Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE from Edmonton
Episode Date: October 22, 2015Recorded live from Improvaganza in Edmonton, Alberta on June 25, 2015 with guests Kayla Lorette and Sean Lecomber. Photo by @ryhei on instagram....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hey everybody!
Welcome to our show at Improvaganza!
My name is Dave Shumka, and I'm here by myself this time.
I gotta tell you, driving from the airport was crazy.
So,
oh, someone's at the door. Let me get that.
Hey, everybody! Oh, it's my buddy, Graham Clark, everybody.
Look what I found backstage.
Oh, man.
We had a door, so we wanted to use it.
Yeah, it paid off.
We talked hard.
We talked earlier.
How do we work in the door?
Oh, I don't know.
Why don't I flail for a while and you can come knock on it.
Guys, we're so happy to be in Edmonton.
Such a treat.
It's nice to be here with all the chandeliers.
So many chandeliers.
I'm most at home when I'm on the set of Phantom of the Opera.
Oh, is that right?
Yes.
I'm most at home when I'm on the set of Phantom of the Opera.
Oh, is that right?
Yes.
Did you know that the Phantom of the Opera is here?
Where?
Inside your mind.
It's true.
Welcome, everybody.
Yeah, welcome.
Thank you.
We like to start off the show with a little bit of pandering.
You know, just stuff for cheap applause.
Like earlier tonight, we were up on White Avenue.
Drinking Alberta Pure Vodka.
Backstage, we were rubbing each other with petroleum products!
Made from the fossilized remains of dinosaurs!
Yeah.
Oh, I gotta tell you, all the women in Edmonton are beautiful.
Yeah.
They all look like Mark Messier!
Woo! Woo!
This is great.
It's great to be here.
I mean, the only other thing we really do that panders to the audience.
Is what?
I mean, it's the thing we learned from Ellen.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
We went, Dave, a lot of people don't know this. Dave and I went to an Ellen DeGeneres day camp.
Yeah.
Where she was, like, because she does a lot of special things on the show that really get people into the show.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going to have a big cash money booth later.
Yeah, yeah.
And don't look under your seats now, but at the end of the show.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
There's a ghost under one of your seats
but yeah
we learned this from the Ellen DeGeneres
day camp
what's that?
dancing with the audience
greetings loved ones
let's take a jump
I know a place Greetings, loved ones. Let's take a jump. Sipping gin and juice Laying underneath the palm trees
The birds break their necks
Trying to creep a little sneak peek
You could travel the world
Oh!
How does she do that?
I feel like I'm gonna die.
That was too much.
You broke the chair.
You know what?
I'm using someone else's microphone.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, the problem is...
Guys,
we've arranged for six minutes of panting I found a better chair in the audience
The perks of not selling out
Oh man
So Dave Yeah Oh, man. So, Dave.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Damn, I want my final words to be recorded.
Okay.
I'm dying.
I literally will be sweating eight hours from now.
Not me
Linen
Well we flew in today
Yeah
And
I missed it
Before we get started
Oh what
Let's keep cutting each other off
Yeah
Does anyone
Does everyone know
Who
Applaud if you know
What this show is.
There's some crossed arms in the audience.
And now applaud if you do not know what you're seeing.
All right.
It's weird, right?
Because this is it.
It's this.
No refunds.
It's two guys talking to two ghosts
They'll talk back when they're ready
So we flew in today
Yeah, what was your favorite part?
Come on, get to it
Dave was texting illegally on the plane
Which is my favorite thing when somebody breaks plane rules.
And he gave me minute-by-minute updates of a young kid throwing up several rows ahead of us.
Yeah, yeah.
They gave this kid milk on a plane.
Milk!
That's what kids drink.
Did you even know that planes had milk?
That seems crazy.
We should have thought about the dancing before.
No, you know what?
You go when the spirit moves you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But how does she stay so dry after doing all the dancing?
You think they cut and then powdered her down?
She wears like an athletic shoe.
Oh yeah.
Too heavy. I know, right?
But that was a lot of fun.
And let's not rule out the possibility of doing
it again.
But Dave and I,
we figured that if you're in the sky
that you should only be able to drink
milk that comes from sky animals.
And the only one that occurred
to us was bats.
The only mammals. So that's why
the kid was sick, I think.
Is they drank the milk and then
they looked on the container where usually
there would be a picture of a cow who's a bat.
Like if you're
in a submarine, you get to have dolphin
milk. Yeah. Or dolphin milk. Yeah.
Or squid milk.
Ink.
Or as the landlubbers call it, ink.
Yeah.
Did you know that hippo milk is pink?
Okay.
Yeah.
So you don't even need to put in strawberry quick.
Sure.
Just is the way you like it. Did you put food coloring in milk just for fun as a kid? No. Oh. Sure. Just is the way you like it. Did you put food coloring
in milk just for fun
as a kid?
No.
Oh.
No.
No, I never did that.
I really...
I'm asking the tough questions.
This is some
gotcha journalism.
Did you?
Yes.
Oh, fun.
I would make milkshakes.
Yeah. But then I would also just put milk in the blender with green food coloring i don't know why it wasn't enough to just stir it no oh no it's a
whole process um but anyways this kid threw up but this kid don't point at me this kid
the truth of the story was it was Dave that was throwing up.
But the way Dave described it
was the mother of the kid
opened the tiny,
way too tiny to throw up in a bag.
We can all agree that that's too small.
Have you never thrown up in one of those bags?
I mean, yes.
Was it enough?
And no.
Have I thrown up a round one?
Yes
But I think that's what was happening
She was trying to catch
Yeah
But that's implied
What happened was she was holding it
Because she was like this kid's going to throw up
I know it
I got the kid facing her on her lap
Like a two year old
And holding this bag
Holding the kid with one hand The bag with the other hand facing her on her lap, like a two-year-old, and holding this bag,
holding a kid with one hand,
the bag with the other hand,
and then I just heard, like,
a clamor of paper, like, crumpling.
Like, gotta get it in the right spot.
Yeah.
Nope. Missed it.
But then we thought that would be a great game show game,
would be catching, like, clam chowder out of a spout with a paper bag.
But it would, like, it would be coming out of a spout shaped like a person's face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A baby's face.
A giant baby's face.
But it's only if you didn't get trivia right.
So the first half of the show is all very academic,
and then the second half is...
The questions are like, what color is hippo milk?
Depends on what food dye you put in it.
And you saw something fun at the airport.
Which one?
Oh, the people in the food court?
No, no.
In the security line.
I don't even remember.
I didn't see it.
You told me.
Oh, the...
It was so fucking weird.
I've never seen this before.
So, like, sometimes you go through security, right?
And they say you got to go in the giant metal tube of embarrassment.
It'll take a picture of your genitals and send it off to God knows where.
Or you can be pat down by an official, right?
And so some people say, yeah, give me be pat down by an official right and uh so some people say yeah give me the pat down so this one lady was taken away to be pat down and then she was brought back over to her stuff
and she hugged the agent the fuck happened in that pat down yeah
she puts on some nice music like i don't think an agent has ever been
hugged in their lives.
That's why they went into that line of work.
Or do you think the woman was like,
let's see how you like it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now who's patting down who?
I love you.
We are friends.
The other thing was hilarious.
We were sitting in a food court,
and there was a lady and guy fighting about
that they were so hungry.
And then I didn't realize that the guy
was holding a kid on the front of his body.
They were having a fight,
and then when he turned around,
the kid was like 16.
Like, it was the oldest kid I've ever seen strapped.
Come on.
How old do you think that kid was?
That kid was a year and 11 months.
No, no way.
That was the most giant kid then ever.
Yeah, yeah, big kid.
Like her feet were,
she was holding him up at one point.
He bent forward
and then his feet were off the ground.
Like in a footprints poem?
Yeah.
In the food court
where there was only one set of footprints.
I
carried you on my back.
Signed, The Strong
Teenage Baby.
Teenage Baby?
Oh, man.
That was like one of those shitty little
comics that they would put between Archies.
Like, little
jinx and teenage baby.
Teenage baby thinking about doing drugs.
Yeah.
It would be very difficult.
Because being a teenager is hard enough.
And being a baby, way difficult.
But going through those two changes of life.
those two changes of life.
Oh.
Wearing like headgear and a binky.
Yeah.
Oh, brother.
And also going through
your goth phase.
Oh, goth baby.
Queuet.
Yeah.
You're getting makeup
all over your favorite teddy.
Well, this is the best thing
we've ever come up with.
Did I talk about hippo milk?
Nope.
Oh.
It's pink.
Oh, just like
because hippos are girls
and rhinos are boys.
Rhinos have blue milk.
Well, my parents gave me the talk.
That's how they explained
it to me.
They said, Graham, you're basically
a rhino.
And all girls
are basically
hippos.
Guess which one's more dangerous than the water.
You'd be surprised.
And then that's why I'm not great with ladies,
still to this day.
Because I don't know.
I just know to stamp out a fire if I see it.
That's a thing rhinos do.
Should we bring out our guest?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our first guest,
improviser extraordinaire,
writer, comedian,
just all around
favorite. One of my favorite people.
Please, welcome to the stage
Miss Kayla Lorette, everybody.
There she is.
Come on. Yeah, there it is.
She knows.
Welcome.
Hi, guys.
How are you?
So good.
Thanks for being on the show.
Thanks for having me.
Hey, guys.
Yeah.
Do you want to get to know us?
I do.
Get to know us.
Still good.
Yeah.
Still good after all these years. A classic hit. Still good after all these years. A classic hit.
Still good after all these years.
Old Blue Eyes.
I love it.
Oh, remember when we got
Frank Sinatra?
I was going to say
Frank Shakespeare.
Oh, Old Blue Eyes,
Frank Shakespeare.
The Bard of Hoboken.
Yeah.
Gone too soon?
Kayla?
Yeah, hi. Hi, how are you? Good, how are you guys? Yeah, hi.
Hi, how are you?
Good, how are you guys?
Well, great.
Thank you very much for being on the show.
Thank you so much for having me.
This is thrilling.
So you're here, you're for,
you're doing all the improvaganza.
You're doing shows tomorrow night,
you're doing shows the night after.
Sunday night, that's church.
That's church.
That's church, you can't improvise
The church of true detective
Oh yeah
I feel like this second season is going to be a lemon
There, I said it
I don't even care that Vince Vaughn is here
tonight
He's mad, he's mad
Isn't he always though?
What a trash bag, hey?
Do you think so?
Was there ever a time when you thought, Vince Vaughn, cool guy.
Yeah, yes.
Okay.
I feel like I...
Young Vince Vaughn?
Young Vince Vaughn before he just, you know, got just fridge shaped.
Yeah.
He's cute.
Yeah.
And he was like a fun...
I thought he would have been bald by now, not fat.
No, that's true.
Not that he's that fat.
All right, fat police.
No, no, no.
Fat police.
He's got a man's body now.
He had a boy's body and a man's hairline.
Yeah.
He, what was the...
Apparently I'm the only one who remembers young Vince Vaughn.
No, I mean, we all saw...
Just loving it over there.
We all saw Swingers, right?
Swingers is the example where you're like,
hmm, yes, you know?
And then just flattened out, I guess.
The interns, yikes, didn't see it.
Oh, the internship, the Google one?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's good.
Is it?
Yeah.
Dave, have you seen it?
What kind of good? I wonder
if, because it was like sponsored
by Google, right? Yeah, it's like they're
looking through. I wonder if you type
in a Google search for it,
if it's like the internship, it auto-completes
too. It's great!
Google. It was the first film
directed by Google.
They just put in a script
into the computer computer and then it
spat out all this fucking nonsense
and they were like, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Google doesn't know how to direct.
Have you seen it? Have you seen
the internship? No.
Have you seen it? I haven't, no.
Oh, I have, so there.
And? Yeah, no, it's
terrible.
It's nonsense. It's nonsense.
It's like, because they're competing for an internship, right?
At Google.
Yeah.
And it's like a bit old.
Is that kind of what it's about?
Yeah.
Kind of that?
That was the tagline.
You two?
It's him and owen wilson yeah and it's just you know he meets a girl that's does anybody here seen the internship yeah it's not it's nonsense right yeah it's pure
nonsense that there's one part where like there's a lady she works at Google she's one of the top people
on earth right
working at Google
she's our better
she falls for Owen Wilson who's like
an old encyclopedia salesman
or something like that
so they're all like they come from the old
media
and it's like oh they're teaching us something
one guy works for
a map company yeah oh well great yeah great so what's new and do they have a joke in there
about like oh the computer keeps crashing i know some people who used to crash weddings. Oh. Because they did that.
They did that.
Two CG versions of them show up?
Is that what it is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Weirdly shaped.
Not right.
Something not right.
What's new and exciting?
I'm here in Edmonton.
It's great.
First time?
No, I've been here a few times before.
I like it a lot. Chairs are really squeaky.
Yeah, real squeaky chairs.
Not mine.
It reclines.
This guy.
So I'm here.
First day here,
saw so many shirtless men.
What's going on, guys?
So much freedom about this. saw so many shirtless men. What's going on, guys? Yeah, let's break it down.
So much freedom about this.
So I saw three shirtless men right away,
and then one man...
At the airport.
Yeah, at the airport.
Pilots.
Saying goodbye to me.
I'm like, I don't know.
They still have those little wings on their shoulders.
Just stabbed into that skin.
Ugh, hot up here.
New kind of like Chippendale dance.
Yeah.
Drinking a milk.
Enjoying.
And I saw one gentleman, I'll let him have that,
wearing like an athletic jacket on backwards
and then
had only done up the top
button in the back, so just kind of like a
beautiful lower back
display. Arguing
with a shirtless man.
Do it like this!
This is the new way!
Cool.
Oh, man.
Yeah, great.
There's not enough shirts that show off the man's back.
So few.
Like, give me a look.
Yeah.
Sometimes I'll just turn a V-neck around just to show off what I got.
Show off your tramp stamp.
What's going on in Edmonton
re-shirtless dudes?
Is that just a thing that's happening?
The heat?
The fight?
What?
That's true.
Let the sun kiss my chest.
And my lower back.
A-S-A-P.
Have you, when we got information about the festival,
one of the pieces of information was like,
hey, and there's a pool at the hotel, so we could all go swimming.
And Graham was like, nope, no, sir.
No, you know.
Graham won't go shirtless in a private place.
No, I'm very ashamed of my body.
Hey!
Come on, no, don't you fight me on this.
This is my thing.
I realized the other day
I was just thinking about it
I was like, I bet you that my
upper torso skin hasn't seen the sun since I was a thinking about it I was like I bet you that my upper torso skin
hasn't seen the sun
since I was a kid
Really?
Yeah
I bet you my skin's
not unlike a mole's
Gross
Now
Now you're like
keep your shirt on
Have you thought about
going to see like
a mole scientist?
Like at the zoo?
Now are we talking about a scientist that pops up out of the ground?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, I have, Dave.
I have thought of this.
Do you go swimming at all?
No.
Never?
Nope.
Pot tubbing?
Nope.
You can go in a t-shirt.
Huh?
You can go swimming in a t-shirt.
Oh, nothing draws the attention faster.
So shy.
Wearing a giant t-shirt that's just dragging behind me.
They're like, are they closing the pool?
Kid trying to surface out of the water just under your t-shirt.
I'm doing it for the resistance.
Building up my swim bones.
That's why I'm wearing so many layers.
Get it?
Are you a big swimmer?
No.
No?
No.
Seemed like the direction the conversation was going. But whomer? No. No? No. Seemed like the direction
the conversation was going.
But who is?
Yeah.
Oh, Michael Phelps.
Yep.
Yes.
Huge swimmer.
Won't shut up about it.
No, I'm not a big swimmer.
Are you a summertime person?
Because there's people
that love,
like they love
the summertime.
Yeah.
And they get out in it
every day
and they're picnicking
and they're riding a bike.
Frisbees are in play.
Shirtless.
Shirtless.
They're wearing a backwards
athletic jacket.
Yeah.
Chasing each other
through the sprinkler.
It's fun.
Yeah.
I like summer.
Summer.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Summer.
It's fine.
No, it's great.
But there is like,
I feel like I don't participate
in the full,
like aggressive Toronto, like summer culture thing. there is, like, I feel like I don't participate in the full, like, aggressive Toronto, like, summer culture thing.
A lot of, like, pool hopping, like the going into pools late at night.
Oh, really?
Oh, this is fun.
I've never done it.
I don't, it doesn't sound that fun to me.
So this is illegal?
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
But it's, like, what all the cool kids do.
I don't know.
Don't let them pressure you into it. I know.
I also don't like wearing a bathing suit.
Yeah. So skinny dipping.
Yeah. So straight
naked for me.
Just climbing
a fence already naked.
Gobblining up
to go
get yelled at by a cop who's so tired.
Yeah.
Please go home.
Did I ever tell you about my brother?
My brother had a friend who's like
the classic, just like
hilarious slacker dude.
And he got a job as a
security guard
at an apartment building.
And all the,
like a bunch of kids
did that thing
where they broke in
and they were all
jumping around
in the middle of the night.
So he went over,
they were like,
called him up
and said,
you gotta go take care of this.
And he walked out
and he was like,
all right,
kids,
close,
close it down.
This is,
you're not supposed
to be doing that.
And they all started
shouting cannonball
and he jumped in. Close it down. You're not supposed to be doing that. And they all started shouting cannonball.
And he jumped in.
In his security uniform.
And his boss found him swimming with these kids.
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Deciding, like, do I want to be this guy?
Yeah.
Those people have the greatest story ever.
And then the security guard joined us.
I love that.
It was walkie-talkie in the bush.
Did he keep the job?
No.
Fired.
Fired immediately?
Yeah, immediately.
On site, probably.
But that's the way you'd want it, so you could continue partying, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you've never gone on one of these late night breaking into pool missions?
No.
But you're not tempted?
Maybe a bit, just to feel something.
Maybe.
Are you somebody that gets a giddy thrill at a break in the law?
Have you ever done anything like that?
I think the sinister part of me is way more about instigating trouble,
and then not being really the one who's focused on.
If I get drunk, I'm always like,
go do that. And pushing other people to do weird things, that's
this weird zone I get into.
Do you have an example
of something you've talked people into?
Do you have ten examples? I have ten examples.
Here we go.
No, I remember being...
There's this real scary bar that my parents frequent on Vancouver Island, which is where I'm from.
Thank you.
It's called the Wheat Chief.
Rough crowd in there.
And I was there with some friends and I got like a bit punchy and it was Christmas time.
And I was like, this would be weird. And then I made them steal all these Christmas decorations,
including a miniature Christmas tree
that this girl just stuffed into her tote bag,
and I was like, let's go.
And then the next day, it was so embarrassing and dumb,
and my dad had to return the small Christmas tree.
I just get all revved up and cause mild mischief.
That's fun though.
That's the fun kind of mischief.
Yeah.
I'm into like,
yeah, because I'm into that
like something that would be hilarious.
You know, like if you did something
and then people would be like,
oh yeah, somebody stole
our little Christmas tree.
Like that's probably the best story
that's ever happened in that place, right?
I don't know.
It's probably not.
There's probably a murder that they all did together.
Yeah.
But they vowed never to speak about it again.
There are some characters there.
There's a guy named Crazy Al who used to be a boxer, but I feel like that's not true.
And it has some kind of brain damage.
And he's just always haunting around in these T-shirts
that he's cut the arms off too low.
So you're always seeing a bit of nipple.
And he has a dog, passed away recently,
but his saying to the dog is to pet her and say,
I love what you've done with your hair.
If that's crazy, I don't want to be sane.
I like that a lot.
Great joke.
Yeah.
Nailing it.
Oh, wow.
That's the island, right?
That's all characters all the time out there, right?
Weird zone.
Are your parents?
They're characters. Yeah, they Weird zone. Are your parents? They're characters.
Yeah, they're characters.
Are they crazy? Do they have any crazy things they do?
What do they say to dogs?
Yeah, they got a new dog named Trevor.
The way
the way your eyes
Yeah, you said it like I don't think it's a great name,
and they love me a little bit more.
Or they love Trevor more than they love me.
They have fallen apart on the naming the pet game since I moved away.
They have a cat my mom named McLovin.
Oh, because she saw Superbad.
Moms love Superbad.
I was like, what are you doing?
She's like, he loves to love.
I'm like, yeah, but this is so lame.
Fine, we'll name the next one Trevor.
See how you like.
Oh, lordy.
Should we bring out our second guest?
Yeah, let's do that.
Yeah, absolutely.
This gentleman, for my money, one of the funniest comics in all of Canada.
Such a treat to have him here on the podcast.
Please welcome to the stage Mr. Sean LaComber, everybody.
Oh, backdoor.
Oh, backdoor.
I had no idea when I was going to do this.
Hi, welcome.
Good to see you.
Hi, Sean. Welcome, Sean. Hi. Welcome. Good to see you. Hi, Sean.
Hi.
Welcome, Sean.
Hi, everybody.
Yeah.
Good to be here.
Last time you were on the show, we know you like to commit crimes.
I love to steal.
Yeah.
Sean famously, like five years on the show, told a story about going to water parks and
just...
The Edmonton Water Park, yes.
And stealing things. And stealing things.
And stealing things from people's lockers.
Because they didn't pay for security
and safety.
Yeah, because what, was it a quarter that you put in?
Yeah, back then it was like a dollar,
but everybody was still of the mindset that you could just
put the money on the bottom of your
locker and a criminal
would get tired.
Well, ain't nothing but pants up in this. of your locker and a criminal would get tired after well
ain't nothing
but pants up in this
this will go on
to my next crime
so we would just
go bottoms first
that was our policy
yeah
boom
bottoms up
and you'd always
find money
so what's going on
lately
any new crimes
well you know what
I've matured slightly
oh yeah
I no longer steal
from other people's lockers.
Congratulations.
Other than that, nothing.
Other than not stealing,
I'm done.
Just thinking about stealing
all the time
is pretty much what I do.
You just came from a show.
You were doing a show
like outside.
Outdoors.
Which is kind of, to me,
that's death for comedy.
To be outdoors because
once you introduce anything else,
people are like, yeah, that!
Yeah.
Like you'll be in the middle of a joke
and they'll be like, everything else!
It was plus 30 and I had like squirrel
hecklers.
There was squirrels.
You know, they make that. and you don't even notice that
noise until you're trying to talk over them you don't even care you just ah the nature you know
you feel like ah i love it nature until you're like i they can't talk through that fucking part
of the joke or no one will laugh so yeah i got cut off by some squirrels and people it was okay yeah what was it what why were
you doing comedy outside just for money grant yeah that's the one somebody called that's the
key i'll give you money to do it and i was like yeah i love it i love stand-up
i'm not even as like you know i'm just a shitty philosopher you know but But I'm mediocrities.
Cool, man. But I did, I don't know,
I did it for money, but also my son's
teacher was there, and a lot of times
people think that you
love stand-up, you know?
They're under that
misconception.
So my teacher,
my son's teacher was there, and she's like, oh, you're the comedian for this comedy night?
And I was like, yeah, are you coming?
And she said no, and I was like, thank God you're not coming.
And then her reaction was like, why wouldn't you want me to see you perform?
And I'm like, no, because sometimes it goes so bad.
Yeah.
And then you have to see them in your everyday life going forward.
No, that's a one-off.
Normally I'm good.
I don't usually scream at squirrels.
And it changes the way people view you as a human being.
It doesn't just make them go, hey, enough night.
They're just like, no, he's terrible in life.
Then they tell everyone they know who knows you.
Oh, I saw it, and it is horrible.
Have you seen Sean?
I told him I didn't mind it, but I really didn't
like it.
And then they'll ask you things, are you still doing
the comedy?
Like they think you're trying to beat cancer.
Are you still
doing the comedy?
And you're like, yeah. And they're like, good for you.
Despite all
you faced. You're a fighter.
I knew you'd beat this thing.
Kayla, have you ever done a show outdoors?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, I feel like, because Becky Johnson, who I do the Sufferettes with.
Thanks, Dave. Because Becky Johnson Who I do the Sufferettes with Thanks Dave We've done some outdoor shows
Still light out
And if you think stand up's bad
Try meandering through a narrative
Just like trying to make people believe
You're another character
What's she being now?
What's she supposed to be in this one?
Bad.
And I think the particular show I remember was somewhere in Germany when we were touring
and all these baby crows kept falling out of this tree.
Oh, baby crows.
You thought squirrels were bad.
Yeah, they're like first day flying. They're like, first day flying.
I'm like, can you wait for this?
Can you wait for this sensational 45 minutes?
Oh, Germans love that stuff.
They love it.
That's not fair.
You shouldn't have to perform outside.
No, it's...
It is so funny.
They do that.
It's like Bard on the Beach.
It's outside.
And I always pictured, like, somebody doing Shakespeare and then, like, the sound of, like, a sea dew.
No, yeah.
Like.
I know my dog has barked at Shakespeare.
I've been there.
Like, in Toronto, watching some poor scum person trying to do Shakespeare
and the dog's not into it.
You're talking about Frank Shakespeare?
Old Blue Eyes?
Yeah.
It's rough. That sucks.
Because when you're in an enclosed environment,
you're bombing in that space.
So you're like, I just bombed on Earth.
The world. I bombed the world.
There's no way a person can be like, oh, here's an example of life and then just like, but then earth. The world. I bombed the world. Yeah, and there's no way a person can be like,
oh, here's an example of life,
but then all of the world.
There's just so much more beauty to look at.
Sometimes there's so much beauty,
I can't even handle it.
I know.
Oh, guys, you should see,
I got a thousand hours of video
of a plastic bag in the wind.
You guys should come over and show me your boobs.
That movie was the best picture that year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know, but every year when you go back
and you look at
whatever's the best picture,
you're like, come on.
Oh, yeah.
Because at the time,
you're like,
this is going to change the world. And then a year later, you're like, come on. Oh, yeah. Well, it's because at the time you're like, this is going to change the world.
And then a year later
you're like,
it didn't do anything.
It was just a bag in the wind.
I thought people
were going to be different.
I was ready for new normal.
Where's my new normal?
Oh, say bold normal, Billy.
But you got suckered
out of an hour and a half.
But like the year that Pulp Fiction came out, right?
Uh-huh.
Forrest Gump won the Oscar.
Yeah.
Well, that's fucking craziness.
What do you mean?
That Forrest Gump's fine.
But like, take anybody.
Okay.
Any strange, any piece of scum out of the park.
Yeah, yeah.
Any scumbag.
Show them both and you go, which one is better?
And they would be like, Forrest Gump.
Yeah, Forrest Gump.
See?
Twist at the end.
His mom dies.
Didn't expect it.
Yeah.
Didn't expect it.
No, if you're a 50 plus Christian, you're going with Forrest Gump.
No, you don't like all the rock and roll in it.
Yeah.
Yeah. You like Elvis had to dance his pelvis. Yeah, you don't like all the rock and roll in it. Yeah, yeah.
He likes Elvis had to dance his pelvis.
Yeah, yeah, you like the old time.
Yeah, maybe.
Music that Pulp Fiction has.
Chuck Berry.
Yeah, yeah, see?
And then they're like, I get this, because we used to do drugs.
Yeah, but then somebody
has to, then once the
heroin heart injection happens,
they're going to forget all about that whole little disco fun scene.
Yeah, think about the devil.
Yeah, think about that heroin thing.
Yeah, but by that time you already got their money.
You know what I mean?
This is a money-making scheme that I've been doing.
I say, come and buy attention.
Sorry, old Christian.
We already got your money.
I don't care if you hate this movie.
By the way, it's a backwards thing, so the end is the beginning and the beginning is the end.
Oh.
Forrest Gump?
Yeah.
Were you guys happy with Birdman winning?
Yeah.
Me too.
Yeah.
I was ecstatic.
I was like like we put up
you know those little team flags
that you can put in your car
we had Birdman team flags
I had
driving around town
stealing boyhood ones
I can't remember any movies
like to be like
oh no my neighborhood was
but I don't know
yeah
one of the nine
movies nominated
none of them
were world changers
yeah
I want new normal
yeah
I want my new
Burtman normal
I don't watch movies
what's Burtman about
it's good
it's about a play
Michael Keaton
yeah
yeah
changed
changed one girl's life
yeah my life
my new normal is
nuts
yeah it's great I love it um Changed one girl's life. My new normal is nuts.
It's great. I love it.
Have we ever covered what's up with us? Oh, here's what's up with me.
I checked into the hotel today.
Oh, it's the concierge here?
I check in and the guy notices my last name is Shumka. Oh, it's the concierge here?
I check in, and the guy notices my last name is Shumka.
And in Edmonton, if your name's Shumka, it's free drinks everywhere you go.
Really?
There's a big Ukrainian dance troupe here called the Shumka Dancers.
They pronounce it Shumka, but I do it.
I'm not going to change who I am.
There's also a restaurant in a food court called Shumka.
They also pronounce it Shumka. I went and I asked.
How do you pronounce it?
Oh, interesting.
I'll have
the cabbage roll.
So I check into the hotel
and the guy
checking me in is like,
oh, Shumka,
you know there's a dance troupe.
And I was like, yeah, I know there's a dance troupe.
The Spinning Daves.
Oh.
Oh, no.
And
he's like, have you seen them?
Did you notice the guy checking us in had a bit of an accent? Yeah, and he talked like that the you seen them? And did you notice the guy checking us in
had a bit of an accent?
Yeah, and he talked like that the whole time.
Yeah, with his fingers.
Everything was a spicy this.
And he was like,
oh, they're great, you should see them.
And the guy, there's a guy checking in next to me
and he's like, oh, I also have Ukrainian heritage.
They are great, you must see them. They're amazing. And I'm like, everyone's talking to me and he's like, oh, I also have Ukrainian heritage. They are great. You must see them.
They're amazing.
Everyone's talking to me about the goddamn
dancers.
And then the guy
checking me in is like,
oh, have you ever been to the Ukraine?
And I was like, no.
I'm from there.
I think people dance more here.
Back in the Ukraine, we don't dance
because there are other things to think about.
It's a sensible country.
No time for Ukrainian dance clubs.
It's like we've got things to think about,
which I took to mean Russia
Yeah
Ukrainian footloose
I don't think it's illegal
It's just frowned upon
What?
Don't you have beets to carry around?
The only beets these guys dance to
Are the root vegetables
Ladies and gentlemen The Shunka Dancer The only beats these guys dance to are the root vegetables. Hey!
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Shunka Dancers!
Da-da-dee-dee-dee.
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
I assume it's a lot of this.
They're just wearing more clothing.
They can't do it as long as we can.
They're very well dressed.
Who are? The Ukrainian?
The Ukrainian dancers.
And they're low.
It's hard on the knees and everything.
Oh, yeah.
Those people. Those types. Oh, yeah. Those people.
Those types.
Oh, yeah.
They're built a little differently from you and I, right?
Yeah.
Comrade.
So, yeah.
That's what's going on with me.
Cool.
That's pretty good.
You?
Here's the thing.
This happened last night in Vancouver.
And I don't scare easy, right?
If a group of teens are hanging out on my street, I'll walk right up to them.
I don't care.
I ain't giving a shit.
But...
This...
This...
Last night I was walking home.
And there was four people all hanging out on the corner.
And they were all wearing karate outfits.
What color belts?
I didn't wait to see.
I went the other direction.
I did a block.
I came around the back, walked along the side of my house,
and snuck in the front door.
This scared you.
Yeah, four karate kids.
They can only use it in self-defense.
They can only use it in self-defense. What? They can only use it in self-defense.
They can only use it in self-defense.
What?
They can only use it in self-defense.
Yeah, but what constitutes an attack?
I walk by and do this.
They're done.
Yeah.
That sounded threatening, though.
What's that?
That sounded threatening.
Four karate guys? No, that's noise.
I would have jumped you karate style.
I just pugged at you.
Struggling to breathe.
I used to, when I was unemployed for a long time,
I used to take my dog to this park all the time in the middle of the day.
And there were some kind of martial arts class.
I called it ninja school because they were wearing karate outfits, but it was all black.
Ooh.
And it would be pouring rain in Vancouver and so muddy.
And just these guys outside in the rain running as fast as they can up to each other and throwing each other.
Just using one's momentum against the other and getting so muddy.
I don't know what martial art it is.
Probably not even.
Just paddling around.
Just a couple guys who found some karate outfits.
That's great.
Taekwondo chi.
It's a mix of everything.
It's mixed martial art as well.
That's where that's from.
Should we at this point, should we move on to Overheard?
Oh boy, why not?
Let's do it.
Overheard.
Now, Overheard.
I know you guys are excited.
Now, Graham, what this is, it's a
segment where you go out... Dave, shut
up!
Because it's time for
my favorite segment of
the show. It is a segment
where I talk about a movie that was
shot in West Edmonton Mall
called
Christmas in Wonderland.
And I'll proceed.
Okay.
So it sounds,
I haven't seen such a movie,
but it sounds like a great movie.
Dave, shut up again!
It's time for my other favorite segment.
Graham reads from the IMDB page
Of the movie Theodore Rex
Do you guys know this movie?
Graham said he had two really good segments
When you hear the gold that's on Theodore Rex's IMDB page
You'll be thankful I tagged along on this trip.
I was going to do it solo.
I said,
no, I've got an idea.
Do you guys know Theodore Rex?
Do you guys know that film?
You know what?
Catch us all up.
Okay.
Theodore Rex was a movie
starring Whoopi Goldberg
where in the future
she's a cop who has to
team up with a dinosaur
Oh my god.
to solve a future crime.
Oh wow.
And
so this is the write up. In an alternate
futuristic society a tough
female police detective. Goldberg.
Detective. Is
paired with a talking dinosaur
to find the killer of dinosaurs
and other prehistoric animals.
Leading them to a mad scientist
bent on creating a new Armageddon.
So that's the write-up.
But the trivia is the best thing
that I've ever read on the internet.
First bit of trivia from Theodore Rex.
Whoopi Goldberg wanted to leave the film during production.
What happened between reading the script and being on set?
Wait a second. This script is amazing. Wait a minute. What happened between reading the script and being on set?
This script is amazing.
Wait a minute.
Theodore's voice is stupid.
I thought this was going to be realistic.
Can't find handcuffs big enough for this asteroid.
Crew members left constantly during production.
Whoopi Goldberg once said that on her final day of shooting, 99% of the crew was different from the first day.
Oh my god.
I love that.
What year was this?
This was 1995.
Wow.
Post Sister Act.
A year after Forrest Gump?
Yeah.
So she was rolling in Sister Act money.
And thought, let's dip into this dino realm.
And this dinosaur in the movie is a guy in a rubber suit, right?
Fair enough.
Because that'll inform this next bit of trivia.
Most of the actors signed on thinking the dinosaur would be computer enhanced.
Oh my Christ.
Oh, it came out right after Jurassic Park.
Yeah.
It's all about shading.
You'll just be acting with two tennis balls.
Just imagining the way the mouth must buckle
every time it talks.
Does the dinosaur wear
high tops? Yes.
He wears high top sneakers.
Oh, brother.
And finally,
where's the last one?
Jonathan R. Boutoul
retired from directing
after this film.
I'd like to announce my retirement
on the set.
Hi, everybody. I know it's our last
day, but also it's my last
day forever. Most guys just fade out.
He decided to have a press conference.
Try to lay low on the criticism of the movie.
I'm gone.
I'll never make another one, I promise.
Boutul?
Is that you?
They say he still wanders around Hollywood in a dino costume.
Can you imagine Whoopi trying to do her funny thing with a dinosaur?
Or like...
Trying to develop some thing with a dinosaur?
Trying to develop some chemistry with a fake raptor?
That's amazing.
Wearing sneakers, no less.
So there you go.
That was the IMDb Trivia Camp. You know, rats.
Great segment.
Now tell me about this Edmonton movie.
This Edmonton movie is a film.
It's set in Edmonton, but not in West Edmonton Mall.
Like, it is in West Edmonton Mall, but they call it Wonderland.
I guess maybe they couldn't get the rights to the name West Edmonton Mall.
Patrick Swayze is in it.
Chris Kattan is in it.
What is the guy from Jackass who was, like, the bigger dude?
Whatever his name was. I don't know.
What's that? Yeah, yeah. That's the guy.
Preston Lacey. He's in it. Tim Curry
is in it. So this is in a... What year?
Like 2003?
This is 2007.
Ooh. So this was maybe
Patrick Swayze's final...
Yeah. It was very close to his final
work. Yeah.
Some people say. crazy's final... It was very close to his final work. Oh, no.
Some people say.
Now, here's...
This is the one thing that I liked about it.
It's from the trivia. Usually in the trivia
section, it's like
interesting trivia
and stuff, but not this one.
Oh, no, it's not in the trivia. It's in the
goofs.
The goofs section.
Because these are errors made
in the movie.
Edmonton is under the jurisdiction
of the Edmonton Police Service,
not the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Goof.
Yeah, I know.
What a goof.
A lot of people walked.
When the family approaches the West Edmonton Mall, a situating shot shows traffic passing by the mall in the street.
A cyclist is clearly seen in summer riding gear.
Though care is taken to establish that there will be no snow for Christmas, it would definitely be still too far cold
in Edmonton
on Christmas Eve for cycling in
shorts.
Who wrote that?
What the hell? And finally,
Leonard and
Sheldon drive their motorcycle
through the second story window
overlooking the tidal pool
and land in the deep end.
In reality,
the window overlooks
the shallow end of the pool
where the water
only comes up to your ankles.
They would have landed on
solid concrete.
Wow.
So there you go.
That's my favorite segment.
Two favorite segments.
Yeah.
Now, what we're going to do, Wow. So there you go. That's my favorite segment. Two favorite segments. Good call.
Now, what we're going to do.
Do you guys have overheards?
Did we warn you about overheards?
Yeah.
Cool.
We're going to do a round of our overheards.
And then we're going to invite people from the audience to come up.
If you have an overheard, when we're done, we'll point to this microphone.
And you can go. I don't need to
over-explain it to these people. No, we got it.
Sharp crowd. Boom, boom, boom.
Would it be alright if we started with you? That's fine.
Alright. I'm going to start with an
overseen, though. Yeah.
If that's not too much.
Okay, so
this...
I had just voted.
Hey!
No? Cool, voted. No?
Cool, yeah.
No, thanks.
And I was feeling, like, very engaged and positive about myself.
And, like, I was connected to my city, province, country.
And I was coming out of this library, and I was thinking, like, you know what?
Like, the future's fine. It's going to be okay. And I was feeling like, this library, and I was thinking, like, you know what? Like, the future's fine.
It's going to be okay.
And I was feeling like, you know, it's great.
And I come out, and there's a high school near where I live.
A lot of teens walking around at lunch.
And I come out feeling all proud, and then what I see is a teen boy eating a bun covered in ketchup.
Just for his lunch.
And I was like, well, I don't know.
I just love the idea of like, the future's great.
I think the future's going to be great.
And then I saw high school.
Yeah.
I saw, oh yeah.
It's going to take time to implement the changes.
It's going to figure stuff out. All these kids haven't seen American History X yet.
I couldn't think of them.
I'm just going to be with a bag.
What was it?
American Beauty.
American Beauty Reacts.
American History X is, yeah.
But once these kids see American Beauty X.
Or American History X, too.
That's a good one.
That's a great one.
There's a lot of hope. There's curb stomping in there. Yeah. Not enough movies ever. It's the American Beauty X. Or American History X, too. That's a good one. That's a great one. There's a lot of hope.
Curb stomping.
Yeah.
Not enough movies ever.
It's nuts.
That's where white supremacists stopped watching the movie.
Yeah.
They're just like, that's the end of it.
The curb stomping.
We're done.
That's what we came for.
Hell of a movie.
We beat them at basketball.
It's over.
I want to know. I just saw the saddest face in the crowd
Sad
Just takes a bite of a ketchup bun
First they make fun of my ketchup bun
Someone trying to hide it under their chair
Catches the light
Because it's so glistening
Sean Have you got an overheard? or their chair. Catches the light because it's so glistening.
Sean.
Yeah.
Have you got an overheard?
Mine's kind of similar except mine's about
old people voting.
I was voting.
I didn't really feel engaged
or anything.
I just liked seeing
conservative people sad.
I wouldn't even class myself
as a liberal.
I just liked seeing
conservatives sad and scared.
To me, it's fun.
What's going to happen next?
It's hilarious.
So there was this old lady outside of the polling station,
and she had got out of a DATS van and was using multiple canes.
And then she got to the front door, and some lady was like,
you want me to help you in?
And she's like, I got to make sure these socialists don't get
in.
And then it took her like 10 minutes
to get to the polling station,
get a pencil, do her thing.
And then I just strolled in pain-free
and neutralized it.
Amazing.
And it felt fucking great.
You know what I mean?
Just no pain.
It just wasted your day.
That's amazing.
Your day is worthless.
It's meaningless what you did.
Yeah.
Oh, great.
That's nice, you know?
That is nice.
That is a nice story.
It's weird, you know, because like those old, it's weird weird because some old people are cool.
But some of them are just weird.
Some of them just have this like,
we have angered the Suncor and Syncrude gods.
We must sacrifice a virgin MLA.
Preferably one who's had a picture of herself
taken next to a gas station pot leaf shirt.
What is this?
Tell us the story.
It's a movie that was filmed in West End. Oh, yeah. pot leaf shirt. What is this? Yeah, none of us are from here. Tell us the story. That story didn't
come out our way.
It's a movie that
was filmed in West Ed.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I get it.
No, it was just,
yeah, there's this girl
who was an MLA
for the NDP
and she, like,
had some weird pictures
and conservatives
were like,
you can't let
this woman govern.
But it was like
a girl who had
a picture of herself
ironically pointing at a pot leaf or something, you know?
In a gas station.
Like, this is a cool gangster shirt.
Can't let this wingnut in the government.
Pro pot.
So, yeah, it's a weird time.
It is a weird time.
It's a weird time that people are selling so many clothes at gas stations, I think.
That's one of the weirder things.
So many fashion choices at gas stations.
Mad Max.
We're down to two hoodies.
Mad Max time.
Dave,
you got it over here? Mine's an overseen.
It hardly counts because
it's from Facebook.
But it was just
my brother-in-law posted a picture
of my nephew.
He's two years old and he had
the saddest face. He was crying,
and his sister's looking all concerned
for him, and the caption was
Charlie just tried his first mint
flavored gum.
He was a cinnamon man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's had all the fruity flavors.
But, oh, mint,
very upsetting.
That's very upsetting.
That's very good.
What age do you have to be to, like, appreciate mint?
Oh, boy.
You got to be taking in things that you want to cover up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
When you're a kid, what are you covering up?
Nothing.
Who cares? You're not having a good time.
I think you have to be, like, willingly brushing your teeth.
Yeah.
Like.
But also, I used to, if I went to, like, an old person's house, like, you know, and they had mint. To case the joint. Yeah. Like. But also, I used to, if I went to like
an old person's house,
like,
you know,
and they had mints.
To case the joint.
Yeah.
I would go crazy
on those fucking mints.
Scotch mints.
Any kind of mints.
Those weird.
Not any kind.
Ribbon candy,
I would get into that.
Don't say any kind of mints.
Yeah,
no,
even the like,
the weird powdery ones,
you know those ones?
What?
They're like circles, but they're kind of powdery.
That's fucking gross.
Yeah, somebody knows what I'm talking about.
Those are old lady bits.
What about frisk?
You're going to give a kid a frisk?
I'll get some frisk.
I'll chew blackjack gum.
If it's not good for you as a kid,
I would put it in my mouth as fast as possible.
A battery that somebody left out?
Oh man, a 9 volt?
Those are minty.
It's a sensation already.
It really is a minty sensation.
I think there's like salty, sweet,
electric.
It's like the fifth flavor profile.
Fifth flavor profile.
Oh, that would be great to be
on one of those cooking shows
and be a judge and just keep
throwing in weird
things like, mmm. It's too minty.
No, this has a zap to it.
And they're like, what does that mean?
You don't know?
Just trying to cover up all these wires.
This has a bit of a zap.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Grant, you haven an overheard.
No, I don't.
Because I spent all my time researching Theodore Rex.
Wow.
Lonely life I lead.
But now is a great time to invite the audience to come up,
share their overheards.
There's some stairs over behind here. You have to kind of go around the screen. You to come up. Cher, they're overheard. There's some stairs
over behind here.
Watch your step
and everything.
The screen.
You can climb up.
Now we get to test
the shorts on stage theory.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not...
But the audience is fine.
Of course it is.
You can go to a show.
But it was just saying,
you said it looked weird.
I think he looks great.
Yeah, it looks a little relaxed.
Yeah, I think it looks great.
Him, not him specifically.
You said people in shorts on a stage look weird.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Anyway, good luck.
No, no, come back.
You look great.
Hello.
Step right up to the microphone.
What's your name, sir?
Delaney L.
Delaney L.
Delaney L.
I like it.
No last names.
Are you from here in Edmonton?
That is correct.
All right.
Hit us with your...
Are you a robot?
Hello, Dave, Graham, and possible guests.
Yay!
I haven't overheard.
Me and my lovely girlfriend were walking home one night,
and we saw a car full of young night and we saw a car full of
young men pull up to
a car full of young ladies
and
the one guy leaned
out of the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Oh, I know not to do that!
He said
Hey, senorita
Senorita Yo, senorita.
Senorita.
Yo, senorita.
And I backed up.
And she just drove away.
Delaney, everybody.
Delaney, everybody.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, man.
That is a good word, Senorita,
because it can be said in a lot of different ways.
It can sound so romantic and then just awful.
And that's what he just did,
and I shouldn't have said anything.
Thanks.
Hello, sir.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, what's your name?
My name is George.
Hey, George.
Hi, welcome.
Hey.
Go ahead. Yeah, so I haven't overhe My name is George. Hey, George. Hi, welcome. Hey. Go ahead.
Yeah, so I haven't overheard.
I was volunteering at a casino.
What?
Let me tell you, those are not not-for-profit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just like to help out, you know?
You're a lovely man, George.
What the?
And I overheard a middle-aged
fellow, he was talking with
another person, and he said,
man, I just
hate blueberries.
I mean, they're so
small.
He's not
wrong.
George, everybody.
Very good. Was it a fundraiser? Hey, was it a He's not wrong. George, everybody. Yay!
Yeah.
Very good.
Was it a fundraiser?
Hey, was it a fundraiser?
Okay. It was a fundraiser.
All right.
They're really taking you for a ride at that casino.
Everybody here volunteers.
Do you get a little vest?
Hello, sir.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm good.
What's your name?
My name is Kyle.
Kyle?
Yep.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi, guys.
Do you have an overheard?
I do, and it's overheard that happened to me, but I'm letting it go anyway.
Okay.
So at my work, there's a guy who's known for his long hair.
Oh, yeah.
Idiot.
Yeah.
Keep going.
He also has a twin brother, apparently.
One of my co-workers was like,
hey, Kyle. I'm like, yeah.
She's like, I saw Pierre's brother.
I'm like, oh, really?
His twin brother.
She's like, yeah, they look exactly the same.
Do you even have the same hair?
She's like, yeah, Kyle, they're twins.
Oh.
Yes. That're twins. Oh. Yes.
Wow. That's good.
Don't do it.
Kyle. They're twins.
Kyle, sorry.
At what age do you stop getting the same haircut as your twin? Twelve.
Oh, okay. There's an answer? Nine for girls, twelve for
boys. Yeah. No, never.
You just keep going all the way to the...
Oh, God. Step right up, ma'am. Wow. Yeah. No, never. You just keep going all the way to the... Oh, good.
Step right up, ma'am.
Wow. Hi. Hello.
My name's Dana.
Hi, Dana. So, this is back...
I used to work at West Edmonton Mall.
I got my haircut
there once. Oh, very nice.
Yeah, so I used to work at this
old-timey photo studio
where you dress up as an old-timey photo studio where you dress up as like an old
timey cowboy and i take your picture not a modern cowboy i guess they have those here
yeah never mind so you could also dress up as like victorian ladies and there's these two little
girls and they decided to do that and i was like awesome so i dressed them up and then instantly
they started talking with like weird british. So one of them was like,
ooh, I'm a fancy lady, I drink tea.
And then the other one was like,
ooh, yes, and my grandson is a dentist.
My grandson.
My grandson.
My grandson is a dentist.
A Victorian dentist.
Oh, God.
Put it on a t-shirt. Dana, everybody. Dana, everybody, thank you. Oh, wow. Put it on a t-shirt.
Dana, everybody.
Thank you.
Oh, wow.
Mike, put it on.
That's on it.
That's got to be on a t-shirt.
My grandson is a dentist.
My other grandson is a dentist bumper sticker.
My grandson is an honor student at Victorian Dental School.
All wood.
We're going to have to
cork these.
Hi. Hello. Step right up
to the microphone. What's your name?
My name's Sarah. Hi. Hi, Sarah.
Do you have an overheard for us?
I was riding on the LRT, the train,
and I was
sitting across
from two high school girls
and one says to her friend
who's Mark Twain?
And the other one says right away
it's Shania Twain's husband.
Oh yes.
Very good.
That does impress me much.
The girl who asked the question
was so embarrassed. She was like oh oh, yeah, yeah, I should have known.
Whoops.
Sarah, everybody.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I believe this is our last entrant.
Or is there somebody else?
No, come on.
Come on up.
You'll be the last.
I know you.
I've met you many times.
Once or twice.
Yeah, your name's Josh.
Yeah, I'm Josh from Edmonton.
Hey, Josh.
Hi, Josh.
I used to live in this apartment building.
This microphone is very low.
I know, but you're working it.
Yeah, yeah.
This looks great.
Wow, great.
Body.
I used to live in this apartment building,
and I could hear my neighbors through the ceiling.
Hear them what?
Oh.
Many disgusting things.
Karate practice.
Mostly karate practice, a lot of tuba.
Ba-ba-ba-do.
But this guy was talking on his phone, I assume,
to his friend about the movie
American Hustle.
Is that the one with the plastic bag flying in the air?
And he was giving his
review, and he
was like, you're watching it,
and you're like, aw, damn, that was a
hustle right there.
Delivers on its promise.
Josh, everybody!
Nice.
Oh, wow.
Now we do have...
We have one, and then one more, and then I think
that's it, right?
Hello, sir.
I'm Scott. I haven't overheard.
I also loved you on Doug Loves Movies in Vancouver in February.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yeah.
Even though you didn't pick my name tag.
Yeah, but there was a guy who had a full bag of candy.
And he was like, pick me.
And I was like, okay.
Yeah.
And then I ate the candy.
I want to continue not swimming.
I'm dedicated my life to not swimming. Give ate the candy. I want to continue not swimming. I'm dedicating my life to not swimming.
Give me that candy.
I haven't overheard from the Kinsman Rec Center.
Woo!
Yeah.
I often think about going to working out, so I was there.
Get right down on that microphone.
Sorry.
Sorry.
And I was there in about February, and this middle-aged woman, 55-ish,
the type of person that police would go out of their
way to help, was explaining to the young
woman that she was working with
who I think was like a professional athlete,
she was training her, and she was explaining to her
because this was the time of Ferguson that if you
didn't want to get in trouble with the police, you should
just listen to what they say.
And she was the white
hair, the exact person the police would
you know, they're going to help her
no matter what. And she was explaining
like she didn't understand what was going on.
You should just listen to the police and everything
will be fine.
That's called white hair privilege.
And I
hate it.
Great.
Alright.
Alright.
And our final overheard of the night.
Hi.
What's your name, ma'am?
Mika.
Mika.
Hello.
Hi.
Mine isn't quite an overheard.
It just kind of happened to me, but it's still pretty funny.
Sure.
Yeah.
So I was taking my first anatomy class, and me and my partner had to palpate each other's
spines.
So we were counting down each other's spines. Ooh. So she's going down. Yeah, just wait. It gets way better. So she's counting down
my spine and she gets to like the lumbar area, which is your lower back. And then she gets to
my sacral area, which is just below that. And she says really genuinely and instantly,
okay, so this is your scrotum, right?
Oh, what the...
Bad.
Miga, everybody.
Miga!
Yay!
Anatomy.
Something's definitely wrong.
Oh, boy.
That shouldn't be there.
Your scrotum is terrible.
Checking in, right?
This is your scrotum, right?
It maybe explains why that
guy was wearing his shirt, his coat
back. Oh, there we go.
Gotta breeze out the scrote.
Breeze out the scrote.
It's rubbing
on my scrote.
I need a front toad so it don't rub my scrote.
Oh, well, thank you
all so much. I think I believe that's the end of this here podcast.
You can see Kayla Lorette all through the weekend here at the Improvaganza here in this very theater.
Yeah, the Sufferettes are playing here.
This won't be important for the podcast.
But for all these wonderful people here that love comedy, right?
The Sufferettes are playing here. But for all these wonderful people here that love comedy, right?
The Sufferettes are playing here tomorrow. Tomorrow is our showcase show, and it's called Safe Body Space.
And I'm just going to have a corner that has some essential oils in it.
A lot of applying the oils, checking in with each other.
Counting each other's vertebrae.
Yeah, finding that scrote.
So you can come to that tomorrow or
any of the
shows at
Ganza.
Come to
all of them.
Yeah.
Awesome.
And Sean,
are you
playing in
town anywhere
upcoming?
Just do
the odd
outdoor
private
function.
That's it?
No.
You can't
see me
anywhere.
You got it.
Unless you're
at the
Devonian
Botanic
Gardens
three hours
ago.
Your last show.
That's your last.
Done.
I'm done.
He's done.
I'm retiring.
I am Theodorus Rex of comedy.
It's time to get out.
Whoopi Goldberg told me to get out.
So I'm done.
Theodorus.
Oh, thank you both so much
for being guests on the show.
Thank you for having us.
Kayla Loretto-Lacomber!
That was fun. Thanks to all you for
coming out. If you would like to say hello to us,
we'll be out there.
And thanks so much to Improvaganza
for bringing us out. Yes, to
Amy,
Matt, the wonderful
sound technicians
and lights.
I mean, it's been fantastic.
Thank you so much for having us.
It was a treat.
I'll be doing stand-up the rest of the weekend if you're bored.
You know what I mean?
If you've got nothing else going on.
And again, thank you so much for having us.
Have a good night, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
having us. Have a good night, everybody. Thank you.
Thank you.