fucking loose, we didn't get any pussy.
And we're like 12, 13, and it's like,
who did we even look up to, it's kind of interesting
to think about, what were we into
when we were like that young?
I think probably what helped us,
what helped me anyway, as similar to your brother.
I think this, what's good here is like,
I mean, if he's bad, if he's like,
into all this stuff and he wants to be like,
you know, athletic, all this other shit,
I mean, I really do think sports are a really nice, like, saving grace for kids like this.
Like, even if he has to play in a shitty, like, wreck league, or even if he just plays
in, like, with his, with people, like, I would push him towards organized sports, honestly,
because what these guys get right is that, yeah, you want it, when you're a little kid,
you want to be strong, right?
Well, we're all, like, 11, 12.
Absolutely.
You want to have, like, a, you want to be strong, right? Well, we're all like 11, 12, you do. Absolutely. You want to have like a, you want to be,
you idolize masculine stuff.
That's who you want to be.
And for me, I was definitely one of these kids
who I was like a theater little kid.
Okay.
Like, me and I was wearing the fucking school plays
and elementary school.
I was literally like, in elementary school,
I talked my way into MCing the talent show.
Okay.
I didn't want to do the talent show.
I wanted to literally be like,
I've wanted to do comedy since before I even realized it.
You know?
Yeah, absolutely.
I was doing a summer camp.
Yeah, exactly.
And so I had that shit, but like,
when I turned 10, 11, 12,
I remember there being a moment where I was like,
I'm gonna stop being in plays and I'm gonna play sports.
And I think if I hadn't,
if I had that thought process from like art is
literally was like artist gay like that's literally what I thought I was like
I was like our drama teachers gay he was turned out he was straight at like a
gravelly voice but I thought you know he kind of talk like Harvey Firestone
and we're like a dog when you're like a dog who actually I loved which that's the
iron is like I loved I loved uh Mrs.'s the iron, it's like, I loved, I loved, and the Princess Dough Fire,
I like, I like, he was the layers, but like,
when you are kind of in that toxic 10 year old boy,
mind frame, and this is also, you know, 2000, whatever.
Yeah.
If I, that's, I, thinking back on my own development
in this point, and now this never did,
he, what he was a nerd who read books.
I was just like, I went into organized sports
and that did give you a sense of camaraderie.
It gave you like, you had to like, you know,
you had to like, you teammates,
you wanna take that note?
Okay, yeah.
You had teammates, you had like,
you learned about community, you learned about like,
and you made friends in a natural way.
Yeah.
Even if you're not good at it, right?
Like, and it teaches you, like,
if he has a good coach, it teaches you the value of like work hard, improve, get better,
all that stuff. So if he has that in him, I can know because I had that in me, and what
really helped me was playing organized sports. I was in wreck leagues where I was better,
and then I also played in my school leagues where, you know, I was solid. And it's funny
how much, and then I also played in my church league.
I played pickup hoops.
It's funny thinking about how much,
I don't know about you guys,
but for me, sports was so important to me
as in this age range.
And I think it could really help him
get some of that energy out there
as hack is an answer as that is.
It's like, because that's what these guys are providing
for like internet kids, right?
Kids that don't play shit, it's like,
they provide that like, like, again,
the masculine kind of macho kind of like physical outlet,
instead of going and playing sports
or working out or whatever,
or even if you do work out, like,
it's that mind frame.
So, and they have connection to a community with these other little and you take dumb ass
issues.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I think that's like, if he has that in him, I would push him towards something like
that, you know, support it, you know, channel it into something positive, because, you know,
obviously, I never, I never fucking went pro, but like my some great relationships
Started that way like, you know a lot of my good friends and you legitimately learn
Teamwork all that like my kids will play sports for the or like even if I have like nieces nephews like I would push them towards
That kind of shit because it does there is something nice like, a generation that's grows up online.
They want to use their bodies, they want to be like,
you know, thought of as like attractive, whatever.
And it's like, you're gonna have that physical thing
and it's like, I think pushing them towards sports
is like a big, can be an answer towards that.
That's so funny.
I remember I was playing ball to try out
for all the teams and I sprayed my ankle
and then I start break dancing. That's right, awesome.
Weenem off of it too.
This is not a cold turkey thing
where you're just gonna cut off all of the podcasting
and go full sports.
Just slowly introduce him to other things
and allow him to excel in there.
And you'll watch this thing not be as fulfilling and eventually drop
off. You'll hear about it less and less. But you gotta-
Kids go through phases. Yeah, and you can't react when there's still
reminences of this thing that is influencing him heavy right now.
22, you know. I was wearing for Doris.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck you. 22. Oh, I told the kid was like a teenager.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
I think she still sees him as a kid,
which that's the thing I hear.
She still looks at him as her sweet little brother.
You know what I mean?
And he's been having a grown up.
I'm a fuck girl.
And to be in who he's going to be, you know,
because it doesn't sound like she has that much influence.
Oh, 22 is tough.
Yeah, yeah. Go try to be top G and then see what happens
Yeah, that's the thing you kind of got to letting make his own
That's all off that horse. Yeah, so she's getting the martial arts fuck
So he's already kind of doing this shit damn I for some reason I thought he was like 1450 because the way she's describing him
He's you're a sweet boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you don't know that. He might not be. At 22 boys, we get into some shit that knocks
that little sweetness off of us, you know?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
It sucks because he is 22 and he's like,
a few years are just going full on like conservative politics.
Like bringing up on him.
I'm not forcing that.
He's giving table and he's so.
Bigger Jesus Christ.
Yeah, so.
Fuck, that's hard.
That is hard.
Especially when your dad's a piece of shit
and sounds like he is.
Yeah.
You can just tell, like, in her voice,
she's just, like, so big sister,
so, like, smarter than him,
and so, like, sort of herself,
and she's, like, I know he's a retard,
but, like, what can I do to, like,
just, like, steer him away from this shit?
And, you know, she's just, like, sitting there
while he's, like, throwing these points at her
from, like, Andrew Tate, and all these other... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is tough just by
Pairing bullshit. He's heard. I mean look I hate to be this guy to plug the show
But I do feel like the one thing we try and do around here is like say vulgar shit
Understand that guys like saying fucked up thing like there's a like my whole the whole thing
I'm trying to accomplish here
is like, yeah, you can say a fucked up joke
and still be a borderline good person.
Yeah, you can have your friend over
and make fun of his mom for all the crack dick she got
and still be a good guy.
You know, that's kind of what we're trying to do here
because another problem with this conservative shit
and another problem with like,
so if you can get some sleep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Damn.
What?
Fuck.
But I do think, like,
I'm gonna bring that joke back.
That's a good joke.
That's a good joke.
It's a great joke.
Oh.
But I do get it.
I also think some of the like,
like, and we go to, like, people in comedy talking about, you can't say anything anymore. It's like, joke. Oh, shit. But I do get it. I also think some of the like, like, and we go to like people in comedy talking about
you can't say anything anymore.
It's like, that's fucking bullshit.
You can say what you want.
But like there is, I do think some people are attracted to like just saying fucked up shit
for the fuck, like the people who complain about it.
Let's be honest, they're fucking hack and they just want to get a laugh for being either
racist or homophobic or they don't want to say they don't have a job behind
It's not a joke. They want to be shocked. They ain't writing.
But also the other extreme of comedy, I don't find funny either where it's like
two like they're just making good points that you agree with. Oh, yeah, we call it Roth Danieling.
You grab a neat fake pearls and you quiet on stage for four minutes trying to find your
kid the fuck out of here man.
It was an interesting special.
It was shot very nice.
Right, right.
It could have been.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I get it.
No, no, no, but absolutely.
They're like the other extreme of like, you just like it's not it's not fucking appealing to
You know, I mean then to a lot of regular to the especially to a 22 year old that's getting an energy
Tate that's not appealing to them either so it's like I don't know like I you know
I'd like to maybe be in the he'd be in the fucking you know he'd be into the pod
But there's shit out there the problem is though he's 22 and
But there's shit out there. The problem is though, he's 22.
And I hate to be the guy who's like,
he's gotta kind of take his own horse.
Yeah, man, that's my first full of mound do right now.
You guys are like, it's a total of 22.
For the mound do, this is my fuck,
a guy who fall off his horse, right?
But maybe someone open up a nice rehab for podcasts,
listen, isn't it?
Yeah.
Tater tots.
Yeah.
Where everything comes down to a crawl.
I think I think this part thing is still interesting.
I mean, I never really played sports and looking back like,
I'm like, damn, that would have been like a valuable like,
just like experience and learning how to like socialize with people.
I mean, I feel like all the sports you played in a way that like,
set you up nicely for like how to move in comedy because that's what it is
You're like interacting with a bunch of different people from different background totally totally just starting how to relate to them
So that's a great point to the different the diversity of it because it's like sports really is the most like
Like anyone who can do it. Yeah can be on the fucking team
Well, you can be an immigrant you. You can not even speak fucking English.
And like, I mean, it's a little different for us.
We grew up in Baltimore,
so we saw people from different walks of life, whatever.
But like for this guy, if he is like sheltered
and doesn't know like people from other backgrounds,
and yeah, it could be interesting.
Like even just, even a pickup run
in like a fucking gym you meet people.
Well, here's the thing too that sports does for you.
It teaches you how to size up other people.
So like whatever your shortcomings are,
you're gonna have to get over that.
You know what I mean?
Cause you in here, if you're a team,
you don't want your team down.
So let's say you playing basketball
and this guy, he's got a height on you.
Okay, you better figure something else out.
And you know what I mean?
So that's the skill that helps you out in life
where you're less intimidated by people
because you learn how to size shit up.
And it's also, let's be honest, the social lubricant, everyone, most people can talk about sports,
right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to just like, like, believe me, it's a lot better thing to bring
up at a party, talk about the nicks than like how, you know, it's a lot easier to talk about that
than like how fucking trans people are insane. You know what I mean? We're in our emasculating, man.
We're in our last country, don't you think?
Women don't deserve basic rights over their body.
Like, it's a lot better to be like,
hey, you think the judges are gonna get Aaron Rogers?
That's a much better thing.
I can't talk about.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's the thing that's like,
this Andrew Tate shit has become like,
they've become like, you've taken all the worst parts
of nerds and the worst parts of jocks
and mashed them together.
And it's like aggressive misogynistic guys
that don't really know how to talk to women
and they will see them as people,
but they're strong and mad.
You know what I mean?
It's like, and they're like, it's just like, it's bad.
And they're on the computer all the fucking day
and they don't know how to talk to anyone in real life.
It really is fucking horrific.
Like the fact that I didn't realize,
like, Tate Shit started showing up
a lot in my algorithm on YouTube.
And the fact that I was not aware,
like, oh, this guy has been in jail for the past three months,
but for rape.
Every sex trafficking.
It was so much content coming up in the algorithm.
Like this guy was putting shit out every day. You know what I mean? So he's already flooded the internet with so much content coming up in the album. Yeah, it was. I was putting shit out every day.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So he's already flooded the internet with so much content.
And it's so stupid.
Like, what was that video?
Well, this was just talking about chugging water.
Oh, yeah.
He was like, how can you be a man and be thirsty and you sip water?
I'm not proud of the bottle of water.
I'll put the cap on.
He's like, without thirsty, I fucking crush water.
Like, it's like, it's not everything, it's gated drink water.
I'm fucking my smoke drink.
It's gated with sake of water.
That's just like, I'm fucking no ounce.
My fuck is no, they don't have no answers.
It's like, oh, go to the gym, work out, discipline.
It should be like, come on top, G.
Yeah, it's just water.
And the hard thing is, it's like, come on top, G. Yeah. It's just water. And the hard thing
is it's like working out and getting into even martial arts. It's like, it's not bad.
Like physical stuff is good for you. But it's like that combination of this going down
that like, yeah, because you're hitting somebody. Yeah. You're getting some kind of, it is
weird that that's kind of gotten in there. Even like the UFC stuff has a lot. Like I think
I think like a lot of it is fucking, you you know it's cool and it's interesting to watch but there definitely is like a subculture that is like you know it's like
a little too aggressive and like conservative in these like weird like almost like like neo-fascist ways
where it's like yeah what the fuck is going on here I even think like a lot of biches dudes have found
out a way to give them self-colleys flower ear. Yeah. Oh shit. Cosmetic cauliflower.
That's so funny.
That's so funny.
Now you gotta sit on your relapse.
That's so much fun.
That's crazy moving myself cauliflower.
A BBL for dudes.
The cauliflower ear.
Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
Yeah, man.
Hit us with another one big LD
Okay, man, that's fine. Hey, stop
Going in there looking for simulation should be right there
So last year around this time around February
I'm going to need to get a next surgery. It was similar to like a
pacemaker. It would help with nerve pain from a car accident years ago. And the doctor
fucked up and shocked my spinal cord and paralyzed me from the neck down. And I've been
grinding and trying to get better. Yes, it's okay to make fun of it.
It is kind of funny, but it does. So I've gotten my arms back. I've gotten my right leg back.
My left leg's not back. So I'm still in a wheelchair. How the hell do I get back out there?
In the dating world as a single man. Well. It's easy to talk about and people obviously asked you about what happened.
But you're kind of end to that.
Nothing really maturationed man.
The decent looking guy, nothing.
Nothing crazy, nothing bad, nothing good, whatever.
I've done my fair share in the past years.
Did very well with women, but now I'm handicapped,
so it's a big difference.
So what do I do?
A couple of things right off the top of my head.
It's hilarious how much getting pussy means to men.
Absolutely.
It's like
You were paralyzed you got your arms back You're like how am I gonna talk to girls?
You fucking are you get you know how much harder that is?
Uh-huh. I'm paralyzed from the neck down. It's it's done, dude
I'm learning how to play PlayStation with my tongue
I'm not in fun. I'm done
You're a fucking G dude. What the fuck?
I'm feeling back and my toes and also by the way
Sounds like your mouth work, you know what I'm saying you
Right you should be great at eating pussy you think you're probably fucking pushing around your wheelchair with your tongue for a couple months
All you got to do is just position me lady
with your tongue for a couple months. All you got to do is just position me lady.
Yeah.
Carry the toilet chair and lay me something down on the side.
Like a camera.
Yeah.
Got you.
Yeah.
I'll be really stupid.
Bro, bro.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. Like
You didn't get a nice settlement from this cock suck
And that's the thing you're clearly like I don't want to do you I mean me and I recognize the area code So I know what county this is
Tell you something about Delaware County
As long as you got some sort of check coming in these ladies is going
Little chat man, I live in Delaware County for a while. I don't think they're too picky about
Hushin dudes the concerts and everything you know
Girls fucked up happy cats. That's right.
No, I mean, dude, okay, so yeah,
it's like you've already accomplished so much.
And again, I assume you're getting some kind of settlement
here, that would be crazy if you're not.
You did not, yeah, it's a shock to spine.
And you've done so much, dude,
that it's like an inspirational story.
You don't, you're like, it's okay to make fun of it.
That's good, you have a sense of humor about yourself.
You're not, you like, as long as you're ready and fully,
at some point, you're just gonna have to realize
the rehab situation ends and the like,
trying to get better ends and it's like time to live life.
And once you've made that decision,
it's like, you don't feel sorry for yourself.
You see it for what it is, right?
And I think you're already on such a great,
like the fact you got your arms back, you're getting your leg back. Maybe realistically,
the time to worry about fucking isn't yet. Maybe you still want to feel.
For some other lay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why are we stopping at three extremities?
Yeah. Let's get the fourth going.
Oh, the shit back. Before we start doing my fucking.
That's right. That's it. That's it. That's three legs. We're we start doing my fucking diet. Guys, there's three legs.
We're working on the little one first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sounds like your dick works.
That's so funny.
And this is also why it's crazy.
You can't, like, why sex work is criminalized in America.
It's like, this is a perfect situation where like an escort
or like, like, yeah, this guy's like, you know what?
I should have rehab to do.
I can't, I can't focus on like
Dating right now. Yeah, but I'd like some intimacy some companionship
Why the fuck is it illegal in America to like so there's there's people that want to do that work
And they could do it safer and not get murdered all the time and they could have like help guys like this at or other
You know other people in different situations
It's because that really seems like this the here is like, you really just want to get
your dick sucked.
It doesn't sound like you're ready for anything serious.
Which imagine, imagine getting that talk with this from this guy.
He's like, yeah, I'm just trying to kind of keep a cash right now.
After she's like fucking wheeled you to fucking cheesecake factory.
He's trying to get back out there.
No, no, no, no.
You just need clinical.
Oh, man.
You just need some pharmacy plus.
But yeah, the reality is once you are ready to go,
you just gotta treat it like anything,
and here's your dating sucks in general, right?
It's not, don't get too hung up on your situation.
When you have decided you're ready to really give it a shot
and you want this to be a priority for you,
that's just how it goes. You're gonna go on some dates,
some are gonna work, some are not gonna work,
but there's somebody out there like, don't be,
you know, don't be so hard on yourself
and think that this is what's getting in the way,
because I got used for you.
You might have a bad personality too.
Yeah. I mean, it's like,
it's as you talk like that.
And women, by the way, will put up with so much bullshit
if they like you.
That's the thing.
If you're a woman here, it's harder for you, like being,
and if the genders are flipped, like, I'm not saying
there's not men who fuck you.
They're there.
There's men that are fuck you fast
if you're in a wheelchair for your woman.
But are they your husband material?
I don't know about that, right?
So for you, like we are lucky as men
that it's like women really do have a higher capacity
for love and letting shit go.
I do it in big heart.
And so you're fine, bro.
You just gotta believe in yourself
when you're ready to get out there.
And we believe in you.
I'm hoping you got a little check
from the fucking settlement.
That'd be crazy if you didn't don't lie to these women
No, put your chair in the picture
Don't you
Post incident pictures on tender
Post-incident pictures on Tinder. That's right.
Love the make-up decision, man.
That's a damn Apple fuck with you.
Clubs of the picture you and the chair,
and one gonna go well anyway.
So just save yourself that, be honest.
Be up front with it, man.
Be up front.
But do a little trick.
Yeah.
Just like a spin move.
So yeah.
Learn cool moves.
All right, all right, big L, though.
Hey, Bobby Big fan. Um, I have a
relationship question. I was
hoping to get them to put on
from someone like, uh, of your
caliber. Of course. So I have
been doing this girl for a
while now. Um, all the thing
was she, I wasn't exclusive on
my end at first. Just one
that you know, uh, it involved I wasn't exclusive on my end at first. Just on that end.
You know, it involved into exclusivity on her end.
But I was like, she thought I was exclusive on my end.
And, you know, I wasn't, but now I am.
Do I bring that up or do I like, like, how do I approach that subject?
Because I really don't know how to say like, hey, you know we start off casual and became
serious.
I was effectively cheating on you for over a year.
I really appreciate some feedback on this.
Love you.
Okay.
What are you talking about here?
Effective, the word effectively, cheating on you, effectively,
is doing a lot of lifting in that sense.
It's corporate.
Yeah.
It's like, either you were or you weren't motherfucker.
Don't, yeah, he really is giving us jargon right now.
He's like, you know, exclusivity on her end,
but not on mine.
Yeah, yeah.
You this guy, this guy, yeah, I mean,
it's hard for me to not think you suck
by the way you're talking about this.
You're talking like a finance guy.
Like a finance talk, this is a five-die paragraph.
So look, if you ever, like you said you guys were for a year,
she thought you were exclusive and you weren't.
What does that even mean?
How often did you see each other?
Is this somebody who hook up with once a month for a year?
That's a lot different than we saw each other
twice a week for a year.
I thought I had moved in.
And yeah, she was sleeping over and we were,
like you need to, we're not the answer here.
We, you, you, you, you guys calling in for us
to absolve him of his sins.
Yeah.
But what you need to do is really think,
affect, take effectively out of it.
Were you cheating on her?
Did she have, did you ever, did you have a con,
I mean, it sounds like you never had a conversation,
but was your behavior that of somebody who was in a relationship?
Are you going out, are you meeting your friends?
Are you, God forbid, meeting family?
Are you, you know, how serious were you being?
Now look, technically are you okay?
It sounds like technically you are.
Yeah.
But he just got over.
But also, what do you mean she thinks it was exclusive on her end?
How do you know that?
Did she just say, hey, it was really cool how we never fucked anybody else last day.
Like, that's not, there's no way that happens.
Right?
So it's like, how are you coming up with this?
She's laying on a chest one day.
Yeah, yeah.
So cool.
Yeah, it was really cool.
Anyone else would be here.
I'm only fucking you.
I love your heartbeat.
Like, was it the kind of thing where she was like,
do you want to be exclusive and you just play dead
until she didn't ask you?
That's very funny.
You know?
That's exactly what it is.
Like, if you ignored her, like, you know, hints at being exclusive, like, it's like,
let's take a plea.
Honestly, man, did you cheat or didn't you cheat?
And if you cheated, like, what do you mean, how do I approach the subject?
Like, I really don't understand what happened.
That's so funny.
Yeah, and it sounds to me like you just needed to admit it somewhere, which you did it here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think you know, you could probably bury this here.
You know, I don't know what the conversation is that you want to have.
You know what I mean?
Well, because I mean, we've all been there, right, when we're dating someone, like for
the first couple of months, and you, somebody has the, usually the woman, right?
But not always, I don't wanna be sexist here.
Okay.
Somebody has the conversation who,
or someone catches feelings, you know what,
I wouldn't even say usually the woman.
Someone catches feelings and they're like,
the what are we conversation happens,
you know, anywhere from,
if you're very,
if you're really gung-ho about it,
two weeks to like four months in, right?
Rarely is it one year of regular dating.
Now it could be one year of like,
we've all had like hookups that may be evolved
into something and you're like,
hey, why don't we try this, right?
But it doesn't, who, did you have the conversation?
Because if not, it sounds like you were lying to her.
So I don't know, I'm just confused.
Like if she, did you guys ever have a conversation
that was like, okay, this is fun,
we should try being exclusive.
And then you was fun around after.
And then you fucked after,
because then yes, there's no effective,
there's no, there's no smoke screens here,
like you were cheating.
Yeah. But if you didn't, There's no smoke screens here like you were cheating.
But if you didn't, then you probably weren't technically cheating,
but she probably was assuming that you weren't fucking other people.
This is also what I think it might be.
Okay.
Is the condom came off at some point, which usually implies that exclusivity.
Yeah. So he's reaping the benefits.
He's on the most sex. That's called the unveiling. And he knows like.
Yeah. Because you know, once a girl lets you do that. You're not really.
You're never going to go, hey, hey, hey, I'm seeing other people.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We should probably put a little bit here.
Let's just back. This is I'm getting the benefits. It's like wow. Wow. He's like, wow, you've yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and probably put a condom on with you. Yeah. Yeah. So look, either call back and tell us what's going on here
or be honest with yourself.
But if you, if she never brings it up,
like it sounds like you really feel guilty.
It's really what comes out of that.
That is, I'm fatally.
Like, and so if you, if you did,
and you really care about this girl,
and you do want to be so it's when you do want to give this a shot
and you feel guilty,
you should be like,
I mean, have you had the exclusivity conversation?
I just don't get what you're going on here.
Has she brought up exclusivity?
It sounds like yes now.
On her end, that's still very vague.
I know, I don't know what you're talking about, dude,
because I gotta be honest,
it sounds like you were cheating. I'll get a little sexist here. I don't know what you're talking about, dude. Because I gotta be honest, it sounds like you were cheating.
I'll get a little sexist here.
I'll say girls need to understand.
Yeah, oh.
I'll just take.
There you go.
Oh, no!
Yeah!
Yeah.
Girls need to understand, like, if you don't have
to talk about it explicitly, it will not hold up
in the court of law.
Yeah.
So this guy needs to push his guilt down.
If they never talk to him, talk it up to a big misunderstanding.
And look forward to the future.
Now you know you're exclusive and okay, that's fair, but speaking of someone who had
a relationship that went from Onigin off again casual to like serious, you will pay the
reaper at some point.
Like that will come up, something will happen.
And if you're serious about this,
you should clear the air.
Now, if he feels he's done something wrong,
he should clear the air at the beginning of the relationship
because it's either gonna work now
or it won't work.
Oh yeah, you're as crazy to do that without like,
just letting your own guilt eat it.
You were so close.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's kind of impressive at this point kind of impressive that this guy. He's just lying to himself for that
he's so funny too. I think about this I started dating a girl at like the
beginning of the paint like right before the pandemic started yeah I
again it wasn't exclusive it became exclusive during the pandemic
and then when things started to open up the evidence of that non-exclusivity became apparent.
Right. I never forget being out with my girl,
and there was another girl that I was dealing with who was just around.
You know what I mean? Sure.
And she wasn't making a scene or anything,
but afterwards, we're having a conversation and we just like,
yeah, and that was cool and random and such and such and such and such and such and yeah
this person was cool and I casually bring up the person and my girl goes yeah
and you fucked her and I'm like whoa and she's like oh no that was obvious you
know what I mean you can tell by the way that person was in your space and the way
that they respond to you and the way that they were following you around the
room you guys have fucked before so you know it is one of those things where Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like, you sh- This motherfucker effectively, you hit shit out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a girl.
So, Ronan, that's good.
You could have left on her ends and the effectiveness.
That is on these ends.
You could have left that out.
Spectrum shit.
You're trying to mansplain it to us. Yeah, you're a man's plan about you do you could you could have just told us what happens
But you chose not to and that's why you're getting this kind of muddled
But I do think in general your options are push it down if it if you think it won't come up again and it will hold in court. But
I also, I hate to be this guy who's like, to be realistic, you're kind of building your
house on an Indian burial ground. If you do that. So like, figure it, like your choices
are push it down and probably the relationship is doomed or Cut deal with it now before the wall start bleeding deal with it now and it might not survive
But if it does survive. Yes, if it does survive. At least you won't be living in poltergeist
Good good reference. Yeah
All right, you guys have time for one more. What do you say fellas? Hey, I'm gonna do one more more. I gotta pee soon. So yeah
Great episode guys. Thanks for coming more what do you say fellas? Hey, hey, hey. You want more? I got a piece soon, so yeah.
Great episode guys.
Thanks for coming.
Listen to the podcast guys.
No need for apologies here.
No need for apologies.
Hit us with, take us home, Eldis.
Hey, yes, Gaby.
I hope you're doing a lot on tour.
Hope you're getting all the, the pussy you wanted for your entire life.
I've got a nice amount.
Maybe not all of it. I just need a nice amount, maybe not all of that.
I just need a little bit of advice on a friend of mine.
I've got this like girl group I hang out with
consistently, it's like four of us.
You know, I've got to bar and chill like that together.
But there's just like one girl in the group
who is just always trying to start fights
and we'll find literally any fucking reason
to like make everybody upset.
We'll mind you waiting on this.
Yeah, mind you.
We'll be cool.
Our priorities are our lifestyle to hang out with her.
So do you have any advice on how to either get her to stop doing that or just like get her
out of the friend group entirely?
I would really appreciate it.
I think I could run a friend group entirely, I would really appreciate it. Okay, good round of friend group.
Sounds like somebody just turned 24.
That's what this...
That's what this question feels like.
Growing up is so funny.
Yeah, I get rid of this friend.
Yeah, I mean, this is a natural evolution of life.
Yeah.
You are gonna peel off pieces of shit.
Yeah. You were too drunk for the last couple years of your life to realize what a fucking piece of shit this lady was.
So it's starting to dawn on you. And look, that's what it is, man.
It's like how many friends, like me and eldest again, we've been friends our whole lives.
A lot of people have come and gone. A lot of people have been in the like crew that have peeled off,
that have done a fucked up thing
to one of us or try to shady thing here
or started a fight there or a fucking, you know,
just been a bad, proven themselves to be a bad hang.
Yeah.
10 times in a row.
I hate a bad hang.
And you're like, all right.
This is, it's not a fluke.
You're 10 out of 10.
You gotta go.
You gotta get the fuck out here.
We finally hung out sober 10 times in a row
and I finally realized you're a piece of shit
you gotta go.
Yeah.
It's you.
And so, I hate to say it, but it's like,
like you can certainly try if this person
is a close friend of yours,
but it doesn't sound like it feels like.
From your, from your one girl in the group.
Yeah.
It really feels like this is a natural thing
that this bitch is gonna get iced out.
She's gonna meet other train wrecks.
She's possibly gonna become a single absentee
single mother.
Like she's got her past, you've got yours.
Like, all right.
I guarantee you this is the kind of girl
that switches jobs and when you go
Oh, how come you work over there? Oh, you know, they was hating on me over
Or like that you or like all her other friends were crazy.
Or like, you know what I mean?
It's just like, this is somebody that's got,
just, again, I don't know your age, it would have helped us,
but my hunch is this is, you're in that period
after college when you are starting to settle
into who you actually are, and a lot of people
are gonna just go.
And some of it is sad,
like it's hard in America's a tough country
in terms of when people live in the burbs,
like when people, you're more isolated
than you lose friends, but speaking for me,
I live in a big city, all this shit,
it's like, and my job is very social.
Like, I've lost a lot of friends,
but I've also found people
I'm actually compatible with.
And it's like, there is something sad to peeling
some of those people off, but there's something nice
about being like, hey, this is who I actually like
being around.
This is who I want to spend my time with.
And like, yeah, hang out with somebody you hate.
There was so much of that growing up.
We had friends with our teenagers that we dislike.
Yeah, that we saw every day and went to parties with
and we were like, shut up, fucking idiot.
But he was in my life constantly.
That should just happen when you're young.
And the older you get the more you're like,
why am I doing this?
I was just talking about this.
You're my son, your friend.
I'm a neighborhood who I was friends with.
I mean, we were friends.
We got the same tattoo on our arm
We were crew you know to me, but after high school. He just wasn't doing
Anything yeah, and he knew it. Yeah, and he lived across the street from main store in the neighborhood
So this guy would be in front of his house just ride on a basket right right right
So it's like if you're going to the store and you see him he's running right up on you
Yeah, and then like he would he would real
A little bit more than in on people where once he kind of followed you to the store and had a good
Interaction with you and kind of followed you home and figured out where you live. He's done showing up as you do
First thing at the morning. Yo, what's the moves today? Yeah, shit. Are we friends?
Yeah, what's the move he became your friend shit, are we friends? You know the main end. What's the move?
He became your friend, but you slowly realized,
oh, this guy, he has no aspirations
on leaving the block with a neighborhood.
Right, right, right, she showed everybody in here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, certainly there's neighborhood,
like that's thing, that's neighborhood shit, right?
You just have people just because where you grew up.
And yeah, we saw a lot of my friends were like that
when I was younger, right?
And then you go to college,
and then you have your college friends,
because you went through the same,
because you happen to be in the same dorm freshman year,
and those are your friends for the next four years.
And then it's like, and then slowly,
and then it's like, you have your,
so some of them make,
some high school friends make it to college,
and then some college friends make it to adulthood.
And it's like, but a lot of them bleed off.
And it's like, this lady just feels this girl physics is going to bleed off out of your
life.
You might, here's the thing, there's nothing more freeing than when you bring this to the
other people in the group and everyone's on board.
And everyone's like, you're unanimous.
Hey, should we just not invite any of you?
We just create a new group chat. They just move over. New group chat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's what the name of the channel without this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah, just move over.
Yeah, just move over. I'm pretty sure this girl is already
ruining the group chat with her Android phone. Yeah,
I'm bringing bubble bitch. Get this green shit off the green.
Green is right.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
So look, it is thrilling or though, right?
Because it is a little bit like you're doing a coup.
Like you're going to overthrow a dictator.
You just kind of start putting feelers out there.
You maybe just roast her once and you see how hard they laugh.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, that's how it begins.
I feel like this girl is late to things.
So just you don't throw it out there
when all the other girls get their table.
That way it's in person.
Yeah, no CGI.
So did you ever receive the show that you initiated this?
You know what I mean?
Hey, hey, guys.
Hey, pull up a chair.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, no. Actually, we were thinking we're too tired to go to the diner today. Initiated this you know Pull up a chair. Yeah
Oh, yeah, no actually we were thinking we're too tired to go to the diner today
Then text them from your car. You know actually I'm hungry
Yeah, dude it would that we're hurt good or car
Yeah, but this is a mega dress honestly, it's kind this is kind of. This is like watching a baby walk for the first time.
Okay.
Like seeing this question, it's kinda cute.
I'm like, aww, this is the first time
this is happening to her.
Like, yeah, bro.
Yeah, bro.
Honestly, I gotta say, I'm also, now I will also be fair
and highlight my own biases.
Eldis will tell you, I am very pro cutting someone off.
I got the fuck it.
I'll chop someone out of the group fast.
That's right.
That is my style.
But I'm also another thing I'll tell you,
the people that are in,
like those are my fucking guys.
Absolutely.
I'm as loyal as a guest to the like top eight in my life.
But it's like, it is hard to get into like the central group.
And then it's, but it is easy, like when you get a tryout,
if you're being a dumb bitch, you're out.
Yeah.
So that is a little bit of me,
but I also think this is just a general,
this is just a general life thing
where it's like, you start cutting people out
and it feels fucking awesome.
It was good.
You're liking the load.
No, you're not getting, yeah,
no bounces are kicking you out.
You're not having to go back
and get her debit card the next morning.
Like, shit, you're gonna be fine. So good for you. We're rooting for you.
She's in place on Black Dude's hat.
Yeah.
Do you play Slap Ball?
What? What are you guys stopping me?
Yeah, that's so great.
He likes it, what is he talking about?
Awesome.
Yeah, I did.
Fuck.
So yeah, good luck with it.
And look, it's nice.
It's cute that you're growing.
This is honestly growing up.
That's going to do for us folks.
Guys, thank you.
Dave Derek, such a fun episode.
You guys are great.
Joe, so, Joe, so, Joe. Yeah, come back sometime when we're doing our next batch. For sure, we'd love to Derek, such a fun episode. Joe, so Joe, so Joe, so Joe.
Yeah, come back sometime when we're doing our next batch for sure.
We'd love to have you guys back.
Absolutely.
And yeah, listen to the podcast guys, follow our friends here on socials and call 904800
stop if you want to leave a voicemail for the future.
We'll see you next time, guys.
Bye.
I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.
So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able
to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city
with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all
got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my
family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago,
my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my
family. Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification,
And remember, one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with
friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.