Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 114 - Ryan Beil
Episode Date: May 17, 2010Ryan Beil returns to talk To Catch A Predator and tribute bands, then we open a package....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 114 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the Enrico Palazzo of this podcast, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Refresh my memory.
Naked Gun, that's the opera singer that he's pretending to be when he's the umpire.
Oh, okay.
Intimate knowledge of Naked Gun. the umpire oh okay intimate knowledge um i was gonna say something about the canucks bandwagon
but then i switched at the last second no i'm still on the bandwagon you don't no doubts uh
you're one of the few that uh you made you keep it warm all year round uh our guest here today
second time uh to the podcast a very funny man man. An actor, comedian, improv artist?
Is that improv actor?
Improv performer.
Hamburger spokesman.
Hamburger spokesman.
And just a great all-around guy.
Mr. Ryan Beal is back.
Hi, guys.
Hey, man.
How's it going?
Pretty great.
It is pretty great.
It's good to have you here.
Thank you very much.
Shall we get to know us?
Yes, please.
Get to know us.. Thank you very much. Shall we get to Noah? Yes, please. Get to Noah's.
Ryan Beal.
Yeah.
You're one of the all-time favorite guests.
Really?
Yeah.
People often remark how great the episode that you were on was.
Oh, fantastic.
So a lot to live up to.
I figured.
You were really loosey-goosey before, but now you're probably a little tense.
Absolutely.
But you're going to do great.
I think so, yeah.
What do you want to do?
Well, I just...
Let's go ride bikes.
Okay, great.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Run a sweet racing bike.
What's going on with you?
What's new?
Aside from the race biking? Yeah. No, no. Tell me more about that racing bike. What's going on with you? What's new? Aside from the race biking?
No, no.
Tell me more about this racing bike.
Thank you.
Nothing.
I'm in a span right now of nothing.
I finished doing this play,
this one-man hit play,
one-man show.
Is that Billy Bishop Goes to War?
Yeah, Billy Bishop Goes to War.
I thought there were two men.
Yeah, but there's only one guy doing any acting.
One is the Billy,
and the other one is the war?
Yeah, he's in the war.
He plays it on a piano.
And you feel it.
Boy, do you feel it.
And how did it go?
How was the run?
It was good.
It was great.
We did it in Saskatoon and we did it in Vancouver and now it's over and now I'm kind of just
sitting around waiting for the phone to ring.
Saying yes to any podcast that comes.
Any and every podcast.
Just got to get the buzz out there.
Yeah, yeah.
You got to put the...
A lot of casting agents listen to this.
Absolutely.
That's what I heard.
The last TV movie of Wind Up My Back was cast almost exclusively from this podcast.
Now, Ryan,
a couple things.
When you came in, you
tickled my dog.
Well, you pet him. You didn't tickle him. He's not ticklish.
Not at all. But you asked if he was Brindle.
Is he a Brindle dog? He is.
And you said you had something to say.
Well, it's more than
a statement. And that is to say
I don't understand what the term brindle is.
I don't understand where it's from.
It's just that the color is kind of golden brown.
And I also think that it's maybe one of the worst colors.
Okay.
Sorry.
I don't care for it as a color.
Okay.
Well, this has gotten off to an awful start.
You don't like a golden brown
Is it on an animal you don't like it
Or you don't like that color, period
I guess just that color, period
I guess just if Bob Ross was mixing that color up
On his painting show
I would turn the channel
I don't think you would
I'm going to challenge you on that
Well he's dead and we'll never know
That's true
No, I'm teasing.
I just wanted to get a rise out of you.
I don't mind.
I guess it's just the term Brindle tickles me a little bit. Okay.
That's the thing.
It sounds old English.
Yeah, all the dog patterns have funny names.
There's Brindle.
Yeah.
There's Dapple.
Swazzle.
There's Dapple.
Dapple?
What's Dapple?
I don't quite know. Orange and... There's Pieapple. Swazzle. There's Dapple. Dapple? What's Dapple? I don't quite know.
Orange and...
There's Piebald.
Yeah.
Whoa.
What is that?
I don't know.
That sounds drunk.
Send that back.
Yeah.
This guy came in here all piebald.
He's throwing his weight around.
Three sheets to the wind, piebald through the roof.
And then there is Missy.
Missy?
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't think of the color.
Wow. How did you know that color?
I've just been looking at dogs on the internet
recently. Yeah? Are you thinking about
picking up a dog? Thinking about it, absolutely.
Maybe it's time to
settle down and take control
of another species.
Another organism. Yeah, finally
prove your dominion. Rule another organism. Yeah, finally prove your dominion over the animals.
Rule.
Yeah.
Rule.
Yeah, exactly.
So you're thinking about getting a dog?
Just looking on the internet.
Loosely.
What do you like?
I like little dogs.
I like dogs that think that they look awesome, but in fact look ridiculous.
You know what I mean?
They think like, oh, I've got it going on,
but they shuffle around like they've got amputated little limbs or whatever.
They shouldn't be.
They shouldn't exist.
I like an awkward-looking dog.
Like a weird mix?
Like a Scottish terrier.
What's weird about that?
I think they're adorable.
I love them, but they think they're just the best thing ever created,
God's gift to anything.
But then, in actuality, they're quite ridiculous.
They are pretty ridiculous.
That's true.
I think.
A wiener dog?
Sure.
Wiener dogs are the greatest.
A basset hound.
Basset hounds are pretty funny looking.
Long-eared droopy.
Ooh.
Yeah, yeah.
What are those that are like Japanese and they kind of look like a fox and they're like
round?
A shiba inu? Oh. Do you know what I'm talking about? They have a curly tail? Yeah. Yeah, it's a shiba inu a fox and they're like round. Oh, Shiba Inu?
Do you know what I'm talking about? Do they have a curly tail? Yeah.
Yeah, they're kind of funny. Yeah, they're funny looking.
They're a funny looking little dog. Shiba Inu?
Never heard of that one. Yeah, yeah. You gotta get yourself
one of those. Look that up.
We had a
we
still do have this enormous book
of dog breeds.
Before we got a dog, this is just how Abby and I would entertain ourselves.
Although it's kind of, there's a scene in The Simpsons where Mr.
Where is he?
Nope.
Skinner.
Principal Skinner.
Yeah, see?
Pretty good.
He and his mother are, his mother's going out, but he wants to stay home with her like they do every Friday night and make up funny captions for their bird book.
And we have a dog book that's filled with funny captions.
But in the actual thing, there's one Japanese dog where in the actual text of the book.
A Japa dog, they prefer to be called. Sure.
In the text of the book,
it says that this dog is known for its slanty eyes.
Oh, really?
Oh, dear.
Well, in the dog world,
it's like anything goes.
Yeah, you can just grab a ball.
Whatever you want.
Just grab some junk, just stare at it.
What are they holding
What are they
Feeling for
A hernia
When they grab balls
Yeah
At the dog shows
Oh right
They kind of do that
The ball grab
What is that
Not sure
Your dog has to be intact
Because dog shows
Are based around breeding
Oh so
They're making sure
That those are real testicles
That they're there
Oh yeah But what about nudicles There's the thing I don't know There's the thing Nudicles Yeah breeding. Oh, so... They're making sure that they're there. Oh, yeah.
But what about nudicles?
There's the thing, nudicles.
Is nudicles like the Westminster
doping?
If you're the kind of person who's into
purebred dogs and
would go and have a show,
you would want...
You're not the kind of person who would
fix your dogs. What about this?
Sitcom premise.
Okay, here we go.
It's a person who's really into dog breeds.
Their kind of dopey, hickish cousin or friend or brother comes, notices that the dog...
He's from the city.
He doesn't understand that dogs sometimes have balls.
Takes it to the vet.
Thinks that he's doing the person a favor.
They come back. The balls are gone off of the dog. The hick is from the city doing the person a favor. They come back.
The balls are gone off of the dog.
He's a hick from the city.
He's got a farm on a building
top.
It's a spinoff from the show Hick in the City.
Babe, Hick in the City.
He's got a farm
on a building
top.
He's not a hick, but he's a a farm on a building top yeah yeah
no he's kind of
he's not a hick
but he's like
he's like a dumb plumber
and he moves up
with his upscale
Connecticut
there you go
there you go
and then
yeah he thinks
he's doing
you know
he's trying to earn his keep
takes the dog
gets it neutered
it's two weeks away
from the big
Westminster dog show
yeah
neuticles
nice
right
or whatever something yeah he tapes some meatballs on there or something yeah It's two weeks away from the big Westminster dog show. Yeah, yeah. Nudicles. Nice. Right? Or whatever.
Something.
Yeah, he taped some meatballs on there or something.
Yeah, because he's kind of dumb.
What a meatball marinara.
Not going to work, Tony.
Who would be cast in this?
This is a pretty good show.
Tony Danza.
Obviously, it's a Tony Danza vehicle.
I've never heard of one.
I've never heard of one.
Danny Aiello.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he could do it.
He could knock it out of the park.
I like Tony Danza's The Plumber.
Who's the snooty David Hyde Pierce?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Or a young John Lithgow.
The grandpa from Gilmore Girls.
Any of your waspy acts.
Yeah, I really like John Lithgow and Tony Danza.
What is the show called?
Hick and the City.
Hick and the City.
From the City to Hick and the City.
Hick and the City.
Hick City.
Hick City.
It's pretty good.
Which is the opposite of what it is.
That's what's so surprising about it.
Good ideas.
Good ideas.
Here's something I wanted to bring up.
Yeah, yeah.
Is last time we hung out Ryan
Is it Brian?
It's Ryan
Okay
Yeah no B
The B is silent
It's Brian real
And you told me that you had become obsessed
With To Catch Your Predators
Oh yeah
Yeah
What was it?
Recently?
Like you were watching them on YouTube
I was watching yeah
I watched the entire series of Toing Creeps for free on YouTube.
10-minute clips.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was mildly obsessed with this cross-media and law enforcement venture into catching creeps.
Was law enforcement involved?
Yeah.
And it was ridiculous.
And it got to the point where in the 10th episode, he just let the cops go.
They had cameras on the cops,
and the cops were just pumping it down,
like, get on the ground, you scum!
Like, scum!
I know these guys are creeps, but it got way out of hand.
Because I remember when it first started,
the cops weren't even there.
Exactly.
Only the first one, there was no...
These guys just got to leave and be embarrassed
one guy was a rabbi
I remember that
oh man
the thing that's crazy
is that it went on for how many seasons
would you say
at least four
but it wasn't weekly
every now and then
I think at least 12 miniseries.
So, say, let's say after eight, there's still dudes that are showing up to the house...
I know.
...upon request, taking off all their clothes, walking into this house.
This conspicuously well-lit kitchen.
And, like, they always ask him to bring ridiculous things, like, I want two cheeseburgers, a
full pizza...
And a box of condoms.
Exactly.
Like, just, like, all right, yeah, okay.
No, she doesn't ask for the condoms.
He thinks to bring the condoms.
Which proves his intent.
And the booze.
Yeah.
Here's the one thing I heard about it was those cops are kind of like,
what's his name, Curtis Hanson?
Chris Hanson.
Chris Hanson.
Him and his assistants would put the call out to that county,
and then it was just whatever cops wanted to be a part of it would show up.
So it wasn't even cops necessarily from that area.
They could have been from eight towns over, but they were like,
Oh, I'll be on TV.
And they all got paid for their appearance on the TV show.
Wow, so they really played it up.
Yeah, so it wasn't like just, you know,
we'll call the police department
and the police will show up for this sting we're doing.
They paid these cops to come up
and they were like, when he comes out of the house,
like, run him into...
Like, bury him in that log.
Oh man, and they did.
Oh God, it's just awful.
I remember occasionally
the same person would show up twice.
Yeah.
There was one guy.
There was one guy.
They caught him.
And then the very next day, first of all, they caught him.
And they asked him to get naked and come into the house.
And he did.
So they caught him naked.
It was just super embarrassing.
And then the very next day, they caught him chatting again to a decoy.
Like, hey, want to meet up?
But he's like, this time he did it at a McDonald's.
And they caught him again.
And then they confronted him at the McDonald's.
They're like, John, what are you doing?
I remember that.
And he's all like, I was just trying to get somebody to eat.
I was just trying to get somebody to eat.
It's incredible.
And they just ream him out again.
Just totally embarrassing.
But the coup de grace, as he's walking away, they film his shoes and his shoelaces are undyed.
And you know
the producer's like, get his shoelaces, get his shoelaces.
This guy's a mental defective.
Well, he's got to take them off soon.
Someone could ask him to get naked at
any second.
That's how he lives his life. Yeah, that was pre-
Crocs.
Thank God for Crocs.
Wow, it's... Anyways, it's uh anyways it's awful it's an awful i'm not a fan of it
but i can't but you are off of it yeah yeah it's crazy to me that uh because you go on something
like uh like if you've ever been on the craigslist yeah thing there's like always things for people
to meet and i'm like that seems to be the easiest way to get mugged ever, is like, hey, yeah, show up at this apartment, or show up at this
restaurant, and then they could just, oh, that's the person who's here, and I've told
them to bring this thing and that thing, or wear this shirt so I know what they look like,
and I will just rob them, and they'll be too embarrassed because they were meeting me here
for something very untoward.
Exactly.
It's not like the, hey, let's go for a drink, but like, hey, do you want to cheat on your wife or whatever?
Well, there's an iPhone app called Grindr.
Okay, go on.
Which is for gay men.
Well, maybe women.
Gays.
Yeah.
But it's only for gays apparently
who want to just hook up
and it's got a map and it will tell you
who is the closest
person to you who wants to have sex
Jesus!
And someone had it
at my house a couple weeks ago
Oh my god!
And where's the closest?
Like 400 meters, no 400 feet
400 feet?
From where we were sitting
So in one of these surrounding houses
Are you looking at all your neighbors differently?
No I know they're all gay
It's the one that was
You crossed him on his way in
He was wearing the cross hatch leather
Yeah yeah yeah
Gay Johnny Yeah Gay Johnny He was wearing the crosshatch leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Gay Johnny.
Yeah.
Yeah, Gay Johnny.
I don't know.
So what, do you register your address or something?
Yeah, I think you go on a website and you can put pictures of yourself.
And of course, since it's an iPhone app, everyone's picture is done with the icon.
But is it like, and then you just update on a daily basis, like, yes, horny, no horny?
Yeah, boner is existent. It's like Twitter.
It's like Twitter if you're horny.
Boner.
It's four square for your boner.
For your meat?
For your boner.
Oh, I see.
For your meat.
Yeah, that's what I said.
I go, my genitals, my meat.
My meat.
My butcher area, my butcher shop.
My lumber.
My lumber yard.
Yeah.
Lumber yard and quarry.
Yeah.
Couple of rocks down there.
Doing a lot of work down at the lumber yard and quarry.
Oh, Lordy.
Dave, what's been going on with you?
Well, you remember a couple weeks ago when we recorded our last podcast.
Yes.
I was so excited to wash my car.
Oh, yeah.
You really were.
I was really excited.
Because I've never, since I've owned a car, I've never lived in a house that had a hose Right, yes
And the weather had been bad
For weeks on all the Saturdays
My car was getting dirtier and dirtier
And I didn't want to give in
You were getting angrier and angrier
I didn't want to give in and take it to a professional car wash
I wanted to do it myself
And I did
And it was pretty great.
But I was kind of expecting
more lusty looks from
ladies.
Sure.
Like, ooh, who's
this guy? Who's the new kid in town?
Likes to keep his wheels
clean.
Come on, Janine, let's go. This is her boyfriend. Hey, Johnny. likes to keep his wheels clean.
Come on, Janine, let's go.
This is her boyfriend.
Gay Johnny. Gay Johnny.
But instead,
I didn't get that. I got a few people
saying, hey, maybe you should wash mine.
Really? A couple dudes?
A couple ladies, too.
Well, that's kind of what you were looking for.
Maybe it was.
Hey, you should
wash my car? That's basically
like... That's like your boner act.
Or they would just point to their car and say,
do my next
faggot.
Hey, how long does that hose extend?
But, uh,
is there
anything sexy about a man
washing a car?
Maybe a different man.
Depending.
I don't know.
I've always thought, like, I always think of that scene.
I think it was in Dodgeball.
Is that the name of that movie?
Where they're like, we'll throw a bathing suit, car wash, and then it's all the dudes from the Dodgeball team.
That's always what I think of.
Like, I don't think guys...
I always thought the realm of sexy car wash
was the woman's.
That was woman's work.
I don't know if generally women find men wet.
Doing labor.
Do they want men to get wet?
Men seem to want to get women wet.
Soaking wet.
That's a great idea.
I don't know if that's the opposite.
The reason I was thinking about this is there's a show.
One of the channels, I think it's 89, is Hello Latino.
Okay.
And it's both.
It's like all Latin languages.
So it's Italian, Spanish, and maybe Portuguese.
But there's a part like every Friday and Saturday night, it's porno town.
Oh, nice.
So there's a show on every night, every Friday and Saturday called Latin Lover 2, which is just Spanish people fighting and then having sex.
But it's followed by an Italian
show called Sexy Car Wash.
And is it what it
promises? Well, no, it's a game show.
It's a game show. Both
contestants are inside cars
and when
they win, women
in sexy clothes wash their cars
while they're inside it. That sounds pretty good.
Really? Yeah.
They just sit inside it. That's pretty good. Really? Yeah. They just sit inside it.
That's all the show is.
Wow.
Wow.
Did anyone ever beep the horn?
Probably.
You can't tell with the music blaring.
Oh, wow.
Speaking of game shows,
did you hear that Steve Harvey is going to be the new host of Family Feud?
Finally.
Yeah.
Post-Obama America.
Am I right, guys?
All right.
Post-racial.
What hosts have been the hosts in our lifetime?
Louis Anderson.
Ray Coombs.
Ray Coombs.
What's his name from Home Improvement?
Richard Karn.
Karn.
Al.
Al Borland.
The Jay Peterman guy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He was the most recent guy.
Most recent.
And the original guy.
The original guy.
I don't remember.
He was the guy. I don't either. And the original guy. The original, who I don't remember. He was the guy.
I don't either.
But I know he would kiss people.
Yeah, he would kiss all the ladies.
Bruce Coburn.
Yeah, sure.
It was a dangerous time.
I can't remember his name.
I knew it, and now I can't remember it.
Pierre Elliott Trudeau.
That's true.
A young Pierre Elliott Trudeau.
Famous for his carnation.
Is it carnation?
Yes.
But yeah, it's just a related note.
I thought I'd throw it there.
I saw that on Peachtree TV.
Steve Harvey's the new host.
Thank God for Steve.
Yeah.
He's a suit designer as well.
Oh, for five-button suits?
Five-button, brightly colored suits.
Zoots?
They're almost zoots.
They're almost zoots.
On a lesser man, that would be a zoot.
Sure.
You've got to have bigger shoulders, I think.
Yeah.
Steve Harvey.
What was the name of the show he was on?
The Steve Harvey Show?
That's right.
I think you're...
The one where he's the music teacher?
Yeah, Cedric the Entertainer was his PE teacher friend.
And he really liked the single principal.
Was it a kid's show?
No, it was a sitcom.
It was a sitcom.
And he had like these three students, a white guy named Bullethead.
Bullethead.
And a black guy named Romeo, who sadly was recently killed with a bullet in the head.
Who sadly was recently killed With a bullet in the head
I'm sorry
It's not true
I'm sorry
It's true
We'll miss you
I'm so sorry
But that was the show
It was a sitcom
And they all had their trials and tribulations
And dates
It was
He was an ex-jazz musician.
Actually, I'm glad we're talking about this, because I'd like to talk about Tyler Perry's House of Pain in a second.
Okay, sure.
We can start right...
Well, Cedric the Entertainer, now he's a more famous guy than Steve Harvey.
I would say so.
But they're both on that...
And they're both the original Kings of Comedy.
Kings of Comedy.
It was Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer.
Bernie Mac.
Bernie Mac.
And the young guy who was on.
Was it D.L. Hughley?
Or was it.
What was the sitcom?
John Mulaney.
There was a sitcom.
That's funny.
Where they were.
They just moved into.
The four of them were? oh, oh no, sorry.
It was a, it was a black family that had moved into a predominantly white neighborhood and the guy putty from Seinfeld was on it.
Hick City?
I want to say it was called the Hughleys.
Oh, yeah.
The Hughleys.
It was the Hughleys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
D.L. Hughley.
D.L. Hughley.
That's it.
Okay.
What was the one, what was the animated, uh, black family or claymation?
Oh, uh, the PJs. PJs. PJ What was the animated Black Family? Or Claymation? Oh, the PJs.
PJs, okay.
Eddie Murphy.
Was Eddie Murphy involved?
He was the voice.
He was the voice.
Okay.
He did a lot of the voices.
He was the voice of a generation.
And a donkey.
I just, the other night,
oh, sorry, it was last weekend.
I was watching TV,
and I've only ever watched four or five minutes
of Coming to America.
Yeah, great film. And so I watched.
I love that movie.
When was the last time you saw it?
Oh, I think I would be 11 years old and I refuse to rewatch.
I watched it about eight years ago, I will say.
Yeah.
I watched it with somebody who saw it when they were 11 or 10 years old and thought it was so funny.
It is painfully unfunny.
It is so hard to watch.
No, you're wrong about that.
Because here's the thing.
Eddie Murphy,
that was just the beginning of the Klumps era
he was moving into.
It was before that.
But it was him playing all those different characters.
Right.
Well, there's that one part.
But, no, there's many parts.
That's the thing.
No, they're all fat at the dinner table.
At the dinner table.
Janet Jackson's there.
But Arsenio Hall can't do that.
And yet he does the same thing in the movie.
He plays numerous characters.
All of them sound like Arsenio Hall.
It's true.
It's awful.
I don't remember that being throughout.
Neither did I until I watched it.
Every scene is set up around them in their regular kind of face,
watching them in crazy putty makeup doing something.
That's literally the entire film, which I didn't realize.
Because America is so crazy.
Yeah, so it's them. Oh, because America is so crazy. Yeah.
So it's them, like, they go to the barbershop.
They go to some, you know, church thing.
They go just on the streets in the ghetto.
Everybody around them is played by Arsenio Hall and Eddie Murphy.
They're like, what a crazy country.
Well, yes, through those eyes.
It certainly would be.
Oh, man.
How did we get off on that?
Black entertainment.
That's right.
Oh, you wanted to talk about House of Pain.
We don't have to dwell on it.
It's just awful.
Is it any relation to major pain?
No.
No, in the sense that it's not funny, maybe. But
it's, you know, it's just one of those
sitcoms that has nothing
going for it.
You really did want to talk about it.
Bubbling with enthusiasm.
I heard, and I think I want
to say that I heard this on
one of our
Maximum Fun sister
casts, the Jordan and Jesse Go.
Jordan, Jesse Go, sorry, not
and. Where
Jordan or Jesse
explained that Tyler Perry's
House of Pain, that Tyler Perry figured out
that you hit syndication
after 100 episodes.
And that's when you can sell your
show as a package to affiliates all over America, and that's when you can sell your show as a package to affiliates all over
america and that's when you can really cash in he shot 100 episodes in a year so that he could
like usually you would just shoot 20 episodes a year over five years or however many but he was
like i'll just shoot them all in a year and then I'll be a millionaire.
Which he did and he is now a millionaire.
That's why, because they all sound
they must be improvised
because the dialogue is just so
awful. They're talking over each other
they're sort of like mugging and looking around
it just seems like
they all got together, just some actors
in a room, decided what the scene was about
and said go.
And that's interesting to me but
now that I hear that he did it
in 100 and that's why. Yeah.
It's actually pretty... It's brilliant.
The scheme. It's funny because they showed him
on
I think it was Oprah when he was
up for the... because he was one of the producers
that made Precious based on
the novel Push by Sapphire.
And his office,
the front waiting room, has a huge
waterfall in it,
which is one of those things like Steve Martin
and the Jerk, like you get money and then you're like,
I've always wanted a waterfall in my
book.
Waterslide to work.
From my bedroom to my office.
To the kitchen, down to the basement.
You can stop and keep going.
The flip gate.
I want a pizza machine that shoots pizza into my mouth.
Speaking of people knowing their lines and stuff,
how good was Betty White on SNL?
She was great.
Great monologue.
I haven't watched the rest of the...
I've watched the first half hour.
Pretty funny.
I thought she was funny.
I thought she was very funny.
I liked her a lot.
And how great was that Jay-Z medley?
So good.
Wow.
Pick a song, Jay-Z.
You don't have to.
Just run the catalog.
He's got too many, Dave.
Yeah, that's true.
But he...
Yeah, it was good. And she memorized all of her bits which oh yeah that's true that's that's really frustrating when robert
de niro is on there reading cue cards de niro reading cue cards when is it do you think that
they memorize it and then the last second they panic i think so and then they just start reading
no no i think i think there's changes up to the last second.
Oh, really?
So they tell people, keep an eye on the cue cards.
Yeah.
Wow.
Because, did you ever watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip?
Yes.
A five-minute clip.
I watched...
After To Catch a Predator.
Between.
A little palate cleanser.
Well, I made some popcorn.
This To Catch a Predator clip is brought to you by Studio 6.
You'd have to sit through the same five minutes.
To Catch a Predator.
But they, he, it was based on that kind of a show.
Right.
Because I remember that and 30 Rock came out the same year.
And they were both these new shows based on Saturday Night Live kind of.
Weren't they on the same network too?
But one was really took itself way too seriously
and was ridiculously wanky
yeah
Matthew Perry
was the
the
like genius
yeah
writer
who wrote
every sketch
every week
yeah
what was
what was his big sketch
that they like
wanted to ban
or whatever
oh I forget
something about Christians
or something like that
oh it was those crazy Christians.
Yeah, he was like the famous...
Yeah.
That's the thing they always never seem to be able to get right.
Something you see on like Omnichannel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Those crazy Christians.
They always do in like a Law & Order or a show like that,
whenever there's a comedy show or a comedian thing,
they're always off by, you know, just...
It's the same when they try to do pop music, too.
Yeah, no, that's true.
That's true.
Or social networking sites.
Yeah, can you look it up on...
Yeah.
And then it's like some connotation of Facebook and YouTube.
Exactly. On their face Facebook and YouTube. Exactly.
On your face.
Yourface.com.
That makes me think of when I bought this Nintendo Power cheat book when I was young,
and the cover art was done by someone with a vague understanding of what video games were.
It was all this stuff like, yeah, dragon riding a cloud that's on fire.
You've never seen any of these from any of the games you've played.
It's just like some 40-year-old
like, this is one of the video games. Kids like
this are jumping around on a crazy...
Well, all the Atari
video games had these elaborate
covers
for the boxes.
And then you had to play the game
that's one color.
But yeah, I can't remember.
There was some show... law and order well i've seen
definitely law and orders where they've had comedians and then they show like the comedian
on stage and they're just like yelling something and then it cuts the audience they're all laughing
i'm like that just never would happen in any comedy club. They're laughing like hard. Yeah, and then they're like, Jake was the rawest
comic there was. And you're just like,
no, but he would never think that was funny.
Except for the brief period where people thought
Sam Kinison was great,
because he would just be like, bah!
Which I guess is what these writers are referencing
in their head, like, yeah, this guy's
like a Sam Kinison guy.
Because that's all he did, was just scream
and stuff, right?
You know what else Weather Show misses the boat
on representing real life?
Matlock.
It's like,
everything on that show's just
skewed. Yeah, it's like
everything from the 80s and early
90s. Exactly.
Not like the gritty realism they have today with trauma and McDreamy, whatever that show's called.
What is that show called?
Scrubs.
Which is still on TV.
I've never seen him one episode of that.
You should.
You'd love it.
Ryan, it's right up your alley.
It's got a dragon on a fire cloud. I love that. You should. You'd love it. Yeah. Ryan, it's right up your alley. It's got a dragon on a
fire cloud.
I love that.
I like it when people
recommend TV shows.
I mean, I watch TV every
day.
Yeah.
I've avoided Modern
Family and Will and
Grace.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Although, speaking TV,
I've now passed through
season three of my quest
to watch all the seasons of The Wire. Okay. Oh, nice. End of season three. I wish you well. Which one through season three of my quest to watch all the seasons of The Wire.
Okay.
Nice.
End of season three.
I wish you well.
Which one's season three?
Season three is City Hall.
Okay.
Politics.
Yes.
Yeah.
And the discs that I was watching them on kept skipping out on things, so I'd have to
fill in the blanks using YouTube, uh when you like i'd have to
go like well i don't know what happened at the end of that episode but it must have been something
major so then i would just type in the episode and it would always have that clip uh but season
three wow oh it's amazing every every bit of that show is a masterpiece i love the wire yeah it's
fantastic okay season four just starting well okay spoiler alert if you haven't seen the wire zip forward uh 30
seconds a minute okay uh but what happened was the thing that skipped on the disc i was watching
is stringer bell goes to the construction site to go confront this guy on all the cost overruns
and then the fucking cd just said skips sk over, and then it goes to the credits.
And I was like, well, I don't know, but I have a feeling something happened there, because there was a lead-up to something.
So then I jumped ahead to the previously on, from the next episode, and it shows Stringer Bell getting killed. So he's like one of the main characters.
Is that only season three?
Yeah, season three.
He gets shot at the very end of season three by Omar and, yeah, with the main characters. Is that only season three? Yeah, season three. He gets shot at the very end of season three
by Omar and
with the bow tie.
Peewee Herman. Brother Muzan.
Brother Muzan.
Peewee Herman.
But that was exactly
the moment where it skipped, just as he
walks in the door and then...
I sure hope people fast forward
two minutes. Yeah, well, you know what?
I said spoiler alert.
I did all the parts that I...
Yeah, they're grown-ups.
Yeah, if you haven't seen it by now, you're Graham.
Yeah, exactly.
You're trying to muddle through.
You're luggage.
You're luggage.
You're luggage.
Do we want to move on, or do you want to do that?
Oh, we can do that after.
Okay.
Or do you want to do it now?
Whatever.
It's your thing.
Oh, it's not my thing. It's Or do you want to do it now? Whatever. It's your thing. Oh, it's not my thing.
It's our thing.
Okay.
We'll be right back.
Okay.
All right.
So, as previously mentioned on the last podcast, there is a special time of year.
Yeah.
Only comes around once a year.
A special time in a girl's life.
Yeah.
Well, these are both true things that are happening right now.
But from now up until May 28th is a little thing called Maximum Fun Drive, which I don't think I just made up.
That's a real thing.
Yeah.
It's happening.
And what it is is MaximumFun.org, which has been...
They are our benefactors.
Yeah.
And they've been putting out great podcasts for, I think, I want to say 10 years.
Yeah, this is the 10th anniversary of them.
Which is great.
And we are...
The traditional 10th anniversary gift is Canadian podcast.
Is a Canadian podcast.
Yeah.
Which they gave to...
You, the listener.
Yeah.
So now we're linked up with them.
And, you know, over the time that we've done this podcast, people have asked, how can I donate to the show?
And we didn't really have any kind of way to do that or understanding of that.
Jesse Thorne does.
Yeah.
The Maximum Fun organization does.
So what they're doing is between now and May 28th, you can go on their website, MaximumFun.org
slash donate.
And there will be a page
where you can donate.
You can sign up
as a monthly subscriber.
Yeah, that's the best way to do it
because that way you get prizes.
Yeah, and why don't you run down
what the prizes are?
Well, uh...
Per donation, Dave.
Okay.
Well, you can give $5 a month,
$10 a month,
or $20 or more a month. What do I get if I donate $5 a month? Well, you can give $5 a month, $10 a month, or $20 or more a month.
What do I get if I donate $5 a month?
Well, you get the Maximum Fun DVD.
Woo! What about $10?
What if I'm a Richie Richbags?
I don't know what's on the Maximum Fun DVD.
Porn. Go on.
Okay, porno. Maximum taint.
Is it porn or porno?
Depends on if you have any class.
If you're classy, it's porno.
Porno.
E-A-U-X.
Yeah.
Ex-ante-gu.
Sorry.
$10 a month, you get the porno.
That's not a porno.
And a t-shirt of your choosing.
Yes.
The day we're recording this is the day of public voting on the t-shirts.
Yeah. So we don't actually know what t-shirt you will be getting, but you'll be getting probably...
Yeah, you can get a Sound of Young America t-shirt, you can get a Jordan Jesse Go t-shirt, or a Stop Podcasting Yourself t-shirt.
Yeah, which people have also been requesting for a long time, and we also didn't know how to do that.
We're a couple of rubes.
Yeah.
So that's 10. What about 20?
20 and up, you get
the previous two things.
The porno.
The porno t-shirt.
And a special
gift. And also,
what's neat is if you're
somebody who likes to go on the...
It's a mystery gift. A bag of
tar. I think there's stuff listed.
We really should have read up on the upper echelon.
Oh, yeah.
But here's a great little...
I think it's a neat little bonus.
If you donate and you're somebody who regularly goes on the forum at Maximum Fun,
if you donate, you get a little ticker next to your...
A little signature that says that you're a donor. You get a little rocket ship next to your little signature that says that you're a donor.
You get a little rocket ship next to your name.
Yeah, it separates you from the pack.
That's a free gift.
But here's the thing.
My thing has always been, in this past year, just a couple of weeks ago, I spent $20-odd to go see the movie Oceans.
And it was shit.
And that's 20 bucks.
I didn't enjoy.
I didn't get anything out of it.
But when I think about how many hours I've listened to Maximum Fun, 20 bucks is a drop in the ocean for how much entertainment I've had.
So it's one of those things where you're like, I don't know how much to donate.
It's up to you.
You don't have to donate at all.
I mean, that's the thing is they're trying to do this to keep it free.
Yeah.
And that's what's so great about it.
The whole thing's free.
The catalog, the entire catalog is up forever.
Yeah.
For free.
Yeah, for free.
Why don't you give back?
If you enjoy it, if you enjoy what we do more than a movie, then think about how much that would be worth to you per month to donate to them.
Because they want to keep us going.
We want to keep this thing going.
Can you watch a movie while you're on the bus?
Nope.
Can you watch a movie while you do your graphic design job, which half of our audience seems to do?
Well, no.
I can't.
My boss frowns upon can you watch a movie
while oh what else do people masturbate no nobody listens to the podcast graham what nobody listens
to the podcast while they do that with that thing that i will not even repeat that thing you do no
i like that movie so anyways It's a really
It's a really
Neat thing
Because I've never been
A part of a thing
That has any kind of
Donation
Mechanism involved
And I'm excited
That this is the first
Time to be involved
In a fun drive
They should make
That thing you do
Porno
Yeah
Where it's about
You masturbating
Yeah
And Tom Hanks watches
Yeah
And it's like
You got talent.
Since you're on tour.
But yeah, if you're interested in donating, please do.
And it's like anything you can donate, whatever you feel it's worth, it's completely up to you.
Dave explained what the prizes are.
But go to MaximumFun.org slash donate and make good
on things. Yeah. Thanks
everybody. Yeah, thanks.
Do you want to do
some Overherds? Sure. Ryan, would
you join us again? Come back.
Overherds.
Overherds. The longest
running segment in North
American history. Yeah.
Longer than whatever other segment you're thinking.
Any segment.
Overheards.
Things that you overhear, oversee, overread, which isn't really a thing, but come on.
Overwrought.
Yeah.
Overdone.
Whoa.
Overpass.
Overkillpass Overkill
Yeah, thanks
And we like to start in a
Clockwise?
Clockwise procession
Not starting with me, starting with the guest
In the realm of overheards
And then of course we've got listener overheards
So let him go
Ryan, would you like to start us?
Yeah, I only have one And it does and the man did have a bit of an accent, I think, was British,
and it is gardening season.
Is that man here with us?
Can we speak to him?
Let the record show, I'm pointing at Matlock.
No, and I was walking in the nice summer air, and I overheard a gentleman say this to another gentleman.
I don't know what he said.
And she was holding the branch of a Roto that would never grow again.
Roto.
Matlock.
Drama king.
That would be a Rotodendron.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
It would never grow again. From whence it came. Or a rhododendron. Yes, exactly. Yeah. It would never grow
again. From whence it came.
Or a rhodorooter. The hardest plant to grow.
Or a rhodorooter.
Is it really the hardest plant
to grow? No, I don't know. I think a bonsai.
It is the cruelest one. If Karate Kid 2
taught me anything. It requires
a lot of restraint. Bonsai.
Car waxing. Yeah, because you just
want to shout at that little tree.
You want to get on one foot
and kick it with your other foot.
And date the girl who lives across the road.
Anyways.
Etc. Dave?
This past weekend
I went to Seattle.
And this isn't...
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs.
Yeah, the blues are calling.
Let me cut you off right there.
I overheard this.
Frasier.
Yeah.
And I don't know what to do
with those toss salad and scrambled eggs.
So that's mine.
Going again.
Thank you, Seattle!
Okay, I was...
The place I was staying was right between the two huge stadiums.
It was...
There's the baseball stadium.
Safeco Field.
Safeco Field and the football stadium, Quest Field.
And there's...
In between the two of them, there's like a theater.
Right.
Where rock acts will play.
You're U2.
You're in excesses.
Rock bands from 1989 will play.
A Def Leppard?
Maybe.
They're the hardest band to grow.
leopard maybe all right they're the hardest band to grow and on them on the marquee what was uh a sign for the next night uh which featured daughtry okay oh yeah from american idol yep
the bald one and uh and lifehouse which i believe are maybe Christian Rock. Could be.
Lifehouse.
Okay.
Yeah.
And there were a couple.
There were tons of people going to the baseball game.
I was just down there to get a hot dog.
But there was a couple, and they were in their late 30s.
And the guy pointed out, hey, Daughtry's here with Lifehouse.
And his wife went, damn!
And they went on to
talk about how they didn't think they'd be
able to get a sitter two nights in a row
having
gone to the baseball game that night.
Yeah, look, we picked baseball.
It was baseball or Daughtry.
Well, had I known that Daughtry was on the table.
Was on the bill.
Certainly didn't know Lifehouse was going to be involved.
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's performance is the part of Daughtry.
It was won by the understudy.
Bruce Will and Tony Danza.
Lifehouse.
Mine comes courtesy of a bit of signage as well um you were talking about uh participating in
something called dine was it called dine in vancouver dine out vancouver dine out vancouver
dine in vancouver let's just stay home and warm something up um dine in already vancouver
this is a a kind of a similar uh type thing. It's a convention called Eat Vancouver.
Okay.
And there was a big billboard by my house that advertised kind of the celebrity contingent that was going to be at Eat Vancouver.
The first person was Rob Feeney.
Okay.
Local chef.
Local chef.
Was he on Iron Chef or something?
He maybe won Iron Chef America.
Yeah.
So he's got some kind of cred
And then there's a guy called Chuck Hughes
From a Food Network show called Chuck's Day Off
Isn't he in the White Spot ads?
Is he the bald guy?
No, he's a...
No, that's...
Okay, go ahead
And then the third person is Larry Thomas
You guys may know him as the guy who portrayed the Soup Nazi on Psycho.
Oh, no!
No!
That's bad.
He's got some cred.
I think you can find him on HollywoodIsCalling.com.
Yeah, and he goes, no birthday for you.
But he can never say no soup for you.
That's copyright.
But they know he's not a real chef, right?
Like that he's just an actor who played a guy who's a chef?
Yeah, there was a news story with him in town a couple years ago,
and he was doing some benefit in character.
He does the whole benefit like that.
I don't even think he has a mustache anymore.
The character had a mustache.
Yeah, definitely.
Stalin-esque.
Yeah, I don't think he has it anymore.
But he...
He's still the guy.
It's good enough.
Yeah, I wonder if he hates having a mustache,
but it's his only moneymaker.
So do you think he has a fake one that he puts on
for events,
like a press-on?
I would, but I wonder if he would keep the mustache
just because rents do at the end of the month.
Yeah.
But they bring him in for a fundraiser
that's against baby illnesses,
and it's called No Croup for You,
and he's just got to be like,
it's Larry Thomas who's kind of affiliated with... just got to be like it's larry thomas
who's kind of affiliated with baby elvis's illnesses okay yeah with baby elvis's yeah
don't bring up baby elvis's him in the room and what does that have to do with croup
he's been fighting for their rights for ages i just sorry that no group for you got lost in the shovel
And then, as is our tradition here in our little village
We like to read overheards sent in by listeners to our email account
That's adorable
Isn't it though?
This first one comes to us
What's our email account?
Oh, sorry, it's stoppodcastingYourself at gmail.com.
And this first one comes to us courtesy of Tyra from California.
Ooh.
I was watching over my boyfriend's younger cousins, boy 10 and girl 7,
while their parents had a night out on the town.
The boy cousin kept annoying his sister by putting his face extremely close to hers and staring
her down as if to say, I'm not touching you
so you can't do anything to me. Classic
kids. Totally within the rules.
Yeah, right?
I wonder if kids are just born
with that knowledge of
how to do that, because I don't recall learning it.
No. Well, yeah, it's a loophole.
After 30 seconds of this she told him your breath makes
me cough which uh is a pretty she says uh my boyfriend and i don't tell each other your breath
makes me cough when we think the other needs a mint wow it's not bad right they've turned a into a positive. Or something. Something. Or yeah, something.
Definitely something.
Guys, it's something.
That was everything.
Well, it wasn't nothing.
We can agree on that.
This second one comes from Kevin K.
Kevin K.
In a Borders bookstore,
a cute couple was contemplating kids' names
whilst perusing books.
Girl, how about Dolph? Boy, Dolph? Girl, yeah kids' names whilst perusing books. Girl, how about
Dolph? Boy, Dolph?
Girl, yeah, it's short for Adolf.
How about Sleany?
Sleany?
Short for Mussolini?
Sleany?
I'm pretty sure that's not his first name.
Mussolini Smith.
Mussolini Mussolini.
It's like Galileo Galilei.
Putros Gali.
We get it, we get it.
Is Dolph short for Adolf?
Yeah, because I was thinking Dolph Lundgren.
Is there a chance?
Must be.
It could be short for Dolphin. Dolph Lundgren. Is there a chance? Must be. It could be short for Dolphin.
Dolphin Lundgren.
Dolphin.
Totally great.
Sorry, I'm just trying to find the third one here.
That's fine.
Take your time, honey.
I love overheards.
Thanks.
I was told a funny overheard once, but it wasn't from recently.
Fine.
But a producer from one of the commercials I did told me this, and he was in the southern United States, or a friend of his, or maybe.
I'm not taking credit for this, but it's a funny story.
It was a lineup for a Kentucky Fried Chicken in the southern states, and a woman ordered a 24-piece bucket.
And the guy said, okay, yeah, would you like that for here to go?
And the woman said, just kind of laughed and went, what do you mean?
I gave you a 24-piece bucket all to myself.
Of course I'm going to take it home.
And then the guy behind the counter said, bitch, I don't know your life.
Gets right to the point.
It's part of the matter, don't you think?
No, it sounds fake.
No, I think it was for real.
We've had it on this very show before.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
And it was fake then.
Wow.
Because people wrote in and were like, that's fake.
Wow.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm sorry.
No, it's all right.
No, it's fine.
We'll edit that out.
Yeah, cut that out.
He said it was his.
Yeah.
Don't fight.
It never happened.
Oh, wow, guys.
Have you ever had somebody tell an urban legend thing to your face as if it happened to them?
Well, there was my friend who was in Mexico and found a cute little dog on the street.
Turned out it was a rat.
Oh, yeah.
Did that happen to your friend?
Yeah.
And then he ate a poinsettia and died.
Yeah.
And then the rat went on to be
cooked in a bucket of kentucky fried chicken what about you uh i actually had somebody claim that uh
that their uh their boss's wife was involved in that urban legend about the famous in this story
it was bill Cosby,
but it's a famous black entertainer in the elevator.
Have you ever heard that one?
No.
Where it's an old lady, old white lady,
gets on an elevator.
By black entertainer, you mean Richard Gere,
and elevator, you mean the mouse in his butt.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
No, the old lady gets on,
and then the black man in the elevator says,
hit the floor, and she jumps down the floor because she thinks she's being mugged.
But it turns out she leaves the hotel the next morning
and there's a big bouquet of flowers for her.
And it says, thanks for the biggest laugh I've had in years.
XO, XO, Michael Jordan, or Bill Cosby, or any other.
Or Cedric the Entertainer.
Or Cedric the Entertainer.
Or Bullethead. He was white, though. Yeah, that's right. He was white. jordan or bill cosby or cedric the entertainer cedric the entertainer or bullet head he was
white though yeah that's right he's white and that's he's alive he was the one who was scared
god he's and he's the only one um this one comes from eric l and it's a it's an overseen it's a
photo of a a poster that he saw at the place where his band practices,
and it says,
Wanted, Bono the Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. for U2 Tribute Band.
So that leaves the bass player?
They got one guy.
But he's spot on.
Does anybody want to guess what the tribute band is called?
Oh, he's already named it?
Yeah, it's already named But wouldn't you wait for the other three members?
Is it called Us As Well?
Nope
Is it called The Unforgettable Fires?
These are both, those are really good
Okay, is it called The Zoropas?
Yeah, they still haven't found what I've been looking for
The streets with no names.
That's the tribute band you always have to pick a song, right?
Not these guys.
These guys didn't go that route.
Or unless you're Nearly Neil.
Yeah, or if you're Minikiss.
Sure.
Who are they?
What's the band name?
U2.0.
No.
2.0.
No.
Wow. Yeah, there's the
poster.
It's pretty professional.
I thought it would be way shittier than that.
But they really, yeah, they have
the bass. I play bass, and I do
poster design, and I
name bands.
Also, Edge must bring on Toot.
I wonder if anyone's
ever
started a tribute band
who wasn't even interested in music
just found out, hey, I look like
that guy. I should learn the bass.
Yeah, there was a guy like that
on, you know those shows where they'll
do a theme show where it's all, I look
like so-and-so.
And one of the people, I think it might be the one that does the Shania Twain, Shania Twin.
I don't think she was a singer.
I think that she looked enough like Shania Twain to be a tribute act to her.
When I was in Las Vegas, I stayed at a hotel, the Imperial Palace, which was a mishmash of themes.
But it looks like a Chinese.
It looks Chinese.
Yeah, I stayed there as well.
It's all Chinese themed.
The other theme is smelling like cigarette smoke.
Yeah.
And the third theme.
But that's like China.
China smells like cigarette smoke.
Yeah, sort of.
They don't really have laws over there.
And the third theme is that they have dealers who are entertainers.
And their entertainment is that they are celebrity lookalikes.
No.
So there was a Whitney Houston, there was a Shania Twain, a Dolly Parton,
and they would have to stop dealing cards for like five minutes to occasionally get up and sing a song.
Wow.
Chinese.
So I wonder if...
That really sums up what the Chinese are doing in the world right now.
I wonder which came first in that crazy
triforce of job description.
Like, did they look like them first?
Were they a singer first?
Or were they like, okay, we'll make you Dolly Parton
and you Raffy.
You Raffy?
Well, he can't be anything else.
You got a better idea?
You know,
for the guy who looks like Raffy.
You got a better idea?
He's like, what if I put on these glasses?
I could be late era Ringo.
Yeah, sure.
He could be 70s Elton John.
Actually, I just hosted Talent Time, or co-host Talent Time, and there was a Beatles tribute
band called the Fab Forever.
And they did a good couple sets.
Yeah, one of, I think I mentioned on the podcast ages ago, a gentleman that we all know, Aubrey Tennant.
That was it.
That was that band.
Yeah.
Oh, that was their band.
That was the Fat Forever.
Yeah, his brother played in that.
They were great.
They put on the costume.
They were the best Beatle tribute band.
They went through all the eras.
Oh, wow.
They did the mop tops, and they did the longer hairs, and then they did the almost broken up.
Okay.
Yeah.
The facial hairs.
And then one of them left early
and then they did the anthology reunion
where it was just the three of them.
One guy pre-recorded it.
Sorry.
Sorry.
They don't sing, they just talk about old times.
And wear weird vests.
We also have... Weird vests And wear weird vests. We also have...
Weird vests.
Really weird vests.
We have a collection
of overheards
from our listeners
who have telephones.
Yes.
If you want to call us,
please don't hesitate
and call us at...
Oh, my God.
206-339-8328.
Thank you.
U2 cover band.
So good. U2.0 you U2 cover band So good
U2.0
U2.0
That's amazing
That is pretty good
All I want to do is come up with names of cover bands
Yeah
Okay
Well let's do that after this round of overwintering
Okay
That's really great
Let's do rapid fire
Rapid fire
Oh yeah let's do rapid fire
That's really good
Like different bands
Okay so we go in We'll go one in a round
Or maybe just like a brainstorming session
We'll move on from band to band
This is great
It's going to be great
Load them up
Hello Grammys, this is Todd the Pokebumper
As I mentioned before
I work going door to door
And the other day I was working And these two kids who just got out of school were walking behind me when suddenly I heard one of them shout,
I'll fucking sell you my pudding.
That's a young Donald Trump making his first business transfer.
That's what I'll do.
I'm sure it started with, can I have some pudding?
I'll fucking sell you my pudding.
You're not going to eat it.
You think it escalated right from, can I have some pudding?
Maybe the first kid was like, I'm just going to throw away this pudding.
Pretty great.
All right.
Next.
Cashforpudding.com.
Hey, guys.
It's RJ from Tacoma, Washington.
I've got an overseen for you. There's a
bright yellow Dodge right in front of me
and the license plate
frame says, on the top it says
alumni, and then on the
bottom it says
what's the matter with you?
Ha ha ha!
I shouldn't laugh at that
that's such an old joke
because that's from
Rocky and Bullwinkle
that's where Bullwinkle graduates
what's a matter of you
shut up your face
give me a PhD and shut up your face
and minoring in enough already.
Bada bing.
Oh, wow.
That's really great.
That was one of those, like a license plate frame.
Yeah.
Nice.
I need to get a new license plate frame.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
I don't like my current one just advertises where I bought my car.
They don't need the free advertising.
I'm a hot commodity.
Do they still sell those things?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
We saw on the drive back from Seattle last weekend, we saw a great one.
It was just silver snakes all around.
Oh, I like that.
I like it.
Ryan Beal, you have a car?
Is that right?
Well, sometimes I borrow.
My family has a truck.
Nice.
And I borrow and drive that around.
I don't think you're allowed to just put a license
plate frame on a family truck.
Oh, that'd be cool with that.
They get you.
Absolutely.
With my posters
and my frames.
Sure.
And your YouTube cover band.
YouTube.0.
Get out of here.
That's awesome.
Hi, Dave and Graham.
This is Sally calling from Vancouver.
I just waited in line for about 10 or 15 minutes behind a guy in a grocery store
who was buying Kittens USA magazine and nothing else.
And just so you know, Kittens USA is a $10 magazine.
Kittens USA.
Yeah, that's how you spot a
potential future boyfriend
who's got money to burn.
Or someone who's going to be up to catch a kitten predator.
I've got all the latest issues.
Or, like, my kitten's
being featured in this.
I want to prove it to all my friends.
I'd buy like five copies
I'd be out 50 bucks
showing people my kittens USA
worth it
yeah of course you've got a great kitten
in the kitten circles
or maybe you finally got an article in
your review of that tabby kitten
down the road
down the road
now I know you've heard about my neighbor's cat.
This kitten knows what he's doing.
Sometimes you see a magazine
and you pick it up
and it is like $10.
Yeah, or more.
It's not a monthly magazine usually.
It's like a yearly guide to gadgets.
Miley Cyrus.
But those thick Cosmopolitans get up to close to $10, don't they?
Aren't they pretty pricey?
But they're so thick because of the advertising.
Oh, the advertising.
Yes, yes, yes.
Magazines, it seems to me, should be free now.
It seems to me.
Because of all the commercial.
It seems to me that I live my life like a candle in the wind.
It seems to me.
But, you know, magazines, I buy a ton of them.
Me too.
But I read them once and I throw them away.
No, I don't.
I keep them.
Yeah, me too.
In case I need that stew recipe from GQ.
Or if you're collaging.
Sure.
You know, if you're collaging.
Making a dream board or a vision board. Yeah, You know, if you're collaging. Making a dream board.
Or a vision board.
Yeah, yeah.
A mood board.
Is that what Lady Gaga does?
Are they called mood boards?
That was... Vision boards?
I went to this thing last year called Creative Mix.
And it was these people...
Isn't that Vancouver's new comedy club?
It was this conference for creative people
to talk about creativity
and someone went on about mood boards
and it was just colors
colors on a board
figuring out
Is that like when you glue tissue paper
to something to make stingrays?
I think so, yeah
I love that Do you do that right, too? Just to calm myself down tissue paper to something to make stained glass? I think so, yeah. It's a lot like that.
I love that.
Do you do that right, too?
Just to calm myself down.
And during Christmas season.
That's the best cards.
Oh, lordy.
Now, we were talking in between...
Oh, sorry. For the overheards, again,
the email address is
stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com.
Thank you to everybody who sent them in.
Those are great.
We read them all every week.
We've got a limit of three per each, per type.
And then, yeah, if you want to call us, it's 206-339-8328.
But in between the overheards we were talking about how great it was trying to come up
with cover band names
oh no we played that
that made it a show
oh I'm sorry I thought it was cut out
but good so I don't have to explain
so how do we want to do this
somebody just says the name of a band
sure
Genesis
okay Genesis leviticus
obviously leviticus or exodus or something like uh uh the i can't answer yeah i was gonna say that
uh oh yeah invisible touches we will save your life tonight no wait that's just phil collins
on his own i think that's uh elton john. Oh, wasn't Somebody Saved My Life Tonight, wasn't that somehow
connected to... I don't know. I believe
that's Elton John. Genesis? Sugar Bear?
Is it Sugar Bear?
Okay. Well, that's a dead end.
Yeah, we exhausted Genesis.
Oh, no! This is Rathafat.
I think that might be Phil Collins solo.
This was a garbage one to start with.
Okay, Dave, you shoot one out there.
Oh, oh, oh.
Okay, Aerosmith.
Okay.
Nice.
Aerosmith.
The Amazings.
The Crazies.
The Crazies.
The toys in the attic.
That's not bad.
That's not bad.
Oh, man.
What do you got there, Black?
All I can think of is an Aerosmith.
Oh, the man making an Aerosmith.
Or an arrow, rather.
The Alicia Silverstones.
Yes, Alicia Silverstones and the Littletilers.
Oh, the We Don't Want to Miss a Things.
Sure.
When in depth, take a lyric or title and pluralize it
the Run DMC
Collaborists
that's actually
a really great
name for it
that's good
what about
what about
the Bogues
no next
sorry
sorry
Christmas in New York
there you go
there you go
the Eurythmics
I bet they have really great cover bands because they're all about the makeup see I'm trying to think of puns Christmas in New York. There you go. There you go. The Eurythmics. Oh, wow.
I bet they have really great cover bands.
For sure.
Because they're all about the makeup.
See, I'm trying to think of puns.
Yeah.
The Eur...
Eur...
Eur...
Rhythmics.
Eur...
Rhythmics.
Eur...
Rhythmics.
Sincerely Eur...
Rhythmics.
A night with the Eurhythmics.
Sincerely...
Yours.
Yours.
E-U-R...
Yeah. Sincerely yours. That's great-U-R-S. Yeah, sincerely yours.
That's great.
Oh, wow.
Or rhythmic gymnastics.
Sure.
Pretty good.
Okay.
Eurythmics and blues.
Were you going to say Jamiroquai?
Jamiroquai.
No, I wasn't.
I'm embarrassed of what I was going to say.
Go ahead.
Well, I don't know any J embarrassed of what I was going to say. Go ahead. Well, I don't know any of Jamiroquai's...
Prince.
Prince.
Oh, oh.
Purple Hazes.
Purple Rain.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, the Bat Dance.
The Bat Dance 3.
Yeah, depending on how many people Are in your
Prince tribute group
The Bat Dance 3
Alright well this is
Ooh
Papa Roach
Papa Roach
The Last Resort
That was pretty great
I cut my life into pieces
Suffocation No breathing Don't give a who That was pretty great. I cut my life into pieces.
Suffocation.
No breathing.
Don't give a who.
The mama.
You can do something with the papa.
The mama.
Oh, yeah.
You cross that over.
And what's the opposite of a roach?
Butterfly.
Yeah.
Papa butterfly.
The mama butterfly.
The papa roast Tree.
I'm sure no one's enjoying this.
Well, we are.
I am sweating.
I'm having so much fun.
All right.
Well, let's... Oh, sorry.
Yeah, let's.
Oh, well, for the first time ever,
this isn't the first time we've been sent something,
but this is the first time I've had the good sense
To hold off on opening it
I'm usually so excited
Yeah, we've received a few packages over the years
None suspicious
Yeah, this is from Emily F.
Of Denton, Texas
Oh, the best ever death metal band
Out of Denton
What's that?
Never settled on a name
Anyway, go ahead
Okay, let me just So you're opening it right now What's that? Never settled on a name. Anyway, go ahead.
Okay, let me just... So you're opening it right now.
Yeah.
U.S. Postal Service?
It's a padded envelope.
Yep.
Like a crazy person would wear.
Yeah.
Oh, something from Target.
Okay.
In a plastic bag.
Target, right guys?
And also something else from Target.
But you really went all out.
Or really went to Target.
Dave and Graham, love the show.
Thanks for all the hours of entertainment.
And then there's sparkly pictures of teddy bears.
One's doing karate.
Oh, I hope they're from Kittens Annual.
One's dressed like Santa Claus, et cetera.
Pass that around.
Thank you.
From Texas. Yeah, Thank you From Texas So we have in this plastic bag
Another
Plastic bag
Very wasteful
I'm sure it was a protective measure
There's another one
It's like Chinese dolls
Russian dolls.
Hey, look.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
It's a dog water dish or dog food bowl with grandpa's name on it.
Yeah, thank you.
And I think it's, yeah, on the bottom, there it is.
It's hand-painted.
It's got our name on the bottom, Emily.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, nice work.
You know, if you had that on the floor of your kitchen and someone walked in your house and didn't know you had a dog named Grandpa
They would be thoroughly confused
Grandpa eats on the floor
That's what you eat
And then, what was in the secondary?
I hope it's for humans
Oh, buddy, it is for humans like you and Ryan Beal
It's Twix peanut butter
Oh my god
Get in there Get in there Twix peanut butter. Get in there.
Twix peanut butter.
These are great.
Enjoy.
They're in my list of things
that will kill Graham on sight.
Really?
You can't eat the peanuts, eh?
I'm a pussy when it comes to that kind of stuff.
My brother, too.
It's every other nut but peanuts.
Oh, really? Or maybe it's peanuts and all nuts. I brother, too. Actually, no, it's everything, every other nut but peanuts. Oh, really?
So he's all...
Or maybe it's peanuts and all nuts.
I don't know.
He almost died one Christmas.
So I know.
Anyway, be careful.
Don't eat those nuts.
Oh, God.
Lay off the milk, kids.
Well, thank you so much, Emily.
And thank you to everybody
who sent in over the past few weeks
for the t-shirt contest
at MaximumFun.org.
Some fantastic entries.
If you want to check them out,
go to Maximum Fun.
The voting is over.
No, but if you just want to see them,
they're so great.
Oh, they were great.
Everybody did such a great job.
And thanks to everybody who sent them in.
And thanks for everybody
who sent in overheards and whatnot this week.
Ryan, if people want to find out about you,
they can see you each and every week at the Sunday service.
Sunday service, yep.
They can see you in a national broadcasting spot for A&W.
You play the old manager.
I play the old manager.
I'm kind of like the Estelle Getty of – I'm much younger, but I play older.
Right, right, right.
That's right.
Of the advertising world.
Yeah, thesundayservice.ca is a website where you can find information on my group.
If you're ever checking out comedy at the China Cloud in Vancouver, you can find me there doing stuff.
And you're also a co-host of Paul Anthony's
Talent Time.
Yeah, my trademark
character, Alan Felix,
co-hosts the show.
Can we speak to Alan Felix for a moment?
Absolutely.
Hello.
The character is me
with sunglasses.
I just wear sunglasses and call myself
something different.
Like Joe Cool.
Exactly.
Classic Alan Felix.
Classic Alan Felix.
Well, it's really, yeah, if you're in Vancouver or anywhere in the surrounding area and you've never had the pleasure of seeing Ryan Beal perform live, it is a treat and it is worth the trip.
Thanks, guys.
And Dave, do you have anything you want to plug?
I'm drawing a blank.
I'm going to say no.
OK.
Well, as we said earlier, this is donation season.
So make good on any kind of – if you want to donate to any of the podcasts, that's great.
If you want to donate to ours in particular, put that's great. If you want to donate to ours
in particular, put a note that says
hey, I assume you can
when you make the donation
who you're donating to.
But yeah, send in
donations because MaximumFun.org
is a great, great organization
and we are now a big part of it.
They're keeping us afloat.
We're keeping them afloat. And we're keeping them
weighted down slightly.
Probably.
Yeah.
That's called
symbiotic relationships
right there.
And yeah, everybody
thank you very much
for listening
and come on back next week
for another entertaining episode
of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.