Stavvy's World - Bonus #74 - Tommy Sinbazo [PATREON PREVIEW]

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld For a very special episode of Stavvy's World -- the first in a series from the Baltimore HQ of Stavvy Baby Enterprises -- Stav is joined by fellow Baltimorean Tommy Sinbazo to discuss the early comedy days, Tommy's decade-plus engagement, his entire family getting jumped in a street brawl, being ahead of the curve on plagiarism, 3D printing, Tommy's assets (sci-fi paraphernalia), his band Bussi, high tech adult toys, and much more. Tommy and Stav help callers including a pickleball player whose league members are annoyed at how aggressively he plays, and a man who got catfished by his cousin. Follow Tommy Sinbazo on social media: https://www.instagram.com/tommy_sinbazo/ https://www.facebook.com/tommy.sinbazo/ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Never tell you I had to I had to cut a guy with a box cutter. No In Lakeland this was growing up in Lakeland late 90s, right me and my three buddies were walking down There was a big park that apparently the city had no idea. There was a park. Oh, wow Because we had a community meeting where they're like, hey this giant steel rocket ship seems pretty dangerous and the city Representative was like what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, that's awesome. Like the park. So you just built your own little community park?

No, there was a park back there with a basketball court and me and my three buddies were walking down from his girlfriend's house and we saw like 15 black guys down there playing basketball, right? So we're like, fellas, let's get in. Let's tell you. Shirts versus Skims. Yeah. basketball right so we're like fellas let's get in let's tell you Shirts vs Skims! Room for three more gentlemen we were just about to play D&D

So we walk out we're like let's go This is also West Baltimore in 94 Yeah That's insane dude That's crazy that you're alive So fucking funny, so we walk we decide to walk around the park Yeah cut straight through or sure sure but they must have saw us because when we're going around to the connecting street now 15 is walking up the whole team comes up and my two buddies cross the street But I knew like two or three of them sure Sure, you're gonna talk your way out of it. What's up, Anthony?

Yeah. Hey, what's up, Beaver? That's cool. And then- Black guy named Beaver is awesome. Beaver was huge. Beaver was like six-five. A six-five toddler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get a lot of, it's kind of like eldest, basically. You get a lot of huge simpletons. But he- A lot of lead paint, probably, for Beaver. I walked between this wall, this retaining wall, and them, and out of a corner of lead paint probably from Forbeaver. I walked between this wall, this retaining wall and them, and out of the corner of my eye I saw fists come. Whoa.

So I turned my head and they hit the back of my head, glasses come off. Holy shit. And I would love to end this story with, so then I remembered my training. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I ended up balled up on the ground. Getting the shit kicked out of you. Just stomping the fuck out of me. When does the box cutter come in?

Well, hold on. So then when they. I was like, damn, Tommy fucking fought off a bunch of black dudes with a box cutter. Once they got tired. Yeah. Once they're winded from beating the fuck out of you. Man, I got to get all this white boy off my shoe.

So they turned away. they all walk away, there's only one left and I stand up to go get my glasses and the one's like, you better turn the fuck around. And I was like, I'm getting my fucking glasses. And he runs around the corner. Did the glasses survive? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. They just went flying off and landed.

Nice. And as soon as I was like, I'm going to get my glasses, he ran and he was like, hey, he's back up. And he came back around. Holy shit. And it was Friday after next. And I got jumped again. So this time, now they got a deep tissue burn.

Right, right, right, right. A lot of lactic acid build up in their calves from stomping you. Now by the time they walk away this time, I get back up, I look like Wally Coyote when a boulder falls on piano teeth. Apparently my friends had run down to my house, and they're like, hey, Tommy's getting jumped. So my loud kicked out of him. So my loudmouth ghetto sister comes up. Love her, yeah. TT. Shout out to TT.

Oh, man. I'm going to guess she was acquainted with at least 11 of those 15 guys. Yeah, well, biblically. A fucking white girl named TT in that neighborhood in 94. Ooh, brother. They ran a soul train on her. So she sucks them off to create a diversion. To further tire them out.

They're on the edge. So we go walking up there. My dad has this huge like, oh, staff. This key jewel, right? So we walk up and he's like, let's stay a couple. He has a staff? Well, like a big cane, but it's from an oak tree. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

So he's like, hey, let's stay a couple blocks behind him. Because we called the police, we'll flag the police down. So we go up a couple streets. If it looks like they're literally going to execute Tommy, we'll jump in, but in any other way, we're just going to jump. They have to wait for me to signal the archers. So we follow them up until that group of 15 meets up with another group of 15. Like, hey, tag in fellas. It was like the end level. We need some Arizona ice teas. It was like the end level. We need some gator. We need some Arizona ice tees. It was like a boss fight and double dragon.

Yeah. Jesus. So then, so we're staying like back and then my sister, she start going, why your motherfuckers got these bitches? You got me jumping my brother like little fucking bitches. Right? And they surround her, right?

Oh no. And it's like wolves. One will hit her from the back. They're hitting her sister. Yeah, they're beating the shit out of my sister. And she would turn and then someone else would hit her from the back. And now my dad, they just fucking bum rush my dad. Right? And Beaver. They fucked up your whole family. Beaver takes that fuck, that cudgel, that club and is just beating the shit out of my dad with it. Just one-handed, like, like that fucking troll

in the Harry Potter movie. There's someone you knew? This was your friend? No, not a friend. Your acquaintances. I knew not to go near that guy. So he's basically throwing my dad around, like, Hawke, throwing Loki.

So I run in, I push my dad out of the way, and Beaver swung once, and I blocked up my forearm. By the second time he was rearing back, I reached in my back pocket and had a box cutter. Well yeah, because that day, me and my buddies, we all had knives on us. But it was one of those box cutters, those cheap ones where it's just like a razor blade in a sleeve.

So I was able to just click it out with one hand, and then the second time I blocked, I stepped in and went across. Holy shit. And it, uh, I thought I just cut his sweatshirt cause there was no resistance. Right. And Beaver like stops and drops the, the thing. I pick it up. Some other guy comes running, punches me in the mouth and then they all, the cops pull up and they fucking scatter. You would have died for sure if the cops don't come at that moment. Yeah, so I tell the cop, I was like,

hey, I think I cut one sweatshirt and the cop was like, it was self defense, man. And then my dad's like, I think I got a fighter's fracture, right? And then my sister's like, I'm pregnant! So we all had to go to the hospital where I had to get two stitches in my lip. Oh my god. My dad had to get a cast on because he did fracture his hand plate.

Holy shit. And then turns out my sister, false pregnancy. She miscarried after getting stomped. But my one buddy John, who had ran off, he comes in because they had fractured his collarbone. But he came in and he said, 66. And I was like, what's that? And he goes, apparently that's how many staples it took to close Beaver's chest up. Holy shit. Apparently I caught him good right across the nipple.

What the fuck? And he had 66 staples across his chest. God damn, dude. Nice. So now I always carry a box cutter. What the fuck? And there was no retaliation for slicing. So a couple weeks later my sister was out in the front yard sunning herself and beaver on a rock because she's a lizard. She's

in a fight. She's getting a tan. Yeah. And beaver the one other guy I knew Anthony and some other guy they walked up and they walk into my yard and they have a pellet gun. Oh my God. And they're threatening to shoot my sister. You're like, I don't fucking care. Yeah, and I'm like inside like, oh well that's a her problem.

Yeah. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. But then like the cops, well so later, we call the cops, as soon as you say gun, the cops called them by the time they're up at the top of the street. Well, Beaver's mom was already out there. Right.

And her mom was, you know, my parents are up there. The mom's up there and she and your son is the one that would, you know, jump my son, jump my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They beat the fuck out of my family. Just because he's a big black boy, you think he's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was denying it and I was like, if he didn't jump me,

how did I know he had to get 66 staples across his chest there that's from the box cutter from him and like his eyes got real wide she like looked at him she was like Clarice. That's also what she was defending yeah she had no idea that her son was in there. She had no idea that her son was in there., I slipped. I slipped on a box cutter. That's fucking wild, dude. Wow, that's insane. And what happened to your other boys? They're fine. Well, the one, Jonathan had to run out of his shirt.

They grabbed his shirt and he had been in a car accident. And so it was just a thing of like, oh, we could just fuck these guys up. We're kind of bored. You know what would be good after that game of basketball beating the shit out of these white guys Come on my 14 other friends. That's like just to blow off some steam Damn, dude, you just grew up in a race war in a constant sort of low-grade race war that same thing happened to a family

Friend of mine. He got his ass beaten Patterson Park. I's trying to play like pick up basket. He was like in high school. He's trying to play like he did at least he went up to them and was like, let's play hoops. And they were like, and they just stole his basketball. Yeah. They were like, no, give us the ball. And there's like, it's the same thing. It was like 10 or 15, like, you know, kids in like middle school or whatever. He was like, no, I'm not giving you the ball. He was also like Albanian like very fresh off the boat I remember this kid yeah literally he's like you're kidding I buy the ball you go to store he refused to give him the ball and then yeah they were all just stomping him

within moments and they took the ball at the end they got what they wanted You are picking your shoes dirty! And they took the ball. At the end they got what they wanted.