Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 114 - Ryan Beil

Episode Date: May 17, 2010

Ryan Beil returns to talk To Catch A Predator and tribute bands, then we open a package....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 114 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the Enrico Palazzo of this podcast, Mr. Dave Shumka. Refresh my memory. Naked Gun, that's the opera singer that he's pretending to be when he's the umpire.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Oh, okay. Intimate knowledge of Naked Gun. the umpire oh okay intimate knowledge um i was gonna say something about the canucks bandwagon but then i switched at the last second no i'm still on the bandwagon you don't no doubts uh you're one of the few that uh you made you keep it warm all year round uh our guest here today second time uh to the podcast a very funny man man. An actor, comedian, improv artist? Is that improv actor? Improv performer. Hamburger spokesman.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Hamburger spokesman. And just a great all-around guy. Mr. Ryan Beal is back. Hi, guys. Hey, man. How's it going? Pretty great. It is pretty great.
Starting point is 00:01:19 It's good to have you here. Thank you very much. Shall we get to know us? Yes, please. Get to know us.. Thank you very much. Shall we get to Noah? Yes, please. Get to Noah's. Ryan Beal. Yeah. You're one of the all-time favorite guests.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Really? Yeah. People often remark how great the episode that you were on was. Oh, fantastic. So a lot to live up to. I figured. You were really loosey-goosey before, but now you're probably a little tense. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:01:46 But you're going to do great. I think so, yeah. What do you want to do? Well, I just... Let's go ride bikes. Okay, great. I was hoping you'd say that. Run a sweet racing bike.
Starting point is 00:02:02 What's going on with you? What's new? Aside from the race biking? Yeah. No, no. Tell me more about that racing bike. What's going on with you? What's new? Aside from the race biking? No, no. Tell me more about this racing bike. Thank you. Nothing. I'm in a span right now of nothing.
Starting point is 00:02:13 I finished doing this play, this one-man hit play, one-man show. Is that Billy Bishop Goes to War? Yeah, Billy Bishop Goes to War. I thought there were two men. Yeah, but there's only one guy doing any acting. One is the Billy,
Starting point is 00:02:24 and the other one is the war? Yeah, he's in the war. He plays it on a piano. And you feel it. Boy, do you feel it. And how did it go? How was the run? It was good.
Starting point is 00:02:36 It was great. We did it in Saskatoon and we did it in Vancouver and now it's over and now I'm kind of just sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. Saying yes to any podcast that comes. Any and every podcast. Just got to get the buzz out there. Yeah, yeah. You got to put the...
Starting point is 00:02:53 A lot of casting agents listen to this. Absolutely. That's what I heard. The last TV movie of Wind Up My Back was cast almost exclusively from this podcast. Now, Ryan, a couple things. When you came in, you tickled my dog.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Well, you pet him. You didn't tickle him. He's not ticklish. Not at all. But you asked if he was Brindle. Is he a Brindle dog? He is. And you said you had something to say. Well, it's more than a statement. And that is to say I don't understand what the term brindle is. I don't understand where it's from.
Starting point is 00:03:29 It's just that the color is kind of golden brown. And I also think that it's maybe one of the worst colors. Okay. Sorry. I don't care for it as a color. Okay. Well, this has gotten off to an awful start. You don't like a golden brown
Starting point is 00:03:45 Is it on an animal you don't like it Or you don't like that color, period I guess just that color, period I guess just if Bob Ross was mixing that color up On his painting show I would turn the channel I don't think you would I'm going to challenge you on that
Starting point is 00:03:59 Well he's dead and we'll never know That's true No, I'm teasing. I just wanted to get a rise out of you. I don't mind. I guess it's just the term Brindle tickles me a little bit. Okay. That's the thing. It sounds old English.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Yeah, all the dog patterns have funny names. There's Brindle. Yeah. There's Dapple. Swazzle. There's Dapple. Dapple? What's Dapple?
Starting point is 00:04:24 I don't quite know. Orange and... There's Pieapple. Swazzle. There's Dapple. Dapple? What's Dapple? I don't quite know. Orange and... There's Piebald. Yeah. Whoa. What is that? I don't know. That sounds drunk.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Send that back. Yeah. This guy came in here all piebald. He's throwing his weight around. Three sheets to the wind, piebald through the roof. And then there is Missy. Missy? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yeah, I don't think of the color. Wow. How did you know that color? I've just been looking at dogs on the internet recently. Yeah? Are you thinking about picking up a dog? Thinking about it, absolutely. Maybe it's time to settle down and take control of another species.
Starting point is 00:05:01 Another organism. Yeah, finally prove your dominion. Rule another organism. Yeah, finally prove your dominion over the animals. Rule. Yeah. Rule. Yeah, exactly. So you're thinking about getting a dog? Just looking on the internet.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Loosely. What do you like? I like little dogs. I like dogs that think that they look awesome, but in fact look ridiculous. You know what I mean? They think like, oh, I've got it going on, but they shuffle around like they've got amputated little limbs or whatever. They shouldn't be.
Starting point is 00:05:30 They shouldn't exist. I like an awkward-looking dog. Like a weird mix? Like a Scottish terrier. What's weird about that? I think they're adorable. I love them, but they think they're just the best thing ever created, God's gift to anything.
Starting point is 00:05:44 But then, in actuality, they're quite ridiculous. They are pretty ridiculous. That's true. I think. A wiener dog? Sure. Wiener dogs are the greatest. A basset hound.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Basset hounds are pretty funny looking. Long-eared droopy. Ooh. Yeah, yeah. What are those that are like Japanese and they kind of look like a fox and they're like round? A shiba inu? Oh. Do you know what I'm talking about? They have a curly tail? Yeah. Yeah, it's a shiba inu a fox and they're like round. Oh, Shiba Inu? Do you know what I'm talking about? Do they have a curly tail? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Yeah, they're kind of funny. Yeah, they're funny looking. They're a funny looking little dog. Shiba Inu? Never heard of that one. Yeah, yeah. You gotta get yourself one of those. Look that up. We had a we still do have this enormous book of dog breeds.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Before we got a dog, this is just how Abby and I would entertain ourselves. Although it's kind of, there's a scene in The Simpsons where Mr. Where is he? Nope. Skinner. Principal Skinner. Yeah, see? Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:06:39 He and his mother are, his mother's going out, but he wants to stay home with her like they do every Friday night and make up funny captions for their bird book. And we have a dog book that's filled with funny captions. But in the actual thing, there's one Japanese dog where in the actual text of the book. A Japa dog, they prefer to be called. Sure. In the text of the book, it says that this dog is known for its slanty eyes. Oh, really? Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Well, in the dog world, it's like anything goes. Yeah, you can just grab a ball. Whatever you want. Just grab some junk, just stare at it. What are they holding What are they Feeling for
Starting point is 00:07:27 A hernia When they grab balls Yeah At the dog shows Oh right They kind of do that The ball grab What is that
Starting point is 00:07:34 Not sure Your dog has to be intact Because dog shows Are based around breeding Oh so They're making sure That those are real testicles That they're there
Starting point is 00:07:44 Oh yeah But what about nudicles There's the thing I don't know There's the thing Nudicles Yeah breeding. Oh, so... They're making sure that they're there. Oh, yeah. But what about nudicles? There's the thing, nudicles. Is nudicles like the Westminster doping? If you're the kind of person who's into purebred dogs and would go and have a show,
Starting point is 00:08:00 you would want... You're not the kind of person who would fix your dogs. What about this? Sitcom premise. Okay, here we go. It's a person who's really into dog breeds. Their kind of dopey, hickish cousin or friend or brother comes, notices that the dog... He's from the city.
Starting point is 00:08:17 He doesn't understand that dogs sometimes have balls. Takes it to the vet. Thinks that he's doing the person a favor. They come back. The balls are gone off of the dog. The hick is from the city doing the person a favor. They come back. The balls are gone off of the dog. He's a hick from the city. He's got a farm on a building top.
Starting point is 00:08:33 It's a spinoff from the show Hick in the City. Babe, Hick in the City. He's got a farm on a building top. He's not a hick, but he's a a farm on a building top yeah yeah no he's kind of he's not a hick
Starting point is 00:08:47 but he's like he's like a dumb plumber and he moves up with his upscale Connecticut there you go there you go and then
Starting point is 00:08:54 yeah he thinks he's doing you know he's trying to earn his keep takes the dog gets it neutered it's two weeks away from the big
Starting point is 00:09:01 Westminster dog show yeah neuticles nice right or whatever something yeah he tapes some meatballs on there or something yeah It's two weeks away from the big Westminster dog show. Yeah, yeah. Nudicles. Nice. Right? Or whatever. Something. Yeah, he taped some meatballs on there or something.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah, because he's kind of dumb. What a meatball marinara. Not going to work, Tony. Who would be cast in this? This is a pretty good show. Tony Danza. Obviously, it's a Tony Danza vehicle. I've never heard of one.
Starting point is 00:09:21 I've never heard of one. Danny Aiello. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he could do it. He could knock it out of the park. I like Tony Danza's The Plumber. Who's the snooty David Hyde Pierce? Yeah, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Or a young John Lithgow. The grandpa from Gilmore Girls. Any of your waspy acts. Yeah, I really like John Lithgow and Tony Danza. What is the show called? Hick and the City. Hick and the City. From the City to Hick and the City.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Hick and the City. Hick City. Hick City. It's pretty good. Which is the opposite of what it is. That's what's so surprising about it. Good ideas. Good ideas.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Here's something I wanted to bring up. Yeah, yeah. Is last time we hung out Ryan Is it Brian? It's Ryan Okay Yeah no B The B is silent
Starting point is 00:10:08 It's Brian real And you told me that you had become obsessed With To Catch Your Predators Oh yeah Yeah What was it? Recently? Like you were watching them on YouTube
Starting point is 00:10:22 I was watching yeah I watched the entire series of Toing Creeps for free on YouTube. 10-minute clips. Yeah. Yeah, I was mildly obsessed with this cross-media and law enforcement venture into catching creeps. Was law enforcement involved? Yeah. And it was ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:10:41 And it got to the point where in the 10th episode, he just let the cops go. They had cameras on the cops, and the cops were just pumping it down, like, get on the ground, you scum! Like, scum! I know these guys are creeps, but it got way out of hand. Because I remember when it first started, the cops weren't even there.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Exactly. Only the first one, there was no... These guys just got to leave and be embarrassed one guy was a rabbi I remember that oh man the thing that's crazy is that it went on for how many seasons
Starting point is 00:11:17 would you say at least four but it wasn't weekly every now and then I think at least 12 miniseries. So, say, let's say after eight, there's still dudes that are showing up to the house... I know. ...upon request, taking off all their clothes, walking into this house.
Starting point is 00:11:34 This conspicuously well-lit kitchen. And, like, they always ask him to bring ridiculous things, like, I want two cheeseburgers, a full pizza... And a box of condoms. Exactly. Like, just, like, all right, yeah, okay. No, she doesn't ask for the condoms. He thinks to bring the condoms.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Which proves his intent. And the booze. Yeah. Here's the one thing I heard about it was those cops are kind of like, what's his name, Curtis Hanson? Chris Hanson. Chris Hanson. Him and his assistants would put the call out to that county,
Starting point is 00:12:06 and then it was just whatever cops wanted to be a part of it would show up. So it wasn't even cops necessarily from that area. They could have been from eight towns over, but they were like, Oh, I'll be on TV. And they all got paid for their appearance on the TV show. Wow, so they really played it up. Yeah, so it wasn't like just, you know, we'll call the police department
Starting point is 00:12:25 and the police will show up for this sting we're doing. They paid these cops to come up and they were like, when he comes out of the house, like, run him into... Like, bury him in that log. Oh man, and they did. Oh God, it's just awful. I remember occasionally
Starting point is 00:12:43 the same person would show up twice. Yeah. There was one guy. There was one guy. They caught him. And then the very next day, first of all, they caught him. And they asked him to get naked and come into the house. And he did.
Starting point is 00:12:56 So they caught him naked. It was just super embarrassing. And then the very next day, they caught him chatting again to a decoy. Like, hey, want to meet up? But he's like, this time he did it at a McDonald's. And they caught him again. And then they confronted him at the McDonald's. They're like, John, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:13:12 I remember that. And he's all like, I was just trying to get somebody to eat. I was just trying to get somebody to eat. It's incredible. And they just ream him out again. Just totally embarrassing. But the coup de grace, as he's walking away, they film his shoes and his shoelaces are undyed. And you know
Starting point is 00:13:28 the producer's like, get his shoelaces, get his shoelaces. This guy's a mental defective. Well, he's got to take them off soon. Someone could ask him to get naked at any second. That's how he lives his life. Yeah, that was pre- Crocs. Thank God for Crocs.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Wow, it's... Anyways, it's uh anyways it's awful it's an awful i'm not a fan of it but i can't but you are off of it yeah yeah it's crazy to me that uh because you go on something like uh like if you've ever been on the craigslist yeah thing there's like always things for people to meet and i'm like that seems to be the easiest way to get mugged ever, is like, hey, yeah, show up at this apartment, or show up at this restaurant, and then they could just, oh, that's the person who's here, and I've told them to bring this thing and that thing, or wear this shirt so I know what they look like, and I will just rob them, and they'll be too embarrassed because they were meeting me here for something very untoward.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Exactly. It's not like the, hey, let's go for a drink, but like, hey, do you want to cheat on your wife or whatever? Well, there's an iPhone app called Grindr. Okay, go on. Which is for gay men. Well, maybe women. Gays. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:43 But it's only for gays apparently who want to just hook up and it's got a map and it will tell you who is the closest person to you who wants to have sex Jesus! And someone had it at my house a couple weeks ago
Starting point is 00:15:00 Oh my god! And where's the closest? Like 400 meters, no 400 feet 400 feet? From where we were sitting So in one of these surrounding houses Are you looking at all your neighbors differently? No I know they're all gay
Starting point is 00:15:16 It's the one that was You crossed him on his way in He was wearing the cross hatch leather Yeah yeah yeah Gay Johnny Yeah Gay Johnny He was wearing the crosshatch leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gay Johnny. Yeah. Yeah, Gay Johnny.
Starting point is 00:15:28 I don't know. So what, do you register your address or something? Yeah, I think you go on a website and you can put pictures of yourself. And of course, since it's an iPhone app, everyone's picture is done with the icon. But is it like, and then you just update on a daily basis, like, yes, horny, no horny? Yeah, boner is existent. It's like Twitter. It's like Twitter if you're horny. Boner.
Starting point is 00:15:54 It's four square for your boner. For your meat? For your boner. Oh, I see. For your meat. Yeah, that's what I said. I go, my genitals, my meat. My meat.
Starting point is 00:16:05 My butcher area, my butcher shop. My lumber. My lumber yard. Yeah. Lumber yard and quarry. Yeah. Couple of rocks down there. Doing a lot of work down at the lumber yard and quarry.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Oh, Lordy. Dave, what's been going on with you? Well, you remember a couple weeks ago when we recorded our last podcast. Yes. I was so excited to wash my car. Oh, yeah. You really were. I was really excited.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Because I've never, since I've owned a car, I've never lived in a house that had a hose Right, yes And the weather had been bad For weeks on all the Saturdays My car was getting dirtier and dirtier And I didn't want to give in You were getting angrier and angrier I didn't want to give in and take it to a professional car wash I wanted to do it myself
Starting point is 00:17:01 And I did And it was pretty great. But I was kind of expecting more lusty looks from ladies. Sure. Like, ooh, who's this guy? Who's the new kid in town?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Likes to keep his wheels clean. Come on, Janine, let's go. This is her boyfriend. Hey, Johnny. likes to keep his wheels clean. Come on, Janine, let's go. This is her boyfriend. Gay Johnny. Gay Johnny. But instead, I didn't get that. I got a few people
Starting point is 00:17:35 saying, hey, maybe you should wash mine. Really? A couple dudes? A couple ladies, too. Well, that's kind of what you were looking for. Maybe it was. Hey, you should wash my car? That's basically like... That's like your boner act.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Or they would just point to their car and say, do my next faggot. Hey, how long does that hose extend? But, uh, is there anything sexy about a man washing a car?
Starting point is 00:18:05 Maybe a different man. Depending. I don't know. I've always thought, like, I always think of that scene. I think it was in Dodgeball. Is that the name of that movie? Where they're like, we'll throw a bathing suit, car wash, and then it's all the dudes from the Dodgeball team. That's always what I think of.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Like, I don't think guys... I always thought the realm of sexy car wash was the woman's. That was woman's work. I don't know if generally women find men wet. Doing labor. Do they want men to get wet? Men seem to want to get women wet.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Soaking wet. That's a great idea. I don't know if that's the opposite. The reason I was thinking about this is there's a show. One of the channels, I think it's 89, is Hello Latino. Okay. And it's both. It's like all Latin languages.
Starting point is 00:19:00 So it's Italian, Spanish, and maybe Portuguese. But there's a part like every Friday and Saturday night, it's porno town. Oh, nice. So there's a show on every night, every Friday and Saturday called Latin Lover 2, which is just Spanish people fighting and then having sex. But it's followed by an Italian show called Sexy Car Wash. And is it what it promises? Well, no, it's a game show.
Starting point is 00:19:32 It's a game show. Both contestants are inside cars and when they win, women in sexy clothes wash their cars while they're inside it. That sounds pretty good. Really? Yeah. They just sit inside it. That's pretty good. Really? Yeah. They just sit inside it.
Starting point is 00:19:46 That's all the show is. Wow. Wow. Did anyone ever beep the horn? Probably. You can't tell with the music blaring. Oh, wow. Speaking of game shows,
Starting point is 00:19:57 did you hear that Steve Harvey is going to be the new host of Family Feud? Finally. Yeah. Post-Obama America. Am I right, guys? All right. Post-racial. What hosts have been the hosts in our lifetime?
Starting point is 00:20:11 Louis Anderson. Ray Coombs. Ray Coombs. What's his name from Home Improvement? Richard Karn. Karn. Al. Al Borland.
Starting point is 00:20:18 The Jay Peterman guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He was the most recent guy. Most recent. And the original guy. The original guy. I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:20:24 He was the guy. I don't either. And the original guy. The original, who I don't remember. He was the guy. I don't either. But I know he would kiss people. Yeah, he would kiss all the ladies. Bruce Coburn. Yeah, sure. It was a dangerous time. I can't remember his name.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I knew it, and now I can't remember it. Pierre Elliott Trudeau. That's true. A young Pierre Elliott Trudeau. Famous for his carnation. Is it carnation? Yes. But yeah, it's just a related note.
Starting point is 00:20:53 I thought I'd throw it there. I saw that on Peachtree TV. Steve Harvey's the new host. Thank God for Steve. Yeah. He's a suit designer as well. Oh, for five-button suits? Five-button, brightly colored suits.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Zoots? They're almost zoots. They're almost zoots. On a lesser man, that would be a zoot. Sure. You've got to have bigger shoulders, I think. Yeah. Steve Harvey.
Starting point is 00:21:17 What was the name of the show he was on? The Steve Harvey Show? That's right. I think you're... The one where he's the music teacher? Yeah, Cedric the Entertainer was his PE teacher friend. And he really liked the single principal. Was it a kid's show?
Starting point is 00:21:31 No, it was a sitcom. It was a sitcom. And he had like these three students, a white guy named Bullethead. Bullethead. And a black guy named Romeo, who sadly was recently killed with a bullet in the head. Who sadly was recently killed With a bullet in the head I'm sorry It's not true
Starting point is 00:21:50 I'm sorry It's true We'll miss you I'm so sorry But that was the show It was a sitcom And they all had their trials and tribulations And dates
Starting point is 00:22:03 It was He was an ex-jazz musician. Actually, I'm glad we're talking about this, because I'd like to talk about Tyler Perry's House of Pain in a second. Okay, sure. We can start right... Well, Cedric the Entertainer, now he's a more famous guy than Steve Harvey. I would say so. But they're both on that...
Starting point is 00:22:22 And they're both the original Kings of Comedy. Kings of Comedy. It was Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer. Bernie Mac. Bernie Mac. And the young guy who was on. Was it D.L. Hughley? Or was it.
Starting point is 00:22:34 What was the sitcom? John Mulaney. There was a sitcom. That's funny. Where they were. They just moved into. The four of them were? oh, oh no, sorry. It was a, it was a black family that had moved into a predominantly white neighborhood and the guy putty from Seinfeld was on it.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Hick City? I want to say it was called the Hughleys. Oh, yeah. The Hughleys. It was the Hughleys. Yeah. Yeah. D.L. Hughley.
Starting point is 00:22:59 D.L. Hughley. That's it. Okay. What was the one, what was the animated, uh, black family or claymation? Oh, uh, the PJs. PJs. PJ What was the animated Black Family? Or Claymation? Oh, the PJs. PJs, okay. Eddie Murphy. Was Eddie Murphy involved?
Starting point is 00:23:09 He was the voice. He was the voice. Okay. He did a lot of the voices. He was the voice of a generation. And a donkey. I just, the other night, oh, sorry, it was last weekend.
Starting point is 00:23:18 I was watching TV, and I've only ever watched four or five minutes of Coming to America. Yeah, great film. And so I watched. I love that movie. When was the last time you saw it? Oh, I think I would be 11 years old and I refuse to rewatch. I watched it about eight years ago, I will say.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah. I watched it with somebody who saw it when they were 11 or 10 years old and thought it was so funny. It is painfully unfunny. It is so hard to watch. No, you're wrong about that. Because here's the thing. Eddie Murphy, that was just the beginning of the Klumps era
Starting point is 00:23:54 he was moving into. It was before that. But it was him playing all those different characters. Right. Well, there's that one part. But, no, there's many parts. That's the thing. No, they're all fat at the dinner table.
Starting point is 00:24:06 At the dinner table. Janet Jackson's there. But Arsenio Hall can't do that. And yet he does the same thing in the movie. He plays numerous characters. All of them sound like Arsenio Hall. It's true. It's awful.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I don't remember that being throughout. Neither did I until I watched it. Every scene is set up around them in their regular kind of face, watching them in crazy putty makeup doing something. That's literally the entire film, which I didn't realize. Because America is so crazy. Yeah, so it's them. Oh, because America is so crazy. Yeah. So it's them, like, they go to the barbershop.
Starting point is 00:24:47 They go to some, you know, church thing. They go just on the streets in the ghetto. Everybody around them is played by Arsenio Hall and Eddie Murphy. They're like, what a crazy country. Well, yes, through those eyes. It certainly would be. Oh, man. How did we get off on that?
Starting point is 00:25:13 Black entertainment. That's right. Oh, you wanted to talk about House of Pain. We don't have to dwell on it. It's just awful. Is it any relation to major pain? No. No, in the sense that it's not funny, maybe. But
Starting point is 00:25:27 it's, you know, it's just one of those sitcoms that has nothing going for it. You really did want to talk about it. Bubbling with enthusiasm. I heard, and I think I want to say that I heard this on one of our
Starting point is 00:25:44 Maximum Fun sister casts, the Jordan and Jesse Go. Jordan, Jesse Go, sorry, not and. Where Jordan or Jesse explained that Tyler Perry's House of Pain, that Tyler Perry figured out that you hit syndication
Starting point is 00:26:00 after 100 episodes. And that's when you can sell your show as a package to affiliates all over America, and that's when you can sell your show as a package to affiliates all over america and that's when you can really cash in he shot 100 episodes in a year so that he could like usually you would just shoot 20 episodes a year over five years or however many but he was like i'll just shoot them all in a year and then I'll be a millionaire. Which he did and he is now a millionaire. That's why, because they all sound
Starting point is 00:26:31 they must be improvised because the dialogue is just so awful. They're talking over each other they're sort of like mugging and looking around it just seems like they all got together, just some actors in a room, decided what the scene was about and said go.
Starting point is 00:26:46 And that's interesting to me but now that I hear that he did it in 100 and that's why. Yeah. It's actually pretty... It's brilliant. The scheme. It's funny because they showed him on I think it was Oprah when he was up for the... because he was one of the producers
Starting point is 00:27:01 that made Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire. And his office, the front waiting room, has a huge waterfall in it, which is one of those things like Steve Martin and the Jerk, like you get money and then you're like, I've always wanted a waterfall in my
Starting point is 00:27:17 book. Waterslide to work. From my bedroom to my office. To the kitchen, down to the basement. You can stop and keep going. The flip gate. I want a pizza machine that shoots pizza into my mouth. Speaking of people knowing their lines and stuff,
Starting point is 00:27:41 how good was Betty White on SNL? She was great. Great monologue. I haven't watched the rest of the... I've watched the first half hour. Pretty funny. I thought she was funny. I thought she was very funny.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I liked her a lot. And how great was that Jay-Z medley? So good. Wow. Pick a song, Jay-Z. You don't have to. Just run the catalog. He's got too many, Dave.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Yeah, that's true. But he... Yeah, it was good. And she memorized all of her bits which oh yeah that's true that's that's really frustrating when robert de niro is on there reading cue cards de niro reading cue cards when is it do you think that they memorize it and then the last second they panic i think so and then they just start reading no no i think i think there's changes up to the last second. Oh, really? So they tell people, keep an eye on the cue cards.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yeah. Wow. Because, did you ever watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? Yes. A five-minute clip. I watched... After To Catch a Predator. Between.
Starting point is 00:28:39 A little palate cleanser. Well, I made some popcorn. This To Catch a Predator clip is brought to you by Studio 6. You'd have to sit through the same five minutes. To Catch a Predator. But they, he, it was based on that kind of a show. Right. Because I remember that and 30 Rock came out the same year.
Starting point is 00:28:57 And they were both these new shows based on Saturday Night Live kind of. Weren't they on the same network too? But one was really took itself way too seriously and was ridiculously wanky yeah Matthew Perry was the the
Starting point is 00:29:10 like genius yeah writer who wrote every sketch every week yeah what was
Starting point is 00:29:20 what was his big sketch that they like wanted to ban or whatever oh I forget something about Christians or something like that oh it was those crazy Christians.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Yeah, he was like the famous... Yeah. That's the thing they always never seem to be able to get right. Something you see on like Omnichannel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those crazy Christians. They always do in like a Law & Order or a show like that, whenever there's a comedy show or a comedian thing,
Starting point is 00:29:46 they're always off by, you know, just... It's the same when they try to do pop music, too. Yeah, no, that's true. That's true. Or social networking sites. Yeah, can you look it up on... Yeah. And then it's like some connotation of Facebook and YouTube.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Exactly. On their face Facebook and YouTube. Exactly. On your face. Yourface.com. That makes me think of when I bought this Nintendo Power cheat book when I was young, and the cover art was done by someone with a vague understanding of what video games were. It was all this stuff like, yeah, dragon riding a cloud that's on fire. You've never seen any of these from any of the games you've played. It's just like some 40-year-old
Starting point is 00:30:26 like, this is one of the video games. Kids like this are jumping around on a crazy... Well, all the Atari video games had these elaborate covers for the boxes. And then you had to play the game that's one color.
Starting point is 00:30:42 But yeah, I can't remember. There was some show... law and order well i've seen definitely law and orders where they've had comedians and then they show like the comedian on stage and they're just like yelling something and then it cuts the audience they're all laughing i'm like that just never would happen in any comedy club. They're laughing like hard. Yeah, and then they're like, Jake was the rawest comic there was. And you're just like, no, but he would never think that was funny. Except for the brief period where people thought
Starting point is 00:31:14 Sam Kinison was great, because he would just be like, bah! Which I guess is what these writers are referencing in their head, like, yeah, this guy's like a Sam Kinison guy. Because that's all he did, was just scream and stuff, right? You know what else Weather Show misses the boat
Starting point is 00:31:30 on representing real life? Matlock. It's like, everything on that show's just skewed. Yeah, it's like everything from the 80s and early 90s. Exactly. Not like the gritty realism they have today with trauma and McDreamy, whatever that show's called.
Starting point is 00:31:53 What is that show called? Scrubs. Which is still on TV. I've never seen him one episode of that. You should. You'd love it. Ryan, it's right up your alley. It's got a dragon on a fire cloud. I love that. You should. You'd love it. Yeah. Ryan, it's right up your alley. It's got a dragon on a
Starting point is 00:32:06 fire cloud. I love that. I like it when people recommend TV shows. I mean, I watch TV every day. Yeah. I've avoided Modern
Starting point is 00:32:15 Family and Will and Grace. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Although, speaking TV, I've now passed through season three of my quest to watch all the seasons of The Wire. Okay. Oh, nice. End of season three. I wish you well. Which one through season three of my quest to watch all the seasons of The Wire.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Okay. Nice. End of season three. I wish you well. Which one's season three? Season three is City Hall. Okay. Politics.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Yes. Yeah. And the discs that I was watching them on kept skipping out on things, so I'd have to fill in the blanks using YouTube, uh when you like i'd have to go like well i don't know what happened at the end of that episode but it must have been something major so then i would just type in the episode and it would always have that clip uh but season three wow oh it's amazing every every bit of that show is a masterpiece i love the wire yeah it's fantastic okay season four just starting well okay spoiler alert if you haven't seen the wire zip forward uh 30
Starting point is 00:33:07 seconds a minute okay uh but what happened was the thing that skipped on the disc i was watching is stringer bell goes to the construction site to go confront this guy on all the cost overruns and then the fucking cd just said skips sk over, and then it goes to the credits. And I was like, well, I don't know, but I have a feeling something happened there, because there was a lead-up to something. So then I jumped ahead to the previously on, from the next episode, and it shows Stringer Bell getting killed. So he's like one of the main characters. Is that only season three? Yeah, season three. He gets shot at the very end of season three by Omar and, yeah, with the main characters. Is that only season three? Yeah, season three. He gets shot at the very end of season three
Starting point is 00:33:46 by Omar and with the bow tie. Peewee Herman. Brother Muzan. Brother Muzan. Peewee Herman. But that was exactly the moment where it skipped, just as he walks in the door and then...
Starting point is 00:34:01 I sure hope people fast forward two minutes. Yeah, well, you know what? I said spoiler alert. I did all the parts that I... Yeah, they're grown-ups. Yeah, if you haven't seen it by now, you're Graham. Yeah, exactly. You're trying to muddle through.
Starting point is 00:34:15 You're luggage. You're luggage. You're luggage. Do we want to move on, or do you want to do that? Oh, we can do that after. Okay. Or do you want to do it now? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:34:23 It's your thing. Oh, it's not my thing. It's Or do you want to do it now? Whatever. It's your thing. Oh, it's not my thing. It's our thing. Okay. We'll be right back. Okay. All right. So, as previously mentioned on the last podcast, there is a special time of year.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah. Only comes around once a year. A special time in a girl's life. Yeah. Well, these are both true things that are happening right now. But from now up until May 28th is a little thing called Maximum Fun Drive, which I don't think I just made up. That's a real thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:57 It's happening. And what it is is MaximumFun.org, which has been... They are our benefactors. Yeah. And they've been putting out great podcasts for, I think, I want to say 10 years. Yeah, this is the 10th anniversary of them. Which is great. And we are...
Starting point is 00:35:12 The traditional 10th anniversary gift is Canadian podcast. Is a Canadian podcast. Yeah. Which they gave to... You, the listener. Yeah. So now we're linked up with them. And, you know, over the time that we've done this podcast, people have asked, how can I donate to the show?
Starting point is 00:35:30 And we didn't really have any kind of way to do that or understanding of that. Jesse Thorne does. Yeah. The Maximum Fun organization does. So what they're doing is between now and May 28th, you can go on their website, MaximumFun.org slash donate. And there will be a page where you can donate.
Starting point is 00:35:50 You can sign up as a monthly subscriber. Yeah, that's the best way to do it because that way you get prizes. Yeah, and why don't you run down what the prizes are? Well, uh... Per donation, Dave.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Okay. Well, you can give $5 a month, $10 a month, or $20 or more a month. What do I get if I donate $5 a month? Well, you can give $5 a month, $10 a month, or $20 or more a month. What do I get if I donate $5 a month? Well, you get the Maximum Fun DVD. Woo! What about $10? What if I'm a Richie Richbags?
Starting point is 00:36:13 I don't know what's on the Maximum Fun DVD. Porn. Go on. Okay, porno. Maximum taint. Is it porn or porno? Depends on if you have any class. If you're classy, it's porno. Porno. E-A-U-X.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Yeah. Ex-ante-gu. Sorry. $10 a month, you get the porno. That's not a porno. And a t-shirt of your choosing. Yes. The day we're recording this is the day of public voting on the t-shirts.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Yeah. So we don't actually know what t-shirt you will be getting, but you'll be getting probably... Yeah, you can get a Sound of Young America t-shirt, you can get a Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt, or a Stop Podcasting Yourself t-shirt. Yeah, which people have also been requesting for a long time, and we also didn't know how to do that. We're a couple of rubes. Yeah. So that's 10. What about 20? 20 and up, you get the previous two things.
Starting point is 00:37:09 The porno. The porno t-shirt. And a special gift. And also, what's neat is if you're somebody who likes to go on the... It's a mystery gift. A bag of tar. I think there's stuff listed.
Starting point is 00:37:26 We really should have read up on the upper echelon. Oh, yeah. But here's a great little... I think it's a neat little bonus. If you donate and you're somebody who regularly goes on the forum at Maximum Fun, if you donate, you get a little ticker next to your... A little signature that says that you're a donor. You get a little rocket ship next to your little signature that says that you're a donor. You get a little rocket ship next to your name.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Yeah, it separates you from the pack. That's a free gift. But here's the thing. My thing has always been, in this past year, just a couple of weeks ago, I spent $20-odd to go see the movie Oceans. And it was shit. And that's 20 bucks. I didn't enjoy. I didn't get anything out of it.
Starting point is 00:38:11 But when I think about how many hours I've listened to Maximum Fun, 20 bucks is a drop in the ocean for how much entertainment I've had. So it's one of those things where you're like, I don't know how much to donate. It's up to you. You don't have to donate at all. I mean, that's the thing is they're trying to do this to keep it free. Yeah. And that's what's so great about it. The whole thing's free.
Starting point is 00:38:31 The catalog, the entire catalog is up forever. Yeah. For free. Yeah, for free. Why don't you give back? If you enjoy it, if you enjoy what we do more than a movie, then think about how much that would be worth to you per month to donate to them. Because they want to keep us going. We want to keep this thing going.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Can you watch a movie while you're on the bus? Nope. Can you watch a movie while you do your graphic design job, which half of our audience seems to do? Well, no. I can't. My boss frowns upon can you watch a movie while oh what else do people masturbate no nobody listens to the podcast graham what nobody listens to the podcast while they do that with that thing that i will not even repeat that thing you do no
Starting point is 00:39:19 i like that movie so anyways It's a really It's a really Neat thing Because I've never been A part of a thing That has any kind of Donation Mechanism involved
Starting point is 00:39:32 And I'm excited That this is the first Time to be involved In a fun drive They should make That thing you do Porno Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:39 Where it's about You masturbating Yeah And Tom Hanks watches Yeah And it's like You got talent. Since you're on tour.
Starting point is 00:39:48 But yeah, if you're interested in donating, please do. And it's like anything you can donate, whatever you feel it's worth, it's completely up to you. Dave explained what the prizes are. But go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and make good on things. Yeah. Thanks everybody. Yeah, thanks. Do you want to do some Overherds? Sure. Ryan, would
Starting point is 00:40:14 you join us again? Come back. Overherds. Overherds. The longest running segment in North American history. Yeah. Longer than whatever other segment you're thinking. Any segment. Overheards.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Things that you overhear, oversee, overread, which isn't really a thing, but come on. Overwrought. Yeah. Overdone. Whoa. Overpass. Overkillpass Overkill Yeah, thanks
Starting point is 00:40:46 And we like to start in a Clockwise? Clockwise procession Not starting with me, starting with the guest In the realm of overheards And then of course we've got listener overheards So let him go Ryan, would you like to start us?
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah, I only have one And it does and the man did have a bit of an accent, I think, was British, and it is gardening season. Is that man here with us? Can we speak to him? Let the record show, I'm pointing at Matlock. No, and I was walking in the nice summer air, and I overheard a gentleman say this to another gentleman. I don't know what he said. And she was holding the branch of a Roto that would never grow again.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Roto. Matlock. Drama king. That would be a Rotodendron. Yes, exactly. Yeah. It would never grow again. From whence it came. Or a rhododendron. Yes, exactly. Yeah. It would never grow again. From whence it came.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Or a rhodorooter. The hardest plant to grow. Or a rhodorooter. Is it really the hardest plant to grow? No, I don't know. I think a bonsai. It is the cruelest one. If Karate Kid 2 taught me anything. It requires a lot of restraint. Bonsai. Car waxing. Yeah, because you just
Starting point is 00:42:03 want to shout at that little tree. You want to get on one foot and kick it with your other foot. And date the girl who lives across the road. Anyways. Etc. Dave? This past weekend I went to Seattle.
Starting point is 00:42:19 And this isn't... Tossed salad and scrambled eggs. Yeah, the blues are calling. Let me cut you off right there. I overheard this. Frasier. Yeah. And I don't know what to do
Starting point is 00:42:38 with those toss salad and scrambled eggs. So that's mine. Going again. Thank you, Seattle! Okay, I was... The place I was staying was right between the two huge stadiums. It was... There's the baseball stadium.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Safeco Field. Safeco Field and the football stadium, Quest Field. And there's... In between the two of them, there's like a theater. Right. Where rock acts will play. You're U2. You're in excesses.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Rock bands from 1989 will play. A Def Leppard? Maybe. They're the hardest band to grow. leopard maybe all right they're the hardest band to grow and on them on the marquee what was uh a sign for the next night uh which featured daughtry okay oh yeah from american idol yep the bald one and uh and lifehouse which i believe are maybe Christian Rock. Could be. Lifehouse. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Yeah. And there were a couple. There were tons of people going to the baseball game. I was just down there to get a hot dog. But there was a couple, and they were in their late 30s. And the guy pointed out, hey, Daughtry's here with Lifehouse. And his wife went, damn! And they went on to
Starting point is 00:44:11 talk about how they didn't think they'd be able to get a sitter two nights in a row having gone to the baseball game that night. Yeah, look, we picked baseball. It was baseball or Daughtry. Well, had I known that Daughtry was on the table. Was on the bill.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Certainly didn't know Lifehouse was going to be involved. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's performance is the part of Daughtry. It was won by the understudy. Bruce Will and Tony Danza. Lifehouse. Mine comes courtesy of a bit of signage as well um you were talking about uh participating in something called dine was it called dine in vancouver dine out vancouver dine out vancouver dine in vancouver let's just stay home and warm something up um dine in already vancouver
Starting point is 00:44:58 this is a a kind of a similar uh type thing. It's a convention called Eat Vancouver. Okay. And there was a big billboard by my house that advertised kind of the celebrity contingent that was going to be at Eat Vancouver. The first person was Rob Feeney. Okay. Local chef. Local chef. Was he on Iron Chef or something?
Starting point is 00:45:22 He maybe won Iron Chef America. Yeah. So he's got some kind of cred And then there's a guy called Chuck Hughes From a Food Network show called Chuck's Day Off Isn't he in the White Spot ads? Is he the bald guy? No, he's a...
Starting point is 00:45:38 No, that's... Okay, go ahead And then the third person is Larry Thomas You guys may know him as the guy who portrayed the Soup Nazi on Psycho. Oh, no! No! That's bad. He's got some cred.
Starting point is 00:45:58 I think you can find him on HollywoodIsCalling.com. Yeah, and he goes, no birthday for you. But he can never say no soup for you. That's copyright. But they know he's not a real chef, right? Like that he's just an actor who played a guy who's a chef? Yeah, there was a news story with him in town a couple years ago, and he was doing some benefit in character.
Starting point is 00:46:22 He does the whole benefit like that. I don't even think he has a mustache anymore. The character had a mustache. Yeah, definitely. Stalin-esque. Yeah, I don't think he has it anymore. But he... He's still the guy.
Starting point is 00:46:35 It's good enough. Yeah, I wonder if he hates having a mustache, but it's his only moneymaker. So do you think he has a fake one that he puts on for events, like a press-on? I would, but I wonder if he would keep the mustache just because rents do at the end of the month.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Yeah. But they bring him in for a fundraiser that's against baby illnesses, and it's called No Croup for You, and he's just got to be like, it's Larry Thomas who's kind of affiliated with... just got to be like it's larry thomas who's kind of affiliated with baby elvis's illnesses okay yeah with baby elvis's yeah don't bring up baby elvis's him in the room and what does that have to do with croup
Starting point is 00:47:19 he's been fighting for their rights for ages i just sorry that no group for you got lost in the shovel And then, as is our tradition here in our little village We like to read overheards sent in by listeners to our email account That's adorable Isn't it though? This first one comes to us What's our email account? Oh, sorry, it's stoppodcastingYourself at gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:47:47 And this first one comes to us courtesy of Tyra from California. Ooh. I was watching over my boyfriend's younger cousins, boy 10 and girl 7, while their parents had a night out on the town. The boy cousin kept annoying his sister by putting his face extremely close to hers and staring her down as if to say, I'm not touching you so you can't do anything to me. Classic kids. Totally within the rules.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Yeah, right? I wonder if kids are just born with that knowledge of how to do that, because I don't recall learning it. No. Well, yeah, it's a loophole. After 30 seconds of this she told him your breath makes me cough which uh is a pretty she says uh my boyfriend and i don't tell each other your breath makes me cough when we think the other needs a mint wow it's not bad right they've turned a into a positive. Or something. Something. Or yeah, something.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Definitely something. Guys, it's something. That was everything. Well, it wasn't nothing. We can agree on that. This second one comes from Kevin K. Kevin K. In a Borders bookstore,
Starting point is 00:49:00 a cute couple was contemplating kids' names whilst perusing books. Girl, how about Dolph? Boy, Dolph? Girl, yeah kids' names whilst perusing books. Girl, how about Dolph? Boy, Dolph? Girl, yeah, it's short for Adolf. How about Sleany? Sleany? Short for Mussolini?
Starting point is 00:49:17 Sleany? I'm pretty sure that's not his first name. Mussolini Smith. Mussolini Mussolini. It's like Galileo Galilei. Putros Gali. We get it, we get it. Is Dolph short for Adolf?
Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah, because I was thinking Dolph Lundgren. Is there a chance? Must be. It could be short for Dolphin. Dolph Lundgren. Is there a chance? Must be. It could be short for Dolphin. Dolphin Lundgren. Dolphin. Totally great. Sorry, I'm just trying to find the third one here.
Starting point is 00:49:55 That's fine. Take your time, honey. I love overheards. Thanks. I was told a funny overheard once, but it wasn't from recently. Fine. But a producer from one of the commercials I did told me this, and he was in the southern United States, or a friend of his, or maybe. I'm not taking credit for this, but it's a funny story.
Starting point is 00:50:17 It was a lineup for a Kentucky Fried Chicken in the southern states, and a woman ordered a 24-piece bucket. And the guy said, okay, yeah, would you like that for here to go? And the woman said, just kind of laughed and went, what do you mean? I gave you a 24-piece bucket all to myself. Of course I'm going to take it home. And then the guy behind the counter said, bitch, I don't know your life. Gets right to the point. It's part of the matter, don't you think?
Starting point is 00:50:40 No, it sounds fake. No, I think it was for real. We've had it on this very show before. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:50:49 And it was fake then. Wow. Because people wrote in and were like, that's fake. Wow. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. No, it's all right. No, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:50:55 We'll edit that out. Yeah, cut that out. He said it was his. Yeah. Don't fight. It never happened. Oh, wow, guys. Have you ever had somebody tell an urban legend thing to your face as if it happened to them?
Starting point is 00:51:10 Well, there was my friend who was in Mexico and found a cute little dog on the street. Turned out it was a rat. Oh, yeah. Did that happen to your friend? Yeah. And then he ate a poinsettia and died. Yeah. And then the rat went on to be
Starting point is 00:51:26 cooked in a bucket of kentucky fried chicken what about you uh i actually had somebody claim that uh that their uh their boss's wife was involved in that urban legend about the famous in this story it was bill Cosby, but it's a famous black entertainer in the elevator. Have you ever heard that one? No. Where it's an old lady, old white lady, gets on an elevator.
Starting point is 00:51:53 By black entertainer, you mean Richard Gere, and elevator, you mean the mouse in his butt. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. No, the old lady gets on, and then the black man in the elevator says, hit the floor, and she jumps down the floor because she thinks she's being mugged. But it turns out she leaves the hotel the next morning and there's a big bouquet of flowers for her.
Starting point is 00:52:15 And it says, thanks for the biggest laugh I've had in years. XO, XO, Michael Jordan, or Bill Cosby, or any other. Or Cedric the Entertainer. Or Cedric the Entertainer. Or Bullethead. He was white, though. Yeah, that's right. He was white. jordan or bill cosby or cedric the entertainer cedric the entertainer or bullet head he was white though yeah that's right he's white and that's he's alive he was the one who was scared god he's and he's the only one um this one comes from eric l and it's a it's an overseen it's a photo of a a poster that he saw at the place where his band practices,
Starting point is 00:52:45 and it says, Wanted, Bono the Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. for U2 Tribute Band. So that leaves the bass player? They got one guy. But he's spot on. Does anybody want to guess what the tribute band is called? Oh, he's already named it? Yeah, it's already named But wouldn't you wait for the other three members?
Starting point is 00:53:11 Is it called Us As Well? Nope Is it called The Unforgettable Fires? These are both, those are really good Okay, is it called The Zoropas? Yeah, they still haven't found what I've been looking for The streets with no names. That's the tribute band you always have to pick a song, right?
Starting point is 00:53:30 Not these guys. These guys didn't go that route. Or unless you're Nearly Neil. Yeah, or if you're Minikiss. Sure. Who are they? What's the band name? U2.0.
Starting point is 00:53:43 No. 2.0. No. Wow. Yeah, there's the poster. It's pretty professional. I thought it would be way shittier than that. But they really, yeah, they have
Starting point is 00:53:55 the bass. I play bass, and I do poster design, and I name bands. Also, Edge must bring on Toot. I wonder if anyone's ever started a tribute band who wasn't even interested in music
Starting point is 00:54:13 just found out, hey, I look like that guy. I should learn the bass. Yeah, there was a guy like that on, you know those shows where they'll do a theme show where it's all, I look like so-and-so. And one of the people, I think it might be the one that does the Shania Twain, Shania Twin. I don't think she was a singer.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I think that she looked enough like Shania Twain to be a tribute act to her. When I was in Las Vegas, I stayed at a hotel, the Imperial Palace, which was a mishmash of themes. But it looks like a Chinese. It looks Chinese. Yeah, I stayed there as well. It's all Chinese themed. The other theme is smelling like cigarette smoke. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:56 And the third theme. But that's like China. China smells like cigarette smoke. Yeah, sort of. They don't really have laws over there. And the third theme is that they have dealers who are entertainers. And their entertainment is that they are celebrity lookalikes. No.
Starting point is 00:55:13 So there was a Whitney Houston, there was a Shania Twain, a Dolly Parton, and they would have to stop dealing cards for like five minutes to occasionally get up and sing a song. Wow. Chinese. So I wonder if... That really sums up what the Chinese are doing in the world right now. I wonder which came first in that crazy triforce of job description.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Like, did they look like them first? Were they a singer first? Or were they like, okay, we'll make you Dolly Parton and you Raffy. You Raffy? Well, he can't be anything else. You got a better idea? You know,
Starting point is 00:56:00 for the guy who looks like Raffy. You got a better idea? He's like, what if I put on these glasses? I could be late era Ringo. Yeah, sure. He could be 70s Elton John. Actually, I just hosted Talent Time, or co-host Talent Time, and there was a Beatles tribute band called the Fab Forever.
Starting point is 00:56:16 And they did a good couple sets. Yeah, one of, I think I mentioned on the podcast ages ago, a gentleman that we all know, Aubrey Tennant. That was it. That was that band. Yeah. Oh, that was their band. That was the Fat Forever. Yeah, his brother played in that.
Starting point is 00:56:31 They were great. They put on the costume. They were the best Beatle tribute band. They went through all the eras. Oh, wow. They did the mop tops, and they did the longer hairs, and then they did the almost broken up. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:44 The facial hairs. And then one of them left early and then they did the anthology reunion where it was just the three of them. One guy pre-recorded it. Sorry. Sorry. They don't sing, they just talk about old times.
Starting point is 00:57:02 And wear weird vests. We also have... Weird vests And wear weird vests. We also have... Weird vests. Really weird vests. We have a collection of overheards from our listeners who have telephones.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Yes. If you want to call us, please don't hesitate and call us at... Oh, my God. 206-339-8328. Thank you. U2 cover band.
Starting point is 00:57:24 So good. U2.0 you U2 cover band So good U2.0 U2.0 That's amazing That is pretty good All I want to do is come up with names of cover bands Yeah Okay
Starting point is 00:57:33 Well let's do that after this round of overwintering Okay That's really great Let's do rapid fire Rapid fire Oh yeah let's do rapid fire That's really good Like different bands
Starting point is 00:57:44 Okay so we go in We'll go one in a round Or maybe just like a brainstorming session We'll move on from band to band This is great It's going to be great Load them up Hello Grammys, this is Todd the Pokebumper As I mentioned before
Starting point is 00:58:01 I work going door to door And the other day I was working And these two kids who just got out of school were walking behind me when suddenly I heard one of them shout, I'll fucking sell you my pudding. That's a young Donald Trump making his first business transfer. That's what I'll do. I'm sure it started with, can I have some pudding? I'll fucking sell you my pudding. You're not going to eat it.
Starting point is 00:58:28 You think it escalated right from, can I have some pudding? Maybe the first kid was like, I'm just going to throw away this pudding. Pretty great. All right. Next. Cashforpudding.com. Hey, guys. It's RJ from Tacoma, Washington.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I've got an overseen for you. There's a bright yellow Dodge right in front of me and the license plate frame says, on the top it says alumni, and then on the bottom it says what's the matter with you? Ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:59:04 I shouldn't laugh at that that's such an old joke because that's from Rocky and Bullwinkle that's where Bullwinkle graduates what's a matter of you shut up your face give me a PhD and shut up your face
Starting point is 00:59:22 and minoring in enough already. Bada bing. Oh, wow. That's really great. That was one of those, like a license plate frame. Yeah. Nice. I need to get a new license plate frame.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Yeah, me too. Yeah. I don't like my current one just advertises where I bought my car. They don't need the free advertising. I'm a hot commodity. Do they still sell those things? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:50 We saw on the drive back from Seattle last weekend, we saw a great one. It was just silver snakes all around. Oh, I like that. I like it. Ryan Beal, you have a car? Is that right? Well, sometimes I borrow. My family has a truck.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Nice. And I borrow and drive that around. I don't think you're allowed to just put a license plate frame on a family truck. Oh, that'd be cool with that. They get you. Absolutely. With my posters
Starting point is 01:00:17 and my frames. Sure. And your YouTube cover band. YouTube.0. Get out of here. That's awesome. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Sally calling from Vancouver.
Starting point is 01:00:30 I just waited in line for about 10 or 15 minutes behind a guy in a grocery store who was buying Kittens USA magazine and nothing else. And just so you know, Kittens USA is a $10 magazine. Kittens USA. Yeah, that's how you spot a potential future boyfriend who's got money to burn. Or someone who's going to be up to catch a kitten predator.
Starting point is 01:00:53 I've got all the latest issues. Or, like, my kitten's being featured in this. I want to prove it to all my friends. I'd buy like five copies I'd be out 50 bucks showing people my kittens USA worth it
Starting point is 01:01:11 yeah of course you've got a great kitten in the kitten circles or maybe you finally got an article in your review of that tabby kitten down the road down the road now I know you've heard about my neighbor's cat. This kitten knows what he's doing.
Starting point is 01:01:28 Sometimes you see a magazine and you pick it up and it is like $10. Yeah, or more. It's not a monthly magazine usually. It's like a yearly guide to gadgets. Miley Cyrus. But those thick Cosmopolitans get up to close to $10, don't they?
Starting point is 01:01:48 Aren't they pretty pricey? But they're so thick because of the advertising. Oh, the advertising. Yes, yes, yes. Magazines, it seems to me, should be free now. It seems to me. Because of all the commercial. It seems to me that I live my life like a candle in the wind.
Starting point is 01:02:02 It seems to me. But, you know, magazines, I buy a ton of them. Me too. But I read them once and I throw them away. No, I don't. I keep them. Yeah, me too. In case I need that stew recipe from GQ.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Or if you're collaging. Sure. You know, if you're collaging. Making a dream board or a vision board. Yeah, You know, if you're collaging. Making a dream board. Or a vision board. Yeah, yeah. A mood board. Is that what Lady Gaga does?
Starting point is 01:02:33 Are they called mood boards? That was... Vision boards? I went to this thing last year called Creative Mix. And it was these people... Isn't that Vancouver's new comedy club? It was this conference for creative people to talk about creativity and someone went on about mood boards
Starting point is 01:02:53 and it was just colors colors on a board figuring out Is that like when you glue tissue paper to something to make stingrays? I think so, yeah I love that Do you do that right, too? Just to calm myself down tissue paper to something to make stained glass? I think so, yeah. It's a lot like that. I love that.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Do you do that right, too? Just to calm myself down. And during Christmas season. That's the best cards. Oh, lordy. Now, we were talking in between... Oh, sorry. For the overheards, again, the email address is
Starting point is 01:03:24 stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. Thank you to everybody who sent them in. Those are great. We read them all every week. We've got a limit of three per each, per type. And then, yeah, if you want to call us, it's 206-339-8328. But in between the overheards we were talking about how great it was trying to come up with cover band names
Starting point is 01:03:48 oh no we played that that made it a show oh I'm sorry I thought it was cut out but good so I don't have to explain so how do we want to do this somebody just says the name of a band sure Genesis
Starting point is 01:04:04 okay Genesis leviticus obviously leviticus or exodus or something like uh uh the i can't answer yeah i was gonna say that uh oh yeah invisible touches we will save your life tonight no wait that's just phil collins on his own i think that's uh elton john. Oh, wasn't Somebody Saved My Life Tonight, wasn't that somehow connected to... I don't know. I believe that's Elton John. Genesis? Sugar Bear? Is it Sugar Bear? Okay. Well, that's a dead end.
Starting point is 01:04:33 Yeah, we exhausted Genesis. Oh, no! This is Rathafat. I think that might be Phil Collins solo. This was a garbage one to start with. Okay, Dave, you shoot one out there. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, Aerosmith. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Nice. Aerosmith. The Amazings. The Crazies. The Crazies. The toys in the attic. That's not bad. That's not bad.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Oh, man. What do you got there, Black? All I can think of is an Aerosmith. Oh, the man making an Aerosmith. Or an arrow, rather. The Alicia Silverstones. Yes, Alicia Silverstones and the Littletilers. Oh, the We Don't Want to Miss a Things.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Sure. When in depth, take a lyric or title and pluralize it the Run DMC Collaborists that's actually a really great name for it that's good
Starting point is 01:05:32 what about what about the Bogues no next sorry sorry Christmas in New York there you go
Starting point is 01:05:41 there you go the Eurythmics I bet they have really great cover bands because they're all about the makeup see I'm trying to think of puns Christmas in New York. There you go. There you go. The Eurythmics. Oh, wow. I bet they have really great cover bands. For sure. Because they're all about the makeup. See, I'm trying to think of puns. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:50 The Eur... Eur... Eur... Rhythmics. Eur... Rhythmics. Eur... Rhythmics.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Sincerely Eur... Rhythmics. A night with the Eurhythmics. Sincerely... Yours. Yours. E-U-R... Yeah. Sincerely yours. That's great-U-R-S. Yeah, sincerely yours.
Starting point is 01:06:06 That's great. Oh, wow. Or rhythmic gymnastics. Sure. Pretty good. Okay. Eurythmics and blues. Were you going to say Jamiroquai?
Starting point is 01:06:17 Jamiroquai. No, I wasn't. I'm embarrassed of what I was going to say. Go ahead. Well, I don't know any J embarrassed of what I was going to say. Go ahead. Well, I don't know any of Jamiroquai's... Prince. Prince. Oh, oh.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Purple Hazes. Purple Rain. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the Bat Dance. The Bat Dance 3.
Starting point is 01:06:48 Yeah, depending on how many people Are in your Prince tribute group The Bat Dance 3 Alright well this is Ooh Papa Roach Papa Roach The Last Resort
Starting point is 01:06:58 That was pretty great I cut my life into pieces Suffocation No breathing Don't give a who That was pretty great. I cut my life into pieces. Suffocation. No breathing. Don't give a who. The mama. You can do something with the papa.
Starting point is 01:07:13 The mama. Oh, yeah. You cross that over. And what's the opposite of a roach? Butterfly. Yeah. Papa butterfly. The mama butterfly.
Starting point is 01:07:25 The papa roast Tree. I'm sure no one's enjoying this. Well, we are. I am sweating. I'm having so much fun. All right. Well, let's... Oh, sorry. Yeah, let's.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Oh, well, for the first time ever, this isn't the first time we've been sent something, but this is the first time I've had the good sense To hold off on opening it I'm usually so excited Yeah, we've received a few packages over the years None suspicious Yeah, this is from Emily F.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Of Denton, Texas Oh, the best ever death metal band Out of Denton What's that? Never settled on a name Anyway, go ahead Okay, let me just So you're opening it right now What's that? Never settled on a name. Anyway, go ahead. Okay, let me just... So you're opening it right now.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Yeah. U.S. Postal Service? It's a padded envelope. Yep. Like a crazy person would wear. Yeah. Oh, something from Target. Okay.
Starting point is 01:08:19 In a plastic bag. Target, right guys? And also something else from Target. But you really went all out. Or really went to Target. Dave and Graham, love the show. Thanks for all the hours of entertainment. And then there's sparkly pictures of teddy bears.
Starting point is 01:08:36 One's doing karate. Oh, I hope they're from Kittens Annual. One's dressed like Santa Claus, et cetera. Pass that around. Thank you. From Texas. Yeah, Thank you From Texas So we have in this plastic bag Another Plastic bag
Starting point is 01:08:54 Very wasteful I'm sure it was a protective measure There's another one It's like Chinese dolls Russian dolls. Hey, look. Oh. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:09:08 It's a dog water dish or dog food bowl with grandpa's name on it. Yeah, thank you. And I think it's, yeah, on the bottom, there it is. It's hand-painted. It's got our name on the bottom, Emily. That's beautiful. Yeah, nice work. You know, if you had that on the floor of your kitchen and someone walked in your house and didn't know you had a dog named Grandpa
Starting point is 01:09:26 They would be thoroughly confused Grandpa eats on the floor That's what you eat And then, what was in the secondary? I hope it's for humans Oh, buddy, it is for humans like you and Ryan Beal It's Twix peanut butter Oh my god
Starting point is 01:09:44 Get in there Get in there Twix peanut butter. Get in there. Twix peanut butter. These are great. Enjoy. They're in my list of things that will kill Graham on sight. Really? You can't eat the peanuts, eh?
Starting point is 01:09:59 I'm a pussy when it comes to that kind of stuff. My brother, too. It's every other nut but peanuts. Oh, really? Or maybe it's peanuts and all nuts. I brother, too. Actually, no, it's everything, every other nut but peanuts. Oh, really? So he's all... Or maybe it's peanuts and all nuts. I don't know. He almost died one Christmas.
Starting point is 01:10:10 So I know. Anyway, be careful. Don't eat those nuts. Oh, God. Lay off the milk, kids. Well, thank you so much, Emily. And thank you to everybody who sent in over the past few weeks
Starting point is 01:10:23 for the t-shirt contest at MaximumFun.org. Some fantastic entries. If you want to check them out, go to Maximum Fun. The voting is over. No, but if you just want to see them, they're so great.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Oh, they were great. Everybody did such a great job. And thanks to everybody who sent them in. And thanks for everybody who sent in overheards and whatnot this week. Ryan, if people want to find out about you, they can see you each and every week at the Sunday service. Sunday service, yep.
Starting point is 01:10:53 They can see you in a national broadcasting spot for A&W. You play the old manager. I play the old manager. I'm kind of like the Estelle Getty of – I'm much younger, but I play older. Right, right, right. That's right. Of the advertising world. Yeah, thesundayservice.ca is a website where you can find information on my group.
Starting point is 01:11:16 If you're ever checking out comedy at the China Cloud in Vancouver, you can find me there doing stuff. And you're also a co-host of Paul Anthony's Talent Time. Yeah, my trademark character, Alan Felix, co-hosts the show. Can we speak to Alan Felix for a moment? Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Hello. The character is me with sunglasses. I just wear sunglasses and call myself something different. Like Joe Cool. Exactly. Classic Alan Felix.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Classic Alan Felix. Well, it's really, yeah, if you're in Vancouver or anywhere in the surrounding area and you've never had the pleasure of seeing Ryan Beal perform live, it is a treat and it is worth the trip. Thanks, guys. And Dave, do you have anything you want to plug? I'm drawing a blank. I'm going to say no. OK. Well, as we said earlier, this is donation season.
Starting point is 01:12:17 So make good on any kind of – if you want to donate to any of the podcasts, that's great. If you want to donate to ours in particular, put that's great. If you want to donate to ours in particular, put a note that says hey, I assume you can when you make the donation who you're donating to. But yeah, send in donations because MaximumFun.org
Starting point is 01:12:38 is a great, great organization and we are now a big part of it. They're keeping us afloat. We're keeping them afloat. And we're keeping them weighted down slightly. Probably. Yeah. That's called
Starting point is 01:12:48 symbiotic relationships right there. And yeah, everybody thank you very much for listening and come on back next week for another entertaining episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.

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