Stone Clearing With Richard Herring - Chapter 145

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Chapter 145 - Ftone Antf. It's some time around 2pm on 20th July 2023 (email for more details) and Richard'f loofe lipf almoft give away where he if really from. But I think he covers it up OK. He has lots of intermediate tips for the quite good stone clearer, including how to avoid stone mushrooms and the terrifying true story of the stone clearer who fell victim to lurking stone ants. Plus more songs and poems than you can shake a stick at, a bit too much about organic material given the remit of this podcast and no new rules.

Stone clearing with Richard Herring Hello my finest friends! Welcome to Stomp Clearing Chapter 1 for 5. Getting very close now. So the midway points are the intermediate lessons, only 55 lessons away from moving over to hard difficult master and of course to this of the measure you all have to pay the 500 pounds annual fee and parts of stone clearing exam can't have non-master stone clearing is listening to those. There won't be much I could teach you, but when you're at that level yourself, but you'll be surprised. But also it's just nice to be acknowledged as a master isn't it? For the very cheap price, £500 a year.

If everyone who listens to this podcast takes advantage of that offer, I'll be making £500 a year, if I can count myself paying. Anyway, here we are, we're heading up to Duckett's passage. It's the, what I want to say, 20th of July, 2023. I want to say it's about 2pm. I haven't got my watch on, I've got my phone in my pocket, but... Does it ring? If it ring, that's to you, email me. And I'll let you know what time it was. Does it ring if it really matters to you email me and

I'll let you know what time was Then I'll find out Guess I can work it back from here along the The podcast recording you as long as it doesn't fail to any point right here. We, they see, is brown. And my pants are down. It's time to clear some stones. are down, it's time to clear something. Verily, merily, wearily and ferrely, we will do it on our own. That's any old medieval song, that I was quoting there at the beginning,

you probably recognized it, without me telling you that. Here we go, we're off, did try to do a stone clear yesterday. But I was just a bit tired. I did the stone clear, but I just didn't release the chapter, it didn't just come out as I'd wanted, there were several lost chapters. That was a loss, I got to it, I That was a loss I got to I'll tell you

where I got to when I get there. You can see how quickly I gave in. Let's see if I give in today. I mean you won't of course because you won't you. Just kind of look please thumbs quickly into the can by the bench. Well we under a bush perhaps planning to put larners just just eating some grass what she likes to do because she is a crazy doggy of vegetarian yeah you are when people are watching aren't you but I've seen your home eating all the meats all the sweets she eats. I didn't do Dr. Sussner or as he was known, Dr. Fouff. That's what he was known as in the Middle Ages. Dr. Fouff.

I'd like to be Dr. Fouff, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I've always wanted to be a gynecologist. Oh, Wolfy! Straight in, squatting, pooping, there's a butterfly, futtering by, that happened yesterday. Oh, I guess it's just a little butterfly's around at the moment. Not that much of a coincidence. We're not kind of using nappy bags as dog poo poo bags because we don't have nappy as any more, but we do have dog poo. Look at that, well, I'd be a little softer than I thought it would be, well, we'll see.

You know, really, for the fact that I know a lot of people listen to this just for all these poops, but that was an impressive one. Look at that, it's just annoying to have to carry a poop around all the way. If it's organic, then it's only a panicked, but if it's organic and it's dog poo, you have to clear it up for fear of upsetting local Facebook groups and becoming a pariah. Now the pariah, the pariah. Oh it stinks wars. You know stinky monkey passing the brambles. Some of them these ones as the bit further up the good ones. I saw a black one yesterday, a black blackberry, it's a sign the blackberries will soon all be ready one has gone ahead of the others to see what it's like, the others still green, like you are, has stone clear as till you start paying that £500. Pum up, that I mentioned it was Pum up, I think it was for month I think works that annually by mistake. Nobody worth it and remember you do get extra tips but it's still 55 days away

presumably I carry on doing this podcast daily half way through the year more than halfway through and managed to do it so far so it'll be a shame to let go I'm pretty good once I start something I'm pretty good. Once I start something I'm pretty good at taking it all the way. That's a pretty stunt hearing section intercourse once I've started it. Pretty good at getting to the end. Nearly 100% success rate in that for myself of course. Which is is all that matters here we go look at the brambles yeah nice black and red one yeah but mainly still green it was to think about there's a nice black one why does someone come out early than others it's not after it's not

the podcast that asked questions about organic material and yet today almost entirely about organic material what's going on that's some good stones hit they all just smallish of course because you know I've not been not doing I've not been doing nothing for the last five years I have along it is I've been clearing stones so you would take no stones to be here but the stones doth grow The wise man doth know, the stoned's doth grow as the seed you sow, as a feed you fow sprout or grow, but the wise man shakes his head and face. What dof the foolish man, foolish man, nothing, he's the answer to my own question because I live stones do grow. Parable of the wise man and the foolish man and the scrolling stones there, another medieval.

One of the mystery plays I think that would take the taken from the mystery play. I think I've got it by now, but so used to living in this century now that I started to talk like you people. Oh I said too much. I've given away too much. I've all been living in the park more than the 20th century, just to sum to. But I've always, as a stonkler, I've always been 21st century, obviously, a bit crazy. Some people have said, well, how do you know all these songs and rhymes and poems and pieces of wisdom that don't seem to be written down anyway? And I say, not because I've time traveled from the 15th century that's what you're thinking. And they say, I don't know, I was thinking you'd press potty made him up. Oh yeah, let's just say some kind of improvisational genius

and could just make up stuff like that. Yeah, let's say that, yeah, that's better than you finding out the truth, who I really am. Been known by many names, many different times. It could be Merlin. names many different times. It will be Merlin. Geefuf, I was known as that. I'm having not so much. And we're in the pleasure dome, the moment, it's probably tell from my

excited and pleasure to reactions, pleasure dome if the moment, it's probably tell from my excited and pleasure to reactions, pleasure dome with you like touching wheat. That's where we are. Two sides of wheat, even though I've got the dog poo in one hand, we're in a bag. God, people have discussed me move the things you think. Um, first, yeah, wheat, just the fingertip height. Beautiful. Should we do the long walk? Should we go around the long way? Oh, but I forgot to tell you it was ages ago where I stopped doing the other podcast.

It's down the bottom. Ah, we're now coming to the stone across from the main can. It's in the can, across from the main can. Oh, we've got to do this ridiculous traverse through the wheat, the Theresa May section. I've been a bit wheat on both sides here, but there is a path that once we get to this side of the path, it just becomes, well, we're just walking over

the can across from the main can. And the slippage is a result of the walking the walking here and keep that out of the way. And yeah we basically just have to walk through wheat fields to get around this bit. And it's the age old problem. There are already cleared stones falling back onto the path and the path is not even not even a path is just the edge. Coming off just to add something that I wasn't sure. Check this is still running at the old foot if we lost any of this gold. Seems to still be going. There's a couple of feathers.

I'm going to clean those. My job is to stunk it. Oh, look at that one. Oh, it's really dimmed in the ground. And then get it out. I think my ducks on today. Oh, the ducks really dimmed in the ground. And then get it out. I think I'm going to dab this on today. Oh, the darts have done it. Best stone of the day. Look at that.

Oh, it's best stone of the day. Oh, yeah. I wonder if all those people who were, who saw talking to themselves walking down the street in the 1970s or just in podcast. Maybe they were. maybe just preparing material, could have had a little take recorder, thought one day we better put these out online. People would like to listen to someone just witching them out of the beauty, I know that's made my day, that's clear. So I also thought I wouldn't get the stone out. But you have to remember the story of Robert the Bruce and the stone. Robert the Bruce lost against the English.

That's his right. He went hidden the cape because he was a scotch coward. And then he saw a stone on the ledge beside him. And the stone was just sitting there. And then he looked at the stone again, stone was just sitting there. There he looked at the stone again, still just sitting there. He looked at third time and the stone was just sitting there and Robert the Bruce. Learned the lesson from the stone just hitting that cave for the rest of his life.

The scotch cow, he was, and the English, the bankwished, the enemy, and rolled over them for the next 800 years. I don't know how long ago that was, the historian wasn't alive in whatever century that was, unless it was the century I was alive in, because it was, and I wasn't, because I didn't do that. My stone clear there, little pebble, because we're walking sort of a little into the field. We can't spot between the wheat. Look quite a lot of stones but I'm stopping to pick the occasional one up because we had for the sea and ring and tree.

Look at how there's quite mossy here. And very definitely need for me to get back into shape, but I have to say. Well, that's a nice one. The ground is just damp enough that you can call it on most things out of the ground. That's going into the brambles and the their tools that you will know about side meat in your mental map of the field that you would have created over a last hundred and forty-five episodes. Oh look at that, didn't even get out of that wall. I don't know, it was going to come up.

Yeah, that's... Sometimes, the stones aren't ready for you my friends and that was one of the cases that was stone. The flat top was visible to every who passes by but the rest of it far underground. I've got a nice small medium for the small medium for the senior ringing tree, oh it bounced back off, it still fell near enough for the very fact to see it if they wish. It's Brad's working for the fighting you way through, I mean I've got a new admiration for these and they, but that's just working your way through wheat, because it's a a bit like when you go running on sand. You can't just fight clearing. Just a little bloody dog shit. Come on, keep going, shitter.

You big shitting shitter. You have to shit everywhere. You can't be like me. You have do do shit, I do shit everywhere. It's the, it's the pop called in the kettle. A shifter there. A pad to pin. So this works. That's what, that's what first made us come together really was a mutual love clearing our bowels and then we moved on to clear our stones

so walking has stride all the lines of wheat here it's now suddenly at this part of the field it's not as high as it was so not even brushing my one testicle It's not as high as it was so not even brushing my one testicle. It's in an egg shaped egg colour stone here. Let's see if it's an egg notes a stone. And it goes into the bush. Oh, it's a bit nice, a bit of chipped off flint. That's a nice size as well.

Meet small medium. Apart from that one amazing stone I kicked up with the power of my feet we were just clearing the remaining shrapnel till we then move on to the next meter square mainly into the fields. And now the wheat has got higher in its now very much brushing my test. It was quite nice. I was wearing no pants at all. I think this might be quite neurotic experience because I'm wearing pants and trousers. Oh, just picked up a nice medium small. It might chafe a little bit against the sensitive glands of the penis, but it's something that will enter that, not me.

That's why I've got my trousers on. I mean you wouldn't know if I'd take them off. To be fair with you, it's an audio only adventure, but you'll have to trust me. See if you can hear my, see you can hear probably there, the fabric. And you might say well that's just you holding some fabric by the week to make it sound like that, but you're like that could still be your gentle and it isn't Stop stop, we're lining me Then what do you people think of me?

Another stone there Fallen from its nest kicked it back roughly towards where it should be No stone snazzy But I heard a voice from the accompanying part, but I'm not sure about it. So I'm clearing to my heart still I tear. Just throwing into the bushes, no rhyme, no reason.

Throwing into the bushes with no rhyme or refund. For it be, don't live in free fun. Your free fun is left behind as you clear the starry stones, you find. You start yeast-owns, you find. Your rhyme is also not here. There's no time, then we want to drink some beer, to turn it into verse, what could be worth. So we continue without rhyme or even.

Because we have an e-sign. It doesn't enter well, there's a good song left there. You know, in the medieval songwriters, there were no rights that became songwriters in the modern era. Often we just ran out of time to finish, to have the first thing that came into their head for the rest of the good, wouldn't it? Again, you're not speaking from experience of being there when that was written. experience of being there when that was written. Very much a lowlander. Oh wow, crazy mushrooms. I thought there were stones. This is something very important to look at, but I'll take a picture of this because you could easily confuse these for stones.

Touch them, be poisoned poisoned it's what this stone stasie want this is what to look at are these some stone is that a picture of some stones there is more there these are dangerous danger of well here comes a chopper to chop off your head and just as I was doing that see they knew that I'd warn you. They have man in this stripy shirt. Here's where the dog pretends not to notice me. Just to think I'm some weird man singing and talking to himself. What beets they hit? What beets?

Look around there, I can't be quick. What would you need to forest? Sentin' you to be in forest, since he's been in blood. What a beat! Did it again as I said that, thinking might really hear me. Don't know how loud I'm talking the bad friends on. I haven't seen that stone as I remember before. It's quite jaunty dressed in red and pale blue or white stripes,

swarfy, very keen to meet with his dog, it's not going to happen. My dog will only mate with the dog of Onus who's as pure. Also, she's been done so. She doesn't have that. Okay. Alright, it's kicking up another nice medium swall, but that's not bad, it's ants all over it. Get rid of that quick, or the ants get onto me. A lot of ants do lay and wait for stone clairs.. Obviously the stone is a little nutritional value to an ant, but an ant can feast on a stone clearer, sometimes reducing to a skeleton by the time they're home. They go so slow to the stone clear, it doesn't even know, gets home. The partner goes, but how did why every time you go a skeleton, the stone tube doesn't even know gets home the part that goes what I had it why every time you go to the skeleton the stone tube goes oh god and then

falls into pieces until he realized he was eating he carried on some amazing thing about the human body and the human psyche or the car driving through that's most unusual they sort of ran with stuff on the back, not of the field, which is the next doorfield. You don't see that often when there's a set of plows, the time of the plows has come. It's a true story about the ants. I've friend friend happened, went to Turkey, came back completely by stone ants and only realized he was when he got back into his living room, opened the kitchen door his wife was sitting at the table, she went, why are you a skeleton even? What? I'm not a skeleton. I'm a fella part, true story.

So be careful what I'm saying of the stone ants. I haven't warned you about those before. That's why you have to listen. You can't just get to chapter one four four I think oh I know it all now he can't teach me anything else stone ants they're most dangerous creature known to mankind because you underestimate them just like people underestimate me there's a stone clear people look at me and say Richard Herring could never clear all those stones off that field. Look how much he's done in five years, nothing. Maybe that's what I want you to think.

Haven't picked up any stones along this path, by the way. Too busy warning about stone ants. So I'll pick up a couple now. Take it on the can in the middle of the field. One of my more successful cans, if I do see for myself, don't like to blow my own stone trumpet. Obviously it's exciting about the stones because I'm holding on to them, she thinks they're going to...

There's three here, wolves, there's two of them, quite like arrowheads from various centuries and one of them just their kneecap of a I don't know smaller dog than you that's not a threat so you know it's been modest the stuncaring so far a couple of beauties we've learned about mushrooms we've learned about stone ants, it didn't take pitch modest the stonecaring so far, a couple of beauties. We've learned about mushrooms, we've learned about stone ants, it's a stintate picture of the stone ants. I don't think you'll really read that a microscopic camera, that's so tiny. And one of them might be on me now chewing away. That's the fear every day.

You live in fear for so many reasons out here. In the wild, you're probably sitting there in your office with your proper job and your seat and tie. You can never dream before I'm going through here. I'm sticking up at the puff I really wanted to get but again. Don't have the equipment with me today and kick from my simple dab. Did not do the job that that's that stone size you guys move your pace and tell you he's right in the kick from my simple dab. Did not do the job that. That stone saws you guys, moves you know, takes a tell, he's right in the corner of the field.

Always like he wasn't interested in me at all. Brilliant, sub-diffuse. I've been extract to be long enough to nearly get eaten by stone ants. Stone ants. Beware of the stone ant, he lives beneath the stone. He'll come and get you when you least expect it and eat you before you are whole. He won't do it alone. He'll bring along all of his brethren and they will eat you quickly and your soul won't go to heaven.

So you're full of a said soul because I just thought you'd be confused. You know why I went my folder and what's my folder. Anyway there we are, tenth centric silver, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, 10th, My mum with a midwitch cookover, a grown midwitch cookover. When it's unlike, I don't think my mum knows any midwitch cookers. I guess she did, I think she'd stay away. She's a cautious lady. Alright, one of five. The last stone pole started well. And then ended as a disaster, didn didn't it then we lost contact for a

second just recapping on the last episode and we lost chapter that was if you weren't paying attention we used Mr. Ford's sleep to and probably were asleep by this stage but again don't know why I'm recapping it now because you'll love your sleep already by this day. Nice to do the long, long clear. I've got a big poo there. Stay away from there, I'm going to try and get some stones from that patch. There's that big black poo on it. I'll wait for the nature to take its cuckse. You might think putting poo on stones, I'll wait the stones unclearable, but the stones outlast the poo. The stones outlast the poo. It's just what they always do. They wait with patience and with guile and you will find in a little while the than it was before the poof and a

pony and that means you can wear it in your e-stub on it. And once again the stones out with the people with the fit. That's shit at the end obviously with a hit. I'm getting some remembering some good songs for them. Alright I've got five stones as well. Another one I've got Poo on, some I've got mud on which may have traces of Poo on. I'm weak but you, when you think about it probably every piece of soil on this planet and every stone on this planet, it's probably been weed on or pooped on by something at some point, maybe it's up in Antarctica, buried beneath the palm of hermaphrost, with a stone as yet unsullied Like out

I don't think as any stones up there Big tall ice one of them is in it right here. We are stone pulp Oh no, I'm to my poo bag Jesus have become my nose people will drop my poo bag. I'm not going back. One at one. Two out of two wasn't even trying. I tried it and I missed two out of four. This is the important one. Three out of five. Can I see it? Because there's a poo bag tied around my lead, I thought that was it. I'm very sorry to the people of Hartfordshire. Next time I'm coming around I'll look at for that and I'll clear it away.

Look, these things can happen, we can't blame ourselves with the local face group. But group is going to go fucking ballistic when it sees that Luckily there's no evidence it was me They need the secret password to get into this podcast which only true stone terrorists Just taking a break. Still going, still going, still blowing. I think, let's just check this out. We still going, we still blowing. I think let's just check this out. We're still going, we're still blowing. We're still all knowing like Jesus. And if that... Well it's been a much more fruitful stone-cleaning the yesterday, so I'm glad this is the one you've ended up here.

There's a case near Duffel, I think it's very occasional. And it's just sometimes just not worth your time to listen to it. But I will do my best to take those podcasts. And yeah, I know, so I'm gonna say, what rich isn't that everyone? Cheeky beggars, I don't think you'd be an episode Chapter 145 If this wasn't a

Sintillating and brilliant podcast would you think you said you've this in the first one gone what the fuck is this shit and Then stopped I don't think anyone did that. Oh, there's a butterfly with a bit of its wing missing, oh, a sweet heart. It's trying to fluff to buy, but you can only go a little way close to death. I could put it out of its misery, but doesn't it amissable? I don't know if there's pain sensors in those wings. It's just unable to operate properly as a butterfly. And the question there

is, is it better to snuff out the short life of that butterfly? And so it doesn't exist or allow it to live a few hours more. It experience this wonderful existence, we'll all be like that butterfly one day, moments, hours from death, would you say, always in be the pain, let's stamp on him, no, let him enjoy. For the last few breaths, the last few glimpses, this beautiful planet. Before he returns to the void from whence he came, why are we here for this brief, this brief butterfly flit, we change from our fetus in the womb to a human butterfly, we fly around a bit, sometimes a bit of our wing comes off, we fly less steadily, and we go, but why? You know why? You know why we're here, and you know if you failed, in the endeavour, we got here my friends, the clear stones.

And if you realise that, your life will have meaning. I'm not sure that my cam in the can that's on the other field. It's still there, I can't see it. It's all might smashed it. It's a little something there but it looks slightly in the wrong place. What's big is it used to be? Who would do that? Who would do that to an artist? Look, such as I.

Right, looking for a stone for the... Brexit ditch. It's the ditch that got Nigel Farage kicked out of Coots. Can only have a net west account now and he's furious about it, but he's a man of the people with his Coots account, so I'm sure people will get behind him in support of this noble wonderful guy but the Brexit ditch for some reason carry against him very much against him so Brexit ditch then alpha and I will get in maybe in the email then we'll be home and free you'll be off to the land of not-

I had a dream that I was with Ricky Devase and he got killed in a terrorist attack. Just this morning, just before I woke up. I was sad for Ricky. That should have been the point that I realised it was a dream. I'm joking, I do not want wrecked a base to be killed. But if that comes true, know that know what Ioo thwa. Oh, that means, just looking, I've got one stone to the other and I can, it just feels a bit stingy. What do I have to do? Let's just, something here.

Ah, this should, one check. Do keep checking, don't get complacent do you look out for those stone for Stasi can we see where this south one I'm a Ken is I've just been thrown blindly into this rough area there was a clink there so I think I found it but it's covered in nettles not John nettles he might be in touch or so we'll find out. We'll find out, imminently. So we're heading down that passage. Back to your time.

Interesting, I have a time travelling portal that takes me from Medieval Times to present day. I said a Med time, see. Just a ton of lucky emails now, I've got signal again. It's a capacity of everyone that's wondering why the emails have come through earlier. Maybe because of that. You won't be able to earn the emails on your phone anyway, because it's magical signal. Now quite a lot come in.

I don't recall any. Thank you. So this is the email from Doganus Cloud. Doganus, Doganus, Doganus, I guess, sorry, let me explain. It was Dogan. I know, Poggis, that would probably add in that out. Doganiness Cloud probably comes from Portugal somewhere. Hi Rich, my name is Dogginess Cloud. So dogginess Cloud, people often mispronounce at the first time. And they realize it must be dogginess. My question to you is a good one. So I hope you're looking forward to it. I am.

Just that you know I am looking forward to it. You could just read it. Yeah my red swans break up. Is there any... He's really like this very stop-ultimate stuff. Is there anything that makes clearings, stones in the summer? That's difficult. Yeah, there is dog in us. You're not even having to listen to the boxers. It's hard because there's crops everywhere and the ground is hard.

There's never really good time for something. The winter is too cold to grow it hard. It's like the Goldilocks effect. All the way. There we are. Back home. Thank you, dog and us for your message. All right, to our home. I'll leave it there for now. I'm back with an island of white next week.

There you go. We'll see. All right, guys. It's otherwise, goodbye, even though you don't clear in. Take care. Don't live unto the birth and tree. Don't live unto your underpants. Live unto the dove. Live unto the dove. And they interned for a lippermint to ye my friend, my friend.

Stone-clooring with Richard Herring starred me, Richard Herring amp, whooed for the dog. Also featuring that man in the striped top. We don't know who he was. The music is by Mike Coffgrave, the voice of the Patons is Michael Faheem. Don't let them go, my friend, and they fall, they're married as don't live unto the birth and truth don't live unto your underhand. Live unto the foes, Listen to the songs, listen to the songs, and they intern for livin' to ye my friend, my you