Stavvy's World - Rachel Feinstein

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Rachel Feinstein joins the pod to discuss being married to a firefighter, being fundamentally disrespected as an authority figure by her daughter, getting fired from a job in three hours, and more. Rachel and Stav help callers including a woman considering a casual hookup with a 35-year-old virgin and an aspiring foreign relations ambassador considering just doing OnlyFans instead.Subscribe at patreon.com/stavvysworld for exclusive Patreon-only episodes.

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. There it is. Ho-pah! Ho-ho-ho! Welcome everybody to Stavis World. We are back. We can't wait to give you so much advice. We've got Rachel Feinstein, one of my favorites,

one of the best in the biz. It's Feinstein. He has no idea. Come on. Let's go to a caller. Feinstein? I was trying to de-ju it. I was trying.

I was trying. When I walked in, he's like, your name's Rachel Feinstein, right? And he was rubbing together a imaginary point. I was like, we need it. We need the blood of a Jewish mother for a spell. Al, my Albanian producer is working on. He was even say hello to me. He just said Kanye made some good points.

I was like, what? She's actually your buzzer number. That was off record, Rachel, please. I'm trying to stay monetized. I can't people. I can't people. And then I have to have them redo the theme song because when I first walked in,

they were playing the Jews, will not replace. And I was like, stop. That's hurtful. Honestly, that's just our pump up music. You got here early, okay? That's how we get in the zone. Me and L, just do a little channel to anti-semitism to get the blood pumping.

What can we say? We're Greek and Albanian. Can I just say that I walked into Stov's apartment and it looks like the feds just came here. Like you were on breaking bad and and the apology was so light compared to what I walked into.

I was like, oh my. was like oh my he's like He's like oh yeah, I just got back from Buffalo I Just got back from Buffalo like it looks like you've been raped and wrong It's horrible out there the Christmas tree is still. And I feel like I can say this just because I know that you get such a steady stream of ass on the road. So I'm not worried about your confidence level at all because push wise and that is an mathematical form of measurement. That is true. You're doing just fine. But it was insanity. Then he brought me a water that there was four bugs. Okay, they were not bugs. I don't know that they were bugs.

Was it debris? Sure. Was it mystery debris? Yes. Was it probably from the air fryer trap that was also in the dishwasher? It's possible. But please don't say it's bugs. Is it turkey breast or is it turkey burger debris?

Maybe. Yes. We really are. I'll just say there was a cheese steak in my water. debris maybe yes we really are just say there is a cheese steak Turkey please I'm watching my figure So yes maybe maybe this episode will deal with some of my problems folks because we are really struggling over here one weekend on the road And already my life is deteriorated last week. It was like literally last

here one weekend on the road and already my life is deteriorated. Last week it was like literally last. Who do we do? We did Bobby and place was spotless. I was so excited. I gave him a tour with and then you rang the buzzer. And I looked around and I was like, fuck. Like this is what Rachel is nothing wrong in do. I'm a mess.

I know you're not like I'm not running a tight ship. Like there's probably like peanut butter with a key stuck in it in my purse purse right now. Yeah, you have a kid I'm teaming with ADD I lose a debit card every week. I was still like what are you okay? I thought I thought I saw it in your eyes. I was like if I offended Rachel somehow and then I was like Oh, I'm happy. Are you all or is everybody okay? It was a while. Okay, there's some Amazon packet. You know, we'll take a picture. We'll show it on the episode. Yeah, it is brutal out there. But.

I love you though. You'll save here. It's a safe space. And thank you for being so honest with me. I really appreciate it. Well, I know that you don't care. I do. It's not like you're like, if you're an interior designer,

I'd be like, where are you high-end? You know, like you're like if you're an interior designer, I'd be like Very high-end. I know like it is you know it does suck because I do like to impress my friends who come for the first time Because if it were clean you'd be like whoa this is a nice play stuff But it because you because we met when I was a true like I was broke as hell I lived in a want like a windowless room and I wanted to really be like Rachel I've come up with a world talk about how much money I lived in a windowless room and I wanted to really be like Rachel. I've come up in the world. No, I've heard people talk about how much money are being made.

But it's one thing. Like, it's like everybody's like, Sov is making so much money off again. But then I was like, oh, it'll be nice. You'll see the apartment. You'll be like, yeah, good for Sov and then it was a crime scene. That's why it's so funny that you live like this. Otherwise, it's just poor. And I would this. Otherwise, if you were just poor,

then I would feel like I would be a twat to trash it. But I've heard that you are like teaming with money. That's what makes it so funny. Yeah. It's like a story about like a celebrity that didn't have to live that way, but chose to because they were so like creatively hair-brain.

Right, right, rightined right right right right right yep yeah I just I did walk in here and I was like generational well yeah that's what we're trying to channel he was knighted is Greek diner money is Greek generational diner money um but yes thank you for coming to my apartment even though though it's not. Thank you for having. Those are the cleanest that's ever been. We're excited. 904 800 stop folks, we're going to get to your questions. Rachel, she's got a great perspective.

You're going to love hearing from her. But first we're going to get to know, we're just going to chat a little bit. You know, clearly you're going through some kind of existential crisis. You're within one minute. So it was funny because while we were sitting here, you're like, am I the fattest ugly bitch of all time? It's like you come in, or you look great. I mean, I'll just both look like shit.

Maybe me a little more, I'll just look a little more put together. I'll give that to you. You look okay today. And Rachel just comes in here. And she's like, so am I like disgusting? Am I like a dog? I just, you took part in the roast. Is that what I would? I did. Berk Krascher roast, which was really fun.

Yeah. It sounds like it was. Yes. Zach, Zach Amiko was writing for it. And he wrote a few of the jokes about me. I can't remember how many of them made it. But he told me one just like you know casually He was like oh here's the one I had for you You know and so I'm getting ready to maybe like have a slightly strained laugh as I find a new learning new insecurity And he's like Rachel and it was so funny and so it hurts so bad

He was like Rachel's a mom now, so she wrote it, children's book. It's about herself. And it's called The Dog That Saved Hanukkah. And I was like, as I'm saying, goodbye to him. And then I was like, just throbbing with self-hatred. I was like, have I not known? Have I just been the last to the party

that I've been the dog that saved Hanukkah all these years? I would call it like a high school friend. I was like really spiraling. I'm like am I just putting on lipstick and everybody else knows that I'm a pig? Like is it just over? It's been a rap for a long time and I'm sitting there painting myself like a delirious fucking loon, you know? I was like I just was sure that I been, everybody thinks I'm just like crunching on snacking on lithium all day, and just violently ugly, but I just been like putting a lot of bruise on this, you know, that one hurt and it was so good.

Like I wanna read that book, the dog that's hypnotic, I wanna learn about that dog's adventure. It could, yeah, it could be good. That's what made it so painful. You should write it, you should do it. Yeah, I turn this, turn this L into a victory. Make this money for your daughter. It's just, it's like a dog, it's like a basset house

and like make up on, doing comedy. It's just, yeah, dog gonna dress. It's like a month on the view. Like in there she is. I love the Nora. I love the Nora. Yeah. After anti-Semitic remarks were hurled,

that this comedian, she turned it into a positive for the community. You could totally flip it and Barry's at the time, like, he's a toxic white male. He called me a, so funny. So funny. He's the best. It was such a good joke.

I'm just hilarious. That's why I don't think that he was aware that I was going to look at myself in a whole new way. But I have just been, have you been like looks insecure? Is that a thing? I mean, I'm like, you know, a lot of women, yeah, I'm just a woman in America. Just pulsing with some picture.

Yeah, I just catch like the side of my face and I'm like, just stop it. Leave people alone. Just fucking stop. It's hostile. Being a woman, you're gross. Just fucking stop. It's hostile. Being a woman in your cross. It's horrible. It is.

You look great. You look incredible. You walked in here, I was like, wow, Rachel, like, actually, looks nice for this podcast, this podcast is bullshit. She looks great for it. And then you're over here like, I think I should kill myself. I think I should make my child an orphan, because I'm ugly. The problem a lot of it is the comments.

Like I read the comments. You can't read the comments. You can't read the fucking comments. Hey guys, do Rachel a favor. In the comments, talk about ways you'd like to have sex with her. Yeah. Make her feel really good. I welcome that.

Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. If you go on Instagram live, it's like so confusing, so fast. Like it'll be like one girl that's just like, you know, I really respect strong women in comedy. How did you first realize that you had it? And the next one is like, you like,

sissor bitch, you know? Oh, thanks, you know. And then the next one will be like, your arms are fatter than last week. I'm like someone's cracking my arm fat. Like, how much was just keep breathing after this? There's such an emotional. That was the worst.

Honestly, of all of them, that's the worst one I've heard. But I'm your only friend in the last week. It's just like, it's over. Just why continue? And then there's a guy named Mr. Twatt Waffles that hates me. And he's like, Twatt Waffles. You can't be given Twatt Waffles this kind of power, right? I've got so much on my past.

I've got to actually, I've absolutely encouraged people to go out and troll and make a name for yourself. Because fucking Mr. Twatt Waffles, then. I've been really trying to get him out there. And there's guys that argue with Mr. Twatt Waffles and stick up for me. Yes. And then I think they must end up becoming friends at taking vacations together.

Because they'll argue for me. And I'd be like, yo, Twatt Waffles lay off or whatever. This guy, Johnny Boy, 69, that's it. So. So. That's awesome. You're fostering a real growing community of guys

of reply guys in your comments. That's really nice. It's funny because like all the good guys you don't even know their names with Mr. Twattwap. The bad boy. He's the one to get your attention. Here I am. Just lasting myself every night. He comes in leather jacket motorcycle. You fat pig. Oh, jeez, Mr. Twatt waffles Would you like to see your mother tonight? I think I met the man on Mary Yes, his name is Mr. Twatt waffles and he looks at me real special like on the YouTube

That's that is hilarious. Well you look great, you're crazy if you think, if those are your insecurities. Let's talk about your personality. I think that's the real problem. No joke, you're great. I'm a big fan, you're hilarious. When was the first, I mean, this is just like, was it like, did you have like a parents

that made you insecure about your loves? Did you have like, who was the first person that made you really? That's just like one of many insecurities. Like I would say, I mean, I hate myself probably as much as the next broad that's on camera, you know, but, but my, I was scanned a lot as a child. They always thought there's something wrong with me

and they were all scanning, yeah. Like what? Like your brain. Brains cans, brains cans. So you're like, I- Like suction cups, I will put you on a text right with my brothers. I'm not lying on my brain.

That's incredible. Because they were just like, I would just go to school and they were just like, she won't learn anything. She's just as dumb as a goddamn rock. I just wouldn't focus or learn. And I came from like intellectual Jews. Like they were just like, what's going wrong? Like they were screaming, are you? You grew up around here, would you grow up?

I grew up in Maryland. My dad was like, we talked about this. He was civil rights there. And like, you know, he skips you, still spring, Bethesda? Yeah, I went to high school in Silver Spring at this school called Thornton Friends. I went to public school for many years, but I was the only kid in my family that they switched into this private school because I was not going to graduate.

I went and ran and I interviewed all these different private schools and they were all like, no, absolutely not going get her away from the building. Many were like not passing the parking lot. And then I finally my mom was like, we got you in this place called Thornton Friends. And I was like, I got into a school, they want me. And then I found out later it was like a last resort kind of deal.

It was like Juvie, you know. And everybody called it Stupor. It was Stupor. It was like where they sent the drug addicts and the packets. So you were so dumb as a child that it equaled a drug addicted 12 year old. Just your natural brain is what would happen

to a normal kid who started doing heroin at nine. For you. Right in D.D. That's wild. You must have had some kind of crazy learning disability, right? Because you're not dumb. I'm like teeming with A.D.D. Like I used to go to school and my hair was just like wet dripping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't, people at school would call me wet back. I thought they were using like racial slurs. And they were just like, no, they were trying to give me like a heads up. I was dripping. Yeah, and I was just, I didn't want to listen. Like I would try. I was just trying to listen. I'm like, I can't do it.

Yeah, I just, just zoning out. What was going on? You know when people at school we'd all be talking and they'd be like, I don't know what's happening in that class. I'm like, no, I really, I don't know what that class is about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would get 20% and 18%.

I was a detention so much. I had like a detention dance. Like I don't know my detention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have, yeah. What would you do? Well, did you have one subject that you did like or that spoke to you or?

It's funny. I saw actually, that's really where you said that because I read this, this like old, one of my many old report cards when I was home over Hanukkah and over the dog would say Hanukkah. Having some kibble. And I was reading like some of the comments. Sharing a big milkbone with mom.

When I was shitting off the sidewalk. No, but I was home and I was reading an old report card and they were like, it was actually no, it was like an assessment of me during some testing that they did and it was so sad because it was like Rachel really wanted to, it was very concerned about her score and the test and how she was doing to the point that she stopped many times to ask if she was doing the wrong thing. Oh, what a comic, you know what I mean? Just what a comic. Yes, she kept asking and interrupting as I said that was doing the wrong thing. Ooh, what a comic, you know what I mean? Just what a comic.

Yes, she kept asking and interrupting, as I said, that we had the 80 more questions to go. Oh my God. And then it was like, there was, she struggled with the, the kept using the word struggle. Like clearly this lady was gentle and she saw I was broken. She's like, she struggled with this section, that section, every other section.

And then they said, she did perk up in a discussion of humor and how to make people laugh. And it was like in fourth grade or something. That was like the one thing I could do. I wanted to be one of those people that was about to do this or that, but I made this noble decision. Of course. But there was nothing.

They begged you to be a doctor, but it would be like a state-cardin situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In a crumbling estate. That's what, but probably, okay, to make you feel a little better, it sounds like your parents probably reacted the worst way possible to a kid who's probably

a little bit of a slow learner. Like you're probably a slow slow or a late bloomer, but your parents were like, oh, she can't read it at eighth grade level, is she retarded? And then we better get her to the doctor fast. And then you think you're fucked. You think now there's pressure.

And literally every time you try and learn in the back of your head, you're like, if I don't do good, mom and dad will send me to an institute. You know, over her, they're arguing what's the middle of the night and my mom was like, she's not normal, Howard! Shit!

That's just not normal! Yeah, like that's so, I bet you were just a nice little happy-go-lucky kid who had like, you know, dyslexia or something. And your mom is just like... They just, I mean... You have older, I have an older brother and a younger brother. Yeah. And they're both, they both got regular brains.

I was ready to figure out how you could compose that subject. I wanted to give you some space to figure it out. And they're both like not as dumb as you. Yeah, they're both like, they did okay. They had their struggle, but there weren't like, with me it was like, you know, D's F's. I mean, like a lot of mean I just didn't do on school

I don't think that I was an all-around idiot. I just think that I was bad at school and I wouldn't focus You know, but they I mean they were like you know They were very liberal in other ways. They were just like worry. They were yeah They were very for hyper focus. I'm worried. I think probably they weren't dealing with like their own problem So I was the kid that everybody was just like, what in the fall? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with Rachel. Oh, that makes sense. You were the you were the lightning rod for every problem. The family. That's what my therapist told me in high school. Yeah, look at that. You used to listen to me like this. Just kind of.

Nestle on couch and kind of general. Yeah. And Dr. Costiano said. and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife and a knife You were like, what's that? He was like, you were the symptom bearer, he said. He was like, you absorbed all the problems of the family. So what's up with your focus was on you. Are your parents still together? They're still together, yeah. And they're really like accepting. And there was like no bad thing that happened to me. They were just like frantic about me.

It's really interesting where sometimes being like too present is the problem. Like being truly if you had just, if they had just chilled out for a second, you'd probably be fine. If they paid less attention to my breathing patterns while I was sleeping. LAUGHTER

No, the scans were not going. Yes, the scans are crazy. And the scans were a lot. I had, I had one time. So there was, there was like a, in our elementary school, they started doing some construction and I, what happened is I had allergy, like I happened to have allergies and I was coughing a lot

but I had like a coughing fit and I got to get sent home. I was in like second or third grade. So then I pretty much pretended to have some kind of like allergy to the construction that was going on, so that I would miss school and then, but my mom was so scared that she took me to all these specialists and I just keep the, I just had to keep the like the face of the charade. The charade up the whole time.

So we kind of had flip sides where it's like, you were forced to go through all these specialists. And I was just like, and I literally, there were points where I just started pretending I had to call. Wait, because you didn't want to go to school at all? I just didn't want to, I was like, I didn't even mind school, but I was like, wait, this got me off school

and I go watch fucking prices, right? So there was like six months of my third, I think you're already, It's so creative stuff. I think you're already left. Me and I'll just grew up together, by the way. He's my, yeah, that's what was he like? I mean, can you answer that?

Not that different. Yeah, I agree. We've always been confident. I feel like you're having a good time. He's like, you've always been confident. Yeah, I was, I was like that always, was he always just like, hey, what's up? He was confident,

and now Metchiskos a little more like, you know, musical theater kind of. Yeah, yeah, relax. Musical theater. You can have said regular theater, motherfucker. I never sang. Played too. But you did use to sing.

I was right, I did sing. I did, I did sing. Honestly, you know what, you're right. I was one of those fucking nerds. What's stuff like always just crushing pus? No. No, no, no. There's a latent life.

I guess it's hard to crush plus when you're 12 yeah I'm sure you're crushed plus no even in high school in college we weren't for neither first one neither one of us was so let's relax out this I think I had like a my confidence was like in like the places where I had seen results, like school, sports, I was funny so socially it wasn't an issue, but there is something, I think I had maxed out confidence, but I didn't understand how to take that conf,

but so you know what it was, I didn't understand being nervous around a social interaction. So when you got girls in the mix and it was like, I care if they reject me, I didn't care about anything else socially, I was supremely confident. So then once I felt that anxiety, I didn't know what to do with it and freaked me out,

and I just blew it every time like, with a girl, you know, with a girl, because it was like, I didn't understand what to do with the feeling of being scared of an interaction. It's hard, yeah. So it took until college, because in high school, and it's like, in hindsight, sure, could I have been like, I could have probably been like, let's go, like, oh my God, I went out with this girl, and we were just like hanging out in my car for like three hours, where

it was like, we went on a date, it went great, we smoked, we, and- How are you? I was like, 16. Are you kidding, kisser? That's what I'm saying. Like, I was like, I could get to the point. I could get to the point where a girl clearly

would have hooked up with me. Probably in therapy right now. And I guess I just never felt feminine. And maybe he just wasn't attracted to me. It doesn't mean I'm wrong. Right, right, right. And it was even like we were looking for a secluded spot. We both agreed.

Like, oh, we should go somewhere. And then we just parked there. And I was like, so do you like knight at the rocks, Barry? It's happening. Now, I'm not thinking about this kind of happening to me. It's the same thing because I was really into skateboarding and skateboarders. A lot of them seem like they would be comedians

because they're just funny and super dry and probably many of them are on this back house. Mentally ill, on drugs. Yeah, my type. Just kind of like remote emotionally. I want you to just like left the country emotional. Yes, full desert. So like, I remember my friends all we all snuck out

in the middle of the night and my friend was like blowing some guy in the woods and I was like sitting on this tennis court with this guy and my like Jason Lee skateboard. And I'm like just sitting there and like, I was always been pretty like prude, you know, like I just like made out with somebody in the end of it. But I like was just like wanted him to kiss me or something.

And we sat, we talked for like two hours, didn't even try to touch my body. And then I just took off my dumb sweatshirt, which was probably said like Santa Cruz on it, it was the least central thing I've ever been wearing. And I just sat there in this red bra sitting on a skateboard. I was just like sitting next to him. You pulled some titties on, he did. I just put, I just sat there with my bra. And I was just like sitting next to him. You pulled Chintidys down, he didn't do anything.

I just sat there with my bra and we both just kept talking for another hour or so until the sky fully came. And then my friend came out of the hood and was like, woo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I just put my sweatshirt back on. And I was like, good to see you.

And he was like solid a hand. Well, see ya, you know, do you finger guns? I think if someone had taken their shirt off, I would have taken that cue. In fact, the only thing I would like to think, the only times I did hook up in high school whereas when it was like, you know, a real take charge kind of gal.

Yeah. So there was like a, just, just a, you know, at the Greek festival, that's a big time where everybody, everybody gets drunk as fuck at the Greek festival, like a child, you know, that's the first place in the basement of your church. And you guys grew up around here. No, we grew up in Baltimore.

In Baltimore, you said that first time. Yeah, I remember Maryland too. And yeah, we got the Maryland Connect. And yeah, the only time was when these girls just completely would take charge and they were just one They were just on the show. Yeah, and they just you know, and I was like oh, I got this I know what to do here once we get that going I just when that would happen would you guys like recap on the way home and just go through all the detail? You let everybody know exactly what happened. Oh, yeah, absolutely

Although the first time so I was so the first time, so I was, so the first time that ever happened at the Greek festival, I also was black out on the verge of like alcohol poisoning drunk, because it was like the first time you get booze, I'm like 14 or 15. And so I'm making out with this girl and it's the church. It's literally our church. And the one, so we try and find an alcove, and there's like the church offices. And it's like, oh, no one's in the office. Everyone's like, at the party, you're gone. And because it was the Greek festival,

it turns out they were in the office, they were counting all the money, because it's the biggest they wanna make the deposits that day. So I am making out, I'm two children are making out, and I'm grabbing, I'm grabbing this girl's tits, and just all these old greet guys and suits come out and just walk past us

and they're all, they're all bros, they're not gonna blow my spot up, you know what I mean? But it was still like, They're gonna help you close. It kind of fucked the vibes up. I can see that. Yeah. And then another time, a different girl who was just like,

good to get, you know, ready to go, right? But it was one of those parties in high school where there's three girls in 14 guys so it's like pussy musical chairs You have three guys who are pumped and eleven that are like fuck that guy Yeah, so I was selected by a girl and I'm literally I've breasted my mouth for the first time in my life It's the best moment in my life. You're worth it And thank you so much.

And then, but then one of the guys who didn't get to hook up was my ride home. And we're completely across town. And this is- He's like backed up like- No, I get like a- Yeah, I get like a- Yo, stop! Greg's leaving!

And I was like, what? And this is like- There's no Uber, I have no money. This is probably literally- Damn, literally's no Uber, I have no money. Is this six, you know, this is probably literally, damn, literally 15 years ago, 16 years ago. I have no way to get, I don't know how to fucking use the buses and the bus system. Like it's, what, I have no way to get home.

Your hum-lash at best. So I had to stop hooking up, I was going to fuck for the first time in my life. And I had to stop to get home. And I had to chase the guys. I'm like putting my clothes on dick hard as hell Chasing him to get to get your eyes. Did you ever see her again? We went to high school together I'm gonna insert yourself inside never I've never was able to get inside. I think she had a boy She was we'll say a loose gal Great

Crunch some numbers. You're like, we've decided. In the classics, sex. In the classics, maybe, you know, she didn't take... We'll not call her a godless horse. We're tasteful over here. Both of the girls I'm describing both had boyfriends, actually. That's why, when I say take charge kind of gout, which one is...

Terrorist. Yeah, truly. Absolutely. True heroes. If I had met a couple more Celets in high school, my life would be, I wouldn't decommity. If a girl fucked me when I was 16, I would be like, I would just be running a nice family business. I'd be, what's today, Monday?

I'd be picking up my son from school right now. Yeah, you sure. I'd have, my hair would be shaved, I'd have no dumb, ironic facial hair. I'd be trying to kind of grocery getter. Yeah, there would be no come town, no come town. No, no, I'd be in a Nissan Marano. Yeah. I'd be in a Nissan Marano trying to find a size four soccer cleats for that weekend.

I am so jealous of those people, like those people, I'll see these people on date nights in my shows. And I've never been as as throbbingly lonely as I am. Just like, you know, I remember one time just being freshly dumped. It was just like New Year's Eve and like Toledo or something. Yeah. Just some, I was like just pulsing with loneliness. Onstage lost my luggage. I had to wear the club owners, you know, university of whatever city I was in sweatshirt. And I'm like, 10, 9, hang myself, you know, like fucking dying.

Oh, those are the worst. Freshly dumped. Yeah. And just these couples, it just kind of, I remember this guy just kind of rubbing his wife's knee in the front row. And they were really enjoying themselves too. And I'm like, I'm that. I'm just this lubricant for men to love their wife.

Yeah. They're like, we're just like, well, she was fun for a wrong evening. Like, thank God I have a lady at home. Like, I don't run for me enough. That's what I do to men. I just like, I make them love their wives more. They're like, you know what, it could be worse. And I always feel like that.

Like, I'm so jealous of those people that just they get a new car. And that's all they want to talk about. The new car. Like we got a car. I remember like dating a guy and we went, I went to his family's house. Like we had to take a walk around the brother's car.

We talked about it for like 40 minutes. I was like just dying of boredom. I was like, no, we can't. There couldn't be any more questions to ask about a Subaru. Yeah. And I was like, that's always been the guys that I've did it. Like they never have a follow up question for me. I'm like, they're just like, so what made you decide

not the Mazda, you know? I just played Anne Frank in this like, bro, I'm like using my own plugging my own credits. And I was like, no follow up questions. They're just like, but shrimps on salad, BJs. I'm like, that's on salad BJ's You know I was thinking the other day. I love you know what I love mango the fruit I love it sweet. It's delicious and I was eating a piece of mango pre-cut from a beautiful market here You know how a story has some beautiful fruit markets?

Absolutely That was my move. I would get a little fruit salad. You know many times I've gotten sucked off being like this actually One time I don't have to say I'm gonna come back for some fruit salad and I thought it was smooth And then some girl after she fucking was like that was so weird you asked me to come over for a fruit salad I was like, I don't know. I wasn't dry and I didn't I wasn't drinking at the time Well, they say mangoes are an effort Dziak. Well, here's the thing I was like, I don't know. I wasn't drunk. I didn't, I wasn't drinking at the time. Well, they say mangoes are an effort, DGX.

Well, here's the thing. Thank you for bringing me back on point because I was eating the mango. And I've oftentimes I've had mango and gotten pussy right afterwards. And I was thinking to myself, what if this mango made my dick hard? You know?

I was like, now that would be something else. That'd be awesome. And I am happy to report that there is a new kid in the game. You know I'm a dick pill evangelist, eldest. You know I'm an ED. I've tried them all from the gas stations to other other services. Mango Rx now has a new ED pill that is game-changing, okay? Really? Taste like mango, my friend. Delicious, just like it. And they have a nice proprietary, because like I said, I've tried them all, Eld.

They got a new proprietary formula that combines the active ingredients in Seattle and Viagra with oxytocin known as the love hormone. I've never heard of oxytocin before my life, but let me tell you this, made my dick harder than ever. We're talking, zwing! You know when they take out a sword and it goes, zing!

Yeah. That's how I felt putting my dick out of the condom. It was like unsheathing my hardcock. It was pure metal after I had some mango Rx. Shining in the light. Yes. One little gleam. One little gleam when I turn my dick a little bit. Mango Rx tastes good and makes your dick hard like metal folks. You heard it here first. I don't know. Yeah. I, cause like I said, I've done a bunch of them. And they also have an amino acid that helps increase blood flow.

They got all kinds of science in here. They're making them taste delicious. I am so happy. It is, it was the goal of this podcast. Truly, we sort of made a podcast to discover and work with the new innovators on the cutting edge of the heart making your dick hard Science in the field right people who have a beautiful goal. You here's their mission make America hard again, eldest They have you know, let's get can we get? Fucking idiot there you go. Sorry We tried to give it the applause it deserved, but some asshole wasn't ready to go and Look make America hard again. I think on what whatever side of the aisle you're on, conservative, liberal, leftist,

centrist, we could all use a harder dick. Maybe if we busted more with harder dicks, all this division in the world would go away, all this. I think this is such a good product, eldest. I think you might have to change your long standing opinion on ED medication in general, because look, here's the thing about my ego, Oryx. You might not need it, but you're going to want it, pal. All right?

I know I've spoken about it a lot, but I am excited to try this one. Yes. A big part of that is the dissolving factor. Quick, works within 10 minutes, my friend. The dissolving factor and the yummy taste do make me very impressed. You see me take edible as well. That's sure, just because you wanted a little dummy.

I'm not sure of a snack, because that's so much why I had to get high as well. I'm saying you take weed adibles. I'm saying you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself, because you wanted a momentary snack. I've seen you take fiber adibles where you're shitting yourself because you wanted a momentary, a momentary snack. I've seen you take thumbs on an empty stomach just because you wanted the taste and that's how we got elders through the door here with mango Rx. It's easy folks. Buying mango, buying mango is so easy. Just go to mango rx.com

complete a short and secure telemedicine visit, you're in your out, and mango can be shipped discreetly straight to your door. The telemedicine visit is over in literally a matter of minutes, it's nothing. Quick and easy, be sure to use code, stav20 to save 20% off your first order, you and your partner are gonna love it. That goes double for you, LD. I can't wait.

I have a big family, and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious, get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms,

and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family, whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Yeah.

But I jealous of that. I want the regular ass. Yeah. Well, you've got a version of that now, right? You got a nice family. I'm married to a firefighter, so he's like, who's great, I love your husband. He's just fun loving God, but he's not like, I wouldn't say they're normal. No, that's true. Firefighter, yeah. The firefighters, they do generally,

like they run a little dumb, because you're not, I have a joke about that, but you're not supposed to like have man sleepovers for half your life. Yeah, yeah, that is true. You're not a regular person when it's like, you gotta be a little, first of all, you gotta be a little dumb to be like,

yeah, I'll risk my life. They're like brilliant and dumb emotionally. Like he has memorized them inside of every building in this city, like he could look at, go into a building because they love buildings because they have to know the inside of them. Right, right, right. So they can like, no, they can,

they have to know in the dark how to get through. Like a big Oh, this is a duplex down like that's what he says in every walk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, what was the roof like? I'm like, I don't know. I got a T.J. Max. Yeah. When he asked me about my days like so I was he will stop and read one of those big plaques in front of like an industrial building. I'm like who could ever give a fall? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know just be like the plans. He wants to know how many entrances.

Yes, and he's sincere in a way that's like, like he wants to get to the bottom of things. Like when we visit an area, he's like, oh, looks like the tower really is. The tallest tower in the hands. He's like, it's a tower. He talks some shit about comics. You're really right because they don't keep comics.

One thing that's brutal is like, you don't keep a regular person's hours. Like you're up all night. It's, you're never on a schedule. You, you know, you, like you said, you spend a lot of your time just kind of providing entertainment and putting out some like positive energy that other people are then gonna use to have a wonderful night

and then you're gonna go alone in a hotel. It's a weird lonely thing. Yeah, yeah. Whereas firefighters, it's like they don't, they don't keep regular hours. There's, and like just with comics, something's wrong with you to want to be a comedian, right? A regular person who accepts positive feedback in the normal amount. They don't need to like freebase it by killing for an hour. Freebase it is great. You know what I mean? That's what we're doing. Free base, you get stuff. We're trying to learn junkies. We have a lot in common with firemen

except that we're the real heroes. But like they both work crazy hours. Didn't give a shit if I was like, working on Christmas and every other guy, it's like, oh, it's fun for a minute that you do stand up and that. What the fuck? What are we gonna hang out with?

We can't hang out anymore. Yeah, he isn't care because they're the same they work all kinds of weird hours that might work on all the holidays everything they all have this one click of people that understand them the way nobody else says that firehouse kitchen is like walking up to the table at the comedy seller like the energy the chemicals change in the room yeah yeah yeah yeah which is what we call civilians well weheads. Let's stop talking about a friend of our people. Okay, I'm not doing civilians. There's nothing worse than that.

That you should face out if you do that. Yeah, I guess. It's really embarrassing. We're not, they're not civilians. But we'll say that in the comedy-style where we're like, oh, is this civilian, came something like a civilian can't do? That's discussed.

I can't support saying civilian. That has to go. I was also shameful that way. It really is. Think about it for one second what you just said it's like yeah, yeah, this civilian this doctor We really are it's crazy I had an argument with my husband. We were on our way to our honeymoon and I was like Um, do you want I was like I'm not giving up the windows seat And I was like that I'm not giving up the window seat. And I was like, that's like the ultimate sacrifice.

It's not the ultimate sacrifice. It's like the ultimate sacrifice is loose in your life. I'm like, no, it's the window seat. It's like cross country flying. I'm trying. But the one thing they have that we don't is that they get to just chill in the firehouse together. Like that, if there was a way for, like,

we could- But we should get to do that at like the comedy cell or like, sitting in a comedy cell. But not as much as I wish we could. Even that is like, when you're really doing it, you're kind of like, I'll stay after. You should be home, right? Yeah, he- They get to as part of the job, hang out. That's part of the job.

I know, so. Like we just did, like, it's fun because when you're young, you go on those things with like four comics of pile on a car and you'll go to a different city and you'll do one night or that's always fun. I remember the first time we really, like we had met before but we actually hung out was when we did that horrible gig in Long Island. When you were getting ready for your special and I was getting ready to tape for the half hour, which got postponed, because the pandemic or whatever,

but we were both working on stuff. And so we kind of took this last minute gig on Long Island and it was the most atrocious, it was like a fundraiser for, what was it like? Children's cancer, somebody died. Violently bombed. We ate our nuts for the whole time. We were laughing in the car we bombed so bad.

Well, the guy who- We bombed where like we had to get out of the building. And we didn't say there, we couldn't have a snack. We needed to get out safety. We needed to evacuate. Because both of us, I think stupidly, we're like, no, we came here to work on something. So we tried to just stick to our jokes,

but it's like some fucking guy in a banana costume was the MC. That's right. It was some guy who was like doing banana puns and then being like, and also let's not forget why we're here, children are dead. We're children are dying, here's some pics. And by the way, here's some pictures

of their crush-up child, and pictures of kids with kids. And then I was like, hey, how about my mom, Gary, Gary? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just gonna do voices. I'm gonna talk about eating ass. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Oh, they really hated it. It was fun. The car ride was great. Oh, we had so much fun. I love that. I love a road trip. I love just talking to a road trip. I love talking to a road trip. I always prefer to drive than to fly.

If it's four hours or under, what do you know what I mean? Like to drive. But it gets a little dicey. Five is a little much. Especially if you have the show that day. We almost drove to Buffalo, but we were like, fuck it, we'll.

I know, I almost drove to Buffalo too. That went to a little too far. I was like, okay. Because any traffic, you're fucked. You're fucked. Any traffic, it becomes nine hours somehow. Yeah. Everything goes great at six, and it never goes great.

Yeah, I mean, but that hang is the best, and they get to do that all the time. And then, and they also love the fires, the firemen. And they get pissed when they don't get to go to the fires. And he was pissed when he moved from men men from Brooklyn to Manhattan, you know, and I'm like why the Manhattan he's like, that's exciting. He's like, no, no good jobs. Don't be sprinklers. That's too safe, man. Welcome Burns. Welcome to Brooklyn. Welcome to Brooklyn. Welcome to Brooklyn. We got good jobs for poppin' off there. Lazy not.

That's awesome. Yeah, they love the boys. They love, they love to control the boys. That is, that is fucking hilarious. But yeah, you got, even though it's not the traditional setup, it's a comedian and a firefighter, you still got some version of a regular life. You got a kid, you just cute as hell. I love the, it's good.

We got a little girl named Frankie. Yeah. Great name for, a little hell. I love the girl name. Frankie. Yeah. Great name for a little girl. Frankie. She's funny. I mean, she just doesn't believe in me as an authority figure. So I've been trying to like potty trainer yesterday. And then I was like, Frankie, I'm serious. You know, I was like, if you sit on the pot, you get a sticker and just just try to sit

on it. As you can get a sticker and a little Hershey kiss. And I go, I'm serious. the pot, you get a sticker and just try to sit on it. As you can get a sticker and a little hers she gets and I go, I'm serious. She goes, you're not serious. I'm just like, oh, she's right. She just ran right through you. Yeah, she's like, too, she goes, you're not serious. I'm not like, she's right.

I'm cheating. Even my daughter knows, my two-year-old daughter knows, I'm doing like an impression of an adult. Right. To have some power over her. She's like, isn't it huge? Yeah. She's like, I've seen your clips.

She's like, you do like hand job shows. Yeah. I'm not laying down in laws here. Yeah. That is what, yeah, I mean, the idea that having to any of my friends being parents is so crazy to me. It is still so funny. Because like, when Pete says something, she's like,

oh, me, she like will headbutt me at like two in the morning. Not only does she get out of her bed and like come into our bed every night, I'm like, Frankie, you need to be in your bed and she's like, you? No, I don't. Then she gave me a fucking head, she like does Jiu Jitsu on me.

It's like four in the morning. She's like, come on, bitch. She's like, you've morning. Yeah. She's like, come on, bitch. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, you've been doing shot. I'm like, no. Yeah. I mean, it's all now. Yeah. It's definitely, it sounds like it's going to be a way till your father gets home situation with her. You're never, you're never doing any punishments. Yeah. I mean, I try, but she doesn't really, yeah. I mean, she's, she's like, does faces all the time. She just says like, in the mirror doing like silly stuff. And she speaks Spanish.

And neither of us speaks Spanish at all. Wait, wow. My mother-in-law is Colombian. Oh, okay. I was like, all right, you're going to have to explain that one. Yeah, we have a two-year-old that reads right through me and picks up languages. You have like, Damian, you have a little demon child.

Or take care, they always speak Spanish. And I was like, oh, it's great. demon child. Take care, they always be Spanish. And I was like, oh, it's great, she'll be fluent. But they always speak Spanish and her daycare. But I didn't realize how hilarious that was gonna be. Because we don't know what she's saying to us. That is awesome. You raised a baby that's smarter than you. Yeah, she says, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that. Yeah, she gets to discuss it and she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, she gets discussed in Michigan because I say, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is hilarious to be bested by your, your timely child, starting already at two years old. Yeah, absolutely. Sounds like you're toast. I have to like try to like talk to the other mothers and stuff

and I went to this like, I went to like a toddler, tumbling class and all the kids were like sitting down and like the mothers, I went to a toddler tumbling class. And all the kids were sitting down and the mothers, which is this ethereal Brooklyn moms, it's just like the tongue-but-their beating schedules and whatever. My kid is like, piece, she's just sitting in that circle, she wants to know part of that circle. They're just sitting there with their one year old.

And Frank isn't care, just like, yeah, I'm going over there, you know, and I'm trying to like, you know, wrangle her and bring her back to the circle. So I'm trying to make jokes because I figured that's what you do. I was like, yeah, I can cut a hole in the team here. No one makes eye-cats again. He's just like, avoid me. That's a deep bomb. Yeah, I'm a real tough one. That's a real tough one. A bomb at Tumbling class. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I call my brother. I was like, what's she won't sit in that circle? He's like, one of my kids was a circle sitter. The other one was like, don't worry. Sometimes they just don't want to sit in that circle.

Should there be a circle sitting? And then I talked to a few more friends and they were like, do you always bring her? And I'm like, yeah, they're like, it's you. And I'm like, fuck, it's me. She's like, yeah, because she already doesn't take you that seriously. I was like, God, give it. Because I called her daycare. I'm like, so what because she already doesn't take you that serious way. That's like, God damn it.

Because I called her daycare. I'm like, so what do you deal with it? They're like, she doesn't do that with that. She listens to us. She's like, yeah, I don't, it's for her. Have you tried speaking to her in Spanish? It's like, when you get a adopted dog and you don't want to listen and then you say,

see, it's just knows. It's like, it just knows everything in Spanish. You got a child that speaks the language you don't. I can't. Not at the secret. It's like, oh, this will be great. I don't know what she's talking about most of the time. That is hilarious.

Yeah, but you must have like a reg, but now you got a kid, you got, you know, you live what, you live in Queens now, you have like a, you know, most of the house with Bitcoin. Hell yeah. Cause my husband, I am in love with crypto. That's for all obsessed. Oh, I'm obsessed with it.

Oh, I love crypto. They're obsessed with it. There's almost some guy like Dino over like buying Bitcoin for my husband. And my wife, he has to come over. Yeah. Yeah. They're always like over talking about.

He's like, God, that's awesome. God. God. God. They take no signs. That's like a philosophy of life for them. Crypto. Respect.

Oh, a dearium. Pumping off. But it's good that you guys got out of it and bought a house. Because that's your pumpers. You bought a house, and then it crashed. And so we have three firemen like building it. Like my husband blew up every room, like blew up the bathroom, the kitchen,

like he just like bulldozing things. Like he just wants to ride that bulldozing machine or something. He wants to ride the bulldozing scooter. That is that firemen, I think, are like, I could have run. The way like other guys like I could have been like, I could have gone pro and football,

they're like, I could have, I could have been construction. I could have gone pro and football. They're like, I could have been a construction. I could have been a foreman. Oh, yes, that's absolutely true. Not only is that true, but they all art. Like, they all have second jobs. You would think that he's a captain. Like, that's all he does. None of this, never all they do.

That's crazy. They all have second jobs. Wow. So, like, which sucks, because our house has been a construction for like a year, like active construction I'm like when's the plumber coming? He's like Anthony. I'll ask him next time I do a 24 No, I need a plumber not like an Anthony slash plumber, you know He's a lieutenant. He's like he's a lieutenant of battalion 3. I'll probably see him tomorrow

Maybe Dursan. I'm like no toilet. We a hot it doesn't work. Can we get a could can we get a professional? But every guy is a fireman in our house, and if they decorate it, it'll just be like, I mean, just a mural of the founding father. Of course, because they all just love it. Yeah, George Washington shaking hands with Derek Jeter. Yeah. Not to mention when DiBlasio was married.

Oh, hell yeah. Everything he did, Ron. He said, well, you're boy DiBlasio. My boy? No, my DiBlasio. He said, well, you're boy, DiBlasio. My boy, you're my boy, DiBlasio. He's like, well, because you're boy DiBlasio, apparently, I'm not allowed to say, it was always something he wasn't allowed to say. But I'm still alive to do anything shit.

He's like, oh, you're boy DiBlasio thinks we can't call it a hordest fire anymore because apparently that's offensive. We got to call it a clot of fire. Because you and your boy Diplasia right enough to fire names and I'm like, fuck off. I love that that makes that much of a difference. Like, what is this shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call something in an erasio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's always mad about like some term he's not allowed to use because of my fucking boy Diplasia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, it's just, it's like, we have some semblance of a normal life, but we live in an area with like, boy, the blazzy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, it's just, it's like, we have some semblance of a normal life,

but we live in an area with like, it's all like cops and fly-afoida families. Like, the school is called like, school of heroes and it's like, a fireman outside, like a Mount Rushmore statue. It's like, you do the math expression. That's awesome. Yeah, so it's like a weird little

insular neighborhood in Queens, where it's just all like, cops and fly-afoida, you know, you're always safe. That's awesome. Yeah, so it's like a weird little insular neighborhood in Queens, where you saw like quaps and five fighters, you know, you're always safe. That's awesome. You will be safe. Yeah. Definitely the only Jew for like, my life. Yeah. Like they've never seen a Mizzosa before. No, no, no.

That's a tannic writing. Yeah, like some not so you a gang has mocked you for robbery. I can see it on your doorway You you have to evacuate we will make sure all the Latinos and blacks in the neighborhood are questioned Like when I say it would all like you would just say you can't come out after It's always say you prefer if you stay inside after a p.m. It's always saying, you prefer if you stay inside after APM. Am I anti-Semitic? No, just like when you're inside and go to bed alone. You don't do any spells while we're around.

No, they've like, it's like New York. You think everybody's, you know, there's so many Jews here. Like whenever I go to there, they have these big events, Family Day. It's like FDMI Family Day on the rock and they, it's like they have this whole Training facility where they have life-size buildings and they set them on fire and the guys come and they have Hoses and they play this like patriotic music It's like it's like North Korea, but positive You feel like you're being brainwashed, but probably for the good I think why there's huge fires and explosions by the way, that's also what North Korea thinks by the way Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, me. Like, well, let's look track back and see the origin of that non-thought you just expressed.

You've been listening to the Fireman's views, a little too uncritical, for the last couple of years, it sounds like. Yeah, I mean, this is like my life now. I go to these like FDMI's, Staten Island, and LinkedIn advances, and then they have this, the rock where everybody gets together, and they blow up buildings, and then everybody comes,

and they put them out, and they play music, and then everybody comes and they put them out and they play music and then I meet all these other guys and one of the guys I'm standing there watching and we're always dragging a dummy or just a lot going on. You know you should, this is an idea for you. Just good fellows but for firefighters wives. Like the, the, um, fuck, what's, who played Well, I'm blanking

Melfy the fuck broko Lorraine Brock Lorraine Brock Lorraine Brock her character and good fellas. Yeah, the part of her Yeah, what you know fuck my brain is all fucked up Anyway, and who was the main guy in good fellows Ray Leo Ray Leo does so right. Yeah, all right P poor guy But he was it was a piece ass in his day while he was alive. And before Chantix, before he quit smoking any pun and his face popped up. But there's that, the whole middle part where it's her, it's her like talking about hanging out

with the other mob wives. That would be a really interesting like, hanging out with all the firefighters wives as it, cause she was a Jew too All active Yeah, that's my entire It should be it's Actually soon

But it's that's everything because like I now he's gonna be a chief soon So I have to just I'm like infiltrate it becomes very like you know political so that's awesome It's just like me and like a lot of women named Gina. Yeah, yeah Yeah, he's like Rachel don't bring up how you feel about black lives matter I'm up for a promotion. I don't need you spouting off at the mouth That was my wedding it was like My dad it was like my wedding. It was like my dad. It was like Collick Quinn and Tom Papa did the ceremony.

Yeah, that's awesome. We had a wedding in Staten Island because of course, because you got a hook up day, we got to get married in Staten Island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I think I called it like North New York and the Invergeneers' Shubbler trying to play that down. I was like, it was just like a bunch of comedians. My dad gets on, doesn't mention me or or Pete just does like a long speech about immigration

You can ask Anthony. He's like never mentioned Anthony is fascinating by my dad's speech He's like this is what it makes America great. It's diversity But it's just like some red-pissed firemen like falling drug into his own lab He's like 1220 20 as he fights as he faints, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just like a shit show. But that's everything now. And it was a bunch of firemen came out like out of respect, you know?

Oh, did I tell you? I was on stage at the comedy seller. I'm in the middle of my act and I was telling a story that I talk about on stage about my husband and how his nickname for me is big guy. That's awesome. That's what he calls me. Does That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome.

That's awesome. He calls me, doesn't understand why I wouldn't want to be called Big Guy. He's like, come on, you're fun. You're gonna need to be Big Guy. You're gonna need to be Big Guy. You're gonna need to be Big Guy. You're gonna need to be Big Guy. He's a song.

And I walk in at night and he'll be like, she's my Big Guy. She's my Big Guy. She's my Big Guy. She's my Big Guy. Like, he cannot compliment. Just emotionally. Just like, it's a bastard. The big guy is an exalted position in the firehouse. Being a big guy, that's good.

He's a kid, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's your favorite kind of guy. Big, big guy. Big guy. Yeah. So anyway, I was on stage talking about that. And I talked about being, you know, about firemen, that's being marriage of firemen.

And then all of a sudden, in Millenac, this guy jumps on stage grabs him, my head on my hand And he's like Like he couldn't even compose a sentence. It was like a sort of a smear Yeah, and then he was immediately like tackled or whatever Yeah And so later I find out he was a fireman and I was like oh my god What engine did he work at so I go next and I'm determined to get to the bottom of it

Of course so I like I show all the guys at my husband's firehouse and I'm like, and this guy is drunk and they're like, and they guess, I don't wanna say the guy's name, they're like, I know what he's like. I'm like, how many drunks? And they knew, they guessed. And it wasn't their firehouse and they got it right. Then I post the clip, I didn't say anything about it

being a fire, but I post the clip or whatever. And then he comes to the firehouse, the next day with the type letter Apologize and a type letter of apology And a cake because that's how to communicate if you're a Brooklyn firefighter you communicate through cakes You bring the boss a cake You want you want to be camp you get a junior's fucking cheese cake you wash up real fucking nice Get your wife and go over there talk to the fucking chief and don't forget juniors

Yeah, so you find out what cake this guy likes everything is communicated through case you fucked up You took this guy's tour you will late. You know you missed you missed the ring on a call You bring a fucking pie find out what kind of pie legs I love that he comes in he's, he's like, oh yeah, guess who showed up with the cake this morning in a tight letter, whatever. Apologizing, not to me. Yeah.

But first, I was mentioned the letter. I disrespected your property. Your property. I was mentioned, but second. And do you think that I got a fucking bite of that cake? He's like, listen, I was disrespected. But second and you think that I got a fucking bite of that cake He said listen, I was disrespected your show. I had no idea I was enjoying her and a blue collar added to it and the repressions and I thought it would be fun Needless to say if I jumped on a stage and then my husband my husband's time y'all is in showing me the letter

And I'm like and stick where's the cake? He's like oh,, it's delicious. It's a tasty. It's like, oh, it's amazing. I was like, why love cake? What the fuck? Where's my cake? Where's my goddamn slice? It's so awesome how all those guys think they're in the mafia. Where it's like, it's like, I had no idea

that she was affiliated with the firehouse. And I would never disrespect your family like that. I thought she was merely a civilian comedian and not that she was merely a civilian comedian and not that she was the wife of a potential captain. Please accept these this is Fuyadau as a token of my appreciation and my deep sorrow for my lack of the Trump, Trump 2024, a storm is coming. That's awesome, that's so funny. Yeah, also, like, he and his mind, my husband's not jealous at all. He's like, like, he's almost like an accidental feminist.

Like, like, doesn't care if I change my name. I love that. I'm like, I've had to explain to him like when my plane, like you should see if my plane landed okay, like just oblivious, you know. So he doesn't even understand why this guy's apologizing to him, you know, he's totally unnecessary. You know, like, like he wasn't,

I told him the whole story when I got off stage, he's like, yeah, but you nailed him, right? And I'm like, yeah, I was a little unsettling. Yes, I'm curious. He's like, yeah, but she got a good big gay. I'm like, yeah, I was a little unsettling. Yeah, it's an experience. I was like, yeah, but she got a good big gay. My gosh. A man rushed the stage, I was afraid for my safety. You probably got him, though.

He's like, I bet you're raised, am I? You probably called him gay. Yeah. You probably said something about that t-shirt you swear. That must have been fun. I'm like, how about how are you feeling? Yeah. He's born in a plane without me once.

Like he's oblivious, like wild. That's awesome. I was like, I'm probably not gonna change my name because of stand-up. He's like, I'll be win, huh? That's awesome. But if I was like, if I said the word feminist, he'd be like, oh, those people are a little spoky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, yeah, those of those girls would like blow hands, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh yeah, those of those girls would blow hands, like see them with fury and stuff. You wouldn't know what that is, but he, I think he, like, strangely is, but not with. I think that happens a lot with, like, liberal and leftist things, is that people want them,

but they don't want to be labeled as those things. Like, in a blind, like, you know, in a blind survey, if you ask people, do you think America should provide healthcare and good education and everyone says yes. But then when it's like, okay, well, we should tax billionaires that you'll never be to make that happen.

They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I might be. Call a car sometimes. I get, what are we fucking Chinese? It ain't happening, pal. Go fuck it. Let's cut down, go through the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah fucking Chinese? It ain't happening pal. Go fucking. Let's cut down. Go through the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do not regulate crypto. Whatever you do. Yeah, it's like regulation. No, no, no, no. But it's funny because like because socially he is a complete like lip like you wouldn't care gay, not saying like you wouldn't care about anything like that. But yeah, he's like, all right, watch the regulating. I don't know if you can give a shit, regulate,

and I need to be, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need boundaries and like rules. Of course, and also it's so funny because what do you think fire code is? It's a regulation. Exactly, it's a regulation. It's a game most regularly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But there, I mean, none of it really tracks about getting this sense at all. No, no, no. They're living in a cake economy. They haven't, you course. No, no, no. Yeah. They're living in a cake economy. They haven't gotten to. Yeah. You have to say, you have to apologize to the man if you've offended.

Why? If it is a very old world situation. I have brought so many cakes with him. I'm like, wait, what, what firehouse do you want to be at? He's like, I'm thinking, and it's like a bit. Some of you really think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting.

I can't even think like he doesn't like think, you know, what bothers Rachel or how she's coping with this. Right, right. I think it's like, should I bring a double layer to Captain. Yeah. Does the Captain want buttercream or maybe a cookies and cream more peanut butter based? I feel like, I feel like,

Kapizio will probably like an ice cream. Yeah. It's an ice cream cake. That is really cute though. They almost, it's the way, you know, the way you were the lightning rod for all your family's emotional problems, cakes are the lightning rod for the way firemen

show their emotions for each other. Yeah. And it's also very interesting that what we were talking about like in your family, the problem was they paid too much attention and you ended up with somebody that's, you said oblivious. That's like border to plane.

Yeah, my mom was definitely like, you know, just sort of watching me for signs. Yeah. But my dad emotionally was like, okay. He does, like he's neurotic, but doesn't like say like, I love you. Or like he's like, he's like, you know,

called me Roxanne a few times. I don't, there's no Roxanne in our family. I'm not lying, soft. Roxanne is awesome. Yeah, my brother Justin, when he met my dad, my dad was like frantic, he would call my brother Justin and Jason. Like, come on, come on, get in.

I'm just so chasing, who's Jason? Sounds like my boy needed, maybe he needed the brain scan, is it possible? My dad was like, was like, memorized like some insane, you could tell him about like a specific, you could mention like a specific war in like Poland and the, you know, in the 1920s. And he would tell you, but yeah, if you ask him about any like emotional memory, no,

like I've never, never seen him cry except for at the baseball hall of fame. This is very interesting. We should take some calls because I could go and we could be talking about you forever. But we'll save it for next time. We need to save people. For your next appearance, we'll get to your dad.

No, the people need us. The people need us. They need a fire, they need a Jewish fireman's wife. That's a rare perspective to bring to this show. It truly is. And before we go, you say you're taping a special soon. Why are you taping it? Where are you taping it?

I'm taping a special at Midnight Theater. Oh, Midnight Theater is really cool. Yes, you can get tickets on their website. Also, on the thing, I'd like to do a lot of stuff with this charity Okay, and oh Hold on better than us and it's called Friends of Firefighters and they like they do all this cool stuff with With with but basically they give free mental health services and like acupuncture is a massage stuff to first responder families

So when you get the ticket you can like get a Friends of Firefighter like piece of merch or something and helps these guys come home and punch walls last. Yeah, that's huge. That is really taking advantage of where you're at. Getting these motherfuckers acupuncture, that's next level. Acupuncture is massage is therapy. Therapy is awesome. All event, like they just give all free services

to any FDNY family and it's like really lovely and I should really go and get some of the stuff. You need it. I need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal.

You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal.

You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. You need a pal. It's the first weekend in April. Okay. And just go to my website, Rachel-FineSign.com for tickets, and also all my dates in the road are there too. We'll put this out a week before. How's that sounds to the crowd?

That sounds great. So it's fresh in people's minds. Go see Rachel at the Midnight Theater. We'll do a little in the middle plug. Cause you know, you do the plugs at the end. People don't, they don't remember. It's Rachel-FineSign.com. You can see all my road dates and come see me in

New York for my special I'm still looking for the data the special I will figure it out we'll get that in later okay all right let's fucking let's get to some of these questions L.D. what do you got for us hit us with the first one as always it is not playing the speaker every single time this happens. Hey, what's going on? I have a problem. Can we get a little more water here? And my girlfriend is 16 years older than I am. So I met her with her 25, she was 41. And now she's 48. And she's hearing 50.

And that has become kind of a chore for her. She's fun and getting it by son. What I should do, because I already found myself not yet to all go out other women. And yeah, I don't want to cheat. So I already found myself starting to all look at other women and Yeah, I don't want to cheat so Yeah, I'm getting up a little late. I love this we get a call like a week where guys are basically trying to get let me give them Permission to cheat Just feel like what he's doing now. Yeah, he's like look. What can I say it's up?

I would love not to cheat, but she keeps turning older. And what am I, I didn't know this was going to happen. I feel so many different emotions to this guy. First, I thought he was saying that he was dating a 16-year-old. I was like, I went from hating him to loving him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, now we're back to neutral. Yeah, I mean, 16 years older, they met when he was 25.

He's 31 now. So it was 25 and 41 now, it's 31 and 50 or 31 and 48 now. So, you know, what do you want me to fucking say? Now what you could do is the, the Ashton Kutcher pulled a very heartless maneuver where he was married to Demi Moore for the tail end of her prime.

And then he got divorced basically right around this time that this guy's talking about and he ended up marrying Mela Kunis. So that really is a dickhead's move. And also we're talking about Demi Moore. I'm going to go ahead and guess your wife ain't exactly Demi Moore. Just no disrespect to her but let's you know. I know that not always, none of it includes talking to the woman.

So I'm just about to just blow my load in a stranger. Yeah, yeah. Well, right before I do so, I mean, yeah, you might want to like talk to her about it. And just like be like, I really wanting to have sex more than you. And maybe we could try to like, where are you with your sex drive and how important it is,

you know, stuff like that. And you think she's probably thinking about this. Like if someone's in this kind of relationship, this is probably their insecurity, right? Like when you think, if you were, if you were dating somebody younger than you, 16 years older, I mean, that's steep. That's a wild answer.

That is a tough one. A man or a woman, like it's like. I would love to know what happened here. How do you guys got together? What's the situation? I would love some more comments. And we would like some videos. And I would like some videos.

Yeah, if you get no. Let us see what you guys look like when you fuck. We can show you. We can show you. We can give you pointers. I don't want to cheat. That's always awesome. He wants to cheat. By the way, that means you want to cheat. That's exactly what you want. I don't want a cheat. That's always awesome. He wants the cheat.

By the way, that means you want a cheat. That's exactly what you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want a cheat. Just talking about cheating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one brought that up, but you. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, this is a voicemail you recorded yourself. Yeah. This is literally not a conversation. You brought up everything in it, including cheating. Yeah, why would that be an option when you're having a brought, why would be like, I don't want to land inside another, some road cheese. Yeah, why would that be an option when you're having like a brought, why would you be like, I don't want a land inside another, some road push.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, obviously, yeah, you absolutely do and you're just furiously beating to every other woman you've got. Yeah, and the thing is no woman has tried to fuck him yet or he would have is what it feels like. Yes, I don't want, yes, I want to desperately to cheat. Um, advice on what he should do Yeah, I mean, I think it would start with some conversation first take her out like was we don't know where this guy's at

Look you might be a fucking sexual magician for all I know You could be a real oral As one guy told me once on a day, you know they say I'm really good at going down on girl. She said they say We're on the street. Apparently, I'm pretty spicy. My tongue is like a credible, I guess. I don't know, some sort of oral magic. Some would say. I was like, what, how do we end up like?

That's awesome. Like, can I have some salmon? Yes, yeah. But, you know, like, I mean, I don't know what you are doing, but first you would obviously want to try to like, rekindle that. Sure, that's a great point. Take her out and try to hook up.

And maybe, just deciding that she sexually has become a chore, it could be, you're only deciding that that's her view on sex. There's two people involved. That's a really good point. That's a really good point that he, this call could exist with no age being referenced at all. But there's two different things.

You're saying there's two issues here. The core issue theoretically is, my wife doesn't wanna have sex as much anymore. You have decided it's because she's 16 years older than you. When in reality, what's happening is your wife doesn't wanna fuck as much as you want and you wanna fuck other women. Those are two other things.

Yeah. And you've conflated these things and you've taken the idea that she is fucking less, that you're giving yourself permission to want to fuck other women. The age gap and the frequency of sex are two separate issues that you're mixing into one. So if you really, truly don't want to cheat

and you're not just looking for an excuse from your pal's style, it really, what you, if what you were looking for wasn't me being like, Oh, dude, 50 years old. Go get yourself some new pussy brother. If you weren't looking for that answer and you actually wanted real good advice, what Rachel said is perfect. It's like, yeah, what's going on here? Why? Let's, let's throw the, let's throw the age gap out. Maybe you're not fucking as good anymore. Maybe you're not paying attention to her.

Maybe you aren't as attracted to her. You're treating her worse subconsciously. She feels less attraction to you and attractive and less of a sexual person. Her adoption, she's getting some sweet beer. She's fucking some sexual person. Third option. She's getting some sweet beer, so. She's fucking some 20-year-old. She's fucking, the coopers back out. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, no, I, or maybe, this thing, I just did a jig for her, which was like, I don't know what I'm gonna apologize. Yeah, or maybe you're getting good. She's got a hypothetical side dick. She's got it. Yeah. And that was wrong, and I just want to say that to God and you.

Let's be honest, he'd be thrilled. That would be a gather jail free card for this guy. What he wants to do. He wants to nestle in a brand new rack. He wants to just, yeah, he just wants to be just blothering inside of a brand new set of fresh cans. Exactly. So I think he needs to first ask himself and his higher power.

That's true. But to see what. Which is to get the hell out of this, So I think he needs to first ask himself and his higher power To get the hell out of this and to get into some brand new pair of sweet panties Yeah, or does he want to reconnect with his lady? So ask yourself those hard questions Those are some real hard questions. Come back with us over here. Come back. Absolutely. I would love a follow-up I need more context. I don't know what happens. Yeah, I would need more context on how you guys got together. Like, I'm gonna text stuff about this. Were you groomed?

Yeah. And now, 20 by the way, 41 is not out of groom. It's a situation, but, you know, give us more context. Rachel's absolutely correct. You have two things to figure out here, buddy. And we're curious to see how it goes. Hit us out, this Hit us with another one. Flug, I can't believe this works.

What's up, stop. How you doing? I hope everything's good. And whichever guest you happen to have on us doing well as well. Here's my thing. I don't need to ask about how to get sex or anything like that. I'm like, fine. I'm like, fine.

I said this is not wanting to brag. Oh, not wanting to brag. I'm extremely poor. I'm extremely mentally ill. I find it extremely easy to find sexual partners. Okay. And I have like a big big. So you gotta get quickly with the question. I've been thinking that sex workers my only option. I've had like 24 and I've had like 20 jobs. It's just I'm not going to give you my whole fucking job story. You did. Basically I'm really thinking like starting an only fan

and doing sex workers my only option. But my problem is that my interest and what I want to eventually go to school for is international relations. I want to eventually go to school for is international relations and i want to be international policy so i mean i i know you're you're kind of an expert on that Greek society here so in a form of relations that's hoping you can have a let me know if that's a bad idea for the long-term outcome

i would do anything to see this i know that uh... public reputation and it'll be effective. I'm talking about like you think it would fuck up my my chance of being like an ambassador. I don't know. It's too big to work for the I don't know anybody. I got to exercise. It's a girl. It's a girl. It's a girl. Yeah, it's not because of doing good. It's my career. It's been an ambassador. Okay, so we got a lot. I need to nap after that. Like, I don't know who I am. I don't know where, first of all, like, that was one of the most amazing paragraphs I've ever

ever had. Be held. That should be a bumble profile. Yeah. Just, I have a really big con. I'm mentally ill if you're into that. A little out dorsi. And interested in an actual event.

I love tariffs. So, okay, we got a couple issues here. Number one, you might be fat cocked and you might get your fat cock sucked on quite a bit. But it doesn't sound like you're really taken for granted the fact that you would make money on only fans. Let's start there. That's a real fucking job. I have friends who do only fans.

They post the way we post clips, the way, I have friends who are like, oh, I gotta do a jack off video. I gotta like, I gotta, you know, clip it and sell, you know, like they have a posting schedule. They text, they DM their, you know, the people that subscribe to them. Like, it sounds so exhausted.

It's a real, you know, that's- I'd rather go back to Des Moines on New Year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I like hump a pillow for like, it's much harder work than stand up comedy without question. Yeah. And so you said you've had a bunch of jobs and you can't do it. So like, I think you're conflating the fact that real women recognize that they can

fuck you and that you're, you must be handsome and you have a big penis and they see that you're insane. And they're like, oh, I can fuck this guy and it won't matter, you know, whatever. I'll just get, you know, it won't come back to haunt me in any way. I don't care, I'll leave. I want some. I don't even remember what his problem was.

I got lost in his hypothetical cop. This problem is, his problem is if we'll starting an only thing, he keeps saying my only option is to start it was to do sex work. Like the cheating guy, yeah, like, it's just like I guess. You clearly want to jack off for money, okay work. Like the cheating guy, yeah, it's just like I guess.

You clearly want to jack off for money, okay? Like, let's, let's, nobody takes the leap from international studies to beating off in your room with one dirty sock on. Well, and look, if you want to do it great, I'm just warning you, it's more work than you think it is. No one, it's, no, people are going to subscribe because it's easy for you to fuck,

you think it'll be easy for you to make money showing off your cock. And look, maybe it is, but it's a full-time job. You gotta fucking promote yourself. A lot of the people that make money on only fans or do online sex work have a big following, and that takes literally upkeep. You were too all over the fucking place to do any of that if I had to guess.

I think you need to first figure out the cocktail of medications that address the mental illness. That's what I was just gonna say is like, have you tried to address your mental illness because maybe you have? That's not after thought. Like he's like basically like I'm teaming with mental illness. So just maybe like therapy,

yeah, figure out some kind of medications. Absolutely. Yeah, and you know, maybe CV therapy, figure out some kind of medications. Absolutely. And maybe CVS, there's other apps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not only beating off on camera, like that was, yeah. And look, he sounds like he's trying, he's gotten fired from a bunch of jobs,

is what it sounds like. But look, when I was broke, I went to, there was a community, like a mental, like, you know, mental health type. There's a place where I got free. I was on Medicaid and I got free therapy. Maybe let's try and do Medicaid first. If you're broke and you don't have...

I did Medicaid in free therapy too. Yeah. Yeah. I was on Medicaid. And so that'll be, let's make that your first piece of homework. Do the paperwork for Medicaid. Find a place where you can maybe try and get your mental illness. And then if after a couple of things are there, but you're like, you know what, I really

do want to put a butt plug in my ass and plump my nuts up for money. Great, do it. You know what I mean? Do it then. But I would say you're a little all over the place. And also foreign relations, it's a come on buddy. What do you, what do you, what do you in school again? That's what you wanted to do because you went to like model you in and you had a fun time. Yeah, you want to do that. You've been insane for the last five years. You've been getting pussy with your big fat cock and getting fired from bar

back jobs for the last four years. Do you even still want to do foreign relations or is that like a- Do foreign relations is the best sense ever? The fact that anyone's using these phrases means that you belong nowhere near that field. You are a stop. I definitely don't. I guess you don't want to settle on ambassador, but- Ambassadors hilarious, that you're like amazing. You have to say, I was, if this makes you feel any better,

I was fired so much once I was fired in under four hours. It was just three and a half hour job. What was it? I was working at a store called Bat Shoes and Clothes on Broadway. It was one of my first, and I thought I'd made it by the way.. That's how low my center for myself. I moved to New York with this guy in his band called Dixister. Dixister dummy. The guy's name of the band was Dixister. The band's name was Dixister. I was like the Yoko Ono to Dixister. After Dixister dummy, I was like just on my own in New York, just getting just fired every goddamn day. So I went to this one place got fired, got a job at Fat Shoes and Clothes.

I thought that was so cool. Yeah. I was like, I'm basically, I work on my Broadway at a place called Fat Shoes and Clothes. I'm a BC boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I was so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told everybody my family and my aunt sent me flowers because everybody was so excited.

I was employed by the time the flowers got there. I'd been very fired. What did you do to get fired in the first few? I was supposed to fold things and I was like, my folds were real slavently and off. I just remember this guy at it. He was like twirling his key, watching my folds. He's like, that is a gangerness fold.

I couldn't fold anything. Like I was like, that's awesome. He was just like watching me. I was trying to hide my folds because they were terrible. Yeah folding is an art You know you're just show up gay one knowing how to pull it like Of course, and I was supposed to convince people to buy things and I couldn't do either of those things He's making like a private purchase of course you know I'm gonna buy and and he's like a compliment that told him something good You have to come

He's like the rocket the rocket remember good You have to come He's like rotate, rotate, remember you're saying rotate, come on rotate He was like, talk, you talk up, you say look nice, you say, bad news, what is this? You sexually harass them, they come in You say, oh my god, you're pushing incredible in jeans I fuck many times for the pushy, juicy, very juicy pushy You're ass looking never for the proof, my goodness You are pushy you're an ass looking neighborhood approved my goodness you are thicker than a sneaker who's this jar dash?

so I was the couldn't do it fired what was the job that stuck what did you get a job that you didn't get fired I finally was able to be a nanny because I love kids okay don't be nanny don't this we don't need this big dick Luna to go around any children Do that don't even don't even start a background check don't enter your name into any website that has anything to do with show as a mother Fucking be an ambassador that beats off first. Yeah Oh, maybe yeah, maybe that's what it is.

Maybe you do, maybe you do world politics themed only fans. You get one of those horrible blonde wigs. You pretend you're Boris Johnson and beating off. Oh, look at my penis, you know? You can be Justin too. I might just be the kind of porn he likes. You know, like, some guys get a little confused by that. Like he might just like some kind of like,

international. But I'd like the idea, maybe marry the two things. Do Fidel Castro role play where big beard, you know, pull your dick through some army fatigues. You could do some international relations themed sex work. Maybe that's the sweet spot for you, pal. So good luck. Let us know what happens.

But again, first and foremost, get on Medicaid. Yes, please. They pretended to You don't Medicaid. Yes, please They pretended to be Fidel Castro. Yes, and are you do a lot of like Specified role play like that like Hipper Not Hitler That's enough too fast. I was like no, no, I just you know, I was just feeling a vibe for this guy Everything's been pretty generic

You're not big on role play yourself. No, I've gotten in there a couple of times. It's been pretty fun, but it's been pretty generic like, you know, to tutor, you know, student thing, made stuff, pretty, you know, pretty run of the mill. Massage, that's fun. Oh, I'm getting a massage. Oh, you're jacking me a little. Nice.

We had. Maybe I give the massage and I'm like, you know, you're popping. Either way, someone's in trouble. Yeah. And they should be be someone's getting fingered either way yeah it should be in trouble somebody's getting their screen time take it away no I pad you're not going to that movie with Zachary yeah I'm having no screen time but you are going to get on your heads and knees. All right. He

stopped Medi-Guy on an app found out. We'll play it. We'll play it. Sorry. I know. Look at you. You really do have a new role. I love you way down the law with me. That's a fast pitch. I won my own podcast. Very fair. Go ahead, Eldis. Hey, Stavvy. Metagonion and app found out he's a 35-year-old version. I enjoy sex and want to keep it casual. Should I hook up with him and you know, should I hook up with him and voters some red flags to look for before after we do it? Love the pond. Bye. Thank you.

I love that we have a sex positive woman from Wisconsin calling in. Oh my God, I just found a 35-year-old who's never eaten pussy before. And I just want to get him right down there, shove his face down, and have him really enjoy his snack. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Come on and fuck the snitch for the first time.

Do I have the crust? Should I have come to them? And you know, that's amazing. Should I have got with them in order some red flak? What are some red flags to look for? So, okay, I see, I understand the worry. She wants to keep it casual. Someone's never gotten pussy in their life.

The first morsel of it might send them into a craze. It's called a whisper. Yeah. Whisper, pussy. Initial whisper of pussy might send them flailing out. Absolutely. I mean, to be completely honest, like, please, this is a place of honesty.

I don't wanna, I don't wanna do it in virgin. Sure. Like you got it. But she's not talking about dating. She sounds like, it sounds like she's interested to fuck him. And by the way, you wanna keep its casual, I really don't listen. You really don't, and you even tried reading it.

I still didn't get any information. I feel stuff in my brain. Are you as exhausted as my teacher now? And do you agree with my parents? Your mom is on the sum with the brain scans. Yeah. This is literally the most straightforward question anyone's ever asked this, and you're like,

now wait a second, she wants to date him. So, yes, there's no dating involved. She's talking about, should I fuck this virgin? She met him on the apps. I think, first of all, you'd be a hero in this man. Yeah, why not? You would be an absolute hero. I see no downside to this for anyone.

The downside is he's too clingy and she doesn't want to date him. She's, you know what I mean? She wants to be sexually adventurous maybe and be a good Samaritan and fuck this 30-pig. If she's open about it and she tells them that she just wants to get laid and like, really blow his mind. Oh, 100%.

I, that sounds so exhausting to me. I would never want to be anybody's first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First of all, I don't bring a lot of the two last actually. I might I mean pulling out, I mean, stops. You feel like it's a pull out. I don't get even first trying a lot of outfits

to bring hat box over or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Well, the nice thing, I would say this, the fact that this guy hasn't fucked, he is so, he will probably be so happy. You could be like, listen, we can have sex. I will fuck you four times and then you can never contact me again. And it would be like, thank you so much.

I would love to do that. That would be excellent. Four times. Great. So you just be clear and he still might, you know, maybe he's a little clinging, but you could just say, look, I just want something casual. Let's, I find it. If you're even like, I find it, you know, kind of hot that you are virgin. I want to, I want to do this for purely sexual reasons, speaking to someone who didn't

fuck until college. If somebody who, you know, it's not 35, but it's later than most people, I would be, if some girls like, hey, I'll fuck you and you never, you can never contact me again. I would be like, yes, right now, right away. I could, whatever you need, do I have to do anything else? Would you like me to do, whatever you want?

I'll do whatever you want. So, I think you're good there. And I think, what are some red flags? I mean, this is a red flag, it's weird. Yes, but, but flags? I mean, this is a red flag, it's weird. Yes, but if I think if he seems like a good enough guy and there's some kind of, also if there's some kind of plausible narrative here as to why he's a 35 year old virgin.

He's probably like, I'm just guessing, like maybe he was like a Mormon or something. Yeah, something like that. I say go for it, sister, do the Lord's work, but set up your boundaries and You know now if you if he if you order about this fucking fresh Mormon. Yeah, yeah suck that fresh pink dick get it out the rapper and suck it off Can take it out of its original packaging and put it in your pussy

If if we're reading this guy wrong though if he's not the kind of version who would be dying for pussy and he's like, oh, I was kind of hoping to date, run. That's when you're in the problem. That's when it's a problem. But if you set your balance, and he's like, great, you'll never hear from me again if you suck me off. I think you're good to go, and you can enjoy yourself, and you can feel like you really did something good

for the world. It's a beautiful stuff. Yeah, the thing is so much. Yeah. I love the way your toes pointed as your toes. Just a little sum for the people. Just a little sum for the people. Little speaking of whisper, whisper of stars, dogs, sweet dog in the air.

Yeah, put this like twirling your foot. If you want to suck them off, just go for it. Have time for one more. What do you say? One more. Yeah, I'm just going to. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool.

That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. That's to get here. Okay. He's right. He lives literally around the corner. You say he's 30 minutes out. Oh, is it worth it?

He's gonna come here. I'm like, I'm like, I forget he has a job. Yeah. Fucking dumbass. Yo, a chubby baby. How you doing? This is amazing. What about this? Hey, that's not having me. Listen, listen.

Me and my girl get married a few months. I'm not going to be a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a little bit a I keep going back and forth. Our brother has a two-year-old, my sister has a two-year-old, so we're obviously one, our kids to grow up and be close sort of in age to their cousins. But let me know what you think.

I think we want to have two, three, four maybe. What the fuck? We have 24. Yeah. Love you guys. I think we want to have two, three, four maybe. So what the fuck? I don't know. We have a corner of 20s. We have four. Yeah. Love you guys.

Interesting. Yeah. OK. The fact that you're like, should I have a baby? Wait. Hold the phone. Let me make my own call. And that's to stop podcasts. The answer is do not do any circumstances impregnate

anyone. You shouldn't be involved in anyone's family planning. How about that guy I heard on Compton? What would he do? You know what, buddy? Have five. How about that? Just because Rachel said not to. And name them all Stavros. Name them Stavros one, two, three, four, and five. Even the girls.

I thought about talking to my wife about this. But then I was like, man, I'm gonna call Stavros. And I'm saying get a vasectomy. I'm gonna call him Rose and I'm saying get a vasectomy. First of all, what were you saying about having kids? This is amazing. I don't know, maybe the Racine episode we were talking about having kids. I think this was the one that. Do you want kids?

Do I want kids? I don't know. He may be talking about when you've been like, it's like corny to get pussy, to want to get pussy in your thirties. This is the time that like everyone just starts to have gets married as kids. It should like that. That's what you should be doing.

I think like, the like older I guess I get, the more I think yeah, that would be kind of, a more open to it. I've always been like, I've always been like, I could go either way, like wherever I end up with, if they have a really strong feeling, one way or the other, I could rock with that. But if we're both kind of neutral,

then I kind of see myself, kind of for the same reasons he's talking about, like I see the pull of, like if my brothers have kids, there's something you want them to have cousins, you want to have family, you want that family feeling. And I think that's really, I get the drive for this guy to be like, well, I want my kids to be around the same age as their cousins.

Also, I don't see her feelings mentioned in any of this. I can rereading this voice though. I'm not so sure whether I want to get, she's getting pregnant. Well, I know, absolutely. I think I'm hoping maybe I'm giving our friend here too much credit. I'm hoping that when he says I think we want to have two three four that they. Oh, that was a we okay two three four. So then if they're

talking about two three four then they both do want to have kids. It sounds like. I hope so. Or what? Signed his wife up for being what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what? And what about this is stov-ro. I say have them. I fuck racial fuck your wife. Have the kids name I'm stov-in-eldis and that's it name I'm stov-in-sign and the dog that saves on it. Name I'm Wolfie Jewelwitz. But I want to know is what you were doing during there's pauses. There was a lot of long like haunting pauses. Were you coming? He might have been. Were you coming? He might have been. Were you getting pregnant? I hope so.

I hope you could, you know what? Call back, but call while you're conceiving your child. And then we want to have the first ever conception live on a podcast. So I think that's never happened before. I also already regret, like, I was about to say being fresh. Like, what is this 19, but I already regret being fresh with this guy because you does sound like he's like a work, like a meat man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I just want to say thank you for all your time. No, he's, believe me, he's not at all. No chance he has anything going on. Okay, that's helpful. But you study yourself, you guys had a fun 20s, you're in your 30s, you're married. Now look, you said it's been a few months,

maybe you don't need to have kids right away, but give it a year, give it a couple years, and you're still okay, you know. You could have, your kids could be the little cousins, no big deal, as long as they're kind of in that mix. But yeah, if you both want to do it, you certainly have the blessing of the Stavis World podcast. The most important thing when having a child.

Thank you everybody, thank you Rachel, thanks for coming. Thank you. 904 800 staff, call in, you have any questions like this. I learned so much, I guess I want to thank all. Please come back, you're awesome. We should have like, we'll be fun to mix and match get get you on your Wish I'm too guys like cake. Oh, yeah, I love cake. I love how readily answered that is ready to go You a sweet sky? Yeah, I really am. Yeah, I'm gonna bring you cake next to chocolate

He's like triple layer bitch you'll text you with the exact specification. No, I love cake too. I love cake and cupcakes. What's your favorite cake? Yeah. Let's talk. I love a red velvet cake. Do you like cakes too?

I'm a cake guy as well. Yeah, I love cake and cupcakes. Cupcakes is like, I think about cupcakes when I should be having more intelligent thoughts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, just like, find myself cupcakes. A fresh cupcake. They can get a little.

They can get a little sick. But I love a fresh cupcake. Love a fresh cupcake. They can get a little. Oh, they didn't get crusty, but I love a fresh cupcake. Love a fresh cupcake. I think I want agreement. I would choose friends based on what snacks they have. I would just go and just eat so much in my friends' houses. Because we didn't get sweets when I was a kid, so I'm obsessed with sweets.

Yeah. I'm still talking and this should have been over. So everybody, racial-findsign.com, get tickets to my house. Get tickets. Go see Rachel live. So funny. He's got some taping. Big guy is going to dot com. Get tickets. Get tickets. Go see Rachel live. So funny. It's so fun. It's going to be cool.

Big guy. Go go go. Watch your tape. Big guy. Thank you guys. We love you. We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

Bye. I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago, it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels, but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me.

And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mum and I stopped by that area to walk around. And remember, one of the most special times for my family. Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. get an Airbnb.