Stavvy's World - #69 - Ian Fidance and Mike Recine

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Friends of the pod Ian Fidance and Mike Recine return to celebrate Greek Independence Day and discuss bathroom etiquette, famous Greek figures in history, the dastardly Ottomans, Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles, Mike's tomato sauce, Bernie Mac, Eddie Griffin, Google results for their names, and much more. Ian, Mike, and Stav help callers including a guy who has a history with his brother's baby mama, and a sperm donor who's wondering if he should tell his parents he's donating to a friend. Watch Mike Recine's new special 'I'm Normal' out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjt3mkpvquw Follow Mike Recine on social media: http://instagram.com/mikerecinecomedy https://twitter.com/mikerecine https://www.youtube.com/MichaelRecine Check out Mike Recine's podcast Out for Smokes: https://www.youtube.com/@outforsmokespod https://www.patreon.com/OutForSmokes Watch Ian Fidance special 'Wild, Happy and Free' coming out on 4/4! Check out Ian's podcast Bein' Ian with Jordan: https://www.youtube.com/@BeinIanPodhttps://www.patreon.com/BeinIanpod Follow Ian Fidance on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ianimal69 Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Oppa! Welcome everybody to Stavisworld 904 800 Stav. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. This is a very, this is a joyous day. It's Greek Independence Day today, fellas. Oh. Oppa! Yep. Seignoriiiisoportigiiiis. Quiet. Sorry. Put your hat back on. You don't get to pay respects to the great Greek nation. Doesn't look like you're paying much respects either. The first Ian bomb of the day, folks. We're on the board!

Greek Independence Day. So I had to bring the two people that the Italians, the Romans stole everything from us and a man who lives his life as homosexual as the ancient Greeks. Mike Racine! Two people that both continue the Greek legacy in their own ways. Yes. Ian and Mike. Two favorites, two Stavisworld. Two Stavisworld absolute faves. Both have, Mike Special just came out. What's it called? It's called I'm Normal.

I'm Normal. Get it right now on YouTube. Pause this right now. Go watch that. Give it a click. Give it a click you animals. The guy's got a family. Check out the link in the bio. Link in the bio. I do and I would love it if you could just just watch it Yeah, you know literally please watch it Mike's one of the funniest guys. Yeah, well, let's just say of the people on this couch Definitely watch Mike's And we've got another guy who I really love

Funniest guys. And we've got another guy who I really love. He is so desperate for, like, affection he didn't realize I was shitting on his comedy by being like, one guy's funny and I love this other guy. You know what, I did not realize it until you explained it. He was like, that was really nice. I love you too, man. Thank you. Do you have, when's your special coming out?? You said you're, you know yet or no?

It is out. This is coming out. This is coming out when? Greek Independence Day, March 25th as we all know. Oh yeah, then it's coming out on Ian Independence Day, April 4th. Oh, so we're right in the middle. Mike's just came out, Ian's is coming out next Yes. Two great specials from two great friends of mine. Ian Fiedeant's Wild Happy and Free. YouTube.com slash Ian Fiedeant. I'm sorry it's called Wild Happy and Free. Yeah. Are you a groove back.

Yeah, you gotta be good, you gotta be bold. And if you really love the specials guys, go to Home Goods. You'll find a wooden sign with those words written on it as well. That's good merch. Oh my god. Ian's gonna go get the clearance rack at Marshall's and resell wild, happy and free. I swear to god I was thinking of calling it Live Left. That's good next that would emerge don't you sell people enough bullshit all the time. Yeah, what's your merch? What's the Ian merch store my merch? Yeah, I like that. I'm fucking sick merch even like the peddler from Oklahoma. Yeah, I got fucking

Marlboro shirts that say finance and on the back it's the Marlboro insignia and it says I F Sig Ska Kat. And then I got shirts that look like suicidal tendencies. It says Ian finance. I got a trucker hat on it says Wild Appian free. That's awesome dude. That's great. I got some other sick stuff.

Go to coldcutsmerch.com slash Ian finance. Cold cuts merch. Yeah, Johnny cold cuts. Johnny cold cuts, nice. slash cold cuts merch. Yes, then a cold cuts Johnny cold cuts Yeah, the friend of yours Mike Oh Joe DeRosa's doing Joey cold cuts He's doing your merch to god I can't wait I would love to see the usurious rates Ian is paying on from Johnny cold cuts calm probably taking 70% of your merch I would love to see the usurious rates Ian is paying on from Johnny cold cuts calm

I'm probably taking 70% of your merch If I if I pay 40 bucks for sure I net I don't I'm just guessing that's just my guess. No, it's good Point rescinded. Yeah, and I got a great idea. We'll sell beer koozies with your name on it Take 75 My merch I had t-shirts for a little bit that I'm selling just their email, you know I was doing it kind of old-fashioned you still selling pasta sauce. No, no, that was awesome though. That was yeah Thanks. My heart's not really in it anymore. It's kind of a pain. You're out of the pasta sauce

It's hard to shit yeah That's tough What happened man? What was the end of the pasta sauce for you? I think I just got tired of carrying the jars around there was a lot. I do remember you selling them at funny mom You just double parked your car Come on everybody pop the trunk in these fucking like these like you know come down fans like thank you mr. Racine thank you for your basil sauce those were good times man good sauce I had a jar myself very good sauce very good sauce got it from you at the creek yeah yeah wow you know that's beautiful man

memory hi why let me ask you this in why did you feel the need to you were cut? When did you leave your house here? We go well? It's one thing ahead the moment you walked into my home you started shitting you needed to shit Which feels like have you been out all day? I have where were you before this podcasting and who And whose facilities were you at before this? My podcast. Your person, so you were at your house? I was at my house!

You couldn't shit in your own house? I'm on the Indians defense. The bathroom at Gas Digital is disgusting. Oh yeah, you live there, that's right. You know where I live, DK. You're on the podcast. Some say too often. Anyway, I podcast, dude, I got an hour and a half asleep. I could not sleep last night. Some say too often

I got an hour and a half asleep. I could not sleep last night. I woke I fell asleep at 830 I woke up at 10. I woke from your house and you shouldn't my house I had I met him. Don't give me this First thing I had to shit in my car First thing I had to shit in my car He used my toddler body String cheese and too much coffee and I felt like I was gonna get sick in his car to turn the window down and Just pull it down and what about you? But? What stopped you from shitting in your home? What's all I'm asking?

Because I didn't have to shit at my house. It hit me when I got here because I had some cigarettes, flow and some coffee. And also, let me reverse who know you. How come you don't have any toilet paper? Because I'm running a fucking podcast to you, not a porta potter business for yourself.

I got my if your stature should have toilet paper. You think I'm giving you my personal supply? You don't even have a personal supply. I went through the closet. Yeah, you there's no personal You don't know that You don't know where my toilet paper is. I'm trying to dissuade you I'm trying to stop you from shitting in my no no no this was not just cuz Ian's coming over hide the wares This was an unkempt first of all you don't need to know whether I have toilet paper or not I know you've been here two minutes, and you're sitting in my fucking house It also looks like you've been plucking chicken feathers on your couch nice man

That's a good joke that everyone will be able to get what what does that mean Ian? There's feathers. Oh, there's a goose down All right, so a couple feathers came out you don't shit in a man's home five minutes into getting there, unless you come right off the road. You came from your, you don't shit off the road. Well maybe he didn't wanna interrupt the podcast. Yeah. He just could've shit in his house. I immediately quit podcasting at my place

and went to meet Mike and then came here. It is an innocuous thing that you're picking out to rip me on. It's 1.30. Yes? 1.30, you had to go back to back. I didn't take a shit when I woke up. It is an innocuous thing that you're picking out to 130 yes 130 you go back to back I woke up immediately with people at my house to do the fucking podcast cuz I couldn't sleep. So you were empathy Hey just a little tip if you need toilet paper don't get the toilet paper from Trader Joe's. Oh, it's cheap, but I've never had more dirty all over my hands. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. It like doesn't work. How did you- yeah. Rips. I hate the- I hate the sand papery. That's one thing I do

for the finest toilet paper in the world. Also, I'm a bidet guy these days. Are you cuz you don't have one here Yeah, that's in bathroom. Yeah, first of all you had to shit. I there's no Showered in that yeah exactly You know yeah, fuck you Ian you overuse my facilities every time you're here And by the way the last time you're like I'm gonna go on a date and then you didn't go you just showered for no reason in my house cancel Fuck you Don't say your name now, do you think this is we've got out Do you think this is God trying to tell you're having too much homosexual sex?

I have not been having home for a while Sex with a woman with a penis is not homosexual Okay, okay, that's fine. We'll give you that sex. We'll give you that is that what you're wrong is that the vibe you're on these days? Okay, that's fine. We'll give you that we'll give you that is that way you're wrong is that the vibe you're on these days? a little while ago, yeah, whatever Nice, oh once it's one time. Yeah, yeah, but the time is out Ian will have completely relapsed on cum on male cum relapse You're right. I'm not off it That's fair. That's fair Anyway, yeah, so you shit. Hey, I'm sorry for I'm assuming we were friends and I could go to the bathroom

To immediately shit is kind of like you know is is on it no cave to come from you No cave a coach no jokes no like for the putt is there's no big there's no bit I'm really mad at you for really sitting in my house Really? I'm really mad at you for sitting in my house Came right from your house and then shit in my house didn't say hello But you answers the door shirtless You think I don't think it's okay to shit in your house with the way you answered the door You're shirtless in your underwear. I was wearing Nation I was wearing shorts.

Barely. What? You're either wearing shorts or you're not. What, were they hanging off my cock? Yeah. Anyway, to immediately come in from your house and shit within moments and then come out, where's your toilet paper?

Bad move, man. I honestly, I didn't think it was that bad of a move because a were friends B When you gotta go you gotta go you would understand we're all Because you you're a person you're a human you understand that if you go to the bathroom You gotta go to the bathroom. Whatever man we can we can table this discussion. I just wear diapers Can we get a ruling from Mike and then eldest I'm gonna shit my baby mid-pot How do you feel and also I lit what toilet paper was left on fire to get rid of the smell because I'm fucking

Kind and I didn't want anything to stink. Thanks, man. Yeah, sorry I'll just come make issues. Can we get a wrong from eldest and Racine and if yes, I'm gonna play devil's advocate for Ian Thank you There's many a time when I've had to come here really early to do work And the first thing I do is go straight to the shitter I think it's you put in eight hours here though Ian's here for two hours 15 minutes of that he spent sitting he did was walking and take a shit job This is fucking job. I come to any job to another job Sitting he did was walking and take a shit job Fucking job I

Always remember that Ian used to teach children Those kids are where you're their English teacher well, they had to watch him shit every day This is a different time I was less wild happy and free maybe that mean you know what maybe there is a reason society represses some people you need the structure in these these these this free society we're living in is not okay Well, anyway, let's get to the matter hand who's your favorite Greek independence day heroes guys. Who would you say is your number one? You know, there's a yordios Karaiskakis. There's Kolokotroni of course the general yeah, Bulina

And speces who was you know donated some of her personal family's fortune and of course there's Lord Byron the British probably bisexual homosexual man. That's my guy. I love you Lord Byron. He was a poet and he loved ancient Greece so much he came from his lordship and went to Greece to help slaughter no good Turks and so we salute him. I like that. Yeah you're a Lord Byron guy probably. Riggas Fereos of course who kind of looks like me bring up R I G A S F E R O S Do you know all this off the top of your head? Yeah. That's really nice. Fereos yeah there you go. Yeah there's my... kind of looks like me right? Oh that's awesome. Wow, does he also not have toilet paper? Maybe. I like anybody who fights oppressive forces for their independence. That's right. Because then you have western decency to keep my shit in the toilet.

No, I agree with Mike. I agree. If the mainstream media was around right now, we'd be talking about- They'd be calling this guy a rapist. All he's trying to do is get the Turks- Riyaz Faryoz. Get the Turks out of his motherland. Yes, exactly. We were indigenous to the territories that the Turks took over.

So suck my dick Ottoman Empire, fuck you. We did it baby. Isito y Elas. Yeah, there's a reason why we call the things we put our feet on Ottomans. I don't think it's taken from that. Yeah dude. Yeah dude. I don't think it is. It's a little thing. I don't think it's I don't think it's taken from that dude Yeah, dude. I don't think it is a little thing

man subconsciously it reminds you Very good stuff in jackets coming off Man take the jacket off so that was like the 1700s that they 1821 1821 this guy died in 1798 it says he was he was like a poet his poets were his poetry was like well it was also like 1821 is when we first kind of took a little land back but the the uprisings were kind of beginning in parts of Greece from all over the place But 18 March 25th 1821 was there was like a Greek Federation that was like suck our dicks Turks And then we got that you know what I mean taking our taking back. What's ours?

We saw they were doing a lot of fucked up shit in the absolutely right because the Armenian genocide was what? Yeah, yeah, no they were they you know they were and the lady that owns my daycare is Turkish Good real money grubbers. No good We should read some of his poems do you have any I'm sure we can find some I remember with his big line was Well, you know what's interesting Greeks at the time The concept of Greek of modern Greece was kind of made up for exactly for the Greek independence. They considered them, like we consider the Byzantine Empire, the Eastern Roman Empire, we consider that a separate empire. But they consider themselves Romans. So his poetry, he talks about how he's a Roman and he's gonna die a Roman. He was like a romance a

Genetica get almost a path on I believe was with some of the but I remember reading that and being like what is why is he's calling Himself Roman, but it's it. Yeah, that was that was what s cuz Greeks were just our Culture was just all over the we consider ourselves Romans cuz we they stole all our shit and the Byzantine Empire was in Was a group was an Orthodox Empire. They made a little better? Huh? You don't think they made a little better. Nah, you think it was good They acclimated to the place they went to they acclimated. We mean they learned the language What are you talking Romans? What the fuck are you talking? Wait today? What are you? What are you talking about? No, no you tried to do a little joke Mike was cutting you what he was talking about He said he's actually Italianian i'm a little you got

the f course you are what happened uh... anyway the eastern roman empire was a great as an ethnically greek empire and the greeks under ottoman control considered themselves roman they didn't consider themselves greek it's already be a greek poet because what rhymes with souvlaki? You know interesting, mounaki, which means pussy. Oh yeah? A little pussy, yeah. So we actually have that ready to go.

Alright. Yep, but you're right man. Suck a mounkaki. Very nice. Very nicely done. So you have a Turkish daycare, huh? Suck a mounkaki, souvlaki. huh? Kaki, it's a blaki. Little Munaki. It's a trifecta. I didn't realize he died in Serbia. Interesting.

So how's your son taking to daycare, bro? How old is he now? Three and a half? He's two and a half. I'll tell him the diaper thing. He's like peeing on the potty now. The other day I said, yesterday I was like, hey, we gotta put on underwear. It's really the diaper thing. He's like peeing on the potty now the other day I said yesterday I was like hey, we got to put on underwear, and he was like no and I go okay

You want to wear a diaper you want to wear a diaper like a baby, and he goes goo goo Gaga Damn my man loves diapers, huh? Yeah, he's going through a little ninja turtle phase. That's pretty cool. That is awesome. Yeah. Who do you think his favorite turtle is? I'm gonna say your son, Leonardo. Leonardo, yeah. Pretty good.

I'm gonna say Donatello. Oh yeah. See that? I know his son better and I barely have seen the kid. Yeah. I was a Raphael guy, personally. Were you? I was. Little attitude. Little attitude, had the daggergers. I was like he could actually kill someone with those

He's dealing with a real weapon, which I heard that sigh but sire like peacekeeping weapons Yeah, but when you're a little kid, they look like daggers daggers, but they are yeah They're supposed to be you're supposed to like disarm swords with them. Yeah, but like when you're a kid You're like, yeah, this guy could kill someone yeah well that I'm rewatching It he's a little cunty though. He is he's a dickhead. Yeah. Yeah, I think I like the one with attitude He was get an anger problem. Yes. Yeah, you know I like that all the kids about his chicks let's fucking practice karate for fuck's sake no I don't want to go out and talk to April let's all get oiled up and fucking wrestle so that we're ready to fight the hand that's why he looks disgusting that's why he left them because he put on his trench I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah, dude. In the theme song of the cartoon, they make everyone out to be so cool, and then Donatelle was like the brains of everything, and they just describe him by going, he does machines. And he does machines. Which is the dumbest sounding thing to say.

He does machines, bro. He's the brains of everything. But when you're a little, when you're a two and a half year old kid, you wanna do machines. Ooh, machines. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. My favorite was Donatelle. He's the brains of everything but when you're a little when you're a two and a half year old kid you want to do machine machines Yeah, yeah, my favorite was Donatello. Who'd you like? Michelangelo

Even like even like revisiting the series. I'm like goofy. He's awesome. Yeah pizza Yeah, see to me it felt like Michelangelo was like trying to you are easy of a everyone picked him cuz he liked pizza No disrespect. No, I know but there's a reason why everybody like now That's what I think that's also why I picked a rap because it was the like It was no one was you know, the daggers were cool But they also he didn't really fuck anyone up with them and he was kind of an asshole and I do feel like You got a lot of you got no one really picked him. Yeah eldest. I Just don't know we will take down the Jew from Albania we will use our sharp rocks to kill the Jew who takes money from us

go Yuris Jew killing frogs, Yuris Jew killing frogs instead of shredder it's lender lender? we will banish them from the hills of Albania I gotta say nun chucks are like not a great weapon. I was thinking I was trying to beat my wife the other night I gotta say nunchucks are like not a great weapon though. I was thinking I was trying to beat my wife the other night And they kept the chain kept getting tangled you couldn't really get a good Like honey, just bear with me. Just stay where you keep cowering. I'm gonna

To Katanas versus nunchucks, it's kind of like a big disadvantage. That's true. Yeah, but the staff I felt was the most conservative weapon because you could keep people at bay and also whack them from behind, hit them and everything. That seemed like the best for fighting multiple guys at once. Totally, totally, yeah. But I mean, you combine the four. Maybe he's the gay one.

He's like, stay away from me, girls! Yeah, and the easiest thing to put up your ass It's like why is there a suction cup at the end of your staff Yeah, we're due for a gritty reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I like that frog that we should maybe try to sell that. Yuri's Jew killing frogs Yuri Yuri becomes the president of Albania That would be cool. Slobodan baskeem On hell islam

Together we make the yuri killing frog. I'm not really familiar with the franchise How the fuck did you not know the ninja turtles? I watched it when I was a kid I honestly don't remember much about it except the pizza looked awesome. The pizza looked awesome and I think it's the reason to this day I like pepperoni mushroom pizza because the mushrooms I was not a mushroom liking kid They always just look so yeah, and I remember the first time I requested mushrooms And they came out like a little like chopped up black ones. I was like Mushrooms are gray bell shaped thing. I was like this is bullshit. They did a lot of Really bad things for the anchovy industry that is true could not get me to try

Obsessed with anchovies they're good now because of the turtles I agree that is one That is a mark of shame if we could take a little break from the comedy and do a little of her scenes food corner Please a little baguette with some butter and some anchovies nothing wrong with that Or you get a nice anchovy in oil in olive oil with garlic, okay? Put just smear those fuckers on a leaf. That's like I'm job of the hut. Yeah. Yeah No, they're delicious. Pretend. They're a lot Yeah. Shut up! Well, I bet my diarrhea...

Yeah, I bet if I shit every fucking house I went to... If I was having... If I was having complications from ACT and shitting constantly, too, I would be able to keep a finger. Like medical builder through the roof! a figure I do love how self-conscious you are about being fat recine the second you gain any weight you're like you know you really you really do you talk about your tits all the time yeah yeah yeah do you have a do you know I don't know how to lean into it yeah yeah which is a shame well cuz I you're already in dad mode you know mm-hmm that's part of it I know I keep thinking that maybe I could there's a chance of being like a hot guy. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you want that though?

Well, that's what's interesting to me because I always I figure if I was ever married. Yeah, and then have kids It's like I would never try and get it my hottest then cuz then it's like what's the best-case scenario you cheat on your wife right, you know what I mean? Like if you if you become have like I I can be a hot guy With the size clothes you buy A lot of times you wear really tight fitting clothes You're drawing attention to your tits, but you are an attractive guy Yeah, you just wear a little bag your clothing until you lose the man is in a fucking you two XL hoodie right now Your clothing until you lose the man isn't a fucking you see XL hoodie right now

But but I think you're an attractive I should do a little wigger face Wearing fucking South Pole Property I did find a Travis Kelce Jersey on the street the other day It was like a XL and I put it on it was like yeah, it fit me very loose Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah, welcome to the XL brotherhood Once you start hitting those exes, it's tough to go back And it just grow the exes keep growing yeah, well you feel like royal, you know Mm-hmm. Absolutely really royalty when it's draped over you it feels nice What is yes? so what you do what would be

like the what I guess what's the point of being a hot guy you're married you have a kid oh you're asking me no no no no it is well documented you give yourself three points too many you spot yourself three points on the attractiveness scale? Because I have to Or else I spiral Actually, you know what I'm gonna stop trying to get you to see reality and it's a grim picture I want you to avoid the red and stimpy close-up of your reality and just keep it rosy and and butterflies shows all time I'll take that as a nice comparison I believe I believe the creator mullet was a groomer right didn't he like I would like a different girl or something which is this the thing you look up yeah You're talking about Ninja Turtles! And now you're like Ren and Stimpy. Ren and Stimpy rape.

Accused of predator raping. Oh no! Did you ever play the Ren and Stimpy video game on Sega? I don't think I did. Oh my god. Frogs, lenders buying up all the abandoned buildings! We must stop him. We must rile up Muslims to get away. Let them do dirty work for us.

We tell Muslims, if Jews have big problems, we will let them fight. We take everything afterwards. You're is Jewish and that Jewish folks. Number one, I'll buy in the talk show for children. Google search. What did the random Stimpy guy do? Yeah. In 2018, I hope. I'll see. Yeah. I hope if you Google what did Mike Racine do, it's not. Showed his penis. Let's look it up. Elvis, what did Mike Racine do?

Let's see it up eldest what did my What did my finish it right or seen do you keep going what wrong yes yeah find out nothing it doesn't matter Now let's do Ian. No, no, no. Keep it as me. Keep it molester. finance, do Nothing. What did Ian finance do to Microsene? What? That's what Google auto-corrects?

That's awesome. Let's see what it says. It's just me raping him. Oh, that's awesome. Let's see what it says Mad with micros you only are nothing good Microseed Oh look, it's relationship expert Ian finance. I wonder what he's hitting on you for there. That's good, though I can't wait to see eldest click Maybe this is one of your tweets that you did that I had to call you and go what's the matter with you? Yeah well you know couples therapy is the death rattle of every relationship a classic

finance hasn't figured out tweet. I do make where's the line? Come on y'all! Where is the line? God, I love when you're making points Ian, it's one of my favorite things in the world A lot of philosophers I do miss the era where I would just reply so true

to maybe 40% of your tweets I was in my I'm trying to figure it out phase I'm glad we figure it out. I'm glad we're in giving up on that. There was nothing funnier than when he was on Kumeo with Alan Dershowitz. That was incredible, dude. Dude, the most incredible part was... It was like his own headshot.

Months later, I'm hanging out out with stop and that's his background photo We've never discussed it Years my background photo was the was the um dude that I'm down They didn't tell me that until I walked in the studio Oh, by the way, and they go oh, hey, um, are you okay with this? I was like, what the fuck? I know then I it was really funny the early days of compound You just walk in and everyone would do it cuz like I mean yeah, you know He's got an audience like yeah, and you would walk in you don't know who's like oh, here's a knot a blind Nazi

I remember what I walked in there and literally it was the it was me and Nick were doing it and the other guest was a racist porn star Who did rub my cock through my jeans so it wasn't all bad I did ask him do you think you defend Epstein because about being a pedophile because you've been accused of being a pedophile and then he was like well thank you for this interview that's fucking awesome And then he was like, well, thank you for this interview. And then he did the thing. That's fucking awesome.

Harvard Law, former Harvard Law president Alan Dershowitz couldn't handle a debate with Ian Fidesz. How bad for telling it like this. It's so funny. That's so awesome. Yeah, I remember. That's still, ooh. Yeah, they would do that to you.

It was like, oh, dude, I get into race its car today and he's listening to Anthony Cumia. I swear to God. The classics? He's listening to old ONA. Oh, old ONA's classic stuff, though. And it was that thing of like, yeah, wow, Cumia, fucking ONA. And then you get on and it's like the most insane situation you're in. I know.

And you're like, well, I guess I'm fucking here. Yeah, I did it I did it with when soda was guest hosting it so that was pretty fun. Yeah, just me and soda basically That's great doing it, but you know it was it was it was funny when you were like oh cool It's the guy from ONA and then cuz I didn't I wasn't paying attention anything that was going on Yeah, oh, no, what's happened here? God you're like this is what Gavin McGinnis is just hanging out he's fucking dropping end bombs in the green room there's a book on a guy who measures skulls but then it was that

thing they had already on too and then already Lang was on and you're like oh my god already Lang and then you get in was on and you're like, oh my God, Artie Lang. And then you get in the studio and he's like, missing a nose. You're like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was tough. I walk in, I'm like, grandma? Yeah, you're like, what realm have you lost to me?

Is that my nonna? Yeah. You know? Is that my beautiful nostrega nonna? And now everybody on the show is like, here's the new show from the pool guy who hung around long enough, he got his own thing. I know now everybody on the show is like here's the new show from the pool guy who? Hung around long enough. He got his own thing

I love that they were literally doing but like the the level of like political discourse was during the Colin Kaepernick stuff They were wearing like cold black blackface For a man who's like, you know, it's like first of all black you shouldn't do blackface But it's like Colin Kaepernick is the same complex is like a tan Italian right? Anyway whatever has worse hair anyway catch Ian's new program over at compound media Live laugh love with Ian finance coming to compound media Live laugh love with the infighting is coming to compound media Do you follow that guy Shelby on Twitter he's like used to work for Ron and Fez. He's really really funny great Twitter follow, but uh He he had this tweet where um he took Kumi his tweet being like I'm going back to the hospital

They can't really figure out what's wrong with me And he put it next to like the photo of Obama and Hillary watching the Osama Guys good Sounds good Man what I wouldn't give to be in that war room just killing Osama You and your girl, you know must must have felt awesome felt awesome must have felt good like we were like oh yeah This is just gonna be there's no one is gonna be mad at me for this There's no one in America like this feels cool And I don't do you guys remember he was they killed it they killed they got Osama

And they like dumped his body on then they let John Cena announce it well No, no, they well the he announced at WWE, but they killed him and then like the day after The day after it was the correspondence dinner and Obama knew that like on Monday They were gonna announce that they killed Osama. So he was dude if you go back and watch him dude He's just got like the biggest smirk like the biggest shit eating great like he's like I don't care about these little roasts from Seth Meyers tomorrow people are gonna find that I killed Osama bin Laden It was fucking awesome. I was doing coke in the bathroom at the same time. Do you remember that? No Yeah, he said he did coke at the Correspondents' Dinner. Nice. Like underneath the table or something. And then

I think it got outshined by the fact that Obama killed Osama bin Laden. And he did it himself. People don't know that. Obama flew over there. He used a gun from one of his homeboys. From one of his Chicago Muslim homies, and he actually held the gun sideways. After identifying his body, the military brought him aboard the USS Carl Vinson. He said Brother Muzon and Omar. Oh, so Osama's body was aboard the USS Carl Vinson and buried him in the northern Arabian Sea the same day. US took political religion practical Factors in consideration deciding how to bury bin Laden's I'm still confused about how that all went down because I remember he made the announcement

Then they were just like deflecting on what exactly happened with the body It's like they just tossed this cocksucker in the ocean I think so they just released like a sketchy video of him looking kind of dead or something of his face But it was sketchy. I think yeah, I guess that I guess what I heard the thought process was you don't want to like Give him a grave that'll become like a place for like for me to go visit Yeah, but also it means like make it a grave and booby trap and just keep catching terrorists It means like make it a grave and booby trap and just keep catching terrorists Don't see what the problem is they're gonna go live stream. Yeah, they're gonna Yeah, yeah, yeah

Put a put a little but put his grave and then put a cardboard box with a little stick on top of it And then once they go they knock it over and they're trapped there dude smart Well, why did why did everyone just believe that in a heartbeat? And then that's not the thing that people clam onto, but then they're like, he wasn't born in America. That was like, this thing. It does feel like there should be a little more conspiracy theories about

Osama Bin Laden still being alive somewhere. We never saw shit, you know? Let's start that up. That's a fun old school conspiracy theory. Let's get that going. Him and Tupac are hanging out with Hitler in Argentina. Wild Happy and Free Osama Bin Laden hashtag. Well he does, I mean.

Dude, you know what? I did watch the Bernie Mac show this weekend. Great show. Yeah. His wife? Incredible Cans. That's so fun. I watched Everybody Hates Chris this weekend. Really? Oh wow, we watch two black shows To black comedies this weekend. That's what I was thinking.

Well, I wouldn't be surprised if the feds killed Bernie Mac. Because you don't see a lot of like, you really don't see a lot of strong black men like that on TV anymore. That's why they took down Cosby too, right? Well, he was going to buy NBC. A lot of people don't know that. But he was in the final stage of purchasing NBC Universal. So the Illuminati had to stop that Yeah, they just couldn't have that man Why would they kill Bernie Mac? I think it's because you know he was he was he was a strong

He was a provider. He took care of his family. Yeah, he took in his sister's kids, but he was He wasn't yes sister's kids but he was wasn't Yes Well, yeah, they're trying to you know he went against what let him somewhere address. Yeah continue definitely not He just don't see a lot of men like that on TV anymore You're right and he was greater than the oceans oceans a franchise Yeah, and oceans 11 and he was really great at pumping me up for things watching his I ain't scared you motherfuckers

That's so funny that you would watch that and think I do the same I can see that yell on it my cat I would pay like probably like a hundred thousand dollars to like put you in the time machine Unprepared and just make you go in front of that same audience That would be the best thing in my in my life I'm gonna escort it out. Get out of this room! I am scared of you! You're just calling the police. Yeah! That would be, that's the only way I'll get on board with like. You know, he made his own money.

He wasn't on welfare. He wasn't on welfare. He wasn't on welfare. Yeah, he was a strong, he was a strong black role model and I think they got him for that. Yeah. Obama took him out. Obama took him out? Because his bitch was finer. His TV bitch was fine.

Obama couldn't handle it. He was upset that Bernie Mac's TV wife was hotter than Michael Obama. What time did... Good one. What year did he die? Did Bernie Mac die? like 2007 2008. I think let's just make sure He like insulted Obama to his fate. He like roasted Obama. Yeah, he's dead a few oh wait right Yeah, I don't know any oh

On the world so it was right before he was elected and most killed him. Yeah, it was Bush Wait a minute, but it didn't sold Obama. Yeah, what do you say? Somebody sent me an article that I did not read Where do you might make crude joke at Obama's crew joke at Obama? Oh, I would love to know what it was I heard he fucking his chef He in the limousine sucking digs About menopause sexual infidelity and promiscuity Use occasionally my little nephew came to me. Um, okay. Hold on my little nephew came to me and he said uncle

What's the difference between a hypothetical question a realistic question? Mac said I said I don't know but I said go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd make love to the mailman for $50,000 as the joke continued the punchline evoked an angry response from at least one person in the audience who said it was offensive to women It's not funny. Let's get Barack on a man. Oh, so this is him opening for Barack Obama He's talking about go ask your mom. She fucked the mailman Barack Obama Ask your mom she fucked the mailman And all the men's that which paid this is an event where they paid

$2,300 each a fundraiser where it was $2,300 to attend About 15 minutes later Obama tried to smooth things over with a jug of his own We can't afford to be divided by race We can't afford to be divided by region or by class and we can't afford to be divided by gender which by the way that means Bernie you got to clean up your act next time By the way, by the way, I'm just messing with you man the instance you response from Obama's campaigners criticize I mean it is awesome to be like, oh look who it is Jen Sackie's dumbass. Senator Obama told Bernie Macley he doesn't condone these statements and he believes what was said was inappropriate. For the mailman joke? Yeah I think so.

That's such a tame- Do you know how the joke finishes though? How does it- He goes go ask the mailman if your mom would have sex with him for $50,000 and then- Cause go back to the setup. He goes, Uncle what's the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question? and then because it don't go back to the setup he goes i'll go what's the difference between hypothetical question a realistic

question so don't know but i said go says that's your mother she make love to the mailman for fifty thousand dollars so the kid goes as among the mom says yes he goes okay so uh... hypothetically you mom a fifty thousand dollars realistically she's a whore uh... that's the joke? That's the joke, yeah. I love that he has an encyclopedic knowledge

of hack street jokes. Well, I love them. Yeah, I love them. The way it was told to me was different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a kid goes to his dad, what's the difference between theory and practice? And then he goes, go ask your mom

if she'd have sex with a neighbor for a million dollars. Gotcha. Go go ask your mama she'd have sex with a neighbor for a million dollars gosh go ask your sister she'd have sex with a neighbor all right we got it yes and he goes theoretically we're millionaires realistically we live with a bunch of whores that's a better told it that's a better joke for sure that's awesome though that he did that to open for Obama on the when he was like about to become president Well, what did what did Bernie Mac say in response to Obama? I don't he say something Cuz didn't say

Who gives a fuck? Oh, I thought you said he insulted Obama. That's what I thought. Yeah, but read the article This is well either way. I think there's again. I think they probably killed him. I Think they killed him for that. When was this speech? This was it in 2008? We're actually pretty close to when Bernie died He this is in June or July and then he died in August. How did he die Obama heart attack gun? Yeah, yeah, oh the heart attack gun. They're like, I think what happens is the final the two candidates They get one weekend with the heart attack gun.

Just to try it out. Just to be like, get used to using this. Sarcoidosis is an inflammatory disease that often attacks multiple organs. Bernie Mac suffered from sarcoidosis. Well either way, it disproportionately affects African Americans. So you know, it was Obama for sure. I think we can agree Obama killed Bernie Mac Yeah, I think nevermind go ahead I

Should just confidently said it That's all right, man a lot of those black people get new ports I should have said it confidently. Yeah, he did the voice really was brutal That was the audience dude Hearing yeah, they loved it Fuck I saw a friend of mine the other night He goes yeah kind of went down this Twitter rabbit hole of people saying that Michael Jackson was framed and set up and then murdered That's fun, that is fun. Yeah, he was was yeah he was just on Eddie Griffin's Twitter one of the best weekends of my life no man has ever insisted that

Michael Jackson is straight harder than Eddie Griffin he literally told I was just hosting for him and he was like he was like I saw him fuck women yeah I swear to God then he was like and then he told me like a story about how they were like hanging out And there's like all right see you later Mike and then like and then he's he just They went their own way and Eddie Griffin is walking away sees Michael Jackson was fucking a woman with such ferocity That his tour bus was rocking back So like he fucked the way like the Tasmanian devil fucks with such ferocity that his tour bus was rocking back and forth. So like he f**ked the way like the Tasmanian devil f**ks. He sure wasn't a bunch of kids trying to clamor out of the f**king tour bus.

It was awesome man. That's wild. Oh yeah and he also, I've said this before, but he also says that Magic Johnson willingly got AIDS in exchange for half of Los Angeles's real estate According to Eddie Griffin. So it's possible. Yeah, you know, there's compete. I mean if that money's an escrow Yeah, that's true It's easy to get a now they got all kinds of kinds of different medicines. It's basically like having a bad... It's like harder than ever to get AIDS.

I mean it's easy to have it. It's easy to live with. Well it's easy to live with HIV. AIDS is still a want. Having AIDS, it's still not a walk in the park. Yeah, absolutely., yeah, absolutely What what the fuck was just out prep shout out Docs and Mithin you on anything man, I'm wild happy Specials a tie-in with prep that would be cool

Prep you literally should get prep money dude. Yeah Pratt if you're out there sponsor me yeah, we'll be right back yeah You should dude get that fucking money. Mm-hmm fuck. I was just gonna say something I forgot remember that Kevin Hart tweet when he goes that Damon Jr. Looks like a gay billboard for AIDS Damn Damon, Jr. Yeah, and he spelled billboard is two words billboard a billboard it is so funny that he was just a middling Philadelphia comedian Yeah, he just became the most famous guy of all time. Yeah. Dude, when I would work with him.

He was like crashing on big Jay Ogreson's couch. Yeah, when I was working at the Laugh House, so I started the club he started at in Philly, people would pose with DVDs of his behind glass after shows and I would have to take their pictures. That's insane. I would like MC take their pictures. That's insane. I would like MC horribly. Sorry.

U-Haul's trying to charge me $40 for a toll. Oh, fuck them, dude. They don't have an easy pass? No, they do, but you know. U-Haul sponsor Racine. Yeah. That's true, what would your sponsorship be, Racine? Who would you want to sponsor?

Ian's is prep. Oh, can I prep too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's show support for them. Yeah. If you got, if you became ripped, right? Is prep. Oh, can I prep to? That's just support for them If you got if you became ripped, right, but your wife was like you can't fuck any women would you fuck men? I don't think I'd be allowed to fuck me. Let's say you were yeah As a way to be like let me measure how hot I am. What's the hottest? I can't get a hot girl

What's the hottest guy I can get would you do that? Just for your because you want to be just to see how hot it was like you want to become hot not for any Reason other than your own self-esteem. Yeah, so it's just like a way to mark Is your high water mark for how hot a guy you can have a person you can fuck sure would you do it? I feel like the bar is not that high for for gay guys. So you'd have to aim really high. Yeah You know me you have to be beautiful. It'd be like a model or something. Yeah, you know I'm just wondering like that guy They got a modern contract after his mugshot came out that guy yeah over him. Yeah, the hot guy Yeah, mugshot Bay. I believe who's was they were calling him the guy with the green Lightskin guy with the green eyes. What's he up to these days?

What kind of country living in where you get famous off of being in prison? Let's see what happened to him afterwards. Read your book. Yeah, read your book. That was that same weekend. What happened? What happened? That was, Eddie Griffin was claiming that there was going to be, that Obama was going

to force us to get a vaccine. He was very anti-, by the way. So maybe he did kill Bernie Mac, you know, it's possible. But he hated Obama. And he said that this before COVID, he was so he was like, Obama is going to make us get a vaccine and it is going to start. And Griffin, an apology, huh? The Mark of the Bees. The Mark of the Bees.

I remember that. I kind of bought into that. Yeah. The guy I worked with, he would smoke weed and come over lunch. We should read the Bible He blessed my apartment with frankincense and myrm But then he took all my weed and drug fairfiddle you just used it good Yeah, I mean it makes sense to save me for myself. He did that was a good guy Yeah, but that was the thing like the mark of the beast is coming Obama with a Chip he's gonna put exactly it was the chip and there was gonna make us zombies if you got it

Oh, and it was and it was gonna hold it was gonna be death camps It was not this Eddie Griffin and by the way, he sings in the green room. He's all staying on stage. And he said the kind of mind where it was like what he was saying is anything. Yeah.

But it was almost like he's reminded of these stories and literally everything he told us in the green room. Like he really had a mind where it was like the guy is not stopping. And his tour manager was this giant jack dude who was

like he was like yeah, man This guy sleeps two hours a night max. He never shuts the fuck up He has to get fucked up to go to bed. And so on his rider was was Two bottles of champagne and two bottles of tequila and he would drink both each show He would make champagne tequila cocktails in a fucking champagne flute And you're just like 22 years old like so I live with my mom And he would go over I mean no exaggeration by an hour and a half each show Yeah, so it was like by the end of it. They find just talking just doing Eddie Griffin

He was killing and like most of the people stayed dude and like each show then the late show would start late And they just fired the feature they're like hey you you can't be here and my time got cut I was literally doing like three minutes, and it was like well do one joke and introduce Eddie Griffin And then and then they're like or was it just kind of he was killing for the first 90 minutes And then like and even the first two hours did the late shows he would do like over three hours It was crazy of what of just talking dude any of like the Michael Jackson stories Obama literally Obama is bringing the sign of the beast and so read your book comes from he was talking about how it was like Yeah, it's in the Bible. They're gonna make us zombies

They're gonna he had some kind of number of like our population was Obama was gonna stay the end of the show to like close it out I can't wait to give him shit about this cuz he was like he wouldn't let me go home for the late show Yeah, and it was like and he was like yeah, you have to go with 3 a.m. It's like dude you think these people are gonna stay for the raffle they want to leave that's wild But yes He was he said Obama was going to get our population down to some number from the Bible, like whatever it was from the Bible.

And then this old woman. Well, obviously, that's not real, but he did put things in place to get it to happen because of COVID. Anyway, continue. And then thanks for stopping the story. He said Obama Chef is going to drown in a puddle. Yeah, he was going to get liquid in his lungs.

Yeah. And so, yeah, and so he was saying that, and he was like, it's in the Bible, and then an old black woman who was there by herself, she was like in her late 60s, early 70s, was just like, mm-hmm, read your book, read your book. And like being like, yup, Eddie's so right, this is in the Bible, I read the Bible.

It's in the Bible that Obama's gonna get the population of 60,000 people. Yeah, it was gonna take the world back to 60,000 or something crazy. That was a book of dookie-rotomy. I told that story on maybe the first episode of Come Town, I think, but it was like, that was one of the best

You know, it was worth a funny to do like an hour of comedy be like now. I gotta talk about something serious Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, and he would do and by the way he did Cumulatively probably five hours of material cuz he didn't repeat jokes. Really? It was like each night He was like crushing it really was for a lot of it especially the Jack Michael Jackson stuff cuz he had like Because he was a good thing is he's an incredibly talented performer Yeah, so he would say this insane shit, but he was his timing was great. Yeah, he had in crazy He was doing impressions. He was doing act outs He literally for 15 minutes like danced like Michael Jackson really really well like it was like fat

it was incredible like it was all new shoes you would get each show yeah I'm not kidding you would get Air Force ones that was like I saw that happen they he asked for brand-new white Air Force ones every show yeah it's crazy does that come out of his yeah right it does Paul Mooney would come to Caroline's a lot and he talked about Michael Jackson and he'd go and he's not a pedophile get that out of your mind he's Not just like I'm not gay. I'm not gay by the way He's not a pedophile. He's an alien. Yeah, I mean there is some of that words

Like black guys aren't allowed to be weird as shit, right? But at the same time Michael Jackson was a pedophile me and it's like it's like somebody was making this point it's like yeah, man, you think it's like it's like somebody was making this point. It's like yeah, man You think it's like you think it was like the guy who? Had to be so fucked up every day that it was like he was getting like the same amount of tranquilizers that a fucking Elephant gets you think maybe he didn't have something on his conscience that was kind of troubling him It's like Michael Jackson's like daily Thing was insane. He was just barely was living in like a haze every fucking day Might some might argue if you were a pedophile for years

You would want to quiet the guilt you were feeling by doing that many drugs go to Michael Jackson's We're getting really good at singing and dancing Or by making people happy so yeah Valium lorazepan Middles mid oz alum Given to sleep sorry during a tarot period throughout the night and morning. It's cocktail was a recipe for disaster Whatever who gives a fuck I was just taking a lot of benzos and probe for all and shit, but real respect to MJ anyway He's taking a lot of benzos and pro for all and shit, but respect to MJ anyway You know clearly we've established ourselves as experts on this this podcast

We you you you guys have lived beautiful lives. You know how to tell you know, you know how to guide people And so I say we do some of that and of course want to remind everybody go watch both specials here folks. We've got the tomato brother by Mike Racine right is now what it's called We have some road dates to made oh brother and then I swear I'm not gay by is technically different than gay by He got me dude Fuck I left a pause in there Hey I don't want to make fun of each other anymore The eldest story

Nice try Ian That's not how things work man And you know it You're locked into this for life Yes I may start taking some broken off. But yeah, let's plug some road dates Mike. Go ahead. I just got Zanies in Chicago April 3rd and I got Comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York. Rochester. May 11th. Beautiful. Check it out at microseencomedy.com.

Ian, anything for you? Ianfiredance.com. I'm in Austin, Texas April 4th and 5th and May 5th. I'm at the Hollywood Improv for a Netflix is a joke. Come on out and Be any in with Jordan every Wednesday patreon.com slash be any in pod for the patreon noise All right, let's take some fucking calls big L though What I do is I'll be what's up big L? In a little bit of a situation definitely need some advice So, you know, I know you like I know you like your details let me give you as much details I possibly can So a few years back my cousin, you know kind of put me on this girl that he used to mess with talking about She's a freak or whatever. So I DM her, you know one thing leads to another

I end up fucking her wasn't a good fuck, but I did fucking deed nice mom after that I passed her on to my older brother You know, he flirted with her did I don't know what they did? I know they did some stuff You know, they did their thing Fast forward a couple months later My brother put her on my you know kill this woman I mean, this is great. She fucked everyone in the family Great so my grandpa shows up

Also, she didn't put it together that there's like a whisper campaign about your pussy going on This is better at least the time it got to the younger brother. I know. Cause the older brother's like, ah, the pussy was whatever. Have you thought maybe your dick was trash? Hmm. Oh, that's so good, man. Good perspective to have.

Yes, Andrew. I can't. I can't when I can't in this situation go ahead eldest Yes, Ian's about to start the timer let's see how long it takes for you to break. Meltdown! I also have only been sleeping two hours tonight. Are you ready for some of my little tears? Yeah, actually yes. I'd love some. I'm reading ahead and this is good. Okay, go ahead. I'll just play it. And you know, I didn't think anything was up, you know, would come of it. Um...

anything was up you know will come of it um anything will come of it and now uh now my brother got her pregnant and they're living together you know they're about to start a family they're doing the whole thing he loves her she loves him they might fuck around and even get married so my problem is

I have a girlfriend we've been together for about four years now um I don't know whether do I I don't want to like show up to the, you know, when the kid is born and my nephew was born and you know, like, uh, do I tell her, do I tell her that, you know, I fucked with this girl in the past, you know, do I, you know, hope like don't say anything, hopefully nothing comes up with it because everybody knows, especially between the three brothers and

kind of joke about it a lot. So I don't know, it might be an awkward situation. I don't know like do I have this conversation with her? Do I not tell her I don't know I definitely need your help Appreciate any advice you have now Who is a tough call cuz like you don't want to keep anything from your partner, right? But what do you gain from telling and why does she need to know? From your partner right, but what do you gain from telling and why does she need to know? The only reason you would want to tell is like I hope this girl does not one day go crazy and just like firebomb My whole life and like right tell tell tell my wife that but also he didn't do anything wrong

Like even if she goes crazy, what's she gonna say right eight months before I got knocked up by his little brother I fucked her his older brother like yeah, but couldn't that also Could that be I think three you should just no no no no it's been I think so Oh, it was long. They're not worried about that. He's just worried about it's wrong this girl that we thought was the was the family slam piece I promote it. Yes yes you did she did Look, it's whether they transferred her from division to division. She interned everywhere. She finally got her foot in the door She's a go-getter Geez do you tell so he's wondering do I tell?

From his perspective do I tell my girl that I fucked in the past? I guess... why? I guess if it comes up, I don't think it's that crazy. Well why would it come up? That's what I'm saying, why would you tell her? Do you think that the girl may say something, it might just be weird at family functions? You just never know. I feel this guy's anxiety about it. But what happened, my good question is, but it should be a secret between, you know,

you, your brother, your cousin, your uncle, and this girl. Yeah, the maintenance guy at the apartment you all live in. Maybe, I would guess maybe, 30% of the men this woman's met. Yeah, the Raymour and Flanagan guys that move the couch in. Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. My perspective is and like I think this happens sometimes where it's like friends hook up like let's say I hooked up with this girl that my friend later and he like I just randomly

hooked up with this girl and my friend later and he like I just randomly hook up this girl and my friend marries her right I'm not bringing it up I'm just not bringing it up yeah I mean like it's and I think and I know his situation is more to your current girl yeah I guess you're right who does it you're right it's different his is different but I just mean these are certain things that just in my opinion these are things that lie dormant Yeah, and they're kind of like those they're kind of like the disease in the permafrost It's like please God. I hope caveman Doesn't get thought out and we all die It happens we're fucked, but I'm just gonna hope it doesn't happen frozen

I just think I think that's honestly the best tact in a situation like this because the other thing to think about is like What worst-case scenario? This comes out What and your girls mad at you you'll be like what I hooked up with this girl randomly? I thought nothing of it now. She's with him. I didn't want to make it doesn't mean anything to me I didn't want to make it all over the family So like I just didn't tell you but it's like Complete non-issue and if you and like worst case you have your girls mad at you for a week

You know what I mean, then you get over it I don't think there's something you need to preemptively get out ahead of because that would cause more harm than good There's another risky element of her finding out the like the brothers are just like passing her around like a fucking baseball glove Not anymore knows that though. She's in's in the family yeah she knows the fuck she know you know you think it's one of the other in catch wind of who these guys were that she was fucking I mean is she that fucking still I mean the good the callers girl not oh the colors yeah no no that's crazy like like that's just like that's exactly that's what that's yes if you start disclosing things preemptively

Then you're like and by the way we all kind of fucked her It was one of the like then you don't want to you're right. You don't want to discuss that so it's like I say you just let sleeping dogs live personally and Then maybe depending on how it sounds like you and your brothers are pretty close And so I think what you could do is all have a bros meeting how well and be like here's how we're handling this We're never bringing it up. I think that's what you need to do personally But it is that's a wild situation that Good, you know what? This little brother is either the dumbest guy or the smartest guy in the world where he's like just you know what I'm not a

chauvinist I love this woman hey we all have a past she happens to have fucked guys that I shared DNA with you know what I mean like my thing though is it is it's it's weird to pass her off to each family member that's it's absolutely weird. I would be more worried about people finding that out than the fact that I had sex with this girl in the past. Because that to me is very alarming. It is weird.

It is very old world, I must say. Where it's like, you know, it's like, oh man. Bro, you gotta get some of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, dude, this place makes a great Yeah, but you're talking about a girl's pussy Everything else with her yeah It's tough It's an interesting situation, and this is one of those where it's all context again a girl fucks four guys

Who cares a girl fucks four brothers three brothers and a cousin? four brothers, three brothers and a cousin. Close and Adrian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little strange, but you know. Well, she's kind of a different person after the kid's born. You know, now she's the mother of your nephew. So it's almost like it never happened. It wipes the pussy clean slate.

Once a baby comes out, it starts over at zero. Yes. Born again pussy. Yeah, I agree with that. So yeah, buddy, good luck and that's hilarious and maybe don't Pass girls around your family. Yeah Let this be a lesson to Stanley Cup. What the fuck's the matter? Have you ever I guess you don't nobody here has you have a brother but that'd be hilarious if you're your brother Rascam Oh brothers

brother but that'd be hilarious if your brother were Eskimo brothers yeah if you fuck the girl in your brother's class that would be a big issue the same melon with a hole cut in it yeah yeah you just can't microwave those twice. They get too mushy the second time. You microwave them. The same turkey sandwich. Let's get your brother in love on a spectrum, dude. You know, let's get a little shine for the Racine family on the Netflix Autistic Dating show. That is a dating show. That is a good show. Do you think he would do well in one of those situations? He's not like verbal enough.

Oh, he's not like, yeah. I got you. You could be his translator. Yeah, you go on there and then you go on the date and then it's like you get a little piece of pussy. He wants you to touch my cock. Yeah, he prefers to watch. Yeah. It's one of his tics. He wants you to touch my cock. He prefers to watch All right

It's Bobby failed this hey honored guest Some I'm Byron Byron Lord Byron to to live shots out to Lena's gang and So that the eldest for doing a much harder job than it appears to be much honor and respect to you, sir But anyways, I got this gay friend and I love hanging out with him. We hang out a lot It's trying to know a few times a month and then When we do we watch movies and we smoke and we talk shit and he teaches me about gay culture and I teach him about not you know like The other stuff that he's unaware of

Yeah, making eye contact with your father without being ashamed just classic shoes Just classic stuff. You ever hear of shoes? Yeah, you know, your toes don't always have to be out. His gay friends wearing sandals in a snowstorm, he's like, no, we have these things called boots. Bro, you drink water? Let me put you on the water here. You don't always have to wear a harness in a warehouse.

Alright, let's see what we got here. But he is always making these super sexual jokes and like innuendos towards me. And it's funny how I get it straight out of the food all the time, but this is my gay friend who actually, I don't know, he would. And he tells me that he wouldn't because he has tremendous respect for my girlfriend and if I was drunk and in a bad place he wouldn't because he has a tremendous respect to my girlfriend and like if I was drunk and in a bad place He wouldn't take it But then if you're like, hey, man, by the way, if you were drunk And in a bad place

I wouldn't rape you If you're saying those words out loud you're thinking about sucking his passed out cock For sure. You've never known i've never said that to a woman like it just so you know I would never commit sexual assault against you you just don't Because I respect your partner That's fucking awesome right keep going the second you were asleep. But your girl, she's top-notch. That's fucking awesome. Alright, keep going. We hang out and he's always like, he chooses to watch a movie and he chooses to lie down on my lap in order to like, watch it. I could give a fuck, I don't care really about being touched.

But it's like I know, I know it might mean something to him and I always make sure there's like a barrier a sort of Make it not but last time we hung out you like raise the top of my legs and like just the tip of my penis and then you got like all excited and shit and like I Just had his hands away Real I'm like, pause, this can't be real. This guy, no, bad gay guy. I roll up a newspaper, hit him in the nose when he grazes my, cause dude, he grazed my penis

and he goes, ooh. Yeah, well don't rub his nose in it. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, you gotta rub his nose in pussy juice whenever he's mad. All right, keep going. Oh, excited and shit and like I just had his hands away like literally slapped him away is it bad bad don't do that and I laughed it off hard but should I stop hanging out with this guy I don't right I'm not homophobic but

Maybe you should be Do you think this is a real question real weird relationship this guy clearly is trying to fuck you dude Yeah, there's a real question. Yes Don't like I would say don't hang out them the same way I would tell a hot girl if a guy that's always talking about how She doesn't like nice guys and it's just like you know well I hung out with you so why don't we make out like he's kind of like give he's it's feeling like like just kind of like almost incel behavior that's hidden by how gay he is you know I mean it's almost fun gay incel like this is like trying to escape the friend zone,

but in a gay way of just hanging around and just seeing if the guy will let you suck his cock. That's the feeling. That's a joke. Yeah, so I think this is insane. I mean, this is like, you can't... I mean, it's pretty sad. Maybe dial it back.

That this guy can't put up a boundary and say how he feels because of fear that he'll be perceived as homophobic. There's nothing to do with being homophobic. Yeah, this guy's thanks Obama. Yeah, first you take Bernie Mac from us, then you can't let us fuck him. Let him know, let those you know what's know what's what. Well, I mean, like it's just if something's making you uncomfortable, share how you feel.

It has nothing to do with being gay I'm sure if this was a girlfriend of his and she was doing the same It would make him think of him as a woman. You don't want to fuck Yeah, think of this is a fat lady from your office behaving this way would you give her this much grace probably not? Or if the if it was reversed if it's like a guy making I mean he's Okay, again, if this is real, which I I don't think it is. This is crazy, but if it's like a guy making I mean he's Okay, again, if this is real, which I I don't think it is this is crazy, but if it is Someone you don't want to fuck you grazing the tip of your penis over and over again That is literally slow grade sexual assault edging yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so yes this guy has blown through your back. I don't really care, but he's jerking himself off Yeah, I think like yeah, you're just Come on Jesus fucking Christ. I mean the funny thing is I've never ever been attracted to any friend of mine. Come on. Like I've never...

You're just talking about how handsome Racine is. I notice your tits in every shirt you wear. No honestly, I've never been attracted to friends of mine. I have never been attracted to you. We're like tight clothes. I've never had a fantasy about. But like, this is like a level of,

you're gonna make fun of me, but this is why I know I'm not gay, because I've never. Thank you. Oh yeah, oh beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Finish up, no, no. I'm not even here. Just go Let me just watch this delusion, and this is just pure uncut. Oh, I'm not one of those homos Like mr.. Garrison

You're like the pull your pants up You're like the pull your pants up, pull your pants up of black guys but of gay guys. I'm the kind of gay guy that respectfully sucks dick in an alley next to garbage where I belong. We got Candace Owen over here. We got gay Candace Owens. I mean it's ridiculous with these gay people. I'm not taking it to an elementary school to let them watch drag queens read books. Just talk about on your podcast twice a week. So anyway, Ian, go ahead. I've never been, that's a boundary I've never crossed with like a friend of being like a sleepover.

I mean like, well maybe, like that's, it just, unless I get a little whiff of what you're throwing my way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little pitter-patter. Didn't you say you used to suck your friend off in middle school? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's pretty hot. That is, yeah, that is pretty hot, man. That's not hot. And later tonight we would change it to our sexting cybersext screen name so no one could even see that we were online. That's awesome. You were on the dark web. Oh yeah.

Talking about how you couldn't wait to suck Don Tarius' got when you got the fucking soccer practice By some chance you're watching and you're tired of your family Dean's dad is in heaven like god damn it no because when you're in heaven, there's no sadness What's going on with my connection my cable to my family keeps cutting out God's like yeah, I'm sorry man We gotta get the technicians. It's every time he's doing God is lying to his dad about the connection being down Come on But yeah, dude, uh just this guy just wants to fuck you and he's a weird friend tell him you don't feel comfortable Yeah, it's not literally not homophobic. Yeah, it's it's just stand up for yourself and say it's uncomfortable And you want to support him, but if he gets up touch you you can't be friends with him anymore And also like country so well, you can't even beat your gay friend

That's right, you can't even commit a hate crime in place of having an uncomfortable conversation And then take it out on every woman and child you have with a deep-seated anger because you think this makes you gay even though it's nothing to do with your sexuality. Yeah, yeah, that too. Um, alright, so... There's the cable in heaven coming. Yeah, geez, God, come on. What's going on? This is heaven for Christ's sake. Every time my kid goes on the computer,

the cable goes out. I just want to see what he's looking at. I just want to see the enriching educational web series he's no doubt watching. We don't have the internet up here. Alright. Okay, give us another one.

Big LD. I love the misspellings from the Google. Hi Stubby. Hello elders. Stubby and elders. They stop. Buddy Elvis. Hi Stubby.

Hello, Elvis. And hello to our esteemed guest. That's right. So I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. To give you like a quick backstory about me, I'm a junior at a big university in the South. I'm liberal and I'm not religious. If you can imagine, the average guy at a university like mine,

he's very conservative and Christian. So I haven't had like great luck dating-wise. The last semester, I really hit off with this guy that I was taking had like great luck dating wise. The last semester I really hit off with this guy that I was taking class with. The flirty aren't off throughout the semester but when the semester ended he texted me and was like sorry I've been flirting with you I just really need to figure out my like shit with my ex I don't want to lead you on can we pick this back up next semester. I didn't know like how to respond so I was like thank you for telling me and like sure no it's like no big deal we were only flirting. So this semester starts and he

starts texting me again and last week he says like hey are you free tonight and I'm like um gee yes I am thinking that he was gonna finally like actually ask me out only for him to say like great then you can come to my campus ministry He really truly is dude flirting with a woman to get her to come to your Bible study Like that's fine come anyway, you'll get to meet new people I've never been to his like an evangelical kind of church and I always wanted to like check it out So I say like yes to going but I make it clear that this is like an academic experiment to me As you can imagine these people are actually

to me. As you can imagine, these people are actually brainwashed, like it's insane. Anyway, but after the sermon was over, I debated this guy for an hour, like an actual hour about theology and Christianity. Obviously, we came to different conclusions, but like the conversation didn't end on bad terms. But since terms Conversation he has like virtually stopped And so now I don't know what to do Show him your pussy and tell me you want to see God Agree show your pussy. Yeah, I mean but also I guess I guess it's hot. Yeah You just want a little cable time Go ahead, I mean I have an idea but let's let her finish now, I don't know what to do

so I have two questions like We have the same sense of humor. We are so sarcastic with each other and we also have that like similar career trajectory So on all other levels, it really makes sense for us to date So my question is do you think that I should call it quits while I'm ahead and try to find somebody else Like during undergrad or do you think I should confront him and be like hey, can we like work this out? No work what out my second question is would you? It was okay all right, and I'm trying to finish the call, but yeah, it was fine. Someone who doesn't have the same religious beliefs as you. So, thank you, Savvy. Thank you, everyone.

Sorry if this is too long. Okay, so our second question was, would you personally date someone who doesn't have the same religious beliefs? So the first thing Ian is right, there's nothing to call quits. In fact, if I were you, I would be annoyed at this guy because you thought you were gonna go out on a date and then he's like, hey, come to fucking Bible stuff. Like even if it's not a religious thing, let's say I had chemistry with someone, she even went out of her way to be like,

hey, sorry for leading you on, I have some shit to do with my ex. And then when they hit you up, they're like, let's take religion out of it. They're like, oh, are you free? And you you're like yeah, you've already come you're like yeah Hell yeah, and they're like want to go to geography club like if it was I'm not going to more school Yeah, two hours out of your day. Yeah, that sucks So like there's but there's nothing say she's always been interested in seeing these types of things just once though

She said she's wanted to go she's basically went out of curiosity Just once though she said she's wanted to go she's basically went out of curiosity And then they had a debate and he stopped hitting her up after that so for two reasons number one I don't know why you're interested in him. I think it's pretty clear. He kind of your Muslims where you live yeah Yeah, yes, I wonder she wouldn't be able to talk and send this email Booking at the cellar you'll be doing a benefit with Voss and Berg Raising money for more bombs for the IDF. Anyway, um, yeah, so like there's nothing to- I don't think that they should be bombing anymore, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anymore, hilarious. Anyway, um- Wait, when's this coming up? Yeah. So, um, yeah, like look, this guy's- this is done, and you should understand that. And it feels like even you didn't understand why, you said it yourself, you were just flirting. It's not like you guys hooked up, it's not like you guys went on any dates. Completely call it quits. There's not even anything to call quits.

Like, I guess, but I mean, I also get this. She's young, she's in college. And flirting is super fun. When you're young and you have that Like vibe with someone at school and you're like, what could this be? So I get it but like Absolutely cut your losses. I don't think that the religious I Don't think that you're at an age where

Eliminating people for their religious beliefs is what you should be doing Necessarily, you don't it seems like you don't even really know what you believe, whatever, and when you're young and it's not about like, do we, this is also kind of how you figure out what's important to you. Dating people, being friends with people, having people close to you of different, I think it's good that you went and tried stuff out, and look, if in the future you happen to meet someone

who you really hit it off with and they have a different religious beliefs, try dating and see for yourselves. For some people it works, for other people it doesn't. Me personally, I'm not a religious person. I would date pretty much anyone if they were just casually religious. As long as they weren't as extreme as this guy or orthodox assumption if somebody was like you know if someone was like Sort of culturally Christian or Jewish or Muslim or whatever the fuck yeah, I would date

So I don't like made a question answer debate something that stops them from communicating with you further Yeah, I'm like that's if they didn't do that you mean yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that that's just It wouldn't work out. Yeah, I personally don't fucking care about about that as long as they're not extremists It's almost not the zealots zealots, but yeah, but I think for you Compute you're at fucking college at a huge university Just just keep moving you know what I mean when you live in the south though because in the south there's like religious guys But then there's southern guys who are like liberal, and it's their whole identity right right they're like yeah I'm from Alabama, but I'm liberal. Yeah. Yeah, I'll let my gay friend touch my

Yeah, but also she said in the first thing like I go to a huge southern whatever there's a million other people Yeah, you're gonna meet a million other people absolutely I feel like she's so like cock deprived though at this weird evangelical school that like I don't think it's an evangelical school All right, go whatever it sounds like people are like overwhelmingly like conservative religious whatever and this guy's just like a normal nice guy Right just like too religiously incompatible, but she's like okay. He doesn't seem too fucking crazy You make the same corny jokes or whatever and like yeah, you know I guess make him read the Quran is like a last-ditch What if she what if you gave what like a last-ditch thing is like confronting and be like hey I really enjoyed talking to you spending time with you

I know it got kind of weird with like the religious debate, but is there any way we could I don't I just don't go on a date with you I don't know like and then is it on her to like try to make it also here's the other thing He's made it he's clearly shown what he's like yeah, but he's not texting her He was like just come even if you don't believe he was expecting her to be like well This wasn't really my cup of tea, but it's kind of interesting and in his mind Maybe they were gonna court and then over time become Christian whatever like she's clearly also he probably doesn't like a You know an opinionated woman. You know what I mean like this is a fucking evangelical you think he wants his bitch talking back about

How there's too much He doesn't want to be like well, why is there suffering in the world well cuz God it's good to prove But yeah, I don't know I think I know you're saying all this she does seem cock-deprived here But still you're at a big university there's gonna be even though demographically it's not your you might have made a slight mistake there's still at least a handful of people that are more your vibe like yeah even in these big southern universities there's gonna be people that you mesh with more and so I say keep it moving sister yeah next question hell dunce

Next question, Haldons. Stavi, Eldis, beautiful guest. What's going on? Hope everyone's having a good time on the pod. Got a family related question for you. So I have a younger sibling that's non-binary, assigned female at birth. Years ago, and we're all pretty tight. My siblings awesome. But they had been holding out telling our parents all this time up until very recently when my mom asked their pronouns not realizing her question would lead to my sibling coming out to them in the moment. So now my mom knows and she's been very accepting and loving to my sibling

It did rock her world a little bit But mostly due to her feeling bad about my sibling holding out for this long and other things like calling them My daughter all this time and not knowing the ramifications of saying that But the only person in the family that doesn't know is our dad, who is a little more conservative than the rest of us, but I know that he would also be accepting and show love to my sibling, because he loves us all very much. I do feel like there is now a sense of urgency to my sibling coming out to our dad, because my mom is now in a situation where she is having to keep a secret from her husband and that's not fair to her.

So I want to encourage my sibling to come out to our dad, kind of like being a bridge between them and my parents. So how can I do this without coming off too pushy? They can be standoffish at times and I don't want to put too much pressure on them. So let me know what you guys think. Elvis, don't you dare play this to end an episode. This is a serious one. Fuck you.

Fuck you. They'll grow out of it in a couple years. Okay, next one. Yeah, this is interesting. Like the telling, yeah, it's like, you can't really, I see what you're saying about your mom like being put in an awkward situation, I suppose. But like, ultimately it is about what your sibling wants. And you can talk to them about it and just be like,

what are you thinking? Like, should we tell dad? Is this, you know, do you want mom to help tell? Like, what, you know, what do you, just even ask them, like, what are you thinking about it? Like, you could even be like, hey, it went pretty good with mom. Yeah.

It's probably, you know, I think it'd be cool. It sounds like they're all very close. Yeah, exactly. You know, and if they've been supporting them for years, I mean, I don't know the ins and outs, but you know, like you said, like certainly why couldn't they sit down with their sibling and be like, hey, this is what it is.

And like, we know dad and this, that, and the other. And why don't we, whatever you feel comfortable with, I just think it would help if we could all you know like You know share this and we don't bring us closer. You know you could just also get a mullet start wearing athleisure only yeah, you know Also do it get get he could he could no no if his sibling like how non-binary is your sibling? Presenting yeah, we get them a jumpsuit Theo Vaughn's haircut

Attitude for no reason Obviously a job at Starbucks where you fuck up people's orders someone got his little frappuccino fuck You should be boycotting Starbucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't and that's why I chat today so fast It was Allah giving you diarrhea So yeah, I mean this is just like I See what you're saying about but it seems you gotta let people come out on their own terms Yeah, but also it's yeah I think it's a strange thing though in a way of like well the mom knows and is very supporting like yes

The dad is the last puzzle piece but the mom also has a relationship with the dad and could maybe soften the blow or like talk to the dad and be like hey look and then as Time comes or the dad could even be like, because the mom said the only reason she is upset or anything is because she was saying the wrong thing for so long and loves their child. So like maybe the mom could say it so that the dad can be like, look, I love you.

I agree, but I think I agree with you. And I think there's plenty of ways where this could work out fine and nicely. But I also think our caller here, as far as what his job is here, is just like talk to your sibling, see what they wanna do, see how you can be supportive. If you feel really strongly about how it's not fair to your mom, you can bring it up once as like that,

hey, why don't we think about this, ultimately whatever your mom's fine your dad probably doesn't even have fucking any idea You know what I mean? Also, it's like they they go by they them like they're not getting surgery or like any like astronaut It's like just it's not that big of a deal anymore. Yeah, I mean I mean it might be the thing is it might be to them You know what I mean I mean it might be the thing is it might be to them. You know what I mean? Like who's We're not doing who's on we're not doing non-binary who's on There they that like it's not that big of it. Yeah, I agree. I agree with you obviously but To the non-binary sibling is higher me and Mike will go kick the shit out of their dad

No one's gonna be cool. I just mean go around and beat the shit out of people's parents that don't accept them Just beat it into them So yeah, but I do think ultimately I love you then! Yeah. So yeah, but I do think ultimately, even a general thing, if someone has a secret or is coming out for anything, right? Like whether it's like being gay, being trans, being non-binary, or even just something they're just, they're keeping, they have some desire to do something that they'd rather keep private.

Whatever it is, it's not up to you Yeah, it would make your life easier and your mom's life easier if you came out to you It's also not there you also tell exactly you don't know the ins and outs of your your siblings Relationships and worries about telling your dad right I so I would just say talk to them Like maybe talk specifically about like what's going on like I you know Pitch it to them and then see and even just be there as an opportunity to talk it out with them about You know their feelings towards your dad about coming out in general You could say it's not a big deal whatever but it's like so aren't mom supposed to keep secrets all moms do is keep secret

Yeah, yeah, they love it. Yeah, they love they love you. Although they love gossiping too. They do Yeah, so that's I tell you the funniest you got to come out before your mom. Yeah, let's fills the beans She's a fine. She might have already told her dad. I saw a video of a mom Getting the family together to sing happy birthday to a woman that the dad Wished happy birthday to on Facebook that the mom hated. It was, and she was like, we're all gonna wish Kathy a happy birthday because your father thinks it's so important

to wish a woman that I don't like happy birthday on Facebook. Happy birthday, and the three year old kid's like, happy birthday, and the dad's like, you are ridiculous. This is, I mean, this is too much. Yeah. Respect, respect to her. Yeah, being married's great.

Alright, give us another one, LD. Bobby, this is, hello. This is Rick from Maryland. I have a bit of a situation I'm planning my hitting against friends faster party you know coordinating getting the Airbnb trying to figure out events to do get everybody's information and let them know what it is where we're going where it is how much is per person the split cost of the Airbnb mostly and one guy confirmed a hundred percent down and then two weeks out basically set the message saying a i'm probably have to work that week

uh... will probably not be going but if i do which is fine typically you think happened i can understand that we don't understand the thing if he does if he is able to go from how he not he doesn't work. He's just gonna stay at his friend's house That's local to the area that we're visiting. That's crazy didn't mention The bill or anything or paying for his portion that he understood. He was kind of you know Talk this dude, I can't think straight right now, but come on like am I being that it's the it's the principal, right? I agree. It's the principal's the principle right? I agree

It's the principle not the money necessarily that's not gonna hurt me in any real-world situation But like he's just gonna show up like while we're in like hey guys. How's it going? I'm just like you're just staying at your friend's house We're all doing this thing together And then you just kind of slivered away and just like got out of a little bit of obligation a little bit of cash like It just pisses me off, and I don't want to be the Debbie Downer on vacation, make it awkward and like confront him. I don't know.

What do you guys think? Give me something please. Thanks guys. Sorry, Ian was having diarrhea again. So you all agreed to go on this trip. Yeah, so basically, basically what happened is- It's for a bachelor party. It's a bachelor party and he's, I guess the-

But so it was a long piss. You couldn't have held him in? No, I've had to go for something. Oh really? anyway, I Do have an issue with my my prostate go ahead. What is that from? It's been getting Nice man So basically yeah, I guess he's the the man

Or tell me in we're just organizing So basically, yeah, I guess he's the best man. Or just organizing. Yeah, you couldn't have waited to hear and then piss while we answer and then come back. I had to piss so bad. Okay, whatever. Yeah, he's organizing his best friend's bachelor party. Everyone confirmed, this guy confirmed, he's 100% in,

and then he was like, hey guys, I think I'm probably gonna have to work. But then the guy said, now if by some miracle I'm able to get out of working I'm probably just gonna stay at the guy's house so his friends some different guys not part of the party So he's not basically here's what I think is happening here. This guy doesn't want to pay for the Airbnb he's trying to weasel out of it and And like that that I agree with him It is the principle where it's like it from the beginning. He had been like hey, man money's a little tight

I want to come to this but I'm gonna crash at my friend's place. And by the way You don't think this guy's gonna end up sleeping on a couch if he's too fucked wrong I can like that's it does I agree with you all oh, well, I didn't get a room. I was just on the cat Yeah, so and and again you are right paying attention you are right where? You will have to be kind of a dickhead to be like To like you just have to yeah, do you want to confront him about it? I sort of get that. I get being like, hey dude, this is fucked. But he is just trying to weasel his way out of it. And you do have to decide, is this worth making a big scene about?

Or part of me, I've said this before, this came up before in a different episode And I do think there's a little bit of cost of doing business when you You're the one in charge of the bachelor party Just understand you're gonna you're gonna be down a couple grand like you're just like you're gonna be fucked That's part of being the best man being the guy who plans it someone's gonna welch someone's gonna do something You're gonna have to hunt people down for money. Welch on, like, you know, like you Welch on your, what you owe people. Like walk out on? It's a fucking word.

Put it, look, dictionary, go to dictionary.com. I've never heard that before. Have you ever heard that before? You Welch on something? No, but I mean I trust him enough I think to. Welch definition please. well, it's fruit juice To avoid payment Is that good Ian? Yeah, I have to hold the podcast every time you don't every time you don't know

You mean once in a million fucking podcast But why did you cheat first of. Because I wanted better context and understanding of what you were saying. How about context clues? It's a guy who doesn't want to pay for it. Did you know what he meant by Welch? I've never heard that term before, but I didn't stop the show.

But did you know what I was talking about? Fucking just pause ingredients in this kid's head all the time and fucking read in the Quran. He's not paying attention to what you're saying. Whatever, fuck you Ian. We'll get you a word of the day calendar. Hey, if at home you are glad that I got understanding what Welch meant, like my special, share it with a friend, Ian Finansma. Ian, er, I'm sorry. Ian, quiet down. I'll just, from now on, go back and bleep every, what the special's called.

So let's just not ever say what it is and link to receive special twice Like Game of Thrones, you know How's Targaryen a Classic in tag that's just a thing. He knows Voice or sound reference in an act out voice or sound. We don't have 10 minutes for crowd work that goes nowhere. What?

Okay Ian. I'm like, I started an ally ship with Stavros. You're talking about your own act? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Whose crowd work goes nowhere? I'm like, I started an ally ship with All right Elvis let's pull up some Ian crowd work videos. Actually, he's just he's just kind of made his own bed

And we will be sleeping in it all together but Yeah, dude, so you have to decide here like what like what do you want to do about this? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I reworked this joke by the way. Yeah let's listen to this one. I reworked this joke. Let's listen to this one. No no no. It's much better. You know what Ian how this? We'll just go to your Instagram and pick the three most recent ones. Blind. I haven't posted anything blind. Just blind.

I got nothing to hide. You got nothing to hide. Let's play this one. This one's really good. We've played it before. My great cat, I call him my little house wolf. His name is Samson and he is just a cute, oh my god he's so gorgeous. Oh I kiss him on his little fish lips. Mmm, mmm, mmm. I grab him I go, you are a vampire, you are a vampire. And I make him have his little fangs out.

Yeah I took that part out and now I go, I'm a Chinese. What was he going to do, run away? I don't think so. He's like, you need me. Oh yes. Woo! Go to Ian Fieden's, let's go to his YouTube. I don't think so you need me Let's go to his YouTube check out my special Ian Fiedance, I'm normal

Just search yes, come on I'll just do a little my YouTube turned into that I turn my YouTube into the podcast YouTube. Oh, that's good Let's see. Let's see what the I go for it But yeah, so in this case, I agree. I know why this guy's mad, right? I know why the caller is mad, but you have to decide eldest go down Go down Go down Go down. Oh, let's see what that one is. That's just a picture.

Oh, it's just a picture. Go down. Oh, here we go. Your dad is kind of gay. Let's see what this one is. We haven't heard this one yet. I'm just guessing it's bad. All right, go to the beginning.

Gay. Is he bisexual? Maybe. Maybe. Hmm. Well. What are you doing later? Because you obviously have daddy issues. There it is folks.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Well, and you see what I like is Ian paused. You saw it load. You see that great quick loading. Well well it took him three Why don't I suck your dick Ending was very funny Thank you If you do play clip go down to the one of me riding a horse is it anyway? Anyway. Anyway, whatever. Let's um, we'll play more later. Uh, this is um, to answer this guy's question, um... Yeah, I don't know man, you just have to fucking eat it and then...

You could just be like, okay man, well can you let us know? No, no, you know what actually? If he's like, I can't make it, cause it's not just the the Airbnb. There's other activities aren't there? What are you laughing about? That's the gift of being bad at stand-up comedy That's what you bring to the world? I'm a fucking prolific stand-up. Prolific? Do not ask how. Or I'm a profiler.

Do you think prolific and profile are connected as words? It's Welch. This is my fault. I've let you bring me down into the retard mud. That's on me. That's on me. Water's fine. Come on in boys, the water's fine in here.

Okay. But so I would say, how about this? This guy's like, hey hey if I do happen to come Like I'll stay with my friend aren't there other activities like when I did a bachelor party was like we went to a basketball game We went to a fight. We want to see wrestling. We got reservations at a steakhouse like he can't be like We put on wigs and went to a comedy show We're going to put on lipstick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got drunk off White Ziffendale.

Tried to fuck every black host. Not to sell them seeing blackface. Anyway, so I would, yeah. This guy is clearly trying to weasel out of the Airbnb. But a bachelor party is about you're planning everything. So I think you have to be like, hey man, are you going to be, are you going? Because if that's the case,

we have to change our reservation, we have to do this. So either tell us, if you can't go, great, if you can, we'd love to have you, but we kind of have to know everybody else has been confirmed for months. I think that's how you handle it. And then if he's like well I can come But I'm not staying at the Airbnb then you could be like well what the fuck if you're coming You're staying at the Airbnb already confirmed. Yeah, so that's how I would go about it personally

Yeah, or hey if you're not staying pay what yo right right right because otherwise, it's a shitball move Yeah, absolutely absolutely up front about it And so I just wouldn't let him get away with the hey if I do happen to come because that's also bullshit Well now you got an empty slot, so maybe the the guy's fiance can come Yeah, that's true. Maybe yeah, you get a couple girls there. That'll be you call your girlfriends can come The guy can bring his mom Don't spend any time with my mom My best buds of my mom

Perfect bachelor party I wouldn't mind my mom being at the day part of a bad party my mom come and bring in some some sweets All right, I'll just what else we got brother Alright, Aldis, what else we got, brother? Cut the crust off everybody's sandwiches? Ew, that's not bad. It's pretty fucking good. Laugh at all your jokes and stop, doesn't. Stoppy baby. Hello, Aldis. Hello, lovely cat. Who's fault is that, Ian?

Last call wasn't fast enough. So I'll try and do it a little shorter, I think. I'm a sperm donor for a friend of mine. She's a lesbian woman. I live on the other side of the country from her. I'm asking because I want your advice on how do I tell my parents eventually once the kid exists. They're old school Catholic. They're kind of judgmental about Alternative family arrangements. Where's your come-going son? You better not be putting it in any fart away pussy. I hope you're not donating your sperm to any lesbians. Oh please. I think because I want your advice on how do I tell my parents eventually that

the kid exists. Ian did you clog his toilet? It's like so funny. They're old school Catholic, they're kind of judgmental about... Let me check it out for you Steph....faring the family arrangements, a little more context. Kind of my good friend, lesbian woman, like I said, she didn't want any parental obligation on my part, so I thought great, even better. Like help the girl out and I think she'd make a great mom. So thank you, love the show, love the pod. Take it easy.

Yeah, it's none of your parents' business how you make $75. Absolutely. But truly who gives you don't like you're a sperm donor, brother, especially this woman didn't want you to have any parental obligations. As far as I'm concerned, this is not your kid at all. It's not your fucking parents grandchild

You don't have to say shit to them in fact I What's the upside here? What is the good thing that happens not like this girl your friend said she didn't want you having any involvement that probably goes Double for your fucking Catholic parents. Yeah, you think when this woman asked for your nut She was thinking you your fucking annoying mom would know about your kid? I disagree. If you're an Italian Catholic,

you'd be in a bad Italian by not keeping your mouth shut. That's right. I disagree because what is the difference between no involvement and send me pictures and I wanna know about this and let's. One is one thing, one is another thing. Right, right, but what I'm saying is, you know, like, do you think that he will change in terms of like eventually he'll want to meet the child and he'll want to,

you know, like maybe have the child meet his grandparents? Like, why can't they maybe talk about it? Because a friend of mine did this and donated sperm to a lesbian couple. And he, you know, travels for work. He donated sperm to a lesbian couple and he, you know, travels for work. He's not around a lot, but he is involved in the sense that he comes around the child knows him. They know that that's your friend. We're talking about a different person. But like this, this whole like absolutely no involvement is kind of odd to me in

the sense that like sperm donor, you go to your kid's birthday party and you're like peering through the window and they just like close the blinds. I Don't think it's weird. I think like This is the obvious more sense right this is the situation they agreed upon they want to be the parents They want to be the parent. It's like we we want to adopt the kid They give it's like basically like right, but there's a difference between parental obligation and just updates on like your literal child Either way hold on hold on is hold on. This child is his.

No, it's not. It's not his kid. Yes, it's his sperm. It's not his fucking- That created a child. It's his child. Okay, what are you talking- dude, it's her kid. He's a sperm donor.

I understand, but that doesn't- Legally, it's not his kid. But scientifically, it is. So what? So what? Scientifically, an adopted kid, okay, then what? If somebody adopts a kid, it's not his kid, but scientifically it is So what so what that's scientifically an adopted kid, okay? Then what if somebody adopts a kid that's not their kid I'm not saying that but you can't deny the fact that this child is made from his sperm, which is his kid I'm not by definition. I'm not

Points fight ends is back in action like these What are these fucking logistics that we're talking these semantics that we're debating go ahead I'll go I'll go with the in here because I feel like it is more on his mind than just the arrangement if he's even thinking about like you know should I even tell my parents or some level of him like might be you know I'll have a kid out there do they deserve to know like they don't ran they have a grand, but they don't have a grand kid disagree They don't have a grand kid, but they do

What the fuck are you not that's not what don't like if you jack off in a cup like so he knows the girl What's the difference like it's donor donor you give it up? Yeah, but there's not even a parent really Like it's donor donor you give it up. Yeah, but there's not even a parent really This is fantasy of having a child a family You know, he's not gonna get one the regular way So he's like, oh one of my lesbian friends is gonna want me to jack off in a car. Yeah, that's what I would want to be involved That's what I mean. You are personal. I know no, I'm not at all I'm not you just talk about your friend and how you would want to I I use the friend as an analogous situation I'm not personalizing. I'm not at all. You just talked about your friend and how you would want to be a friend. I use a friend as an analogous situation. I'm not personalizing.

I'm just saying logically, the child was made from his sperm. Two lesbians at the park trying to play with their kid and Ian's like, hey. Yeah, yeah. Where's the kid? Where's the sperm? Who jacked off into a cup?

Yeah. He should be here. He deserves to play catch. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that the child I'm not saying that. I'm saying that the child is his legality or not.

It's not though, dude. But he's an eldest. I would tell this guy, are you guys clear on what the arrangement's gonna be? Are you comfortable with that? I'm saying, I guarantee... So even if someone signs paper work. Can I finish? I'm saying I I I guarantee if he is good good friends with this woman He is going to have an incredibly difficult time moving forward having this child in his life

And not know that in your projecting in him going your project my son. I were completely projecting I don't know this guy at all Okay, so you're saying that this guy can just detach himself from biology and the fact that he actually gave life to something that is He's going yeah I think so if they're clear on the arrangement his parents like People are deadbeat dads constantly with women they love this This is just some guy who beat off in a cup for his friend. I could no problem beat off in a cup, and then somebody wants to have the kid, I will not think. I'll be like, oh, I wonder.

I couldn't do it. But that's what I'm saying. That's my entire point. Which informs my opinion. And my opinion goes against yours, and that's totally fine. We don't agree. No, but you are a odder person than most people. You have like, this is a perfect thing for you, Against yours and that's totally fine. No, but you are a hotter person than most people you have okay

You have like you like these this is a perfect thing for you because it's like you this is the exact thing you couldn't handle I think and you're because of how you're like like you just show up dressed like blue II like So you can see I think his kid I think this would be exceptionally hard for you in a way that it wouldn't be for most people. In what way? I think because you struggle with like, you search for intimacy and family and like connection in a way more than most people do.

And I think you would think a biological connection to a kid would mean like, you would assign importance to it that like wouldn't be the same for every person. That's what I'm saying. Possibly, but I am also just saying, take a step back. Do you think- You're being a biological realist in the way that's like, this is basically trans women aren't women,

but like adopted kids aren't your kids kind of shit. I've never said adopted kids aren't your kids, but I'm saying someone that is born from your sperm is your child by definition. They came from you. But it's pure semantics. Pure semantics. As somebody who made a kid with my sperm, like the doesn't really it's not it's raising like yeah I

think that's a cocked somebody in well you are bisexual man you're so you're telling me what you're telling me that if you say say you say Alice was a lesbian woman okay and you gave your sperm to him. He didn't say it's his best friend. But if you had a sperm, you're not the one carrying it or like raising it or anything. By the way, Ian, Ian, if, if Eldis had a kid, I would care about it because it's Eldis's kid. Right. If it was my jizz, it wouldn't change it. It would, I would still love his kid like I'm his uncle. I understand. The same way. And he can have that relationship with her, but that doesn't mean this I mean, this is crazy that we're talking about this this long. This is you're just wrong

I you're just wrong and you're adding for 20 minutes the podcast for no reason We spent 20 minutes on that dumb guys. Well, I asked my friend for money for an Airbnb How do I confront another man? I'm a pussy. It was not what I'm asking is you don't and most of what we spent the time was watching Your shitty stand-up. That's what we were doing opinion I love some more Eclipse This is the guy who's making this point The guy who posted Samson vampire not set it on stage. You're the one

on stage and vampire not set it on stage you're the one we all say dumb shit on stage but the one in me and it was like this the people got to see this one anyway whatever it was three years ago okay it's I still do the bit kind of now I am but you know what I'm just saying do you think that eldest could have your son and you wouldn't feel some sort of connection or some sort of longing or some sort of deeper thing to his child seeing him raise your child. Being an uncle is fine. I would feel the same. Like, Elders is maybe a bad example because no matter if it was my nut or his nut, I would be, that's a kid that I love and want to be there for. Of course. Right? So it's like, but no it wouldn't

change. Like, donorship man, that's the same thing. That's what kid that I love and want to be there for. Of course. Right? So it's like, but no, it wouldn't change. Like, donorship, man, that's the same thing. That's what we're talking about. You are a donor. If I give somebody my fucking kidney, you're not like, hey, let me look at your fucking belly. But they are going to start developing your looks and your mannerisms. You're feeling like-

Not even necessarily. That's not how- I just disagree. And I feel like I've stated my point and you're insulting me and telling me I'm dumb and this and that the other which and I I love fucking jokes, but I'm not being dumb I feel like I'm clearly stating you're being a biological realist in a strange way where you're putting importance on the Biological material over the act of raising someone over the act of the hours you spend with them And in my my argument doesn't change his mind easily yeah yeah that's true I do well

not like when you're confronted with different information yeah sometimes I would say how about you guys like but very gradual yeah yeah because it takes me time to process I'm not a spider fucking pussy that goes yeah you know what guy you're right I'm wrong but I have and you admit this because it's happened had Conversations walked away and then later contact okay And you're right in a week call me so we can discuss this okay fine, but but also I'm just okay That's it. That's besides the point. We've we were on some dumb like I don't think we are some dumb like I don't think we are a man argument calling me dumb I said dumb semantic argument agrees with me about this is dumb too

fucking pocket go ahead go ahead see I could see what Ian is saying that I'm sure like this probably does happen with people who like donate sperm sometimes yeah but it's like kids I gotta pick up mine in 10 minutes yeah Mike's son has just been in the whole time with the windows rolled up yes but okay but it's like if he goes into it like agreeing to these terms she lives across the country and you know he's like yes I'm the sperm donor like you can't you can't be like you know you can't be like well what if you know I had a crystal ball in 20 years from now he has some yes I'm like

thing where he's like oh my god that's my son and right haven't been like present for his life like you know if we take at face value that they agree on the arrangement like you can't say you know I don't know it's it I definitely wouldn't call it like I would his his parents grandkids how about this Exactly. Going off the... My biggest issue here is going off the information we have. What you're describing just doesn't... That's not present anywhere. Other than maybe the thought of like his parents. And I think that has to do more with his relationship with his parents, not this kid. And if he were to all of a sudden in 15 years say that's my kid I need to be involved he would be breaking their he would be breaking their agreement

He would be out of line probably breaking the law to you'd probably be breaking the exactly He would definitely be breaking the agreement he had with someone who doesn't want him to have any parental obligation Does going back to the original question and not the the argument that I think is relatively pointless that we're having His parents in my opinion Don't don't deserve shit here that it is not there. There's no way is it their grandkid There's no way it's their grandkid in no way would you consider this kid their grandchild? He donated his sperm, but he gave someone in lineage to them that does not matter That does not matter. I'm saying it matters, but I'm not saying he needs to tell them

I'm saying but that factually does matter it doesn't I only in this weird debate club You're trying to score like a point here, but in terms of their lives. Yes, okay Technically they share a quarter of DNA or an eighth of DNA with this baby, with this lesbian woman's son, fine, you got me there, Ian. But it is not their grandchild, it is not someone that they, you know, that they have any, in my opinion, they have no right to this woman's kid. This woman doesn't want that.

When he entered into this agreement, she was like, hey, I need someone to help me have a kid would you do it? She was not thinking about dealing with his parents. The kids grandparents are her parents that's who the kids grandparents are and he would be out of line and he would definitely be out of line first of all for him to even think about this without saying I mean the person you talk about this with is your friend. It's a friend. Exactly it's like I guess in theory if she's like yeah they can be you know if you know if she feels like she wants them involved my hunch is no but the thing is this is not I guess the overall thing is the order of who's important

here is the woman first the kid, the baby, him, him, yes. And then way down the list. I'm in total agreeance with you on all of that. Totally. But that's what I'm saying. Your point just didn't really matter. We just got into a semantic debate that doesn't change the facts of the thing. And so.

And I'm putting a little bit of my stink on it, but I do feel that, you know, like, I don't know. It's being a sperm donor for a friend and being like, this kid isn't even going to know that I exist, but I'm going to keep a relationship with her. That to me is like, well, I think you're selling yourself short, the kid short, the mom short. Like, why wouldn't you want some sort of, know the kids gonna want to know his father one day Unless you know the mom is lying that like this and that like I would assume so I mean But all this bird does not a father make I'm not saying I'm just saying like directly this child exists because of him and

Okay that fine. He did the child Got me there the child one day may be like hey What was dad like I want to know this and that and if he's in the light That's not it might not talking about and exactly that's you get you cross that bridge when you get to it And it's the mother's decision cross the bridge of telling the parents when the kid gets older I don't think there's any if the woman's pregnant. I think it would be fucked up to go. Hey mom and dad I got a woman pregnant, but I'm not gonna be alive. He didn't get a pregnant I found out that somebody donated sperm to my mom. I wouldn't be like oh, I need to meet the sperm donor

Yeah, that's not my dad. My dad is I mean I would I'd be like maybe I get a good dad Change my name to Stavros Williams or whatever the fuck the guy is. And I do think our history is with dads and everything does inform our opinions on this issue. But again, what I'm saying is I don't think he should tell his parents now. I don't think it's any of their business right now. But I do think down the line eventually a conversation will more likely than not necessarily not necessarily I well I disagree and I would say I would say he needs to talk

He needs to talk to the woman about this for his friend first and foremost So how about this he talks to a woman and she says under no circumstances tell your parents then what does he do? He crosses his fingers behind his back But this is the only chance I'all have to have a child! Please, my mom's about to die! She can't, she's gotta know the Fodan sheet is going on! Conversations and her jokes and her close to real life. No, that's all we're talking about here, is that it?

No, no, no. I think like obviously yes, with the agreement that you have as a mom I'm just I'm just saying I and I could totally be wrong. I fully admit that but I I do think at a certain point Something will come down the line if he's close friends with this woman There's going to be something deeper maybe not involvement, but some sort of conversation like hey Yeah, and then you came from but then he's in this this and that doesn't make him the dad The kids dad it makes him a very close family friend It makes him basically like an uncle figure in his in the kids life sure and like that's like that's again Not to bring it back to his question about how do I tell my parents?

You don't in my opinion and in fact Before you even think about telling them You need to have that conversation with your friend And if you think oh, I don't want to have that that's uncomfortable then you're that's your answer If you think your friends gonna be like what? Tell your fucking parent. That's not what we agreed on then you don't tell your parents now if your friend is like hey, man It's up to you, but just so you know this is my my son. He's not your son. Like that's the thing I just I guess this is an opportunity for you for our caller here

What like understand what you agreed on and even if your feelings have changed like ian, can you stop sending a cigarette? The baby is not gonna listen to sky Can you please just play real big fish stop sending him checker fucking fans and baby sizes Man I started saying that joke and then I looked at his feet and I was like guys I go no, he's really wearing them. No, I I mean I I think that the dude He better not fucking tell his parents because he's gonna if his parents are Christian Catholic conservative He's gonna tell them and they're gonna go yo, we want to meet this fucking kid They just go illegally and that's gonna be a huge fucking deal

That's what I've got your parents don't fucking say anything your parents. Do you text them every time you jack off? I know it's already right. All right. No, that's a great point. I don't know should I tech. Yeah, should I call my mom? Hey mom, I cream pie to woman yesterday If she's not on birth control, maybe you'll have a grandkid for I don't know ten days or so sort of sort of But yeah, dude don't say shit And if you ever even think about it talk to your friend first and understand that yes What's important here is her and her family that you were a donor to and donor is the operative word There's more time in between the child and you telling your parents the more

They'll probably be like willing to be okay with it Because right now they're gonna want to see the kid they're gonna want to oh my god blah blah and they're not allowed I know I wouldn't even I Don't even think we'd think in those terms at all, but yeah, let's let's finish this up Do you have a clip you want to play? We have a final question. I believe truck. We do I mean we do it we could play one quick Let's palette cleanser. We could play one quick. Palate cleanser, let's play an Ian clip just to kind of,

just to kind of clear the air. Did you see the one with the horse? Down. I hate young people, let's try that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, don't tell Seth. Okay, shh. Ian, stop talking over it. Replay it, replay it, replay it. This is good. I don't get me.

Well, just sit back and take your lumps. How do I? Delete. I don't like young people, I'm sorry, okay. I don't like young people, I don't like kids. I don't like anyone horned I don't like kids, I don't like anyone born after 9-11. Oh God. Okay?

I don't, I don't, how can you never forget? Look at the physicality. If you never fucking knew. Okay? Don't tell me how to live my life Aiden or Gracie. Oh the names! Oh no! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes ho ho! Oh ho ho! Oh you two faggots! I'm adding more names to the bed! Allergic to peanuts! He did a peanut allergy joke! Peanut allergy joke!

I'm not sorry! Suck my fucking dick! Sorry sorry sorry! I have a sex story that goes nowhere! I heard a bit about how your wife doesn't like hamas! Suck my fucking ass I'm a working god I eat my fucking dick And I really wish that I had not encouraged another bitch to play But my heels are done dick

And I'm not I said are they also gluten free? No but maybe the next time I tell her she will Peanut allergy First of all it's one thing to get a laugh on a name hack Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but maybe the next time I tell it to you, we'll get it. You know, allergy. First of all, it's one thing to get a laugh on a name hack. We all know that. To do five in a row, incredible. Incredible stuff.

Can I tell you, can I tell you, I did this in Vegas and it hit so hard to the point where I go, I'm not never doing this joke. Yeah. He hates young people, folks. I do. He hates young people. We're doing this You literally might be my favorite comedian no comedian brings me more joy than watching your clips. Good job, you ordered a piece of green joy, okay? I'm in on the big, you fucking cocksuckers. Suck my dick. Sure sounds like it by the volume of your voice right now.

I hate young people. Dude, the second I came the fuck are these young people? They say I'm peanut allergies. And they're named Aidan and Chrysanthemum. One person I met named Chrysanthemum. You're on the list. Holy shit that was awesome. You're on the list.

You know what, that's why we put up with that last conversation guys. It's because you give and you take in a relationship. All right. I'm literally in a great mood right now. Let's get a nice one going. Let's finish this off here. Go watch the special live, laugh, love, V and fight. And I'm normal Mike Racine on you on the YouTube brought now it's a link to here now go ahead finish us off elders

podcast of the special congratulations and everything this is actually a call for the guy who wants all the hair off his balls. So his wife will suck them I had something similar you guys time about waxing. Oh, yeah, you do thing you can do don't shave don't wax You get this shit called beats. It's like near but it like is Nicer on your balls each you got to get the beat sensitive skin. It's like the shit that's for women Yeah, you Veatch you gotta get the V sensitive skin. It's like the shit that's for women. It comes in a pink ball boohoo Yeah, you giving us all of your hands What a guy called the ladder all over your dick and balls you wait five minutes seven minutes hop in the shower Like take a washcloth and just fucking go to town on wherever you want the hair to come off and the hair comes off

Wow, it looks great. I love that. My wife it. I don't get on anything because not asking a question All right RELDA, GISELLE, JASMINE, TOBY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I think we're dead! Doing hack boomer comedy with your fucking Philly fanatic shin tattoo showing is so fucking awesome in shorts with a khaki shorts with a belt. Wearing Jordan on my shirt. Wearing a shirt off of me. Come on! Alright, that's gonna do it for us folks and remember, can you never forget if you don't remember if you never knew? Bye bye see you next time