Stavvy's World - #38 - Joe List
Episode Date: August 21, 2023Joe List returns to the pod to discuss his new special "Enough for Everybody" out now on Youtube, the moment you realize your family is way poorer then you thought, the not-so-chill side of Walt Whitm...an, what he thought about "Oppenheimer," and much more. Joe and Stav help callers including a woman who is completely fed up with dating, and a man whose wife is regularly flashed by a mentally unstable man. Learn to speak a new language with Babbel! Visit https://www.babbel.com/stavvy to get 55% off your subscription. Watch Joe List's new special "Enough for Everybody" on his Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkE8_bHaXiU Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at patreon.com/stavvysworldÂ
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries.
So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms
and in a part of the city with woods
and walking trails all around.
The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen
where we all got together the day after the wedding
for a big family meal.
This is a cherished memory for my family and me.
And whenever I drive by that location,
it always makes me smile.
Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family
Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb
Welcome everybody to stop these girls. Wow, what an episode we have for you today
And just before we really get things rolling,
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I'll just, you know, I was thinking the other day.
I love, you know what I love?
Mango the fruit.
I love its sweet, its delicious.
And I was eating a piece of mango,
pre-cut from a beautiful market here.
You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets.
Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely.
That was my move.
I would get a little fruit salad.
You know how many times I've gotten sucked off?
Being like, this actually,
one time I don't have to drink that.
I was like, wanna come back for some fruit salad?
And I thought it was smooth.
And then some girl after she fucking was like,
that was so weird.
You asked me to come over for a fruit salad.
I was like, I don't know.
I wasn't drunk, I wasn't drinking at the time.
Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziak.
Well, here's the thing, thank you for bringing me back on point.
Because I was eating the mango,
and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards.
And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard?
You know?
I was like, now that would be something else.
And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game.
You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest.
You know I'm an ED, I've tried them all
from the gas stations to other services. mango Rx now has a new ED
Pilates game changing, okay?
Really?
Taste like mango my friend delicious just like it and they have a nice proprietary because
like I said, I've tried them all out.
They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra
with oxytocin known as the love hormone.
I've never heard of oxytocin before in my life,
but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever.
We're talking, zwing!
You know when they take out a sword and it goes,
zing!
That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom.
It was like unsheathing my hardcock.
It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro.
Shining in the light.
Yes, one little gleam.
One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit.
Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks.
You heard it here first.
I don't know, yeah, because like I said, I've done a bunch of them.
And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow.
They got all kinds of science shit in here.
They're making them taste delicious.
I am so happy.
It was the goal of this podcast.
Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your
dick hard science in the field, right?
People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest.
They have, you know, let's get, can we get, fuck, an idiot.
There you go, sorry.
We tried to give it the applause it deserved,
but some asshole wasn't ready to go.
And look, make America hard again.
I think on what, whatever side of the aisle you're on,
conservative liberal leftist centrist,
you could, we could all use a harder dick.
Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks,
all this division in the world would go away, all this. we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks,
all this division in the world would go away, all this.
I think this is such a good product, Eldis.
I think you might have to change your long standing opinion
on ED, medication in general,
because look, here's the thing about mango orics.
You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal.
Yeah.
All right?
I know I've spoken about it a lot,
but I am excited to try this one.
Yes.
A big part of that is the dissolving factor.
Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend.
The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed.
You've seen me take adibles, though.
That's true.
Just because you wanted a little dummy.
I'm kind of nervous now, because I have so much wine to get high, as well.
I'm saying you take weed adibles. I'm saying you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself, because you want a little dummy I'm so much like why I think I have to get high as well. I've seen you take fiber
Edibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary a momentary snack
I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted to taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango
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That goes double for you, LD.
I can't wait.
I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my
brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put
eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels,
but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking
trails all around.
The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding
for a big family meal.
This is a cherished memory for my family and me.
And whenever I drive
by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to
walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with
friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.
Slash Stovey and get 55% off your subscription at Babel and learn a language. Become a multi-lingual Airbnb. cameras being all over the place. Ad Gio like a cat.
You won't even notice him moving.
He's selling merch and setting up cameras.
We will be the fat rascal through the final leg
of the fat rascal tour kicks off in Cincinnati,
then Columbus, then Cleveland,
then I'm going home to Baltimore.
There's tickets left to one show in Baltimore
that Thursday show, buy him right now.
And then I'm going to Detroit
and Grand Rapids. There's two shows there. We already sold out the first. We added a second
one. Filly. Then we're going to Orlando Tampa, Fort Lauderdale, Milwaukee, Kansas City,
St. Louis. We finally end the tour in my adopted hometown, my second, you know, where I live
now, New York, New York at the Be Theater, first show sold out, second show almost sold out. By those tickets now, we might
have to f around and add a third show who knows. But stovie.com, or I'm sorry, stovie.biz
with the fuck am I talking about, what the f, make a fun little animal sound over that.
Stovie.biz for tickets. And of course, for learning languages, babble.com slash Stavvy.
Now well this, for no reason in particular, I'd like to hear the song again, not because
this is a pre-recorded ad, that's for sure.
Yopaa!
Welcome everybody to Stavvy's World 904 800 stuff.
Call in with solve all your problems
We got a favorite on the show coming back for a second patreon appearance
This guy's cat he's seen me do despicable things folks and for my side for his silence
He asks to be on the podcast whenever he's promoting something
By the way big things happen last time I was people really blew up and that's awesome people
I don't know people people messaged me.
One guy, I bumped into a guy at Starbucks and he was like,
dude, congrats.
And I was like, I was like, what?
What?
He was like, stop roast, congrats.
I was like, oh yeah.
I was submitting for a long time.
I was like, you got to the top of the mountain, baby.
Yeah. You finally made it, man. I'm not gonna let that happen. You're coming to podcast in an apartment where you've had suvlocke and watched NBA games
and just hung out for years.
I know.
I'm not accustomed to you being a mega-star.
Well, it's funny because I did something kick in where I'm like, you know, we're like
growing up and shit,
it's like you think getting on TV or like a big movie,
like something happens and you're like,
oh, I guess I'm successful now,
but really, you know, this just posted TikToks for a year.
And now I got fucking famous.
It's really coming to my head.
I'm like, wow, I guess it's just not glamorous.
Like there was never a moment where I'm getting some
award or anything like that.
It's just my Albanian friend learned to video edit
and then we hired a couple other guys.
And I was just, I was posting TikToks
for my iPhone 8.
Yeah, yeah.
This one, I don't know.
I was just on an iPhone 8 using like a program
we bought from the app store for like the first five months.
You're like on splice.
He didn't learn how to use a computer to edit
for until two months ago.
It's like run away from your parents.
Your parents would hit you and then you'd run away,
hit like, two coke, and some old Jew would grab you
and be like, you wanna make a buck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then there's tape your tits down,
so you look like a 10 year old.
And then you got your Oscar.
And now it's just like a year straight of TikToks.
Now you're like,
if you eat cum for 50 bucks,
you're like,
oh!
Oh!
Just go to the top.
He said it, no, you saw it in his eyes.
He didn't say it, but you could see it, right guys?
And everyone's like, yeah, he's gay.
But anyway, it's a big deal, it's a thrill, and I'm happy to be here. It's crazy, your podcast's like, yeah, he's gay. But anyway, it's a big deal, it's a thrill,
and I'm happy to be here.
It's crazy, like your podcast gets like way more views
than a tonight show set.
Oh, a set maybe, yeah.
But not if Jimmy found's playing beer pong
with fucking Harrison Ford.
Maybe not the TV show, whatever.
But like doing this is big.
Oh, doing a set on Conan.
Oh yeah, that's, yeah.
I know, it is funny how that's all I ever wanted was to do Conan
Yeah, and it was just like you know, no never did it. I did it twice. Nice dude. Now
Congratulations
Now who's on top?
You are man you I'm sorry
you are man you I'm sorry and I show and the tonight you and the other guy I watched them all man I was the British guy the British Gordon and Letterman
one of the straightest men of all time James Gordon Letterman was a show when
before you were born I mean I wanted to do Letterman but I was that was so out
of like you know I was doing open mics at seafood restaurants do Letterman, but that was so out of, like, you know, I was doing open mics at seafood restaurants
when Letterman was on.
At the very end, it was like a couple,
I remember like young-ass young de Stefano did it.
Yeah, he did it before me a few months.
I think Adrian Apollucci did it, like I was like,
oh, these are cool people, like,
that I've, you know, hoped wouldn't show up at the stand
so I could get a guest spot.
Right.
And I sort of know, have done Letterman.
And then it went away.
That was tough, because who had like,
who had like 18 Letterman's?
Nick Griffith?
Yes, Nick Griffith, such a hilarious comic.
And it was like, he had like 18 Letterman's then,
and it's like, well, I guess the most awesome credit
I have is gone now.
Yeah, it's a weird thing.
Oh, Jake Joe Hanson, I did like 45.
Holy shit.
Letterman's, which is crazy.
Yeah.
And I think Griffin did nine or something like that.
45.
45.
I always said that he has like five albums worth of letterman's.
Letterman's.
That's not crazy.
Does he repeat jokes?
I don't know.
That's so funny to be like, well, I did this five years ago on Letterman.
No one, I could probably sneak this in.
There's a new tag now.
I mean, I don't know what he's done.
He did a lot.
But yeah, late night, it's like, well, yeah, who cares.
The important thing is, you have a new special that just came out.
Just came out.
It's three days old.
It's called enough for everybody.
It's my third special in three years.
Is it about your penis?
Enough for everybody enough to go around?
Well, I don't want to give away the end of it,
if I try.
But I do.
The crowd comes up and everyone gets a little suckle.
He's like, come on, Papa Joe's got enough for everybody.
That's the big closer.
I fucked the whole front row.
Man, woman and child, Ben.
Child.
That's just the saying.
That goes our advertising. I'm lucky to be I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying.
I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. Yeah Not for everybody on YouTube and it's the follow up to this year's material which great
You probably haven't seen that yet. Yeah, I've seen it. I hate myself is also out there
Yeah, you're name you're in the special thanks. Oh, thanks, but not the special thanks the regular things
Just the regular thanks and now it's not too late. Maybe I can send me the spelling on your name
I'll just press leave it out this press leave
You ever get that as a kid?
I did, of course.
Of course, I think I get it to you.
Stop had a good one early on that I'm like,
I am so lucky this never caught on.
He would throw out Eldick and in elementary school I remember.
I'm like, wow, have I never get caught in a fire?
Eldick, that is crazy.
Even with you, I forgot about it.
I was like, wow, I'm lucky.
Yeah, I never, come on the middle school, high school.
It's like a Spanish wrestler.
I'll dig, I'll dig.
El Dic.
Yeah, I think honestly, it's because you moved
from middle school.
If you had been around from middle school,
you would have been El Dic for sure.
Yeah, I'm sure they'd come up a lot more.
Well, I was, this is funny to think of now,
but I didn't really curse as a little kid.
I was scared to curse until like, fourth or fifth grade.
Oh, wow.
What a home.
Yeah.
I was like, I don't know.
I was just like, scared to disappoint my mom until like, fourth or fifth grade and then
it was over.
Once I realized like, nothing bad happens if you say, you know, dick or pussy or whatever,
we were off to the races.
But I remember being like, I remember like being in bed thinking about like,
like, tomorrow's the day I curse.
Like, like, psyching myself up in third grade and be like at the playground.
When we have recess, I'm going to say bitch.
Like, I remember like trying to get the nerve up to say bitch.
I was gonna say like, I remember moments where we would walk outside of the school and like
just whisper like fuck to each other.
Like walking back inside the recess or something.
We would like practice.
We would practice cursing to each other.
We would do a whisper thing to open there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and always outside. Yeah. We didn't want to be caught in the we wouldn't curse in course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and always outside. Yeah.
We didn't want to be we didn't want to be caught in the we wouldn't curse in
course. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We stay outside with the breeze.
Yeah.
That's like you say third grade because I remember watching George
Collins special I think it was doing it again or jamming in New York.
One of those two and they had the Aver the whatever you call it the the lead up was
like his old clips from his old special and he had his poem
That I memorized it was rat shit fat shit
69 assholes tied in the knot
Ray lizard shit fuck yeah passes a bit back good
Say that and I would do that in third grade and everyone I was like it was not
Third grade and everyone I was like it was nuts. I heard that you were third grade.
We would have been like,
people went crazy.
I mean, that's when I got my reputation for being like,
like I, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was just,
I don't think I even was like,
oh, this is a George Carlin thing.
I was like, guys, I came up with this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Yeah, it was all, that was, I did love in elementary school where it was like, what? Yeah. Yeah, it was all, that was, I did love in elementary school
where it was like, you could just tell whose parents
just didn't care by who was cursing and who wasn't.
Like there were just like, there were kids in like second
or third grade who were just like saying disgusting things,
talking about, you know, sucking each other, you know,
sucking dick and shit, like calling girls whores
and we were like like I was literally like
scandalized by that behavior that I was like before realizing I'm also poor my mom did a good job
Like hiding that we were trash and I'd be like I can't believe it mommy when I would go home And then it's like oh wait a second. We've been shopping it then I'd say what it literally when it was like
I wanted a specific shoe and
My mom got me the pay less knockoff. Yeah, like I wanted a specific shoe and my mom got me the Payless knockoff.
Like I wanted a specific, what were the skate shoes?
Airwalks or air?
I think they were airwalks.
Oh yeah, airwalks, that was big.
Well, there was some bootleg version of those from Payless
and I got roasted when I went to fourth grade.
They're like, ah, you went to fucking Payless.
And I was like, my mom says they have good shoes
in their cheaper.
They're like fucking pussy.
Your mom got those for, like it was just,
I was digging myself a bigger and bigger hole.
And literally those air walks might have turned it for me
when I was like, wait, I'm fucking poor in trash,
just like all these like white, you know,
all these literally we call them Americans.
We call them, I'm Eddie Connie.
I'm like, I'm just like these dirty Americans.
I'm gonna start saying fuck.
If my mom had got me name brain shoes,
maybe I'm like an honor student.
You'd be a different guy, yeah.
You'd be on a tonight show.
You're an uncoating.
I'm, I'm, do you know the song,
Code of Many Colors by,
Dolly Parton?
No.
I think you might want to put it tonight,
or you might yourself put it on by yourself.
Okay.
Weeping.
That's about her mother, you know,
they didn't, she didn't really, she was poor,
and then they got all these rags,
and she put the rags together
and wore them, and all the kids would make fun of her,
and then her mother was like,
you're richer than all these kids.
Right.
Well, that's not true.
No, no, no, no, just fucking white trash, for sure.
Yeah.
Good thing, God, you have those big ass titties, or else? At least in songs, no songs no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Jell-Ain sucks. Yeah, what's the bodyguard song?
So I always love you.
Yeah, no, they're bangers.
I'm sorry, Dolly.
She's unbelievable.
She's the best.
And I'm sorry to come out against the fat-titted community.
I'm usually a steadfast supporter, so I never want to.
I retract a meeting.
I recant what I just said about Dolly Parton.
Did Dolly always have those big ass titties like I feel like she
Must be a pioneer for unapologetically large tits
Cuz I see my videos of her from the 60s or 70s and like she's like a cute young girl
I think she a big-ass tits. Yeah, let's look up young Dolly pardon
I think she's always a big can she's famous for her surgery. She embraced her plastic surgery and jokes about it
Which is rare, I think.
That's the way to do it.
I mean, those are some big ass natural titties, dude.
Yeah.
Go to that yellow one.
What are you doing?
It's amazing.
Once in a lifetime.
You know who she kind of looks like?
Jack K.
From fucking Jack K.
The black like sitcom actress.
She has a similar smile.
You know what I'm saying?
Jack K.
I don't know Jack? Okay.
I don't know, Jack.
Jack, two E's, I think.
Oh, no, no, there she is.
Yeah, keep going down.
There's Jack K.
Yeah.
Jack K.
She kind of looks like Dolly Porridge.
Oh, I know that actor.
Yeah, no, she's great.
She's from Porridge.
She's very funny.
No, no, no, that's why.
She was...
She's the mom from Sister Sister.
She's not curved, that's right.
In TNT and Tamara.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. Yeah, she's definitely done from sister sister. She's a curb that in TNT mayor. Yeah, yeah, maybe yeah, she's definitely done something on curb
But yeah, she was she was on sister sister whatever how do we get to Jack K
I want to back to Dally. Yeah, I'm sorry, but they have a fuck young Jack. They have a similar smile
That was the second one in as the hottest one. Yeah, she looks awesome
But yeah, her titties are big. I said always had big tips and then when she was getting older
She's like, you know what? Let's supersize these fuckers. Yeah, those are some nice fat tits man
I don't know what you're on about oldest all right. Take it back
pardon
I've been I've been crap damn that it we got to get our hands on that playboy
We got together we got to get her on the show. Yeah, I would love to have her on the show
I'm telling you code of many colors. It's gonna really touch her. It's gonna really make you cry.
By the way, I didn't realize,
I mean, we weren't as poor as you.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, we had two generations in the country before.
Yeah.
But I remember my buddy coming over to my parents house
and then later being like, yeah, you know,
you're like, I'm white trash, you're white trash,
and being like incensed. You were pissed off. And he was like, well, you know, you're like, I'm white trash, you're white trash, and being like incensed.
You were pissed off.
And he was like, well, you have a broken down car
in your driveway.
Yeah, yeah.
There was like a rolled up carpet that was like,
in our backyard that had like grown in.
Yeah.
And he's like, yeah, you have that.
And he's like, you're wearing like bad jeans.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, oh.
I was like, oh, geez.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's always a moment when you find out you're poor,
and the longer you can go, the better for you, I think.
Of course, without being self-conscious,
but it helps that everyone else,
like no one in our school had any,
at our elementary school had any money.
It was, everything was bullshit.
Yeah.
Everyone left.
And then, because in Baltimore,
I mean, I'm sure you guys did a good job
of probably like legislating it in Boston
or just not living around them.
But in Baltimore, anyone who had like money
and they were just like, ah,
I'd rather put my kids in Catholic school,
which just meant like, I don't want them going
to public schools with black people.
You know what I mean?
And so these schools weren't better,
but it's like pretty much everyone who had
any kind of like money
on, like, and they had all these like,
they set up a whole corner of Baltimore
that was like technically the city,
so you were from Baltimore city,
but it was these insanely expensive like 13,000,
like when I was going to middle school,
they were $13,000 a year from middle school.
Wow.
This is fucking, you know, know, 25 years ago, whatever.
So, but yeah, so in Greek town,
the South East Boston.
The richest kid I remember,
there was this kid who's like family,
always got like WrestleMania's on the paper.
Oh, dude, if you get a poor paper views, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He had like Furbies and shit when they were at lunch.
Oh, he just, what's his name?
Uh, Mr. F, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Furbie?
Mr. Furbie himself. Every time I went there, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a state Republican congressman in like Virginia or some weird way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I might tell the story before.
It's really quite charming and sweet,
but also hilariously embarrassing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was dating, I'm from Whitman, Massachusetts,
which is the birthplace of the Chakraschukuki
and also the used car capital of Massachusetts.
It's like, I think there's like 20 used car places
in a 4.2 square mile.
Wow, nice per capita.
Look at that. Yeah. So. N, nice per capita. Look at that.
Yeah.
So, named after renowned pedophile Walt Whitman.
Is he a pedophile?
Isn't he?
I don't know.
That's a builder.
He's a baby.
I mean, he had.
For someone who's not sure.
He definitely had many Ode's teenage boys, young, young, old, old boys.
Oh, I don't know.
Look at Walt Whitman, like, pedophile, both.
No kidding.
I'm not usually into poetry.
I think it's like literally idolized by Mambla.
Like, it's one of the first things on their website.
No kidding.
Like a Walt Whitman pedophile.
And we'll see, I'm sorry, go on Joe, we'll, you know,
so you're from-
A pedophile.
Over in the-
Walt Whitman's boys.
Yeah, Walt Whitman was boys, wow.
In spontaneous me, women confides in his poems
or of the privacy of the night and of men like me.
Okay, picks-
Wow, there you go.
This book is nothing more than a bizarre tribute
to the pedophile poet Walt Whitman.
Walt Whitman, Namblo.
Damn.
Man boy lovers.
Walt Whitman and Bill Duckett.
Man boy lovers.
No kidding. Well, this first of all, you got Nambloett, man boy lovers. No kidding.
Well, first of all, you got an amblem on my fucking internet.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, come on.
Keep scroll down.
Bill Duckett's relationship to what women can be glimpsed
in the photograph of the two taken together
around 18A.
So what an easy man.
Yeah, women like to sit for photographs,
but in almost all of his poses, he's on stage, okay.
The sexual aura of the Whitman Duckett photograph
comes through despite the studio trappings.
Okay, so they're basically just saying,
like, check it out, what women fuck this little kid?
I feel like he was very like,
he just had the very ancient Greek mentality. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Teach him verse and he's just sucking his dear sons at dick. We both we boys at a quatt club and W.
Made us a present of a handsome set of quotes for pitching. I don't know what quotes is a gamer sampling horseshoes. Oh horseshoes. Oh, so he's getting boys toys
He's the original Michael Jackson. I'm not a word, I've got a little road.
He said a road.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Neither man nor boy disputes for about five years.
For about five years, go up all this.
Whitman keeps close track of the boy in his notebooks.
They were nearly inseparable in 1885,
particularly after September 5th, when 15th,
when Whitman's friends bought him a horse and buggy
They would go out on drives every afternoon. This man is getting roadhead from a child in between writing his fucking shit about nature and how beautiful it is
Anyway, all right, so anyway another yeah dig into some of his poems and eldest while Joe tells his story about being pouring in a
Petophile Massachusetts
Why don't you find some of his poems about boys?
So you're in the used car cap. Oh, man Whitman very, you know, blue collar town
Which just was just home to me and I started dating this this girl from Denver
Who I was very sweet and whatever we fell in love and she came to visit
my family.
How did you know how, what do you mean you started dating her in Denver?
Well she's from Denver, I met her here.
You met her in New York?
Yeah, I see, I see, okay.
But I met her with Soda who's also from Denver.
And who is trash?
And who is trash from Aurora?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she's from Cherry Creek and he was like, fuck that chick, he's like, she's not about
trouble, Cherry Creek is really, I never be a man at him. Be a man. Who cares if she's from, Todd and she was like, fuck that chick. He's like, she's not about trouble. Cherry Creek is, I never be a man at him.
Be a man like, who cares if she's from?
Todd and she's laughing at my job.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's like, I'm telling you,
they're all pieces of shit.
Wow.
And I thought it was weird.
Anyways, I just ignored that and then she came to Whitman.
And I was like, you wanna see the biggest house
I've ever seen, the best house?
Wadie is seeing this house and I'm like, building it up.
It's in Whitman.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The house probably cost $110,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. see this house, and I'm building it up, it's in Whitman. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The house probably cost 110,000 dollars.
I drove to it and I'm like, look at this house.
Look at Laura, you ever seen like that?
It actually had a wrap around porch and two layers
before I was sitting there.
And I clocked her reaction as weird.
She was like, yeah, it was science,
she was kidding, but you could see I wasn't.
That was Thanksgiving.
Then I went to her house for Christmas.
She lived next to Joe Sackick, the captain of the Colorado
Appalachian.
And her best friend is John Always daughter.
We literally went to John Always house and next to Joe Sackick's house.
Like her house was better than that house.
And I've never felt more humiliated like with a month long delay. And you were an adult too. Oh, I was like 24 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, as a little ass kid. And that's just was, you got shook of that opinion in the most embarrassing way possible.
Yeah.
Where you're like, oh, this actually sucks.
Well, this was also before I ever like,
opened Met Louis or opened for,
you didn't know anybody.
And I just was like, I'd been to like,
DePaulo's house in Westchester,
which was very nice.
But like, I had never been around any wealth.
Right, right, right.
And then I remember like, driving into her house
and being like, oh, yeah.
That's embarrassing.
What was your family, like what did they do?
Do you remember?
I don't know what her family does.
I think her dad was some kind of business.
Yeah, I don't actually know.
Yeah.
But yeah, they did very well.
And they were very nice people.
They were like assholes or snobs or anything.
Yeah.
But it was just one of those things I could feel her being like yeah, man
What nice house what kind of trash dick have I led into my pussy?
Anyway, I want to come get some tequitos for dinner
Mom made her specialty and it's fucking
Stake comes with American cheese
Well, I also do remember going to her house and having like a six pack of like bush light.
And I bought a box of craft mac and cheese
to have her mother make.
And looking like you were just like,
you gotta get out of this.
And I think you brought a craft.
I'm not kidding.
You were like,
you fixed it some for me babe.
I'm not joking.
I'm exact, I remember going from house to house
looking at the Christmas lights. Cause it's all all the people things and I had in a pot
I was in the back seat with a pot of mac and cheese and I think real I realized later
They must have been like you you can't be with this man. It was like a fucking Disney movie
Like you can't marry this fucking idiot. You're eating a fucking pot of cheese. Yes
And so awesome bushlight. Oh, it was bad.
I look back and I'm just really fucking humiliated.
Yeah, yeah, but hey, at least you,
it's kind of nice that you didn't know
to feel that way at the time.
You know what I mean?
Adorable.
By the way, this liquid death, which we love,
liquid death, somebody dropped it,
and I couldn't, like how it opened.
I need like a, you need like a pen or a marker.
Eldis, for our guest, and while, while,
J-
AAH!
Eldis, why don't you read this for the people?
Why don't you have you found a nice passage?
It's pretty long, I'm sorry, it's not that pet-a-feel like,
but it's gay.
Okay, okay.
It's like, it's like, it's kinda here, like, that's right.
That's it.
Alright, just give us some highlights then,
while, did you fix it by
way? Yeah, what a guy.
Or you get all you reached. So yours.
All right, let's do a close reading. Basically, the swing of this poem, when I heard at the
close of the day, he's like, you know, when people went when just highlight a couple gay
lines for us, we can move on. The one I love most by sleeping by me under the same cover in the cool night and the stillness and the auto moon beams
The face his face was inclined toward his face and his arm lay lightly around my breast and that right and that night
I was happy. Okay. Okay. Nice. A great little image of you know, and that's a child he's talking about is something we don't know yet
But we don't know but I'm gonna say yeah.
We're gonna say on the brink of 18 or something.
Bare something that ballpark.
Well look, this is the 1800s.
Yeah, things are different.
Why do they think like Romeo and Juliet,
I know they were earlier than the 1800s,
but they were like eight and seven or something like that.
Julia was four and a half.
Romeo was a 38 year old man, but they had a real connection.
I think they legitimately were like 12, 13.
Yeah, 13.
13, man, as soon as you look back in the day,
it was like, you could start fucking, you know,
and these people, like they're basically animals back then.
They're animals in like capes and jewels and shit.
Yeah.
But the second you could fuck, they just did.
Yeah, what was the girl gonna do after 13 back then?
Yeah, you were a grown up at 13.
Imagine being like, you know,
imagine being a kid that got pubes late
when he was like 13 back then.
You could like, dine a battle with a fucking hairless dick.
You could be some surf that's like,
and conscripted into the army into the, in the army.
The ages back there, like, just wild, whatever one looks like.
There's like a photo of Al Capone when he was 40, that he looks 75.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's his name? Richard Castiano, who plays Clemenza in the Godfather,
is literally like 38 years old.
Like, Paul, Paul Clemenza, the Godfather.
I think he's 38, 39.
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
Yeah, yeah, no, they look horrible.
I mean, the cast of...
Like, I said, like, he's in his 30s.
The cast of...
I mean, yeah, the cast of cheers,
I just saw something where I was like,
Frazier is like 29 in cheers.
It's fucking weird, dude.
Yeah, we're looking useful.
Wait, this guy's in his 30s?
Yeah, I can see that. I can see that, I in his 30s? Yeah, I can see that.
That's a bad idea.
That's up.
Fuckin' quiet down with your shoulder hair over there, motherfucker.
Don't fucking, don't be snipin' on Eldest Finally Got The Courage to Wear a Tank Top Day, motherfucker.
Yeah, I did, I did realize I pulled up a guy that looks awfully similar to this.
I don't know, I think this guy looks pretty good all things considered.
If I were him, maybe I'd grow my hair out, maybe do a little mustache to kinda...
Probably a bad pick on my part.
This is worse than my...
Is this the biggest house you've ever seen. That's right. Yeah, Clemens looks pretty good.
That's the point you were making, right, Joe?
It's crazy how much more youthful people were in the 70s.
No one did get this fat though in the 70s.
It was like, you look at John Belushi,
and it was like, you see him,
and he was like a guy who I would kill to be in that shape.
Oh yeah.
He was like the fattest guy of all time.
No, I don't know.
Laurel and Hardy, he wasn't that fat.
Do you know what, even George Costanza in the 90s,
there's like a million fattos.
He was a fattos.
He was straight up not fat.
Yeah, exactly.
Like by today's standards, he is not fat.
No, he looks pretty good.
Like he's shirtless.
Yeah.
There's no like fucking like-
He's got little titties, very little titties.
Yeah.
Well, what can you do?
We're all getting worse. Yeah, who cares? Laurel, Laurel. Yeah, Well, what can you do? We're all getting worse than any guy.
Who cares?
Laurel.
Yeah, I mean, he's pretty fat, but that's, you know, the thirties.
Yeah, I mean, I would love to be Laurel.
Or I guess Hardy is the fat one or Laurel.
I think Hardy is the fat one.
Hardy is the fat one, I believe.
Should be Hardy.
Yeah, the name is Hardy.
Hardy, tack.
Hello folks.
Little and hardy, that's your dick's name
and my dick's name, Eldis.
Oh, too soon.
Where did you get little from Laurel?
Start with an L, ends with an L sound.
Shut the fuck up.
Meet your own mic for five minutes.
Put yourself in time out, motherfucker. Yeah.
Um, yeah, Joe, I don't know if you noticed that Patrick Suesius on my tank top. I love
that chair. And you have a story about your mom wanting to fuck Patrick. Yeah, from watching
that. I was dirty dancing. I do remember watching that point break. Still to this day. Oh,
point break was to, I think I referenced it in the joke. Yeah, you do, you do. My dad was at home point,
you do, you do, you do, you do, you do, you do.
I was like, that's the tag, yeah.
That was mom in the house.
Yeah, so much special issue of material.
Yeah.
On YouTube right now.
Yeah.
No, he is hot, but my mother's still,
even after that joke, if you bring him up, she'll go,
mm.
She's just, mm.
Like, it's just like straight up,
she's like straight up like cucking my dad with swasey. It's horrible, I feel terrible.
And Keanu, nothing, not me.
Keanu's a piece of, there's a lot of stuff to jack off to as a, you know, middle age woman
in that movie.
I jerked off to Laurie Petty when I was like, I was really into Laurie Petty.
When she's putting the pants on with the towel, that was like a big deal to me.
Tank, she's also tank girl, right?
Yeah. Yeah. But when she was, even though he's deal to me. Tank, she's also tank girl, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
But when she was, even on the other one,
I think she's hot.
She's so fucking hot.
And she's, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's incredible in point break.
I've argued with Norman about this.
He doesn't see it.
He doesn't think she's hot?
Well, now you get some photos of her.
She looks like, no, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
But, I mean, those eyes.
She's got those weird eyes and her voice is,
God, someone who's just strange.
Someone who's strange and hot is better than conventional and hot.
Yeah.
Because it's like mesmerizing.
She's sure, that opens shirt and she's teaching
how to serve.
Yeah, point breaks awesome.
Sexy movie.
It's a hot movie.
Very, very movie.
It's one of the best movies are like,
where even the main actors kind of want to fuck each other.
You know what I mean?
Like, Yanu and Swazie and this one,
that's the main romance.
It's like how he, how he does,
like at the end of the, if at the very end,
instead of shooting each other,
they started fucking each other in the ass,
I'd believe it.
It would work.
It would literally work.
It would work.
If like, if like,
Pacino kills the near, like,
fucks him in the ass and then kills him,
it would be like, yeah, that makes sense.
The most unrealistic part of that movie
is when they're playing a bunch of guys
in their 30s and 40s playing full contact football
on the beat.
With like offensive lines and stuff.
And then Lori Petty's in the mix.
Yeah.
Like, what?
These guys are like, complete psychopaths,
all muscled out and they're just like,
yeah, I will just let her play.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, fuck contacting each other.
She's, you know, a small, a shifty back, speed back.
I guess so.
You know, a very weird football scene,
the new top, you see the new top gun?
I did, yes.
Where they had, they're playing double football.
There's two quarter bet, you didn't like the new top gun?
No, I thought it was ridiculous.
I was the only guy that didn't like it.
I don't know.
I thought it was good, but not great.
No, it was fine.
Fucking silly, but silly.
I don't want to lose everybody.
Go watch my special.
Yeah, I really like it.
Whatever you like, I also like it.
Have you seen Oppenheimer?
I just saw it, yeah.
Which is like Oppenheimer.
It was all right.
I thought it was okay.
I thought the middle hour was like a masterpiece and then with you
Yeah, and then we just so we did Barbie and Oppenheimer back to back
Well, you can't I haven't seen Barbie yet. I'm gonna see it tomorrow and came and I think but you can't
Tap the screen at the movie theater so when they test the ball
I was like I was just Luke Moaness and I was like this is fucking amazing
Yeah, I felt like proud to be an American
Like fuck your bitch Luke Moaness and I was like, this is fucking amazing. I felt like proud to be an American. Yeah, like fuck Japan.
Yeah, I voted for the public.
I was like, this is my mate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was hugging cops and everything.
He's always too.
Yeah, and I was like, this is unbelievable.
And I thought the movie was over.
Yeah.
And then the driving plot is, can he keep a security code?
No, security clear.
I don't care.
I don't give a fucking off.
The fuck do I care?
Well, and then all of a sudden, it just, you know, it turned into like, the last hour of the movie turned into,
now Robert Downey Jr.'s the villain?
I thought he was just like a device.
And it was like, how did he become the villain?
He's just some guy.
Yeah.
It was kind of, I had some problems with it,
but I also would have liked to see Oppa and I
would be more of a dickhead,
because they built him up like a dickhead,
or they said he was.
Yeah.
But he didn't do anything that bad except, cock all of his friends.
But in the movies, that's cool.
Yeah.
Like maybe Nolan thought, like, oh, these moral people, they'll know that, fuck, your
friends' wives is wrong.
But like, in a movie, the guy built the bomb and got pussy.
That's cool.
A nerd that gets pussy.
Right.
And it's, you know, we're getting to see
Florence Pugh's tits.
They were awesome, she was cool.
You know, we're not gonna be mad at a guy
for fucking a hot girl.
That makes you cool in movie logic.
And then let's be honest, life.
Unless you ruin someone's life.
Now I love the tits and that was being on the tits.
And I thought Damon was fun.
I thought it was, Damon was good.
Yeah. I got a little distracted with Josh Peck being there
Who's Josh Peck? He's I guess you don't use Josh Hartnett. No, no Josh
What the fuck is name Drake and Josh? Oh?
Yeah, yeah, he was a little I mean he's he was in some like yeah Josh Peck this guy
He was in some like Disney thing.
He used to be this kid.
Yeah, if you're in your mid-30s,
you know this guy's the fat kid
from a Disney channel show.
And so it was just so weird to see him have
this little minor role.
But I thought the safty brother was good.
And I mean, pretty much everyone was good.
And I liked Hartnet actually.
I thought Hartnet was actually perfectly cast
as like,
kind of a conservative, but not really.
You know what I mean?
Like a scientist, but he's like,
he's got those like conservative good looks
who's like, stop with all this comedy bullshit,
Oppenheimer.
Like was being a communist supposed to be bad?
Was that supposed to make us think
Oppenheimer was bad?
I don't think so.
Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, they were trying, that's, I'm not saying that was the plot.
No, no, no.
Within the plot, but I mean for the viewing audience.
Because they did this whole thing about like,
Oh, Oppenheimer is saying, he's smart,
but he's a fucking piece of shit.
Yeah, yeah.
And he didn't really feel like a piece of shit.
No, he seemed quite likeable.
Also, I think Jews is the only race you can have played
by someone clearly not Jewish.
Like he just has like crystal clear blue eyes like the most Irish eyes.
But that's like, I mean, I know.
I'm not offended, but it's just a little weird, they had a weird.
And we got a bomb, Japan, and you just had Josh Hartnet with like,
Scott St. Laugh like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They didn't put a big fucking nose on Murphy. So.
They're like, no, it's not realistic.
Let's get a witch's nose.
And let's go to party.
Let's run to party city.
We put a couple horns on them.
Yeah.
Yes, that is interesting that you kind of get a pass.
Yeah.
You could pretty much be anyone and portray,
you know, dark, these songs you have dark hair. Yeah, dark like you could pretty much be anyone and portray Yeah, dark each song you have dark hair dark early here, but no it's it's a fun movie and
The buildup yeah, it was really something I also thought it was a little unnecessarily confusing. They didn't put the years in
Yeah, it was only later that I was like oh that was 1954 the only years I was sure of was when they were like okay
The Nazis are in polaroid
Okay, I got it right for 40 but I also realized I'm stupid and I was like,
oh, Hitler killed himself like pretty early into the,
like there's a little chunk of time after Hitler killed himself
where the war kept going.
Oh yeah, because there is something where it's like,
because that's a big turning point of the movie too.
It's like, hey, that fucking German pussy off
themselves, we don't need the bomb anymore.
And they're like, nah, nah, nah, we need the fucking bomb.
Did you know, I was just watching the documentary
on CNN about Nixon.
And there's a couple of them.
It's actually on HBO Max now,
but there's also an HBO one called Nixon by Nixon.
It's just his recordings,
because he decided to record everything.
Oh yeah, he said some awesome stuff.
He's with Kiss and Jerry, and he's like,
can't we drop the nuclear bomb? And Kiss and just like, that feels a little much. and he's like, can't we drop the nuclear bomb?
And Kissinger's like, that feels a little much
and he's like, oh, think big Henry.
Yeah.
And you guys, you keep worrying about the civilians.
I'm not worried about the goddamn civilians.
It's like, next and wanted to drop the fucking H-bomb
on Vietnam.
Yeah.
Imagine Henry Kiss would be like,
let's take it down a notch.
For me, these are too many war crimes. Imagine Henry Kisser be like, let's take it down a notch.
For me, these are too many war crimes.
Now, let's illegally bomb Cambodia for no reason.
He's like, all right, all right, all right, all right,
that's fair, that's a nice middle ground.
And then he's also in there, he's like,
you can't trust a Jew.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Kisser is Jewish.
And then they have the, when they,
he's supposed to have a peace treaty with Vietnam,
there's another audio clip where he's like,
we threw the best party the White House has ever seen.
Negro girls kissing me on the face.
You've never seen anything like it.
He's like, I just saw the Negro girls staring at me.
He's like, this never been anything like it.
He's like, you can't believe it.
It's crazy, and it's like recording.
I'm not even joking.
I know. Well, there's ever been anything like it. He's like, you can't believe it. It's crazy. And it's like recording. I'm not even joking.
I know.
Well, there's some great, his recording's great.
There's a great LBJ recording about how his dick is too big for his pants or something.
Oh, that's good.
It's literally, you can find it and play it.
Try and find that.
And by the way, others looked up Hitler's death date April 30th, 1945.
Okay.
So we went on for a little bit.
Wait, who was it?
Who's the dick talk?
LBJ.
LBJ. LBJ.
There's also a great video of Bobby Kennedy
talking to Governor Wallace.
And Wallace is just, he's just using the N word
like as you would buy people.
And he's like these N words,
they can't give him any power.
He's like, they can't just run a town.
And Bobby Kennedy doesn't correct them, but he's like, no, no, they can't give him any power. He's like, they can't just run a town, and Bobby Kennedy doesn't correct him,
but he's like, no, no, they can't.
He's like, I'm telling you,
which I understand in the time,
but wasn't worth trying to cruise.
Just so funny, he's like, I'm not even gonna touch this.
We're gonna pass on that.
He's like, sure, but I'm telling you,
I think they could run some air.
I think they could.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They might be able to pull it off.
Yeah, why don't you, yeah, play this, play yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, before. Two or three inches of stuff left back in there so I can take them up. I've
very ten to fifteen pounds a month. So, leaving me at least two and a half
inches of backwagon, well amount of take them up, I put it, make these a half
inch, they're in the waste, make the pockets at least an inch longer. Okay,
what was going on? My money and my knife everything fall out we're just
okay hello hello
the pockets when you sit down in the chair
the knife and your money comes out so I need it at least another inch in the pockets
yeah now another thing that crutch down where you're not saying is always a little too tight.
So when you make them up, give me the eats that I can get out there because they cut me.
They're just like riding a wire fence.
These are almost the best that I've had anywhere in the United States.
But when I gave them a little weight late they cut me under there so leave me you never
do have much margin there but see if you can't leave me about it the knees from
the one of the separate ends round under my back to my bum hole
bum hole so I can write it out there if I need to
there's anyway that's fine you just. He's also got another quote about how stockings
ruined finger fucking.
LBJ used to get pussy, man.
I just saw in the Google search,
he nicknamed his penis jumbo.
How do you know?
Well, that would be Jay.
Yeah, the American presidential penis,
nicknamed the jumbo.
He also kind of like
he
if you see picture from like
because after he decides not to run again
that motherfucker
kind of like
he grew his hair out
he was like going it's weird look up like very old lbj
uh... lbj old retina yeah
yeah look at him do he put it looks like grandma
uh...
he must have just been like, damn, I killed.
He looks like the door of Kennedy.
Yeah, he really does.
He really does.
I am like God, God, like I.
It's just a way that even presidents,
when they retire, they're like, fuck it,
then I'm growing my hair out.
He looks awesome in there.
He looks like Jimmy Buffett for real, right?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
What do you think it'll be, Jay? Civil Rights Act, all real, right? Yeah, dude.
What do you think it'll be Jay?
Civil Rights Act, all that good stuff.
Yeah, I think he was a very, yeah, he was an incredibly
impressive president who fully, it just goes to show you
what happens when a guy understands how to use the
legislature, and it's like he just would muscle shit
through, and he would just like literally put his,
like he would literally just like
I think he would he used to have meetings in like a sauna
To literally intimidate people with how big his dick was right?
He would have like meetings in the pool and then like in the sauna and he would just like stand like he would stand right up on you
Yeah, he's he's fucking sick and you know probably didn't have anything to do with killing Kennedy, but if he did, that's kind of cool.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not good, but it's cool if you did.
Yeah.
I feel like he didn't.
But who knows, man?
Yeah, you never know.
You never know.
Boy, you're getting on the RFK train, huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that, I mean, that guy, RFK is like,
if somebody killed, if the CIA killed your uncle,
you're allowed to believe anything,
any crazy bullshit you want.
It's kind of what I think.
I guess he said his dad and uncle.
His dad, wait, which Bobby can?
Bobby, yeah.
He says the CIA killed both of them.
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, the CIA kills your dad and uncle.
It's like, you get to say whatever you want
about Chinese and Jewish people, right? I'm not voting for you for sure. Yeah, yeah, he kills your dad and uncle. It's like, you get to say whatever you want about Chinese and Jewish people.
Right.
I'm not voting for you for president,
but you get a pass on conspiracy theories.
If probably both your dad and uncle were killed
by their government,
and he was the president and running for president.
You think the CIA killed the Kennedy's?
I think some real fucked up happen for sure.
All right.
Yeah.
That's a fun one to just kind of dip into.
Yeah, yeah, I love a dip.
Yeah.
I mean JFK, one of my favorite films of all time.
Oh, yeah, that one's awesome.
Because you never been fucked in the ass.
Kevin Bacon, best performance.
You look like a man, Mr. Garrison.
Unbelievable. Great film. Pesci's awesome in Mr. Garrison. Unbelievable. Great, great film.
Pesci's awesome in that.
Everyone's in there.
Tyler Jones, Frank Whaley, John Candy.
I might have to throw it.
Oh yeah, John Candy.
Yeah.
I just watched that.
It's awesome.
His movies are like music videos or something
where you could kind of like,
I watched that movie over the course of like three
different days, like an hour at a time.
And I feel like you can just watch it in the background, but you still just know exactly what's going on when you jump back in.
It's amazing. Wayne Knight is in it and his name is Numa. Numa Numa.
Isn't that weird? And then they spoof JFK on-size.
That's right. Isn't that weird? That is very weird.
And then what's your toes, you know, who fucking Jackie from Roseanne?
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. Why can't I think of her name right now? I know her so well, though. It is very weird. And then what's their toes, you know, who fucking Jackie from Roseanne?
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.
Why can't I think of her in name right now?
I know, I know.
I know, though.
The show just kinda looks like she's drowning.
Lori Mitchell.
Yeah.
Lori Mecca.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hate myself.
That's okay.
Yeah.
And behind her.
And behind yourself.
Tommy Lee Jones.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everybody's in there.
Gary Oldman.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
I did like, another thing with Oppenheimer
that was so funny is when they like,
they dropped Kennedy's name,
like it was a new character.
Marvel character.
Oh yeah, I was like,
I was like,
I'm a joke.
Like it was like,
it literally something, it was weird
because it felt like he did treat Oppenheimer,
he used the couple of tricks he used on the prestige
and then the dark night.
Like it felt a little at times comic book-y.
Well, they deliver that line,
like we're also supposed to be like this,
oh!
Yeah.
And also they could have left it at
some young junior senator from Boston.
Like to me, it's like, yeah, we got it.
Like everyone's got to get it, it's gonna be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy,
and we're here with him. Yeah, yeah. And also yeah. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Ever hear of a blitz.
Yeah, yeah.
And also, I keep seeing people be like that on Twitter,
that last line, that last moment, the ending,
that Nolan ending.
But it wasn't that meaningful to me
because 80 years of fact, he's like, remember we said,
we might have just started a thing
that's gonna end the world, I believe we did.
Right.
And I'm not saying nuclear holocaust is off the menu,
we could all still die of that.
But it's like 80 years has passed.
Yeah, yeah.
We don't have nuclear holocaust.
It's not really on Oppenheimer at this point.
Right, right, right.
Someone else would have said,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would have had to have happened in 1957.
And yeah, to have been like, whoa.
And in a weird way, he was hoping that like,
you know, he was like, well, maybe known we'll fight ever again. And it's like, that definitely hasn been like, whoa. And in a weird way, he was hoping that like, you know, he was like, well, maybe no one will fight
ever again.
And it's like, that definitely hasn't happened,
but yeah, it hasn't been a nuclear holocaust, you're right.
No one fucking launched nukes.
It's like, you know, Indian, Pakistan, and have them,
like pointed at each other.
It's just like, we survived the Cold War, all that shit.
I like the ver, you know, I like the stuff
where it was like, he's old to shit
and finally getting a medal of honor. But anyway, we don't have to, I have some problems with it, but we can talk, I like the stuff where it was like, he's old to shit and finally getting a medal of honor.
But anyway, we don't have to-
I have some problems with it, but we can talk,
I have a couple more problems with it, but we can tell,
you know, the good people,
we'll put some description, go see Oppenheimer.
I'm sure everyone will see it by then.
You're right, it actually one of the few movies
where everyone has seen probably-
Yeah, it's probably-
It was good, it was fun.
Oppenheimer.
A fuck, I had something I wanted to ask you, but I don't remember now anymore. Fuck, I bet it was good. It was fun. Hoppingheimer. I had something I wanted to ask you,
but I don't remember now anymore.
Fuck, I bet it was good.
It was so fucking good, dude.
I'll be Jay.
Well, I'm not a crook.
You know, Kissinger,
another guy that proves karma's not real,
just gets to live forever.
He's alive.
He's alive still, dude.
Really? Dude, he looks horrible. It's so
funny. Look at a big fucking fat old. Justin Jiren chaining those guys. Bulls just. Yeah.
Yeah. And and Kissinger apparently got a lot of pussy. No kidding. I know. You know it's
crazy. He's a hundred years old. He's fucking a hundred years old dude. You know it's crazy.
He is in that the famous Nixon speech to his staff, you know that famous speech, which is a beautiful speech.
You see Ben Stein is there.
He's like, he's, and he's trying to speak you,
he was a speech writer.
He's a speech writer and he's, they're crying.
Yeah.
But Nixon's speech to his staff is like, it's like Twitter.
He's like, if people hate you, it's no big deal
until you hate them, then you destroy yourself.
It's like, it's like internet trolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about them. It's like when you get mad hate them, then you destroy yourself. It's like internet trolls.
Yeah, don't worry about them.
It's like when you get mad at them, that's the thing.
Meanwhile, I was like, yeah, he was trying
to fix an election.
You know what I mean?
It's like, it's not like, hey, don't worry what they say.
It's what's important.
You know, it's like, yeah, they were criminals
in his White House.
I love that he's like, you guys won't have Nixon
to kick around anymore.
I feel like this. Well, you guys won't have Nixon to kick around anymore. Like this.
Well, you are like fucking like bugging and off.
It's like, it's not like the media.
He's like, you media, you sons of bitches, you're like, I mean, this is really wild what
you got to go down.
You're trying to drop a nuclear bomb on you.
You're trying to, yeah, you're just trying to bomb Vietnam.
And also, the funniest thing about that is like, he was crushing that election.
He didn't need to cheat. Right, right. He just was pathological with it
Only master everyone talks about masters being racist in this horrible place, especially you
Stay that carried my government in 72. I think I like me now respect. Yeah, baby. Yeah, there's that story
You've really story about John learning where a pair he you know, he thought my government was gonna win for sure
Which is because he's like, you know a guy who's everything he's ever wanted
has gone right.
He goes on the pulse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's like, oh, he's good.
And then I heard a really weird story on, like,
I don't know, a documentary or something
where he was so distraught, he just found the woman
and fucked her.
Nice.
And it's like, he just like found the woman outside,
brought her in a hotel and fucked her.
And it's like, they were kind of glossing over that.
It was like, that's not rape
I mean, I know he's John Lennon, but you feel comfortable sharing that anecdote in a documentary
It is funny how much his son looks exactly like him and he is also half Japanese
This is a good episode. We went deep on Oppenheimer and then like 70s politics. That's what you get here in Stabby's role.
It's unpredictable folks.
But here's the thing.
Now we get after we kind of taught the people something,
you know, while women pedophile.
Yes.
LBJ, huge penis.
I have a big family and they're spread around
multiple countries.
So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms
and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge
kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a
cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me
smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped
by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.
Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification,
get an Airbnb.
Speak again. Huge pain in this. Great politics. Henry Kiss is your
God pussy. We're kind of, this is basically an APUS history course. And now we're going
to transition to an AP psychology course and we're gonna solve everyone's
problem I don't feel I love solving let's do it eldest hit us with a fucking
question baby boy
savvy what's going on man
uh... just a little predicament my girl
won't
duck my dick he says he's done it like once would be doing and her gag reflex is super sensitive right so yeah
uh...
uh...
for you
fine doing you bitch my man
that that that that that that
new term for this
genzy when you claim you don't know to do something to get out of it
i think it's a new buzzed genzy
i don't know this about weaponized ignorance or something like that. Okay. It's called something like that
Well, listen, yeah, I don't know how we're not weaponizing not sucking dick around here
This truly is that's a crazy move. I'm sorry first of all, okay
I mean I all standard question do you eat pussy?
Because if you're eating pussy
standard question, do you eat pussy? Because if you're eating pussy, she's got no
like the stand on here.
But if you're not, and now some girls will be like,
I don't like, there's a lot of people,
when I was younger, right?
Like I feel like as you get older,
people stop being self-conscious,
but some girls like self-conscious about their pussy's.
So like, why don't you go down on me?
And they're like, well, if you're not going down on me,
I'm not sucking dick.
And then it's like this weird.
But buddy, you know, a relationship is all about, you know, setting your boundaries in
a healthy way, you know, saying what you need.
And frankly, if you need to get your dick sucked, that's a valid concern.
Is everything else good with your relationship?
Because if, you know, if it's not,
if it is, then you have something to think about.
If there's even one, I would have a hair trigger
if someone's not sucking dick.
I'd be like, you didn't get me a water.
It's over.
You know what I mean?
You're already, basically you're already playing with like,
you're the little Mario, if you're not sucking dick
in a relationship, you're the little Mario.
You're not the big Mario with a mushroom. You're definitely not the fire balls. If you suck awesome dick, you're not sucking dick in a relationship, you're the little Mario. You're not the big Mario with a mushroom.
You're definitely not the fireballs.
If you suck awesome dick, you're a freak.
You're the fireballs Mario and the Tanuki shoot Mario
all in one.
You have to get, you have Bowser has to hit you
four times for you to die.
But if you're not second dick, you're little Mario.
A Koopa, a stray Koopa glance will kill you
in my relationship if you're not second dick.
I also wanna do have sex a lot because like my wife, I'm married.
You're married, right?
Yeah, so I expect a child.
I can get a bloat if I really ask and go, hey, and she, my wife's very good.
She's like, you know what, you're due.
It's been a while.
Right, right, right, right.
I don't need to get blown that off.
If I'm having sex, you know what I mean?
You put on an outfit, you fucking ever call your dad's name.
You make it up in the legs.
So if everything's going great and you're getting laid, you know,
but Patrice had a great joke.
Remember his bit about his girl didn't want to suck him off,
but then she gets mad if I cheat.
And he's like, so you have just decided for me.
I don't get my favorite thing anymore.
He's like, how is that fair?
He's like, let me, you have to, one of the other.
You have to suck me off, you have to let me go get my dick sucks.
I just can't lose all of my life.
The number one thing I want.
Hey, listen, I fully agree.
Yeah.
I'm actually not with you here, Joe.
I kind of would like to get my dick, I don't have to get my dick sucked in every instance of sex, but I'd like to get as hard as
I don't
I don't think for five blow jobs a week. I'm just saying if I'm gonna fuck I'd like my dick popped in there
Just for a little hi-hi you do I hear you not the completion, but just as a little pep
Yeah, you know, let's get everything as hard as possible, You know, once I'm in the pussy, I'm good,
but it's almost like a, you know.
A token of appreciation.
Exactly.
How you how you doing?
And by the way, I'm eating pussy pretty much every time.
Right.
Now if I'm in a relationship again, you're like,
you're in a relationship, you're just kind of like,
you know, you're rolling over, you might knock one out
before work.
But if I'm just, if I'm trying to,
if it's like, I've gotten drinks with someone
or they're just coming over and we're gonna hang out,
I'm eating some pussy, I'm getting my dick sucked,
I'm having the whole, but I'm also kind of a glutton
in everything.
The way I like, it's like basically what I'm talking about
is I love an appetizer with every meal.
And that's what I see.
I like fries on the side, I like a,
so I like a little blow job.
And then you eat a little pussy, finger a butt,
get your butt tickled, whatever it is,
get your nuts sucked, and then we fuck.
I'm talking to a guy that's not in a long
return relationship here.
You're right.
I mean, this guy, like, it's something
he's in a long term, you can't be doing a 45 minute
try everything, buffed out.
No, not every time, but he's saying she just will not
suck. You gotta have one of those a week,
and he's not even sound, he doesn't sound old, you just sound like he's saying she just will not so you got to have one of those a week May and he's not even sound weak. He doesn't sound old
You know, I'm sure he's married. He sounds like a young guy what it sounds like to me is someone who hasn't got a
New young people and maybe his girl now look maybe she'll never suck dick
But there's a little there's a little same thing with guys that don't eat pussy. It's like grow up
There's a little bit was like just grow up suck a little dick the adult pussy
Yes, it's not you know it doesn't taste as good as a fucking blowpop
It tastes like I'm tastes like meat and maybe your dick's not clean
Can you do something to clean up your dick but like it's something?
Yeah, you know what? Yeah, the issue I have is she doesn't know what she's what she would be doing
I mean that's where I don't apply your term. I'm not gonna do it myself.
It's very weaponized ignorance.
That's the term I know.
I like that.
I don't know how to do it.
And you're like, well, why don't you fucking learn?
You can watch a video, you can Google.
Or how about this practice?
Practice.
On my couple different.
Yeah, yeah.
So I go off my friend until you're ready.
And I'm not all that difficult.
Pretty straightforward.
And the gag reflex too,
it's like you don't have to go that deep to get a blow.
No, you don't.
Just go, give it a little, pop, pop, pop.
Yeah.
A little jerk and so on.
You could really do a lot with the head
and the jack-off motion.
If you need, Eldis will teach your girlfriend
how to suck dick.
He's got plenty of experience.
Yeah, I'll have her put a strap on.
I'll show her exactly what I would do.
We offer that service to Patreon,
$20 a month Patreon subscribers.
Once a year, Elvis will suck off your girlfriend
with a strap on of you provided.
We're not breaking the bank on a strap on,
but a non-toxic strap on,
Elvis will put on a strawberry flavored condom on it and show your girlfriend how to suck dick.
Yeah, at Eldest Fest.
We need our own fucking festival.
And we're gonna call it Eldest Fest.
And they'll be the eldest issue girl how to suck dick moves.
This all day, here's the icing.
Fuck. Like you hanging there Here's what I say.
Oh, fuck.
Like you hanging there?
Yeah, how about you?
Yeah, I'm good, man.
Okay, guys, don't throw fuck for the last time.
Don't throw fuck eldest.
Okay, he'll give you the thumbs up.
So yeah, I don't know.
Now, okay, let's give him some advice here.
Cause I mean, but you're right, in a long term,
like you're married, you're in a groove.
It's like a blowjob is a little bit more
of a special occasion thing.
But don't they sound young to you?
I mean, he sounds kind of young to me.
I think they're young.
I think if a girl says I have a gag reflex,
so I'm not sucking dick, it's like,
come on.
What am I, a fucking baby? My dick is not sucking dick. It's like, come on. What am I, a fucking baby?
I'm my dick is small.
Yeah, that's a thing.
I don't think my dick is ever a fucking gag reflex risk.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I think you should be like,
like if you're not eating pussy, eat pussy.
If your dick is dirty, clean your dick.
Basically, don't give her any outs.
And also be like, hey, look, I've actually,
I've said this before, when I've dated people sometimes,
I've had a conversation where I'm like,
I saw the writing on the wall where somebody
I was dating wanted to like, all right,
we're out of the like honeymoon phase.
I'm gonna stop blowing you and I'm just like,
you're not.
Look, I'm out here eating pussy,
I got a crick in my neck and I'm powering through it.
You got to suck me off a little bit.
And you don't have to, and a lot of the sticking point
is usually come in the mouth.
You know?
Oh, that's a sticky point.
Yeah.
You don't got a bust in the mouth.
I'm not an animal.
If you don't like now some or big fans,
and that's a cool girlfriend to have.
That's the best. That's one of the best a cool girlfriend to have. That's the best.
That's one of the best styles of girlfriend to have.
But if you're not, I'm not, I'm no, I'm no anima.
I'm sure you're fine.
Oh yeah, I'll bust wherever.
Or I don't even have to, you can, you know,
so it can be the intro to sex, but I think it's a little,
my real situation is it's a little early
to be cutting off head.
And if they're not down, you know,
I, from my perspective, you have to kind of,
everything is pros and cons,
you have to kind of list it out,
but no head is like three cons.
It takes three pros to cancel out that many cons.
Am I in my opinion?
Take that fucking bitch to the curb. Amen. Amen, eldest.
You said it, brother. Next question. Good luck, buddy. of some advice. There's a call in desperation. 30 years old. I got my career going. I got
a home, got my dogs. Nice. You know, I think, like, I'm in a place to really just like date somebody,
like normal for what? Somebody's stable. I'm not asking for a time.
I keep dating these dudes that like
need the deep like a therapy to
me.
I really try not to find you guys like
I literally just went out with a therapist
He's a a licensed therapist
Take those great we're having a good time
We are fucking and he needs to stop and he's crying
We are fucking and he needs to stop and look at crying Damn dude
That sucks pause this how does this happen like how this is a real blow for us is a pro therapy podcast
She's talking about a therapist. That's just a fucking pussy
So I come well you can't bust you know, I mean you're you're crying in the middle of sex
And then some guy has you have to go help someone else's problems.
That's a tough L for us.
That's tough for us.
We are a pro therapy,
but just like everything else,
some therapist are not that good at their job.
Obviously, you know, everyone, yeah.
That's my Alan, our therapist.
Yeah, okay, so you got sad while you're fucking.
That's not crying, we're about to come.
But let's finish it off, sorry, Eld.
And sadly, this is the first time that's happened.
I tend to find these really broken news.
Oh, no.
And I really need to get away from it.
I'm trying to protect my peace, but I'm protecting my peace
at the point where I might need to be as actual.
And you know, that's so weird. We got some joy to give to the world.
If you have any advice on how to proceed and stop having these encounters, encounters that really are hilarious stories, but like the hers.
They're not good for for my mental health.
Appreciate any and all my lovey guys.
That's so interesting because I've never thought of this
from the flip side, from like the girls perspective,
because like if a girl starts crying,
you're like, oh my God, like what the fuck is going on?
It's one of the saddest things possible.
A guy starts crying, they're exactly like, I'm like, I'm thinking, I'm like, come on, dude, Oh my God, like what the fuck is going on? It's one of the saddest things possible. And guys starts going there, exactly.
So I'm like, I'm thinking, I'm like, come on, dude.
Fuck him.
But I do get emotional.
And you start crying.
I mean, I don't start crying.
I'm not a fucking bitch, but I can sit.
You're very vulnerable.
Sure.
That's true.
You're very vulnerable.
And sometimes, I get a weird, intrusive thought.
I start thinking about other stuff. You guys, and those fucking ass a weird, intrusive thought. I start thinking about other stuff.
You guys, you guys fucking ass.
Yeah, I think about it.
You're like, what if there's a man's ass?
That would be so much better.
What if a man's dick was in my mouth, stuff like that?
Yeah, just really young men.
Yeah.
Sit, men.
Guys, what if the lacrosse team came through
and just fucked my ass, put one of those big,
goli sticks in my ass and then started playing catch with it
While it was inside of me that kind of stuff, right? But yeah, yeah, I mean I
get emotional I mean
Everything's gotta be a punchline with you. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.
I'm trying to help a lady out here.
Hahaha.
Maybe it's her though, maybe it's you.
Awesome.
Multiple, you're making multiple people cry during sex.
Yeah.
Does your pussy, it sounds like you have bad pussy.
Sometimes I, but someone's got such bad pussy, you start crying.
You're like, I've wasted a nut on this.
This hurts.
It's loose and it hurts somehow, and it's dry and big.
Yeah, do you have a big dry?
Oh, loose pussy.
Maybe that's part of it.
I would start crying if I took a nice dick pill
dealing with that dick pill headache.
I've wasted a whole dick pill on a loose big pussy.
I feel bad for my. sounds like she might be interested.
It sounds like she's trying to see if you'll...
I probably would fuck her, yeah.
As to be a good friend.
She sounds hot.
She sounds like she got a hot voice.
Yeah, very sexy.
Okay, but yes, you actually are, so I'm sorry to,
you know, to accuse you of being a closet at home
as sexual when you're opening up about sex.
No, it's fine.
No. it's fine
What's your men on that wrist motion? El this on
That's what's good. Yeah
But yes, I guess I could.
I guess I've never cried. Insects, I'm just like, I'm so in the zone.
I'm like, this fucking rocks.
It's the one time I don't have to think.
And I'm just like, I'm trying to bust.
That's all I'm trying to do, you know?
But definitely, I've probably,
not to get me wrong, maybe something hit me a day later from an encounter
where I got bummed out and I started creaking
or maybe not crying with being like,
damn, I shouldn't have fucked her.
Or, you know, something gotten said.
Sure.
But during, you know, I guess I could,
I absolutely see it, especially who knows what kind of,
you know, trauma people have around sex,
all this kind of stuff.
But your apps, you hit on something where it's like,
if this is happening to you over and over again,
you're doing something to kind of get,
you know, maybe it's your circle,
maybe it's, you know, where you're dating,
you know what I mean,
maybe it's like, are you still,
are you going around all the same?
I feel like we had a question,
kind of, we had a question on a different episode
where someone was talking about how
guys just aren't hitting on her anymore, but she's only going out in like a very insular
Brooklyn scene or whatever.
So you might need to get away from your normal types of guys that you're hooking up with,
go see, we said it on that episode,
but it's like, go to a different style of place.
You know what I mean, maybe check out Harlem, for example.
I don't think any of those fellows are gonna be
shedding any tears, you know.
They're not gonna be crying or sticking around.
You have a cat, stuff like that, you know.
You know, they'll be like, shoo!
Yeah, they might say stuff like that,
but, you know, and that's just one example.
I assume you don't live in Harlem.
I wasn't saying, you know, any type of guy.
I'm just gonna go to a different neighborhood
and fuck whoever happens to be there.
But the Greek guy.
Come to a story.
Yeah, oh, absolutely, yeah.
Eastern Europeans fresh off the boat.
They are crying, they're actually
could tug on their shoulder hair.
Look at what Eldest has going on.
You could clasp onto that shit
while he's really giving it to you.
Not Eldest.
This feels awesome.
I was walking outside.
I was like, whoa, my shoulder hair feels awesome.
Welcome to the Wind Army. Welcome to Tanktop top island eldest. It's nice to have you
Nice just a nice bush on your shoulder
It's so fucked up and I've had it like what since high school or you have yeah, no you've had it just fucking like
It's great probably you put a little lid on the top of his shoulder, zoom in.
You wouldn't be able to tell.
You wouldn't be able to tell it wasn't a pussy.
But yeah, I think you need to get out of your dating,
like whatever pattern you're in.
And the irony is, I would say go to a therapist about this.
Because I think like, I do think therapy is important
when you have a specific thing you want to work on
And this is one of those things like breaking this pattern of like I keep attracting these
Types of guys that are too emotional trying to trauma bond probably it sounds like a little bit
Maybe your dates are a little too out in the open. I think you know
It sounds like you attract or you go after pretty emotionally vulnerable guys.
It's weird to tell someone to be like,
why don't you try dating someone who's emotionally
unavailable, you know what I mean?
But like, it does sound like you have to
oscillate a little bit towards that
instead of like these very open, very open to therapy.
Go date a construction worker.
Go date a lot, you know what I mean?
Like some Irish.
So he go date an Irish, go date a bloated drunk.
But also maybe you could open yourself up to
consoling this man.
Maybe that's what you need is somebody, you know,
instead of just laughing at him and saying,
what a dork, this is silly.
Maybe you know, maybe you could console him
and you could connect on a deep level.
Get yourself a nice soy boy that cries.
I don't think she wants that though.
It sounds like she's done a little too much of that.
That's my read on it, right?
Where she's like, I'm ready to,
but I guess that's true.
Think about it.
Don't make this necessarily a deal breaker,
but I also think, that's why I say
go date a couple other styles of guys.
Because it's like, maybe you find out that, yeah,
you know what, I should have been controlling these soy boys.
I'm a soy girl.
These are my guys, but I think you have to go do a little taste of everything before you
know what's up.
And that's part of dating too, is like seeing what could different kinds of people that
you might be.
You don't even have to fuck all these people obviously, but just like, you could if you're
cool, but like, you could just go out on a date, see if you have any chemistry with like
someone from a different background, different, you know, just different than the guys you're into.
If you're dating in the same scene, get somewhere else.
Go to a different part of the city, swipe different, take some chances on a couple swipes.
I feel like women say they can't find a normal guy too. It's like, okay, well, you gotta ask yourself like what you want out of like dating, you know?
Are you trying to settle down?
Is she feeling like fed up or restless?
Cause she's like, what did she say her age?
She's like 30.
She says her life is pretty,
basically the conceit is her life's finally pretty good.
She's in a place where she can date
and feel good about herself,
but she keeps attracting very,
almost too emotionally open guys or therapists work and everyone cries and look
in this hypothetical we've ruled out that your pussy is not so bad that it makes them cry
but that you know it's a possibility so I think it's important to add to
that women some people think 30 is old you're not old 30. 30 is very, my wife and I, she was 39, we got married.
She's 75 now, we're about to have a kid.
And it's like 30, I think in this day and age,
because of cultural pressure, you feel.
What we all just talking about,
how everyone looked older.
Yeah.
If you look at a 30 year old from when you were growing up,
they looked old.
Yes.
We are a little bit more youthful.
And also the way our lives go where it's like,
no one has a career, no, like exactly.
She just settled in.
Yeah.
And that's something that used to happen to you
when you were like 24.
Where it's like, you know what I mean?
Like, she's just feeling good.
So yeah, don't feel, don't be uptight about that aspect of it.
I'm just saying, go, you know, dip your pussy
in some different waters.
Yeah, so I'm saying.
And don't, yeah, don't feel pressure
Don't feel for yourself suck a couple different styles of dick
Uh-huh, get another one out. There's get another one going you mother fucking another get another dick like you like
You fucking queer
Nice man, give me a pound on the back end. Yeah, bro. He's gonna take that from him. Oh, this guy loves come
I have a problem.
I'm just going to sound kind of fake, but I promise it's not.
Down the street, somewhere I live in a little neighborhood.
Down the street, there's a home for folks who are kind of in between the government, you know, like health
care systems and kind of on their own.
And in one of these houses, there's a man who's probably in his 40s, he's like a chubby
black dude.
And he waits in his either his driveway or in his upstairs window for women to walk by
and he says, hello lady, look at what I have for you
and then he exposes himself to them.
Okay.
He's done this to my wife.
Oh no, I mean, it's bad either way.
I find myself in a dilemma.
Sure.
He is obviously mentally unwell, but he's like showing this
guy to people who want to buy. And that he shouldn't write. Obviously I don't want to go
beat this dude up. Yeah, you can dress, get by the way. You know, kind of the normal responses somebody else is doing that shit. So like how does one deal with this?
Please help me deal with
This this cop showing man. Thank you Scott. Love you
He's gonna go beat up a fucking insane guy flashes his cock at his wife. Yeah, look. I don't know how many more
She's got in her before she goes and sucks it
I mean also a pretty, I mean it is a pretty fun way to show someone your dick. Hello,
look what I've got for you. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know what to do. How would you
respond to someone show a guy who, he says he's mentally unwell, lives in government assisted housing, and he shows, he works in his driveway or the window.
It also feels like, so, he has a house or it's like government housing, or is there a front desk person?
You can be like, hey, this guy's showing everyone his car.
Yeah, I can't really tell.
I know what I would do.
I would make a feature film with this guy.
Hahaha.
I would love to have him on the podcast.
If he shows your wife is cock one more time,
can you ask him if he'll come and do stop his world?
Yeah, I don't know.
Why would you react in real?
Let's say someone here in Astoria,
there's a Chubby Black 40 year old man
showing your pregnant wife is God.
I mean, honestly, if this was happening to my wife,
I mean, we have, I think we would laugh about it
a lot, like this is crazy.
My wife is pretty, I mean, my wife is born in the 70s.
She's pretty like hardcore.
She's seen many men masturbating to her.
It's just like, it's crazy.
But I don't know.
I think I would either take the wrong,
different direction, or I would get friends.
We'd like, check this out.
I would get all my lady friends together
and be like, watch, you're gonna shit.
This is like, I told you.
Yeah.
You've got to have seen a dick.
It's like, you've already,
it's like, you can't get wetter than wet.
Yeah.
Once you've seen the dick.
The scene is dick.
No more damage.
It could touch you though, that's the damage.
But he's up in the second floor I thought.
Sometimes it's on the driveway.
Oh, okay, that's a little more threatening.
I was picturing the sidecock.
What are you gonna do?
He kind of kind of, he charged that to the game.
You live in a big city in my opinion.
Here's something I would do.
I would videotape his cock.
I would just have it. Just proof.
And just be like, we got you stop. If you really wanted to, you just see how you reacts. Maybe
he starts jacking off. I think you just kind of got a, unless this guy just, unless this guy
like becomes more than like, like he's coming, kind of coming at it, is like, you show my girl your cock, I'm gonna fuck you up,
which hilarious, that's not how that goes, right?
Like it's usually insane people that show women their cocks
and you don't usually fuck them up,
you're usually like, all right, they probably smell too bad
that you don't wanna touch them,
they're showing cock publicly.
But yeah, if you think he's mentally unwell,
then what, you're gonna go fight this guy?
Unless this guy, unless this ratchets up at all,
you kind of have to let it go.
And then I'm not really, you know, I don't like the,
I don't, you know, Joe will disagree.
I know you'd love to call the cops for anything.
They're perfect arbiters of justice.
That's right.
I don't really like getting a cop involved in a situation like this because this guy who knows could end up dead,
right Joe?
Yeah.
Yep.
Yes, he could be one of the couple people
here that has the hands of the boys.
But if it really gets worse than that,
you just gotta have to call the cops, unfortunately. Or like if he lives in some kind of public housing thing
or like, you know, you say it's some kind of government thing,
like is there someone you could be like,
hey, the guy in 3B is showing his cock to everyone.
And they could be like, oh, you know,
give him extra pills or whatever the fuck.
So you're gonna have to just kind of take this, I think.
Get your girl some pepper spray just to be safe.
But I feel like this kind of crazy guy, like, you know,
he's not actually gonna do shit.
He's just showing his cock off.
I think he's got a nut.
You never, you know, he's the other thing.
This guy might have an awesome dick.
And he might be pissed off. Like what if the wife,'t he's the other thing this guy might have an awesome dick Yeah, he might be pissed off. Yeah, like what if the white after after he showed the wife or his girlfriend
After that black guy showed his girlfriend his cock. She like
Stopped coming with sex with him anymore like she was just like
His was so much better. It looked so much better. Maybe that's part of the problem. Yeah he showing all, is he, is he, is your dick now?
Kinda can't measure up to this guy's fucking hard ass, awesome, chocolate dick.
Get her to fuck the guy, just rip the bandaid off.
Yeah, that's fun.
And then you put it in the mud and then you can put it in the mud.
That's exactly right.
Because once your biggest fear, she fucks him.
Let it happen.
And then it's all over.
Yeah, exactly.
Once the worst case is over, you can move on with your life.
Oh, this year on, you're really on fire today.
Yeah.
With very good advice.
Let's do another, huh?
And short, our advice is get over it, bro.
Yeah.
Unless your girlfriend is really upset or something,
but if you're the upset one, you have no, that's not on you.
You see a dick, you live in a city you're you're gonna see some penis
you know what the stuff uh... this is done from same shit anyways um
yeah man i just want to know if you think I'm making a good life decision here and
Comment backstory going completely, but I was 18. I went to a college and just went up to the financial aid office and
Let them fuck me. Yeah, like a hundred and thirty thousand. So anyways, that's so much money I got about half that paid off by selling a house and that shit blew up last
year or during the pandemic, whatever. But now I still got some left and I'm
burned out on my corporate job in like six months ago. I just straight up like
got a bunch of anxiety and I quit that job straight up and it was really good
idea. Like I feel amazing now, but I still have the rest of the student loans and a mortgage.
So I kind of think this is like self-sabtouch, but anyway.
So I have an opportunity to get the rest of the student loans paid off and rent my house
out, but it would involve leaving you know my family and
all my friends behind
but it's gonna be a really cool opportunity sound out
you know it is more self-savitarized or do you think i should go back
to what i think i'm gonna question but you think i should go back to this
corporate hell whole
because i'm making great money and i could pay that stuff off like a year
thought of the sky and don't want to do it ever again. It sucks
Yeah, it sucks dude. There's probably not enough information here. There isn't
Docs myself. There isn't and you're pretty annoying
What do you think? This guy's like should I work for a year and pay off all my problems?
Or should I just never get a job? What the fuck are the two options here?
Yeah, work for a year, you fucking piece of shit. What the fuck is this? Yeah, you have to have
a fucking job. Who's the dumbass that got $130,000 worth of student loans? It's you, you fucking dick.
And he's like, I have to leave my family and friends behind. You're a grown man.
What are you fucking scared to be away from your mom?
You go for a year to pay off your fucking loans.
Oh wow, you have to move to a different fucking city
than have complete financial freedom after one year of work.
You know the answer, you fucking idiot.
Anything to add, I'm sorry.
Um, no, I just don't understand how we can go back.
I don't know how to job, I don't understand.
You can go back.
No, you can't, he didn't give us enough information.
He was being annoying in five different ways.
I'm a little confused, but,
St. Shit, I also don't understand.
You didn't wanna say what,
Price, St. Paul, or whatever city's from.
He doesn't want us to know where he's from.
St. Louis, St. Louis, St. Paul or whatever city's for me doesn't want us to know where he's from Maybe St. Mary St. Louis. Yeah, so if you guys know what annoying Don from St. Mary St. Louis
St. Bartz St.
Where whatever and he's a long-winded annoying guy. It's probably this guy
He's like I don't want to dox myself someone from Deloitte could be listening
Yeah, what's the awesome opportunity that you could pay off all your student loans in a year? myself, someone from Deloitte could be listening to this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What's the awesome opportunity that you could pay off all your student loans in a year?
I have to go destabilize a third world country.
Yeah.
That's not going to come off great to all the people that are roofing a house right now listening.
Yeah.
They're like crawling through like an HVAC and I feel like, wait, what?
And what do you do now?
I don't understand.
I don't think he does anything.
He just hangs out.
Whatever dude.
It's also a year.
The thing is, yeah, corporate jobs are fucking brutal,
but you got it, or whatever, shitty jobs suck,
but it's like, you got to do it for a while.
We've had, we've all had day jobs here.
They were at Trojus.
But in your case,
you just have to work long enough to at least pay off your debt.
And then you can go back to doing some, you know,
some weird shit.
It's just like by selling a house, who gave you a house?
Right.
What house?
What are we even fucking talking about here, Don?
Anyway, shut up, fuck you.
Go to your job, you fucking pussy.
Hahaha. Hit us with a nice, Shut up, fuck you. Go to your jahavi, you fucking pussy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I got a lot of gun on drum, a toe worker of mine just found out that he had
a V and just by a possible elimination now several of us kind of had
bitching and same fucking spot. And that's mom gonna go find out by a
V. So question number one is how do I approach some money, you know,
obviously I'm not trying to be nice about this, but I'm also not trying to, you know,
talk back and hit some guy in the mouth about a pass around,
Gaby's been a dirty motherfucker.
How do I, you know, belittle of grown man and tell him, you know, you're dirty butt.
And then the second thing is, because it's happening in work hours,
I told work that they should cover everybody in you know check out and you know
Go to proper chefs now work is saying that they're not gonna take care of anything is on our own dog about it
I don't care. I got insurance the other guys. They don't got insurance and whatnot. That's for I'm almost feeling like
I just go around the office and scratch myself everywhere past gave you the
yeah big waves up top and really you know what
we have bills because uh...
i think they just got to be in a bunch of books about it
absolutely yeah let me know
appreciate it
the violence toward the first guys hysterical
well he want to punch the guy gave you skabies in the mouth
i gotta tell you i don't really know what skabies is
Let's find yeah, I think it's chicken pox for adults
We are skabies fucking dumb and she's gonna rash tiny burrowing mites are they bugs?
Skabies and itchy skin rash cuz but a tiny burr. I'm wrong
It's caused by tiny mite
Intense as you can curse in the area with a mite burrows.
Ugh.
They need to scratch maybe stronger at night.
Skabies can spread quickly through close person to person contact because Skabies spread
so easily.
Healthcare providers often recommend treating the entire family or any close contacts.
Skabies easily treated.
Medicaid and skin creams are pills kill the mites that cause Skabies and they have.
But itching may not stop for many weeks after treatment
Oh, yeah, you're thinking of shingles. I'm thinking which I had recently which sucks
You did bug how the fuck you get shingles. I guess I'm stressed
What's I anyone can get it if you had chicken box you can get it you can re get it. I just had him too. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, that's right. I don't know around around my head. Yeah, you get him right over here
Yeah, wait what the fuck related to herpes too very similar. Oh, right, I don't like that. That's right, I don't like that. You get him right over here, yeah. Wait, what the fuck?
It's related to Herpes, too, very similar.
Uh-oh, Eldis.
I mean, we know this guy's got Herpes.
Yeah, you guys have Herpes.
Yeah, I get cold sores on my lips occasionally.
I'm not calling that out, right?
Herpes.
That's a important messaging there.
Yeah, I think it technically is.
It is, yeah, but no, you're right.
It's from Suckin' Off Boyz.
Paul Wim and Style.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eldis gets his Whitman on every once in a while.
But this is different.
This is bugs.
This sick.
This sucks.
Did cause scavenger eggs?
I mean,
okay, so yeah, a couple different things.
Ooh.
So look, the guy who gave you skabies,
you don't know his fucking deal.
And someone else, like somebody you bumped into,
you're that guy to them.
Yes. You know what I mean?
It's like, he didn't try and get fucking scabies.
It's like getting mad at someone for getting you sick.
That's how illness works.
It's like, it's no one's fault.
Now look, if you went to a fucking scabies party
and it's one thing of you, like,
someone gives you an STD when they know they had it,
that's despicable.
But this guy probably wasn't,
that guy wasn't trying to give you fucking skabies.
You're being a dick for any kind of violent thinking
you have towards him, right?
But I would say take all that anger
and pour it towards your fucking bosses
who are like, oh yeah, we're not covering it.
Even though it's like an employee of theirs
gave everyone in the fucking office, Gabies.
And by the way, it would be the smart move
to just cover it to make sure everybody gets treated.
Right.
Because like, you don't want this highly contagious thing
at your fucking office constantly.
So, yeah, man, I mean, I could, I think there's,
I mean, you guys, I don't know where you work.
Did he say where he works, what kind of shitty does?
So it's just an office probably.
But if the other people don't have insurance,
maybe it's some kind of...
Yeah, like a warehouse or something like that.
There's a big movement,
there's a big kind of labor upswell going on.
Maybe you start a whole fuck at you,
you organize the workplace and you're like,
these motherfuckers gotta give us $40 each for shingles medicine
or some shit like that,
or talk to your boss about it or whatever.
So you don't wanna fuck this guy up.
This is disgusting though and you should get it
and take care of it immediately.
But yeah, I would say either give the big wigs shingles,
go seduce one of your bosses and rub shingles all over them.
Or, I'm sorry, shingles or what is this?
Is this shingles?
Skabies.
Sorry guys.
Shingles way less disgusting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shingles is like kind of cool.
I don't think it's cool.
No, it's awesome.
Skame a bug.
Bug sucks.
Anything in your body with eggs.
You got eggs and bugs.
No, no, that's fucking disgusting.
Yeah, I would think about taking away all the life.
I'm saying I would.
Me as a person, look.
Well, it's very easily treatable, like we said.
Yeah.
I would seduce you.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you have one more thing, it's over for you.
But you can't stack anymore.
This guy, we don't know, he might have a clean penis, you know.
I'm theater, I get all types.
Yeah.
The special doesn't have.
Yeah, guys, please watch the special.
This year's everything for everyone, right?
It's something.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Little sum for everybody.
I have enough for everybody. Enough for everybody.
Enough for everybody.
Show list.
Enough for everybody, Joe list.
Watch it so he doesn't, he's got a young child on the way.
Do you know this sex yet?
Do you want to know?
Yeah, it's a boy.
Oh, hell yeah.
It's a boy.
It's staying a boy.
Let's say that stuff.
I can tell you that right now.
We'll see what Uncle Stavros has to say about that.
This guy, he's staying.
I'm getting your kid dresses. I'm getting your kid dresses
Watching RuPaul
Nice red
Coming in Uncle Stavros is bringing Uncle Mateo and we're gonna see about that
So yeah, I don't know man don't beat this guy up don't I would say try and do on some Gandhi shit
Not the stuff about speaking of kind of pedophiles again
Not the not the Gandhi stuff where he would sleep next to a child to show what what what a what a how much self control he had. But the Gandhi thing of like you know what is it be? No, no,
it's a change you want to see when the Socrates one or whoever the fuck said like everyone's
fighting their own little battle or whatever the fuck. You don't know how this guy got
fucking his buggy ass this is scabies. Don't make him feel worse.
Dude, I was, I hooked up with a girl who told me like,
she had ringworm after we fucked.
I've had that.
Thank God I didn't get it, but I was like, you know,
if I had got, just for the honest pursuit of getting pussy,
I would be punished by ringworm and now what?
Someone gets mad at me and fucks me up.
Maybe this guy was trying to get pussy and ended up with skabies.
Do you ever think of that?
Maybe he was trying to help an old homeless man across the street and got skabies.
You don't know how he fucking got it.
Trying with a little grace to this guy, give him a little pass and, you know,
if your bosses don't want to pay for everybody's skabies treatment, maybe bomb the place, set it on
fucking fire, or they don't want to help you with bugs,
then you buy a bunch of bed bugs,
pour it all over the fucking office, little terrorism,
they can't get, bed bugs are impossible to get rid of.
They're gonna have to fumigate the whole place,
it's gonna cost them a lot more.
So take out all your anger on your bosses, their pieces of shit. That's what I would say
You got a nice one for it to take us home with eldest
Stavvy baby. Thanks for taking my call. This is your Georgian cousin
You know Georgia that that country that you one of the fuckers to your entire culture broke
georgia
this one
the gorgeous way most
bootleg eastern european fucking countries
it's like being like it's like it's like the fucking u.s. polo association of
countries
i think no georgia was a country exactly exactly fuck georgia and i have it's
funny
georgia the state has athens
you're right uh... they're saying this first of all georgia Fuck Georgia and they have it's funny. It's Georgia. The state has Athens. Yeah, right
They're saying this first point Georgia
Sorry, man Joe list everybody whoo it's really yeah suck my dick with your great value
fucking eastern european country georgia fuck you
good thing you all this uh... anyway
this isn't about uh...
old-ass culture dick measuring content actually right it's not because you're
dick a small issue
your culture's dick is eldest size dick
help with
so couple years ago
i met this amazing girl
right uh... we instantly hit it off
but you know after hanging out a couple of times
it just didn't click you know like we didn't have the uh... romantic vibe
but we've since then just become like really really good friends
and i mean like the last five years
She's become really one of my best friends. No
The problem is she has a fucking wild younger sister. I mean like
just
Yes, you know she's like in that horny stage where she's your fucking around
and she's just mid-twenties really fucking hot
she's just about to come
I'm like in my mid-30s and I'm kind of at this place where younger women kind of
have a like a like a daddy thing with me you know like they're for some reason
they're just super into it and like I'm kind of lying and kind of hard with her. I didn't need by the way
I didn't need to think I don't want to fuck you
You could have just said and I'm picking up a vibe she wants to fuck me
I don't need your narrative of no they have this daddy thing with me suck my fucking
You start off on the wrong foot pretending Georgia is even close to Greece
I'm about to come can we have to I'm sorry
Joe is edging right. Yeah, really. Like, I know if I hook up with her, I'm probably going to
fuck up this friendship. Why? Which really, really needs a lot to
me because like, I'm in my 30s and not really at an age anymore,
where I make a lot of friends.
I get my question is, I'm crotchety with the camera.
I try to feel the deal or like, is there a way I can like,
hook up with this girl and, you know, like, keep my friendship?
Why would you?
Is it worth, like, pause this, this guy's done.
You know, is it worth it?
Or shut up
he's pausing so wait so I thought for some reason I was half paying attention I
was offended by the George's stuff or stupid that I didn't know that was a
country yeah that was Jordan there's just here's a calling a George
George no I know but so this is just his friend's sister?
Yeah, this is not a problem. Well first of all, I in high school, I dated my best friend's
sister and he's still my best friend and I'm on good terms with her. I don't think sister's
not insane. I thought this was his girlfriend's younger sister. No, no, no. He went on, this
guy's saying he went on a date with's saying he went on a date with his,
he went on a date with his girl and they connected,
but then they realized after a couple of days
there was no romance there.
And they've been since incredibly good friends, right?
So he's just friends with a chick?
He's friends, so this is a weirdly sexier.
Yeah.
But it is a weirdly sex,
but that's a good point way to put it.
Cause like, like if your best friend is a guy
and you date his sister, it's almost cool.
It's like sick, dude.
You hopefully like cross your fingers,
we can just be a family.
Like you could, you could have,
my nephews could be your, you know, my,
I could be your uncle to your kids in the perfect world.
That's not about, why would your friend,
you, do you think this girl
that rejected you five years ago would now be like,
hey, why do you, why does my sister get the fuck you?
You know what I mean?
Why would there be any jealousy?
I really don't understand this question.
Well, there might be some jealousy popping up though,
if you're so close and now they're closer.
Like if all of a sudden I was closer to eldest,
it would never happened.
Yeah, you might be like,
hey, what the fuck, we used to be tight
and then all of a sudden we have inside.
Yeah, if you guys started fucking each others,
if you guys started, okay, in a world where you're not married
to another one of my friends who I don't wanna see sad,
I don't want you to divorce your wife
who's expecting your child to start
and I don't want you to dissolve your wife who's expecting your child to start. And I don't want you to dissolve your engagement to start dating Joe.
But in a world where you're both single homosexuals, I would actually be thrilled if you started dating
because then we could all hang out.
But maybe all of a sudden we're like, we need a loan time.
That's far, go show each other's nicks.
You're being a little dismissive.
I can see why it would be upsetting.
Okay.
They're best friends and now all of a sudden
He's gonna be closer
Here's a other thing even say best friends. I don't get this guy. I'm he he's probably over-sating how close they are
He probably thinks they're way closer than she thinks that's the guy that he couldn't fuck years ago
If that happens to me, Thank you. That was not.
You never want to see. I will never.
I don't need a friendship out of this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So I feel like I feel like for her, it could be like, well, what the fuck?
He's trying to like fuck my sister. Who's a whore? Yeah.
It sounds like. Well, that's the other thing, buddy.
You're Mr. Daddy getting this dick sucked over by mid 20s girls.
If you're so worried about the relationship, find one of these other myriad girls that are bright.
Knockin' down your door to get a taste of your 34-year-old dick,
these hot 22-year-olds that definitely...
Is this what people think when I say I get pussy?
Is this how they react?
I'm sorry if you actually get pussy,
because this happens to me all the time
when people are like, yeah, right, you fat piece of shit.
But it's also as interesting as has he felt,
have you asked the friends?
Have you told the friends?
Exactly.
Because she'd been like, stay away from my sister or anything
like that because it sounds like her sister's already
around being a flirting.
Yeah.
That's what you should think about this is that like what you said
earlier, this is about like, look, if I go on a date
and I have some kind of, it's like very rare, I'm not looking to add friends.
I'm trying to have a romantic thing.
So even somebody that is pretty cool,
if it doesn't end romantic, it's like, okay,
that's a bummer, but I'm probably not,
I don't, we're not being friends.
So he's progressive enough to have made a friend out of like,
you know, the dating situation where it's like,
a date doesn't go wrong, he's like, you know what?
But we could really be friends.
But he's not, but now he's kind of reverting
to being like, well, she's gonna get mad
if I fuck her sister.
It's like, she's just your friend.
I don't get it.
I don't understand why I know what you're saying,
too, Joe, I'm like, yes, that can fuck up the dynamic.
But I think like, it can make it a little weird.
I can't, I can't see a scenario that he's laying out
where the friend is like, how dare you fuck my sister.
You know what I mean?
Right.
I just don't get it.
I really don't understand this question.
I've been, I've been in some bros groups,
maybe a bachelor party, hypothetically in the past,
long time ago.
And there's this guy there who got the invite because he was like the grooms
like think you like try to fuck the bride at like a club a few years ago and he did and
he was still hanging around and he had some like you just had this energy of like what
is this guy doing here.
I'm sorry.
He tried to fuck the bride.
No okay the story was was like they met out of club or a bar
or something.
Got yours, ago.
They became friends.
Yeah, but this guy had like no sauce and it was like,
what is this guy doing here?
But why was he?
Wouldn't he be, then he should be at the Bachelorette party,
not the bachelor party.
He's her friend.
He got folded into the friend's face.
I hate that, dude.
I hate when, like, when, it's like,
I'm all for
switching up the sexes on bachelor bachelor parties.
That's so much better than my cousin
who you don't know comes to your bachelor party.
No, he hangs out with you girls.
And by the way, I'm gonna have a couple girls
in my bachelor party.
I know you know what I mean?
Like they're my friends.
They're not going to like whoever I marry their best,
unless they want to, unless they become friends.
But I hate when they like force you to get a fucking
like family member in there.
What about when the father of the bride?
Oh, that's crazy.
That's happened multiple times.
That's crazy.
Like your wife's dad is the,
and you're like, we're going to a person too.
Oh my supposed to cheat.
Yeah, exactly.
How am I supposed to get my dick sucked, guilt free,
and kind of live with that for the rest of my life?
If I know you know, and it's not just my most trusted
confidance, that sucks.
So anyway, I guess my question here is to you, buddy,
who I shit on, but now I've come back around through
and I'm trying to help you out.
My question is like, what is your worry?
Are you worried that it's just gonna,
I'm sorry, I'll just, did you have,
that I cut you off with that weird guy?
Well, I was gonna say like,
that guy's sorta like in the mix, yeah,
maybe they weren't dating or whatever,
but it's like, what is he doing here?
And that's like an example I can think of in my head,
that's kind of a parallel where it's like,
he's gonna try to fuck the girl's sister or whatever.
It's just a weird move.
But okay, let's take away the fact that they met on a date, right?
If you just have a friend, like we have a very good friend,
a girl who's a very good friend, right?
Like if I happen to start dating a sister,
it would not be weird.
It would be like,
what if she started dating your brother?
Wouldn't be weird. Wouldn't be weird to me at all. It would be like, what if she started dating your brother? Wouldn't be weird.
Wouldn't be weird to me at all.
I would be like sick.
I literally like,
if someone is really your close friend
and they date your sibling,
in my opinion, that's a bonus.
I maybe we're just,
and so I'm wondering what he's worried about.
Why do you think it will fuck up the friendship?
Is it because you're, yeah, you'll have to treat
or sister right.
You can't be a dickhead.
Are you kind of being like, are you mistreating women
at this point?
You're like, oh, I'm gonna have to like, I'm on the hook.
And it's like, if I fuck this relationship up,
I hope.
Maybe that's an argument where it's like,
that's like, if this doesn't end well,
I could jeopardize the friendship, that's something.
But the very idea of dating, I don't see that
as the problem. Now, if he's really just talking about fucking this of dating, I don't see that as the problem.
Now, if he's really just talking about fucking this girl,
maybe he doesn't want it.
If that's it, if you're like,
hey, can I just fuck this girl once
and maybe ruin a really good friendship?
Don't do that dumbass.
But if you're like, you could see yourself
potentially dating this girl.
I don't see that as a necessarily a deal breaker.
But if you're this worried about it,
it doesn't seem like it's worth it,
it's already this worried about it.
So I don't understand, I'm in my 30s,
and so I'm not making friends anymore.
Yeah.
It seems straight.
Is this our, just because we're in comedy?
I think we have a little privilege
where it's like we get to meet people all the time.
I guess so.
But also think about it,
how many outside of comedy friends have you made in the last 10 years?
Outside of 10 years, yeah.
Zero.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like this guy, we our job is so social.
We get to hang and then I've ended up making all my closest
friends since the last, probably last eight years,
have all been comedians because that's who's around. A guy like this, you're not going to make friends at the office, probably last eight years, have all been comedians, because that's who's around.
A guy like this, you're not gonna make friends
at the office the way we do.
And then it's like non-comedy friends,
yeah, I haven't made one good Christ.
I couldn't tell you the last time.
So that's kind of, anyway.
Yeah, I think you're good, bro.
But yes, if all you're saying is a hookup
with a hot 24 year old worth potentially jeopardizing
of friendship that I want to allow,
that you really value, no it is not.
Yes.
But I also think like, and also what you said,
have a conversation with your friends.
Is this your friend or is this not your friend?
Right.
Ask your friend, like, yo, what's up with your sister?
And she can be like, don't even think about it.
And you have your answer right there.
Or she can be like, fuck her, she's a whore.
Like if this is your real friend, like I've had friends
who like, you know, literally you know people are like,
yeah, fuck my sister, I don't care.
And then you also have people who are like,
don't you ever touch my sister.
So you gotta have to feel it out.
Also, ever here of masturbating,
you're picturing your friend's sister,
you just have a hot chick around you flirt with, it's nice.
Like you could just be like,
you could be like,
this is a chick around that I like to fuck.
That's just what marriage is.
You're like, oh, sweet, shelling's coming out.
Yeah.
And then you can spank back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can picture you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go,
you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, maybe I tweeted it, but when a guy's like,
you look good in that outfit,
that's the way of being like,
I wanna fuck this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You look really nice in that.
Yeah.
That's me being like,
like, look at this fucking piece of ass.
I'd love to pull this over your ass
and fuck your pussy in it.
I'd love to hike up this sundress
and fuck you in the pussy.
Yeah.
So yeah, anyway, you're fine, but you're overthinking it Yeah, so yeah, anyway.
You're fine, but you're overthinking it.
You're not getting, else if you're getting
as much pussy as you're leading on,
then yeah, don't do it.
Because it's not worth it.
This is like a high risk, you know, high risk, okay reward.
Getting to fuck one girl, and then after you fuck
her three months later, you just don't have a friend.
Yeah, not worth it.
Not worth it.
Do you have something very short for us to end on Eldis?
It's like your cock.
Yeah, we can end on Eldis' cock.
It's already over.
Oh, we have to go back in time.
His dick is so little, I'll call the same length
would actually take us to the beginning of the podcast.
What's the 25 second one?
I don't even know how someone stuffs that in there.
I said stuff because stuff is in the word.
I just read.
Where?
There's right there.
25 seconds.
Not screened.
Not screened.
Should we place some roulette?
Let's play roulette.
Yeah.
That means not screened.
El does usually...
Oh, he lists it still for us.
These are curated.
Oh, no, no, this sucks. Okay. I have the
blue print. Any, you know, whatever. Go ahead. Play it.
Hi, stop. Big fan. Now, um, quick advice. I just discovered, um, without saying too much.
I just discovered I have the ability to print to any of the offices of a large energy company
through my job.
Trying to figure out how I can make the most fun of this.
Okay, that's actually his job.
That's fun, yeah.
By the way, that could have been eight seconds.
Very slow to deliver it.
You're going to have to go Steven right to his bill.
Okay, this is fun.
You have the ability to send any picture to any energy company through your job
Well, do you want your job is big?
Yeah, can you do it anonymously?
Because you're sending I mean look the classics your penis
Your balls. Yeah
Your balls all fresh after a shit and then yes, you're right. How about this oil spill?
Something like that, you know.
Now here's an oil spill.
And then, yeah.
And no amount of dawn is cleaning a fucking seagull
with this shit, I'll tell you that much.
Diary and no wipe, take a photo.
Diary is good, because it's not sexual,
it's just disgusting.
Right, right, right.
You're right, my mind went straight to your balls,
it's not, because you can't like be, you're right because I mind when straight to your balls. That's not because you can't you can't like be you know
Prosecuted for assault with you send yeah, sure your shit doesn't feel like a sex grime. Yeah
Not I would say nice disgusting shit is kind of the way to go
What do you think elders?
Yeah, dick dick sounds. Oh man, we're off dick.
That was a great delivery.
That sounds pretty good.
I like it too.
You said you were agreeing with us, but you were disagreeing.
You're like, yeah, dick.
All right, well that's going to do for us folks.
Hell, this has the shoulders out.
I got the shoulders out. Go watch. Joe Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. inside people and all that stuff. So, was that no good? I think you can't really talk like instructions
on how to fuck someone.
And probably the wallwim and pedophilia didn't help.
The tip to bomb your place of work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, thank you.
Telling you got to kill himself for getting scabies.
We got a couple.
The one with Santino got demonetized
because I think I talked about killing myself.
So, anyway, whatever.
We're gonna do our best to get as many eyes on this.
For our friend, Joe, he's a father of a soon to be trans woman.
No.
In 18, in 16 years, when I steal his baby,
take it to Montreal and give it a legal, give it hormones.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I do a suicide joke, like four minutes into my special.
Is that gonna get demonetized?
I don't think so.
Standup comedy has more leeway.
I've talked to the YouTube guy about it.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause it's like, you know,
podcasting is bullshit.
They think standup is art still.
So it's like, you get a little more leeway.
Oh, we got him fooled.
Oh, yeah, it's called enough for everybody.
It's out right now.
Enough for everybody.
After you watch that, you can watch my other one this year's
material that's from last year.
This is from this year.
Yeah, subscribe to the Goddamn channel.
It's right here on YouTube.
It's right here.
It's right here.
And if you're not watching on YouTube, go to YouTube.
We'll have all the links in the description unless
I'll just forgot.
And that's really up to him.
Oh, forget.
Yeah. damn it.
I've already mad, doesn't even happen.
Fuck, we started militantly promoting,
you'll be at the top of that description.
You're a good baby boy, so go watch,
you probably already seen it,
they probably paused at the beginning,
watched the special, come back,
and really, you know, finished the episode,
but when they started, when it came out on Friday
that's true they might already be like yeah old news you fucking idiots shut the hell up
uh we'll talk to you next time guys bye bye play us off dunce the fucking How was that with the middle of shining all the time? I'll give you the right to get to know.
I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come.
Great news, but a big problem.
Where do you put eight people all with different requirements
and keep them all together?
We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious,
get an Airbnb.
My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.
It was a big house with multiple rooms
and in a part of the city with woods
and walking trails all around.
The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen
where we all got together
the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me.
And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I
stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.
Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification,
one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family
for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.