Stavvy's World - Dan Licata and Joe Pera

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Dan Licata and Joe Pera join the pod to discuss their hometown of Buffalo, whether Guy Code or Jackass had a more adverse effect on a generation of young men, take a deep dive on Zeroville starring James Franco, and much more. Dan, Joe and Stav help callers including a guy who sold his uncle's beloved rare comic book after promising not to, and a guy who made his coworker cry after saying a joke with "Polack" in it.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive, Patreon-only episodes.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. two stobbies were 9.0.4.800. Paul and we'll solve your problems. I'm pumped. I got to my best boys in the stew all the way from some parts of Brooklyn. Some probably fucking hard to get here parts of Brooklyn, right? You guys are probably far away from the story. Nice. I'm in Brownsville. Nice.

Yeah, you're in East New York. Yeah. You're living in Bobby Schmertis old house. I had a tiny home dropped in the middle of Brown's room. Just calling the cops on all the teenagers constantly. That would be a fun, yeah, drop. That would be like a, that would be a new like bear grills thing. Just to put like a, put like a, like a, you know thing. Put this respect alternative comedy fan,

who's like, no, we're cool with everything. Tell them they're doing a Bear Grills style show, but you drop them in a tiny home in East New York, and they have to pretend they're not racist as their parents. You know, they're like, oh no, we're cool with this. We'll work on that. We'll get that going with adult swim anyway. We got Dan Lakata, Joe Parrot in the stew.

Thank you guys so much for coming through man. Thank you. And don't worry, Joe, if you want, we'll bleep out what your neighborhood was so that nobody can to cost you in, you know, I appreciate it. Yeah. It gets weird online. So it's not that weird, but one time I posted a photo of myself

and it had a recognizable business behind me. And people Googled the address and started to put, they posted where the address was. That's so funny. That's so funny that people would like do that to you who's got like the gentlest just like all your shit is like how to tell your grandma you love her with Joe Pera and they're like we're finding Pera.

We're gonna find him. We're hunting him down and we're gonna call him fucking gay in person. Like there's the internet is so shitty that like you're you can have like an awesome cool like just like a Truly one of the most wholesome and good even when you're a cynical piece of shit like me and my brothers We're crushing Joe Perra talks with you episodes. Right. It was there was a it was there during the pandemic and we were in It was what everyone's losing their mind and it was one of our friends birthdays and we were like fuck it We, we're gonna go to Maryland. Like, we were all cooped up in New York. We hadn't seen my brother, our brothers, we hadn't seen each other.

So we're like, you know, it's still when everybody was like worried about COVID. Whereas like, now I was sick and I just forgot you could even have COVID. Like, that's the thing. I took a test, just like, oh, they're coming over. I should just check. Thank you for checking. Of course. I did have it, but I figured it's been three days,

so they said three days are good, right? Yeah. Yeah. Bring some PD-illusory. I got the Monster Energy Vitamin C shot. They should start doing that. The turmeric and Monster Energy shot. They had wellness shot.

Does he make that pre-packing shot? But they said, man, we're coming up with a lot of good ideas so far in this episode. But we, we, so we were like, all right, half of us are Maryland, half of us are cooped up in the same apartment in Queens. So it's like, we'll all test if we're good. We will drive through this remote little cabin in like Maryland. It's one of our friends, birthday. She only wants his crabs. So we're going to like buy a busher. I have that friend. I have that friend.

Definitely we've had friends who smoked crack, but that was not what was on the menu. And so, and we just met there, and it was just one of those things where it was like, me and my bros just got into a foot. We crushed like eight, eight episodes of the show. It was all, hit the spot just right dude. It was because it's actually funny.

Like that's the thing. It's like it is it's a hilarious show. It's really funny. You guys use like that. Your casting is just as good as any other aspect of it. You know, the performance is in the writing. It's like you get such perfect people for that show. There is the we did you know

hate our casting sessions. It's a walkie and you get some real nice guys. Like the one Diner owner Apollo. Yeah, dude, I love Apollo. You kidding me? I saw Apollo. I was like, that's my guy right there. In fact, if you have his information,

I would love to have Apollo on Stoffie's world. We love to fly him out. Perfect. I'm bringing him one and to fly him out. Perfect. And bring him one and have him. Help people. Who was he and he was in some like transformers or something? Right? Yes.

Right. He's got credits. He's got credits. Yeah, they pull him up, fellas. I just want to look at him again. Just smile. He has a great. Yeah.

We actually had this reminds me. We had an idea for a Greek episode. Oh, hell yeah. There's a giant mural at the diner we shot at. Yeah, yeah. And we had one where the waitress at the restaurant just keeps looking at it, because it's a full,

it's fantastic. And of course. And then she kind of like turns or, you know, you know, a digital effect and gets to stand in your chair and she gets substance or painting and freeze. But we got cancer also.

We can make it happen. Bring her here. We'll get her stuck in this mural. Every Greek. Would you play the Swav Greek man? That's how we fall. I would love to. I just, yeah, I'm speaking only in Greek.

All my lines are subtitled But she can understand it because he's in the reality of the mural But as soon as she leaves she can't understand Greek anymore. Yeah, I love that Paul She has to choose to come out and continue working for Paul or stay in the painting And there's gonna be transformers Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that shit. Um, oh, where's yeah, dude? I just want yeah, is this our guy Let's wait sorry Without my glasses. Yeah, yeah, without my glasses. He looks like fucking deen or is even more than he usually does

Anyway, he's pretty I haven't talked to him a little long time. He played Marlon Brand. He played Marlon Brando I haven't talked to him a little long time. He played Marlon Brando. He played Marlon Brando. So. The man's got fucking range, dude. The fucking guy's got range. Anyway, all right, that's enough. That's enough eldest, you motherfucker.

What is that? Fucking have some better producing instincts for Christ's sake. You're not, you're just distracting the guests, pulling up an trailer with who the fuck is that? Is that what's his face? James Franco. James Franco. He's pulling up a James Franco balled with a mustache.

Zeroville. Check out the film Zeroville folks. Who we must have come out just as the allocations against James Franco. He does look the most sex offender in that that I've ever seen him. I just feel like we would have known about zeroville. Yeah. He said that Seth Rogan was in it too. Was he?

I pulled it up, Elvis. I ain't fucking be the shit. Zeroville, a 2019 comedy drama with two stars, it looks like. Are you reading the tag, I'm thinking? Yeah, read the tag, I'm gonna. Sex, cinema, and August 9, 1969. After briefly being suspected of complicity in the Tate-Lobb Young Commerter which occurred the same day, Vickr takes a job at Paramount Studios where he meets

film editor Doddy Lanker. What the fuck is this? That's awesome, dude. Megan Foxes in it. Ooh. So it's a movie with Joe Franco, Megan Fox Seth Rogan, and we've never heard about Dave Franco's in it. It's a family affair.

Craig Robinson is in it. It's from Danny McBride's in there. Danny McBride, what year is this from? 2019. I mean, they, yeah, this is old Horatio Sands, another, another canceled, canceled brother.

Yeah. Damn, dude. Yeah, that's, that's what, that's what I got fired from SNL. I blew the whistle. How did Horatio Sands? You dressed up,

it was like, it was like fucking to catch a predator, you dressed up in a dress, in a little dress, and you DM to Horatio Sands, you're like, hey, to catch a predator, you dressed up in a dress, and a little dress, and you DM to ratio, and you're like, hey, I'm thinking of getting into improv comedy. Do you want to do one? And he's like, yeah, I can teach you all about it.

Why don't you come over? To catch a predator, arguably the greatest prank show ever. Oh, my God. Yeah, I did. Fucking Jamie Kennedy could never. Jamie, Jamie, the Kennedy experiment could never do do what fucking what to catch a predator did. Absolutely. My dad was actually in the focus group for the first season.

His main note was that Chris Hansen reveals himself to early partners. You're not going to be a little more danger. A little more drama. Let them riffle a little more. You got these pedophiles, alright? Let's get our money to where this is. Let's really see the animals in person, not just online, not just through the transcripts, where it's like child pussy-likeer.

Forty, is it like, do you like family guy? through the transcripts where it's like child pussy-like or 40. It's like, do you like family guy? How about sucking a grown man's dick? They're like, oh, I was talking to her about some else. That was an inside joke that we had. The metaphor. This guy, I love, because it's like, they're clearly stupid. Like, oh, anyway, what a show, truly. Yeah, this guy I love because it's like they're clearly stupid it like oh anyway

What a show truly I would rank you you got to put that up there then it's I guess Maury I don't know if that counts as a prank show but when they reveal Someone is or is not the father that's always great man They got a if they made a drug that made you feel like you just got told you are not They got to, if they made a drug that made you feel like you just got told you are not a father. I would be addicted to that. That's gotta feel so, it does have to feel so sick. Oh my God.

And the odds are so stacked against you. You're probably like, I did, because those guys know they nutted inside a woman. So they know there, they know there, they know they're at least like eligible to be the father. So just when I have that taken off, taken off your shoulders in front of a studio audience must feel incredible.

Yeah, absolutely. I do feel bad for the girls that are just like, first of all, imagine how your life has to be where like how bad shit has to be going for you. Where it's like, you're not sure which of 12 guys is the one that is the father. You couldn't narrow it down to smaller than 12. Your life's not going good to begin with. And then to be humiliated, and it's just,

that's a tough one. It is funny when they finally find one after like nine. And it's not even really a celebration. It's just like, all right, okay. I mean, I think you kind of, I mean, if you do like have repeated appearances, at least you're getting that sag, they look like moths. They probably, I don't know, they're not. I don't know much of union production. No, they got to join sag. You get nutted in by so many strangers to get your sag card. That's one way of it for any aspiring actresses out there Then's got a way you can earn

A lot it's a lot like the James Franco acting Dude I used to crush morey Dude I used to crush Mory. He directed this. We got a Franco directed this? It says, we get the, we get the, we get the page. We're gonna, we are gonna have to watch this at some point. That's Van Sant was in it. Oh.

Are you kidding? Dude this is awesome. There it is. Has Phil Markov, Guy for career. Wow. Talk about typecast. There's some really good stuff. Yeah, check out, what is it less than zero?

No, that's a zero. Well, just zero. Zero, Bill. Zero, Bill. This must have come out right is the allocation. 100% is a budget, six million box office, 78,000. 78,000. 78,000.

Oh my God, you couldn't even buy a house in Baltimore with the fucking box office budget. You know, it's just a shame that Mino got dragged in. Of course, yeah, because this is a story that we need, that needs to be told. Just stay in on it, otherwise untarnished IMDBB. It is nice that the The degrees that was at the Kevin Bacon game the six degrees of care like the the degrees between you and the movie Zero-fill is one degree you guys are right there I feel like a lot of people win winters

Will Ferrell. Uncredits is Rondell. What? This is a smoothie. I don't know, but there's some good stuff here for sure. Derek Waters. From Draw History. Draw History.

Wow. This is an incredible find. Shout out to Apollo. Real name. What's his real name? Mino Mackie. That's right. Mino. Shout out to Mino. Yeah, good really good stuff here.

Were you guys more ahead? What was your daytime talk show of choices, children? When I got home from school was kind of like a limited date was on there. A limited date. That's a banger. We used to watch, yeah, we used to watch a limited date was on there. A limited date, that's a banger. Yeah, we used to watch a limited date on my laptop. But it's so good. It really hits that early 2000s nostalgia, like the outfits. And there was one episode where this one guy was just like, what do you like to do for fun? And he's like, uh, and those are gonna sound dumb, but sometimes I like to get big sticks and put them in the street

And listen to cars That's awesome because there was a like a an innocence to eliminate before everyone was online or so So aware of their persona You know what I mean? It was like it was like or so aware of their persona. You know what I mean? It was like the first version of people trying to put out some fake version of the story. Can I say something? I'm sorry to interrupt. First episode, September 17th, 2001. 2001?

They didn't even wait a week after I had to start. This one American need track. The dumbest people. The terrorists win. If we don't air a limited date, oh, that's a victory for him. If a limited date is postponed even one week, that is fucking wild.

Oh my god. The first episode of a limited date comes out September 17th, 2001. A mere six days after the towers fell. Wow. That's awesome. Sal fell. Wow, that's awesome. Salute. Yeah, that's a that's something there's something beautiful about a limited date. Just people didn't really know how to act on TV or do know what to do on camera yet.

Yeah, there's like we watched one recently was somebody put almost all of them on YouTube. Awesome. But it is like dating in Chicago in 2004. And I think that this, you know, they're all competing for a beefed up dude with a backwards hat. Of course. And I remember in Chicago, it's so like one Italian woman and a Polish woman start fighting.

And it's like, this, old school race wars. 1910s race wars, 10-amint wars. Who is wild? They like fist fought? No, they just kind of like making fun of each other's ethnicities. Which I can't see. Very sh- Yeah.

That's awesome. No, for sure. There's definitely a thing, you didn't know not to be racist on camera in the 2000s. Because that's what humor was for most people. It was just different types of racism. And so that's what's beautiful about a limit date. And like some of the early reality shows before it got to, like even some like fear factor

was kind of fascinating because some people wanted to win the thing. But some people just wanted to be on camera and they didn't know how to behave on camera at all. Plus you get the bonus of seeing young Joe, just fucking, hi shit, just cash in his paycheck. It's so awesome, just like the weird career Joe Rogan's had, but it's like you get to peek into like that level of Joe Rogan just jacked,

just clearly high out of his mind, people drinking goat cum. I'm just like that. It's, yeah, I do love it, I do love it an early. I guess I was never, I watched some of the room raiders, not just, that one was great because all the cum they would show. Yeah, which their big move was the blue light. And that was kind of like, all right, time to make fun of every guy for how much of Jesus is his

You know bedroom. Yeah, man. That makes that makes me terrified of black lights I'm like I wanted to there was like a There's some venue. I was that recently that had like the black lights and I was like Thank I was like looking down my black jeans being like, please don't let there just be right there stains all over me. Oh yeah. That was good.

That was good for you, man. Thank you. I'm glad you passed it, just check. So you guys watch it, you said you'd watch it on your laptop. Now is that recent or are you talking like in high school? Because you guys go back, you're a couple buffalo boys, they go all the way back. All the way. There was at the apartment we lived in together for a while when we moved to New York. Okay. And do we not have a television at the

time? Or did it not have internet or something? Yeah, we just had a, it was one of those TVs with like the built in DVD player and so yeah, we would have to watch on my laptop. What else do we watch? It was like a lot of a limited date. Those are class. I mean, we talking like the MTV. I was a big honestly. Like I really, really loved the I love the blank series. I was a big, I love

the 80s head. I was a big like, and it's so funny, you have no concept of entertainment at all. I thought anyone who got on that show was so famous. And then you moved in New York, you start doing comedy, you're like, oh, that was one of the shittiest gigs possible, where they pay you like $200 for the day, and you have to riff all day. And it's like, oh, that was one of the shittiest gigs possible where they pay you like $200 for the day and you have to riff all day. And it's like, and then you just see the same, you're like, oh my God, Chuck Nice. He's also doing this Anthony Cumia radio show that I'm about to do. He's also on compound media.

I can't believe it, you know, like, or Ben Bailey from Cash Cab. He's at the stand with me. Like, you're moving and you're like, oh my God, none of this shit. Like, that was the lowest rung of show business was those VH1, like, I love the blank shows. Fucking Hitches. You think about it. You should probably remember them forever in your head. Absolutely.

How sparks? To me, how sparks is a legend. I'm naming my first kid, Hal. Fuck Hal. That's a powerful name. Is that short for anything? It's the computer from what the fuck is Hal? Is it Albert that you just throw an H at the top of Hal? Anything it's the computer from What the fuck is how is it Albert that you just throw an H at the top of Al That's what the fuck it a positive what's your How Harold maybe Harold Harry Henry Harry Harold interesting

Weird famous used by Shakespeare and King Henry the fourth is the name of the King's son Yes, that's weird. That's like Hank being like used for Henry sometimes Hank is a cool one at least How is fucking stupid? I mean no disrespect to house parks Hank is a power as a fucking man's name, dude. Yeah, I would name a son Hank All right, so you guys fucking so we're so wait so you guys also live together when you first moved to New York you were in a little fucking shitty apartment. Hell yeah. Me and eldest two bro. Oh nice. In this apartment actually. We're in this former bedroom right now. Yeah we're in

this one. What else is former bedroom? What would you do with the placement? Yeah. He had to mirror up. I just moved the camera. And this came, he only had one camera to watch himself beat off. But I added the other angles. All the memories are still swirling every part of it. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's what charged me up. We should get a black light for this. Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. Hell, this is Pharamones or Seaped into the wall. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Hell, this is Pheremon's or seeped into the wall. We'd have to deep clean this place. We'd have to take out all the drywall and replace it to get to get it clean. It'll never be able to get that Albanian mist out of here.

You're Albanian? Dude, I learned, OK, this. Yes. I learned this recently, it blew my mind. This should be on the fucking news The daughter from George Lopez show not Blue my fucking wow add her to the Albanian wall of fame. Yeah damn, you know what? That's a George Lopez get the fuck out of here You know it? No, no George Lopez get the fuck out of here. Are you know what? No

Oh, that's Masilla Lucia. Yes Yeah, she's a yeah, Lucia is very Albanian. Yeah, wait you lose the daughter in the George Lopez show. Yeah, she looks fucking Albania's look Damn Albanian born American actress. She was in the George Lopez show. I don't even remember hers in that show. Albania is up next, dude Dude, no, it's not don't even fucking pretend it is find her on the George Lopez show. Come on, man You're fucking blown in as a producer right now. You're getting her fucking Albanian headshot right now. Her shit has died blonde Oh wow They really put that bitch in brown face They're like hit the tanning bed.

What the fuck? Oh my God. You're gonna have to add some of this fucking to the YouTube and folks, listening audio at home. Look up, Macella, Lucia, George Lopez show. Mocella. Mocella. Okay, I'm probably beat off to Mocella for being honest with ourselves. George Lopez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. La, La, La, La. This, okay, I'm probably beat off to La, La,

for being honest with ourselves. George Lopez was another one of those, because I didn't have, when we were talking after school, you know, we didn't get room rate, we didn't get that shit till pretty later. So everything at first, and when we did have it, I didn't have it in my room, my family had two, there was two satellite boxes,

one for grandma's room, one for our parents. So we didn't get cable, the kids didn't have it in my room. My family had two, there was two satellite boxes. One for grandma's room, one for our parents. So we didn't get cable, the kids didn't get cable, we had to make do with, you know, so we're talking a lot of like, that's why Mori was big, that's why Ricky, I was a big Ricky Lake head, you know, big Santa Ricky Lake. Jerry, of course. We're gonna put it on at that time.

It's like, they almost wanted kids. To watch, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder how many 12-year-olds watched Ricky Lake regularly? Dude, so many. I do remember watching some television like they had to be like wondering if that's how adults acted.

Not like right, right. With some of the MTV shows. Right, right, right. Like with the talking heads and when they were explaining things, you kind of as a a 10 year old, you don't know anything. So you kind of take it, oh, that's how people are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like you said, you realized that like when our friends started getting cast on those MTV talking heads, you were like, holy crap. These are the people I was.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, no. Hedgehogs like holy crap. These are the people I was Oh, no, these fucking yeah just complete degenerates Absolutely, there's some golden hearts golden hearts, but fucking dumb asses Everyone that I know who's yeah, cuz you think about I mean the one I will say was kind of funny if you look at it, is that if you look at like guy code hilariously, a lot of people on guy code got fucking famous. And that's the one that kind of sprung stars, and that was the stupidest one. And that was like the dumbest one. Like Andrew Schultz, can you say that? Schultz, De Stefano, dude, Charlemagne, he was on fucking guy code.

I mean, I know he was on the radio and shit, but he was like, his profile wasn't that big, and it's like, even like, a lot, just a lot of people went from fucking, well, was there with Shultz and this stuff? No, they were just like comics at the time, but they're there. Just stand up comics. Like, a lot of people, for a while,

I mean, some of these people have faded, but it's like, who the fuck was on Jesse May Poloso? Just like, a lot of people had that fucking, like, that was the credit for like five years. You got to just be a headline in comic if you were on fucking guy code. For some reason that shit, that was in the side guys, baby. Yeah, and it was all shit.

Like if your girl step on your shoes, she sleeps on the air mattress tonight. Yeah, it was none of it was actually, like at least the I love the whatever things, it's like they were just joking about like, you know, fucking, yeah, for real, for real, for real. Yeah, for real, for real.

Yeah, for real, for real. Yeah, for real, for real, for real. Yeah, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real,

for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, for real, I shouldn't, that's what I was like. It was like, it was fucking awesome, dude. And then that became, and then that was like, oh yeah, this is awesome. Everyone needs to be looking at this and listening to this. Great, it's like, how is it, how did they get chosen to decide how many weeks you have to wait

after sleeping with you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, yeah. I wanna hear this physical therapy school dropout tell me when I'm allowed to fuck my best friends girl. Parents should be the only ones. Yeah, that's exactly. I think we should, I think that's a state's rights issue. Each state should decide after how many weeks you're allowed to get pussy from your best friends ex-girlfriend.

Yeah, I wish all comedians should wear Letterman's jackets and have two study Dude I would love if they reboot guy code I would love to be on it You have no idea how much I would love to be fucking on there, dude I would love to be fucking on there, dude. We just say that this is an episode. This is an episode of Guy Code. Guy Code, we'll get to the questions. There'll be some guy code style questions, I'm sure. How great would it be if?

Yeah, I feel like Tim Allen could have a second act if they just got him to be a talking head. Oh, dude, you're so right. Like I feel like he's gone pretty far off the beaten path. Absolutely. If you want to get him back, just get him. Well, that's the thing. I think like, conservatives are trying to do like their own,

they're trying to just make their own comedy apparatus and it's never gonna work. Even there are, there are a few people, like I usually think there's no funny Republicans and I've met a couple. There actually are some fucking hilarious people that are just conservative, right? That it's not as many

But it's like but then even those guys you put like you look at the show gut felt you'd be shocked to find out there are Dude I'll throw gut filled on everyone's well because it's so good It's like so horrible that you're like what where was the joke? Where it's like like because I'm an immun know, we're on the road a time, you're just on, you're in a hotel, so it's like, when Diner's driving and dives is on commercial, be like, let's see what Greg's up to. And he'll just, he'll say a joke,

and no one registers it as a joke. But it feels like, uh, who woke, uh, the trans, people like, ha ha ha ha ha. They just hear like, like, those audiences don't even, it's so funny because one of the worst parts of alternative comedy is, and rightfully so people will be like, it's just people agreeing with themselves,

where it's like, you know, you've seen it, where it's like somebody will just say something, and clap to it, right? Where people are just like, hi yeah, we agree, and it's like, agreeing, of course we agree, that's not the point of this. But, there's still obviously really good, you know, we've all been's like, of course we agree. That's not the point of this. But, there's still obviously really good,

you know, we've all been on a ton of all shows where you're like, all right, that was bullshit. You know what I mean? But then there's tons of funny people in those, right? But the Republican comedy has actually become even more claptor than the most shittiest all show I've ever been on, right? Like, they just wanna hear gay people are dangerous.

They just wanna hear the end just, and the laugh is just something they agree with. So they're going about it the wrong way. They're never gonna make their own show. What they should do is just slowly sneak in a couple to Mallons, a couple gut felt in a guy code where it's an inherently misogynistic structure. They would crush on there.

They need to be, they need to trojan horse. And we're not trying to make Greg Godfeld more successful here. But if you wanted to be, but Tim Allen, that's how he needs to go about it. Because if Tim Allen popped up on a fucking, on an MTV show or like a talking edge show and telling you about like how to control your bitch,

that would be fucking awesome dude. Like all these old Republicans, that would be fucking hilarious. Tim Allen or the fucking leather jacket. Like, you know, he made that sitcom or whatever. You see that? Last month. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's awesome.

Another one that Jay Leno played like a minor character on the show. Oh, was he? Well, if you act in gigs, when I had, which I think, I don't know how bad, I mean, I haven't seen any photos of him post. I mean, he got lit on fire and then immediately after got into a motorcycle crash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what he's looking like these days. I bet he looks awesome, dude. Yeah, big scar down the middle of his fucking head. No, that'd be sexy, J. Yeah, big scar down the middle of his fucking head. That would be sexy, Jay Leno. That would be badass. Yeah, it would be badass if he came out of it looking better. Just, this big blow is jaw off.

Yeah. He's got like a normal head. Yeah. That would be wild. That would be really cool, actually. He was like, there's like a big comeback episode of his car show. Yeah. He's like the Phantom of the Office.

He's got the mask on. He's like a little mystery. Yeah, that would be fun. He's got the cape. At the end, to the camera, he takes off the mask and he's a little look at it. Yeah. That would be awesome.

A Phantom of... That's a reboot we could get going. There's a Phantom of the opera reboot where Jay Leno, and instead of the operas, the car show. And it's like, and it's like. And it's like, And it's like, And it's like, what is it, Jay?

No, it's somebody else. I don't know how we put it together, but we can figure it. I always thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love its sweet, its delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here. You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely.

That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off. I'd be like, this actually, one time I have to admit, I was like, want to come back with some fruit salad. And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird. You asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk. I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziek.

Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point, because I was eating the mango, and oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards, and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know? I was like, now that would be something else.

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So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by

that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Where is for he seems to I think he was doing stand up shortly after. Oh, really? Yeah. So he's kind of you can't get. You can't get him a way you're from. Yeah, I can get him crazy for that. The boy loves, he loves the stage and he loves making money. Jay is a pure capitalist when it comes down to it.

Somebody told me, I don't know for sure, but I think there's, wife does a lot of fundraiser for like, like social causes. Oh no. And she's like a feminist and stuff. So he's making all this money and maybe then she's given so maybe in the last few days. He's given the money. I don't know the full story. Yeah. Making Keister knows a lot. Okay. Okay. Keister is a big. Yeah. What's Jay Leno's wife's

name? Something like a woman with the last name Leno sounds hilarious. Debra Leno, Jane Leno, Lisa Leno. Lisa Leno, that's pretty good. Yeah. That's fine. You did this. Is that, oh wow. You've been doing a lot of Googling this episode. Hell, this is a philanthropist.

There we go. Maybe he's raising money so she can give it to good causes. Maybe. Which is the change. She was the glamour woman of the year. That was one of her awards. Good for her. What? Yeah, that's what her Wikipedia said.

Oh, good for her. Oh, wow. Yeah. All right. Enough Googling, at least your mother fucker. This mother fucker's never Googled more than two things. And episode now, every time he's fucking. So you're gonna pitch the reboot of guy called starring Tim Allen.

I go starring Tim Allen. Yeah, yeah. And then Jay, the Phantom of Jay Leno's garage. And then Jay Leno's garage. And then also the bear, the, like a bear grill style show, where you put it like in this house, we believe in science,

style, white person. You drop them in Brown'sville in a tiny house. If you can go, if you can go, style white person, you drop them in Brownsville in a tiny house. If you can go, if you can go, if you can go 72 hours without getting a Marvin the Martian spray pin on the side of the tiny room, it's 10 great. Yeah, we got a lot of good ideas. If you're, you said drop, it'd be fun if they also at the beginning of the show, they picked up the tiny house with them in it.

Yes. The helicopter. No literal drop it in, I love that. Yeah. That would probably be the most expensive part of the show, but it would be worth it. It would be worth it to do. They got to be, they're strapped in.

They're like a vampire. One of the walls. We're returning for more of the early Apollo missions. Yes, yes, yes. So, yeah. the walls. You know we're returning for more of the early Apollo missions. Yeah. So yeah. Perseucing you into Brownsville. Yeah. I'm getting shot.

Instead of the capsule at the top of the the the the the Saturn 5 rocket is a tiny house. All the way from the upper atmosphere. That's awesome. Parachute. Yeah, it costs $40 million to make this show, but for that one shot, it would be worth it. We'd need the same cameras they used for Top Gun 2.

Then we're in the fucking strat. We'd have Tom Cruise film flying the plane as well. Come on. You know those like Fan Dango or like the movie theater live concerts people would come out to the movie theaters to see a Tiny house Austin to upper atmosphere. I agree I Fully I would go I would be there no problem and then and then when like the spectacles over they have to just go they have to like Actually live in this neighborhood. Then the fun begins.

It's like spectacle and then it's like, all right, here we go. Let's start your life. Start your life. Go. It's interesting. For them going to another planet. Oh, they think it's a different planet.

Yeah, we can tell them it's a different planet. Lot of good ideas here, guys. And they believe it, too. We have a lot of, we've honestly honestly we're crushing the fucking development this episode I want to talk more a little bit about when you guys were fucking cuz we you know We've had some of Buffalo's finest on here already. We had Josh Potter on here. Josh fucking good guy was on I love that he was on he was tell what was what was that radio show? He was on Reagan and snared and rigged love that he was on. He was tell what was what was that radio show he was on Reagan and sneers. Fred and Reagan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One oh three point three. Yeah. So you guys know

all about that shit. The edge was the radio station. It's like, you know, my sister always want to listen to Kiss 98.5. She wanted to hear, you know, backstreet boys, spice girls wherever. But you know, if I wanted to hear some corn or popper oats, you put one of three point three in there. So, it would be diplomatic, my mama play it's 98.5 for a little bit, then switch it to one of three point three. One of three point three for the boys. Yeah.

Yeah, hell yeah. So you guys both grew up in Buffalo, your whole lives as children. Yeah. Love that, dude. I love Buffalo. I love a fat city. You must have had some fat relatives over. Love that, dude. I love Buffalo. I love a fat city. You must have some fat relatives over there.

Oh, yeah. That's a good city to eat. Oh, yeah. I think because the long withers, it's does, I think, compared to other cities in size, especially if they haven't traveled around on tour now. Like, the food is really good. Oh, yeah, dude.

For, I think for any city but for especially for city the size of the best above it's great food scene. Yeah absolutely. I feel like the buffalo pizza does not enter the conversation ever but it's okay it's pretty fucking good. It's ubiquitous. You guys got it everywhere. They give you pizza like it's fucking like water in Buffalo. Like every place has pizza at the front desk. That's fucking crazy. There's this one night we were there for my grandpa's birth. That was like, it was like a big event,

but it was like, it was super crowded and there was like a kind of a bit of a weight. And this other family that was like waiting in the waiting area had ordered some calamari to like tide themself over in the- In the ben Yeah, they ordered calamari to the fucking waiting area. So that seems like a buffalo thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems very buffalo. So then this other guy, he like walks into the restaurant and he's like not with them at all and he just very confidently went over to their table, picked up some calamari and ate it. And they were like, excuse me, that's our calamari.

And he goes, oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was calamari for every box. Yes. When has there ever been calamari for every box? Like the restaurant's putting it out. Like the restaurant's putting out like minutes. Yeah. I respect.

I love that guy. Yeah. So wait, how did you, so when did you guys meet if you got, you both grew up in Buffalo? I think, I think it was, my, my memory is Nick Johnson's birthday party. Laser Tron. Oh, laser Tron. Laser Tron was the best. It is laser tag, but it was better.

Okay. Because, yeah, they... That's some kind of proprietary technology. It was good. They ended up really nice smoke machines. How many times? That's right. It was a memorable thing.

Fuck yeah. So this is what middle school, high school, when we're talking middle. Middle, probably. Or... Elements are in middle. Yeah. Damn. Shit, when we go laser tagging for the first time elders

Somebody at a each point. All they had that laser tag, but I don't recall ever going. I don't know if I maybe you never went Maybe they did like once. No me and Pete definitely went before yeah, I got in trouble once that laser trying for I got in trouble once that laser trauma free Taking my shorts off and running around my Why were you doing that a competitive advantage? I just thought it was funny That was wrong but it's dangerous Did you inferred? Yeah, this laser to capitating to capitating all your sperm. There's just little tails. This is a surgery grade laser.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what made the laser drawn different. Yeah, this is what it is. Those are the lasers they used to do with lacic eye surgery. Don't look directly in the gun, kids. There was one time though. We went for some kids birthday party and we were all on one

team and then the other team was all these like military veterans that were like part of like a national lizard agglig that took it so fucking seriously and they just screamed and said it was like not fun. That's fucking brutal dude. It's like all right man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry the VA won't give you your benefits. Can I just have a nice afternoon with my 12-year-old friends? You fucking assholes?

Oh, that's brutal. That's hilarious, though. I love that shit. A little laser tag. And then you guys were boy since then guys were boy since then or how does the, how does the, how do you, how does the relationship develop? You ever do any like, were you, were you doing any kind of weird like VHS comedy when you were like together?

Like how early were you guys doing collaborating on shit? Yeah, we were writing jokes in high school. Not so awesome. Not performing them really to later. That's for me, but Josh Potter, now we have started performing about a fall a little bit. Love Josh. Yeah.

A lot of good guys. Matt Wayne's from there too. Yeah, Matt Wayne too. Matt Wayne's hilarious. You felt really bad. I told him the story of what happened. Well, what happened? So this is the first open mic I ever did I think.

I was like 18 years old or something. I had a bunch of like Terry Shive-O-Jill, especially on later girls. It was like, it was not good, it didn't really. But we went to this place, Nietzsche's. Oh, I know Nietzsche's. I did the first time I did headline. I did shows at Nietzsche's.

It was nice, damn. Fun, no, they were good set up for comedy. Yeah. So we signed up for comedy. Yeah. So like we signed up for the open mic there and you know, I was on the list. And I think I was, there was like, I don't know, 25 people on the list. I was supposed to be number eight,

but she like skipped over me and she's like, oh, I'm sorry I skipped over you. I'm gonna have to put you dead last now. Right, right. Oh yeah, that makes the most sense. Definitely. I don't just see. She didn't know you. Yeah, gonna have to put you dead last now. Right, right. Oh yeah, that makes the most sense. Definitely. I don't just see. She didn't know you.

Yeah, she didn't know me. So Matt Wayne was supposed to be last and he was kind of running the light. And he had the right. He was one of the better comedians there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the big swing and dick at Nietzsche's. Absolutely. Yeah.

Pop dog at Nietzsche's. You know, disrespect them by giving them the light. And he's like, why are you giving me the light? I'm supposed to be the last comic and she's like, there's one more guy and he was like, who? Who is he? And then I... Damn, that's hilarious.

You're feeling himself in Nietzsche's? Yeah. And then I went up and I was like, here's my impression of Terry Shival at the GFRIEND and just like, I'm being like... No, is it? It was actually a little more nuanced. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

It was actually... But no, I just hated so hard in the... Do you remember one of those jokes? I don't remember the punchline or something. Something about Appleauce because like Remember they used to have applesauce at TGI for either Strawberry Who's like strawberry applesauce and just one day out of nowhere they stop?

My dad was not what a shame That was not what a shame, dude. Yeah, but Matt feels bad. I told him that he didn't really remember I don't blame him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he increased the pressure on dance first. Of course. That was your first mic ever Yeah, first mic It doesn't you know think about it. It's just very funny that that was your first Very fun. It's better though to have a funny story about it than not, you know totally Yeah, men are not don't love those people. Wait, didn't you also tell me, Dad, didn't you also tell me that you did, you were trying to do some jackass shit?

Oh, you know, I don't mean that. I forget the story, but you did, because you guys must have done some goofy shit. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Joe was not there for this, but like, I got a video camera for my 15th birthday so I was like, all right, I'm just start putting together the stunt reel. Because jagass is hot. It was hot.

Hot as shit. We're the same age. And that was like, when we're 15, 14, dude, you're like, there's nothing funnier than jagass. And you're like, I want to be on jagass. It was the best. And like, I would bring it to school sometimes and film myself doing stuff.

Like I went down the stairs and a sled. And like, you know, I'd get a tray of food and the cafeteria and trip and throw it everywhere. Yeah, yeah, classic. But I was like, I really, I'm not gonna get on and fucking MTV too with this. It was kind of weird. So I like went to my buddy's house one day with my camera

and he lived next door to a church and I was like, all right dude, I'm gonna take this, I'm gonna take this umbrella, I'm gonna like climb to the top of the church which is like two stories. Do you try and marry Poppins? Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna try and marry Poppins and he was like, all right, press the red button, I was like, yep, so like I scaled this church and it's like 25 feet high I just like ran to the edge and jumped off and it took probably like a second for me to fall like 25 feet outside

Oh boy I had the remote from click I would hit rewind I hit the ground and it's like, oh my god. Truly the sound was the most, well, not the most terrifying, but it sounded like like an oak tree going through a wood chipper or something.

I heard bones crumble in that. I looked down at my legs, they looked like two rubber snakes. So it was just crying. I was like, is she boning shit? I saw a little bone popping out. like two rubber snakes. So he just brought it to the side. Could she bone and shit? Oh, that's all it will. Popping out.

So how bad did you fuck yourself up? Well, you were broken. Both legs? Yeah, fuck the legs. What? That was so. That's good footage though, man. It's good footage.

Yeah. I didn't get the tape back though. The cops, so the cops took the tape Because I was trespassing Wow, dude, and this is most a cab I've ever felt my life seriously, so we you've never seen the footage. I've never seen the footage Man, it's it's gnarly. It must be but come on. I know you wouldn't want to see it I mean it it would. Damn, dude.

Yeah, it would, I still have like dreams occasionally where I'm like, falling, like, that feeling of just, that feeling of falling, it's like, I mean, it's like a roller coaster, but more, more untethered, I can't believe it. Of course, man. Anyone you know your legs are about to get fucking broken. I'm so relieved.

I briefly was considering landing headfirst. We're trying to roll. I don't fucking know. I was going to say, oh, fuck, I didn't think about how I was going to land. Apparently I did it the right way. They were like, the umbrella actually kept your spine straight, which perfected it. Whoa, really? Like, permanent spine and cornex.

So that was an, oh, damn dude, that's wild. Yeah. So that was the, it's the layers of thing you broke both your legs and that was the best case scenario. Yeah, it truly was. No pins or screws, nothing. Wow, holy fuck.

Damn, you never did no shit like that, did you Joe? No, no, no. I thought Dan was doing some funny prankster school that I was laughing at hard at. Maybe helping brainstorm for it, but not that. Yeah. It makes me think like, I wonder, what do you think was more harmful to young men's psyche?

Jackass or a guy? I think the latter. Ultimately guy code. More breakups fight with women. Bad ideas about dating. Jackass did some broken bones, but couple broken bones. Yes, respectful within his relationships I think that Jackass might have been better for sure and they're if faucet a real sense of actual

Like brotherhood and community like Jackass is fuck those guys are I mean Steve Oh, he's out there. He's taking bam on the road now to like help him get cleaned up I mean, Steve O, he's out there, he's taking BAM on the road now to help him get cleaned up. Because BAM fucking hit rock-ass mother fucking bottom. Oh, of course, they're not all about made it out of jackass, okay. But that is true, I suppose. I guess, you know what it is? I think ultimately, jackass and it's close. Because if you take out the outliers, it's jackass.

But the outliers got fucked up real bad on jackass. You know, it's like, it's like, either you're doing okay. But you still are pretty, you know, you're still pretty like hurt, injured, or you fucking, you know, exploded in a Ferrari. And those are kinda your, those are kinda, and I guess we have to take, if we take the cast out of it, and we just think about who the actual like audiences for it, Jackass probably led to a couple broken bones here and there, but probably fine.

You're still, you're, you're inflicting damage on yourself. Now the person here is the problem. It's not,'s not the real issue here is that it's not an either or situation and that plenty got the worst of both. You got a lot of fucking dumbasses. Then probably have some domestic abuse charges that also tried to put a firecracker up their ass at their sister's kissing era while everybody was watching. You probably got a little unfortunate. You probably got a little bit of both going on there,

but I would say I prefer Jackass by a mod. As an art, that's not even a question. Jackass is incredible. Every movie is incredible. And of all the reboot, like bring back this thing from your youth type of shit, the latest Jackass is one of the best, one of those things. Adam Sandler's special is probably the, incredible, one of the best, one of those things. Adam Sandler's special is probably the,

incredible, one of the best, one of those two. But everything, I've liked the nostalgia boom, but everything else is, like a guy, a guy called nostalgia thing would be hilarious. Just to see them bring that shit back now, which we are doing with Tim Allen. We're doing that. I appreciate that.

I wonder, because like they talked about about the young people's getting their brains melted on TikTok. There's a lot of garbage out there on regular television with growing people overseeing it and then you're only pushing it on. Be like, this is okay. Yes. I don't know. Yeah. Well, look, instead of thinking about. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. Well look, how about we instead of thinking about this theoretically, why don't we directly go to the youth? Why don't we directly solve some of their problems? This is guy called 2023. This is guy called 2023 with Joe and Dan. Let's fucking get it out. This hit us with a question.

Hey, stop. He never gets it right in the beginning. Let's try the timing. Did that right? Hey, stop. He never did it right in the beginning. I was trying to tie it. Did that right? Hey, stop. I've got a little bit of a conundrum here with my uncle. Your uncle?

A few years ago, my uncle gave me a copy of the comic book that Wolverine first appears in. Incredible Hulk number 180 from 1974. He bought it sometime when he was a kid, yada yada yada whatever. He gave it to me and said, alright bud you can have it for free because I love you as long as you promise not to sell it. Well I sold it. You know I wanted buddy for a strip club, girls, alcohol, what kind of thing. Now I'm only human anyway, what is for a good asshole? Recently my uncle reached out to me and said he'd love for me to come visit He wanted to go through his old comic book collection

Google some of their values, put them up on eBay to sell And he also said he's shown to bring the comic book I gave you Hulk 180, I'd love to see it again to sell and you also said he should be bringing the comic book I gave you all quite a bit i'd love to see it again we can look up what it's worth yada yada yada that be a fun last well obviously i don't have the comic book i broke my promise uh... what do i do do i tell my uncle and break it hard to digest why and bullshit about it

uh... i don't really know this is a completely stupid question no you guys are going to call me ever looking for that of me yet for sure whatever i'm silly that i can get over it i love you bro i love you out of the that's wrong brothers

well i would have fun piece of shit imagine this guy's uncle right doesn't have his own kids clearly most the most needing to, this poor guy will never know what a having his own child is, right? Will not know a fat, probably doesn't, it hasn't known the love of a woman or a man for a while either, right? We're talking old school fucking nerd, not smart enough to keep, and giving the one person he's trying to have some kind of like fatherly connection to, trusting with one of his most sacred objects in this piece of shit, sells it, not for anything good, for booze and like strip clubs, and like, he wasn't like, hey man, I really needed this to get a car to get a job, I wanted to pay

for school, no, I was just getting fucked up and looking at breasts. You're a fucking piece of dog shit. Let's get that out of the way, first and foremost. Do you mind if I do my impression of the phone call he received from his home? Yeah, please. Please, let's do it. You mind scrolling down to the text? I don't even have to come up with it.

Hello, my nephew. I just wanted to say that I'd love for you to come visit. I was hoping to go through my old comic book collection. For all some of the values, put them up on eBay to sell. And hey, we'll see, you should totally bring the comic book. I love to see you again, my nephew. We can look up what is worth, yeah, that'd be a fun laugh Thank you, I hope to hear for you soon

You're loving You're such a piece of shit great job, sir. This guy sucks dude.. I don't know. I mean, yet, you, you, you, there's no redemption here. You're a piece of shit. You broke your neurodivergent uncle's heart, dude. And I think, all right, I think there is maybe a way out of this, but let's hear it. I mean, first of all, just act like you still got it, okay?

Go to the uncle's house. You're gonna have to hire a guy to beat the fuck up You know smash one of your car windows, and then you show up and you're like Uncle of terrible news. I was attacked and yeah,iped the Hulk 180. Also you're gonna have to really sell it. So maybe some bruising on some parts of your body that might be a little uncomfortable. Not only did they still Hulk 180, they did have their way with me A bunch of other it was a bunch of other uncles A gang of uncles oh my stole the book and fucked my ass Yeah, that's your only way out you are I was gonna say you are gonna have to lie about this There's no way around it, but can he lie? I don't know. Like can't, I agree then. He's got, he's got, because

I don't trust your acting abilities. If you, if you were a good liar, I would say just lie to your uncle or if you're a good person, try and get it back, but you don't have any money probably. So I don't know how you would do it. Um, try and buy it back or something. You can't tell them. You, you, you really will literally break his heart. You need to get the shit kicked out of you because you're not a good enough actor. So hire someone to beat the fuck out of you. And, and also play to your uncle's ego, you know, be like, yeah, these guys are really, they were cool guys like you. They were big, powerful, strong guys like you they were big powerful strong guys like you who knew about comic books You and you'd be like I was just about to get I was just about to get a girlfriend who was impressed by this

comic book And then they came over and beat the fuck out of me But make up a story about how you got pussy because of the comic book and he'll feel like a good uncle He'll feel like he did something for you Or you can go one further comic book and you'll feel like a good uncle. You'll feel like he did something for you. Or you can go one further. You got this girl. She knew all about, she liked the comic book so much. She starts yapping to the local tuffs at the comic book store. Word gets out that I got this comic book because I fucked this girl so much and she was talking about me so much.

That's the reason I was robbed of my comic book. And ultimately, Uncle, even though I'm in pain, I love you for getting me this pussy. The beating cancels out. I hope you can forgive me for letting them take it. I fought to, they beat me unconscious. I wouldn't let go, but they just bested me, Uncle, I love you so much. That's your only way out of this. You can't be like, hey, I sold it for some fucking PAPS, the blue ribbon, and to look at some fucking

C-section scars. You can't tell them that, brother. Now, maybe you tell them that, or, okay, now this is maybe another alternate, another option for you. Maybe you tell them it was a Marvel strip club. And all the alcohols were like, you know, like incredible hopes. No, but he's gonna want to go so bad. If you find out this exists, he's gonna want to see it.

Yeah, then you're gonna have to like, you know, rant out a strip of it. Paint a big airbrush of bitch green. Yeah, you're better off. I'm not sure about that. Pain of the airbrush of bitch green. Yeah, you're better off, but yeah. Yeah, here put this group costume on the floor. Yeah, so good luck, buddy. But yeah, you are a piece of shit for this one for sure.

No, I feel like we ought to try to do better than the guy codes. So what do you say? It's a mess up. Say uncle, I did something wrong. I know you get a really big oak tree on your front lawn that creates a whole lot of leaves each fall. This fall, I'll come over every weekend of October. And rake for you. OK, that's good.

We turn negative into a positive. That's why I have to offer. I'm just trying to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to, to not, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to do anti-guide quote. You're trying to not fix this problem with deceit. You're right.

That would be, I'm sorry, maybe I'm, yeah. No, no, it's, that's not the vibe today. No, no, no, no, no, it's that. He needs to hear this. And there's certainly a possibility where you fess up, you're like, I fucked up bad. I used, I did sell it, I broke your, because look, this guy's also maybe not that old, right?

I've done shit like that in your early 20s where you break a promise to some old guy because you just don't feel like it. You know what I mean? I borrowed, I borrowed, I borrowed, I borrowed, okay. I feel horrible about this. I borrowed like a rare book from this guy. I was doing a project on the Greek, um, the military junta in 1967. And I talked to this like old Greek communist who gave me a rare book of his and he was like

He was so happy to talk to me So happy to have like a relationship like a young Greek kid who still cared about this kind of shit And he was like you can use anything you want. I just need this book back And I just never gave him the book back I finished my project and I was like I'm 17. I'm like I'm not like I can't I can't hunt this guy That was like I'll give it back to my gotta play mad and real fast And then it was like I moved I went to college and I was like all I'm not like I can't, I can't hunt this guy. I was like, I'll give it back to him. I got to play Madden real fast. And then it was like, I moved, I went to college. And I was like, all right, the book is there.

And I just like went back home. My parents had like, re, fucked up a bunch of my shit. And my mom was like, oh yeah, I put your stuff in this box. I was like, all right, the book is in that box. I know where it is. And then I like, a year later, I was like, ah, maybe I should give that guy back his shit. And I go to look in the box and my mom claimed it was in.

It just wasn't there. And it was like, if I had just kept it safe, like I claimed I was going to, but I'm a 17, 18 year old kid, whatever. And I feel bad and I still, I just, he owns a restaurant in Baltimore. I will never go to. I hope he doesn't remember me.

Probably doesn't. It feels like a honest mistake, but here's how you make it up to him. You still have Greek citizenship? I do. You run for president of Greece. Ha ha ha. When you win, you give him a shout out in your election. That's awesome. And you say I've never could have done it if this old

Dirt gentlemen didn't lend me his military book Maybe you give him a cabinet position let him be secretary defense of Greece. That's awesome. Yeah, okay. All right renamed the them be Secretary of Defense of Greece. That's awesome. Yeah, all right. Rename the part of that. That's the part of that. Yeah, that's a good idea, dude.

All right, I will do that. So there's always time. There's always time to make it up. And I guess you're right. Thinking about it for me, it's like, I probably could go up to that guy and be like, hey, man, I'm sorry. Can I buy you? This is book exists anywhere.

Can I buy it? Whatever the cost is, I fucked up. So you probably could just be a good guy and be like, hey, I fucked up. And I could see, now this was a regular guy, like the thing is, his uncle, we don't really got to read on him, right? So if your uncle's the kind of guy where you think like he'd accept that and he'd be sad,

but he'd be like, okay, here's how you can make it up to me. Hang out with me for a little bit. Maybe it could be like a nice, that is kind of a nice gesture and you're closer. You know? Just hanging out. And if Donkel doesn't appreciate a little hangout time with the nephew, maybe you're sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's my fear. So like, this uncle doesn't have much in his life. And he gave him like his most cherished possession. And that is, and his nephew just kind of like, he didn't even use it for anything good. He used it to go to strip, anyway. I don't know, I think, I think like, you can't,

I mean, it's Uncle Cor, though, I will say, a deep uncle thing is going to strip clubs and getting fucked up on beer. So, we just don't know enough about the uncle, right? If he's a piece of shit, but then again, an uncle that does that is still kind of, his development is arrested. And he's like, what the fuck my Hulk?

You piece of shit? You fucking cockslogger? Yeah, if you give something like tear nephew, you know, you got to assume this kid was like in his late teens early 20s or something when the uncle gave it to him and it's like, he's a fucking kid. But the uncle's a dumbass too, he doesn't know kids. That's what I mean. It's like, you know The uncle should be like, okay, I'm giving this to him and like, you know There's a very good chance. He's a little idiot. He could that's not how he sees it because he has some race I mean, maybe he's raised because I don't want to I don't want to say that this uncle doesn't get that doesn't have a wife, but

Probably not and it probably is probably going to his son if he does or daughter, right? So he doesn't know about this shit to him. It's like, oh, now he's an adult, we can be like equal, and now he just thinks I'm cool. And so he's gonna get his feelings hurt because he doesn't understand you can't trust dumbass children. I guess, but if you've been an uncle of someone for like two decades, you should know kids are a little idiots. And you should just know people in their 20s are like dumb too. Maybe. And yeah, it know people under 20s are dumb too. Maybe. And yeah, it's like this guy could.

And if that guy's that mature, then go with Joe's way. But if he's not, go with the Lakota Stavros method. And tell him, you got Stavros. Why are there uncles? Why are there uncles? There are uncles. By the way, I keep meaning to plug, but before we get to the calls, so I don't want to wait for the plugs for the very beginning.

Because you have a new podcast out, Joe. Let's tell the people to listen to that. Fucker. What's the pod called? Let them know. And then we'll go back to the questions. It's called Drift and Off with Joe Pere. Drift and Off with Joe Pere. Yeah. It's a sleep podcast. Something something I listen to for 20 minutes before bed, and then smart. G is feeling good at the end, and we got an eight hour version of the first one on YouTube. Oh, yeah, this was our last of the full night, and then, yeah, this month, it's just an April 2nd release of the new one about video games and I love that.

I'll give you the scoop first. We got an interview with Roger Clark who did the voice of Arthur Morgan and Ray. Hell yeah, that's a big get. Yeah, that's a fucking big get. Just neat to talk with him. I like to spend as many hours with him and his character during early pandemic.

Oh, dude. Anybody else. So more. I have heard him talk more than my mother in the last couple of years probably. Yeah, so he didn't do the Arthur voice too much, but he's got this nice full actor voice. Yeah, he's classically trained actor with Irish accents. Oh, it is a nice interview and all right I really stole but we got Baltimore hero Dan Deacon to the school. Big Danny Deakes. So it's really exciting that person. How do you do?

How are they pro second and then there's a few more out already. I love that shit dude. Yeah. Yeah go listen to the pod Dan anything you want these motherfuckers to check out. You could follow me on Twitter Instagram and look out of sucks Some stuff maybe coming in the near future So they tune for that put it in their little manifest I'll wait to share but you're always welcome back if you want to plug it. Thank you. Thank you

Yeah, let's see You don't have to bro. No, but I was just I was the guy's Irish that does the Irish American I think okay, I knew Jersey to think his dad is Irish and he went Back and lived in Ireland for a while. Oh sick. Yeah. So it's really interesting that he's the guy who voiced such a notable Western character. Yeah, iconic Western character. But he's a real, and he didn't just voice this a big thing I learned is they did the motion captures so they get upset kind of when,

because it's like there's a big distinction. He did all the movements and those four years in the motion capture suits. Holy shit. When it's down playing poker and he said, I asked him what one of the tougher parts was and he said that you know, you have to crouch and walk a lot. He said there were like days where he had to like,

crouch and walk, crouch and run, crouch with gun, crouch with this weapon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, crouch with the lasso. So he did all of the acting himself and the Arthur walked with the big arm swing and everything, that's all his walk. What about when he's in the bathtub

and he almost gets his dick rubbed but you don't quite see it. I asked him about that. And he says he doesn't remember doing that scene. Oh yeah, Betty doesn't. But he likes to play that scene when he plays the game because he likes the dialogue between him and the woman. Hell yeah, dude.

Oh yeah. The dialogue. Yeah. That those memories of her, he's got all those little balls on her head. Right, here's Mary's an honorable man. Yeah, but look, whatever it takes to get into character, I'm putting food on the fucking table, honey. If I had to get jacked off on the bathtub, I had to get jacked off on the bathtub.

That would be me if I was him. I'm not accusing the man of anything. The composer Ryan Dan who did the music for my show and the music for the podcast, we were talking about that. And he was like, it's kind of like a suggestive scene because they don't actually do anything. Even though there's the woman with notable cleavage who comes in the bath and scrubs you. Scrubs you nice. But he says there's something almost better about kind of like that tension and then coming out of the bath completely clean.

Right, right, right. Clean and clean and still. Yeah, I don't agree with that. There's something about the tension and then bust thing that's awesome. There's a point of tension. I was like, just going up on the roller coaster and then you get to the top and it's like,

all right, take the stairs down. No, I wanna take the fucking roller coaster down. I wanna bust. I don't wanna fucking, okay folks, the roller coaster's done. Not yet. I've been, I gotta do the loop, the loop. I'm gonna do this.

This is the new thing I've been doing to get better at skateboarding is you know, I'll look at porn for 10 minutes Not touch not touch it at all and then go outside and try to land kickflips Definitely is That's awesome, dude. You're still not landing tricks, but your twice is horny with it. Yeah. You're getting hurt.

You're just dig so hard in some basketball shorts. You're in a park with children on like monkey bars. Like get this guy out of here. Why is this dig so hard? And why can't even Ali? Maybe like an experienced skateboarder comes over watching you like you cannot do this anymore Going way too hard. That's how I cracked my head over That's how Tony Hawk did the 720 or whatever the fuck he did that that could be that could

Make sure you're not too horny while skateboarding real try tricks you're not capable of man. You're not bill for this man. Your dick is too hard it's playing tricks on you. Alright hit us with another question big LD. Hey Stoffress who's fan of the podcast never did you do. Okay so here's my dilemma. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things.

You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. You can do a lot of things. I see every time we have, you know, not our fighting days where we're not mad at each other and stuff, and we're doing all of that stuff and stuff, but like, it's not as good as when we fight, right? So just wondering, you know, what can I do, I guess, to make the sex better when we're

not mad at each other? So nice. Hmm, caller a dumb bitch. Provoker. That'll have no consequences. This is a problem. I don't know. You know, this is like a, because there is definitely,

there is definitely, you see couples, I have known couples where I'm like, this bitch is so annoying. And this guy is just biting his time, and I'm like, I know what's about to happen. They're gonna get home. This is their thing.

It's tough when you grow up and you're like, like a weird couple, but you're like, that lady's such a bitch and her husband is like, this stoic doesn't care about anything. And you grow up and you're like, oh, they're getting home. He is plowing that bitch wild. Like that's their whole thing.

And I've been in relationships where it's like, you know, sometimes, or I've dated girls where it's like, that's kind of their vibe where they're like being kind of annoying and they know that they're getting you upset. And it's like, and then that plays into it. But in my experience, that shit doesn't last. There's something that's like,

if you do it too much, it doesn't last. And you can't, now this guy's Pavlov dog himself into only wanting to fuck good when he's mad at his girlfriend. And that I think is the issue. Can you create this, you know, can you create this like artificially without being mad? Is I think what he's getting at? Yeah. I mean, if there's some way to do some type of role play where she's Aaron Brockovich, I actually don't know the story. And your idea is mad at a man. Aaron Brockovich and you're the CEO of the chemical corporation that's poisoning the

thing or whatever she's suing about. You're mad at each other. You have to be mad at each other. Can you just be mad at each other? Corporation that's poisoning the thing or whatever she's suing about Do you have to be mad at each other? Can you just be mad? Yeah videos of police officers doing traffic stops planning drugs on people Just get mad and right. Oh, that's true But it seems like it from what he's saying they have to be mad at each other. Well, that's a good point. But why didn't he enroll his girlfriend into the police academy? And now, and all these cops,

you do all these atrocities, you take it out on your girlfriend's pussy. And that way, that way you guys, in that way, she's kicking in a couple extra dollars to the relationship with her, with a big cop salary. And now you're taking it out on the police in a healthy way And and you guys are better off for it, you know and she gets to be around those cool intellectuals and the police academy

She gets to really grow as a person Sorry, I was in the The other room for this question. I never responded. I never responded. Here's Norris. Here's Norris. Norris. Joe's over here blushing like a grandma. So yeah, buddy, I think that's what I would say. And roll her in the police.

And then fuck the hell out of her because you're mad at all the fucked up shit they're doing. Good luck. Yes, there you go. Yeah, you say, what did you do that worked? Yeah, then she comes home and tells you about her day. What did you do today? You fucking...

A cost to the black teenager who was just trying to buy a cinnamon bun. He was holding a cinnamon bun and you were like, drop the weapon! I will say my, my girl's been trying to do Pocahontas, John Smith, Royal Play, and I have to tell her, I can't do that. You are white and she goes, no, I'm partially... I'm here to Elizabeth Warren, I don't want it. Oh, please. No, I was employed at SNL for a couple of years. Yeah. And the only time I ever, like, kind of lost my cool on someone,

it was like, I had gotten like 10 combined hours of sleep in the next three days. I was like, dead tired. I was trying to take a fucking nap in my office. And all of a sudden, there's this like, frantic knock on the door door I like wake up and I was like yeah, and this intern's like hi I just wanted to see if you wanted to get a selfie with Elizabeth Warren Fuck did we were you there when the big man were you there when Trump was there? No, no, no you hadn't hired yet or what? No, not yet. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I guess because I was that was when he was running. Yeah, that was like 2016

Damn, dude. Yeah, fucking hilarious. Who was the funniest guy that was like the weirdest person that was there when you were there? Uh, I mean Eddie Murphy. Well, I mean that's so Eddie Murphy was like division and then lose, I mean Elizabeth Warren's gonna be hard to top. Well, Eddie Murphy, I think one of the fucking, feed me to a pack of high-pitched clothes. So I pitched him, I pitched him the nutty centipedes. I was gonna be like the human centipede with all the clumps.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. He looked at me like he wanted a fucking kill. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown.

You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown.

You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown.

You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. You look like a clown. just turn it out bullshit show. So the idea that they hired you, there's always like, it's funny to hear that you work there and then like, you hear about like hilarious people that work there and hate one of the kill them. Like David Tell was an SNL for a year. Yeah, he really was. They hired him, Sarah Silverman, like a couple people that it's like, what? And it was like, David Tell,

because David Tell was like the king of New York during one era. And I guess they were just trying to get cool. Like, you know, they'll do that every once in a while. guess they were just trying to get cool. They'll do that every once in a while, they're trying to get somebody cool and then they get there and they're like, oh, it's impossible to do anything that create. You see it with, I think you should leave and how so many people that leave there get to do actually better shit.

Barry's a great example. I mean, even though that motherfucker, he got plenty of shine on SNL, but still, it's just so fun, that's so fucking hilarious. But the idea that they would even put you in a position to get that you would be able to face the face bitch, not he said a beat, that he Murphy is so awesome, if only we could make it happen. They're thinking of a joke dealer day.

It's not true, but we were joking around. Like if they were trying to replace the weekend of the guys with the thousand-pound sisters. That would be awesome. The one who stepped in, it was like, guys, we got, he just, and he's like, all I've turned into quiddit. Yeah, first of all, first of all, I'm a sister, I'm a weekend, and it's not a fat, phobic thing, it's just, weekend update, that's a man's job.

We try to routine a thington or they didn't work okay Now we reach a lot of clear Joe you think that too You're in here first folks Joe pair of men should read the news Even the joke news The fatter they are the better they are the news only fat horse should do the news Joe para you heard him frogs He said it from his lips Maybe lose my cause that you called the thousand pound sisters horrors? Even if I could stand up, you're like, I'm out of here.

I'd cover the camera. That would be awesome, dude. Honorable women. I haven't watched them. I just, I don't know. When the swine got the Discovery Plus app to watch one other piece of junk I'm not gonna say where it was, but it's just her own past and it's just like, wow, what a world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I don't know. Why not let them host the show go? I would love to watch that, that's a great idea. I just don't want Joe's to be out of a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He seems like a priest. I would guess you guys hit it off really well. Well, it is like a brotherhood. He was my brother.

Once a brother, I always a brotherhood. If he ever tried to be replaced, I would march into Lauren's office and be like, look, this we're family, okay? Ohana. That's a Lilo and Stitch. Lauren is a huge Lilo and Stitch. He's got a custom made Stitch CB in his office. That's how he's got like a stitch head to me. Yeah. I don't think you did kids these days. I don't think when they hear stitch, I was

trying to talk about stitch on stage recently. I was saying that like Hunter Biden's got the type of crack that make you go super saying. I wish I could get my hands on that I don't have the type of crack that turns you into stitch, but I think kids here's stitched and they think of TikTok because that's like a Plus did what is shame on the generation now? Yeah, in terms of the surfing islander Disney characters Yeah, yeah evocative of similar vibes Disney characters. Yeah. It's not the same exact place. Yeah. Yeah. Evocative of similar vibes.

Oh, yes. Yeah. Anyway. What are you going to do? Let's do a couple more here. Try one. Try swapping it with Moana. Is there a Moana character that acts very French, like?

Like a chaotic. No. Was your bit? It wasn't even really a bit. It's just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what?

I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what?

I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what?

I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? I'm just like, what? Or if you want to go frantic, you could do the guy from Thorneberry's, the flea played. I was like, that was a bad guy. You know that guy. I think you could do an act out. You think they know who Thorneberry's are? I think if you did the noise and you said flea, you know, the guy, flea voice, if you didn't even say the character, you you just said flee voice them from the wild thorn barriers They didn't act out. I think it could work. Okay, you know, I've just imagined you had a coming close full of zoomers and then comes off He's like my stitch

Working they like no watch this and go into the big bags I also love the year like it is zoom or comedy show. Fuck, let's do a couple more here. If we let get the boys, the boys got to go to a formal affair afterwards. We don't want to keep them too long. Although this is flying by boys. They're so fun. Yo, what up, stop.

I'm just out here walking my dog in beautiful fucking Arkansas. I thought I'd ask you a quick question I'd be wondering about. I have a co-worker. She and I were like kind of like a little buddy buddy. She's like a sort of like a queen to work and we were chatting in the lunchroom. And I made some joke that used the word polo in it and she started crying with the floor Polish people and it was like the K-word for Polish people like that level of emphasis. No, polo is like enough for Canadians.

It doesn't count. Oh wow. I just wanted to know is polo-cassock and then like as a sidebar i've always wondered i love to say mollock uh... alright love you but right that's fucking awesome i mean i don't want to get to white women are out of control but

it started crying because she she's clinging to pollock it's just want to be persecuted so bad. It's like, oh, you're being wrinkled on, relax lady. But certain podcasts we could play her, she would die. If she was sitting there, it would just come bust. Why is this guy just throwing around with Polock? I mean, I mean, true. It is what Joe what, what joke do you feel was necessary

I know, it is true. This is gonna kill at the water cooler. Yeah. I'm gonna pull, I tried to make up one of those ones. It was like, what did the, what did the pull lock get arrested? Why? Um, cause he, uh, it was for the first time, What did the what did the pull out get arrested? Why? Because he

Was filming a sex tape and he thought it was with women, but his friend just put a wig on a dog Anyway, you follow up the Thornberry. You tag that with a Thornberry's reference. You're running your family brother. Oh, God. I mean, okay, yes. Joe, I think you're right. It's like, why are you saying Polock in the lunch room? This is one of those where no one's right.

It's like, yes, is she a dumb bitch, of course. But are you also stupid, yes? Maybe you won't go as far as calling her a dumb bitch, Joe. Maybe, but... No, I will put in... Joe's on the record. This lady's not a dumb bitch. Me, on the other hand, I'm on the record. She is. So, you know, do your own research, folks. And then the consummate centrist is in the middle.

He sees both sides. I'm a centrist. I love both. Hillary and Trump. I wish I could have ordered for both. But yes, you don't. Here's the thing. Any, whatever the situation is, you don't, here's the thing. Any, whatever the situation is, you don't wanna be the guy arguing

that an ethnic nickname is fine to say. You never, you never wanna be the guy being like, oh come on, it's like, you know, it's not that bad. You never wanna be that guy in the workplace. It's not that bad, you're already fucked if you're, cause to be honest, in the workplace, it's about, it's just about the vibe you're throwing out there. And if, if you're making people be like, oh, that's the guy who's throwing polo out there, which again, it's funny. I think old timey white racism is great personally, but then again, I don't have, you work with HR, you know, no one's, no, there's no HR at Stavvy Baby Enterprises.

So, yeah, so it's kind of a wash, and you will be in the wrong, because it's, and I know you're like, come on, I'm an Arkansas, aren't I allowed to be racist here? That's what I would have thought too, pal. But I guess times are changing. That's the one's learning the, yeah. You could have said the, you could have said the N word no problem,

but you start dropping white specific slurs, you're in trouble in Arkansas. What does he mean at the end? What is, I don't know, in Malacca? Yeah, what is that? That's a Greek term, it's jack off. You can say Malacca, it means the actual definition is jerk off, but it's kind of like asshole for us

where it's like just the go to slur, or not slur, but the go to like basic profanity. Got it. My lacca's. So you can say my lacca all you want, but yeah, even though you did nothing wrong in my eyes, I'm a comedian. I mean, there's different standards for the workplace

than what I think. And yes, is this woman out of control in my opinion, yes? But, hey man, you're gonna get reported. You can't go to HR and be like, oh, come on. Stav said I can say Polock. You're fucked. And he crying his hilarious, and she started crying because of this.

Again, don't get me wrong, she's an idiot, but you're also fucking stupid. And you put yourself out there for no reason. Basically, you misread the situation, you thought you were a buddy-buddy enough to be light racist with her. And it's probably a little more offensive than you're leading on. I don't think it's quite conuck level.

It's certainly not K-bomb for Jews. She's out of her mind, but either way, the juice is not worth the squeeze when it comes to saying polo in the lunchroom, in my opinion. Super, for the... I thought it was going to go to like, oh, this was another guy called type question. Yeah, about it, the fucking in the workplace. Yeah, and I was like, nope, he wanted to refer to Polish people that way. And I go, yep, where's Stavis Role? No.

This thing guy called me. Welcome to Stavis Role, brother. This is a good misdirect Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz we do get a lot of am I allowed to try and fuck my co-worker? That's like half the questions. We have a miracle back into racism right back to Stavis world All right, let's do one more. Let's not keep the fellows all fucking day. They got places to be He is with a nice one eldest Hey, pal it's me

Love the pod. I was wondering if you could help me and you some advice. Okay. I've been seeing this guy that I met Dancing at the club last year cool and He's cool. He's got like a big dick and he's French. Nice. He's canceling. But he doesn't have a lot of time for me. And that was cool at first. So anyways, I only have to say, it's been about a year and I told him I wanted to start seeing other people and also keeps saying, hey, this is mostly because I started to develop it and so my boyfriend was like fine with it and then I hooked up with the crush guy from work okay and now I just feel like I don't know. I guess my question is like, should I keep seeing both of these guys? Oh, also the crush guy, like, I don't know. We don't speak the same language. Because he's only a few Spanish. And I always speak a little bit of Spanish.

Please don't use a sword for sparing your stuff. But I don't know. I feel like neither of these guys are going to be my husband, which now I'm like 33, so I'm like, oh no, I need a husband. And so I'm just freaking out. But I just like, I'm getting some D. So my question is kind of like, is it okay to stop to just keep fucking these guys? Oh, just a problem.

Please tell me what you think. Thank you. And thank you for all that you do. Of course. Do you want to take this one? I know. I feel like we know exactly what you're going to say. Well, okay, yeah, I might as well give my answer to set the tone and then we can hear

from our guests. I mean, you're in a great, I don't see the issue here, right? So you're in this relationship with this big dick French guy. He doesn't really give that much as a fuck about you. And some, you know, there's a guy at work you want to fuck even though you can't communicate, which respect, big respect for that move. Fucking, you gotta be like, fucking signal to him like he's a horse, put fucking sugar cubes leading up to your pussy. You can't even tell me you want to fuck. Awesome, that's awesome that you figure that out.

You can't even communicate with this guy. And okay, if both of these guys, you're right, none of these guys are gonna be your husband. You're getting dick down, you know, six ways to Sunday. You're in a nice spot. It's starting to creep in, you know, your 33. I think honestly, I do empathize with this woman. I feel like I'm going to a similar point in my life

where it's like I'm 35 or 34. It's starting to kind of kick in where I'm like, just fucking random people, not that, it's cool, but it's not that cool. And I'm looking for the next thing. She, you, our friend here, she seems to be in the same predicament. So you know it's not going to be either of these guys.

I say, I don't see anything necessarily wrong with fucking these guys for a little bit longer, but if you do want to make the pivot to looking for a husband, or at least looking for something a little more serious, you know, looking, we're serious with somebody who's language you fluently share. You are gonna have to at some point switch your thought processes, and you're gonna want to get away from just getting dick down, and you're gonna want to try and talk to somebody who, and only fuck people that you think that you see some potential. I'm not saying you can only fuck somebody that you want to get married to, but I'm saying you got to only fuck people that you think that you see some potential in.

I'm not saying you can only fuck somebody that you wanna get married to, but I'm saying you gotta start fucking people that, at least you can look at the roadmap for something serious. And that's how you start. And there's gonna be some failure, there's gonna be some false starts. You might retreat to a little, you know,

get a little side, French side dick, just to tide you over if you're going on dates that don't pan out. But this is, you're kind of in a holding pattern and you might be busting a lot and that might be cool but at a certain point you're gonna have to trade in the short-term busts for a long-term situation if you wanna get this to work out.

So that's pretty much how I see it. I don't know, what do you boys think? I mean, sounds like she's just trying to treat her, mostly like a passport of those people. There he is. There he is. I'm a man. I almost made it to Hollywood.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You're rubbing off my feet. Yeah. Stand that bitch Mexico, French, fucking Camarine, if I had to guess. You know, it's a lot of different stamps around town. And there ain't nothing wrong with that. Stamp it up, but at a certain point, you know, you're gonna want to find one stamp.

You're gonna want to put the stamp on a marriage certificate. You're not an image man. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, just, I honestly just want to tell these people, like, yeah, it's not that hard. You could just like, just be fucking normal. You know, like, oh, yeah. Do you want, like, what do you want from us? Just be normal.

It seems to me that it's a great opportunity to learn new language. I mean, everybody in the studio do the Duolingo or learning program. She's got somebody to really, I mean they may not date but she's got someone Practice to Spanish with that's right someone to practice French with Japanese so she could watch anime with no sub-touch Yeah, that would be great. Yeah, so I don't maybe she's as a educational experience right being wild if Maybe she's as a educational experience, right? Right. Meanwhile, if, yeah, it seems to me like she really, maybe is the hope in the French guy get serious with it. It's not gonna happen, that's not gonna happen.

I know, but it seems like she might just be the hope in still. Sure, sure, which everybody hopes that French man will come yeah Wist him away a big dick French guy Yeah, climb as big as dig like a ladder out of like the on the last chopper out of Saigon Yeah, I like that put your using it she's using to put puts like a passport. She needs to start using it like a fucking Premium do a lingo subscription

She's working she's working towards marriage. She learns more languages. That's a impressive They have to pull out on days. Absolutely. She could take a guy and like, hey, how'd you learn all these languages? Don't worry about it She could take a guy. I'm like, hey, how'd you learn all these languages? Don't worry about it. Oh, I was good at school. So you meet a woman who speaks French, even if she had a French lover for a period of time. That's a great point.

And she's, you know, this is kind of neat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably woman. Worldly woman, I'm never taking her to France. Hahaha. She's never going to France. You've heard those stories though about like people who like get traumatic brain injuries and they like come out of the coma

and they like magically speak another language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just do that. Just like, if you want to learn languages, just bash your head against something as hard as you fucking can and just hope that you magically learn a new language. That is a good. Is your real advice?

Well, not having sex with both of them and also bash your head against fucking. I mean, not remembering. High school, I didn't go to Spanish class all semester. And the finals week was coming up up and that's what I did. He batches that into a rock. If only you knew you could have head down to Home Depot, get yourself a boyfriend to teach it to you.

OK, so yeah, I think you're going to be fine. I think you're going to be fine here. You know what it is. You got it. And you're just, Joe's probably right. You're probably a little, you've been waiting around with this French guy. He's not going to figure it out. So decide. At a certain point, I do think you have to make a bit of a, now, my hope is that I just, if I keep being a little slut, somebody cool pop into my life. And

then, you know, I'll just exit the exit the lifestyle that way I don't know that's necessarily gonna happen. I do think I at least have made the decision that once this Tour is wrapped up I basically but I've basically been on the road for two years in a row and it's not it's there's no way to like Have a serious relationship. I don't even see my friends that much, you know It's hard to make a serious relationship work. I've made the decision where it's like look I'm gonna fucking come out of this thing. I'm gonna stay in New York for a couple of months. Even my fault tour is only gonna be like, it's gonna be pretty heavy for September and

October. You're giving a specific date so that it's women who might be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When they try and trap your boy, September, October September October November I'm gonna be out or no actually just October November really and then the rest of the time I'm gonna actually try and living in New York try and be a regular fucking human being going some cute little dinner dates going some get to know some people before you get sucked off by them you know I'm saying and you might need to

try and do similar things here to us that's all I'm saying if you really want to find the husband although you sound cool I have to say some someone's gonna be very lucky it sounds like just from your whole demeanor when I'm in New York again she knows yeah it's just where she she she say where she's at learn to speak Greek yeah yeah yeah you want to learn Greek I don't think she said where she's from anyway um oh yeah absolutely don't I can said where she's from anyway If you're hot girl do not box yourself. Yeah, but don't say it I recognize

I can't wait Listen to this podcast when you fall in love It's gonna get so corny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be like, dude, just, well, you're harming yourself right now. Just giving away your most cherished asset. No, I'll never look at pussy that way, believe me. I even went out in love.

I think we should all get the fuck as much as we want, then we want to lock it down, it'll be nice. But it will be interesting to see how the switch that happens. Because I will become a family man at some point in my life. But I will continue the show, because I think it will just be an interesting change of perspectives, and we'll keep bringing on different types of dirt bag.

Like right now, I like to balance it out with less dirt bag. I do a lot of dirt, although we did have big J on it, it was a double dirt bag to light. It was me and big J on here But I like to balance it out with different perspectives so if I become a family man, we'll get more pieces of shit in here, you know But I just bunch of chubby four-year-olds running in the Pike That would be awesome have my fat sons on here a busy

Hell yeah call on go. L. knuckle held is a bitch. Socrates, Halkus, Aristotle Achilles, Halkus. I'm definitely giving my kids Greek ass names. Yeah, your daughter Demeter after the Greek goddess of agriculture. That's right, brother. Is that good?

Isn't that the good one? There is a beautiful name, brother. No, is that good? Is that the good one? It's a beautiful name, but she went to hell, right? She goes to hell, happy, or does. Either her or Pacific, I don't remember. It's either her or her daughter. I can't, I think it's Pacific. You don't have enough daughters you could name them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's some good ones. The Amitra is a great name, though. Anyway, so yeah, good luck. We believe in you. You're gonna find you're gonna find the husband You just got to decide when to stop fucking you know, just just fucking randomly you it's a mind shift. You got a secret that shit But anyway boys, thank you so much for coming on the podcast was super fun So blacks we could do a couple more hours easy But I appreciate you go listen to the podcast, follow Dan on

socials, all that kind of shit, and thanks for listening guys. We'll talk to you next time. Bye bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place.

It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile.

Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Be your traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.