Stavvy's World - #62 - Aminah Imani and Rosebud Baker
Episode Date: February 5, 2024Aminah Imani and Rosebud Baker join the pod to discuss working while pregnant, how annoying it is to be a lifeguard and have to save someone, getting banned off AirBNB for cyberbullying your host, and... much more. Aminah, Rosebud and Stav help callers including a guy whose mom is dating a 24-year-old Instagram fitness rapper, and a guy whose wife is constantly snitching on him by telling people things publicly that he shared with her in private. Life's more fun when you're in on the action. Check out DraftKings Fantasy Sports AND DraftKings Pick6! Use code STAVVY for both. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Follow Aminah Imani on social media: https://www.aminahimani.com/ https://www.instagram.com/aminahimani/ https://www.facebook.com/aminahimani/ https://twitter.com/aminahimani https://www.youtube.com/@AminahImani Follow Rosebud Baker on social media: https://www.rosebudbaker.com/ https://www.facebook.com/RosebudBakerNYC/ https://www.youtube.com/user/rosebudbaker https://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker/ Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hop-ah! Welcome everybody to Stop These World.
904-800-STOP. Call in and we'll solve all your problems.
We have a very, we got a great episode.
We got Amina and Moni is here already on time.
One time, thank you.
And Rosebud Baker.
Probably as white as it gets.
As the whiteness of the white. Doesn't get whiter than Rosebud.
Top tier white.
Her family is war criminals. She is late
so I love it. I love it. Maybe you guys go check out a movie. Maybe Rosebud's the one talking. You know what I mean? Maybe you got
You're shushing her we're breaking the glass ceiling here at Stavis world with our guests
Feels great. You know while Rosebud's not here. I have a very special deal
I'm gonna share just with you and our listeners Amina Rosebud doesn't deserve to hear this
This is presented by DraftKings,
Fantasy Sports. Check out what DraftKings has to offer this season with code STAVI,
because life's more fun when you're in on the action. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Gamble problem called 1-800-GAMBLER. Agent eligibility restriction applied.
Voidware prohibited. See draftkings.com for details. Yep, she won't even, she'll never know about DraftKings.
And the Eastern Europeans, we were also on time.
So that's kinda, you know, that's,
Eldis was actually early today.
He's always, he's very bad at his job.
I mean, you don't really know the dynamics here.
We're best friends.
We've been friends since we were kids.
So we're really, you know, this is a big win.
This is a big win for immigrants.
One time a bad it's a job. Yeah know what that's the magic of eldest he will
do one annoying thing like whatever he's fucking up the other day he's fixing
the next day so like he'll be he'll be late but on top of shit one day and
today feels like a day we have a long day he's on time I don't expect him to do
well yeah I expect a couple files to be corrupt right something in fact
We got an email today. He had sent an attachment wrong already
You know no big deal only the biggest advertiser we've ever worked with only the most money the podcast has ever made
I'll just almost fucked it up. Wow, you need to send an email to us
before we can fix you.
Seems like you need to type up an email
and send it and submit it.
He does.
I'm gonna call in with some professional advice
using a voice modifier.
That would be awesome if you called in.
I hate my fucking boss.
My boss.
No.
We should do that someday. Thanks for being here.
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited.
This is a great studio.
Thank you.
It's nice and tucked away.
These are the gyms of New York.
Exactly.
Nice and Astoria.
We were back wearing grease, essentially.
We also like to ask our guests before we really get going, do you have any personal
experience with Greeks or Albanians?
No, I don't.
None. None. None, none, none.
Where'd you grow up?
Am I fortunate?
Yeah, well, Albanians, yes.
Greeks, no.
Right.
Yeah.
Where'd you grow up?
I grew up in Atlanta.
Oh, yeah, no.
Black Atlanta.
Yeah, Black and South.
No Albanians, right?
I don't think so.
I don't know.
We're there Albanians, I don't know.
Maybe now.
Maybe now.
Because it's the thing, every city I feel like
in United States it's like trying to become New York.
You know?
And then I go to like those cities like in North Carolina
and you know, just Bumbleweb or right?
Yep, country as hell.
And they're trying to be Atlanta.
So I think now Atlanta might, yeah,
it's spreading slowly.
So they might have some, you know,
international vibes in there.
But when I was there, it was just black, black. Yeah, and then I left and I was just like
Little gentrification
Couple glass buildings with way too much steel the cookie cutter city building New York and it's like you know
It's black, but then it's like you know a lot of spices. Yeah, a lot of shit you haven't heard of a lot of smells
You're not familiar with in Atlanta.
And I'm like, okay, okay, I'm learning, I'm learning.
Yeah, a lot of guys and beaters, like wife beaters,
chains, a lot of different ethnicities
that like that style, from Middle Eastern to European.
You get a lot of different stuff over there.
But I like it though, I like it.
It adds for adventure.
Yeah, no, I get that for sure.
I mean, we grew up in Baltimore.
And it was Baltimore, which is, I mean, it sure. I mean, we grew up in Baltimore. And they were.
Baltimore, which is, I mean, it's mostly black people,
but it was still like, we had like Greek people,
we had a lot of Jewish people,
we had like, there was enough of a sprinkling,
but you come here, especially Queens,
and it's like, restaurants I haven't even,
like of countries I didn't know existed,
have whole restaurants here.
Exactly.
It's pretty sick, I do love that.
And you find out some of the food is so similar,
but then it's that one thing where you're just like, ah, not quite. Not quite, but okay. I see where
you went with that. I also find that every single person claimed, like we were making fun of Rosebud
for being late, whatever, but I feel like every single like group of people I know is like, oh,
we're always late and we love to eat.
And it's like, that's just what a human being is.
You know what I mean?
I've heard every variation of time.
You know what I mean?
Like every Greek people are like, oh, we're always late.
And then it's like, yeah, you better not get us around food.
It's like, well, everyone is just literally the same.
I think though, it's certain groups of people
where the late is like okay well that's tomorrow
Saying late and it's like 15 minutes 30 minutes. You're a whole 24 hours late. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get it going
I did my friend it I do feel like there's certain people who are so mentally ill
That's where the lateness comes from. We had a friend
whose aunt was like truly four hours late to things and it was like you would
have to trick her and tell her to complete different things. With a good
amount of time like oh this hours should work and it's like no you actually
should have just told them a whole different time. But the mental illness is
real like but then also you got to learn what kind of person you are.
I have to do a lot of morning stuff.
I'm not a morning person.
Like I'ma like 10 a.m. is my good.
Like nine, 10 a.m.
I'll be there.
No, I'll be there on time.
You'll be there at 10.
But like anything before that is like,
count me out.
Yeah, I'm with you.
I think that's reasonable.
That is not where I'm gonna thrive and and grow
You can't really complain to people either about like on
Comedian time about like having to wake up at 9 a.m. No one likes hearing that
But it's like it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do when my sister calls me and she's at work teaching
My bed with my
And I'm in my bed with my shades. And the blackout curtain's closed.
She's like, what's going on?
And I'm like, oh, this is just a regular day.
I'm getting my sleep when I don't, you know.
Is your sister a teacher in Atlanta?
No, she's a teacher in DC.
Oh, in DC.
Yes, yes, yes.
Because I have my sister-in-law as a teacher in Baltimore.
And so it is like that's public schools
in any big city in America seems like one of the most brutal
Oh my goodness, and they have lunch at like 10 30 and 11
And I'm like, oh, okay cuz I haven't even eaten yet. So that's cool. You're in your second meal
Oh, that was always so fucked them. You just triggered a memory of like
Having 10 30 lunch and then oh look who it is. The bell goes off. Yeah, just interrupt the podcast.
Just as we got our flow rose, buddy.
You fucking animal.
But I just, there was like a,
like you'd have 10 30 lunch
and then you'd have to like go to like gym.
Whenever you had gym and then you're just like,
you have to be in the same
and then you have to just,
you wear those like disgusting gym clothes and then you're back in your have to be in the same and then you have to just you wear those like disgusting
Gym clothes and then you're back in your look We had to wear school uniforms because people were getting jumped for you know throwback jerseys
Like school uniforms to me is solid I like a lot of people don't like it but growing up
I didn't have everything that everybody
Yeah, totally. Oh, look who it is.
Look who decided to show up.
Yeah, the late white woman.
Yeah, no, no, get comfortable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you really bailed me out, Amina.
Yeah.
I was running a little late because I made,
I was trying a new pancake recipe this morning.
I was finishing, that was my excuse for running late.
Well, yeah, no, that's important to society.
Yeah.
Well, look, high protein, low cow,
I'm really trying to figure out a way to have desserts
and also lose weight.
Yes.
I'm in the lab trying to lose weight as fatally as possible.
I get it.
I get it.
That's how I used to drink.
How do I drink without becoming an alcoholic?
But I feel like that makes it worse because you'll be like, oh,
let me get just straight liquor. Yeah.
It's like, you don't want any of the sugar. And it's like, no, no, no, no.
I'm watching my calories. Yeah. Yeah.
Straight to a grain alcohol. Yeah.
How's your little child, Rosebud? She's great
Was it her fault?
What?
Do you want to blame the baby? Go ahead
I want to blame her but it was me
Okay
It was me
I was hiring someone to raise her
Oh yeah
Oh my god
Come on
I consider adoption on a day to day
Like just give up, find a nice family It's so crazy I consider adoption on a day
Just give up find a nice family. It's so crazy in a nice home for yourself. I mean, I'm so I'm so trapped
It's all you're doing forever. Yeah, it's forever. It is forever and it's just a fucking anxiety attack every morning
But also she's so great. She's just cute as hell. She's got these congrats
Yeah, huge lot of jowls going on a lot of jowl love a fat baby like a fucking English Bulldog
She looks like a sock like a soccer hooligan like the old soccer who like the guy who's like
But I'm just listening I mean a no idea Let's pull up a fat bold soccer hooligan She really does look like that when I'm changing her diaper. No you don't.
I see a maiden that say that about her.
That is her body type.
She is built like a bullfrog.
It's awesome.
No way.
Yeah she is.
She really is.
You're going to grow into that and be beautiful.
It's so weird to me.
Here's the thing that's weird to me is that that's so cute when you're a baby and then
you get old and people go like, no.
It's like a little, it is funny cause it's like,
it's like, it's cute unless your daughter grows up
busted as hell.
You know what I mean?
She keeps that, that face if she like.
She never grows hair.
She never grows hair.
She gets alopecia early.
She's just, struggles with her weight the rest of her life.
We can't put this out in the universe.
We'll have to delete this from the
From the public right like we're gonna have to check in when she's in high school and be like all right
Yeah, how's it trending? How's it looking?
Yeah, yeah
Where are we at?
Well who was not an ugly baby? I'm not saying the baby's ugly but I'm just saying who was an I was definitely like
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I was not cute for a long time
No, I peaked as a baby. I was the I was so cute as a baby and then it was downhill
That was the most attractive. I'll ever be in my life
That's my favorite thing all the most attractive people that got those accolades. They're like now like oh you fell off
Yeah, but at least they got the peak in high school. I peaked in diapers
I was cute as well social circle. No, I could I could barely talk my best friend I peeked. I was cute as hell. You didn't even have like a social circle
to like build knock ups.
No, I could barely talk.
My best friend was Big Bird when I peeked.
Like that's like, that was no,
I truly was fucking adorable.
It's so funny.
I was adorable and I was also like real,
me and Eldis, so Eldis here are producer.
He's six, five, whatever.
We were the same height in elementary school.
And we were, and I was like, my doctor's like, oh yeah,
he's gonna be tall.
I was cute, I was destined to be tall,
and then some just kicked in.
These diner owner jeans kicked in in sixth grade.
I have been five sevens since I was 12 years old.
I was like a big ass kid who was cute, and then I started losing my hair in like eighth grade and getting fattish shit
But hey, you know, I feel maybe that's gonna happen to your dog
I felt like I was like I I didn't I didn't know how I looked or how I'm supposed to look until I was like
Late 20s early 30s sure and then I had like a five-year span where I was like late 20s, early 30s. Sure. And then I had like a five year span
where I was like, okay, I got this figured out.
And then one lady cut my bangs too short.
And everything got fucked up.
All right, baby time, let's ruin this body.
Yeah, let me just fuck it all up.
Let me just burn it to the ground.
God.
That's why you just gotta get more money to fix all of that
Yeah, that's what it is. All the problems y'all are saying I'm just like
That is true. Yeah could work that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think at this point
It's a trip to Turkey. It's a point of first of all, I would never you don't need to go to Turkey
I would never go to Turkey. I would never I would never support that regime
Okay, that enslaved Greece from 1453 to 1821 I would never support that regime, okay,
that enslaved Greece from 1453 to 1821.
I did not confirm what does that mean.
I would be taking his rips to Turkey first.
Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking, I think, here's my true plan,
Amina in terms of hair, I think,
so I buzzed it early, I got ahead of it
when I was like 18, 19, 20, something like that,
in college, the first sign of like, true it when I was like 18, 19, 20, something like that in college.
The first sign of like true it's going,
like it was always thinning, but it was like the first
like little back right here.
I was like, let me buzz, cause at this point
it could be a fashion choice.
Right.
Like I'm hiding behind that.
I can pass this off as a choice.
Exactly, and then I just kept going thinner,
thinner, thinner until I went skin, right?
And it was not a bad look at the time.
I think it was, I was, you know, I was toothless.
It was fun.
It was like ironic.
I looked, you remember that?
Yeah, yeah.
And I think that was the good move.
And then when I, now in my mid 30s,
that's when I grew up because now everybody's coming late
to getting buzzed.
Now buzzing is a sign of quitting.
It's a sign of admitting you're dying.
This is your, you're like, I've, you know,
God has taken, he's punishing me
and I have submitted to his will, right?
But growing it out, that says, fuck you, God.
I'm keeping my hair, I don't give a fuck.
And I think it's, and so now it's,
and now my real, now I'm going,
when I will get plugs,
I'm going to be like 64 years old.
I'm going to be an old man.
You're not, you're going to wait till you're 60.
I'm going to be an old, I'm going to be an old bachelor.
I'm going to be an, exactly when I'm going
for the golden bachelor, when they have some kind
of weird washed up reality, reality, like podcasters.
I hate to.
You're not going to get on golden bachelor.
You've got to learn to cry in public.
Look, maybe not going bachelor by then he will
Okay, hear me out this is gonna be devastating when we all realize this the nostalgia of dating reality shows in
1520 years, they're gonna be podcasters. Yeah, they're gonna be internet personalities
Yeah, I am gonna be there gonna be I will be it'll be because I had a podcast calling me
They will be like it'll be like VH one. I'm not gonna be on good TV. Don't get me wrong
This will be like you're getting offers
But I'm gonna get some really demeaning offers that I will be hard up enough for money. Yes to accept
You'll say absolutely. That's when as a 60 people will know me as a fat-bolding man my whole life
Yeah, and that's when I get on ozampic. That's when I get plugs. And I show up to VH ones.
I'm not mad, I'm not mad.
I wanna marry a, VH ones, I wanna marry a podcaster.
I show up, you know?
It's like me, it's like, you know,
it's like a bunch of just washed up, you know.
It's like Ira Glass is there for this American life.
We got Marin, we got, you know, just, you know, whoever.
They're all falling off.
Everyone is falling off.
And they're all much, they're older than me too, so you know.
But I show up there.
So you're the young hot thing.
I'm the young, yeah, call her daddy maybe is there,
that girl, I don't know, some bars still go.
You know, I'll figure out.
Right.
We'll figure out who is, you know.
But I like the creative, I like the hot.
You'll show up and they'll be like,
is that Kevin Clancy?
Yeah, yeah.
You look stavros.
Yeah, I'm gonna show up. It'll be fucking weird. that Kevin Clancy? Yeah, yeah. You look stabbrous. Yeah, I'm gonna show up.
It'll be fucking weird.
I'll be jacked.
I'll have hair.
I'll be 62.
And my heart will give out,
because of all the testosterone and shit I'm on.
Like I will die shortly thereafter,
but it will be a good move.
You know what I mean?
Like, so I've got it all planned out.
I would watch this today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How are we like, should we write this?
Yeah, no, it's fantastic. How are we like, should we write this? Yeah.
This is fantastic.
And it's like all, has been podcasts
and it's like the worst type of gold diggers.
Like kind of like the flavor of love,
kind of like the rock of love that,
we're gonna bring that back,
but it's a little bit of,
it's like kind of Love Island meets that
with the most decrepit podcast men.
Yeah, they show up, it's old women in shine dresses. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And with the most decrepit podcast. Yeah, they show up, it's old women in shine dresses.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
With like,
With like,
With like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like,
with like, with like, with like, with like, with like, with like, So anyway, just so you know, so this that's why we're riding it out. I'm just explaining Amir
That's why I haven't taken the flight again, not to Turkey somewhere else
But I would here's what I really would do
I think it would be funny to get a beard transplant that would be funny
Yeah, you know what I mean?
It's like I got this patchy shit going on right here
Yeah, for you to fill it all in be awesome like look like yeah yeah I
look Dominican I look like I have a freshly lined up Dominican every day of
my life yeah so anyway I got a lot of plans. I started watching um
Show last night the traitors. Have you guys seen the traitors? No? All right. Well then fuck it
It's basically like you know that game murder that you would play as a kid where like like somebody gets labeled as a
Murderer watching peacock. Yes, you really are a company woman
somebody gets labeled as the murderer. You're watching Peacock?
Yes.
You really are a company woman.
I am.
You're the only person in America.
She's trying to, this is,
Lorne Michaels told her to say this.
All the reality shows are on Peacock.
All the reality and Lorne did not send me here.
Roswell's only here to like try and sneak in a Peacock,
a plug for a Peacock reality show no one's ever heard of.
It's an Emmy winning show.
It's just like, no one's ever heard of
Yeah, I'm familiar with that because like everybody else I was forced to watch Peacock when they put playoff football on it
So I saw a bunch of like well, that's what peacock did right They were like it was extortion things that people have to see yeah, and they were like nothing that anybody's written Right gotta be sports or reality the only thing yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was like oh, okay
Well all my like my sports is on here now, so yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah girl and gay guys sports and then regular sports
Yeah, they got them both a hundred percent. I was like, Andy was making fun of me because during the Real Housewives of SLC, I paused
it and was going up to the TV reading the text messages to break down what the shit
was.
He was like, this really is sports to you guys.
It is.
You don't watch it, do you?
You're smiling at me like you don't watch it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
But I mean, I'm engaged. Yeah, no, no, but I mean I'm engaged.
Yeah, I haven't been watching TV. It's so funny when Amina doesn't know what you're talking about. She can't hide it.
Her eyes blaze over and she gets this past-world smile.
But I'm listening, I'm learning.
She goes like, aha.
But I know how the real house works, how house works, but I just...
It's basically just like...
It's so much drama.
It's watching the toxicity. I love it. Yes. I love enough of that in my life
Yeah, check in and watch other people go
Bad for you. I will it's bad. I feel like it's I feel like I'm smoking while I'm watching it
But I mean I feel like it's bad, but then it's also good because you're just like, oh, I'm not that fucked up
Yeah, yeah, my life, okay, no. You know.
That's a bad thing.
Also, I'm feeling bad for these women,
because it's like, I watched the first season
of one of them with a girl, of course.
There's no other way I would throw that on.
It was fun.
I watched it at the very first season of the New York one.
And then like, and it was, you know, whatever.
And I had seen these women around, whatever.
But now it's like, it's like how I feel about Joe Biden
where it's like, this is elder abuse at this point.
It is elder abuse now.
Stop letting these women get BPLs and tummy tucks.
They're grandmothers.
It is elder abuse.
It's fucked up what they're doing to their bodies.
And then their face is so straight
and then their neck is just all wrinkly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah, and I'm just like, there needs to be
a retirement home for them
where they don't have to keep it up
You know what I mean? Like some of them are getting starting to look like straight-up old ladies. Yeah
No, there's no any fair article that came out that was like this lady like pissed herself and I was like I can't read
This show I can't read this like 60 year old woman pissing herself on vacation
It's like no we can't if I'm gonna watch this and enjoy it,
I can't know this about that.
Exactly, exactly.
Even though I do deep down in my heart.
Yeah, totally, no.
It's like, you don't want,
it's like when the circus first came out
and it's like, you don't want to know
what those little acrobat children go through.
Right.
They sleep in a cage next to the lines.
Yeah.
They're getting, they're getting,
They get fed little blocks of cheese.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how you know you messed up when you know that
and you're still just like, get it?
Yeah, it's a modern freak show, it's so fucked.
And that's like, at first I can see it
being kind of empowering, but it's like, you know,
these women are all just still performing
and then it's like, the original husbands,
they're all divorced, the husband's just
got a younger version of this woman. Their lives, it's like the original husbands, they're all divorced, the husbands just got a younger version of this woman.
Their lives, it's like it has just,
it has done nothing but reinforce
how fucked women are society.
Where it's like yeah, all the like duller rich husbands,
like they just get a hotter wife every 20 years.
And then these women just have to keep,
the only one, I mean didn't like Bethany
make a bunch of money off of like a skinny girl shit or whatever?
Like a couple of them figured out how to cash out.
There was one, that was all,
that she was the only one.
Literally one.
They call it the Bethany Claws.
Like there's nobody else has ever made any money off of stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I guess in that sense, I guess a way
for to watch women humiliate themselves,
maybe I will check it out Rosebud.
Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe. It out Rosebud. It does sound pretty fun. I am surprised more straight guys don't enjoy it.
Yeah it's kind of like a victory lap. Well you guys are getting the real thing.
You guys get to do it in your lives. We just sort of watch and go like we're all
we're not alone. It's also there's a twisted aspect to it that I think I
enjoy which is like civilian people
getting into the entertainment industry and thinking like,
oh, this is like, this is the life,
and not knowing all the ways that they're getting fucked over.
Whereas like you watch it and you go,
you go like, oh, fuck, they're like at the beginning of it right now,
but it's about to go downhill.
And everybody thinks they're in control. They're like, I got this. They think they're in control.
It's not gonna ruin my life.
Yes.
Yeah.
And then they start getting fucked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, bitch, that's how it is.
They're putting out sex tapes at 52.
Oh my goodness.
They're doing whatever it takes to stay relevant.
That's the part I'm not mad at.
I'm like, it's too late.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the biggest work.
Yeah, I think you can figure it out.
Give us hope. Did you put out a best part. Yeah, I think you can figure it out. Give us hope.
Would you put out a sex tape?
Listen, I don't know.
I don't know what I would and what I would.
No, not at this point in my life.
I'm just saying every day is a thought that I'm just like,
how much are we going to entertain it?
Right, right, right.
Well, it also feels like it's a little cry.
It's like YouTube specials now,
where it's like, well, everyone's putting out a sex tape.
I'm going to have to shut my talk.. It's gonna get lost in the shuffle.
Yeah. You know? Maybe that's what we do. We do our YouTube specials fully naked.
Right. Right. Well here's the thing. I won't want anyone to sit through that. Yeah.
The pregnant... I'll just be apologizing. I'm sorry.
Yeah. Rosemary did you film the special pregnant or no?
I filmed the special pregnant, but it's two parts.
So half of it is pregnant and half of it I'm shooting a year after I've had the kids.
Oh, nice.
Nice little, I was just good.
I'm glad you put a twist on it.
I was just about to shit on the pregnant.
Because it was like, because it's like, it's the way, because it's like, it was cool, right?
Like you put out a pregnant special, right? Yeah. And you no no no no no no no no no that's a great idea right but i was going
to say like because i feel like when ali wong did it it was like okay sick and then she was like
did another one pregnant you're like okay i mean i guess like that's fine i get doing the first one whatever and then it's like it feels like you're like, okay. I mean, I guess like that's fine. I get doing the first one, whatever.
And then it's like, it feels like you're planning this one.
And then I even understand doing,
because like after doing specials,
it's like your life gets really fucked up.
And it's like, it takes a lot of work.
And then you're like, fuck, if I'm gonna have a kid,
I get how women are like,
oh, I have to do it pregnant because it's like,
once the fucking newborn comes out,
that motherfucker's latched on to me. But it has gotten to the point where it's like, damn, this comes out that motherfuckers latched on to me
Yeah, but it has gotten to the point where it's like damn
This is like it went from a cool novelty to being like wait, what's why is everybody and unless you understand
Maybe or maybe women just get pregnant and they still want to work. Yeah
Tending to their husband. This might be a crazy idea, Stav.
He's about, I know that.
Maybe women just get pregnant
and they happen to also be cramming.
Oh, it's gotta be nine months every time.
Oh, they film it.
It could have been six months.
Had to be right when they're about to pop
when it's the most visually striking.
I'm not saying they don't gotta work.
I'm just saying there's a lot of.
Mommy said, I don't wanna look at you. Yeah, yeah. That's all. I mean, the ones don't got to work. I'm just saying there's a lot of... I don't want to look at you.
Yeah, yeah.
That's all.
I mean, the ones whose tits get huge.
Yeah.
Look, the ones...
You know, the cameras, they love you.
I love you.
I suppose, I suppose that's a fair counterpoint.
Thank you, Ross, my buddy.
But I'm such a traitor because I'd be on board with this and then I was like, I'm on board with both of them.
No, stay Amina, stay here.
It's so funny because I've heard it so many times where it's like people are like, you know the Ally Wong thing.
I'm like, no, it's not. We just get pregnant.
But I get what you're saying but I get what you're saying I know what you're saying and I feel but my my point is I feel like there should be so many
that it's not a novelty yeah you know what I mean yeah like I'm kind of it I
you know obviously now that I've shot one yes oh we should just have more of
these you know the next level is just bring the baby right on stage well
that's what I was gonna say the. The next thing is delivery room special.
The whole thing that we accidentally
delved into a real conversation about,
I was going to do the bit of like, you should do it.
Yeah, exactly.
You're in the room.
Like let's take it to the next level.
You're right.
Let's normalize pregnancy so much.
You're just there.
Epidural, lupus hell.
Lupus hell. Between bit. Between bit. you so much you're there epidural yeah loopy as hell loopy as hell between
contractions while the fucking blood bucket fills up right behind you yeah
yeah yeah maybe we can exploit the kid get you know its first moments alive or
on camera yes it's what it's enough not to you know a lot of people are posting
you know like people say you're posting too much whatever yeah baby fresh out fresh out no even choice you
know what before you wipe them off Mike I'm like yeah yeah put a lot of in your
pussy yeah as soon as your water breaks Oh
It's like
We were just like yeah these pathetic real housewives
Googling jobs at the FBI Oh my goodness, I was looking up being a lifeguard again. If I could just sit there and show up and act like I care about someone else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know.
It's the perfect job for me right now.
I know.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I do, I would want to work at the FBI though.
Yeah, I would.
How come?
I don't know, I just want to,
I want to show up and be like,
all right, what is it today?
You know what I mean?
I didn't have my coffee.
It feels like my, it feels like the FBI is the only place where it's like,
I guess they'd be looking for people
outside of a normal perspective or something.
I don't know.
Interesting.
This is like me being like,
I feel like I should open a diner.
You know what I mean?
I feel like it's like we're going to our roots.
It's like, you know what I mean? It's like, you're just like, yeah, let me work for law enforcement. Let me roots. You know what I mean?
You're just like, yeah, let me work for law enforcement.
Let me work, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I want to solve a murder or do something like that.
But I'm like, yeah, it feels like going back to what?
Yeah.
I'm like, I don't know.
Maybe there's some nepotism there.
Oh, you could get in there easy.
You got a nice office badge.
You would have to have too much patience though.
Like, what if it takes, like, we watched TV
and it's like a 20 minute episode,
but like a real crime could take like 20 years for you
to really crack.
Would you be up for that?
Yes.
Yeah.
Have you ever had a, what was your non-comedy job?
What was your last non- like entertainment job?
My last non-comedy job was that I was writing horoscopes
That's fucking awesome. It's somehow more bullshit than comedy
No, but I know a lot about it
Yeah That's cool trying to create miracles Kind of I know a lot about it. Yeah, that's fucking awesome
That's cool trying to create miracles
Can you get my shit going nice I would love that balding
For the YouTube stab
Balding straight backs? Come on. I would never. Let me look like Baldin.
I don't know if it's the right price.
I'll break it.
Yeah, there we go.
Let me humble myself again.
You're all the way in a story, huh?
You might as well.
I looked at it in the beginning, like for real, when I was younger, it would be like a whole
list of things I would never do.
And I'm telling you right now, I'm at the moment where I'm just going to name your price.
It's time to visit it.
Yeah.
Braiding a fat, balding white man's hair? Yeah, I'm gonna move off the I'm just in your price. It's time to visit it. Yeah, braiding up braiding a fat balding white man's hair
When you were a lifeguard, did you ever have to like save anyone?
No, because you you lifeguard for so long I was a lifeguard from age of 15
So at this point I think by the time I had to actually save someone was like 10 years later.
Oh, wow. All the training had worn off.
Like everything like the care, concern, the immediate seed, the urgency.
All right, let me go save this mother.
Oh my goodness. And then it's like you don't want a victim shame, right?
Sure.
But like it's at the end of the day. It's like you see this pool.
Yeah.
You see this pool. You You can drown why you hear
Who what do you remember who the first person like what they were there's like a little fat kid
That's what I'm thinking it was a child and so like usually this is when they used to like build deep pools
Okay, yeah, I don't do that now. There's just like give them three feet
Yeah, I don't the lips of ruined pools
It's like give them three feet and that's it. I don't.
The lips of ruined pools.
No, literally.
The lip cars of ruined pools.
But I grew up in Atlanta and all the pools,
we had like nine feet.
Oh yeah.
Like shit that you really could drown in.
Yeah, yeah.
Like hey, don't drown in nine feet.
And it's like, well I can't stand in nine feet,
but whatever.
And so it was a kid trying to fit in with the other kids.
They had to take a swim test and be in the deep.
She hopped in the deep knowing damn well
she's supposed to be in the deep. Mind youpin in the deep knowing damn well she's supposed to be in the deep.
Mind you I'm leaving like we transition like this so it really wasn't on me like I got my phone
I'm off. Well I was already off in the chair. You're imagine my mindset out of the chair.
You're three inches deep in a foot long at this point. You gotta put your sandwich down.
That's awesome.
I'm texting people back.
By the time I see this little girl,
I don't know what the other lifeguard was doing.
Probably what I was doing before I got out to shit, right?
She's drowning and Amina's like,
hey, I'm on my break.
Are you free?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's awesome.
You were giving a drowning kid DMV energy.
You're like, I'm sorry. That is not my department
But I'm looking around
With my damn phone
And it wasn't even a real save like no, you know, I like when you try to blow the whistle
real safe like you know you know how like when you try to blow the whistle like it was just like me diving in with your phone up fucking my phone up
needing you SIM card and then trying not to yell at this look I can see you
jumping in the phone coming up first and then the kid
grab her it was the worst but other than that no serious for real that was the
only one out of like 20 years of lifeguarding
So that's the thing they trick you like all you had to save lives and no
It's just here to look like you yeah can save a life and then you realize oh in a real life
I'm not really into yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like even if I got to the FBI and it was just like collecting data
I'd be like that's fine. Sure. You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, just to be like, I'm a part of it.
Yeah, just to be like, I got the jacket.
This is fucking insane. The thing you're daydreaming about is the FBI.
Yeah, I know it's insane.
I know it's insane.
We're the most fucked up organizations.
I know it's insane.
I know it's awesome.
It's like we're about being a fucking teacher.
You're not going to do it.
I don't want to teach her.
Pretend to be a good person. No, I do it. Pretend to be a good person.
No, I don't wanna pretend to be a good person.
I don't wanna, once we've gotten through
the entertainment industry,
there's only, you can only get more fucked up from there.
Sure, sure, sure.
You can't go backwards.
I love this.
You can't unknow what you know.
I love this, okay, cool.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not gonna go into teaching
and pretend like I didn't say all this shit
on this podcast. Right, right, right. But you're like, and pretend like I didn't say all this shit
But you're like hey if I if I can be of work for an organization that fre that tricks mentally ill Muslims into thinking They're talking to al-Qaeda and then arrest them. You're like I could do that. I could do that
You're like hey, dude, it's Osama Bin Laden.
I'm actually alive.
And I need you to do 9-11-2, brother.
Can you sign up?
Meet me at the kebab shop.
They're like, so you were at Comic, right?
They're like, yeah, they're like, do you do accents?
Yeah.
I'm like, I could do voices.
I could work it out.
They got Matt Friend pretending to be Osama Bin Laden back from the grave. I'm like, do you do voices? I can work it out.
They got Matt Friend pretending to be Osama bin Laden
back from the grave.
I don't know if I could work with him though.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know if I could work with him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's probably right.
I'm becoming a pilot though.
OK, now we're talking.
This is the kind of daydreaming that will never happen
I'm talking about.
Yeah.
And beyond.
I don't know, you never know know, I'll hear some stories.
When's the last time you uh, what's the closest you've been to flying a plane or any training to it?
Like two years ago I went to this flight school that was in Paris.
Oh shit really?
And they were like uh.
Wait what?
Yes.
They were, they were, the flight school were selling uh air bnb experience packages for you to fly.
Oh my god.
And one thing about Amina is she'll find a deal.
Yeah.
I paid $150.
To go to flight school and have a vacation?
That's no way that's a fucking legitimate flight school.
No, I mean that is, that is true.
You were playing Xbox 360.
It's the billionaire submarine of planes. That is so awesome.
But I'm here to tell my story.
So wait, how was it?
It was great.
Oh my god, I cried.
It was beautiful, but then also like,
it was just my life on the line and the pilots.
And I was just like, wow, imagine 150 people behind you.
Oh, y'all, y'all are in for a ride.
Wait a second, you were in the air?
This was on a simulator?
No, this was in the air
I
Use that as your director. Oh, okay. Got it. It was like a line of trees I bet you that shit wasn't even like plugged in no that controller wasn't plugged in
Maybe I could do the gameboy control
I was like oh done this before wow and so you're gonna parlay that into a pilot
You're like you put that on. I just want to preface that before I get into the details.
It's going to sound like your fault or it's going to be your fault.
Got an Airbnb in Alabama.
See already.
I'm the problem.
I am the problem.
I show up to the Airbnb.
It is nothing like what they listed.
Nothing.
Like the building was like dilapidated, whichever were to capitate, whichever were.
It's decrepit, whatever all of that.
And it just like there was roach patches
and just filth and just disgusting, right?
And so I'm just like, I'm not saying here, I'm leaving.
Yeah, Airbnb is like, we can't give you your money back.
Crazy.
I got so mad.
It's like three days for me to get mad.
So where I started finding the lady who listed the Airbnb
I remember I went on Facebook shout out to Facebook. No one's still on there, but I was on there
Yeah, I posted a picture. I was like does anybody know this lady?
Next day and my family members is like, I found her. I went to work.
I found out that this lady is a doula and a pastor.
OK, so you book a session?
Oh, so I didn't book a session.
I found her parents.
OK.
I found the person who gave her a doctorate.
I found anybody attached to her.
And I said, this is what she's doing on Airbnb.
I just wanna let y'all know I'm here to ruin her life.
And apparently like that, like it's against community guidelines.
Okay.
I'm like apparently like you can't see.
Hunting down the property owner.
You see perfection, you can't.
And taking community justice.
That's against the terms of service.
I can't be back on there no more.
A grassroots cancellation effort.
Well the problem was you went to her loved one.
If you had gone to the internet at large.
Oh well I did and then like Twitter blocked me for like 15 days.
What?
Everybody was saying I can't out this lady about this braggie eyes.
They're like, oh, it's privacy.
What?
I'm infringing on her privacy by exposing the fraudulent.
I'm out $78.
No, I'm on my side.
I don't care, man.
Fuck Airbnb.
But like, not if you use it.
No, no, it's fine.
So, you know, if it's your thing, go for it.
Yeah, I like that you're open-minded.
Yeah, for sure. Like, I'm not going to shut it down for everybody, but for me, it's definitely a shutdown.
What were the ratings like to this place? Have good ratings?
That's the thing. Everybody was like, the house has so much character.
Oh.
The yellow shit on the blinds is character?
Yeah. The mold in on the blinds is character.
Yeah.
The mold in the freezer is character.
Yeah, that's fucked.
Oh, I was pissed.
And then she had her clothes in like every closet.
So I'm still mad.
I have to let it go.
Maybe I'll talk about any therapy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I feel like I'm on your side with that.
I mean, I know I go low.
Like when you do something wrong to me
and I do something wrong back,
like I know that it's gonna be a problem for you,
but also please remember what you did.
And just because mine is gonna be 10 times more worse,
just know it wouldn't happen had you not.
You should have fucking run a room bow over that fucking.
Everybody pokes the bear and then the boy's the bear text.
And why did the bear,
oh no!
Why was the bear being a bear?
Oh yeah.
Yep, I love that.
Okay, yeah, but yeah.
I get that.
All right.
No, I'm the same way.
If I'm like pretty chill until somebody pisses me off.
And I really hate that, like, I'm trying to be mature
and like just go through life
and trying to take the high road.
But as soon as you take the low road,
everybody's like,
see, I told you she's a monster.
It's like, well, how did the monster become a monster?
Right.
Your origin story.
Are we going to tell that story?
Has the monster been wronged one too many times?
Right.
Did you call the monster a bitch?
You know what I mean?
Like, OK.
All right.
Time to find all your personal details
and post them all over the internet.
Oh, I'm with you. I am. Time to find your all your personal details and post them all over the internet
That's fair though, yeah, and I didn't even care I was just like you know what yeah, absolutely I learned my lesson like definitely. Maybe I should not have done some things, but you'll never forget.
You'll never forget.
Yep, you'll update that listing.
I'll tell you that much.
You know what, at least there's not a ton of people
that I know that learned from Airbnb how to fly a plane
before they got kicked off.
That is true.
So I feel like you got your money's worth in the end.
In the long run, I think so.
I'm good. I'm good.
I'm good.
She'll never forget me.
She was like, she went on live.
And she was like, some girl named Yes Me.
She went on live.
She had to control the narrative.
She had to get in front of it.
She did a video in the same house with her head
in the phone like this.
Move your big ass head.
So they can see where she's at. So they can see where she's at.
I feel like I've done something not,
it wasn't like Airbnb, but I feel like when,
I got in a fight with my sister over Christmas one year,
and I did, I locked myself,
because I couldn't hit her, so I locked myself in a room,
and I started finding photos of her and farm animals
that looked similar, and just started finding photos of her and farm animals that looked similar
and just started posting over and over pictures of her next to farm animals that she looked
identical to.
But it wasn't, it was nothing like that, like she didn't have to go on live, but she was
like, why are you cyber bullying me from the next room?
She was like, come in here and hit me you pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have you ever gotten a fist fight with me?
But wait, why couldn't you hear?
Yeah, my sister's, yeah, I've hit him.
Why couldn't you hear?
Because you just knew.
I think I was on, I think I was, it was one of those years where you go back to your
family and you go like this year.
I'm different.
I'm different, yeah.
And you're like, I'm not gonna hit anybody.
And so you have to stand by that and now you're looking for all of them.
Yeah, you find every way that you can hurt them other than hitting them and it turns out to be worse. gonna hit anybody. You have to stand by that and now you're looking for all of the names.
You find every way that you can hurt them other than hitting them and it turns out to be worse.
Way worse than just a nice cold cock.
Listen, I've done some things, call me crazy, but I stand by it.
Respect. This is great. Well, I think this is exactly the energy we want to bring into our advice portion of the show.
Two of the most unstable women that have been in my apartment in a while.
And that's saying something.
That's saying something folks, if you've seen my DMs.
Before we get into this, I just wanna know,
StarVos has black hair care products in his bathroom.
So if I am stable here, absolutely you reach that point.
You have mizoni and hair milk in your bathroom.
That's a good shit.
You're a shape wester, okay?
For the little hair that you own.
Yeah, I'm trying to make your job easier when you braid it later.
Yeah.
For a grand fee.
What is a grand fee?
Honestly, it could be $200 at this point.
I'm low.
Ah, DraftKings, the leader of Fantasy Sports, just dropped a brand new fantasy app. a grand fee. Honestly it can be $200 at this point. I'm low.
Ah DraftKings, the leader of fantasy sports, just dropped a brand new fantasy app, Pick
6.
Pick 6 is the newest way for you to get in on the fantasy football action with DraftKings.
Just pick between 2 and 6 NFL players and choose if they're going to have more or less
of a stat.
For example, will a player have more or less than 100 rushing yards?
Or will a player have more than one touchdown?
Wow.
That's a good question.
You could earn a lot of money if you know the answer to.
Track your lineup and compete against others for a shot at huge cash prizes.
I can't wait to try pick six.
I think I'm going to make a nice fat stack on the big game.
So download the DraftKings Pick 6 app now and sign up with code STAVI.
That's code STAVI, only on DraftKings Pick 6.
The crown is yours.
Gambling problem called 1-800-GAMBLER.
18 plus in most eligible states, but age varies by jurisdiction.
Eligibility restrictions apply.
Valid only in states where DraftKings, PickSix operates. PickSix not available in all states,
including but not limited to Connecticut and New York.
For up to date list of states, please visit dkng.co
slash pick six states, void were prohibited.
See terms at picksix.draftkings.com.
Hit us with the first question, Big Eld.
What's up, Bob? What's up, Stav, what's up, Elvis?
Oh, look at that, he was on time,
but late with that one.
Yeah.
What's up, Stav, what's up, Elvis?
Hello to the guest.
I was just wondering if you had any advice
on what I should do with my mom.
She's been divorced for a while
now nice but I recently found out that she's been dating a 24 year old
Instagram fitness rapper okay and I don't know what the fuck that's awesome paul's
uh... just off the top salute keep going
but the fuck is a fitness wrap
i don't know i can't wait to find out more information
me and my brothers
and
i found out through some internet flu thing
on instagram this guy's been commenting on her posts all the time
it's a chance of and uh... you know a couple months ago she said oh me and the girls are going to on Instagram this guy's been commenting on her post all the time and
You know a couple months ago. She said oh mean the girls are going to Cleveland. Oh hell. Yeah, you know some
girls night
Vacation or whatever that's so sick and so we're now realizing that she went to go visit this kid
And yeah, like she lives in Florida so I don't know what I should
do one of my brothers even threatened not going to Christmas because she was
being like out of a dumb bitch about it a lover the woman who raised us yeah
don't know what to do any advice would be
widely appreciated
Hopefully your guest comes from a broken home
This is a really good one Elvis
My day has been made
Beautiful I don't see I mean I gotta be honest dude. I don't what's the problem here like your mom is look your mom's getting dick down
Yeah, you know, it's like happy for yeah
Say no, this is there's a lot of problems in it. Okay. What do you think? There are a lot of problems. First of all, I have siblings that are older than me and when they start dating close to my age
I am offended. Okay. I am offended like deeply first of all. Do you hear the pain in his voice?
The life is sucked out of his soul
Yeah, I don't even know it's like the top of the year and they're already planning to ruin the end of the year
Yeah, so it's like this is it's like, this is the problem.
The problem is it's affecting your kids.
Okay, that's fair, but also I see what you're saying,
and maybe in a perfect world, no one's mom gets,
at least you don't have to know about
the dumb ass your mom fucks, right?
Like in a perfect world, your mom should be able
to get dick down privately without some pseudo-ripped
influencer who lives in Ohio, right? get dick down privately without some pseudo-ripped influencer
who lives in Ohio, right?
But I guess we need a little more context here
because from the information we have,
his mother's divorced, right?
He seems to be an adult, right?
He never said his age, but this guy's not like
a college kid or a teenager.
The context is there, if you have multiple kids
and this is a grown adult, that means by the time this child was not even born,
y'all were all here.
There's a problem at 24.
Why is that a problem?
24 years old.
She's not gonna marry the fucking guy.
Now's my time to stand up for feminism.
She's just gonna ruin his life?
No, no, no. This isn't healthy.
No, I mean, she didn't, it doesn't seem that serious.
It seems like she went to go visit this kid in Cleveland.
Yeah.
And she's, you know, she probably had some fun.
Yeah, I would say so.
And then she didn't have water kids to know about it,
so it's not like she's planning on marrying him
or anything like that.
She's probably just having a fun time here exactly here's what I'll say
right that it's like this woman is doing the like it's the flip of the real
housewives conversation right she's a divorcee she's on her cougar shit she's
getting fucked but it's when a when a guy fucks a 20 when some rich guy fucks
a 24 year old everybody know it was. No, it was like sick. Awesome. Never, I think that's a problem too.
OK, that's fair.
At least you're consistent.
But in the grand scheme of things,
this is how society works, right?
And if she's just getting dick down by some guy younger
than her, it's not comfortable.
No one wants to think about the specifics
of their parents' sex life.
It's unfortunate that they found out.
So the solution to the problem is you're telling him
to just receive it.
Just, just.
Yeah. It's not his thing.
I mean, his mom's the one receiving it.
He's just hanging out.
He's just kind of standing back,
like just don't get mad about it.
Listen, whoever the car is,
I empathize with you because this is the thing
you grow up, right?
And these same parents is telling you not to do this not to do that not
To do this not to do that and then you got to listen your whole fucking life
Then you wake up one day and they doing all the shit that they told you not to do. Yeah, I want to fight
Well fight you're dealing with a 24 year old Instagram rapper
Which you don't have no girls
Which are girl you don't have no girls
Listen, I know what you're talking about, but let's's be realistic here if this the kind of woman who's gonna
Here's the two things that this it doesn't sound like the Instagram fitness rappers coming to Christmas
They're canceling Christmas even though he's just
Girls vacation
Our parents
Surprise surprise she lives in Florida. It's like like that's just well. That's just sort of
Okay, people in Florida are fucked up. Oh, they never had a pants in you
Do you have some kind of some of the way I think in theory?
Yeah, like his mom should have the right to get dick down and stuff
But I'm kind of with Amina cuz like you just hear it and it's like when you meet like
Someone your friend just started dating and like you really don't like them.
And then, you know, in the flash on that first meeting or whatever,
you just see the next 20 years. You're like,
I just know this person's going to be around.
I hear something in this guy's voice where it's like, I'm not saying she's going
to like marry this fucking guy.
You are not one variation in tone the entire time.
But he was the most concerning part of it.
He sounds over it, but the thing about it, right?
This is the real perspective, right?
That's like someone being like on drugs, right?
And now you have to tailor your life
because they're fucked up, right?
Hold on.
Because the thing is, your dating a 24 year old,
I can't bring my friends around you.
Cause who's the size?
If this is the line that you're now just racing,
you could just be-
Whoa, you guys, is this your mom's?
I know, here's the thing, you're both overreacting here.
If it's like drugs, yes, but the drug I am saying is
it's she's going to an ayahuasca retreat.
She's gonna get her shit, her guts rearranged
for a couple weeks.
This sounds like an ongoing relationship. We don't know that though, right? We do, he's commenting on every photo. She's gonna get her shit her guts rearranged a couple weeks
We don't know that though, right we do he's commenting on every no look that's yeah, that's that's the mark of true love That's gonna last
Everybody knows everybody knows if you can fuck you don't have to do all that cuz you know they gonna come back and fuck you
Why are you coming here's the thing?
He's not invested he's trying to fuck a cougar
a couple times.
You think this guy wants to fucking marry
a 50 year old lady, let's be honest here.
This guy doesn't want to get married,
he doesn't want kids, he's a fitness rapper.
He don't know what he wants, he's 24.
Everybody knows how fitness rappers are.
And in the situation where she fucking gets engaged,
he's clearly trying to get the house, right?
If this is, like I say, keep your,
you stay alert about this, monitor the situation,
but odds are your mom is gonna just get fucked
a couple times and this will fucking go on.
That's my type of situation.
So a hit by this 24 year old
rapping about how he fucks your mother.
And then he's gonna ask you something.
What's more mentally unwell?
Letting this go or keeping tabs on your mom's pussy?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's the point I'm trying to make.
Here's the other thing, I'm willing to bet
that this guy has a tortured,
his mom probably is pretty hot, right?
Probably was, they're divorced from a broken home.
She's probably fun, she's probably like, you know, he's probably had step dads or dads around and he's just
like come on my mom's never gonna get it together and guess what dude maybe she
won't but if if like this is just if she's if this guy's not like taking if
there's some family house that you're gonna like inherit or you and your
parents your brothers are gonna inherit if that's's not threatened, if it's not,
if it doesn't affect your day to day life,
if this guy isn't showing up to family events,
your mom's her own person, maybe she's a dumb bitch,
I don't know, you said it yourself,
that's a possibility, our parents are all flawed
and you gotta live with it and unless this is effective,
unless this is actively affecting your life somehow,
and maybe it will in a couple months.
I don't know, maybe this keeps going it will.
But right now, just the fact that your mom fucked a guy
you don't like, isn't enough to be mad at him.
There's no interaction here.
It's other than what he's seen on the internet.
If it was just a one happenstance, they would not know.
That's what y'all are not reading through this.
If it was just a one time situation.
But he only named one.
No, but I'm not saying she's doing multiple people.
I'm saying this person in particular.
I know, but I'm saying he only named one interaction.
He only named that she went to Cleveland.
But that they found out.
So obviously there has to be more.
No, he said he found out through internet sleuthing.
Which why are you fucking, why are you stalking your mom when she's your ex?
Exactly. Save your mom? Your mom
There's something unhealthy going
Yeah, no get kicked off Airbnb get your Twitter taken listen to Amina. Yeah, those are your options
Never be able to rent the fucking room anywhere else. I'll reach out to everyone who knows. Get yourself kicked off the slopes.
They built the platforms that you stalk your mother on.
By listening to Amina, once you get banned off Instagram,
you'll never be able to see him commenting
on your mom's pictures.
Anyway, here's the thing.
I'd love to talk to this guy maybe on a live call
because the context between his relationship with his mother.
There's something happening here.
Well, for I mean, here's the line that gives it all away is like, she's a dumb bitch.
She's being kind of a dumb bitch.
Yeah.
She raised me and she gave me life.
But and she's probably here's my guess.
She's probably like a hot mom that was still had a pretty active dating life.
And this is just triggering this guy.
She probably just fed up.
I feel like I could see, like as I was watching this,
I was like, I could see this some shit
that I'd go after raising three boys.
And thank you.
And I'm not mean to my mind, but also I'm losing my mind.
We can't just ignore that.
No, but you got girlfriends to tell you that.
Sometimes you gotta like get it out of your system.
Sometimes you gotta.
You don't know this. Amina's feeling it a lot of black. She ain't no friend. Yeah. sometimes you gotta like get out of your system sometimes you gotta
I mean it's filling in a lot of black
yeah
ain't no way she got some friends
not in cleave lives
alright well good luck buddy
yeah man keep your head up save your mom
trapper contact contact elders
if you'd like to call in with more information
on a patreon show
go ahead elders hit this with another one
So I've got a great wife who've been together for 12 years
married for four
But she's kind of got one problem, which is she's a rat
One time her friend
She told me her friend named her baby, just keeping a name.
And I was like, well, that's a gay name.
She went and told her friend immediately.
And now her friend hates me.
And then like more recently, family's coming over Thanksgiving and I didn't really want
her family to come because I haven't been with them in years and they will be staying one day.
And she invited her whole fucking family
and then told them that I didn't want them to be there.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any advice.
That's crazy.
Maybe she's autistic.
Wow, and your wife is the ops.
She is.
You're living with the ops.
Your wife is singing like a bird.
Rosebud would love to get your wife in an interrogation room
when she's working for the FBI.
She would send her right to Guantanamo.
I'm like, oh wow, this lady.
We can make a deal.
This is crazy behavior.
I feel like Andy does this to me a lot.
A lot.
He doesn't mean to,
cause he doesn't think that what he's saying is bad,
but like we had the new nanny come this morning.
And the first thing he says to her is like,
oh yeah, she had like a horribly contagious rash last week.
And I was like, what the?
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
You were the baby.
I'm like, it's cured now.
Why are you telling, like she's talking about the baby.
You're the baby. But I'm like, why's cured now. Why are you telling like, she's talking about the baby? Yeah.
But I'm like, why would you tell her that
when she's not now and now she just thinks we're gross?
Right, right, right.
You know what I mean?
Just offering up information.
I'm like, just offering up info that like,
she doesn't need to know that.
Never go against the family.
No, but yeah. Classic.
This could be a mishap on the white parts,
but it's also like.
But maybe she agrees with you.
Maybe she agrees with you and she's just sort of more open.
This is crazy behavior that like,
if you can't trust your wife.
I'll just tell your friend that they said it was a gay name.
Like obviously that was what's going on.
That was one ear to one ear, that's it.
They don't need to know that.
Like there's circles, there's layers and circles of trust
which is like you have like your best friend.
Like me and I'll just talk shit about people constantly,
right?
We'd never, I would never let any of that leak out.
That's like a level of trust of like,
we've been friends for over 30 years, right?
Your partner in theory should be that level.
It should be like the trust you have with a good,
like a best friend.
Like in a perfect world, you should be able
to be completely free with your partner.
And if they're just, and if anything,
they should lie to protect you from annoying stuff.
Not like be honest and like put you out there.
But can I, can we-
But it's kind of a comparison.
Oh, sorry.
No, can we just unpack something real quick?
Yeah.
In the first sentence, they were together for 12 years,
married for four.
Mm-hmm.
That's eight years of resentment.
Yeah.
That's what do the man think exactly what I was about to say.
That's really good.
That's really good.
At the end of the day, she mad at you.
That's exactly what I was about to say.
So I got some stuff that I need to work out.
She could be doing this subconsciously.
Yeah, that's fair.
But this comes from the eight years that you didn't marry her. Hmm. Yeah
Fucking time
Yeah, she could be just like sort of slipping things in
with her closest family and friends
that she knows they're gonna be like, you gotta leave him.
Yeah.
When she should have been for the eight first years
and got a relationship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And maybe they feel the same way.
Maybe, and she's talked about her family and best friend.
Maybe these are the people that were like, he's gotta go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
These are the people she's vented about him to
for those eight years, that's very interesting.
And is she saying this kind of shit in front of you,
if she's just letting this slip in front of you?
A lot of things you didn't hear.
There's a lot of shit you didn't hear.
Yeah, that's tough.
Yeah.
Sorry, yeah, is this guy blissfully unaware
of his wife hating him?
You have to sit through eight years of her snitching on you.
Just like she said through eight years with your wife.
And here's the other thing, like this is one of the, I mean, so many, that's a great
read on the situation, but so many times the questions on this show really boil down to
have you ever had a conversation about this?
Because so many people have these things
that annoy them about someone close to their life,
that if they were ever like,
hey, you know, this is actually like one of the worst things
anyone's done to me.
Like, could you please not do that anymore?
It might just solve the problem.
She'd be like, oh, I didn't even realize,
like it could be that, it really could be.
I mean, I feel like she shunned up.
I feel like he gave us a few examples, but we don't know what he told the teacher, the
male lady.
Like, yeah, I don't know.
She just talked too much and and here's the other thing.
Right.
The resentment thing is a good point of like, this is the behavior of someone.
She's laying little traps.
Yeah.
For him to step into.
Yes.
And that's the behavior of someone who does have a problem,
but doesn't want to admit it.
She probably doesn't even want,
she probably doesn't even want to admit to herself
how much she resents her husband,
so she just has these little slips
that she knows on some deep level
are going to ruin whole days of his life.
Yeah.
Whatever embarrassment she went through,
now he gotta go through.
Now I feel like a hypocrite,
because I said Andy snitched on me, but I said it on a podcast
Which I feel like is sort of
Don't wait we'll bleep out Andy
We'll bleep out the word of the guy
Who am I
Yeah, you snitching on him right now,
but you just give him an example
of how he just offers information you wish
that he would just know to not tell.
So I don't know.
Don't worry, you guys will come back.
We'll adjudicate it on Stavey's world.
We're working on that.
You're always welcome to come back
in a couple months, you and Andy.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
But to kind of be slightly serious to really like,
it is something worth investigating.
These little cracks in a relationship can be like,
some, and look, it's possible your wife's just kind of like,
doesn't think that much about it.
There's a positive read on this,
where people are just kind of like, absent-minded,
nicer people in you who don't realize like what a
What a commotion she could be just like I'm not I don't judge anything that you're right
Sort of presenting it as information. Yeah, even though I I don't see anything wrong with it
Even though it's hurting the feelings of everyone around
it's hurting the feelings of everyone around me. Also, maybe your family needs to know.
Your family probably needs to know
that you don't want them to say,
because now they're gonna act completely different
and respectful probably.
Like think about it, family that is welcome,
I feel like they overstay, they take up,
they throw it in the sink,
they don't throw out the trash, they don't help out.
Tell your family, hey, he don't even want y'all here,
and they gon they go completely different
They go come in with they own towel
That assumes they respect him which I don't think they do
Given that information to let them know like hey, I don't do so much. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know
I don't know this that could be one way to look at it or some people if they're given that then they turn and then
Then it becomes a passive aggressive off
Yeah, like you know now they're gonna be kind of cunty and cold and whatever and always
Why why did you say that? Why did you tell? Yeah exactly?
I do think at the end of the day a convert
Have you literally talked to your wife about this even once because it is possible?
She just it's something she can correct and she's just like, you know,
doesn't even consider it snitching the way you do.
Yeah.
Because I've been in a situation where I am a shitty judgmental person who has, who's
close to somebody who's very nice and kind and they will just let shit I said in confidence
because they don't live in a world with secrets.
Right?
Like, my whole life would come apart.
Which is a lot of news, a lot of us.
My life would come apart.
Yeah.
If the things I've said about people I even like came out.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, sometimes when you are in a relationship,
whether it's marriage or just close friend
or sibling or whatever,
with a truly kind-hearted person,
they will let, hey, this shit you said slide.
They might even find it funny.
And because they don't live in a world
where they constantly-
Where it's like, you have to live on the defense.
You know what I mean?
Where you're like, this can't ever get out.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I come across that problem all the time.
It's to the point where I tell my friends,
like if you don't want other people to know,
don't tell me.
Because I'm probably either gonna forget,
I'm like in passengers, I'm the worst with that.
You are.
I literally tell someone,
you are really bad with that.
She don't like you and like, oh my bad.
Oh, you gotta fend it by that.
Now you wanna fight her.
I thought that was good information, you should know.
You do that a lot.
I do that a lot.
It's bad, it's bad.
But now I know myself.
But if something, if it's- That's awesome. I know myself.
But if it's actually happened to me, someone told me that I didn't want to be.
But I got over it with the thanks of Rose, but.
Yeah.
We're holding my hands.
We're on.
We're good.
Yeah.
No more.
No more dry snitching.
Right.
Let's focus.
All right. Next question. I'm not sure what that is.
No more dry snitching.
Next question, Eldis.
Hello.
So I've got this roommate that's been living with me for about a year now.
He's been a pretty cool guy to live with.
He's a chilly, so he's fixed himself.
But maybe two months ago ago he was in a
real bad accident on like a bicycle and he had like to go to the hospital for
a bit so i was like kind of taking care of them
getting them to like uh... doctors appointment for stuff i gave him some
money to
when it went to be a lot fucked up on the bike it's completely destroyed his
phone so
you know i'm trying to help the guy get back on the, cause like that's what I would want. But like since
then, he's just been drinking all the fucking time. Like he's been so, so fucking drunk
that the ambulance has come out here to like get him for alcohol withdrawals for like three
fucking times now. And like he's lost his job. He's completely spiraling. I caught him the other day.
He was stealing my cigarettes that I keep on top of the fridge by the door.
You know, like, so the dude stealing from me, he owes me money.
Like he's completely like been spiraling out.
But at the same time, like I feel bad because like if I was in his situation,
I would want someone to kind of help and lift me up
No, yeah, especially at Pagright
At this point in time, this dude like he's been the prison in the past
Get him the fuck out!
He's had a great career as like a scientist, but now he's like disgraced
He told me that like his sister doesn't want anything to do with him
And I'm just like wow like you're actually just kind of a piece of shit
And maybe I don't want to be actually just kind of a piece of shit.
And maybe I don't want to be taken advantage of by a piece of shit.
So my question really is like, at what point in time does like charity stop being worth
it?
Like what point in time?
Like a long time ago.
Like the point here right in the back there.
My desire to help someone who's in a really bad situation run up against their desire
to just be an asshole
and not help themselves.
I don't know.
That was pretty long.
Anyway, I appreciate you.
Dude, I've been-
He's happening.
I was in this situation.
I hit us with it.
I was dating a guy who-
the ambulance had to come because of alcohol withdrawals.
He started stealing.
His family didn't want anything to do with him.
It was like-
and every time he drank, he would get into some kind of fucking accident
I I can almost guarantee that the bike thing was a lie alcohol related
probably yeah true true true
and
Now that he's got you kind of like being his nurse, you're stuck in this situation.
I guarantee you he'll find another one,
fucking cut this motherfucker loose.
He's gotta move out.
That's what I was like.
You still calling him a roommate.
Change the fucking locks,
get him out of your apartment like,
just let him be.
And you just move.
Yeah, or move.
And at least in your situation,
I mean not at least, but it's like,
you were dating, there's an emotional element to it, there's other.
It was still insane.
It was, no, but I know,
but at least I'm saying, I get it.
This guy, you just, what, your Craigslist room?
Like what kind of roomage does he say all this?
It's just some fucking guy that you know.
It's like, and I get it, it's like the first,
the first, you know, the first couple of weeks
or even a month where you're like,
damn, you probably like this guy,
he's falling on hard times,
you wanna be a good guy and help him out.
But it's like, when it's clear that even you're
like being a good person and kind of overdoing it,
cause like, look, as a roommate,
you don't, you know, if you just don't know the guy,
you don't technically owe him anything,
you have no bond, you have no nothing.
It's nice to be a good guy.
If you're living with somebody who's nice to be a good guy.
If you're living with somebody who's getting
over some kind of injury, it's like,
all right, take his packages up, help him, whatever.
But don't, oh, lend him money, he's stealing from you.
And then once you see that your help didn't result
in him getting back on his feet,
and you see him kind of falling into some kind of negative.
That the help is making it worse.
Or that it just doesn't even matter. The help is making it worse. Or that it just even, doesn't even matter.
The help is like, this guy's on his own shit, right?
Like, you could help him, you could not help him,
he's probably gonna fucking spiral one way or the other.
Once you see that you're not really having an effect,
you're kind of a bystander,
and you're even like, bystander at best,
worst case he's a fucking parasite.
So that's like ruining your shit.
Once it starts actively ruining your quality of life
is when you're like, especially if this guy is,
maybe a little different, if it was a family member
or somebody you care deeply about,
he's a fucking roommate.
It's like, if we lived in a good society,
you and this man would have never met.
If we lived in a society where we could live as human beings
and people in their 30s could just have their own apartments,
you wouldn't know this fucking guy.
So like, you know what I mean?
Like, you know, you've done more than enough
and you gotta do whatever you can
to just kind of minimize this.
I would say even if you buy your way out of the lease,
buy your way out of the lease and fucking beat it.
As quickly as possible.
I'm reading this email like,
how many lives have this man lived?
Oh, so he's like, disgraced scientist.
He sounds cool.
This guy sounds like a cool friend.
I would hang out with him, but I wouldn't owe him.
I wouldn't lend him money.
Disgraced scientist.
No, once your boundaries start being stepped on,
like, on a repeated basis, you have to remove yourself
from the situation.
I wouldn't even kick him out.
I would just disappear, tell the landlord,
it's on y'all and be out.
Yeah, I'm like, if you tell me
that you were a disgraced scientist
and you've been to prison
and you now have been in some sort of
life-altering bike accident, I'm out.
Like, all right, I'm not gonna stick around for chapter three.
That's the way to look.
That's cool though.
He was like, I like the thing about this guy
getting fucked up and trying to recreate spider-man in his lab
He's making like orphans get bitten by radioactive spiders. They're all like getting cancer. He's like oh my bad
I was thinking it'd be cool if they could get on fucking walls
That's not your roommate at this point. Yeah, once the person to stop paying rent, that's not your roommate.
No, yeah, that should have been the first point we made.
Yeah, like, oh no, that's the first, no, no.
Yeah, bro, I mean, again, it'd be different
if this was even a friend,
but this is literally a roommate, that's crazy.
Yeah, he's gotta go.
You gotta get the fuck out of there.
Unless he starts fucking you.
Unless the dick is too good.
Oh my God.
Unless the dick is too sweet to let him go to cut ties.
Yeah, that's terrible!
Yeah.
That buys him an extra two, three months.
After that, yeah, depending, yeah.
There's a sliding scale of how good the dick is to how much credit card debt you're willing to go into to support his lifestyle.
Yeah, I'm not gonna miss it.
Alright, here's another one, Eldis. That was refreshing because it was like there was an obvious answer.
Cotton dry, yeah.
These, yeah.
Some of these can be a little complicated, but here we go, Eldis.
What do we got?
What's up, Stav?
I'm dealing with a love life dilemma and I need your advice.
Okay.
So, I dated this girl for a year and things didn't really work out.
But now I'm talking to her again and trying to figure out if I want to date her because
I really think she might be the one. But it comes with a pretty big red flag. So we're
both 26 now. Okay. But when she was 21 and she was a senior in college, she was a nanny.
And she ended up having an affair with the dad of the family who's a nanny for And the wife found out he got a divorce and they were swingers actually together for three years
And the biggest fetish that she had during the swing time was DVP
Which is double bad penetration
Exactly
Damn bro
Damn bro. Imagine.
How is she the one?
How?
How?
How do you know all this?
And by the way, imagine having a little dick.
A woman telling you her thing is getting fucked by two big dicks at once.
You're like, I didn't believe in my dick to begin with.
You tell them that you need two dicks.
My dick is little for one.
That is crazy. Why do people do My dick is little for one. That is crazy.
Why do people do this?
She's the one.
And the one reason how she's not the one.
Can I also say the DVP thing?
So these guys are really rubbing dicks here.
Like, I don't understand the like, what's the appeal?
I don't understand the mechanics of it.
First of all, just squeezing in there.
Yeah, how do you do it?
Who's like are you guys, are they?
Are these men's scissor?
Is one coming down, is one like
a little off the ceiling?
Your nuts have to be masked.
Your nuts, you know those things on office, on desks?
Where it's like the balls getting in the pendulum balls?
That's what your nuts are looking like
while you're both fucking this girl
Let's get let's get to the bottom. I'm sorry to I just there was enough to just have a little interlude, but let's get let's get Let's finish this my goodness
Which is double badginal penetration
Exactly what it sounds like and they were swinging like every other week
So for like three years she was getting DVP basically every other weekend
Every other weekend three years 52 weeks
divided by 22
26 times a year three that's 75 that's 75 double DVP
That's a lot, bro. All right, let's keep going. She's the one that's 150 dicks if you count the
Keep it moving
When she talks about it now, she says it's a regret a
75 dick regret
Every other weekend regret.
A buy monthly on the calendar regret.
That was on her Google calendar.
That's a job.
Damn dude.
Alright, let's keep it going.
I'll just, sorry.
I'll be broke up because I couldn't get over this.
And I'm talking to her again.
She's gone through a ton of therapy.
If you ever met her in person, you would never be able to tell this.
She has the demeanor of a kindergarten teacher.
Oh, my God.
And she's just a really sweet girl.
And if you hit me with the men in black, like a race, mind thing, and I didn't know anything
about her past, it wouldn't even be a question.
I would marry her tomorrow because I've never connected with a person on this level.
And we honestly
just clicked and I really truly love her. I just can't bring myself to get over this
fact and knowing all that I know about her. So am I being foolish and judgmental and naive
to miss out on potentially bearing the person that I have the best connection with out of
any girl I've ever met over some shit she did in her past and force I just a lot she did a lot. Thank you. Thanks. Love you, baby. Oh, I love you, baby
This is great. I mean, okay. This is why
Because look I also
Philosophically I am of the opinion of like yeah, dude
Everyone's too uptight do whatever you want who gives gives a fuck? But there is, this is really pushing,
like even like sex workers, stripper, like whatever it is,
right?
I've dated people like that, I don't give a fuck.
I would date this girl, whatever,
but it's like this is really pushing the limits of,
it's also the amount of information.
Like why did he need to know all that?
She could have said,
Y'all can't, this is not gonna,
she has to move.
She had just said swinging and left it alone.
She was like, look, yeah, I had an affair with this guy.
I had a crazy period of my life
where we were going to sex parties and stuff.
It was a weird time.
I felt, I was young.
I felt a little taken advantage of.
It was a wild time.
You said she lies and just cuss.
Yeah, lying, sugar coated.
It was a little rapey.
Yeah, I mean, by the way. You just say you got raped. That'll be better. But I'm just like, okay. You say she lies and just lies and sugar coated was a little
Say you got raped that'll be better
Okay, but 21 if you're the if you're the like if you're the like a au pair and some like rich guy
There's like I'm not saying like I even I I almost didn't even blink an eye at the whole au pair thing because I was like well That's classic. that's a classic Yeah, that's a tale as old as time tales oldest time, but the DVP every other weekend
Why did he need to know that no why did you tell him that lady? No one needs to know that just tell him you had
As a crazy time a crazy like weird time you regret yeah, that's
You you have to think like he would have asked for more specifics once he got what he asked how many dicks were in your pussy
What do you ask that many specifics? I don't know imagine imagine you're like crazy
22 20 he said he's 26
So you know presumably he's known for like at least a year or two about this if he's dated her in the past and it's like
You get a crumb and like even if you don't want to like your curiosity
Pulled the loose thread
you don't want to like your curiosity you pulled the loose thread at the sweater like if she even offers up the swingers party thing I think that's where
you get into the you're like you know what I mean I think the way my head is
hurting and I don't know neither one of these suit and now I don't have I don't
have a vagina what DVP does that sound even does that sound interesting to
either of you two no
That's what I mean. It seems pretty extreme to do for three years
Yeah, to go like like if you did that every other weekend for three years
You're into that
You're gonna go back to that. Yeah, the therapy being like the solving thing. I'm like, well, listen, conversion camp doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think we've been strong.
OK, that's why my theory here is that she's young.
This guy is like maybe the guy she, you know, the rich guy
that she like cheated on and then like was in a,
it does feel a little like like Dom sub type of shit
where it's like he's some older guy who like kinda,
it's not grooming I guess really, cause she's 21,
but it's like, you know, takes her under,
kinda grooming and it's like,
when she says she regrets it, to me it feels,
and a lot of people who are in like cuck shit,
like half of them are like the pathetic cuck guys,
whatever, but some of them are like,
no I do this cause I really don't value this woman like a lot of them are like this is
just some fucking dumb bitch that all you guys can that's how much control I
have over her and maybe he's also a little weird because he's presumably the
one rubbing his cock with the other guy's cock in her pussy sounds to me
like he's she did kind of get into some like weird dark like semi fucked up relationship stuff and
that I could see that that's that's just my theory armchair quarterback from
here kind of thing but like and I feel for our friend here because look
ultimately philosophically I have to come down on the like look man the
problem here is how much of her past you know yeah it's not that she did some shit that you don't like.
And it's like, and it's also like you can maybe empathize
with her and also she might not be in touch with her feelings
about the whole thing.
Cause if you're in some weird,
she's Bengali relationship.
And she's still young.
In her 30s, she's going to be like,
Jesus, that was fucked up.
You know what I mean?
And so I don't know.
That's my hunch.
This is completely like whatever, this is completely,
this is just, but what I would tell you is like,
if that's how you feel about her,
you have to work on just like,
you have to kind of give yourself the men in black thing
and like feel out the relationship.
But I will also say that ultimately,
if you're giving this a real chance
and you just, it just does not feel good for you,
it sucks because this shouldn't be an issue,
she maybe shouldn't have been that forthright,
maybe she's not even, she didn't really even understand
how she felt about it, whatever, whatever,
that the issue is how much you know about this person's past
and even though theoretically and philosophically,
we can say, hey, what a person did before you got there
doesn't matter.
At the end of the day, you have to be happy
in a relationship.
And if you're just, you're cuddling, you're having a,
you're apple picking, and then you're lifting her up.
And you see two dicks.
You have the like, you know what I mean?
Like you snap into like, like two huge,
and you're like, ah.
He said he will marry her tomorrow.
Don't rush.
Yeah.
Slow your ass down.
Not tomorrow, not the next day, and maybe not the next.
You got to get it in time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would give it time.
Yeah.
I would give it some time.
That made me want to smoke a cigarette.
Yeah.
That's stressful.
That's crazy, yeah.
The fuck?
I feel like for me, it just comes down to like, you know,
could I do this?
Like, could I live with that?
Like, I could live with that.
Like if I'm in my 40s or something,
thinking of myself at like 26, it would haunt me.
That's a great point.
I have a sick old day.
26 is a lot different.
You're right.
I cannot sit with that like at 26.
No, that's a good perspective.
How many connections have you not had?
Like you can have so many more.
Yeah.
I'll have a good, what could be?
That's also a very good point.
At 26, you don't even know who you're,
how you'd marry, who you'd marry, whatever.
Yeah, I feel like 26 is like when your brain is fully formed.
Like finally.
But it's also on the early end of when you do know, right?
Like certain people, like I don't think it's, it's not like he's a fucking, not in the,
they're kids, kids, they're like at the cusp of real adulthood.
It's the very beginning of it.
So it's not an impossibility, but at the, you know, at the same time, it, dude, it really
comes down to, it shouldn't matter, but at the end of the day, we're all human beings,
and if it does matter to you,
then it matters.
Then it fucks up the relationship, it just does, right?
And if you care enough about it to try and get it
to not matter to you, I don't know how you do that, right?
But good luck, whatever.
Maybe over time it just does, it stops mattering to you,
but that's really what it comes down to, bro.
It's like, I think it's worth
trying to have a relationship with somebody you have these feelings about, but if you do and you
give it a real honest shot, and it just does fucking undercut you eventually, then maybe you just,
it wasn't meant to be. And I would say give it time and pay attention to how you're feeling.
And then when, if it gets to a point where you're like, all right, this is affecting my behavior and my trust
and my, you know, then you fucking bail.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's sad, but it's like, hey, the world sucks,
Dick and we're all gonna die and, you know,
you got robbed of joy from this guy
who was turning your bitch out when she was 22.
Who is this guy?
You didn't know more about this Nanny family.
He's probably some guy on Epstein's Island.
I mean, whoever this guy was, was on the flight logs.
He was sitting next to Steven.
He was plugging in Steven Hawkins' wheelchair.
I was talking, I believed in him for like two seconds
and then he continues and you're just like, okay.
Oh, God, oh no.
Oh no.
That's the beauty of the show.
It's so funny.
We swing wildly.
She could have been taken advantage of, you know?
But anyway, so this guy was turning your bitch out.
And you're like, well, that is what was happening.
I'm not gonna mince words with my friend here.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
Yeah, yeah, no, it wasn't good.
Whatever went down, it wasn't good.
It was a lot.
I gotta go, so should I just head out?
Okay, all right, yeah.
We're basically podcasting in shifts.
You got the early shifts?
Yep.
Thanks, Amina, thank you so much.
All therapy.
Please go, yeah.
Amina's going to therapy.
I'm gonna scoot in.
Scooch over.
Go ahead.
See y'all.
Bye, Amina.
Thanks, Amina, that was great.
Hey, so I guess you have nothing to plug?
Oh, no, no, no. All right. Email us, we'll put it in the episode, Perfect thanks Amina that was great. Hey, so I guess you have nothing to plug
All right email email us we'll put it in the episode wherever you need to plug All right, I love this. I love shift podcast plug my therapist
I mean is like Amina puts the she emails you the address of the ladies Airbnb
You can throw a brick through that window that would mean a lot for me.
Yeah.
Um, alright, let's do a couple more. Just us gals, Rosie.
Alright.
And, uh, you know, I think this has been a great app. We've, we really got some great calls here, Elders.
It's been really fun.
I, I'm really, I'm, I have a thing, especially the next few episodes we do will be bad because you used all the good ones here.
Damn.
What do you think?
We'll have to wait and see.
Let the people decide.
Leave your comments.
Got it.
Yes.
Let the public decide.
God damn, you're fucking bad at your job.
Alright, what do we got here, Eldis? What's up, style of Eldis guest. My name's Joe. I've been
in a relationship for eight years. We have a house together. I love my partner. She was with me
through some life changes, lost my parents. I want to be with her for life, I love her, but I can't stop thinking
about women with bigger titties.
I feel I never got pussy from a woman with big ass titties.
Maybe lost her life.
I've only ever been with less than 10 women and pretty damn much, but I can't help feeling
depressed when I think about overf I don't know anyone else.
I even know our sex life is good.
Tried to get to that.
Oh my god.
I'm by watching porn.
That's not how you do it.
Trying to get off that because it fucks with your brain too much.
She was out of town for a week recently,
and I was kind of jonesing.
Oh my god.
Went to a strip club and got a dance from a stripper
with some nice ass titties.
I thought that would kind of reset my mind.
Oh yeah, that's what it would do.
Yeah, it all fits in.
I don't think so.
So I wouldn't feel the need to look at porn anymore.
That girl was ridiculous.
And now I just fantasize about her.
This is insane dude.
I spiked it up with my partner but she's a bit conventional in that department. We both bust pretty often and have sex often enough, but I still dream about those.
What advice do you have for me on this most basic? Holy shit. Thanks.
Wait, what was that last line? What advice do you have for me on this most basic human?
Like, is it whatever? Problem? Yeah, most basic, something like that like that okay so this is all I
mean I love the idea that his desire for much he's gonna fix the desire for like
big tits by watching more pornography he's like hey stop I'm addicted to
drugs are ruining my marriage so I think I would just do a little crush
smoke a little crap I just do all the drugs in my apartment and I think I would just do a little, smoke a little crack. If I just do all the drugs in my apartment
and I don't buy more.
Yeah, I'll be out.
And then sure, I might go to where they make the drugs
and get some fresh, but that'll be over
because then I'll remember how much I like the drugs.
Yeah, I mean, I can dabble a little bit in crack.
And when my wife's away.
Yeah, only when my wife's away and then I don't need it anymore.
This is fucking crazy.
Okay, so your problem is you have to scroll all the way up all this to the call where
he's saying she's great, they've been in relationship for eight years, they have a house together,
you know, gone through life changes together.
It was wicked when you lost your parents.
But I just wish you had bigger tits.
Now, ah.
Well, you know, she, obviously she's fallen short.
Yeah, how do you think, now let me ask you this.
How does he think she feels about him?
Like, do you know what I mean?
It's like, are you, how are you in Adonis here, dude?
Yeah.
Like, what are we talking about, bro?
It's like, yeah, you want, I'm sure you want a,
I don't know, you want to live on a beach,
you want a better house, like this is who you are,
your partner is who you are.
And like you're not, it's just like,
you do need to get off boring and you can't go to strip
class.
Yeah, I think to me it seems like a little bit
sex addict-y.
For sure, for sure. You know what I mean? Like it's like a little bit sex addict-y. For sure.
You know what I mean?
Like it's like, cause it's just not,
you're not gonna solve this problem.
Like you, what?
Yeah, it's like, there's no,
and it's also like you're just thinking
about an attribute of a person.
It's not like you've fallen in love
with someone you've forged the connection with.
You're like, anyone with huge tits I'd like to fuck.
Yeah.
And that is like more about pure sex than it is anything else.
And I guess there is something to that.
I mean, they've been in a relationship for eight years.
There's something to, if you're in a long-term relationship,
and you know, I've never been in a relationship
longer than like a couple years,
so it's never really hit me,
but it's like if you're in a long-term relationship
with somebody that you're with, you're married, you have property together, whatever, yeah, I assume it's never really hit me, but it's like if you're in a long-term relationship with somebody that you you're with you're married
You have property together, whatever. Yeah, I assume it's a natural thing that you're gonna eventually like you're gonna want to fuck
Different you're gonna look at other people and like want to be with other people, but it's it's just it is what it is
Yeah, you just got to go like nah. Yeah, it's like do you want bigger titties more than you want?
like security and you know being with the person that helped you through major life changes
Do you want to fuck do you want to pay to fuck someone with huge tits and then lose your house?
Yeah, do you want to pay half of your home?
Yeah, is that how much you want to fuck big tits? Yeah, I think that's really the question because if you do hey man
You pay the pay the, pay the piper.
But I don't think you do, buddy.
And there's no way for you to pull it off.
I can tell from the voicemail, I can tell by your delivery,
you don't have the charisma to cheat.
You're not going to be able to pull it off.
You're not going to be able to convince her
that you deserve big tits every once in a while.
But you know, sometimes I've been surprised. Like there's sometimes it's just believing you deserve big tits every once in a while. But you know, sometimes I've been surprised.
Like there's sometimes it's just believing you deserve it.
That's true.
And he does believe it in a way that he doesn't.
Like he does believe it in a way he doesn't deserve it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And your cruising, here's the path you're on.
Paying for pussy, which again,
I don't have a philosophical problem with,
but I do if it's cheating on somebody who recently lost her parents. Well, no, I don't have I don't have a philosophical problem with but I do if it's Cheating on somebody who you recently lost her parents
I think it was she's saying with parents
That's what so yeah, yeah, it's even worse like oh man. I think I don't know which one's worse. They're both bad
They're both bad anyways. I mean either way. I think I think what you're I don't know maybe
it's like you what you're craving is like lack of intimacy if you're if you're
craving someone different from anyone you've ever been with yeah and you just
like lost parents and it's like you're in a weird place probably
psychologically too but definitely feeding it with porn and going to and
by the way dude Jonesing you're Jonesing for what dude when you're feeling that way beat off. Yeah
Beat off and you won't any time you're having these destructive thoughts
Let one loose and you'll be like
And try just try beating off not to porn not to porn. I think yeah, I think
Just try beating off not to porn not to porn. I think yeah, I think
You have you are you're dabbling you're in a dangerous place. I've been there myself I'm lucky that I've never had to there's never been a person I care about who's paying for it
I've never been in that serious
You're gonna be the one paying for it. You know, I mean, so it's like it's one of those things where
Yeah, but that's hard to see.
There's a mountain, it's like a,
it's like instead of fog clouding your way,
it's just two fat tits are in front of your eyes.
Yeah.
And you can't see the future where you're alone
in a one bedroom.
You just got fucking nipples for pupils.
Yeah.
And listen, I do empathize with this guy.
I'm not here to cast judgment.
It's kind of why I took the backseat there.
Yeah, yeah.
You wanna take this?
But, and look, I've never been,
here's the thing, I've never gotten to the point
when I've been in a relationship,
it's been like, although I guess early on,
I have had, you know what, I will say actually,
I have ruined relationships by not committing
because I theoretically wanted to just fuck.
It wasn't big tits necessarily for me,
although, you know, I wasn't turning them down,
but it was just like wanting to fuck more women
at that point in my life.
And having the, having like being away from that right now,
it's like I do regret those decisions.
I like I have ruined good relationships or even like people I from that right now, it's like I do regret those decisions. I have ruined good relationships
or even like people I went on to date,
it's like we had a weird beginning to our relationship
because I was fucking dumb and like was fucking horny
and like kind of light sex addict-y
and it was like, it was putting this
and it was in a time in my life where I was,
you know, not trying to drink, not trying to smoke weed,
not trying to eat.
And all I had was like acting out in that way.
And I will tell you personally, it ruined shit for me.
I regret it.
I wish I hadn't behaved that way.
I don't even remember the girls I fucked,
but I remember the girl that like,
who's the relationship I fucked up.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean, if you just look at this from just baseline,
like the porn
made it worse the stripper made it worse yeah like each time you go further
into this it will be worse and worse yeah if that's the path you want to
continue on go ahead but there's no way to come your way out of this yeah there
you know there's there's no way it's that you're like it's this is the line of thinking where it's like,
well, if I just fuck one girl with big tits once,
I'll be cured, no you won't.
It was like, when they have to kill a bear
when it tastes human flesh,
it's like, that's what will happen to your relationship.
It's over.
You will keep wanting to fuck big tits.
So you gotta make a, you gotta decide, are you- how big of a piece of shit are you?
And maybe you're a big scumbag. That's possible.
Maybe you're not meant for the nice domestic life, maybe you're meant to
have a part- you know, have a shitty job, not have a family,
pay for pussy the rest of your life, have a roommate until you're 48, but-
Or maybe he's got a great job and you just want to live like American psycho.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Without the murder.
And you have to decide what's important to you.
I would say you love your partner.
She's been there for you.
You know.
Don't do.
Maybe take the win.
Yeah.
Take the nice win or descend into fucking sex addiction and could be kind of fun and
maybe kill yourself at the end when you realize how much you've lost or it was a while ride a memoir
write a memoir make it a movie get an option you know that's not gonna happen
like you're not that interesting you're not don't listen to Rosebud on that one
your options really are the memoirs gonna be like I was sitting at my desk at
work filling out an excel sheet now I was thinking about these big ass titties. Oh my gosh, I just ended up in the other room.
And then I looked up some porn,
some tics with some awesome big tits.
It was fucking cool.
Then I called a podcast.
But yeah dude, this is,
Eldis, you're a married man.
You know, you're happily married, freshly married,
so maybe you're not eight years in, but how about a married man's perspective on this question?
Um, I don't know. I think he should really do some soul searching
Why he's so hung up on the tits. Yeah. Yeah sex. It was just dead mom have huge tits
Freudian yeah, you're not gonna bring your mom back to life by cheating
with a fat titted stripper I would be interested to know how big his mom's tits were
you call back in with an update buddy?
mom for real I'm so serious if his mom had huge tits we got an answer
that's it I mean he bass it sounds like he definitely needs to go to therapy. Oh yeah. I feel like when your parents die. Yeah. Your your identity is
transformed so much. That's a good point. You actually are the best person you've
dealt with both of these. Yeah. I mean you haven't you know almost ruined your life
in search of bigger kids but you lost your parents you have a great partner
that was with you through it. Yeah. As far as I know it hasn't made you want to
cheat. It's actually done the quite opposite. Yeah. So maybe that's a good sign. It's like if
you're feeling that way after somebody helped you through something like this,
go to therapy, figure your shit out. You have more to you have more to figure out than just the
big tits thing. Yeah. Yeah. So there you go buddy. Good luck. What would you say? One more Eldis?
What do you say one more eldest? Yeah, let's do a cute little fun one.
Cute little fun one.
Bring the temperature.
To bring us home.
Yeah.
Hey, Stobby.
Hey, Eldest.
Hey, guest.
My girlfriend's here.
She, maybe once a month, likes to just poke my blood My girlfriend's here. She maybe once a month likes to just poke my
butthole. Clothes on. My clothes are on. I don't love it. It makes her happy and I
like to see her happy but I don't I don't love when she pokes my butthole and
earlier like just now she did it and I said it was the assault and she didn't
like that I said it which okay maybe a little bit too far
uh... would we go from here
i just feel like me and millions of other girls
understand the urge
it's not a fact
it's not a fact that you know
and i don't i don't get it she said it's like a sex thing it's not a sex thing and i don't get it, she said it's like
me tickling her
when she tells me to stop
i don't think it's a one-to-one
she thinks it is
okay
uh... lovey-stopy, shout out
lovey-lady, thanks
interesting, interesting
a nice like playful butthole poke
i do that you do a butthole poke. I do that. Yeah
He also doesn't like it
For me this is like
It sounds like she's doing it. Do you do it a lot like it? This sounds like this girl's doing it pretty frequently
And it's no I don't do it a lot. Oh, you got to pick your spots. I think it when we lived in a walk-up
It was more it was more common.
Right, yeah.
Because it would just be right there.
Sure, that's a classic move.
It's from just from the sounds of it.
It sounds like she's doing it when they're like hanging out
in the kitchen and shit.
Yeah.
And she's just like fucking with him.
It's like, yeah.
It's like a belly poke or something.
Like going for a poke in the asshole,
like that sounds like something like me and Stav
might do to each other more than
Me and my wife or something. You know, I feel like locker roomie. Yeah, I can be like, oh, you're gay, dude
You liked it like doing something like that
Yeah, yeah now this guy clearly has a little bit of a hang up here
Uh-huh. I'm taking her side. He seems kind of annoying about it
He's like it's like now unless she's what kind of numbers are we talking here?
How many times a day?
She says once a month.
Maybe once a month.
Yeah, maybe once a month.
Once a month, nothing.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, you're a fucking loser.
Yeah, if it's once a month, this is you're a fucking clown, dude.
Played again in the beginning.
Did you say once a month or maybe trans sometimes transcribes wrong?
Hey, so I hail this hey guess
My open here
She maybe once a month like she just
Yeah, you got no case brother. Yeah, you're a fucking loser beat it. We're on the woman's side here
Now I hope she pegs you yeah, you should get your ass fucked just for complaining this much
About a little clothed bughole poke a little fear exposure
Yeah, all right good good eldest very nice
Very nice and you know this but this what happens
He I know that we're we're destined for like three straight episodes with horrible calls
He pitched a perfect game today.
I will tip my hat to you.
We had banger after banger.
Thank you.
Really great game and I can't wait to see what we got coming up.
Tune in and find out.
Tune in and find out in upcoming weeks.
It's going to be me calling just being like, hey,
how are the picks?
Just wondering how you guys are doing.
Rose, but thanks for coming. Anything you want to plug, buddy? I was just wondering how you guys are doing.
Rose, but thanks for coming.
Thanks for having me.
Anything you want to plug, buddy?
I got a new set on Netflix, verified stand up.
There you go.
Just follow me on Instagram and TikTok.
I don't have Twitter anymore.
Nice, dude.
I can't log on on my phone anymore. Yeah, so I just have it on my computer
Yeah, it's like we'll post like promotional stuff, but yeah
I'm basically on insta tick-tock, but it has gotten worse
I only I only miss it when something horrible is happening on television and I want to see even then it's not as good as it used to
Be fair. No, yeah algorithms all fucked up. It used to be something cool happened. It's like, yeah
Let's go to Twitter at least it'll be fun to see yeah you know what people are saying and
it's like she's all fucked up anyway follow Rosebud watch her watch their set
on Netflix Amina will put her plugs in here if she emails Eldis I think we're
off the by the time this comes out we're way off the road I hope yeah hopefully
I this coming out a little bit in a the road. Are you? Yeah, hopefully. Good.
This is coming out a little bit in a little bit,
but I have a couple last minute shows
that I'm about to do, folks.
Sorry to unveil, to peel back the curtain,
but then I'm off the road for a while,
so nothing really to plug except the show.
Hey, we've never done this, but give us a review on it.
Why not?
Why not try making this show successful?
We've actually never tried to do that. It's gotten this far without us
trying so we're gonna try a little bit more on this show. Actually Eldis is a
whole job now because we're off the road is the podcast so if Eldis is doing
good job then maybe we're actually more successful but are we really gonna bet
on that folks? This show goes downhill when Eldis starts paying more attention to it.
Thanks, Rosebud, and we'll see you next time, guys.
Bye-bye.
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?
How long?