Stavvy's World - Phil Hanley

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Phil Hanley joins the pod to discuss growing up in Canada, doing way too much acid in his formative years, being dyslexic, worshipping the Grateful Dead, and pivoting to a career in comedy after years working as a fashion model. Phil and Stav help callers including a guy who found out that his girlfriend's dad might be cheating, and a guy who wants to press charges on his ex out of spite.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive Patreon-only episodes.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification get an Airbnb Oh Welcome everybody back to stop these world. We're here. What a beautiful day. We got my boy Phil Hanley. What's up, stop us. I'm stoked. Thanks for thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Everybody, you know the drill by now. Call in if you wanna leave a voicemail. We've got super producer Eldis. Lookin' fuckin' gorgeous today.

Thank you. Thank you. Fresh cut. How many haircuts you'd get in a month now? Well, I just got the one in Costa Rica and then I got this one like over the weekend. That's right, you put a birthday. Beautiful head of hair.

Thank you. Yeah, that's right. Everybody on this podcast has over the weekend. That's right, you've got a birthday. Beautiful head of hair. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, everybody on this podcast has pretty good hair. Now, so that's a haircut, everyone's so fun. Don't fucking do that. Don't you use my own fucking soundboard against me, you fucking prick. Don't forget who you work for.

That's good though. I want you to be a haircut's every fucking, you what I mean. I know it's been so big and like Crazy like the last years. I just want to kind of keep it tight for a little while. Yeah, I'll this yes There you go. That was a tough one for our our pal dyslexic for I have dyslexia and certain names. Yeah, I feel our cruel Feel like your parents would be mean-spirited to me, but El this it's a very traditional Albanian name. It's not traditional It's actually this is what's awesome. It's literally two women's names mashed together really it's his mom and his grandma's name Okay, my mom my grandma's name Ellen this

Yeah, Elmira and Yaldi these y'all these y'all these nuts Take that grandma fucking bitch Rest in peace grandma She's in heaven sucking on my nuts Damn hold on the garage door guys calling this will be good for the pie I can really run with this Hello? Hey, how are you doing my friend?

I'm doing great, I'm doing great Buddy, I cannot make it today can we do first thing tomorrow morning? Yeah, we can do tomorrow morning what time you thinking? Around 9 o'clock? Yeah, we can do 9 perfect Okay, great, I'll see. All right. See you then. I've had a fucking my You're feeling like a fucking

You're fucking prick Albanian independent day When is Albanian Independence Day? It's the it's like The Saturday right after Thanksgiving. Oh god, I don't know why it's that one. What happened? What did you guys do? We don't do shit for it. But what's the, what's the, the lore? Yeah. Who did you get it from?

I really don't know. You're a fucking piece of shit. You don't know shit. Fuck you. I know exactly what happened on Greek Independence Day. We told those Ottoman cock suckers, suck our fucking dicks, we're taking this country back under the banner of God and not Muhammad, maybe this is not the best way to start a YouTube video We keep getting we keep getting demonetized on YouTube and maybe saying

Greek the Greek God is better than what the Muslim one is not correct The Greek the Greek God is better than what the Muslim one is not correct It refers to the Albanian Declaration of Independence on the 28th of November and the raising of the Albanian flag in Vlora by Ismail Quimali. Yeah coinciding with the day in which Skendirbeg raised the same flag in Kruje on November 28th 1443 get the fuck out of here 1400s Those fucking medieval albat like in medieval fucking slabs You don't know who the fuck skin that a bear was dude. You try Greek honestly So you guys mad in kindergarten house. Will you fresh from Albania? He was pretty fresh Yeah, really well. What there must be wild just to arrive in another country

Oh, it was great. I mean, I was like three years old But we were like sponsored by a church in Greece and the church in Baltimore We're like selected in a lottery from Albania really well of like sponsored immigrants to like come here It was really meant to be for him to become a producer on this podcast Yeah, you want to plug the sponsor? meant to be for him to become a producer on this podcast. Yeah, do you want to plug this sponsor? Yeah. What was that church called?

I don't even know. The odds are hilarious if you're getting right here. You're friendly at the win that be in an hour, we were in the same preschool class. We had to hit it off. Yeah. Did you guys hit it off out of the gates? No, no, no, no. His little bitch ass hated me.

First of all, everyone hated you. You were foreign-ish, you were coming through, he was coming through in these thin little power Rangers pajamas you could see his cock. No one wore him power, we were heading to church. We were just like pajamas shorts, and I would just wear those to school. We'd fresh off the books.

Is that part of the sponsorship? You get, did you arrive, and they're like, this is how Americans dress? No, it was just like shopping at Ames and yeah, sort of like this is cute Yeah This is school and we were always bring like fucking piece of shit. Yeah, it's rampage on us I was so a lupha. I don't think I even realized like no, it's hate you had no idea You had no idea. I mean barely knew English. Yeah, that was another thing. This was pure xenophobia Yeah, also in a in a school full of poor foreign kids,

Elders was the poorest and most foreign. Oh, we all kind of shit on him, but you know what? He learned some English. He put on some fucking genius. And then we respected him in kindergarten. I feel bad, like when someone moves through a brand new... Like it's crazy to go to a new school Yeah, I would have to go to new schools because I was in special ed sometimes so like they and that sucked But I can't imagine a whole new country

One where people are more pajamas school. It wasn't that crazy for me because I was so young But I think about like you know your sister. It's crazy. I think I'm think about like you know your sister it's crazy my sister my sister a little bit my parents like they came here when they were like 40 and couldn't speak English at all and that that seems a lot more fucked up that's true that's a three years old and coming here yeah but you're an adult though you know the meme yeah but it's so great you got your kids yeah when all you know is like communist Albania already know didn't know Albanian Albanian was communist. Yeah, they get used to not eating dirt burgers. Really? So the Albanian...

Will your parents very... How do you have parents super patriotic now? No. Okay, no. Recent immigrants do not like America. Is that true? If you came in the 80s or later, it's like, it's like, fuck America. We're here because our country also sucks, but fuck America. That's kind of the feeling. That's kind of the feeling. At least my family.

Like my dad, he came here in the 80s. He's like, if you came in like the 40s and shit like that, everyone's the people were coming at that point, right? And they all like learned English and assimilated. It's just like, especially like a white ethnic group. They were so happy to just become white Americans Whereas if you came later there was almost like a choice to come in here or you were you were brought here by family

Or it was like it wasn't as dire, right? You weren't escaping like a war or something Yeah, you were just moving here because like your cousin you know had a restaurant and you were like fuck it I'll come and you got sucked in is that your dad, is that what inspired you, dad? My parents came here in theory to lead, their plan was we're gonna live in America for a year and save money. And then go back to Greece. And go back to Greece.

Wow. And they've just been here for, at this point, over 40 years. Okay, really say that. They came like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they haven't been doing too good on that saving money part either. My dad was like very liberal in Albania. Yeah, they haven't been doing too good on that shaving money party either My dad was like very liberal in Albania and he was like anti-communist and shit Yeah, and I feel like you know in America like it's just so hard and you know

Capitalism is like so hard. Yeah, he got he got just he and I don't think like he fully like realize just like What it means like I don't know like you know everything is A little more clear or you see the positive parts like in retrospect in Albania. Yeah, yeah It's like well, I mean, there's some pretty bad because they might just like kill you or your family That's a big con yeah if you're caught kissing another man You might get you might get an AK to the back of the head But you are gonna have some bread. Yeah.

You're gonna have a flag looks cool. The flag does, it does piss me off how cool the LB and flag looks. But you know, good branding shit product. That is a badass flag man. Yeah, it's fucking good. The two-headed Phoenix, I call it. Yeah, what do you call it? The double eagle. Two, it's fucking good. The two-headed Phoenix I call it. Yeah. What you call it?

The double eagle. Two-headed eagle, okay. So you've never, you've never come into contact with any other Albanians in your life? Well, I, like I guess. Vancouver, you grew up in Vancouver. I grew up actually in Vancouver, not Ontario, just outside of Toronto.

Oh, okay. I just pictured you as a Vancouver. I started comedy Vancouver and my family as a Vancouver now. So when I go home now, it's Vancouver, but I'm. What's interesting? Yeah, but I started from a, so is in Vancouver now. So when I go home now it's Vancouver But yeah, but I started I from they also moved after you I moved yes They my parents retired quite young and they I moved to I lived in I moved to Europe they moved to Vancouver and then when I came home they were there. Oh, so you said fuck it. Yeah, yeah So and then I started comedy there, okay, so Toronto though, you must have seen tons of Greeks at least.

Yep, my sister growing up her best friend was Greek. There we go. Nice. Yes, so I knew that family. Yeah, diner culture extends there. Yeah, I don't restaurant culture. Yeah, Greeks have restaurants. They were in, they like, the dad, the mom was like a stay-at-home

Mom and the dad was in like He's like a trucker. Is that a great thing? I don't think so Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool But it is a great thing that even though you're a trucker. You're like my wife will not work You know it's got for bitch. Oh, it's a job. Probably back then. Did your mom work? She did when it got, at first it was like, oh, I'm kind of bored. I'll only pick up a couple things here and there.

And then very quickly my father could not run a business. And then it was like, she was a waitress. She didn't work while we were little kids. And then once we got to be like, you know, in middle school, she was like, fuck it. And she started working two jobs. It was kind of thing, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, waitress and she would repair oriental rugs. No way. She's nice with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. If you have a fucked up rug that you need repaired, that's my mom. Yeah.

Okay. I'll get her deets after the... Yeah, give me her number. So no Albanians though, and Toronto are not there. I don't know. My big thing with Albania was there was an episode of cheers where they sang Yeah, that song about Albania. Yeah, and you know this fucking you tried to bond with him.

I was like, oh, Albania. I was like, I'm in. Yeah, there we go. The cheers Albania. Yeah. Coach sings. Oh coach, wasn't he only the one season? Uh, he did.

He did pass. I did pass. No I guess. No, no. Wait, you shout out to Albania. You can learn about anything in this world if you just follow my little trick. Got it? Albania.

Albania. Yeah, Albania. Or should we say Albania? Why'd you say it like that? Or should we say Albania? Why'd you say it like that? We learn our facts by associating countries with music. Wow. Why?

Do you want to study along? No. Can you pause for a second? I'll tell you how effective this method is yeah, it goes Albania Albania border The Baltic ocean is that correct and then he goes you're I remember this from I haven't seen this in years Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is really let's see No, you remember and your greatest export is grain all right. Let's see. Let's see, did he get it right? I'll be the year, I'll be the year,

you border on the Adrian. The Adrian. The bald dick. I'll just agree to me. He's not it. He's fucking stupid. He doesn't know shit. Alright, let's try grain. Okay. Let's see if Phil can go one for two here I

To make up to What the fuck? What the fuck? To make up two different ones. That's what I'm saying. Who would see, is not, that's what. Who would, well, you knew the melody. You knew the melody. Yeah.

And also Adriatic. And, uh oh, Baltic, yeah. No. No, buddy, sorry, it was Adriatic. Chrom, who would think Chrom though? Yeah, you're right. Can you export Chrom? I thought it was like salt or something.

Well, it doesn't matter. And we've talked as way too much about Albania. Way too much. I'm putting my, I'm making an executive decision, no more Albanian talk for the rest of the podcast. This is all, this is going on the way too long, as far as I'm concerned. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

I'm glad that you're setting up. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Vancouver. Oh, it's so Mal, it's so from leaving, going from New York, like those two cities compliment each other. Yeah. But Goddamn, yeah, it was nice.

I love Vancouver, it's a real like, because it's, you know, it's the West Coast of Canada for those, for you in greats that don't know your geography. So it has a little bit of that like Seattle, that kind of Pacific Northwest vibe. But also I love how much Chinese shit you guys got over there.

You got great Chinese food. People that are like fifth generation Chinese, but like just don't have any connection to it. Like it's really interesting to just see, because like when you grow up on the East Coast, and it's like most immigrants have been here like a generation or two, Yeah. They have some connection. Vancouver has like such an old, and like I guess they didn't,

I guess Canada didn't like, you know, treat the Chinese as bad as America did. I don't know. Maybe slightly better, although probably just not that good. These are still probably not good. Whenever I make a statement, if I agree with you or disagree, that's like something that blots people's gone YouTube is like a melee and like I'm like I don't really know. I mean, I thought Albania boarded on Anyways, but either way I like I mean, I'm sure that I'm sure

I could be going off of one The Vancouver is cool that there are are different community and there's a different cult, like my hometown is Aashoa and it was like, no, there was no, my sister's one Greek. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was like it for multicultural, for my experience growing up there. But yeah, no, for sure, yeah, there's a big Asian population. The dumplings are out of control. Great dumplings.

The fucking Beijing duck is out of control. I love it over there. Yeah, and I guess I'm realizing it now. I'm mostly talking about the Chinese food is what I like about Vancouver. The bomber. I don't really know much. Yeah, no, there's this. The forest restaurants. The Stanley Park in the middle of the signal rain forest in the middle of the city. You know what? I've had some great I've had some great sushi as well. Okay, so not just Chinese also Japanese. Have you ever taken a lover in Vancouver? I have yes. Oh nice man. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool Both I think I've hooked up somebody from Vancouver not in Vancouver. Uh-huh

I've also hooked up with someone in Vancouver. Okay from Vancouver both a Plus experiences really that's great I'm trying to think oh you know what and a couple B's that were pretty good too now that I think about it But that was more in the suburbs There's that club that's in the suburbs of Vancouver. Yeah, you know some fun experiences there as well Do you find this I fucked a lot of Vancouver? It sounds like Do you find this I fucked a lot of Vancouver? It sounds like Yeah, we mind of cross-order

That would be great a true honor do you Do you feel there's some city other cities you go back to you always meet someone cool? You always like yeah, well yes, there's definitely cities that I just enjoy the vibe of I mean We're both a city where you're like every time I come here. I meet like a really cool Woman yeah, we have like a really cool woman. Yeah. We have like a great weekend together. Yeah. Are you politely asking if there's certain cities

where I get more pussy? Um, yeah. I was like, do you mean the actual connection thing? I was gonna say, uh, I was gonna say, make love. Make love? Yeah. No, is there, yeah, is there like a city that you go to

where you're like, this is crazy every time I, like, I was riding a hot Boston streak for a while. Oh, shit. I was like dating back to when I opened for Bobby. I was like not headlining. I was featuring. Yeah. Dating back seven years. I was like eight for eight.

When you're opening for someone and you meet someone and you get laid in the city, it is wild. It's the best because it's just not, you know what I mean? You're basically like, you kind of feel like the headliner's butler. Yeah. Yeah. You're the butler.

They're butler. Yeah. So you're the butler. Yeah. And then they like, you know, living this mansion and you're like, you know. But what you find out very quickly is if you strike within a half hour of a show happening,

even the feature is famous for that half hour. You know what I mean? There's like conditional fame. And the earlier you are in comedy, the quicker it is. Like there was one time where I literally, like there's Laf Boston, right? And you know, you've been that club?

I did play it in August, it was great. Great club. It's in the hotel. Yeah. I literally, nice hotel. Nice hotel. Yes. You have your own room.

I met, there's the bar next to the club in the hotel, right? Yeah. There's a little weird Irish bar. The bar is a part of the club. No, it's a part of the like, part, it's like an Irish bar. Okay, okay. Anyway, this is how quickly I had to act

because I knew I'm only famous for like a half hour. So this girl is getting, she's smoking outside, smoke a cigarette with her whatever, go to the bar. Her friend is trying to cock block, but my hotel is literally here. I pitch her, I'm like, you want to go to my hotel real quick? I fucked this girl. Her friends are still getting drinks. Really?

They think she's like, they're waiting in an order. Yeah, they don't know where she went. She might be shitting, they don't know where she went. She might be shitting. They don't know where she is. Yeah. I just fucked her within that within that time frame. And then she went back downstairs to her friends. It's funny if their friends actually saw she was shitting. Yeah.

Like black and Vanessa with this fucking. Lactose and tolerant. We told her not to get the fucking milkshake. Whenever she has again as I But yes, Boston for a while that's what you after the show is this in between shows is that okay? Have you ever got laid in between a show wow that's next level? I've never It's never crossed my mind. I'm thinking about it now I'm even even, it's just maybe cross my mind. I'm thinking about it now, but before that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know anyone who has either of you?

Probably Mark. I've heard, yeah. I have heard tales, not specifically about him, but I have, I'm sure it, I'm sure it happened. Well, here's the thing, we also get, we do comedy in a time where it's really not. Like now it sort of has some weird cultural relevancy, but like for the most of our careers,

stand up sucks and no one gives a fuck about it. And like in the 80s, those guys were getting sucked off left and right. Like I bet you dice was getting this dick sucked. I bet you Eddie Murphy could fuck whoever he wanted, you know, during a raw or whatever. Even like now, even like headliners, I doubt are like, you know, every headliner is like a guy with a family at this point.

Everybody's doing arenas. Yeah. They're not the kind of guy. You know what I mean? There's no young arenas. Doing arenas for the kids. Put some food on the tail of my Elbany and children. Those fucking Power Ranger pajamas They'll lie to themselves. Yeah. But yeah, so anyway, I did snap the Boston streak

because the last time I was there, it was right after I filmed the special and it was more of just me and El just hanging out. Kind of taking our little victory lap. I even, one time, I even got pussy, you know, I was in a walking boot. I had fucked my foot up. Oh, that know, I was in a walking boot. I'd I'd fuck my foot up. Oh, that's so Boston was really treated nice man. I got it shut out the boy. Hey Wilbur theater. We're coming.

How does it? How did you for two copulate? Yeah in a walking boot. Mm-hmm. Do you take that off? Um, I got my dick sucked with it on. Oh, come. And I believe the boot stayed on. I'd be funny if you tried to take it and it was just like a fetish. You tried to take it off, you said, no, no, no, no. Did you end your neck brace? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it stayed on now that I think about it. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. I was in Boston and I saw your poster for the Wilbur. Mm. What a fucking great headshot. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it feels good inside. Yeah, that's one of the best pictures of me ever taken. And I'll be running. Matt Salachuse. No, uh, Steph Fleming of friend of ours in LA great

fucking photographer. Incredibly. Yeah, fucking nailed it. What about you? You got a city? Where do they fuck with Phil? I don't you know, I'm when I'm on the road, I'm so like do you like do you drink when I'm on the road. I'm so like do you part like do you drink when you're on the road? I used to. I'm not so much anymore. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do? I know I'm more likely to have like I'll have if I'm in town doing spots all I can have like a drink afterwards. But when I'm on the road, I feel like I'm always fucking exhausted. Yeah. Yeah. and exhaust it. Yeah. Yeah.

And nice. Just lexical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just tell him. Just tell him that took a lot out of film. Yeah, reading that. Lauren, take it a migrant. I'll just tell this type of film, Mike a little lower.

Yeah. And Phil was panicking. I can see his eyes. Yeah. He typed it 25 minutes ago. I just got to be here. It's gonna be in his sentence. No, I, so I feel like, yeah, I just got to the end of the sentence.

No, I, so I feel like, yeah, I don't do much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't do much, but I have met, I've met, what about even not on the road? Just you're traveling to a city, is there a city where you get, you're there, you're there type. I've met, I would say West Coast stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would say, I just like, yeah.

Also, I love San Francisco, so maybe I'm just more friendly or whatever. But I've met like a girlfriend that I had for years in San Francisco. Nice. Yeah. The other one for me is probably Portland. I've discussed that.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I, yeah, I've only played Portland. I also feel like if a town fucks me, they're not gonna fuck you as well. You know what I mean? I feel like it's like, there's something about me that if I'm their guy, you're not their guy.

Oh, I want to get a... And vice versa. When I've played Boston and I don't even get, I've never even got a DM. Yeah, yeah. I'm a good show, too. I'm a good show. Yeah, exactly. I was like, I had a BGM, I'm like, I haven't got a DM. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd been DMing with somebody who lived there. I'm trying to think if I fucked anybody but that girl there.

I'll have to think. I don't think I have a talent. Like it's something that I like go with Sam Fran. I just know that I've met women that I met. Yeah, someone I dated with. There's some nice magic in San Francisco. I just love San Francisco too. I'm like, huge careful that fan and that's like their

all-terrefour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you're a big acid boy as a child. I think I'll be young man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you're a big acid boy, is a child. I feel the young man. Yeah, I partake. Did you take acid in high school? A little bit in high school, more in college and shit. Oh, really?

Where did you go to college? I went to college at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Oh, shit, okay. Really shitty school. That's a lot of words on the structure. It's, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a shitty school,

but it's one of those like lower wrong in a university system. All right, University of Maryland is the big one. Yeah. And then University of Maryland, both more county. Okay. But it gave me a scholarship, so I was like, I'll go there. A scholarship and what? A academic?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fuck, you must have been great. That kind of a day. I was good at getting good grades. I was good in school. Okay, I was not. Yeah, yeah, dyslexic as hell. So I just thought, yeah, I was, yeah, and I didn't, like, I was like I was good at getting good grades. I was good in school. Okay. I was not. Yeah. Yeah. This lexic is hell.

So I just like, yeah, I was, yeah, and I didn't, like I was like really good in math, but because I was dyslexic, I was in like special ed for like English and shit, they would just put me in like the slowest math. I wasn't even bothered. It was fucking math. It was crazy, dude. They wouldn't let me join the band.

We got, we got the seventh grade. Oh my god. It's great. And I've been in special ed. I've been like in and out of these schools. And the heartbreaking part was I go to special ed. And that one of my special classes, we started learning Christmas carols in like fucking September. Like it's like the worst. Like given plenty of lead way. Yeah. Browl a lot. It's not so we started like we didn't learn shit. So it was like torture. Yeah.

And it takes your bus and we didn't learn anything. And then so my parents would take me out and put me in regular school again. And I would think I was cured. Right. I was walking in class like yeah man. And then like within like three weeks, I was like I didn't even know if they're speaking English anymore.

Like it was just fucking crazy. You just couldn't read at all. No. Yeah. It's all this special, very funny. Oh, damn. Oh, they're like, I feel special, everybody. Who's alone on YouTube?

Um, but you talk a lot about the, and you, about dyslexia, I'm just kind of like, you know, you're just a little last kid and it's like, damn, I just straight up can't read. Yeah, it was just like everyone's starting to read and you're just like, what? Yeah, like kindergarten was cool. Like socially, I was always like good, you know, and they're fine. And then, yeah, then like the first grade, like right into the gates, there's like spelling,

test and shit, and it would be like, it was just like the rug was completely pulled out. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, because I've been able to do everything all along. You were nailing squares and shapes and colors. But like, yeah, like it was like kindergarten shit. You kids are finding gum on the playground and eating it and I knew like don't do that.

Like here and me, like it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then for Scrake, they were just like, yeah, it was like bad news, man. And then, yeah, so I just couldn't all through school. I just didn't know. That's crazy that they just, that's insane that they just put you in straight up special ed. Do you know there were like wildly disabled kids?

Yeah, like, yeah, like, yeah. So they would put me in special ed. And then one year, seven and eight. So yeah, so seven arrives. I'm like, can't read. They got me in this like funky math. And also math, all of a sudden, started having words. So yeah, so seven arrives. I'm like, can't read. They got me in this like funky math and also math All of a sudden started having words, so I was really into math and I was like Represent Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And for me to spell a word is like, I, at the time I had no association with letters and

sounds and shit. So I would draw. So I could draw like Alberta and it would look pretty fucking close. Wow. You would be drawing. But it wouldn't be spelled, but I would just try to like emulate the shape. And the fucking, my third grade teacher would like was like, we can't, spelled, but I would just try to emulate the shape. And the fucking, my third grade teacher was like, we can't, just gave me zero.

And my mom's like, well, he knows where Alberta is. You know what I mean? That's something. Yeah, that's the shape. And it's so clear that I was like, oh, I'm all, you know what I mean? It was like when you look at like, you know what I'm like a wanted poster and it's like the sketch

and then the actual photo. It was that close. You know what I mean? That was that close. You were there. That's the guy. That's also way more impressive for a little kid to draw. Like if you were to tell me to draw Mississippi. Yes. And I couldn't spell it, but I could draw it.

I'm much more like impressed by joy. Well, the mind, like how much effort it takes to memorize like what the shape of these words were. And that's all I was doing. So, and then we just give me zero and then like science, like hypothesis, you fucking serious man. And then you couldn't spell that. So yeah, I just got, I got fucked.

But anyways, in the seventh grade, I was in special ed with kids with, you know, more serious, more severe learning. There's this ability to do it. Yeah, and then the my way to teacher and then the teacher's assistant was married to the other special ed teacher And his class was even more severe Disabilities so they're catering to those kids so I like I would go to school

I hated it and didn't learn anything because obviously the kids that were Struggling more needed more attention like all right. We're gonna work on not shitting our pants this unit. Like it was. It was like, you know, good job. You're on a hundred day, don't shit your pants street. It was, so I hate it's cool. And it was a fucking, like it fell like this. Of course.

You could've been doing whatever. Absolutely, man. And that pushed you right in the arms of psychedelics. Psychedelics? That's why I don't get laid in Boston. It's a big, it's a big, college town. Lot of readers, Elvis. So yeah, so then in, yeah, like I took acid

when I was really young, because I don't know, I started, I started, and I felt, so who are your friends when you're like, you're in special ed, you're not hanging out with the other special ed kids? No, so kids, because I was so sorry. But I'd tell you one time, I was in seventh grade, or I was in eighth grade, and I was going to high school parties.

I had met older friends. And I remember this kid in eighth grade, and I was at the, we bought Greece, hash oil. Okay, yeah, yeah. And we didn't have rolling paper so we were doing streamers. Do you know what do they have those in Baltimore? You just take oil, you put it in a safety pin,

then you scrape it on the amber, like the hot part of the cigarette, and then you put it in a bottle, like a BT. Whoa. Did they do that? No, we don't do that. In America? We do not do that.

No more, never can't tell us. No, no. So, yeah. So anyways, we were doing that. And just, so wait, I'm sorry, you would light the hash oil like a cigarette. Yeah, it's like like a makeshift dab thing.

We would take a marble. This is like a candy and thing. Okay. I guess you take a marble, you put it in a beer bottle and you go bang like that, or you can use a dime. And you never heard of this. And you bang it against your shoe and it would make a perfect hole.

Oh wow. Okay, okay. And a perfect hole in the beer bottle. And you would smoke good. You put something in the top of the beer bottle, like tissues or you could just use your thumb. And then you would put hash or hash oil on the end of the cigarette. And then you would watch it so it just burned there.

And then you would do a bottle of it. So, and it would fill the smoke up. Yeah, like a gravity ball. Yeah, interesting. But it's like that when I was at the feet of engineering, but that was the go to lay. I went your 12 VT's. Yeah.

So I was at I was at a high. You're already starting with a let's say 50% brain. So you know, you're already you're already one quarter retarded. I know. That's like let's go. Not only let's go hash oil out of a beer bottle. Yeah.

I want you to know. Your skull is fully hard. Yeah, yeah, you can't read. So I want you to know how to do that. I know how to do you see. I'm smart. Yeah. You do it.

You do it teacher. You can hide with that roller paper, motherfucker. So my problem. I'll just you know, I was thinking the other day, I love, you know what I love? Mango the fruit. I love it sweet, it's delicious. And I was eating a piece of mango, pre-cut from a beautiful market here.

You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets. Absolutely. That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know, many times I've gotten sucked off, being like, this actually, one time I don't have to or day, I was like, wanna come I've gotten sucked off. I'd be like, this is actually... One time I don't have to ordeal. I was like, wanna come back with some fruit salad?

And I thought it was smooth. And then some girl, after she fucking was like, that was so weird, you asked me to come over for a fruit salad. I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, Dziak. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point. Because I was eating the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort. DG. Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I

was eating the mango and I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. Yeah, and I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know, I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game You know I'm a dick pill evangelist. Oh, yeah, you know. I'm an ED I've tried them all from the gas stations to other Other services mango Rx now has a new ED pill that is game changing, okay? Tastes like mango my Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary,

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You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing. Yeah. That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hard cock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx, bro. Shining in the light. Yes, one little gleam.

One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Hahaha. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know, yeah, cause like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow. They got all kinds of science shit in here.

They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with a new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard science in the field, right? People who have a beautiful goal, here's their mission, make America hard again, eldest.

Then, you know, let's get, can we get, fuck, an idiot. There you go, sorry. We tried to give it to applause, it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go. And look, make America hard again. I think on, whatever the side of the aisle you're on, conservative liberal leftist centrist,

you could, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away, eldest. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on, on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about mango orics. You might not need it, but you're gonna want it, pal.

All right? I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very You've seen you see me take getables. That's sure just cuz you wanted a little dummy

Cuz I'm so much why I need to get high as well. I'm saying you take weed adibles I've seen you take fiber Edibles where you're shitting yourself cuz you wanted a momentary a momentary snack I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste. And that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks. Buying mango is so easy. Just go to mango rx.com, complete a short and secure telemedicine visit.

You're in your out and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes. It's nothing. Quick and easy. Be sure to use code stav20 to save 20% off your first order. You and your partner are going to love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all

with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms, and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding

or justification get an Airbnb. I remember doing that at a party, a high school party and this kid came up to me and was like my older brother started a party and you weren't even smoking hash right or whatever and I was like tell your dumb fucking brother. You were doing BTs. But yes, so I started, I started, yeah. And then I took acid. Nice.

And we're talking about 13, 14. Yeah. And I was, it was just, the bet, like it just agreed with me. Yeah. Right? It was so fun. And, but there was like a stigma to it, and like my friends all the-

Oh for sure, back in the, like it's kinda opened up now. Either it's opened up now, or I don't give a fuck, because my life doesn't matter, but back then, acid was like a little, like a step up somewhat less dangerous than heroin.

But it was in that zone. Oh yeah, it was like, now people, when you're like, oh, then ascertain, you picture some woman in like a Luna lemon tracksuit. Yeah, I'm a Boots. Yeah, I'm micro-dosing. Yeah, and like, your mom was quite judgmental

when I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. macro-dosing in this great, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what I mean? Now it's like, whatever. Of course, it's like Paul Troll talks about it. I think it's really absolutely. But that vibe. Some Guinness, Palcho style bitches definitely do ask him now.

Absolutely. Yeah, and they're like, and telling me I should try it. They're like, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We snorted microtods. So, but it was just so good for me and you can read while you were on it. You're already acting really. You're just crushing all of them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just like looking at a book and you know everything that happens in Moby Dick. Yeah. Talking about Oliver Twist. So what happened was it just made me, but there was a real stigma to it. And my friends, I was taking it with like much older kids.

And my friends older brothers are like worried about them Hang in I with me stuff and I always felt kind of dirty about it And then I was you were putting yourself squarely in the molestation zone. Yeah, you really were yeah You come out on skates. I'm yeah, no, we're completely on skates. You did come out on sucked by any any college freshmen out on sucked by any any college freshman. Yeah, I was, it was like a, so anyways. So, so the, no, I was not, I was not, I was molested, but I was hanging out with older people and I could have got probably in trouble, I could have got pregnant or what. But then I, and years, years later, I'm in therapy and I'm telling the story to my therapist

and he goes, he goes, you were doing acid because your like school was so stressful, your life sucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. School is so encompassing, especially when it's bad. You know what I mean? It's like when you have a shitty job, all of a sudden it's like,

it seems like a 24 hour thing because you need to do it in it or like training about how bad it's gonna be. So school is brutal, but you need a little escape. I need it. Yeah, like just to go to another dimension. So my therapist was like, yeah, when people were drinking stuff, you were doing acid because it was just more of a release.

And it clicked and I was like, yeah. And I didn't, so now I don't have any, I didn't feel dirty about it anymore. It's good, man. But I will say it agrees with some people. Sure. And it does not agree with others. Like people, there were kids in my hometown that would like take it once and like not.

Start breaking out. Be the same. Wow, really. Yeah, like they take it. I always, I didn't do, I feel like it didn't, um, well, yeah, I don't feel like it didn't hurt me. I know what you're saying. I think it generally agrees with me too. But I remember being in, I was't feel like it didn't hurt me. I know you're saying, I think it generally agrees with me too.

But I remember being in, I was in like eighth grade and we were around the same age and I remember the story for me going around was like, it's either the best or five years later. Yes. A drip will come out of the back of your brain and it'll be your spine and you'll start freaking out. People told stories about it.

There was this guy in a wrestling match and he was winning and then the acid dripped in the back of his head and he started freaking out. He took his singlet off and he started jerking off and people would just make up this crazy shit. He would eat his own shit. Even be like, he would just go crazy. And that stopped me from doing acid until I started

with mushrooms and I was like, whoa, these rock. And if these rock acids probably gonna be fucking sicker than this. And so that was kind of like, but those stories did put me off of psychedelics for a while. Because also like the shit that would be re-re- So like in the 60s, there was like so much like anti-acid propaganda, like it'd be like a cop show and a dude would like jump out.

It was always jumping in a window. And he'd kill his wife and jump out a window. And he'd always like, shh. And it's like some dude jumping in a window. But we're like, so that would be like still kind of on TV on the 4P direct. There'd be like a fucking combo episode. Hold your head a much longer tail.

Yes. Into the 80s and 90s. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, yes. So I always like, but it just, it just, it just agree to that.

Even more so than I smoked a lot of weed too, but there got to be a point where I would like get like tripped out or like paranoid. Sure. And, uh, LSD had never, never had that effect. So you're doing it. How often are we talking? Like every weekend, you're dropping it how often are we talking? Like every weekend you're dropping off the planet.

Yeah, I mean there was a period, not when I was that young, like that young, it was like obviously you know a lot of drug connections, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was the first guy who gave you acid, that's interesting. Where the fuck did, oh, it was someone went down, there was an arcade in our home. Tell me, what sketch is in this?

The suburb of Toronto. The arcade's directly across from the bus station. Like, is it, is it, is it, is it that the Bermuda Triangle of Plannedcy? Right, that's like a child molester was the city planner of that suburb. Absolutely, it was this arcade and it was so fucking,

I don't know what arcades are like now, but back then they were like jet black. Like it was like a haunted house with like a fucking, couple street fighters in there. Absolutely. A claw machine, a street fighter, some fucked up popcorn. Yes, yeah.

But so it was like shit went down man. So like someone drove their bike down, like an older friend, you know it was like shit went down man. So my like someone drove their bike down like an older friend. You know, it was like a friend's older brother drove his bike down to the arcade and bought. Would you do blotters or microdots? Uh, blotters. We use the paper, right? Yeah.

I mean, I'm not familiar with microdots. Oh, I've only ever done liquid or paper. Mike, when when I was like a, when I was like a teenager, when I was like kid whatever, what we would get would be microdots. And they are, dude, they're so small, like there's not a candy this small. It would be like, if you took a nerd and cut it in hat.

Like it was so, hold on, it's eldest is penis size. Yeah. Give me the cheer. Give me the crowd give me the cheers Oh, there's sounds no eldest eldest your fuck your your your cruise and towards a probationary period You're gonna get a demerit soon brother Anyway, so you're doing these eldest is cock-sized yeah micro dots of acid. We were doing what they were called A-W. Yeah, yeah. Elder swings.

And... No, so yeah, dude, they were so small, but I remember getting it, and it was my friends like, this is a double barrel strawberry. Oh, yeah. And I remember taking it, and yeah. Yeah. And now, you must have been like the, because that can happen sometimes where it's like you had like those groups of friends

where like I felt like I always tried to do this where it was like you're the younger kid in the group of the cool older guys and you're almost like their mascot. Like, like, like, like a way but I had more drug experience than that. Oh, because you were ready to go. Yeah, just because I needed a release

like I was like fucking. So were you scoring acid by yourself at like 12? Uh, no, so it would be, I don't know. So the first time an older guy went to the arcade and, uh, got it. Yeah, yeah. And then, and then I would like, you were crazy you were molested. It's, yeah. Dude, I think you're, you're in special ed. Yeah, ed. They could do you know we're hot shorts.

Just sucking on a lollipop. Anybody got acid? Yeah. Hey, Mr. Can you make me feel good? Hahaha. I can't read. Hahaha. Uh, fuck. Well, yeah, so, yeah. I, yeah, we get like someone would go into Toronto. I don't know. Somehow we would get, I would get these little, uh, so you were on the frontier.

Yeah, you know, someone came in with a shipment, but you would have to do so in high school I would do you have to double it up If you do one you probably know this you do one hit on Friday to get high on Saturday You need to do too. Oh, I never I always it was kind of like one big acid event. Oh for a weekend That's smart. I would do but I would do I would probably start with two, but I wouldn't do it back to back. Oh, I was not a back to back guy. I do, I just had so much fun, man.

Yeah, yeah. And, but then I was watching a dead, is a great documentary on Bob Ware, and he was saying like above the grateful dead who were like the absolute forefront of taking LSD for fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I, they would do it, like he was like going like, he was, they were saying, he was saying he was a for fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and- You're pioneers.

They would do it, like, he was like going like, he was, they were saying, he was saying, he was the year they did it, like, once a week and I was like, oh, fuck, I was doing it twice a week. Yeah. You're saying, you're seeing it's like, dude, chill out. Handle chill, man.

Yeah. This Canadian child's really fucking shitting on us. That's hilarious. Now, did you ever have any of the like, so you're just having a good time. You're not having any existential crises. You're not doing any of that. No, no, no, no, no, no, I never break throughs.

No, nothing. I mean, I'm not, I mean, I must have because it's like I did. I certainly developed a love for the grateful dad, which was music, for us. I designed it on YouTube. I bought people on acid, four people on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's certainly in the 60s, that was the case.

But yeah, I developed a love for the dead. And no, I mean, I would like, cause I mean, I saw some crazy shit and it made me, I don't do it, like I don't do it now. Like I'll still go, I'll go to see the dead, they're doing like, so, yes, cause I've done enough that I understand what it it, like I don't do it now. Like I'll still go, I'll go to see the dead, they're doing like, so, yes, because I've done enough that I understand what it would be like, I don't need to anymore.

I might have a beer or if like someone spoke to join it might take a hit. Yeah, sometimes. Sure. But, I guess I took mushrooms last year, but I generally don't. Yeah. And yeah, but I think, like I did see things,

you, by taking acid, even back then and then now you understand certain things of design and you understand certain aspects of pop culture that were clearly fuel on LSD. Like I remember taking it in a parking lot of like this like library and it was all like trampled on like like people that like walked around on the snow, you're out in the snow. And I could see a pattern,

like you could just, you could just see how creatively people have taken it over the years and created these things, because you do find patterns. It's wild, I don't know the science behind it, but it definitely does. There's definitely certain things for sure. Like, I mean, I feel like you watch,

you see some of that, the mushrooms or the acid art, where everyone has those big ass eyes, and you have that like little sharp nose. And that's like, you would see artwork like that, and you're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a paces a big acid thing, oh my god. Yeah.

But I remember seeing like, everyone kind of, I remember looking at myself in the mirror on mushrooms and being like, Oh, I look like an elf. This is what people see. That's definitely a style with the big ass eye. Yeah, yeah. If I saw them, this is what being on mushrooms is

where you see certain movies, you're like, oh, this is what it feels like to be on acid. Dude. The guy Mandy, that's a big acid movie for sure. Oh, I haven't seen Mandy. No, I heard it really. Yeah, it's really good. And then the director, he's a Greek guy.

I think it's, can you look it up, George Cosmato, I want to say. He did another movie that feels even more like acid. It's great. I think it's acid cinemas. You would, Pano Scosmato, sorry, Pano, a Greek man. I remember seeing. Beyond the black rainbow.

That's an acid acid. Oh, I'll give you the texatumero. I live your voice memo of it. I remember. Yes. I am. I'll leave you a voice memo of it. I remember. I remember, I remember watching being high on it. We would do acid and then smoke. Another we do hot knives.

Do you know those? No. That's gotta be also an American thing. We heat up a knife on our blowtorch and we pick up the hash. Dabs. You're a dab pioneer. Look at you. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. But then you get so fucking tripped out of your mix. No, that's too much. But I remember getting high being on acid, smoking and watching up and smoke that teaching chong movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it being almost feeling like this is like a spiritual church.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it was so much joy. Like laughing totally. Falling, I remember dosing and watching Dhamma Dhamma and laughing so hard that I fell off a couch. Like it was just so funny. Yeah, well I think about that sometimes too about how I would love to go to church on a psychedelic, because you got stained glass, you got all the incense, you got the like singing

in a way that's like, you know, it would probably feel cool. Yeah, I wonder what it would do to you. I wonder if you would see something that you missed before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I believe in God afterwards. That'd be something. You believe, yeah, like, yeah. Maybe I believe in God afterwards. That'd be something. You believe, yeah, like, uh, but who knows? So you're after you're after you're the little acid king

of Ontario. Uh huh. The little acid king of Ontario. I'm doing it with me, okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So you're not you're clearly not going to fucking college. No, well, no, I had this experience where in 12th grade, I go in to see the guidance counselor and he was like real fucking snooty with me. And he kind of laughed in my face when I said I wanted to go to, I just said it because all my friends

had gone to college. They were older, they all gone to college. I was going up and party with them a week in a cell. Maybe I should go there. This is cool, they have way more gone to college. I was going up on party with them a week in a summer. Maybe I should go there. This is cool. Yeah. They have way more acid in college. So it's easier to get acid here. So maybe so I decided their knives are even hotter in college. So I decided I was gonna go to I decided I wanted to go to college and I went in and if the guy was just fucking civil to me, I probably would have dropped the idea.

But because he was so snooty and shitty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went home and I was like upset because he was like, he just laughed at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go home and I tell my parents and my dad was like, my mom was always like going to school and being like, he's not dumb, he's like a smart kid, he's dead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, give him another chance. Which is true, they clearly mishandled the educating you. Well, yeah, they suck. Like in today's day, you have a much different experience in school. I hope so, but I see like I have friends whose kids have recently been diagnosed with dyslexia.

And it's like if you meet a kid that's like, you know, is social and is like, you know, has interests like into music or into, it has to look real interest in knowledge about things, but can't read. Then chances are, like 90% they're dyslexic because they're smart. They just have a challenge in that one area. So yeah, they, so anyways, I ended up, I could have gone, I qualified for call. I ended up working my ass up. I just got lucky.

My last year of high school, they had this weird program at last one year where I would have a subject, then a one-on-one teacher. Wow. So I wasn't, I didn't have to write anything. I didn't have to read anything. I would sit in the class, then I would take what I took to him. He'd read it to me and write out my marks. All all of a sudden my marks, I was doing so well. And I was like, you mother fuckers, to this knee that I was like dumb and celebrating me

for not showing myself like you said. So I worked with him. No, really like, and all the kids in the class, they make them, if you were a little bit struggled, they would make you so you felt really, you know what I'm for sure. They would do whatever. So I was like, you're my the fuckers man. So I could have gone, but it took a lot out of me

and my parents were like, you could go to college, but you, we think it would be like more trouble than it's worth whatever. That's awesome, your parents like like I don't know about all this About all this college Those fucking No, but like Phil why don't we just set 60 grand on fire instead All right, nice, so what you do what you do? What'd you do? It's like a...

Well, I tried to move to... I've joked about it by my mother. Yeah, I was gonna ask, is that when the modeling started? Yeah, which is also hilarious. You're so hilarious. Because you're a good-looking guy, but it's funny to say you're a fashion model. Yeah, well, it was ridiculous. Which, by the way, both of us have been in Vogue. That's beautiful.

I was on the... We were both models. Yes, we were all model podcasts and a ugly piece of shit producer and a one day. Yeah, that's a cow. This is a jumping pad for my modeling. He's yeah, he's doing it to fucking to to network with you. So anyway, so you fucking, you're not gonna find anything dude. You know? So how does this happen? How did you get discovered as a fucking model?

I had a friend who was, she was like a real model and she just knew that I wasn't gonna do this. She was like, you should model. And at the time, I looked, there was a brief moment where like I was very skinny. I had long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tall guy, how tall you? Six, two.

Yeah, but the look was skinny with long hair and looked like someone that did drugs and I was like, yeah. It had been researching that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been getting ready for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been known enough. Yeah.

So, uh, yes, I did that for like, I moved to Europe, I lived in London and I did that for like four years and then. So you have a job or you just go with your friend? I went, no, my friend, like my friend was like huge. I see, I met someone in, I'm like an agent in New York. I met with your friend. What's that? Heidi Klum, your friend.

Yes. Yeah. Klum. And I went, saw her in person years ago and she was so beautiful. It was crazy. I believe it. I saw her at a flea market.

Wow. And did, yeah, it was really stunning. And God, wow. You're like, I'm a model. Yeah. What's up? It's like head shots. Yeah.

So then, you know, so she was big and then, but you got a job and then you just moved. I met an agent, I met an agent through her and he's like, calm and do a fashion week in Milan. Right off the rip. Yeah, like, but it's like a scam. Again, yeah, like they bring in like all these dudes, but I actually got lucky and had booked some shows.

Another way you narrowly avoided molestation. I think that, honestly. You're in a foreign country, some gay guys like, come to Italy. Yeah, can't read the street sign. Yeah, it's in a foreign language and it's fucking just print. You're over too. Starving for somebody that again with a sucker.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know, like those, when they talk about like people at work, like being like sexually harassing stuff like that, like that shit does happen in Mell Mottel. And these guys that were homophobic until the fucking plane landed in the middle of it. You mean, because generally male models, when I was, a male model was like, just the best looking guy from high school. It was like the athletes that were fucking shredded.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And now they have to, yeah, 100%. But I was like, in high school, there were like parties, pool parties, where I would like swim with a t-shirt. Like I was not like, I am hot. Yeah, yeah. But I was there like I am hot yeah, yeah, he was but I

Was there what that look was popular whatever so I went and like Milan fashion week back then Was just like a cattle call and I think people liked the idea. I was embarrassed I was in my mind. I wanted to be like, you know, I was like Jarrigg or see it would not be like, you know, I was like, Jarrig or Sia would not. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Walking around Italy with a fucking portfolio.

Now I look back and I'm like, you couldn't read. Yeah. You had no employable skills. You're not gonna work in a factory. You had no upper body strength. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, I should have been jumping for just one of the few possible jobs you could have had. Yes, just walking. I might have gone only possible job. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, so

anyways, I did do it. I did it for like four years and then. But what was what freak mail was I hated school. My dad growing up didn't like his job. And I had this thing in my head where I wanted to do something that I love. So same I would me did you really you're like I'm not gonna have a shitty job. Well, it's the same thing my dad was would always complain constantly would talk about how you know we fucking took him from Greece how it's like you know he hates all the shitty has to do. And he was like you better fucking get a good job or you're on dub like me. And I always pretend it. And so they always wanted me to be a lawyer in shicks. I was good at school.

Or just like some, you know, go to school, get a good job, all that shit. And I always knew, like I was like, I'm now I'm gonna be different from my dad. And I thought it was gonna be, oh, be a lawyer or something. But in the back of my head, I was like, I don't wanna do that shit. Oh, really? I wanna do, or something, but in the back of my head, I was like, I don't wanna do that shit.

Oh, really? I wanna do, I always wanna do comedy. Like, from the time that I was like nine or 10, I knew. Wow. And I pretended not to, because I wanted my parents to like, I had all this immigrant guilt of like, you know, oh, I have to like, I have to be successful

and I have to get a good job and everybody's depending on me. And then it was like, when I was like, I started doing open mics and I have to get a good job and everybody's depending on me. And then it was like when I was like, I started doing open mics when I was like 19. And then the guilt came back and I quit and went to school. No way really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, my family really, you know, whatever.

And then I was doing this and I was like, this makes me miserable. Yeah. And then I was like, wait, fuck my family. I'm a child. Yeah. Come on, 18. They're the adults. wait, fuck my family. I'm a child. Come on, 18. Like, they're the adults.

It's not my fault. They get, you know, my dad can't fucking pay his bills. Like so, so that I had like that- What was that realization? What made you have that epiphany? I think it was that like, it's one thing to say this is what I'm gonna do. Yeah.

Because I'm gonna do something that I don't really, that I hate because I'm good at it and I can make money. It's one thing to say that theoretically, but when you had gotten the taste of what comedy's like, and then you have to go back, and I was interning at the Maryland House of Delegates, like I was doing this like fucking, you know, I was getting all these like,

I was getting four, I was at Great-Grade, I was on a scholarship program, but I hated it. And I was like, I don't, I'm like, wait, this is gonna be this for 40 years. I'm gonna feel this way for 40 years. So it's just one of those things I was like, I cannot do this. I physically will fucking wanna,

like I already, even when I'm doing something I like I have one to kill myself. Now I gotta go fucking do something I hate. So it was that thing where I was like, fuck it dude, I'm just doing, and I had jobs, but really once I got back to stand up, I knew I was like, So how much time did you take off? Probably like a year, year and a half.

Okay. Nothing crazy. By the time I was 21, I was doing it again full, and I never stopped since then. So. Yeah, like this. I did it for like a year, nine months, something like that, and then I...

Were your folks disappointed? Did you finish school? Yeah, I did. I didn't finish school. I need six credits to graduate, and they're language credits, and I'm fluent in Greek. So I could take a test, but I just don't.

I just think it's kind of funny to... Yeah. Because I walk, they let you get your degree. Oh, really? Well, they let you walk, because they assume you'll go to summer school and get your degree Because what kind of lunatic yeah would get 98% of a degree and then be like no, I'm good. Yeah, yeah But all I wanted was the pictures for my mom. I think you know, fuck I got the cap and gown pics. Yeah, yeah

They can suck my dick. So they definitely were Sounds like quite a commencement speech I was probably a Dictorian. But yeah, they were definitely disappointed at first. Yeah. Literally my dad called me once and he was like, this is when I told my mom I was like, hey, I want to do comedy. I don't want to.

Because I might have gone to grad school. I might have gotten a serious job at an undergrad. But instead I was like, hey, I just want to to grad school. I might have gotten a serious job at undergrad. But instead, I was like, hey, I just want to let you know, I'm giving comedy a shot. I'll have some bullshit jobs, but this is my main priority. Yeah. And I told my mom that, and then my dad, I just get a call from him.

And he picks up and he's just like, ah, just a sigh. Really? I'm like, hello? And he's like, no, hello, no, no. And he's like, no hello, no, no. He's like, your mom told me you're going to do comedy now, huh? And I was like, yeah. He was like, and literally hangs up.

Like that's the, yeah, that was the conversation me and my dad had about me doing, that's the only time I've ever discussed doing comedy. And then he saw me when I opened for Bobby at Macgoobie's joke house, you know, like, you you know they saw me do shit later my mom Completely is on board and was on board pretty quick. Yeah, she saw she thought I was just trying to get fucked up And have a good time and not have a job. Yeah, which you know, I get why I was lazy growing up But in reality, I was just like I fucking like comedy so she's on board now

But it was that it was it was touching go there for a while. But yeah, I don't know. It's in the no male modeling, that's for sure. So I had the same thing where my dad didn't, so he's not respecting you as a model or what? No, no, no, no, my folks have been totally on board with everything. They're just happy.

They wanted me to, they were worried that I was gonna stay in my hometown. So when I had an opportunity to travel, they were like, really? That's honestly huge for your dumb ass kid who's on acid and can't read. Yeah, reason Milan and like, seeing Italy, seeing Paris.

Well, just, they thought, yeah, and it was, and I was there while my friends were in college. I guess my friends finished before I had moved home, but for me, it was like, my friends were in college. I guess my friends finished before I had moved home. But for me, it was like, my dad didn't love his job. And I was like, fuck, I don't wanna do that. And on top of that, from kindergarten to the end of school was hell.

So I was like, I am not doing something I don't enjoy. Right, right, right. For a Millie. For a Millie,isink of my adulthood. So even modeling where I look back and I'm like, I probably should have done it longer. Yeah. But like for example, I lived in this modeling,

it was like, they're like hotels, but they were just for models. Yeah, hilarious. And there was like at one point, like there would be like four dudes in a room like you at least little Cots again with the molestics. It's true. It's hilarious. Yeah, you're so close to getting sex traffic So I mean it's so we're living in Milan do it living in these like and sometimes it was like five dudes in a room It would be a big room with like just like single beds and

a guy that I'd live with and And a guy that I'd live with and so I I'd quit modeling. He stayed with it. And then when I moved to New York to do comedy So as a comedian in Vancouver for years with the goal get to fucking New York, you know, I saw a comedian the doctor I was like get to yours of course. I move in I'm living with a couple in Williamsburg and they had four cats and a pit bull Oh my god, but lovely animals, but lots of them. Too many. Yes, in a two-bedroom apartment. Yeah. And I'm just renting a room there.

I'm putting the key... If you saw this in a movie, you'd be like, dude, it's two on the nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm putting my key into this new apartment, knowing that I'm like moving into a fucking petting zoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As I'm putting the key in, the door across the hall

opens up and it's the guy I used to live with. He stayed modeling. He now lives in Williamsburg with his Brazilian supermodel. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Retired at like 32 years old I'm not like I'm not lying. I'm not saying like yeah, it was actually the second time I know The time the key hit the Dude walks out like it was it was a fucking episode of friends It was like and action and you had to see him at the see him and I was like David and he's like he didn't at first didn't like fully recognize me and then and then he did and then he's like how's it going and I'm like oh good You know really good

Yeah Really really good man Really good man. Oh, really awesome. Like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like Back there. Oh God, it was, it was, it was, it was fucking nuts. So I could have maybe done it a little bit longer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, oh God, and okay, so when you start, you do like editorial stuff and it doesn't really pay, but you like shoot with like cool for talking to you. Sure, sure, sure. But you're trying to get, I mean, you want like a clone ad or whatever, but also if you do catalog work, it pays really well.

And my last job was in Germany, and it was just trying on ski coats and you make ridiculous money. And here I am, fucking a literate with no plan. With no plan. You're like, fuck this. What the fuck am I? With the liter, Jess, sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With the easiest job. It's wine and dine by some fucking German ski company. And I thought I was above that. And moved home to Vancouver to take an improv class. It's so insane. Incredible. That is the most special ed thing you've ever done. Oh, yeah, that's the most special ed thing you've ever done

That's dumber than the way I spell when In my parents were just like yeah, that sounds right dear. Yeah, no one was like to supportive. Yeah So much you've been like dude stay with you fucking you to what yeah So anyways, I didn't I wasn't I love I love music and LSD we touched upon that, but I was never someone who like I was always like a smart ask and was like someone who like was fearless when it came to like basically what I do in between jokes the crowd I did I've done since I was you've been fucking with people yeah, just like fucking around. Was it was fearless when it came to like basically what I do in between jokes the

You've been fucking with people yeah, just like fucking around and being a smart ass Which was dangerous in my hometown because it was a lot of fighting. Yeah Yeah, so I do but I didn't love call I guess I love making people laugh, but I didn't realize That that was a thing like I didn't know was a skill. Like I didn't know it was a skill. Of course, of course. Growing up, hockey was a skill. School, like things that you could grade. And you can't grade how much you got in the Friday night. So I had no idea that I had any ability in anything.

It is really funny, because it is these intangible things. Yeah. We were like, what is podcasting other than having a good, being a good hang for a little bit? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, we have turned these weird intangibles into, because I feel like I've gone pro at hanging out.

That's what, that's what this life and job feels like. It's like, I'm one of the top 10 hanging out guys. Well, it's true. I mean, and the dudes that are great at podcasting are the dudes that are great hangs.ing are the our dudes that are great hangs Yeah, you got to be a great hang or you have to have that like those like you know joke joke joke like anything Fucking bang, you know, it's like those are the two you know top skills that in Like or just knowing random facts random fact and having no shame and talking about really personal things mark

Norman school exactly He'll say whatever That's awesome, but wait. Oh, yeah, so then I move back and I started to do and then the first improv class I got a laugh from the class and I was like oh This feels as good getting a lot from strangers as it does from friends and family. So then I slowly said, still a big mistake.

Yeah, your life would be so much better. I put it in the cool. You could have been the funniest model. You know how much more fun that would be? Yeah. Then like a hot comedian. Funny models who you want to be proud. I think you can get laid in Boston.

Yeah. Well, there's a ton of those shit I wanna talk about. I think that's a nice little, well come on, you gotta come back to Stavis, well. Oh, I'd love to come back to Stavis. But we gotta, now that we got a little taste of our dyslexic friend here, we're gonna take some calls,

we're gonna answer some listener voice gonna take some calls. We're gonna answer some Listen to voice smells 904 800 stop. I hope you guys ask questions about doing acid Because because feels got you covered But before we do that, why don't we you're coming you're on the road. What are you doing? What where can the people find you feel before we do? Started you please take this out because I know Even though like in a month or a month and a half April maybe oh Wish it I plug go go Raleigh, you know, oh sweet sweet. Okay. This please come Charlie Goodnights Raleigh March 3rd. Yeah, you promised me this would be a button We can't promise Indianapolis

Indianapolis, right Greek is that a Greek nameapolis? Yeah Polish yeah, yeah Indianapolis March 4th so Raleigh Charlie Goodnight March 3rd Indianapolis fourth. All right, right next to each other, Raleigh. Yeah. Yeah. Nice routing. Yeah. Yeah. And there's back in Raleigh, right? The next day.

Yeah. We're gonna show Raleigh. We're gonna show you needapolis. Then Philly March 9th to 11th Philly Punchline. And then Houston, the riot, the seventh and the eighth okay. Yes, please come to those shows minimum minimum you will hear this by the Houston dates guys That we can promise Please I want to sell those tickets

April seventh and eighth at Houston the riot. Yeah, and go and go watch the special course But we love a, very good stuff, but, you know, we want it, we just want to get those plugs out, well, before you guys are fast forwarding to the end, go see our boy Phil, watch a special, and now why don't we get, why don't we get some questions here? Let's get, let's get Phil's perspective

on some of these life issues our friends are having. Hey, stop. Go ahead, I'll and play as the first one hey stop i've got a quick question for you i've been doing this girl for about two and a half years and uh... you know her dad's the real

the real money maker the family are real successful guy just recently i work let's talk talking one of my co-workers about her dad and he said oh isn't he so-and-so the drive so-and-so car I was like yeah how do you know that he was like oh I can't tell you how I know that I was like well now you got to tell me and he said well while back he was having an affair with the receptionist. And uh... My girlfriend's always kind of said that she has suspicions that are bad sheets, but it's

never been confirmed. And now I've been living with this secret for about a month or so. I just don't think I should tell her, but part of me want the honesty and a relationship is important. I just don't know if I should tell her. So if you could let me know what you think, that'd be sick. Love what you're doing. Yeah, well, look, honesty and a relationship is important, but is it more important than some guy getting pussy on the side? It's hard to say. At the same time, I do feel for this guy because it's a weird situation.

It's like, it's not like, you know, it's a rumor, it's going around, you know. It's not what I... Yeah, also it's like weird, what kind of, it's like, does he drive a green car? Yeah, he's fucked him his reception Oh, yeah green car big big Mike Of course, no no Mike. He fucking stretched Vanessa out. We were talking about it for months right in that Buick Yeah, that's but also it's I've had situations in life where you try to do the right thing any fucking blows Exactly up and then she associates you with the worst news. She's ever gotten her life or that's a good point

You know to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if she's like sure if someone's completely evolved say they started doing LSD at 12 They can handle something like that, but that is that's a fucking biggie even if like sometimes someone will hit like Maybe she's gonna go my dad like he's you know, he's such a flirt when we go to home depot or whatever That man sees an orange apron. He can't help himself Yeah, that man sees an orange apron. He can't help himself. Yeah, he has an orange pen. So, but idea, that's a fucking, like even if she hints at it,

it still she couldn't really make sure in terms of it. And your point about trying to, going out of your way to do the right thing, blowing up in your face, I believe in the wire, the term was, there you go again, giving a fuck when it's not your turn to give a fuck.

And that is honestly great advice. In some way, now look, I also understand that you loved your girlfriend and you want her to know the truth. Here's how I would play it. First of all, I could swallow this secret without even thinking about it. Oh my God, it wouldn't even remember.

I would force myself to forget, or I would just keep it in the back of my mind in case me and pops have a little run in. Yeah, I mean, I'm driving the green car, you know what I mean? Yeah, I just show up in the fucking Porsche, and my girlfriend's like, how'd you get this? Like, your dad is just a really big fan of mine.

He's just a really cool really reasonable guy But if you're not built built like this you can't swallow dark see dark family secrets You don't come from a family that with you're the father was pretty openly cheating on the mother and you've learned how to Compart mentalize that if you're not that kind of guy Here's how I would play it openly cheating on the mother and you've learned how to compartmentalize that if you're not that kind of guy Here's how I would play it I would either broach the situation or I would kind of like talk about her dad with her Kind of have a little conversation or if it ever came up

If it ever came up you want a pounce and be like well, you know if you If you're worried we could ask around. I'm sure I could do a little snooping. You know what I mean? If you make it sound like, I mean, how worried are you about this? You want me like, ask around. And if she's like, you know what, I'd rather not know, then you know, you have your answer right there.

But if she's like, really, you think like somebody might know, and you're like, hey, it doesn't hurt, I can ask, it doesn't matter. Yeah. And you're like, oh, well, okay. And then you just give it a week, give it three days or whatever, and then come back with the old information, there's new information. But at the same time, you know, it's a rumor,

you don't wanna fucking, you know. Yeah. But it does seem like a pretty out in the open rumor. It's also not, how long has Guy been dating her, does he say? Oh, thanks, though. Oh, two and a half years. Two and a half years is a little different. Oh, that's interesting.

I feel like I couldn't walk around with that. I feel like that's what I was gonna say. Two and a half years is serious. You couldn't walk around with that? If you're like in the relationship long enough and if it's like kind of, if it's kind of on her radar already or something. Yeah, I don't know.

It depends how rumor like it felt. If it's just some fucking guy who works at someplace and it seems, oh yeah, he gets pussy. That's not the same as like on March 24th, he was spotted with Erica coming out of a motel. Like there's, you know, if it's closer to the ladder. Yeah.

I don't have a serious, that's a serious girlfriend. But also there's a thing, and I've had this experience where I had a girlfriend who had to choose between her and me, and we'd been together for years. We've been her and you. we'd been together for years. And in her and you. Like, her, her, her family. She just choose between her family and me.

And it was and she didn't give it a second thought. She ran out with the family. So, and you think, cause to my mind, you'd be like, of my family, like, so it could blow up for him. Sure. And it could also, maybe, maybe the mom is aware, what about this scenario? The mom is aware, she just turns,

you know, wants to turn a blind eye, then you confront, the daughter confronts, so then the mom is like, well, I'm her, like then the mom's in this weird position where, like this could blow shit up. It could get fucking nuclear nuclear real quick, man. So, okay, that's fair. However, I will say, the read you have to make here

is like, what does your girl think of her dad? Like, if this is me, right? I don't fuck with my dad. And I know he's cheated, whatever, but it's like, but if somebody came to up to me, and it's like, your dad, like, like in a situation where somebody had proof back in the day, I would appreciate that.

If your girl doesn't like her father, she shit talks her dad, or if it's more than just suspicions and she's like, I think she's, she's gonna go my mom, he's a fucking piece of shit. You do have to play it by ear because I agree with you. Sometimes there is like a family first all the way. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if this is the, and that's, I'm gonna guess that was an immigrant.

Because immigrants are like that. Yeah. Where it's like your family, it's right or die. White people, they'll pick you up. White girls will pick you over her family a lot of the time. Yeah. So are we dealing with some, we dealing with some honky pussy right now? But those are your, that's what you have to figure out. How does she feel about it? How much of a, how much of a

rumor is this? Is it real? B, how does you feel about her dad? And then you have to think, do you want to slow play it? Or do you want to just say like, hey, I heard some fucked up shit about your dad at work. And also, if you can just fucking go about your dad. And if you can't, if you can live like that, go about your dad. Those are your options, pal. And that's what you have to figure out. And we actually have three competing, this is it, because the panel is split.

Now this is Taylor right away. I don't respect MTV's bro code. Yeah, I don't respect guy code at all. Yeah. Fills like, hey man, let it, let don't respect Guy Code at all. Yeah. Fills like, hey man, let it roll, brother. Yeah, you know? Yeah. Well, I would do, no, I'm more of the like,

a little bit on your side. I agree with you to a certain extent, but I would poke it. I'm the middle way where I'm like, I would do a little more fact-finding. Yeah, because could you imagine if the mom knew it was an arrangement, but then the mom's confronted with the daughter has to say like, you let him, you know what I mean?

Of course, that's a whole, you're right. That's the nightmare scenario. But you know, good luck. We just gave you three completely different answers. Yeah. I figured it out. Figure it out dumbass. I know.

I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass.

I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. I'm trying to figure it out dumbass. It's Donnie. Big Ed. Listen, I got a question about, like, my girlfriend, right? So we was dating about four months, you know, and we, I mean, the sex is good, but, I mean, that all, she has to be, like, choked and hit a lot. And, like, you know, I mean, that was fine with the occasional slap,

but she asked me a couple of days ago to punch her in the face I don't know exactly how I feel about that yeah you know that could be that's kind of problematic for me I mean I was raised not to hit a woman but she did ask me to yeah let me know. What the hell do I think I should do? Do I punch her in the face? If she asks or, I don't know, like, use your life. Okay, well, you weren't raised to hit a woman, but were you raised to hit a woman when your cock was inside of her? Those are two different things.

I'm pretty sure your mom was never like, listen, you know, she never had to talk about like, about hitting a woman while penetrating her. It's a little bit of a different thing. And also once, just because you act like you hit her during sex, that means if she annoys you during dinner, you can also hit her. That's, it doesn't open up the floodgates to just punch a woman if you have rough sex with her.

So it's not, it's not really to to me, I wasn't raised to do this because we weren't raised to eat ass either, but we're all doing it. But if you're not comfortable with it, that's another thing. And I get that, punches are fucking, that's a slap, I can get behind, but punches a little, now we're really talking.

Now the fucking big guns are out. Yeah, like I would, if someone, you're sleeping with someone, you want to fulfill them, you want to please them, or whatever. But if someone was like, punch me. Yeah. And if, yeah, that's, yeah.

How annoying was she that day? I've had some axes. I was like, no, but that's what she wanted. Or I'd be like, I wouldn't some axes. No, but that's what she wanted. I wouldn't even think. That's like a key, that's a, if he, first off, that's unique. Sure. I've had many conversations about sex before. No one's ever, like, I've never seen someone wrapping their knuckles without, oh, you're

going to get, you're going to make love. You're on your own relationship. So that's like a unique request. And I'm not judging her for whatever she wants, whatever. But clearly, if you're reaching out to a podcast host for advice, you're not comfortable with it. So if you're not comfortable with it, then don't, I mean, it's that, and don't think,

like there's anything wrong with that, that's like, I feel like that's what I would classify as a big ask. Yeah, it's that, absolutely. It's in the same category as like pegging you or like, you know, if your girl was like, hey, do you mind if while we fuck you suck a guy's cock, you'd be like, no thing, so I'm all set.

But punch, I would honestly punch a whole real punch. I would put that in the same category as sucking some cock. Cause that's tough, like a pun. A slap is fine. I'll get a slap in there. Choking is even fine too. But look, it's not about how you're raised.

It's not about problematic. It's not about any of that shit. It's about what you're comfortable in within your relationship. And look, maybe because it's a about problematic, it's not about any of that shit. It's about what you're comfortable in within your relationship. And look, maybe because it's a big ask, maybe you treat it like other big asks, and maybe on a fucking birthday, you have really tuna up. You know what I mean? I don't know, man.

Maybe you save it for a special occasion, the way like a girl will only let you fuck her in the ass on vacation every once in a while, that kind of thing. If that's how you're comfortable, that's all I'm saying. You have to get in the, you can also just have a bound, a sexual boundary, and it's totally valid for you to just be like, Hey listen, I'll slap you, I'll choke, you'll spit in your eye, I'll call you a whore,

but I really don't wanna be fucking uppercutting you. I don't wanna donkey punch you while I'm hitting it from the back. How do you even like punch someone's face without likely like fucking their face up? I can't imagine. Well, you're having sex. You're already moving.

Yeah. How do you take that in there? Yeah. How do you put it in there? I mean, from a just mechanical standpoint, I can see it. It wouldn't be a serious one. I think it'd be like, if you're not,

but that's also say, some fucked up has happened here. Let's do a little mass. Well, if, but listen, she got a bus, she's got a bus, I don't have a, but you know, well, I mean, I think across the board, if someone, you're with someone and they, you're not into what they want to do, then I think. Yeah. You don't have to, if you're not into what they want to do than I think. Yeah.

You don't have to, if you don't punch your girlfriend doesn't mean you don't love her. That's right. Beautiful words. And also it's four months. You look four months. Yeah. You have to, you have to draw your bound. You have to think about what you're comfortable with and the chips are gonna fall where they may Maybe this is a problem for her. She wants to get punched all the time Maybe it's a special occasion whatever but you have to figure out what you're comfortable with

Communicate that to her say look The I'm just not that I'm comfortable with this maybe once in a while maybe never This is what I'm comfortable with and that's okay. okay. It can be a little awkward, I get that. But there is so many of these questions come down to have a conversation about it. Yes. Which is hard. I understand that it's hard,

but is it harder than punching her in the face? Probably not. I would just have the conversation. I don't think this is easy. If the conversation is easier than punching her in the face, have the conversation. If you find punching her in the face, have the conversation. If you find punching her in the face easier than the conversation, then fucking uppercutter. You know what I mean?

Those are your options. But I think have a conversation, talk about what you actually want. And that's whether it's a punch or a peg or a a seating or a role play or whatever. You have to figure out what you wanna in a consensual relationship. You're a rough sex guy there, Phil. I mean, I'm like, the person I'm with would have other into. You're a little chameleon, you're a sexual chameleon.

I can, but I've never, I've never. There's never been the thing. You're not beating off about slapping a woman. Well, I've never had anyone ask me something where I was like wait did I miss you So many sounds like a fucking x-rated jackass prank I'm going to push me off my bike Not to judge I'm not, whatever people are into. But that strikes me. Also like, what if it's like a phase,

or what if she's just had that phase scene and then you put, I don't know, man. I know, I know, I know. So I've never been with someone who, I've never been taken back by a request. I would request sure, sure, sure. I have, but it's been more psychological. I've, people have been like, like, I could dirty talk,

but it's like, sometimes somebody will want real wild shit set about them. And I'm just like, all right, can I just fucking come? Can I just bust for Christ's sake? I gotta be fucking doing a whole monologue. Yeah. I talk for a living. You're gonna do sex in work.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. You've never let the hands fly out. Is your a gentle giant? Uh, sometimes. I mean, everyone's different, you know. Whenever I've done like, sort of shit like that though, it's like, it always feels like, you know,

kind of like a role play thing, right? Yeah. Not really into it, yeah sure fucking let's get let's get in there I'll never see you again what do I care let's get in the oxy-goves it's like yeah overall you know I'm good with a mine pine the cab and sauce yeah yeah yeah yeah just let me let me let me look at a nice pretty I you want to turn the otherites. You want to turn the other person, like you want to turn the other person on this part of the thrill.

I will say there are certain girls for whatever reason, like a lot of girls that are trying to be want to be thrown around, I think it's because you're like a big guy. It's assumed you're gonna fucking manhandle them. And I think maybe they can tell that I have an anger problem I'm trying to suppress. Because you have an anger problem, huh?

I grew up in my big anger problem, my whole family. I've gotten a lot better with it. And I will say if a girl is annoying enough, sometimes she taps into that and I do kind of fucking, they can tell that it's like, oh, his dad must have broken coffee tables. So I'm gonna ask him to, you know, slap me. And if they catch me when I'm really thinking about childhood trauma, sometimes they hit the

jackpot. But it feels like an unclean use of, it feels like an unclean energy that you're tapping into. I'd much rather just look at a nice big paratissant bust personally, but, you know, you got to do what you got to do, pal, ultimately. And to our friend, I think you're not, you're not, you know, you to do what you got to do pal ultimately and to our friend I think you you're not you're not you know you might have not had an abusive father so maybe you're not gonna be good at it what else we got here

Eldis? Hey what's up so question for you I'm not quite legal advice but like ethical how this is start I don't like it's a legal decision I'm trying quite legal advice but like ethical. Yeah, this is star. I don't like to put on a legal decision I'm trying to make. So a couple months back, my now ex girlfriend tried to murder me. So like she pulled a knife on me. What the fuck is this? Super fun. He knows you do that. You're gonna love me right?

I was a paralegal. They didn't check if I graduated. Yeah, that's where they hired me. Wait, this is wild. Yeah, I'm sorry. Start this a little bit back. So I'm trying. I'm trying.

I continue to date her. Really smart. Um, try to murder me. So like you're pulling the knife on me and then cut my chest. Super fun. What? I continue to date her. Really smart for me. And then only later on did she become

an ex after she cheated on me with a full frat. No. So I would be evident. And the police report and like she got a jail originally for trying to kill me but I'm like press hardest should I do that now oh that like kind of like it takes things away this long it's all for the thick thing that she that's trying to kill me then treat I mean just now look a little bit funny you were gonna let a fucking attempted murder slide until she got a train ran on her dude that ain't how it works bro.

Damn imagine, just imagine how good this girl's pussy is. I mean, I mean this must be insane. Moment, your own blood is dripping off your chest. Like you're what an inch and a half from your heart. You're shit, like you're what an inch and a half from your heart Your shit like it's what I've never heard of like yeah, so The stabbing thing sure but when you let's just quickly go over body parts the last place you want to be stabbed I would say chest is pretty. Yeah, I would say face is top. Yeah, and then chest I would say anywhere like a blood big vein is.

Yeah. You don't want to be stabbed like that. But your Chess is bad. If that's her first point of entry, yeah. That's a kill shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a kill shot.

That's intense, man. I love that he was like, I continue to date her. Could you imagine you're like the next day you're out of lunch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your wound is bleeding through your polo's got a little fucking blood on it. It looks like the horse shot.

The horse has been shot. So, look, pal, I'm honestly literally, if you could press a button and feel what it felt like for this girl to suck your dick, that's what AI needs to get working on. Because I guarantee you this might be one of the best people in the universe is sucking dick. There's no way you keep dating someone

who stabbed you in the chest and then she fucked 12 guys. And then you're like, well, this doesn't. This is um, okay, here's what I'll tell you. You're dumb as hell. This guy's stupid, obviously, but we've all, you know, I can't really fault him. But he says I'm stupid, he knows what he did. He knows what he did, he knows he listened to his penis.

Yeah, he's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not his blood vessels. Here's what I'll say you do. You don't do it now, but you break up with her, you get her completely out of your life, right? You draw a boundary, like never speak to me again, whatever, whatever, and you have, because here's my guess, she ain't gonna go easily.

This is not a reasonable person. This is somebody who is going to, you know, JP McDade on an earlier episode said, put your dog in an air fryer. This is that, this is that type of lady, okay? So I would just keep the attempted murder charge in your back pocket as a sort of like default or backup almost like, what the thing, like the thing that they have to stay a certain amount away from you, what are they called? Restraining order. You've essentially got a de facto restraining order

in your back pocket. For the Statute of Limitations, though, what is the Statute of Limitation? For attempted murder? Yeah. I'm gonna say it's longer than a couple months. I don't know. I'm not a frat party.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The judge's like, how much cock did she suck? It depends. How ran through was her pussy afterwards. You get a month for every fucking gallon, every quart of cum she swallowed. You get to extend the statute of limitations. That's what I would do.

I would move on with my life, make a clean break from it all, and definitely don't do it retaliatory because you fucked a bunch of other guys. Because guess what? That was always going to happen, and you knew that in the back of your head. You think there's going to end in what? Marriage?

You thought you was going gonna get on the right cocktails and become a wife? No, you knew what this was, pal. So, you know, just keep it in your back pocket, move on, and if a woman ever does, you know, this kind of violence towards you, get out of the relationship a little sooner, I would say. You ever been attacked by a lover?

Uh, yeah. relationship a little sooner I would say you ever been attacked by a lover? Yeah, I would say never with a sharp obnoxious. I would say to this dude, first off, don't move on, do not. This is a situation where you unfollow block numbers,, moove on, do not, move towns, move, get away from this woman. See, I understand that, I don't, I've never, again, I've never been stabbed, but maybe see, and I'm not being, whatever,

you know, I've been the therapy, go to therapy and find out why you see this woman. You thought it was okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like why? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But really, and not when I say block, try to do it in a subtle, like I would tip toe away from this person

and stay away from this person. Do not, I would, the charging thing, I would just get out and get away. Once she gonna do if you charge her and she gets a really good lawyer, how does she get the lawyer? I don't know, but if he presses charges and she somehow,

we're gonna start of it. Right, right. No, exactly. That's a good trigger, some retaliation from her. You just want to get away. And if she shows up and she's shit all over your, smeared her shit all over your Sion TC,

then maybe think about president, but you can't be the one to starting you a fresh round of violence. Exactly, just. But if she does, I think you should, but again, also talk to a lawyer and not us. Call a lawyer and ask him about this. Yeah.

Fuck, all right. Hit us with another one, Elle. yeah call the lawyer and you'll learn how to communicate uh... fuck alright hit us with another one out this good call solid calls yeah the gannies the back he's a series uh... i have a question about the greek law school basically okay i i'm a lawful and it's much the worst place on the face of the fucking earth. It's a factory to make evil drones.

But anyways, the best part is that I have two really good friends. The two of us are super tight. We're like, you know, tricks, you know, and donkey. And anyways, my two friends started fucking. So you're a donkey. And things are going fine. Things are going, you know, just peachy at first. We're all still like, great buds. But the whole time that they were fucking, my, it's a guy and a girl. And the girl was like, hey, listen, I'm still legally married. She's broken up. That's a whole thing to get divorced. So she became so legally married that I really want to be single. Like I cannot be in a formal relationship.

And it's not like, hey, yeah, whatever. But all of, you know, they were constructively dating. They were sleeping over, they were doing all the dating things, partly because we're all such close friends first. In any case, he went back home for the holidays. She fucked somebody else. It broke his heart. And she was like, hey, this is the deal. Like I said that I wanted to be single. This was not exclusive, but I touched a friend. In any case, I was a child of the morning. And he had a right to be be pissed but he was fucking awful to be around uh... who is not hurt

and you know she felt very justified but also that her friends with her and in case you know they can't go over it with a hint of and again and i think that again stuff uh... if you feel like that you have to just suck it up and date because it's kind of what they're doing or like she needs to actually be single and I'm just kind of on these childhood work again. You can help me out.

You know what? What can I do about this fucking situation? All right, I love you. Poor girl. This really is. She's completely re-created her childhood. Yeah. It's insane.

That happens though, right? It totally happens. Over and over again. And and it's she's innocent in The situation so what let me get the street. Yeah, there's three friends hanging out three friends. She was I'm starting to hooking up One and then the woman was Mary is she's married She's about. Yeah, she's about to get the forest. Okay, and she's like hey. This is cool. Yeah, thanks for the cock Yeah, but we're not dating. At the same time, they basically behave like they were dating.

So she fucks somebody else, breaks his heart, and I get that. I also, I see where he's coming from fully, and I see where she's coming from. This is interesting, because this is a nice, a nice kind of swapping in gender roles where we've got the female dirt bag here. Because she pulled the move that a lot of dickhead guys do

myself in the past included, where you're like, hey, come on, I was clear in my words, but all my behavior said something else. You know, like her words could have been clear, but she was like, but his feelings, she still made him feel. And she knows what she knows the deal too. It's like, look're we're close friends

like we've been fucked I stay over all this stuff I would I would put the blame a little bit more on her just a little bit just a pinch because he's kind of like the like you know he's the one who clearly wants to date her he's not fucking anybody else whatever but in her defense she's just probably because she's coming out of America, she just can't. Fully, no, no, don't get me wrong. She's right to want to be single. Yeah. But she also should, she should also know that it's like,

dial it back. She fucked up in doing this with a friend. Yeah. That's, that's her sin. Yes. It's not, doing this with another guy. Yeah. It's like, okay, well, this relationship's over.

I'll never see you again. But she did it with somebody that she's gonna see over and over and over and not only that, our wonderful caller, she's put her in the middle of it because they're all friends and she's in law school, she already wants to kill herself. Best case scenario, she gets a job at a firm that's actively harming the world.

That's what she has to look forward to after her friends have fucked and ruined their nice little nice little fucking little friendship triangle Now can I help you out? I don't know because the to help you out I Kind of feels like we'd have to put you back in your child of divorce zone Where child divorce is always kind of the intermediary, always trying to fix everything. And what I would say, if you were trying to fix things,

is I would go to, I would talk to both of them, I would talk to the divorced friend, and I would say, hey, like, I know you said this, but it is kind of fucked up that you guys are, you know, that you're kind of doing this, and it's like, you should be single. If you wanna be single, go do this with other guys that it doesn't affect my life. It doesn't affect you.

Don't do it with your friends either because it affects your life. And just, you guys should break this off and you should like, you're gonna have to kind of like set a boundary and stick to it. And then you say to the guy, like, hey man, you're gonna keep getting hurt. You should stop, you know, you stop doing this.

And also if you're putting yourself through it, when can you just be aware? Like she was, it sounds like one of the parts that's the biggest pain in the ass is how miserable the dude was after this went down. And then she, she should tell the guy, like this is exactly what I went through as a kid. Yeah. Yeah.

If you, yeah. Like sorry to cut you off when I was good, because what I was gonna say is like, that I would say to have that conversation. That's what you should do to fix it. But that's just falling deeper into being the child of divorce again. Exactly, you're right.

So what you have to do is realize that these are two fucking dumbasses and they're fucking their shit up. they are being the only thing I would say that you should do is instead of trying to fix it, do the thing you didn't do in the divorce because you felt like your family was going to fall apart if you advocated for yourself and say to your friends, hey, this is fucked up, your weird little relationship is putting me in a really tough position. It's not good for either of you, but just speaking for myself, you have to figure it out because it's fucking my shit up. That's what you do to break yourself of the chains of the like child of divorce shit.

It's gonna, you know, and look, here's the hard part, that might fuck everything up. And they might get their feelings hurt or whatever. But that's the only, you have to decide whether you need to put yourself ahead of it or you wanna like try and keep this dynamic going. Because to keep the dynamic going is to stay in the same pattern. In my opinion, again, I'm not a fucking therapist. I just know as a person who has tried like,

people who have behaved like my father, for example, I just don't, I cut them out of my life. Like that's how I, that's what I learned. Whereas like I'm not gonna try and like, you know, appease someone who's kind of like, who's kind of behaves the same way. I'm not gonna try and like make a dysfunctional situation work, which is kind of what I did in my family.

I'm just getting the fuck out of them, right? And I think that's probably, that's, it's been very successful for me personally. Your situation is a lot different. I'm just saying reading it from my lens, that's what I would do. Say what you feel, say how the situation is affecting you, don't worry about them,

because that's kid worrying about their parents all over again. And then, you know, leave it up to them to fucking be good bros. And if they're not good bros, then fuck them until they figure it, it'll probably break up and figure it out. And, you know, now I know what you're saying. You're like, fuck, I shouldn't have to also lose my friends potentially,

because they are sucking and fucking each other. But that's life, baby. What can I tell you? Yeah, that's the part that sucks is she's gonna, the two, unless the guy gets over the fact that she's set up with someone else and then the girl wants what the guy wants. If you're not on the same page, it's gonna be misery.

The three-must-get-tear thing is not going to occur again. Yeah, in fact, it's gonna be misery. The three-must-get-tier thing is not going to occur again. Yeah, in fact, it's gonna be misery. Like that's the plane reality. Unless she... They already fucked it up, I believe. They fucked it up. Like, you're right. You're right.

You can't unsuck the cock. Yeah. You can't unlik the clip. They're wet. They're both wet. And you can't dry them off no matter how many shamwows you throw at them. So I would just say let how you're feeling, let your feelings be known and know that if the relationship gets fucked up, if you're cute little, you know,

Troyka, a friendship gets fucked up, it's not your fault. Like it wasn't your fault. Your dad sucked off that guy in the park and ruined and ruined your family's like you're whatever he did, or she did, your mob did. So, we're rooting for you, we love you, but your friends have fucked you. And don't take it personally if everything falls apart. They made a mistake.

They made a big mistake. And, you know, you just recognize that. It's their fault to blame them, not yourself. But we're rooting for you. Hopefully there's some miracle where it all comes out good next next one LD hey stovie you magnificent bastard big fan of the show big fan of you for a long time. So here's a deal.

I've been seeing this girl, and we've done our thing a few times. Nice, dude. But there's a problem. It's big problem, but it's big enough to finish. Anyway, a little bit about this girl. Perfect body. Just sexy all around but sometimes her breath just is just kickin' dude. It's happened a couple times and I just don't know how uh... without being an asshole i'm you know such a sweet heart uh... good guy bring stuff up like that so

uh... i guess the question is what's the house that i bring it up or should i bring it up at all um... the color brush or teeth or something any advice to be helpful thank you okay

here's what i'm gonna write off the bat. Here's a couple things. You say she's hot as shit, the perfect body, sexy all around. Now, are you the kind of guy who fucks girls that are that hot? Because if you're not, you just found out the reason you get the fucker. You're, you know what I mean?

Like, you maybe, it's like you're mad that you were at the thrift store and the fucking Gucci, the Gucci shirt you found had a little bit, had an ink stain at the bottom. You're an ink stain Gucci shirt kind of guy. You're not a fresh Gucci shirt kind of guy. Are you a 10 with no bad breath? Is that who you are?

I don't think so. So part of it might be, this is the cost of doing business for fucking somebody this hot at whatever you look like. Now, maybe you're hot. I don't know. Maybe you are the kind of guy who can fuck hot girls. And you still would like to get this breath thing figured out.

It's a very tough, that's very, telling somebody how they smell. Always a difficult one. Whether it's body odor, whether it's, you know, pits, genitalia, mouth, ass, whatever it is. No one wants to hear they stink. Um, I don't know. Brad breath.

You could try modeling toothbrushing with her. Like you do with a little kid like, whoa, isn't this cool? Yeah. You're like, hey, I got you this, oh, yo, right, here it is. My job was giving away these sonic hair toothbrushes. I snagged us a couple.

Why don't we try him out? That's what it's, you can't buy it for her, but if it was a giveaway, if it was a raffle, you won. Now we're thinking, oh my God, my job at this silent auction, I just got a free session with the fucking dentist. I just got a free session with the fucking, what's the mouth guys? Is there a specific breath guy?

Ear, nose, and throat doctor? She could have like a, it could be a medical problem, right? Could be a fucked up dead tooth, something like that? Or like there's some, yeah, I don't know, you don't think you can, you could like one time before you sleep together have like one of those breath spray things and just go, and maybe she's like, oh, can I have some of that?

But you can't do that every time. Of course. Every time. Or you could go the other way, start getting, start eating shit, start whatever it is, start you get bad breath. Give her a little fucking taste of her own medicine. Let her say something.

And then you're like, why don't we both work on this? But yeah, I don't, how rockin' are we talkin'? I've never experienced really super bad breath, you know, knock on wood. I've experienced it, but never with someone, like never with someone I'm dating. I've done certain people. Of course.

Yeah, yeah. Cause there's like a medical condition, right? Hallitosis. There are, yeah, hallitosis, exactly. So maybe she has a fucked up, you know, some kind of medical condition. I have known a. Yeah, halotosis, exactly. So maybe she has a fucked up, you know, some kind of medical condition. I have known a hot girl with halotosis, actually, and she was really like, not self-conscious, but she treated it like it was medical thing, and she had these lozenges.

She was like a big, you know, mint breath, you know, dumb person. Yeah. You know, but how to actually bring it up with no joke answer. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. I think you answer about the, I mean, because it's probably beyond British. I'm sure she versus a teeth.

Who knows? This is a, this is a problem. This is, yeah. This is hard to, I feel like this is something you could bring up, but it's hard like, it sounds like they haven't been going out that long. Yeah. So, you know, how are't been going out that long. Yeah. So, you know, how are you gonna bring that to someone you've been seeing for like three months?

You gotta befriend like a fucking mouth doctor and bring him around, or her. Get her on the operating table. Or her. Yeah. And kind of, cause there's something really cool when you see, is there avenue where you see like a doctor just at a bar

and you're like, oh my fucking shoulder hurts and they like, touch it? And they basically give you free doctor vice. Nothing feels better than that. Chris the staff know was a P.T. physical therapist therapist and I have grilled him so many times Yeah, yeah, yeah, so honestly, yeah fucking do a little research I may you if you googled Causes of bad breath women and how to tell so maybe there's a way I

Can't see Tells that maybe there's a way, I can't see, saying that it would just be really hurtful. And then someone embarrassing, because it means it's gone on in the past. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be what I feel like they think back to, but like, oh my God, my breast and bad all this time. Yeah, I wonder, so he's barely, he barely knows her, right?

He says, they've gone out a few times. So this is also tough, because it's a tough thing to bring up early. I would say, you know, there's no, this is a tough, I'm all for direct communication, right? Yeah. But I think you gotta give this something like this a couple months.

Yeah. You gotta think that this, you're actually gonna date for real before you bring this up. Or for the other side, if it just becomes a hook up, I feel like there's something really freeing when two people know they're never gonna date, and you can just kinda speak to each other the way you think you should.

You'd be like, push me like this. Yeah. Yeah. Like, damn, bitch, your breath is kicking. As you can, the recipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pull your dick out, you're like, yeah, I guess, you gotta get that figured out.

Oh. Ah. There is something really nice about those relationships where it's like you both know it's just about sex. It's kinda, it is fun. You can become real friends with people that way, I think. But, but yeah, he's in the weird zone right now. Yeah, even if you're, like I wouldn't wanna tell my friend they have bad breath.

I'll tell my friend they have. Really? If hell this is breath was rocking. I would relish the opportunity. Like the fuck is that? Do you suck your fucking dad's dick? It smells like my ass in here. That's my ass.

Guess I'm eating your head fucked my ass. Damn, that's sometimes going off the top of the dome is a problem. But, and he liked it, but I hated it by the way. I'm like, I just forget it's about my breath. Anyway, good luck buddy. I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Either try our little sonic hair drinks, befriend the doctor, do a little research, or when it, you know, settles a little bit

and it feels like it's something, bring it up gently. And you could even say, I used to have this problem or I knew someone, you know, who had dog grown up. Yeah. Yeah. I might dog. or I knew someone, you know, who had dog grown up. Yeah. I'm my dog. You smell exactly like Chester. After my dog ate his own diarrhea, that's what it tastes like to kiss you.

Be delicate, don't hurt anyone's feelings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fucking, he's fucking with one of those like, what a swimmer puts on his nose. Yeah, yeah. Of course we're, he's fucking you with where there's like what a swimmer puts on his nose He's got the cap on and the goggles All right, the cap can go but that's it hit us with our finale eldest can go but that's it. Hit us with our finale, Eldis. Hey, stop. So during COVID, I was fucking this fat chick. And like, she and I kind of had history, but like, we never liked anything and then go over to both board and like start fucking

it. Now she's like lost one to weight, like she used to cycle in class all the time and I kind of want to start fucking her again but I'm afraid she's out of my league now. What should like we end it on your terms. We're back. What should we do? All right, thank you. She is. Yeah, what What should we do? Alright, thank you. Um, she is. Yeah, one of the things she's so elderly,

she is really elderly. Oh my god, I was fucking, you know, I was fucking this fat bitch because I was constrained to a two-block radius of my house. But now she's lost weight and I value her even in a regular life, like a human being, and I'm thinking even in regular life, like a human being. And I'm thinking maybe I could get pussy from her.

Good. Yeah, dude, look, let this be a lesson to you. First of all, when you guys just stopped, we had a history, but like we never done anything. What's interesting is, it's very possible that this woman feels the exact same way about him. Yeah. Like you think you bestowed your cock upon a plus size girl, but history, but we never did anything. Maybe she was like, there's that dumbass hot mic,

but he's a fucking dickhead. But, or he was the reason that she was like, what am I doing? I gotta get my help for that. I'm get my health Fucking my own this guy for all me. I got a fucking eat vegetables The sparring personnel So yeah dude, I mean she is out of your league. Now, you say we ended on good terms.

Here's the thing, here's the other thing. You don't think she's getting this left and right right now. Yeah, come on, dude. You're the guy who's like, you're trying to get, you're trying to like, star wars, you just realized star wars came out and you haven't even been in line trying to get tickets. You're gonna have to get, you're trying to, like, Star Wars, you just realized Star Wars came out, and you haven't even been in line trying to get tickets. You're gonna have to wait a while,

if you're ever gonna get, you're gonna see fuck, you're not seeing it opening night. A fat person losing weight is not trying to retread dick. You know what I'm saying? If I lost a bunch of weight, maybe I would try and fuck a couple of the insanely hot girls I was lucky enough to fuck. Maybe I'd be like, this is my way to get back in with them, but I'm not. The price is going up. I'm trying to fuck even hotter girls.

Actually, that's not true. I'd fuck a lot of the girls I fucked before, but that's just me. I'm a, I'm a, what can I say? Loyal. I'm a loyal guy. Good guy. I'm a fucking good guy. What can I say? But for a woman who a bunch of fucking dumbasses, like you were like, who ate a bunch of guys' heads, they're like, oh yeah, that cool fat girl I fucked. Not stacey. You know what I mean? Like, she, her price has gone up. She's not, it's, you're gonna, I would avoid this.

You're gonna embarrass yourself or you're gonna, you know, bring this woman out of the progress she's made and bring her back to her old life. Um, now if we had to give you advice on how to go about this, I really don't know, I just think you're fucked. I don't like your verbiage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, I think what you said is exactly right. Yeah. She's not trying to come back through the fucking. When someone does anything, like fitness is a fucking pain in the face. Whatever, anyone improves himself in any way, right? You work on your career, you try and make a lot of money, you try and get ripped, you try and lose weight,

you try and whatever, any progress, you're trying to upgrade everything in your life, including the dumbasses you let fuck you while everyone's watching Tiger King. You know what I mean? Like you're out, bro. That's what I truly, that's what I think. But you know, you don't sound that charming. You don't seem that soft stuff, but who knows?

Like it's hard to give someone advice, if he was like, now, or yeah, I don't know. No, it's true, because he's like, I kinda wanna fuck her again. And he's not like, I think I really like that. And if it's like, I really like that. Yeah, which is not, he's just one of the piece. We just made it, yeah, now. We're giving him more credit than he deserves.

Yeah. And I get, look, to also, I understand, like I want to, I do, I'd like to fuck a lot of the people I fucked before. But if a girl I fucked before gets a new haircut, I want to fuck her. Let alone if she like, you know, lost a bunch of weight or like, got,

you know, got breast implants or something cool or gained a bunch of weight and their titties are looking awesome and their ass is looking fucking right. You know, if a girl makes any kind of change that I had a good sex life with, I just wanna try to fuck that version of her personally. No, I get, or you still have feelings for the person or whatever, exactly.

You know, to me, even if they're not like, but it's not gonna work for you. And honestly, I'm rooting against you. I want better for this woman than to fuck you again. And also, sometimes you recognize that it's not the best for the other person to continue, even if you get whatever. So I think you were right when you said it's not

in her best interest to go back and have sleep with this guy. So just to put some good will into the universe, this dude should just let her ride off into the sunset. Absolutely. Or let her reject you. And really that's like her final test is can she, maybe you owe it to her to try and fuck her. Now that I think about it,

because if she rejects you, then she's really learned something. And if she doesn't, you should it to her to try and fuck her now that I think about it because if she rejects you then She's really learned something and if she doesn't you should not fuck her that would take a lot of that would take that would be Real good Samaritan, but you're not that kind of guy, but you should take the lesson just hit the gym himself He's like I'm gonna upgrade myself Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot. Any product doesn't have time to improve his personality. The level we need him to. He's probably set. He can work on the margin.

Maybe he sent this and thought, wow, I didn't word that as eloquently as I've ever done. It's possible, it's possible. But hey, let us know what happened. Yeah. And whatever, it sounds beautiful. It sounds like a beautiful love story. Yeah. And whatever it sounds beautiful. It sounds like a beautiful love story. Yeah. So, you know, good luck.

We hope you don't succeed for her sake. That's going to do it for the show everyone. Thank you for listening 904 800, staff, subscribe to the Patreon, follow our regular shit. If we're on the Patreon, we don't know yet. We record these a long time in the future and we're not very organized. But go see Phil. Please watch us on Instagram.

Follow him on Instagram. We're gonna have little clips of the beautiful moments. Follow him. You'll see him. And that's gonna do it for us this week guys. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time. Bye. Thank you. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brothers wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around.

The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember

one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb.