Stop Podcasting Yourself - Bonus Episode - LIVE from Vancouver with Alicia Tobin and Brent Butt
Episode Date: November 21, 2019Recorded live at the Rio Theatre in Vancouver as a part of Just For Laughs Northwest, February 17th, 2019....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Hello, everybody!
Hello, everyone!
Welcome! Thank you for coming out.
It's Michael Jordan's birthday.
Today is Michael Jordan's birthday. Thank you all for being here.
For Michael Jordan's birthday, February 17th.
He's 56 years young today.
His royal airness.
It was Dave's fantastic idea.
Let's, because Michael Jordan wears hilarious jeans.
It's his thing.
Yeah.
Now that basketball's over,
and baseball,
the sun is set on baseball,
and he's,
yeah,
now he wears hilariously
big or distressed jeans.
So,
I went and got one of each.
And these,
surprisingly, they feel great. Yeah yeah for the home listener i'm in the big
yeah and i'm in the distress that's our folk act is big and distressed yeah
i can't believe i couldn't when i saw those at the store i was was shocked. I was shocked. But you weren't at
Saks Fifth Avenue.
I was, and these were the only
pair that they had.
They were behind
glass, and I said,
may I see them? And the
shopkeeper said,
there's a curse associated
with them. I said, that's fine.
They came from Value Village.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're great.
They're roomy, but they're great in the waist.
Mm-hmm.
The length is good.
Yeah.
Like, I didn't have to ham them.
Nope.
They've got a big warning logo on the butt.
There you go.
Yeah. Because it says on the in the waistband
it says warning wide leg so does it really yeah yeah yeah warning wide leg what era do you think
these what era are yours from like this i don't I just went for the most distressed genes that I could find.
They are despondent.
They are, exactly.
They need help.
They're in crisis.
I don't know.
I feel like I could just walk over to the Macs just next door to here and see a guy in these.
Like, I'm surprised when I went over
that somebody wasn't like, hey.
Great, gee, great distressing.
Do you distress those yourself?
Do you have some kind of Dremel?
Yes, it is Michael Jordan's birthday.
It's the reason for the season.
It is.
What's your favorite Michael Jordan memory?
Oh, boy.
I liked...
I liked Gatorade.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gatorade's a big one for me.
Hanes.
Hanes was the big one for me.
Oh, boy.
Was he Hanes? He was Hanes. I wasn't sure if he was Hanes or Fruit of one for me. Oh, boy. Was he Haynes?
He was Haynes.
I wasn't sure if he was Haynes or Fruit of the Loom.
Uh-huh.
What?
Fruit of the Loom.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
I got it right.
Jeez.
Yikes.
Strike one.
Yeah.
As they would say in his baseball career.
The crazy thing about Space Jam...
Okay, here we go.
Don't want to get off on a patented rant here.
But so many things that shouldn't work
came together to make a movie that really doesn't work.
For instance?
Well, at the time, it's not like people
had Looney Tunes fever. It wasn't like
Looney Tunes were making the scene.
They were on shirts. Yeah, that's true!
They were wearing jeans like these
with taz
and bugs.
They were looking tough. Yeah, looking tough.
That's true.
Maybe Tweety was wearing small glasses and scratching records.
But so that was weird that they would pick that.
And then they would have a guy who never acted before in any capacity be the lead.
Have to do heavy lifting acting against,
like it's a thing that is very tough
to act against things that are not there
for an experienced actor.
What do you mean?
Oh, the Looney Tunes wouldn't work with Michael Jordan.
Oh.
So they had to be,
their parts were filmed separately
and then superimposed.
Oh, I see.
Why not? opposed oh i see why not why why wouldn't they work with him because of his gambling problem oh right right right looney tunes is a family organization except for those years in the 90s when they
were very tough yeah um uh anyways we could talk
Michael Jordan business all night
but Dave
what's going on with you man
oh well hello everyone
this is Stop Podcasting
Yourself thanks everyone for coming
yeah thank you for coming
how many people
are here with their
partner that dragged them here?
Yeah, there you are.
Yeah.
You don't have to applaud.
We don't have to suffer in silence.
This is the first show we've done since they saved the Rio.
Oh, yeah!
Yeah!
save the Rio.
Oh, yeah!
And why did the Rio
need saving and that
army surplus place with a gorilla
out front? It's just fine forever.
That's a good question.
Yeah, like no
greedy landowner is trying to turn it into a parking lot.
It's some dumb landlord that when the real estate wasn't so hot,
when a guy was like, I'll sign a 100-year lease,
and he was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, this plot's worth nothing.
100-year lease, you fool.
And now they're sitting on diamonds.
Have you ever been in that?
No, scared of gorillas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I
when I was first
out of school I put in for a
job there.
And they were
overqualified.
They were like do you own
a gorilla suit?
I said, no.
They said, fine.
One will be provided for you.
I was putting in to be in the gorilla suit, I guess,
was the job I was applying for.
No, the first question was, would you
be opposed to random drug testing?
And I said, yes.
I guess because they sell knives.
Sure.
Yeah.
And you did some pretty random drugs.
Yeah.
I was really going through my Hunter S. Thompson phase.
Mescaline, mostly.
I love mescaline.
Put another dime in the jukebox
Here's what's going on with me, man
A couple days ago
It was Valentine's Day
Graham, what's your love language?
Oh
Wet Graham, what's your love language? Oh.
Wet.
It's wet.
Keeps it wet.
Do you know the five love languages?
I don't, obviously.
Well, these are the languages in which you like to experience love,
and you have a primary and a secondary.
Okay.
So I'm just going to run down what I think I can remember of them.
Touch.
Yeah.
Compliments.
Okay.
Gift receiving.
Gift receipts.
Yeah, gift receipts and gift receipts and travelers checks no I don't know
I remember I did a test
and I forget what it was
but I think mine is
I want to say
not gift receiving
I don't enjoy that
you don't like getting gifts
no and that's why
for Valentine's Day
I have a
19 year streak of not receiving any.
I think mine might be touch.
Touch?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm still going with wet.
Yeah.
I likes it wet.
What did you do Valentine's Day
Oh boy
What didn't I do
Oh yeah
Yeah
No
I don't think
I did anything
Did you
No I went to
Dave Attell
Oh yeah
Not
Super romantic
Comedian
Very funny But but not for lovers.
And I just basked in Granville Street on whatever night it was, Thursday night.
Yeah.
You know, when it's not just like a pen of maniacs, it's a nice street.
When it's not Friday night and they've just like panned off.
Everything goes in this
zone. This is, this, the
cops are, they're overlooking every
crime. You're allowed any crime
as long as you do it in this
box.
You forget that it's a regular
street. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, did you go to the
arcade? Yeah, yeah, I went to a peep show. Uh, go to the arcade? Yeah, yeah. I went to a
peep show.
Went to the arcade. Went to a
peep show. Played the
Aerosmith video game that's at the
arcade.
What else did I do on Gravel Street?
I went to that porno shop up the way.
I said,
your finest old time porno
please. And they said, we're all out.
It's Valentine's Day.
And I was like, oh, no.
I'll use my imagination.
I remember what I did.
I went out with my mom and my brother.
Perfect.
We went to a talk at the Jewish Writers Festival.
Okay.
There was a book there. I don't know why I thought it was funny
There was a book
Just on display
Called Jew
A novel based on a true story
I believe it
Yeah yeah yeah
From the title I can believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From the title, I can believe it.
So what else is coming? Oh, boy.
You were freaking out your love language.
Does everybody here know their love language?
Yeah?
What are you, person who said yeah?
Acts of service. Acts of service.
Acts of service.
Acts of service and quality time are two of them.
Okay.
So like...
Like, yeah, like, boy.
Service dog.
Yeah.
Or you and your partner raising the American flag on Iwo Jima.
Oh, yeah!
That's a good one.
I mean, it's pretty good.
You get photographed.
That's a fun role play.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, so not a heck of a lot going on with me.
Got an instant pot.
Oh, I, what?
Not a lot going on with you.
Way to bury the lead.
Oh, yeah, you guys, I got an instant pot.
Oh, have you heard about these things?
You can really strut in those things.
You can really strut in those legs.
They're really sailor man pants.
They go up high, too.
They are navel.
They're up to my navel.
And the thing about this thing, it's like a slow cooker slash pressure cooker.
Okay.
Is it a game changer?
No.
What are you making in it?
What am I making? I made a thing.
I made a pork shoulder.
Okay.
A po-show.
Sure.
I don't know what they are.
It's, um, you have a crock pot.
Mm-hmm.
It's like, it's like a crock pot on steroids.
Fuck.
Whatever you need nine hours to cook, it does in one.
Oh, really?
I think.
That's pretty good.
But if you don't know how it's going to taste,
you put everything in, and then you just wait an hour,
and then you can't taste it in the middle.
Oh, because all the pressure
will escape. Yeah, so you just have to be like
I hope this is going to be
a pork shoulder when I'm done.
Yeah.
It's like
prayer.
I guess it's kind of
people talk a lot about
faith these days and
We're taking the podcast in a new direction.
I guess when I put onions in,
that's like putting a little bit of my heart.
When I put garlic in, that's my soul.
What are beans?
The magical fruit.
Here's a weird thing that I've
been to a couple movies lately, speaking of
faith-based things.
They're playing trailers
for
Christian movies, which I've
never seen that in a...
I hang out at a very Satan-friendly theater. for like Christian movies, which I've never seen. I've never seen that in a, I go,
I hang out at a very, uh,
Satan friendly theater.
Um,
so I was shocked,
but,
uh,
usually you can tell that they're religious because you're like,
I don't recognize anybody in this trailer before the prayer stuff starts
happening.
And then the prayer stuff.
But recently I saw one.
Toe for Grace?
Toe for Grace.
Toe for Grace, making the rounds of the,
he plays a minister, youth minister.
Yeah, cool minister.
Yeah, and it's a movie about a kid
that gets trapped under some ice.
He survives, of course,
because otherwise it would be short.
That would be a short that they would play
before other movies.
He survives, of course, because otherwise it would be short.
That would be a short that they would play before other movies.
Yeah, before Frozen.
That darn kid.
We couldn't save him.
We prayed and we prayed. Yeah.
We couldn't save them.
We prayed and we prayed.
Anyways, that's just a new thing.
Well, at the end of those Christian movie trailers,
there's an ad always for group ticket sales.
Because they bring the whole gang.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how we, there's a lot of church groups here tonight. That's true.
Who's here from the Lithuanian ministries?
Yeah, there you are.
Where are my Lithu's at?
Yeah, so we're going to keep trying with the Instant Pot.
We're not going to give up on it.
What's the, like, what's the dream thing to make in an Instant Pot?
Stew.
Yeah.
Fucking stew.
It's been so long since I've had stew.
Don't have the balls to order it in public.
Don't have the time to make it at home.
What?
What?
Do they have...
Are there any stew restaurants?
Well, they closed that one with the rat.
Yeah.
G-g-lung.
There's no way.
No way that was real.
There's no way that a rat...
That was like...
That rat was the size of the Muppet rats.
It was just shy of having
scuba goggles and a snorkel.
It was so big.
There's just no fucking way.
For the home listener, just Google rat soup.
But they had to close the restaurant because of it.
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
That's the fucking
fast and loose restaurant biz, you know?
One rat in a stew.
Yeah. That's it.
But like, every restaurant has rats.
Yeah! And imagine
all the stew they served over the years
rat free. What? That doesn't
get in the press. How about
some good news for a change?
Did you see the news
story this week? Someone sledding
and a rat ran past as they were sledding?
Yeah. Was that here?
That was in Victoria. But why is that
on every news outlet?
Just because
I just like people think
when snow falls
that it's winter wonderland
and rats take a hike.
But rats are still there.
They're still around, man.
They deserve the fun of sledding.
Yeah.
Agreed.
It's free.
You don't need a lift pass.
No.
Did I ever tell you
about the place that I saw in Seattle?
I was, this was, I still smoked, so I was out in the back alley,
and this restaurant was just closing.
It was like a cartoon.
The person turned off the light, closed the door,
and like that, rats came out of everywhere in the kitchen.
It was, it was insane.
Like, it was like they were just
waiting, waiting, waiting, it's close party!
It was disgusting.
Yeah.
But the thing about the Instant Pot is I'm just not,
I just, oh, I just wanna be,
I just wanna fall in love with it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just hasn't happened yet.
Is there, are there like,
you know,
blogs of like,
Yeah.
Instant pot blog.
Do you read recipes online ever?
Sometimes,
but I don't like
a lot of the sites
that you have to go to
because there's a story.
There's a story.
I don't care.
There's always,
I've never read one of them, but I assume...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just go down to ingredients.
That's smart.
And then I look and I don't have that.
I don't have that.
I don't have that.
Maybe I should have read the story.
Yeah.
Maybe you would have told me where to get this stuff.
Where do you get dill?
You scrape it off of dill chips.
What's going on with you?
I was in our nation's capital, Ottawa.
Yeah, sure. Why not?
If you're going to woo for one thing tonight,
make it our nation's capital.
Here's the thing that all of us here probably don't appreciate uh how fucking cold it is in the rest of the country um like it's hilariously cold everywhere
else it is so cold uh that how cold is it sorry how cold is it? Sorry, how cold is it? Thank you. Thank you, Dave.
No thanks to any of you.
Something, something.
Your mama.
But like,
so I was shooting stuff for
this hour. It was 22 minutes.
Yeah, sure, why not?
And I
didn't wear gloves because I'm like, who wears gloves, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Fucking everybody in Ottawa does.
Frostbite across my knuckles, which is very dumb.
That's dumb on me.
And we were shooting a variety of things.
Like, I went skating.
I haven't been skating since I was a kid.
So here's the thing.
Your ankles, not ready to balance on a knife.
Like, I was like a...
You know when they...
Is it Bambi slides out on ice?
It was very Bambi.
It was very like...
Ankles not working with the rest of my body.
So I skated.
I skate a lot.
Yeah.
Do you?
Yeah, I like to cut it up.
Where?
Yeah.
Oh, on my backyard rink.
Oh, you make a rink? Yeah.
Do you have Freon or something to keep it?
No, I just knocked over a fridge and have it open.
Kind of cooling it.
Ah, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Ah, you know, ingenuity is the mother of necessity, right?
Yeah, that's right.
I can't hear that phrase enough.
Uh-huh.
Ingenuity is the mother of necessity.
Yep.
Yeah, so I went skating for the first time in however many years.
Not good at it, that's what I realized.
Not good at starting.
Not good at gliding.
Stopping.
Watch out.
What, when, were you ever good?
No.
Okay.
What made you think you might be?
I don't know, time.
Yeah.
Have you ever taken 30 years off of something and gotten good at it in the meantime?
Yeah, karate.
Karate.
Those two lessons really percolated over time.
Stopped a couple muggings.
So I skated. i went down a sled
thing i went on like a an inner tube oh fun yeah that was fun was it the most fun it was pretty
fun except here's the thing that i always forget about inner tubes is they have a place where the
air goes in they've got that nozzle really sticks in your side. If you don't plan out where you're sitting very carefully.
So I've got a big mark up this side of my ass.
So frostbite across the knuckles, mark on my ass.
Then we went to a guy who does grooming.
He grooms trails for cross-country skiers.
Okay.
A guy who does grooming.
Yeah.
That's true. true hairstylist
yeah
and he was like
what does he use?
a snowcat?
yeah he uses a ski-doo
and he said
I can pull you behind it on cross country skis if you like
and I was like I would like that very much.
But he didn't tell me there was a part where it went downhill.
And so then I would be going faster than the Ski-Doo.
So then I just launched full on into the back of the Ski-Doo.
So we did that once.
And then I was like, there's no more hills, right?
And he's like, yeah, no problem.
Right away there was another hill, and I fell into it again.
So I got a big old bruise on my butt.
Do you know what they would call it if Michael Jordan
was there?
23 Ski-Doo.
Ski-Doo.
Anybody who didn't like that can leave.
All right?
This is the type of faith-based humor.
Yeah.
They say the dad joke is dead.
But it's alive and well.
Oh, I came up with a new character.
All right.
This is the anti-vax dad who also tells dad jokes.
Okay.
Okay.
A bunch of red spots.
That's your reason to miss school?
Pretty measly excuse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
You got more?
No, I got no more.
Yeah, so the rest of the country is really cold, and I hate it.
So I was really glad to come back.
And there was snow here, but it's fun.
It's a fun amount of snow.
How long were you gone?
Because I didn't know you left.
Oh, yeah.
I left a note on your fridge.
I was knocked over in the backyard.
Just a couple days. But enough to like what does frostbite on the
knuckles look like anything no it's just red red and this wasn't diagnosed it was by the computer
by webmd yeah yeah yeah okay um i mean what else could it be right yeah oh sure i mean i was petting some weird dogs but i don't think that i could have
contracted anything for those weird dogs um uh yeah so you know the rest of the country's cold
and it's pretty good to be here is what i'm saying it's nice you don't realize that the
this sliver of the country is so nice until you go somewhere else.
And then you're like, all right.
Like, if they didn't have power there, they would be dead.
They would die.
A power outage, they would die.
Their water would freeze and the pipes explode, kill them all.
I saw a news story about, and I see a news story like this every year,
where someone tries to heat up the water in their pipes
with a blowtorch and burns their house down.
But it must work sometimes,
right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A broken
clock is right twice a day.
So like for the
time that the water
shoots out everywhere, it kind of has worked,
right?
Or the time that it's getting
doused by the fire
department, they got water then.
Crazy like a fox.
Do you think we should bring out
our first of our two
fantastic guests?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen,
she is one of our all-time faves
on the podcast, and
it's just such a treat
to have her here with us tonight.
Please, a big, warm round of applause
for Alicia Tobin, everybody!
Thank you, everybody.
I've never sat in these pants.
Don't know if I can.
Oh, dear.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
We'll just keep that leg out I guess Hi Alicia
Hey guys do we want to
Uh oh
Is this on
Yeah you're on
I have to sign up to Apple Music
Do you want to get to know us
Yeah
There we go get to know us? Yeah. There we go.
Get to know us.
Ah, these pants.
Hi, Alicia.
Hey, friends.
Hi, guys.
What a great crowd.
Yeah.
Does anyone still have pants like the pants that Dave's wearing?
They're so iconic if you are my age.
Yeah.
They are ravey.
They're very ravey.
This is a pretty cool outfit if it was 1995.
I mean, I could have...
I feel like I should be wearing a ringer t-shirt.
Yeah.
And like braids.
Or cuffs.
Cuffs.
Why haven't those come back?
You love those.
I did.
Cuff, big cuff.
They called me Cuff Daddy.
I don't think so.
No.
Alicia, what's new with you?
Oh, geez.
Well, I'm almost finished writing a book that's so sad.
Like, I think that they thought it would be a funny book,
and I sent off the first few essays,
and they're like, this is so sad.
I'm like, I don't know what you expected.
Every book's kind of sad, though, right?
Yeah.
You just feel bad you're not watching a movie.
I still have my dog, Hank.
He's the best.
Oh, you're writing a book.
That's interesting.
But I want to hear about your dog.
Yeah, he's the best.
His name is Hank, and he's not from this planet.
I think I told you the story that when I went to pick him up from the breeder,
yes, I bought a dog.
You can crucify me, so I don't give a shit.
Shop, don't adopt, bitches.
That's a weird line to take, but all right.
Anyways, he's a really special dog, and I love him so much.
And today I gave him a waffle.
How did he respond to that?
He shot on the rug.
Everybody remembers their first waffle.
Yeah.
I don't know what I was thinking
He's so cute
But I've never fed him one before
And I see that it did not agree with his tiny body
Yeah
But he's the best
I love my dog
And you guys are good too
Alright
Now I don't want to get you off on a rant here
Do you think he might be a gluten free dog?
I thought about that.
I was like, he's pretty much grain-free.
He's like kind of paleo.
Because he's a dog.
But he's always had like little bits of something.
But today, I just gave him like...
You gave him a whole waffle?
Half of a whole waffle.
An Eggo?
No, like a homemade gluten-free waffle.
You're telling me Eggo's not gluten-free? No. Nothing nice homemade gluten-free waffle. You're telling me Eggo's not gluten-free?
No.
Nothing nice is gluten-free.
Nothing nice.
Do you have a waffle maker?
Yes.
Do you have one?
No.
They're very dangerous.
They get so hot.
I just bought an Instant Pot yesterday.
Oh, let's talk about it.
I'm the only one here.
God damn it.
It's good for that go-go guy who needs meat falling off a bone.
Yeah, I'm not sure I need it.
I read a bunch of recipes and I was like, no, this is not how I like to eat at all.
And now I've got to take it back to Williams-Sonoma.
I know.
I was walking past and there was a 20% off sign.
I was like, that's a good price.
And then I looked it up afterwards and their 20% off is still more expensive than London Drugs' regular price.
How does London Drugs do it?
I don't know.
Who loves London Drugs here?
Man.
Whoever didn't applaud can leave.
Yeah, get...
Where did you get your pictures developed?
Or your weird baskets that they have on sale.
Yeah.
Some weird baskets. London Drugs sale. Yeah. Some weird baskets.
London Drugs is the best.
It is the best.
You can just wander around in there.
This isn't sponsored content, but I think I want to get married in a London Drugs.
I want to be buried in a London Drugs.
I can't get my water open again.
Well, you've had enough thanks buddy
yeah so that's it
just writing a book
hanging out with my dog
what's it like to write a book?
it's hard
as hard as reading a book?
that's a good point
I wouldn't know
it's weird
it's a book about myself
turns out I hate me
yeah I did not realize that
I had been pushing that down
and now it's in a book
so people can hate me too
there's some here
I know I'm not 100% everybody's 100% favorite fan
what's that? this is Alicia Tobin after dark So there's some here I know I'm not 100% everybody's 100% favorite fan.
What's that?
This is Alicia Tobin after dark.
You're not usually up this late.
No, I go to bed at 9.
It's not a joke.
I had to have a coffee at 3 to do this.
What else? I haven't taken any bad falls recently, so that's good.
I made it through this icy Hankville yesterday. What else? I haven't taken any bad falls recently, so that's good. Ah.
Yeah.
I mean, I made it through this icy... Hank fell yesterday.
It was crazy.
He went out like a little horse and he slid.
Hank is who?
He's my dog.
So yeah, that's what I'm up to.
I like Lifesaver gummies.
They gluten-free?
Yeah, but they are chock-full of gelatin.
Yeah.
Is that horse hooves?
Maybe.
That's horse hooves, Greg.
That's a load of horse hooves, if you ask me.
I think it is.
Maybe.
Or maybe it's from, it's not vegetarian.
All my friends are vegetarians, so I don't have to share.
That's weird, because Lifesavers uh there was very little direction that they could
go product wise but they took the right one yeah like it's weird like that meeting must have been
pretty wild when they were pitching other lifesaver like what if we just have just the
things that would go in the hole what about about that? Just holes. Oops, just holes, we'll call it.
I feel like they had Jell-O flavors, too.
I mean, when they came out with a storybook
full of Lifesavers,
that was a great way to move
a whole thing of butterscotch Lifesavers
that no one wanted.
Those are the best.
Okay.
This is why your book is so sad,
because that's your favorite lifesaver.
Because it's not full of lifesavers.
It's not just a lifesaver.
That would be the best,
if you handed in that as your first draft.
This is what I'm thinking.
It might be a little high on the pep-o-ment.
Oh, man.
I wish I had thought of that.
Much less crying. So, man. I wish I had thought of that. Much less crying.
So, yeah.
I'm a real sad sack.
And I like to go to bed at 9.
And somehow I got invited to do this number.
I'm sorry.
What's your favorite thing about going to bed at 9?
Oh, no one else is in bed but me.
Yeah. It's your own time. I go to bed late and it feels gross. Oh, I No one else is in bed but me Yeah
It's your own time
I go to bed late and it feels gross
Because I know everyone out there is in bed
I don't have
I wish that it's just
I'm so tired
I get up at 5
Yeah
So it's like the normal amount of sleep
So you work at 9 to 5
Yeah
What a way to make a living
It is a way
You were just in Los Angeles.
You went on a trip.
I was.
I was on a work trip.
Los Angeles is interesting.
I looked at so many boobs by accident.
Oh, boy.
Now I understand what it's like to be a creepy person.
As it turns out, I am one.
There's a lot of boobs there.
They're just hanging out.
And that doesn't happen here.
Everyone's always wearing turtlenecks.
You don't know. Yeah, I never out. And that doesn't happen here. Everyone's always wearing turtlenecks. You don't know.
Yeah, I never look at boobs.
I mean, either. I look at necks whenever I get a chance because of all the turtlenecks here.
If somebody's wearing
a crew neck, wow, wow, wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow, wow. Right?
How about ding, dang, dong?
Yeah, yeah.
Check out the Adam's apple on her.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, L.A. is weird.
I always think when I'm on work trips that I could live in the city,
but I realize it's because I'm in a beautiful hotel in the most expensive neighborhood.
And then I go down the hill a bit, I'm like, oh, fuck no.
No.
Yeah.
No.
But it's a cool city.
There's a lot of beautiful trees.
Yeah. It's the first thing I notice. There's so many beautiful trees. Yeah,'s a cool city. There's a lot of beautiful trees. Yeah.
Like, it's the first thing I know is there's, like, so many beautiful trees.
Yeah, there's nice trees.
Palm.
Yeah.
Cactus.
Lots of cactus and succulents.
Not very much pine.
No, I didn't even see one.
I'd miss it, you know, if I was away from pine too long.
Yeah.
I'd miss it.
What would you sneeze at?
Never mind.
Let's each go around and say our top five trees.
Okay.
And then we'll invite everyone from the audience to do it as well.
Yeah, that is nice.
Christmas.
Yeah, Christmas.
Artificially.
Giving.
Giving tree.
Oh, speaking of sad.
Yeah.
That's a sad book.
Monkey Puzzle Tree.
Oh, Monkey Puzzle Tree is great.
Yeah, it got a little bit of an applause.
Just a tree with a lot of burls on it, you know?
Oh, yeah.
It looks like it's pregnant.
Yeah, or it's got a big butt.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What you hiding under that turtleneck tree?
A tree that a bunch of 12-year-olds can take funny pictures with.
That's the real giving tree.
And maple.
We said them all.
Could you ever live in a place, like a hot place like Los Angeles?
I think probably.
Really?
Yeah.
Where it's just hot all the time? If I was rich, I would live anywhere.
Yeah, that's true.
It's more important.
If you were rich, where would you live?
Like, if you were rich, you can live anywhere.
Where would you live?
Ireland, probably.
Ireland?
Yeah.
I'd live in the out of space.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
That is two sides of the same coin.
That is the, like, if you were in Family Feud and you said Ireland or outer space for the question, we asked 100 people.
You could live anywhere.
If you were super rich, where would you live?
Where would you live, Dave?
I don't know.
Space Ireland?
I want to go again.
Okay, go again.
Hang on.
Okay, you know what?
I'll do like I'm the host of Family Feud.
Richard Karn.
The definitive host.
Who coincidentally, it's his birthday today, too.
Shut up!
Is it?
Wow.
I don't think so, too.
Remember?
He does.
Now, Alicia, the matriarch of the family.
We asked a hundred people.
Yeah.
If you were rich, you could live anywhere you wanted.
Where would you live?
I don't know.
Good answer, good answer.
I never thought about that.
I thought about the rich part a lot.
Guess I didn't buy you enough time.
Would you want to be in a movie where you're the richest person in town?
Like you own the mill and you're the rich person in town?
I think bad always happens to them.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Usually they have it coming.
Yeah.
I would have so many Afghan hounds.
Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
I just like walk through town, Afghan hounds. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. I just like walk through
town, Afghan hounds.
Yeah. That's Alicia.
She owns the wig factory.
You wish.
You wish your best friend
owned a wig factory. Oh, I do.
He'd always be like, hi, I'm here again.
Any samples? Any wigs fall on the floor
that you can't use? Any factory seconds?
You love wigs fall on the floor that you can't use? Any factory seconds? You love
wigs. I do.
Have you talked a lot about your wig on this show?
No. My one from
Australia, my Australian wig.
No, you haven't.
No. I wear it
when I'm hosting quiz show.
I bought it from
a wig outlet in Australia that has sent me weekly messages ever since.
Always with a full new catalog of wigs that I have not seen before.
And they're so playful, the wigs.
They're not like getting down to business.
Some of them are, but they're mostly like really fun wigs.
Is it human hair? No, no no no yeah it's gelton adopt don't shop what do you mean a playful wig
uh do you know just like something like that not something that you could wear
and and have people think like a job interview yeah exactly okay unless you were going to like
a crazy place like
where they play with balls all day
or something like that.
You know, like a kid's center where kids
can be a kid. Chuck E. Cheese is what I'm
talking about.
Yeah, like TGI
Fridays where you're encouraged to wear
buttons, but also a fun wig.
Yeah, a well-secured wig.
We don't want a wig flying off
into people's... A wig with a hairnet
over top of it.
So this is
what the show is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's hard not to ask them questions
The audience?
Yeah
Ask them questions
Okay, if you
You with the polka dots
No, no, you can't single people out
No?
You have to ask them as a unit
Okay, okay, I got a question
Alright
If you could live anywhere
At the count of three One And you're rich anywhere, at the count of three,
one,
and you're rich,
one, two, three.
Some assholes in Ireland.
Ireland.
It's not a terrible choice.
No.
Somebody said Barcelona.
Oh, nice.
That seems like,
that would be a nice place.
Warm.
People say Barcelona. Yeah. People say Barthelona.
Yeah.
Hosted an Olympics.
Did they?
Yeah, you could go check out the old track, you know?
See what that feels like.
Oh, speaking of Olympics, I watched the last half of Eddie the Eagle.
It's bad.
Oh, why did you do that?
I was on
Graham's got that channel where they show the last half of movies
You do
I wish that was
It's not a bad idea
It's not a bad idea
Where it just
You just sign up
You say like what portion of every film
You'd like to see
And then it just is on randomly Or if it was like Netflix You just sign up and you say what portion of every film you'd like to see.
And then it just is on randomly.
Or if it was like Netflix.
You just sign up.
They got a way better selection of half movies.
Half movies.
So you can say that you saw it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, is that the one that ends?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no spoilers. You have the other channel. Yeah, I have the beginning. I have start to finish. Oh, is that the one that ends? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no spoilers.
You have the other channel.
Yeah, I have the beginning.
I have the beginning channel.
Oh.
But you have a channel that's movies that you just turn on and it's mid-movie, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So you kind of have that channel.
Yeah, and so I watched Eddie the Eagle.
But there's no reason that that movie should exist.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not... am I hitting a nerve here?
It feels like the audience is going cold on me.
Because it's not like the Jamaican bobsled story
where it's like, well, that was really wild
that Jamaica had a bobsled team.
That a guy from, a white guy was a ski jumper,
that's not weird.
They had big glasses. Yeah, that's true. And a mustache. guy was a ski jumper. That's not weird. They have big glasses.
Yeah, that's true.
And a mustache.
Sounds like a real loser.
I don't think that at all.
I don't know.
I vaguely remember a preview.
And I don't like sports.
What's your favorite sport?
My favorite sport is skiing.
That's what I would watch in the Olympics.
Downhill skiing, slalom.
Yeah.
Fast skiing.
Did you ski?
Yeah, when I was a kid.
Were you good?
I was actually pretty good.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Do you think you could pick it up again?
Because I thought I could pick up skating like that.
Yeah. I would say I would I could pick up skating like that. Yeah.
I would say I would be very cautious the first few times.
It has been a while, and it's dangerous.
Yeah.
Yeah, like, you've got to be in shape.
You can't, like, when people are like, I'm going skiing, I haven't skied in, like, ten years.
I'm like, and you're going to Whistler.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, but they let anyone do it.
I know.
That doesn't mean that.
Yeah, so I'd say skiing. They let kids who have they let anyone do it. I know. That doesn't mean that. Yeah, so I'd say skiing.
They let kids who have never skied do it.
Well, that's better because they're more flexible.
Their muscles and bodies are in better shape.
That's true.
Yeah.
Kids.
They're cute.
Yeah.
I love kids.
Do you?
I do.
I don't have time for them myself.
I'm an Afghan hound guy.
Yeah, I don't want kids, but I think they're lovely.
Oh, well, I got bad news.
That stick you peed on backstage?
We all peed
on one.
Yeah, they just have
them for the festival.
All dressed chips, pregnancy tests.
I'm just picturing them like a carrot platter, you know?
Like there's just a bunch of them.
Well, they're a festival sponsor.
Life brand.
Life brand?
I don't know a brand of pregnancy tests.
Clearly.
First alert.
First responder. First in the first alert. First responder.
First responder.
JFL Northwest is sponsored by Life Brand.
Pregnancy tests.
So specific.
Oh no, they're not available at London Drugs. We're going to get in trouble with the fest. It's so specific. Oh, no.
They're not available at London Drugs.
We're going to get in trouble with the fest.
Chopper's Drug Mart is very good, too.
Saved it.
Do we want to bring out our next guest?
Absolutely.
Where should I move this?
Over this way?
Where should I move to? I don way? I don't care Come on Dave
Our next guest coming to the stage
Another one of our all time faves
On the podcast
You can see his television show
Corner Gas Animated
On the Comedy Network
Please welcome to the stage
Mr. Brent Butt, everybody.
Yeah.
Hello, everybody.
Thanks for joining us.
My pleasure. I just thought we were on a bus ride somewhere
where are you from
are you going all the way
to the Red Deer
that's the worst when you're traveling
and the person beside you starts getting
chitty chatty
oh my lord
right just i'm really into this book especially like on a plane because there's options for
entertainment like a bus all right i guess we're talking but like two minutes i've hit the wall
yeah i'm like i know a minute and 40 seconds more about you than I want to.
I have a question.
Go.
Not to be naive.
What the hell is planned that we need towels in front of us? Yeah, what are these?
I think they're so if you get mad, it doesn't make a big sound when you throw your microphone down.
So you can make your dramatic point without damaging the gear.
Yeah. When you drop make your dramatic point without damaging the gear. Yeah.
Yeah.
When you drop the mic, inevitably.
And that's Brett's calling card.
Oh, butterfingers.
I did eat about nine bags of chips backstage, so.
There's also, there's an eyewash station at the back of the stage.
It could get a little Louis Armstrong-y out here.
What's new? What's happening?
I also just got
back from... We were in LA at the same time.
We were. We didn't cross
paths or anything, but via Instagram
I knew that you were also in LA.
I did not know that you were in
there, but you were eating at a place that I wanted
to eat at. It looked like you were having this really great Valentine's Day. Oh, that was just in our hotel.
But that picture, we did that picture as a gag. It's by far and away, I think, the biggest response
I've ever had on social media. I thought this would be funny. Valentine's Day is just Nancy
and I, my wife Nancy and I, sitting up at the bar, each looking at our phones.
And so we had the bartender
took the picture and everything. And to put it up as a
gag, is it viral?
Do things go viral? Yeah, absolutely they do.
Is that the term? Oh boy.
I can't stop.
It went gangbusters.
I'm from the gangbusters era.
I'm from the gangbusters era.
I love the 23 Skidoo joke, by the way.
It busted me up.
You know what?
Almost as much as I enjoyed how he says,
Ski-doo.
It's like a very... Like it's a skidoo.
Like the way you said it, 23 Skidoo.
Ski-doo.
Ski-doo.
I'm from the city.
I know it from reading.
Not from hearing people talk. Yeah, don't make fun of him for learning his books.
You read all those Jack London books about the skidoos.
Yeah, about the skidoos.
Poin Dexter over here.
I've read a book or two.
That's the sum total.
We're dumb.
I think my love language is
that my wife lets me think I'm kind of smart
even though I've never read a book.
You're still reading a book that the last time
you told me you were reading a book, you were reading that book.
I haven't told you I was reading a book.
Yes, you have.
Backstage, the girl on the train.
No, no.
I just talked about it.
I just, I was.
It's a book he's heard referenced.
Yeah.
It's the last book I read.
Which was a long time ago.
Yeah, a long time ago.
No, I've started books since then.
That would be good.
Just a book with just a couple chapters in it.
Thank you.
It's like our channel.
Yeah.
It's the literary version of the TV thing.
The TV channel, I thought backstage it would be called What'd I Miss?
That's the name of it.
Tonight on What'd I Miss?
It's just the last half of some movie.
Tonight on What'd I Miss.
And it's just the last half of some movie.
It's like that monster truck commercial thing.
We'll sell you the whole book,
but you'll only need the four word.
So, Brent.
Yes?
What'd you do on Valentine's
Oh we were talking
about that
Yeah so I just
I literally got back
I winged in
from Tinseltown
Uh huh
We like to say
in show business
I winged in
from Tinseltown
just today
Home for a couple hours
Petted the dog
and see you later
I'm off to show business
I had to come down here
to do the show
So I got in
at like 4.30 today.
Whoa.
Thank you very much for joining us on the show.
It was a pleasure.
The whole while I was away, I was just thinking about coming here and doing the show.
Yeah.
I was very excited.
I've never done a live podcast before.
How does it feel so far?
It's going so much better than I would imagine.
Yeah.
The notion of doing a live podcast, to me,
seems like, well, that would be a goddamn nightmare,
wouldn't it?
When I've been a guest on your show before,
we have laughs, but there's no audience.
That's what you think.
I mean, there's ceases.
I have a lot of those portraits with
eyes cut out.
Shifty eyes.
So I kind of think
it's like three a-holes jerking
around, you know, and who would enjoy
that? And then
to do it live, I thought, oh my god, what a
recipe for disaster this is.
But you've done this a number of times.
Yeah.
So clearly it's worked
in the past as well.
Yeah,
to varying degrees.
The funny thing is
when we'll do this show
sometimes the sound guy
has never heard of the show
or a podcast,
doesn't know what a podcast is.
Right on the cutting edge
of what's going on.
So he puts out the microphones and then he'll ask us, but while we're doing a podcast, doesn't know what a podcast is. Right on the cutting edge of what's going on.
He puts out the microphones and then he'll ask us while we're doing soundcheck
like, what the fuck are you guys, what are you doing?
Like, is this like a conference?
What are you doing?
A panel discussion.
It's not as funny as a conference, but
it's in that wheelhouse so
when it goes sideways it really goes sideways
yeah
do you go to Los Angeles often
is this a
two three times a year maybe
that's often you're a regular? Two, three times a year maybe. That's often. You're a regular.
Do you have favorite places down there?
Yeah. I'm not going to tell you what they are.
No, no. I don't want you to blow up your spot.
The Hollywood sign.
The Brown Derby.
We like to go to the Brown Derby.
Take a turn
on the dance floor with Greta Garbo.
We have favorite restaurants we like to go to and things like that.
So it's always, I go down and if there's any excuse to have any kind of meeting or do any kind of business,
then I get excited because then it's like, oh, well, let's hang out for three or four days.
Right.
So I'll go down on any whim,
any sniff of interest from anybody about anything.
I'll be like, well, why don't I hop on a plane and come down there?
You'll have a 15-minute meeting and then just go enjoy California.
We're thinking of doing a corner gas all puppet version.
Listen, don't tell me about it on the phone.
I'm just going to be down there.
I just want to acknowledge that that's a great idea.
A puppet.
Puppet corner gas?
Oh, good.
Puppet anything.
Because we haven't taken that around the block enough.
Corner gas.
We haven't.
Nope.
Puppets. They keep coming and saying,
hey, do you want to do more stuff?
I'm like, yeah.
Sure, I'll do it.
I wouldn't mind a gig.
It's Canadian show business, right?
Yeah.
You tell me I was being
teethoed by a ski-doo.
No.
You're telling me I was being teethoed by a ski-doo.
That's like the ultimate.
That's like if you were making a mockumentary about Canadian show business.
Just putting those two words together seems like it's a mockumentary.
Canadian show business.
It's like English ski jumper.
They should make a movie about Canadian show business.
Just show me the last half of that damn thing.
What's the last movie that you only caught the half of it?
Well, I don't know what it was called.
I'm going to have to describe it to you.
But it seemed like this fellow was part spider or some damn thing.
You ever seen one of these crazy set of pajamas on this guy.
No, I don't go, I don't,
there's only a couple movies that if I stumble across it,
I'll be like, hold the phone,
this is the rest of my hour and a half, right?
Well, what are those movies?
Miller's Crossing.
Nice.
Every time.
Just because I love the dialogue.
He's giving me the high hat.
And they give me the high hat.
And they give me the high hat.
Tommy, wake up.
I am awake.
Your eyes are closed.
Who are you going to believe?
There's so many great lines in that movie.
So I'll always do that.
Double Indemnity is another one.
Nice.
If you've seen a movie enough times, it's easy.
You just pick up where it's... HR Puffin stuff.
Really?
No.
I was just trying to think of a funny third one.
Double Indemnity.
Is that black and white?
Yeah.
Pass.
Dave, have you ever seen a black and white movie?
Yeah.
Which one?
That's why he doesn't read books.
They're black and white.
Yeah, exactly.
If you could put color words on the page.
No, I've seen some black and white movies.
I saw Citizen Kane.
There you go.
Yeah, that counts.
That's fine.
Double indemnity kicks the ass off Citizen Kane.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Why'd they settle it, too?
Why not triple?
It's an insurance thing.
Oh.
It's complicated.
Oh, it does sound pretty exciting.
It's the thrilling in and out world of insurance.
Wait a minute.
Plus, Edward G. Robinson.
Oh, boy.
So it's easy on the eyes, too.
Sit back.
Do you have a movie like that, Alicia?
Where if it comes on, you have to watch the whole thing?
Law and Order.
Why haven't they done a Law and Order movie?
Is it just because nobody would go
because it's a bad idea?
Ironically, it's for legal reasons.
They can't do it.
I think maybe The Notebook.
Really?
I don't know why.
And also anything from the Twilight series.
The Twilight series makes me laugh so hard.
And if it's on, I just watch it.
It makes me very happy.
It's so terrible.
I've never seen the Twilight movies.
Is this a fairly accurate analysis of it?
It's like Romeo and Juliet.
Okay.
Except werewolves and vampires.
Not bad.
Is that kind of the nuts and bolts of the piece?
Except Juliet is neither.
Yeah.
No, she turns into a vampire.
Yeah, but through...
Yeah.
That is a pretty major spoiler if you haven't seen the...
It doesn't make it better or worse.
That's the thing I tell you.
It's always bad.
It doesn't make it better or worse.
That's the thing I tell you.
It's always bad.
The scene where they play baseball is one of the funniest scenes ever committed to Cellulite.
Like, it is...
Because the thing...
Oh, my God.
Now I got to see this.
Yeah, it's so funny.
Because in the movie,
they hit the ball so hard that it sounds like thunder.
So whenever there's a thunderstorm,
they go out and play baseball.
So they can disguise it?
They can disguise the sound of them playing baseball.
And they either went to such extremes,
like nobody on this set is allowed to watch
anything baseball related.
You're not allowed to know what baseball looks like.
You can't, like the woman pitching
does this weird ballet step
before she throws.
You can tell that the
actress is very confident that this is
what baseball looks like.
Nailed it.
She screams every pitch.
Nailed it.
Stop saying that.
That's a good one, though.
Yeah, it's something that just makes me so happy.
Now, does that have anything to do with the Underworld franchise?
These are two different franchises, right?
Yes.
But, man, you cannot go to the werewolf vampire bank too often, right?
An insatiable appetite for the...
I think it's been satiated.
It's been about 10 years.
No, I mean
the people line up around the block for it. You come out
with a... It's like
all you have to do when you pitch this is
end it with, but with a new twist
and the checkbook comes out.
Whomp!
Absolutely.
Is that why you were just in L.A.?
I was just in L.A.
I can't say too much But
She becomes a vampire
Corner gas with fangs
Corner gas after dark
Wowee
What's Hank gonna do?
He's gonna bite the wrong thing An electrical cord? What's Hank going to do?
He's going to bite the wrong thing.
An electrical cord?
Oh, boy.
Should we... Do you think it's...
Take a moment to reflect on what we've learned?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
What have we learned so far?
We never take a moment to just reflect.
I was thinking about the movie I will always watch whenever...
Oh, yeah.
What is the movie you'll always watch?
Hey, Dave's here.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
For me, like Back to the Future 2.
Oh, yeah.
And I was thinking about it because they got so much right about the future.
The clothes that shrink to fit.
Yeah.
The dry themselves.
The flea would be your boss.
Flea would be your boss. Flea would be your boss.
Yeah.
And then in the future...
They predicted Doug Ford.
Basically, Biff is basically Doug Ford.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sure.
But I...
Go to Ontario.
That'll kill.
That joke will kill.
The formal wear, like wear that made the business
attire that everyone wears two neckties.
Yeah.
That easily could
have been a thing. But that was like a first
draft idea. I don't know, give them two
neckties? Have you seen
your pants, Dave?
I can't miss them.
What's your movie, Graham,
that you watch?
Probably, yeah,
Back to the Future,
if it's ever on,
or any of the Mad Max films,
just because you don't,
there's nothing to know,
you know what I mean?
Like, you didn't miss anything.
It's driving,
driving fast.
Oh, are they driving?
Okay.
And away we go.
You have another one, the Rocky films.
Yeah, any of the Rocky films, but especially Rocky IV.
Is that the one where they're pulling everything?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where he goes out and he...
The Russian, if you've never seen Rocky IV,
the Russian, he trains the way that you would train
to fight a boxing match.
He goes on a treadmill and such.
Rocky lifts rocks and then at some point helps somebody fix a sled that's gone over.
I don't know how he thought that was going to help him in the ring.
It did.
It did.
He won.
That's true.
Spoiler.
Spoiler.
Yeah.
Any of the...
Roadhouse is another movie. Oh, yeah. Roadhouse. Speaking. Spoiler. Yeah. Any of the, Roadhouse is another movie.
Oh, yeah.
Speaking of fight movies.
That's,
why there was never a sequel to Road,
huh?
That movie's so crazy.
It is so crazy.
It is so crazy.
I saw it for the first time like five years ago.
Weren't they going to remake it with Ronda Rousey?
Mm-hmm.
Did they?
They didn't.
Because they,
she couldn't act.
They realized,
they were like,
she doesn't know how to act.
She can do the roundhouse part,
which is very important in this film.
But she can't do the roadhouse part.
The tearing out the throat thing
was his big move, right?
He has a big, uh-oh, look out Nellie,
here it comes.
Pardon me while I take your Adam's apple.
How many people here have seen Roadhouse?
Not a lot.
That's crazy.
You have your homework.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like a must view.
And Brent's not kidding.
His go-to move in a fight
is to rip out his opponent's throat.
But it's also, it's the thing,
being a good guy,
it's the thing he has to fight against not doing.
I could end this so quick.
No, not now.
It's like a fight with his own claw hand.
Tomorrow's family day.
I think it's the perfect time to watch Roadhouse with the kids.
Kids, gather around.
And it's one of the movies that i've learned that stereotype from the
rich person that owns the whole town yeah that's that's classic roadhouse he he employs a henchman
that's got a monster truck this movie has everything oh god do you like jeff healy's
music he's in it as well he well. He's got a speaking part.
He's got lines.
Jeff Healy is like zinging Patrick Swayze.
I thought you'd be taller.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
It's got so much going for it.
Yeah.
Non-stop.
There is a gratuitous bare breast scene.
So if that's not your cup of jam.
That's why I've never seen it.
My mother
wouldn't let me
to this day.
Do you remember...
My Valentine's date.
Please, Mom,
I'm 38. Can I watch
Roadhouse?
Nope. No.
It's filth.
Do you remember as a kid, like, watching a movie at home,
and then some nudity came on, and you were with your...
Not at home, but in the theater.
Yeah.
But with your parents?
Yeah.
And just being like, uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
This is going to be a talking to on the ride home.
What about when you're on a plane now and nudity comes up and it's just on your little screen?
It's so embarrassing.
Or the dude beside you has got the laptop open and there's porn on it.
What?
You're like, really?
Have you never been in that situation?
It's not actual porn.
What, like anime?
What are you talking about?
What's going on over there?
I mean, I've got a pretty high threshold for porn.
A lot of this stuff is sort of like,
just six people naked having sex.
It wasn't porn.
Listen, I'm from a small town, Dave.
I don't understand the way...
There were only six people to have sex.
Where are you coming from?
Oh, man.
Do we want to move on to Overheard?
Sure, let's do just that.
Overheard? Sure, let's do just that. Overheard.
Oh, yeah.
Basie, right?
Now, before we do Overheard,
we've got a little bit of business that we've got to take care of.
Oh, yeah, we do have a little bit of business.
I totally forgot.
I just remembered myself.
Is this a London drugs thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to auction off some baskets.
Do you have the information at hand?
I don't have it at hand.
I have it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is, we have somebody paid for a Jumbotron specifically to be done
at the live show.
And we are going to do it
justice right now. As soon
as I bring up this, here it is
coming at you. And I can read
along too. Yeah. Jumbotron.
This message
is for
Mark. Where's Mark?
From
Karina.
So this is a person that does
exist, right? I'm hoping.
Happy
35th birthday,
Mark. You're one of my
favorite people.
I'm going to work on the wording there a bit
and i'm so excited to be sharing my life with you favorite person you could say
i'm gonna edit it you are my favorite person
again now this next sentence also doubles down on i hope this is one of the best years you've had so far.
She really couches
everything.
Well, I gotta use all the characters.
But then,
just when you think that you know
where this message is going, it goes,
look forward to marrying you
this year.
Is it a proposal?
I don't know.
It sounded like it was
they're on board.
Barely.
They're on board.
You're one of my options.
And I hope this year's been okay.
So happy birthday.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Mark.
We won't make you stand up, but we might.
Other podcasts would.
Yeah, we're nice, though.
Now, we always like to start overheards with the guests.
We'll start.
Alicia, would you lead the charge?
Okay. overheards with the guests we'll start Alicia would you lead the charge okay so um a little while ago I was taking the dog out for a walk and the dog his name
is Hank corner gas Hank there's two Hanks and and there was a boy about
maybe 12 or 13 walking down the street with a boy, maybe 8 or 9.
And the older boy was a white child with blonde hair.
And the smaller boy was a child of color, perhaps Spanish.
I don't know.
Anyways, that's not...
That part's not important.
Seems pretty important.
I mean, I'm not, like, good at guessing.
I've only been out of the country, like, a few times.
I don't know.
Anyways, so he says to his friend,
hey, Paul, you're a real N-word.
And I was like like what's happening outside
and I just went crazy
on the kid and I was like
Dave and I
have been neighbors so he knows how this happens
and I was like you can't use that word
it's not okay
if I ever hear you say that word again
I will take you
to your parents myself
you should read a book.
You're a fucking idiot.
Wow!
So I'm yelling this, and I've just gone
off on this
child.
I feel really shaken up, too,
because I don't think it's okay to yell at kids.
It wasn't okay that he said that to his friend.
It was very, very upsetting.
His friend looked terrified.
And the kid kind of sassed me a bit, and I just kept going back at him.
I was like, don't sass me.
I'm so old.
I'm so tired.
The world is an ugly place.
It's not the place I wanted to live in.
So I kind of, over the weeks, I feel bad because I see this child, the tall blonde one, all the time.
I know exactly where he lives.
So if I ever hear him say it again, I know where I'm going.
But I don't see his friend that often.
And then one day last week, I saw his friend coming down the street with maybe his brother.
And he tenses up when he sees me.
with maybe his brother and he tends to stop
when he sees me.
And I hear him say something.
His friend says,
she can hear you.
And I'm just like...
So I just try to look cool
as like a 43-year-old crazy person.
And he doesn't miss a beat.
He's like, she's crazy.
Definitely was not a hero that day.
Really humbling to have a child be like that lady with the witch hair.
Just real crazy. That's my witch hair. It's real crazy.
That's my overheard.
That's great.
Yeah.
Outstanding.
That's not a bad rep to have in your neighborhood.
Yeah.
You got a good, like you're a good street cred now.
Well, I also yelled that there's a dad across the street that I call.
Maybe you're yelling at too many people.
I yell. Maybe you're yelling at too many people. I yell, yeah.
He sets off fireworks
for, it was
eight hours of fireworks on fireworks night
and like,
I got... So you call Halloween?
Fireworks night. Yeah, because it's not
Halloween to me anymore.
It's this guy who dresses like Hell's Angel
so I don't call the cops because I'm not 100%.
I'm sure that he's not a full patch member.
Yeah, and I just snapped on him and went up to him and I was like,
do you think you're being a good neighbor right now?
Like that's when we came out and I was like, this is fucking crazy.
And then I looked down and his like child's there. I was like, this is fucking crazy. And then I looked down and his child's there.
I was like, fuck you guys.
Did he stop with the fireworks?
He stopped for a bit.
And then this is what happens
because he stockpiles them for the whole year
and his kid, like his two children.
And one of them will throw a firecracker and then hide from me.
Oh.
Oh, it's great.
It's nothing like being terrorized by a neighborhood kid.
You terrorize them right back?
Yeah.
I really do.
Good for you.
Yeah, I don't have that thing where I can stop myself from screaming at people being really rude.
I've never had it.
You don't need it.
Yeah.
The world needs people like you.
I don't know.
Otherwise, next year it's 11 hours of fireworks.
Then it's 14 hours of fireworks.
Next year I'm getting a hotel.
Yeah.
By then, of course, then you have to deal with people setting off fireworks. Next year I'm getting a hotel. Yeah. By then, of course,
then you have to deal with people
setting up fireworks in the hallway.
Or the maid with the vacuum cleaner.
Do you think you're being a good maid
right now?
It's exactly like that.
It's 9.30 in the morning.
People ordering fireworks from room service.
Yeah.
Yeah, I live in hell.
Brent, do you have an overheard?
It should be a heck of a book.
I...
Well, I thought I had an overheard until that story
with the screaming and the bikers and the n-word and the whole deal
this is more this is this is a good uh it i as soon as i heard this i thought this is i need to
write this down and and bring it to uh the stop podcasting yourself thing because just being in
la this seemed like a very hollywood overheard so Nancy and I, this is our first day when we got there,
and we just go to the lounge in the hotel lobby,
and we're having a drink.
And there's two, they seem to me to be old school Hollywood producers.
Maybe I'm just projecting, because we're the,
hey, we're in Hollywood, everybody's a producer.
But they did seem like that.
And they were like late 60s, maybe early 70s.
They seemed like they were old school producers.
So this is, my overheard is two splatches, as Rich Hall would say.
Two little splatches from their conversation.
So they come and they sit down.
So this is like, I don't know if they know each other already.
It doesn't seem like it because the one guy is kind of laying down the law.
He's getting the upper hand right away.
And he says, listen, I need to trust you to do business
because 90% of what people tell me, I don't know what they're talking about.
And it just struck me because it was such a badge of honor to him.
It was a real, I don't think you know how stupid I am exactly.
You know what I mean?
It was a real twist.
It was like when they tell you if you have a weakness, make it a strength.
It was a real jujitsu mental move.
And then so following up a little bit later in the conversation,
the same guy says to the other guy, he says,
listen, and I'm going to read this because I want to get this exactly right.
He said, no, no, it's not my job to understand.
It's your job to explain me into it.
And if you can't explain me into it, then you're explaining me out of it.
And I was like,
God damn, I am nipple
deep in show business right now.
That's like Miller's Crossing.
My God.
I definitely am going to adopt
that in my life. If you're not
explaining me into it, you're explaining me
out of it.
That line has worked for him a thousand times.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Dave, do you have an overheard?
Not really.
It was a snowy week.
Sure.
So you've heard.
Setting the scene.
Yeah, picture this.
It snowed.
I built a snowman with my daughter.
And the snowman stood.
Oh, it could have been a woman.
So, you know, where's my pat on the back for saying that?
And so we made this snowman.
And beautiful.
The tits on this thing.
Carrot nose.
Three balls.
One's big, second medium, third just right,
and arms twigs.
So we build it.
It's there for like three days.
Then, you know, the weather changes.
It starts raining.
Things get warmer.
And I looked out the window window and it had fallen over
and
pointed out to Margo, my four-year-old,
hey, look at the snowman, and she said,
oh yeah, he's dead.
Dad, you're the last to know.
Yeah.
That's chilling to me.
That is chilling. Literally.
Yeah, snowman's dead Life goes on
He was magic for the time that he was here
Now he's dead
Fair enough
That's life, man
The wisdom of babes, man
Babes
What's up with you, Overheardwise? The wisdom of babes, man. Babes.
What's up with you, Overheard Wise?
Overheard Wise, I was at the Vancouver Canucks hockey game.
Yeah, you've heard of them, your local squad.
And they won.
They won the night that I was there.
And walking, yeah, no, it's true.
It happened.
It happened.
They're fighting for a playoff.
They're right in the mix of a playoff wildcard position.
Yeah, yeah.
They won in a shootout, but it was still a win.
Still counts as a win.
Anyways, I was walking through the crowd,
and I just caught this one sentence,
but it painted kind of a portrait of the whole conversation that this guy was having with his friend, or maybe not friend.
But he was scratching his neck like this, and he was going, well, I only really know Ron Jeremy. That guy was on my flight.
So you know a lot of porn people, right?
Who's your favorite porn man?
I've only seen the back half of his movies.
They all kind of end the same.
Disgusting.
Now, normally on the podcast,
we accept overheard submissions
from the audience through email,
through phone calls,
but since we're in person,
there's a microphone right there.
If anyone in this audience, anyone at all,
hasn't overheard, this is your chance.
Just walk up them stairs as if ascending to heaven.
And yeah, there we go.
Wow.
Some great people right out of the gates.
Beautiful.
Hello.
Like a confessional.
Hello.
Hello. What's your name? Raven.
Hi, Raven.
This is an overheard by my grandma.
She was overhearing
someone at church. It's this
old Swedish lady, and I guess her husband
has been in palliative care for like
six months. And so
she's this Swedish lady, and this is
how my grandma said it.
She said,
the Swedish lady said this,
daddy dearest,
you cannot die today or tomorrow because it is snowed.
And I don't remember where our cemetery plot is.
So if they don't clear it,
you cannot die.
And that's it.
Wow.
That's as good a reason to hang on as any. Raven, everybody.
Guilt him back to life.
And because I guess I'm in charge of burying you.
Yeah.
They don't have a record at the cemetery.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, Dave Graham and favorite guests.
Hello.
My name's Kirk.
Hi, Kirk.
I have an overseen.
And it is 100% my own fault. I was riding up an elevator to a friend's apartment, and the guy next to me had his
phone out.
And you know if somebody has their phone out, you're not necessarily snooping, but you might
just take a peek at it?
Sure.
Who hasn't?
Exactly.
He had a messenger app out.
I wasn't reading the messages,
but I saw the last thing he sent was a picture.
It was himself shirtless,
and he was holding his underpants out.
It was a dick pic.
I saw this guy's dick pic.
Sure.
Wow.
Anthony Weiner just released from the girl today.
That's all right.
Sorry about that, Kirk.
Yeah, sorry.
It's okay. Kirk about that, Kirk. Yeah, sorry. It's okay.
Kirk, off I go.
He saw Dick Pick live as it happened.
He was our star reporter on the scene.
Do you think anyone's called a Dick-ter picture?
I'm going to send you a Dick-ter picture.
He had it out because he was using the fat app.
On it.
Hello.
Hi.
Hello, everybody.
I have this just in case. And what's your name?
Christine.
Hi, Christine.
Hello.
So I was on the B line.
Head in that way.
And there was a whole bunch of
teenage kids that definitely should have
been in school, were not in school
mid-week, mid-day
Yes, yes
I thought you said druids
Druids, with little hoods on
they were all carrying rocks
They were on the B line to Stonehenge
Probably, yes
Well, here you go So we're going between feline to Stonehenge well here you go
so we're going between
Maine and Canby
and one of the kids said
did you see what that weed shop said
and I was like okay
your phone's out now
I'm actually listening and he said
if you had a disability
you get 20% off
it's like do you have $8 in a baseball bat?
I was like, oh my god.
These kids need to be in school.
Yeah, yeah.
Right now.
Christine, everybody.
Oh, man.
Their brains aren't fully developed yet.
That's the problem, right?
Kids are horrible. Hello. Oh, man. Their brains aren't fully developed yet. That's the problem, right? No, yeah, that's okay. Oh, yeah.
Right.
Kids are horrible.
Yeah.
Hello.
Hey, Dave Graham and fabulous guests.
I've got an overheard from...
What's your name?
Pardon me.
Well, to preempt, this is Brendan.
And I've got an overheard from a Seattle area Trader Joe's.
Oh, yeah.
And I've gotten overheard from a Seattle area Trader Joe's. Oh, yeah.
Whispered of around these parts, the mysterious Trader Joe's, peanut butter pretzels.
And there was like a prominent end cap of juice that advertised itself as having the power of seven. And this was among the seven, like pomegranate, plum, probably prune.
Suffice it to say, a lot of like very fiber rich, like stone fruits.
And there was a lady that was pondering this juice
and she turned it over in her hand
and then looked over to her husband
and said,
Hon, if this don't bust you loose
I don't know what will.
Wow.
Brandon everybody.
I feel like
busting loose. I feel like busting loose. I feel like busting loose.
I feel like busting loose.
I feel like busting loose.
We better go get some juice.
Was that Nelly?
Were you singing Nelly?
I think I never know when I'm singing Nelly.
A lot of times you're inadvertently singing Nelly.
Hello.
Hi.
Are you wearing the Space Jam t-shirt for Michael Jordan's birthday?
Yes.
Yes!
Wow!
Nice.
And you got the haircut and everything?
Fantastic!
I'm Rob from Port Angeles.
Hi, Rob.
Hey, Rob.
I was walking around downtown there one day,
and I was walking past the public restrooms,
and a young woman stepped out of them as I was going past
and said to her boyfriend,
there were no locks on those bathroom doors.
If I believed in God,
I would have been praying that no one walked in.
That's very dramatic.
Gotta catch it with the atheism thing every time.
Hello.
Hi, gang. I'm Liz from New West.
Hi, Liz.
I was on the Sky Train and we were pulling into commercial Broadway.
And a drunk gentleman, he said,
I gotta go home and snort a couple lines.
Then maybe I'll sober up enough for my teeth to stop falling out.
Whoa!
Liz, everybody.
Wow.
That really took a route there.
It's a roller coaster.
Four out of five dentists.
Hello.
Ken from Victoria.
Pardon?
Ken from Victoria.
Did you come?
Oh, I thought you said Detroit.
From Victoria.
Okay.
Represent.
So in the grocery store in the like yogurt dairy aisle
I hear a woman
saying as I walk by
oh this will do and then what I
hear from a small child is
that'll do it's a block of
cheese we'll worship it
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter laughter Oh, boy.
If I believed in cheese, I would worship that thing.
Hi, I'm Emily.
I'm from here in Vancouver.
Hi, Emily. Hi, Emily. So earlier today, I was at a walking clinic, and so there's I'm from here in Vancouver. Hi, Emily.
Hi, Emily.
So earlier today I was at a walking clinic,
and so there's lots of people coming and going.
And there was a man who was just waiting,
and then a woman came in, and they recognized each other,
and they started chatting, and I overheard a bit of their conversation.
So the woman said, like, oh, hey, how are you doing?
And he was like, oh, I'm good, how are you?
And she's like, well, I'm on 12 Kids 12 kids now so and then he went wait what 12 what and
she went kids and then he went oh shit
12 kids oh boy if you can make it to a walk-in clinic with 12 kids, you can walk anywhere.
Hello.
Oh, hi. My name is Angela.
I am also from here.
So, based
on listening to you folks
for a while, I'm talking to the
podcasters, not all of you.
I collect overheards
on my free time. this one was from tinder um
hook me up um
there yeah why not well there you go you got your product endorsement in there
oh no oh no okay here we here it goes i'm looking for a femwoman who might think she's attracted to me enough
and comfortable enough to have sex with me for an art project where she'll be documented.
Oh, my God.
But wait, there's more.
It will be clean and classy.
I'll take care of you
please hook me up if you're interested
or if you have questions
heart emoji
wow
clean and classy
wonderful
an art project
it's a good line
it's not bad
it's not an art project
a clean and classy art project.
This is why I'm against art.
You always have been.
I've always said it time and time again.
Well, that brings us to the end of this year's show.
Alicia, you do a show, a fantastic show,
at Little Mountain Gallery.
That's right.
It's called Alicia Tobin's Come Draw With Me.
The next show is March 23rd, and please come draw with me.
Yeah.
If you've never been to the show, it's a can't miss.
It's so great.
So much fun.
Brent, you have your own podcast.
I do have my own podcast but i i'll be
honest with you i'm hit and miss with this damn thing i it's once i do an episode every month or
so sure but what's happened is i'm really pushing my so i started the podcast and i thought i should
have a video component so i started a youtube channel called The Butt Pod, which that's the name of my podcast, if you're interested.
The Butt Pod.
Because if your last name is Butt and you're doing a podcast
and you don't call it The Butt Pod.
It's clean and classy.
Clean and classy.
It's art.
So I started doing videos on the YouTube channel, The Butt Pod.
And it's videos of me on the road doing stand-up
and doing stuff in my little home studio
and all my guests on my podcast.
You guys have...
You weren't...
I wasn't doing videos when you did the YouTube book
with video guests.
Yeah, you couldn't.
I insisted you didn't video.
You're like, I don't have my big pants.
We can't be on TV.
But check out The Butt Pod on YouTube.
Okay. Butt Pod on YouTube. Thank you both be on TV. But check out my butt pod on YouTube. Okay.
Butt pod on YouTube. And subscribe.
Yeah. Like and subscribe.
Don't just subscribe. Like and then subscribe. That's what, right?
Is anybody on TikTok yet?
I'm on TikTok. If anybody wants
to follow me on TikTok, haven't posted anything
yet, but I'm on there. You can find me.
I'm there. I'm on Peach.
Thank you both so much for being
our guests here
at the live podcast
it's been so fun
yeah
Alicia Tobin
and Brent Butt
everybody
and thanks
to all you
for coming out
here tonight.
If you want to say hello, we'll make our way to the lobby to say hello after the show.
And thanks so much for coming, everybody.
Have a safe trip home.
Have a good night.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.