Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 128 - Kaitlin Fontana

Episode Date: August 24, 2010

Kaitlin Fontana returns to talk conventions, Playboy, and quitting stories.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 128 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the man who puts the dog in the dog days of summer, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I'm like the bounty hunter. Yeah, spelled D-A-W-G-G, right?

D-A-W, two G's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, no, you either go D-A-W-G or D-O-G-G. Who says? It's 2010. Letters can just go any which way as long as it kind of sounds like. I know, but usually you could go shorter for text messages. Yeah, that's true.

So why add the extra G, O-M-G? G-G. And our guest today, repeat guest, two times you've been on before? Uh-huh. One time, what episode? I'm trying to think. There was a Christmas time and then- An earlier one.

Yes. And then an earlier one. You're a member of Rosa Parks Improv. That is correct. And Pony Hunters? Pony Hunters Sketch, yes. And I'm one of the organizers of the Vancouver International Improv Festival. And I'm stretching it out because I've blanked on your last name, which is horrible.

It's, I think, Italian. Oh, Fontana. That's the only clue we need. Caitlin Fontana, thank you. I don't know why I have trouble with last names. Was there a character on Murphy Brown called Frank Fontana? There certainly was. Yeah, he was the risky clue you need. Caitlin Fontana. Thank you. I don't know why I have trouble with last names. Was there a character on Murphy Brown called Frank Fontana? There certainly was. Yeah.

He was the risky one. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Should we get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Thank you for being our guest, by the way.

Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure. You just are hot off of a successful show where you're raising money that's true yes not for charity stinker boo charity for your own endeavors yes travel uh well you know i am in my 20s so uh i don't care about anyone else just myself oh is that the rule yeah nice yeah i have a couple more years of just caring about myself. What happens when you turn 30? Dismemberment. Oh, no.

Like Saw. Yeah, I base all my life knowledge on Saw. Saw is kind of like an allegory for the- Aging? Yeah, for 30 being the new 20. Right. You were raising money because you're going down to Austin, Texas? Yeah, we're going to...

Rosa Parks Improv was invited. I mean, let's be honest. We applied. Yeah, sure. Yeah. But they still sent you an invitation, right? Yes. We went to the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, which is in Austin, Texas, in the week before Labor Day.

Oh, nice. And it's a huge, just massive thing with not just improv, but stand-up and sketch and a whole bunch of comedy. All three types of possible comedy. Yeah, the only three. And you'll be able to wear white because it's before Labor Day, so that's great. Yes, and I'm really looking forward to that. Yeah.

That's the whole reason. Packing all my white capris now last time you were here you were about to go were you about to go to a star trek convention oh the not the christmas time are we just pretending that the christmas one didn't happen well did we met we didn't really talk to you much on that one you just told no i just told a great story. We had just decided we were going to go to the Star Trek convention at that point, I believe.

And how many Star Trek conventions have you been to since? Two, actually. Did you go to the local one? I went to the local one, yeah. And I wanted to go to the Vegas one again this year. Because the Vegas one is like the Holy Grail one. But it's just, I mean, unless you are, just have the most disposable income in the world,

it's just not tenable to go every year. Right, well, yeah. But how was the one year? The one year was fantastic. I can't even, it feels like a whirlwind of craziness because Nicole and I literally spent like four days doing nothing but Star Trek to the point where we actually...

Nicole Passmore, yes. Pass guest and co-improviser and sketcher. Yes. Sketchy? Sketchy. And trekker. Oh, you're a trekker. Fellow trekker, yes.

Sure. So she's an original series fan and I'm a next-gen fan. Right. How do you get along? What is your common ground? Guys, there's crossover episodes, okay? Sure.

There's that whole movie. There's the movie, Generations. So you guys watch that together a lot. Yeah. And argue about it. About how this would never happen and that would never happen. Exactly. Yes.

Yeah. But yeah, it was, it was fantastic. It was crazy. And we, we were so indoctrinated by the end that we actually went out into Las Vegas proper for like, Oh, we're in Vegas.

We should see some Vegas stuff. Yeah. And we saw these people, we saw this group of women. Were you still in your outfit? No, we changed outfits. Did you wear outfits?

I did. I have a uniform. I have a captain's uniform and Nicole handmade a Spock uniform, which led to us calling her shitty Spock the whole time Nicole handmade a Spock uniform which led to us calling her shitty Spock the whole time we were there. Shitty Spock. And yeah, just an amazing time.

And people just were so like stupefied by Nicole's terribleness of her costume because people there put so much time into their costumes. And they're close to California. They probably know somebody in a wardrobe department

or a special effects thing, so they're getting actual wharf head. You know, honestly, people do. Did anyone get wharf head? Yeah, we speculate that there are people that live your average dork lives and then come to Vegas for that weekend

and have Star Trek related affairs every year. Some Borg sex. Yeah. 7 of 9. 69. Wow. Oh my. Now this is I heard a rumor and I think I talked about it maybe the last time either yourself or Nicole was on that there's a town somewhere in America that's like a small township that's made up of people

who live their entire daily lives in Star Trek uniforms. It's like an M. Night Shyamalan movie. And it's not a town that appears on any maps. It's not like an official township, but it's a town somewhere out in some desolate area. Enterprise, Idaho. And that's how they lived their life.

Would you, if you found out that that was true, go and visit that town? Or live there. Oh, yeah. Or choose to relocate there. Well, I would definitely visit. I mean, that goes without saying, does it not?

If you found out that there was a town full of things that you loved, wouldn't you go there? Yeah. It's called Las Vegas. No, that's the thing though. Vegas itself, I would never go to Vegas for any other reason ever again. Vegas itself was ridiculous. We essentially got masturbated on by this guy

do you want to tell that story yeah was he dressed like a star trek no this is the thing we left the hotel anytime we left the hotel bad things would happen to us we were just convinced like if we stay with our own kind we'll be fine yeah uh yeah we decided to go for a walk and then of course there was like a 60 mile an hour windstorm in the middle of the desert, whipping sand at our faces. In spite of this, we're walking into the wind trying to get to a building or something out of the way. And we walk past this bus stop and there's a guy standing there. I don't really look.

But Nicole grabs my arm and she's like, that guy was masturbating. I'm like, really? It's Vegas, though. So, of course, I look because that's your first instinct is to be like, really? It's Vegas though. So of course I look because that's your first instinct is be like, really? Is he? And sure enough,

he was doing that and then I was like, oh my God. So we just kept walking and then we get like three blocks away. There's nobody else around because there's a crazy windstorm

and no one goes outside in Vegas because they're smarter than us and he sneaks up behind us. Oh no. And he's like, what's the matter? Wasn't big enough for you? Oh, gross. And he's like, what's the matter? Wasn't big enough for you? Oh, gross.

Yeah, it was really gross. That really should stay in Vegas. Yeah, it's not funny at all. But what was funny about it was we were just like, yeah, no, we're not. This is. And I was just like, go away. Stay away. Like running to try and get away from this guy.

Nice. Smart. Yeah, the moral of that was totally like, stay in the Hilton with the Star Trek people and you won't get masturbated on. So when he was following you, was he masturbating the whole time? No, but the first time we saw him, he was masturbating in a 60 mile an hour windstorm with sand whipping him. Maybe that's his kink.

With his pants down or coming out the bottom of his shorts? Paint a picture for us. Yeah, please. Go into more gruesome detail. Yeah, no, no. Just he was wearing pants and he was pulling it out the zipper hole.

Oh! I hope it was a button fly. This is the worst. Yeah. Yeah, so that and then the next time we went out just a gaggle of gross men

were like talking about us around us and kind of encircling us just like i'm gonna talk to the one in the tights that was nicole right this guy saying well i'm gonna talk to the other one and we're like let's just go back to where nerds are where they don't talk to you because you're female yeah is that still around or is that i always kind of figured that that's like an outdated notion but is that still a thing that nerds don't know how to uh yeah even in the nerd centric yeah they embody the the um confidence of the character they're dressed up as sometimes a data yeah the very first thing that happened to us when we went in the

convention hall where they have all the booths and stuff, we were like eee, you know, like laughing and running around. And the first guy we saw in a costume was a guy who, obviously, this is a big thing in the Trek world. At some point in your life, someone tells you you look like an actor from the series, and therefore you must dress like that person for the rest

of your life. So at some point, this guy who's just this sweet, sort of shy guy, someone said, you look like Michael Dorn guy who's just this sweet sort of shy guy someone said you look like michael dorn who's the actor that plays wharf nice uh which he kind of did a lot of other work no i saw i went to a segment on him on entertainment tonight he likes to fly planes yeah but he always insists on wearing that thing always which you can't do in a airplane go on that's all right uh yeah so he he's standing there and we're like oh my god can we get our picture with you and he was just flabbergasted

that was these two girls wanted to babes yeah babes i mean in the trek trek world babes yeah qualify yeah we're uh want to take a picture with him so he he was like oh yeah sure and then immediately realized he had to get into character so he was like you know getting kind of gruff and then uh and uh yeah and so i put my arm around him and nicole went to take the picture and and uh you know there's that little setup moment in picture taking when you feel kind of awkward and there's a moment of silence so i was like uh you having a good time and he turned to me and he said i am having what you humans call a blast i love it i love it uh and that was just like for the rest of the week and we're like yeah we're good this is our place these are our people what is a blast in klingon i don't know they don't

have a lot of words around joy no yeah yeahlingon language. Yeah, yeah. It's all business. It's all war and ceremony. Yeah, war and ceremony. Very good, Dave. I feel jealous that nothing I'm into has a convention where it's just like you could dress up like a thing that you like in that thing and just hang out. I do. I feel like an honest, because I couldn't, a couple weeks ago, I couldn't stop looking at pictures of people in costumes at Comic-Con. Yeah.

Right? Because there was somebody who compiled 875 pictures. Of course. And I looked at every single one of them. And it's just like so enchanting that there's these people who, they love it and they dress up. And like this guy goes into character to talk to people. It's great. There's no Teen Wolf conventions as far as I know.

Oh, but if there were. It would be a great basketball game. Would you be in the Michael J. Fox camp or the Jason Bateman camp? Oh, absolutely Michael J. Fox. I think that the Bateman's underestimated. I've never seen the Bateman one, though. It's very shitty. It's shitty, but he's a good guy.

He's a good guy, and he's good in it. He's kind of subtle in it. Yeah, I've always liked him. I do like him. He's like the thinking man's wolf teenager. Would there be... What I would like there is a simulator where you surf on top of a van.

Yeah, there would be that. There would be a styles booth. Many styles booths. Sure. A wolves versus humans basketball tournament. Yeah, there'd be a lot of great stuff. Yeah, something

with a dog whistle. A big dance party where everybody does the wolf dance. Bite a beer can. Yeah, everybody gets drunk party where everybody does the wolf dance. Yeah, bite a beer can. Yeah, everybody gets drunk. Did everybody get drunk at the Star Trek convention? Well, we certainly did. Because they had $5 Romulan ales,

which were actually this shit mix of different liquors all thrown together. Because Romulan ale is supposed to be really really strong okay it's like pure like you know right then it comes up many times in it as well so it gave it that kind of no but it came in like a huge this doesn't help i'm gesturing an audio based uh uh this big uh like a three foot high you know, those Vegas style plastic cups. Those things are futuristic. And like they're fluorescent, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we just want, and you can wander around and drink there.

That's one of the things that people love about that place. And masturbate. And drink we did. And masturbate. And get just predatorized. Raid upon? Thank you. No problems.

I am a writer. I only know that because I just watched the movie Predators. Right, right. How was it? Well, I think we discussed last week off podcast that I was super disappointed that in the trailer for Predators, there's a scene where Adrian Brody has a bunch of red laser sights on him, like 30 of them. Doesn't happen in the movie. Oh.

He has one on him for one moment, and then that's it. So on the scale of red laser sights, pretty disappointing. Sure. Now, forgive me, because I'm not a huge... I know a bit about Predator. Does that mean a Predator's coming for you if you have a red laser on you? It means that he's got his shoulder gun is trained on you, and instead of being a one red dot, it's a triangle of dots.

And so it just means that you're about to get predatored. Predated. Yeah. It was okay. I could have used more Danny Trejo, to be honest. You put him in a movie, I want to see him

all the way through the movie. That's why I think I'll like Machete. You should go to Machete Con. I would love Machete Con. How long has Danny Trejo been around? Because he really seems to have burst onto the scene in the last 10 years. But I feel like I've seen him my whole life. I think he's been around since the 80s. He seems like one of those guys that was in, you know,

like he should have been in various B-horror films in some way or another. And he's always the tough Mexican in the jail or in the gang. Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah, he's been around. Yeah, why can't there be a thing of that? I would go to that. Well, I guess I could go to the Big Lebowski Festival.

That's a thing that exists. Yeah, but I don't know. That would go to that. Well, I guess I could go to the Big Lebowski Festival. That's a thing that exists. Yeah, but I don't know. That would probably be really annoying. Am I wrong about that? No, no. I just feel like it's... People who are really into the Big Lebowski aren't the best dudes. Why are the people who are into Star Trek

and whatnot so... Well, Star Trek specifically, I think, are more thoughtful and kind of sensitive folk. And then people who are into anything else, it's just kind of like you don't want to... Like, I like the Insane Clown Posse's music, but I don't want to hang around the people who enjoy it. They should have a word for the people who like them.

Yeah, they really should. I think they should look into developing that. Clowners. Ickpuss. Do you want to know the real answer to that i'm happy to provide i'm absolutely this is just a fascinating soap you know what's funny is on the way here at my two minute walk from my house to this house i was like i think today i'm going to try to not talk about stuff oh well we blew that out of the water i apologize no no no don I apologize. No, no, no. Don't apologize because I always will. Yeah.

But it's because it's part of the show is this grand vision for a better universe where everyone gets along and there's no such thing as like differences between race. There's no money. There's no... I mean, there still is conflict, but the United Federation of Planets takes care of everybody. And if you want to join them, then they'll take care of you, essentially. There's no money? Yeah.

There's no money. I caught on to that, too. Who pays for things? How do things happen? There are money systems on certain worlds, but in terms of the Federation, it's all about trade. Right. And, you know, making deals. So that bar that they hang out in.

Yes. Ten Forward? Yeah. Thank you. I didn't want to say it. It's a pun. Ten Forward. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's like a place pilots hang out at. Yeah, yeah. Pretty good. Or truck drivers. And Whoopi is there. That's the most important part. Yeah, how do they pay for them drinks they don't have to i know but how do they get the drinks they trade for them uh replicators guys really

yeah it's they just have one drink and then they just replicate it no no it's you can just ask for there's a there's a computer that can synthesize any food or drink in the world that's what you know when picard walks up and says, tea, oh, gray, hot, and it just comes out of the machine? Yeah. That's a replicator. So it's not actually... Who builds the replicators, and how do they get paid?

I'm... This is... Listen, Dave. The economy of this is buckling. Yeah. Are there any Star Trek characters that are just accountants? Yeah. That do the books?

I'm sure there are. Are you familiar with the phrase, money talks, bullshit walks? Listen. That's the other bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's just the way it is. I didn't realize that it had any, now that I think of it, there was never any, like, thing where... Storyline I could think of with a ransom.

Was there? Am I wrong about that? No. Well, usually, if it is, it's, like, based around, I'm gonna blow up your thing, or... Yeah, yeah. If I don't get this crystal thing that helps me do this thing. Yeah, or I'll kill this person or that person. Yeah, yeah.

I guess there is no money. It's like John Lennon's song. Yeah. Imagine there's no countries, right? like John Lennon's song. Imagine there's no countries. Are there any countries? Planets more so. But there are... There are the new countries.

But that's it. The undiscovered country. That's the future, Dave. Did you watch it? Sorry. I didn't watch it. I never watched any Star Trek. One of the movies was on the other day, and Abby was watching it,

and it was the one where Data learns what humor is. That's Generations. Okay. As previously discussed, yeah. That is the worst bit of acting ever. Really? When he gets his emotion chip. Oh, man.

It's just the best, worst acting. um okay we'll get off the star trek because i could tell that you're like you're like all right we could go on this 20 minutes of star trek and we're good you know uh so uh what's your favorite it's my laziness as a host that i'm like there was a second of silence we uh about Star Trek? Yeah. So tell us what else has been going on recently, lately. For me? Yeah. Personally? Yeah, for you.

Well, I mean, I'm a writer as well as a comedian. Go on. I'm working on a book right now. I'm writing a book. An e-book? A Kindle? You're writing a Kindle? I'm writing just one kindle

so really all it involves is writing the word kindle sure yeah no I'm writing a book about Mint Records which is a Vancouver

record label so I'm working on that so a non-fiction non-fiction yeah wow the history of the label or it could be a fiction and there could be a murder

yes yes and you have to solve it by the end of the book murder at Narwhal's house yeah now to solve it by the end of the book. Murder at Nardwur's house. Choose your own adventure. Yeah. Now, for anybody, you know, our listeners in the States or overseas,

Mint Records is famous for? The new pornographers, Nico Case, Nardwur, as previously mentioned, who, if you don't know who Nardwur is, I encourage you to Google the word Nardwur. Just Google human serviette. Also will bring up some great... Although more Americans know about him now than previously. He's on a WFMU as a show.

Yeah, that's right. Which is coast to coast? The internet is. Yeah, the internet. The internet is coast to coast. But yeah, he's been great. I hang out with him on occasion for the book. Does he wear that hat all the time?

Yes, he does. Well, he takes it off every once in a while, but he wears it most of the time. Because I think the thing a lot of people, when they see Nardwuar, they're always wondering, is that a character guy? That he's playing a character, and then he's not actually like that. But every time I've ever seen him or met him, he is like that. So maybe it isn't a character? Yeah, well, it is, but it's him, and it has been him since he was in high school.

And so I think... And he's part of this book. You're doing research. Yeah. Ah. So, and I'm also writing an article about just him for a magazine. So I think a lot about who Nardwuar is. Yeah.

Probably more than most people do. But he is fascinating because every once in a while someone will say something to me like, well, have you met John Ruskin? Like that's his real name. Oh. And I'll say, oh. Let me check. No, I don't think so.

And they're like, you would know if you met him. I'm like, okay. So it's like this mystery of the real guy behind Nardwuar. And it's fascinating as it is to many people. Very interesting. Yeah. I'm fascinated by the dual identity. I was...

I know. I feel like it takes a lot of energy that I just don't have to carry. Like it takes enough to just... Yeah, I'm bored with my single identity. Unless you were someone who... If you could completely change your appearance to be this identity. I don't think Neil Hamburger, if he doesn't have the comb over, people don't recognize him and want to talk to him about Neil Hamburger.

Or like Dame Edna. Yeah. I read an interview with Paul Rubens, and he said if he grew out his hair just a little bit and grew any kind of facial hair, nobody would ever recognize him. Like, he could just vanish. Well, like in Blow, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Right? Like, he didn't – if it wasn't the haircut and the suit, nobody would know who he was. would know who he was and i was like the maintenance involved in being a guy that has a different like just a whole different persona yeah is it's a it's a life's work yeah i'd be insane yeah and when you're one of those guys who is like when you find out the real name you're like who yeah yeah oh peewee herman right like and And any news about them, Pee Wee Herman was masturbating in the movie theater. That would have been awesome. Yeah, that would have been great. Not shady at all.

Yeah. The opposite of shady. I just think it was funny that people were like, oh, a children's host doing something? Those are the people that do that. I love Pee Wee Herman. Don't get me wrong. I grew up with Pee Wee Herman.

Yeah, you're entering into the if I stepped on Star Trek for you zone when you're stepping on Pee Wee Herman. Yeah, no, no. I love Pee Wee Herman. But if you watch the show as an adult, you notice there's all kinds of dirty little things happening in there. And that's what being a kid is like. Weird, dirty things happen to you. And you're like, I don't know how to interpret this because I'm a kid. Yeah.

Yeah, like the I'll show you mine, you show me yours game. I mean't know how to interpret this because I'm a kid. I'll show you mine, you show me yours game. That kind of thing happens when you're a kid. My favorite always was with Pee Wee Herman. He was playing doctor in one episode. You know those mirrors that doctors used to wear on their heads? I think they still do. Mine does. Really?

Do you go to a country doctor? He prescribes a lot of liniment. Yeah. And leeches. A jar full of leeches, yeah. Oh, man. Oh, yes. He gives me Lorenzo's oil.

Go on. Go on. Yeah, in that episode, he's playing it with Reba the mail lady from Law and Order. I was going to follow that. Sure. Reba the mail lady from Law and Order. I was going to follow that. Sure. Reba the mail lady from Law and Order. Lawrence Fishburne. Lawrence Fishburne.

He's giving her a checkup or whatever. And then at one point he drops his mirror and he goes, oops, I dropped my mirror. And then when he goes down to pick it up, he uses it to look up Reba the mail lady's skirt. I remember it. Yeah. Come on. Right? That was always in there.

When I was that age and I was watching Pee Wee Herman when I was six or seven, I was looking up girls' skirts. Exactly. I didn't know why. Something to fill the time. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes a girl would run around and lift her skirt up and you're like, okay, come on. This is too easy. You're embarrassing yourself.

You're taking the mystery out of all of us. It's all in there I don't know, I find it weird that parents And people get all weirded out by Stuff like that I mean, I guess you're not supposed to masturbate in a public place I guess But a porno heater, that's not like it's a Community center or something

It's like if a bathhouse was raided And then there was like There was untoward things going on. That's where that happens. That's the way society functions. Or Europe. Yeah, sure. Or Europe. He was caught bathing in Europe.

Wait, no. No one bathes in Europe. Cologne. Have you ever been in a porno theater? Yes. I haven't. What's that like you ever been in a porno theater? Yeah. Yes. I haven't. What's that like?

Gross. Yeah, it's kind of gross. There's a dampness to the air. Yeah. And it's like what I emceed a screening of like an original print of Deep Throat. That's when I was there. Yeah. Yeah.

And so it's fun because it was like you were there with you know people like that weren't gonna masturbate yeah there was no but it was really it smelled weird and it was weird and it was gross i actually threw out the pants oh really yeah because when i got home i was just like well i don't want to have these in my house now they yeah and so i just on my way into the house, just threw them in the garbage can. Just stopped and pulled out your pants at your front door. I was very drunk. Oh, okay. That makes sense. That, speaking of, I had to buy for that Paul Rubin's interview, he

was recently interviewed by Playboy, so I had to buy a Playboy. Had to. Poor guy. Well, I haven't bought a smutty magazine since I was a teenager or something. Right. It was weird because it's like I haven't gained any confidence in that department. No eye contact with the cashier.

Money on the counter. You have to ask for it, right? No. It was a magazine shop, but it's in a plastic wrapper. It's behind the plastic divider where all the smut. like plastic wrapper. It's very, it's behind the plastic divider where all this smut,

which really shouldn't be, it shouldn't be like Playboy interviews with, you know, Paul Rubens and like an analysis of the exit plan for the Afghanistan war. And then it's right next to, you know, like fuck jugglers or whatever. Like just like some crazy,

like weird porno that you didn't ever think existed. Oh my. It's weird that well, first of all, no one has any need to buy porno anymore. Yeah, well that's exactly it. Especially in Star Trek universe where there's no money. You could just replicate

something. But I feel like most of the people buying porno would be, maybe 10 years ago, most of the people buying porno would be people underage. Yeah, I think it's split down the middle between underage people and people buying it for underage people. You know, and then, like, make it a couple bucks on that transaction. And then people buying it to see underage people. Oh, come on. What?

I'm thinking it's the law. Yeah. There's laws against it. Thanks for your support, guys. People buying it for the underage people and then to watch them read it? Yes, through their window. And then there's another guy watching that guy down the street. How come Maxim gets to hang out with the regular magazines?

Because there's no nipples. It's literally nipples. Yeah. That's all it is. Well, and the... The nether regions. Undercarriage. In this issue of Playboy, there's zero undercarriage.

Okay. So I was like, well, this should... Maxim's way smuttier, and there's no content to it either should maxim's way smuttier and there's no content to it either maxim's not smuttier i mean smut smut means nipples cramp maxim's way dumber i'm sure yeah yeah yeah i guess that's what i meant by smuttier playboy has a history of having really great journalism in it yeah which is what's interesting to me there was writings by kinky friedman from dispatches from te from Texas by Kinky Friedman. Huh.

Yeah. Huh. And in other countries, they have all kinds of articles in their Playboys that immediately when you said that, I thought of my dad was like an outdoors guy,

a hunter, a fisherman guy. Like Frank Fontana. Yeah. Like Frank Fontana. And he, there was an article about his company in a Chinese Playboy.

Oh, wow. And he had, they sent him a copy of it and he just like put it in his file cabinet. So sometimes when I'd go through to get something for him, there's just a Chinese Playboy in there. Nice. It was supposed to be like the man magazine, so they want to put all this man stuff, you know? Weird.

I didn't know that they would just send you a copy of a magazine you were mentioned in. Yeah. Classy magazines will do that. Yeah. You didn't know what it said about him because it was in Chinese, but there you go. Condemnation of everything he's about.

Dave, has anything been going on with you recently? Yeah, Dave. Let's see. Last week, Abby and Abby's mother and I went to the Vancouver Art Gallery. And there was an exhibit on. The Vag.

Yes. The Vag. There was an exhibit on, I think it was very narrow. It was 19th century French drawings of women. Wow. That is like, you know what you're going to get. Was there Degas in there? There was Degas.

There was Renoir. Renoir. There was Toulouse-Lautrec. Oh, yes. And Toulouse-Lautrec. Ah. Uh-huh. And, you know, a few of the other heavy hitters.

Toulouse-Lautrec, the next generation. Yeah. Pretty good, right? Pretty good, guys. Yeah, that's my favorite so far. And, but, so, yeah, that was fine i mean whatever yeah learning yeah i like pictures sure um but in every room of the art gallery there was like a a paragraph on what you were seeing in that room and it would be these pictures depict women at work. And prior to this, you would never see pictures of women at work.

That was just not a subject artists ever did. And then it would be in this one, you would see a mother with her child. You never used to see that before unless it was Mary and Jesus. Right. And in every one of them, it was basically all the explanations were, I know this seems boring. But prior to this, no one had ever done this before. It's women bathing in their own baths.

Wow. Very. Well, I thought the first rendition of a woman working was the we can do it girl with the handkerchief on her head. Yeah, sure. So I'm surprised to learn there was somethingkerchief on her. Yeah, sure. So I'm surprised to learn there was something that predated that. Yeah, yeah. It was French women in a hat shop.

They were rolling up their sleeves. They had so many layers of clothes. So that was that. That's pretty great. Yeah, I recommend art. Edumacations. Yeah. I like art. Why not?ations. Yeah. I like art.

Why not? I haven't been to the... I only go there like maybe twice a year because it's expensive. Yeah. And I'd like to be one of those people that have a membership. I have a membership. How's that? My parents have a membership.

And I think like every couple of years they get a free membership to give to someone. And so they get... Like I went a couple of years ago a couple of times. And then now I have a new membership. So I can't wait to see what the year holds for me. Very good. That's pretty great. I went there. Well, the last time I went there, they had this fantastic photo series of this guy who took pictures of people waiting at bus stops in Los Angeles.

Because Los Angeles is not a transit culture. It's all cars. Yeah. So it was just like the most run-down, desolate, nothing-for-miles kind of bus stops and just the saddest kind of broken down. It was amazing. I imagine if you took photos in any other kind of city, it wouldn't look as desperate. But it just seemed like every bus stop was the bus out of town

in Los Angeles, you know? It's like they don't have, I don't even know if they have, do they have buses? I know I saw the movie Speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had them. Maybe they canceled it after that. They canceled them. Maybe they canceled it after that. They canceled them.

No, there was the Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise one, Collateral. Oh, was that on a bus? It was in a taxi cab, and then it was on a bus, and then it was in a subway. That's the whole movie takes place in? Well, like they move and. I've never seen it. But I just remember in that, everyone was...

All the reviews were, hey, I didn't know L.A. had a subway. Yeah, that's true. Well, that's cool. So, art. Yeah. Yeah, art. Pretty cool.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Other than that, I saw Scott Pilgrim. It was pretty good. Oh, yeah? I want to see Scott Pilgrim. I went to the other guys instead. That was...

Oh, that's good, too. Yeah, and did you enjoy? I did enjoy. Did you see it? No, I haven't seen it, but I was kind of on the fence. Here's what... This is the one thing about the movie, and this won't spoil anything, I don't think. Well, we won't know until you've spoiled it already.

You won't know until she sees it. That's true. But during the credits... Oh, God! For a Will Fer a will there are credits oh no well there you go closing the closing credits i expect in a will ferrell movie that i'm either going to be just treated to regular credits or credits where will ferrell's will ferrelling around goofing around and takes yeah second takes that are funnier than what made it into the movie. Exaggerated takes. But instead...

Yeah, statistics. It was weird statistics about the kind of like the stock market... Finance crime. Yeah, the finance crime and stuff that happened like a year ago. And I was like, so off of a C storyline in the movie, you decided to... What? What was that? Was that not strange?

Yeah, it was a little weird, but you know, I'm leaving. But it's like this goofy buddy comedy, and then at the end they're like, here's the moral. I was like, no, I didn't sign up for stats. They just showed the first ten minutes of the corporation. It was. They just showed the first 10 minutes of the corporation. It was. It was like those graphics from a Michael Moore film or whatever, saying this is how much the CEOs gave themselves in bonuses.

After the bailout. Yeah, and this is how much they got in the bailout, and this is how much an average worker worked. This is how a Ponzi scheme works. Yeah, and I was like, what? It literally is the smallest part of the film, and they're like, well, let's really drum. Do you think that that was the director at the end was like, I'm so angry about this. I got to turn my film that Adam McKay.

So maybe he tried to insert that into the movie at the last minute because he was angry about it. But he's also a multimillionaire. Right. Yeah. But so is Michael Moore. That's true. That's all he can do. but he doesn't dress it am i right he could pass for a not um not any in air yeah every day he looks like he just got laid off from an auto factory that's part of his charm yeah uh he's the only guy who could count that look yeah charming he It's charming. He also always looks like he's just decided not to shower that day, that he showered the

previous day. Yeah. But then that morning he was like, oh, today's going to be a tough one. Because he was on Good Morning America and he had to get up early. Yes, exactly. Let's skip the shower. Yeah. And he's got, he always wears a hat, a baseball cap, and always has way, not long hair, but

his hair is way too big to fit under the hat. And also he's not bald, so he doesn't have to be wearing a baseball cap all always has way not long hair but his hair is way too big to fit under the hat and also he's not bald so he doesn't have to be wearing a baseball cap all the time like he has a full head of hair and he could have a haircut and no it's that is that is the ultimate kind of character thing where you choose to be uh dame edna of the man of the people kind of thing. Right. Right. Yeah. The Dame Edna of the people. Yeah. Michael Moore. Yeah. Yeah, that should be his byline.

Yeah. Michael Moore, Dame Edna of the people. But on the other hand, it's also the easiest character to be, is the guy who barely wears more than pajamas. Yeah. Like Larry the Kibble guy? No, like Michael Moore. Oh, okay. Because Michael Moore's a than pajamas. Yeah. Like Larry the Kibble Guy? No, like Michael Moore. Oh, okay. Because Michael Moore's a real guy.

Larry the Kibble Guy isn't a real guy. He's like, that guy's name isn't even Larry. No. It's like... Cumberbund. Yeah, is that right? Yeah. Cumberbund.

Prince Cumberbund. Rothschild. The third. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are we at Overheard? Do we have anything... Do you have anything that happened to you?

There was a murder that happened in my neighborhood. Yeah, that was weird. And my whole neighborhood was taped off for an entire day. Wow. Were you within the taping area? Yep. Were you allowed in taping area? Yep. Were you allowed in and out? Yeah, but you had to explain every time.

I mean, I'm talking about sex. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you had to explain every time why is this happening. But the weird thing, and I think this happens, I don't think this is as specific to this incident, but I think whenever there's a thing in a neighborhood that's like a bad event, like a fire or a big accident or whatever, all of a sudden your neighborhood where you would never talk to

anybody becomes like Coronation Street. Like everybody knows everybody all of a sudden. And they talk in bad British accent. You got murdered! So it's T, Earl Grey. Yeah, synthesize it. But yeah, so that was strange. That was a strange event. And I don't really know the details beyond what was in the newspaper. You don't want to know.

Exactly. Whatever was happening, I don't know. Don't want to know. You're cool with it. I'm down with whatever. Did you have people that were really stressed out about the inconvenience to them by the cops being there? Because that's what amazes me in those situations. The weird part was that there was no – it was never anything like that.

But the thing was is that everyone in the neighborhood, nobody wanted to talk to the press. The press was everywhere. There was more press there than there were cops. And the press decided to camp out on my lawn, which was great, because they were having a picnic there. So every time I went out to take out the garbage, they would turn around

hoping that it was some new person and it was just me who told them that I'm not talking to you. How many times did you take out the garbage that day? Well, I was trying to cover up a murder. Right. Why did I say that? Why do I say stupid things like that? Oy, oy, oy.

So stupid. I will be solo hosting the show next week. But yeah, so it was weird. It was a weird thing and it was in the papers and all over the country and you know, coast to coast, right? Why'd you bring it up? I don't know why I brought it up. I don't know, because it was in the papers and all over the country and, you know, coast to coast, right? Yeah, why'd you bring it up?

I don't know why I brought it up. I don't know, because it was something that happened. Sure. It's pretty dramatic when something big like that happens in your neighborhood. It's dramatic, yeah. Well, I know, but it's just such a sensitive issue for you. Can I give you an out to just cut out that whole joke? I don't know what that is.

What, the out? Just say, yeah. Nothing happened to me this week. There you go. There's your out. Well, isn't that weird? Isn't that a thing you would talk about? Yeah, I would.

Yeah, of course. Like a shooting? Right, of course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I went to a concert once, and when I came out, at Richards on Richards, rest in peace, when I came out, my car was inside a police zone that someone had been stabbed in the apartment building above.

And so I was just like, can I get my car? And the cops were like, no, you have to come back tomorrow. I was like, all right. But there were so many people that were so mad, like, I have to go to work tomorrow. And I wanted to be like, excuse me, someone is dead. You're complaining to the cops about how you can't get into your apartment this one's like i left the kettle on it's like okay

well a police officer why did you leave the house yes no amazing wait you're telling me that i can leave my car here till tomorrow yeah do i have to pay for parking exactly i was like really and he's like no i'll just put a thing on your windshield and you can come get it. Awesome. Sweet. And I got there and there was a little cop thing like do not remove this car, blah, blah, blah.

And you took that, photocopied it a million times, handed it out to your friends. So many times. So many times. We're all parking for free this year. Have you ever had something like that where you've been in the crime scene?

In the vicinity? A crime scene. I've been in the in the crime scene uh never a crime scene i've been around like a lot of when like uh fires and um uh you know ambulances show up but yeah but never uh some hardcore cop stuff that's because you're one of those ambulance station lawyers chasing shit i mean i've witnessed a lot of like let's call the cops because weird stuff's going on yeah yeah yeah I think that's sort of a Vancouver pastime let's call the cops something weird's going on

I've never called the cops though I have I think I have too yeah I've had several occasions I feel like talking to a 911 operator is the worst. Because you want to act not too casual, because then it seems like you're making it up, or

you're trying to cover something up. But you don't want to be that screaming person, either. So you want to find a balance in between. It seems really criminal. These prices are so low, it's almost criminal. I'm calling from a Walmart. Oh, guys. I'm sorry I brought it up.

Right? Hey, the world is full of light and darkness. Yeah, the world is a vampire. Yeah, it's true. Sent to drain. Was it sent to drain or set to drain? Sent. Wait.

Oh, sent. Sent to drain. So it's not a vampire whose setting was drain. Was it sent to drain or set to drain? Sent. Wait, oh, sent. Sent to drain. So it's not a vampire whose setting was drain. Set vampires to drain. You can set a phaser to stun. You have a vampire that fills and a vampire that drains. Yeah. Like a drill.

Why did I actually think that that was the lyric Until right now Set to drain Because it didn't matter in your world until now It didn't matter in the 90s Everybody was draining everybody then Didn't matter Alright, do you want to talk about overheards? Overheard

Overheard If you've gots. Overheards. If you've got a bit of a nosy ear or a mouthy eye, then you can enjoy all the treasures that exist in the ether when you're listening to other people talk. Okay. Thank you. We like to start always with the guest. And if you could lead the way, that would be wonderful. Certainly. I gave this a lot of thought. And I recently I went and saw the film Get Low with Robert Duvall and Bill Murray.

Loved it. By Flo Rida. Great. By Flo Rida. Yes. You saw it? Yeah. Yeah. That was great it was great and there was one line that bill murray did that was just like his line reading over whatever was like oh hermit money that was just like the perfect it's not my overheard though i haven't seen it uh yeah um but i was standing in line for popcorn as i want to do at the movie theater and uh both in front of me and behind

me were like the worst dates ever just the conversations they were having i couldn't believe it the people in front of me and behind me were like the worst dates ever. Just the conversations they were having, I couldn't believe it. The people in front of me were just regular douchebags that I wouldn't... They were probably having a good date in their world, but not in my world. That wasn't a good date. But the people behind me were the most amazing.

I figure they were about a month in to a relationship, just based on common language, whatever. So they were pretty hot and heavy. Yeah, or just beginning to sort of level off, maybe. I don't know. But they were talking about how they were at their friend's place who has kids, and they were surprised that there wasn't anything good to eat in the fridge, like that it was healthy stuff

instead of kid stuff like junk. Sure. And they both wanted the junk, and they were surprised. And it began this back and forth of the woman, obviously, in my mind anyway, baiting the guy to try and get him to ask her a question about herself. So it kind of went like this. It was like, she's like, yeah, well, you know, I used to really think about what I ate. But now I don't care anymore.

I just eat whatever I want. And the guy goes, oh, yeah, yeah, me too. You know, I just like food,. I just eat whatever I want. And the guy goes, oh, yeah, yeah, me too. You know, I just like food, so I'll just eat whatever. She goes, yeah, but, you know, I used to be really focused on it, and now I just eat anything ever all the time I love to eat. And he's like, yeah, great. And it just kind of kept going like that for a little bit. And then I could just see it coming down the pipe.

Like, I was like, oh, this is coming. It's coming. And then I could just see it coming down the pipe. Like I was like, oh, this is coming. It's coming. And she finally, she's like, aren't you going to ask me, you know, why? And he was like, oh, I don't know. Sure.

Why? And she was like, well, I used to have an eating disorder. And it was just like this pause for effect. And there was this moment of like three seconds where i was like counting down to the the metaphorical sound of the air being let out of a balloon of this relationship where the guy said well maybe it was because you ate anything you wanted that you had an eating disorder and it was just like silence they didn't talk to each other for the next like 10 minutes while we were waiting for And it was just like... Silence. They didn't talk to each other for the next 10 minutes while we were waiting for the popcorn to be delivered.

That's a slow one. That's the end of that. Enjoy the other guys. Yeah, exactly. And then the douchebags in front of me were like, after this, let's go down to the Granville Strip. Yeah, sounds good. Between these two relationships, I was like, no.

Get me out of here. Get me some Robert Duvall and away from this. I would have said witch eating disorder. Oh, there you go. Keep asking questions, right? Like investigate. And then when they tell me, I say, gross. The puking one?

Ew. Ew. Ew. Well, we don't mean to be insensitive. If you have any disorder, you should get help. Yeah. It's true. I would have taken the eat, pray, love approach to the conversation. Have you read that book, Eat, Pray, Love?

She also ate whatever she wanted. That's how I would have went. Yes. That's actually, that's a great. When I first saw it on bookshelves Before I knew the movie plot of it I thought it was a diet book And I thought

Oh, you go to Italy first And you eat as much as you can Then you go to India And you get food poisoning That's where you And then you pray that you survive And then you go have a fling with Javier Bardem. Everybody who goes to Europe's got to.

Or Indonesia. Dave, do you have an overheard? I do. I was at the H&M in Vancouver. Javier and I went to H&M. We were looking for some orange denim. His and Madame's. Yep.

It's Hennis and Moritz, I believe. And there was a guy who was an employee, and he was talking to another employee, a woman. A girl? I don't know. You've got to be young to work there. Well, she'll be a woman soon. Yeah. That girl. She's not a girl, but not yet a gotta be young to work there well she'll be a woman soon yeah she's not a girl but not yet a woman okay any other ones um man i feel like a woman

uh thank goodness for little girls thank heavens um i uh i heard he was talking to her apparently about a relationship that had ended and he wanted to reignite and the woman or girl she said uh she tried to stab you then don't try to get back with her yeah and then later i saw the same guy having a conversation with a different employee and he was trying to and he was explaining his past with this girl about the same subject but I guess he didn't want the stabbing to be

something to color influence the decision and that color is red the color of blood so he said to this guy there was an incident, I don't want to get into it. That was all. Eat, pray, love, stab.

I love the idea of a guy that wakes up in the morning and goes, today at my job at H&M, I'm going to ask all of my fellow employees whether I should get back with the stabby girl. Yeah. Well, so, you know, this is my line of thinking. This is completely just from, you know, this is my, this is my line of thinking. I'm just, this is completely just from, you know,

not even hearing the conversation, but if it's somebody who stabs you, probably crazy, probably crazy good and bad. Right? Yeah. That's why he's considering, uh,

getting, he's like, oh, you know, but aside from the stabbing, like things were really crazy good. Yeah. Like no inhibition.

Yeah. She eats whatever she wants. Praise wherever she feels. Do you think that's why you stabbed him? Because you eat whatever you want? Because you won't stop eating everything that you want? Either you've been stabbed. I've accidentally stabbed myself, but that's not a relationship thing. I guess it's a relationship with yourself,

which is the most important relationship of all, right? But I've never, like, stabbed my gut. Oh, no, I've never stabbed my gut. But, yeah, I've definitely accidentally stabbed myself in the hand. Oh, yeah. You know that pencil game with a knife? You're supposed to do it with a pencil, you know, with the fingers. Right, right.

Is it in Goodfellas where they do it with a knife? Yeah. Or Goodfellas? Goodfellas, where they do it with a knife? Yeah. Sorry, Goodfellas? Goodfellas. Yeah. Good day. The movie about fellowship. The fellowship of Christ. Okay. Graham, you got an overheard, I know it.

I've got one where I was involved in it, which is great. Okay. This is... It's like a first person shooter yeah i was uh drinking uh this is uh a thursday night after uh doing a show and i drank the new friday i drank yeah well for me it's always been friday then i have friday's old friday and then saturday is new sunday right and sunday i'm in love um i uh well, so I was drunk and I was on the train and I was trying to listen to, I think I was listening to a podcast, like a talkie podcast. And the guys in front of me decided to take the earphone out of the iPhone and just play their horrible techno music for all to hear.

And so I was like, oh, I just bided my time. This was like six stops I was with them. And just as the train stopped at my stop and I got off, I waited for the doors to open and then I stood there just giving myself enough time so that the doors would close right after I yelled at them, your music is terrible. And the one guy said, you were wearing earbuds! And then it closed.

I'm like, yes! They weren't noise cancelling. Yeah, exactly. But it was great, because I timed it out. Because they could have chased me, but I just timed it out that the doors closed. How dare you say our music is terrible. Were they trying to do something from a Smirnoff Ice

commercial, where you try to create events like a party in the subway? Yeah, like I pull out a Mickey vodka album. I think I start pouring drinks for everybody. We all get hepatitis. Sure. From listening to Techno. This is a weird thing, and I don't know if you – That's Technotitis, not hepatitis.

Thanks for adding that. Yeah, anytime. I have twice, and I feel like it'll probably happen again, had instances where I've been on public transport, and a woman, in particular, was listening to that Jay-Z song, New York, so loud... Empire State of Mind. Yeah, that everybody can hear it. And I don't know what it is about that that I find so sexy.

No, obnoxious. Anytime someone's listening to something so loud that everyone can hear it, it's obnoxious. But they kind of are grooving with it, too. Like, it's not just they're listening to it. Like, they're also kind of dancing. Yeah. I'm like, why do I have to be at your dance. It's not just they're listening to it. They're also kind of dancing. Yeah. I'm like, why do I have to be at your dance party?

Well, because you're not a woman. Or why can't you get away with that? Are you jealous because you can't have a podcast blaring and you can nod along to it? I agree. Yeah, I guess I'm jealous. I agree with Ira Glass. Yeah, I would really like to see someone just really rocking a podcast. Yeah, I guess I'm jealous. I agree with Ira Glass. Yeah, I would really like to see someone just really rocking a podcast. Yeah, I agree with that.

And the more serious, the better. Sure. Like, that's what you should do next time is just unplug your, you know. Mine doesn't have, mine's just an iPod. It doesn't do that. Yeah, you unplug it and it pauses itself. Yeah, and I would just hear everybody's stupid music. Pretty good, though.

I felt like I really made a stand for everybody. It's important to do that sometimes. Right? Yeah. But this was around midnight? Oh, past midnight. Oh, anything goes. Yeah, right?

Like your comment goes and their behavior certainly goes. Yeah. Putting on the Ritz. Yeah. certainly goes. Yeah. Putting on the ritz. Yeah. Anything goes. We also have overheard sent in by listeners via the mode of email. If you want to be one of these people who sends it in, you can send it to stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com.

One second. Anything goes. Heaven knows, right? Is that Cole Porter? Is that who that is? Is that, uh, that, um... One of those ones. Yeah. Is that, uh, what Kevin, who did Kevin Kline play in that movie? Oh. Yes. Cole Porter. Uh, the, uh, the Lovely. Was that the movie? Good for me.

Good for you. Yeah, really good for you. That's really good. One of my favorite biopics I've never seen. Our first overheard comes from Carrie G. Carrie G writes in a friend of mine who isn't a listener told me this story about her

flight recently. He was on a plane with a couple on their honeymoon engaging what she described as some sort of plane party with everyone in their immediate vicinity, flight attendants included, talking and laughing loudly while downing Jack and Cokes for three straight hours. At the end of the flight, as she was getting off the plane, she overheard the new husband

saying, this is the first time I don't want to get off the plane. And the worst part is now I have to go home and make like a hundred hot dogs. Yeah, for the reception. Classy. Pretty good, right? Yeah. Sometimes you're on flights and it's kind of fun. Yeah.

I've never been on a flight where I want to. I'm never part of the fun. Oh, like there was fun happening yeah beach balls have you ever been on a super fun flight um no I don't think so I mean yeah

vague hints at fun but I've never been directly involved in the fun necessarily I've been on a flight where it's like three hours and the guys have six Heinekens. Yeah. I'm like, wow, these guys are fun. Yeah, yeah. Sarcastic fun, though, with finger quotes around it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This next one is sent to us by somebody named Bosco P. Pretty good. Nickname Bosco. Here's my overheard. I was fixing a copier at an office when the plant manager calls on one

of the employees, or calls one of the employees over the intercom. The employee walks in the room and the manager says, what's this I hear about an injury? How the hell do you manage to break your dick on the job? To this, the employee says sheepishly, nah boss, it was my balls.

They're all bruised. Meanwhile, no one ever seemed to notice the copier guy in the room. Pretty good. Yeah, you're breaking my balls here, boss. Yeah. Really, literally. Put in a, like, workers' comp claim for his balls

because boss was breaking them. Boss was breaking my balls. Also, the copier guy should do something porny. You know, make a porno move. Yeah. Oh, really? Well, the visitor to the office in any dick situation. The copy guy is the pizza guy in that scenario.

I'm picking up what you're laying down. Yeah. Or like a flower delivery guy in an office. Who delivers picking up what you're laying down. Or like a flower delivery guy in an office. Who delivers stuff to office? Couriers. They're not the pizza guy. They're stinky. Couriers are the stinky. Who? Pizza guys are stinky?

No. Couriers. Like bike couriers. I saw a couple bike couriers making out the other week. Really? Yeah. I guess that works, right? You've got that in common. Sure. You like having face piercings together. Don't dip the pen in the company.

Face piercing. I used to work downtown, and there was, I forget what building it is. I think it's the Hong Kong Bank building, and they all hang out outside there. Across from the art gallery? Yeah. Yeah. I hear there's some Degas at the art gallery. You can go see right now.

I don't believe so. Okay. You like women? You like drawings of women? Hey, hey. I want you to stand outside in the trench coat. Hey, hey. You like drawings of women?

Hey, hey. Or I should be seeing people as they come out of the art gallery and you should see my sketchings. My sketchings. You like this one? It's boobies. I know, it looks like a pair of boobies. You might be surprised.

Before this, women weren't seen this way. Yeah, a pair of boobs weren't drawn on a piece of cardboard. Do you know that this month's Playboy has no undercarriage? It's a true fact. All right, the last one comes from Scott F. Scott F. says, I need to preface this story by saying, I'm a dork. The, you just received

a text sound on my phone is the sound of the TARDIS from Doctor Who. Am I pronouncing that right? I think so, yeah. Okay. So, every time... Local nerd. Go-to nerd. So, every time I receive a text, it sounds like the TARDIS is landing.

It's a great unique ringtone that also helps me identify other dorks. If people look up and smile when they hear it, you know you're in good company. Anyway. You know you're not getting laid. Today I received absolutely the best reaction to this sound effect I have ever seen or heard. I work at a used bookstore, and as I squatted down to reach the bottom shelf, I received a text. A little boy next to me, who was maybe five or six, saw me bend down, heard the sound coming out of my pants, gasped, and with a wide-eyed expression, I'll never forget, asked,

Are you a robot? That's pretty good. Darnest. Yeah, kids do. Well, that's delightful. TARDIS? Is that the elevator thing? No. I don't know.

Oh, God. Now I've really stepped in it. Phone booth is what they travel around in. Elevator is nothing. No, that's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You think Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. No, that's a fun one, too. No, yeah.

Doctor Who travels around in a time phone booth. Fine. Time booth? Yeah, I'm not... Starring Cole. I've never watched any Doctor Who. Abby liked the most recent season, but I don't know nothing about... No, I don't either.

I like the scarf. I like the idea of a really big scarf like that. You know what I'm talking about? Doctor Who's giant scarf? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were using the verb form of scarf. Like, I really like to scarf. Yeah, yeah.

I really like to eat. Do you want to know why I like to scarf? I used to have an eating disorder. Yeah, you used to have an eating disorder. Now I just scarf whatever I want. Piscatis, whatever. The Doctor Who, the last two Doctor Whos have been handsome men. But I remember, like, I've never watched it,

but I remember there being old, like, curly-haired pudgy dudes. That was the guy with the giant scarf, I think. The guy with the big curly hair. Do they not all have scarves? I don't know. I don't know anything. I don't even know what a TARDIS is. No, I don't either.

Okay, well, let's move on. Oh, oh, don't anyone write us about this. We don't care. Disclaimer. But if you don Don't anyone write us about this. We don't care. Disclaimer. But if you don't want to write us about that, you should write us with your overheard. Write us at StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. And if you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Like these people have.

But don't take my word for it. Ba-dum-bum-bum. Hi, guys. This is Amy from Madison, Wisconsin. I'm calling in an overheard. I want to apologize up front for the slightly blue nature, but I think it's well worth it. So I was at a bar in town, and I walk into the ladies' room,

and there's two women standing there, and one woman says to the other in, like, a sing-songy voice, like this is a saying, she said, you don't do it good if you don't do it vaginally like you should. And then I had to go in the cell, so I was unable to hear anything else that pertained to the conversation. What else could it be? What is it? You don't do it good if you don't do it vaginally like you should. Yeah. I think she meant you don't do it well.

Yeah. If you don't do it vaginally in hell. I don't know. No. I'm confused. I mean, there's a lot of things you could be doing wrong that you should be doing vaginally. Giving birth, for example. Right.

Best done vaginally. Am I right? example. Right. Best done vaginally. Am I right? Yeah. C-sections are pretty good too. That's true. Maybe that's what the conversation was about. Yeah, let's hope.

Yeah. Any thoughts? Any thoughts? As the resident lady, well, I hope she knows that there's a different hole for P's and for sexes.

Okay. Because she was in the bathroom. She was in the bathroom, right. That's true. Some women don't know. You'd be surprised. Yeah, you do it urethrally. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So then that quotation would apply. Okay, well, I'm sorry. We played that one. That was kind of blue. Yeah. Well, she apologized. Yeah. That's true. blue. Yeah. Well, she apologized. Yeah.

That's true. God bless her. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Jim from Reno, Nevada, United States of America. Anyway, I'm just calling because I haven't overheard. And I am a mail carrier here. That might be a post carrier in Canada. Nope.

Not sure how that all works. Anyway, so I was delivering one day when I heard over my shoulder, hey, look, them dogs is fucking. And I looked, and surely enough, them dogs were fucking. And the gentleman certainly seemed very excited about it, as he pointed out to his friend. And, well, we all watched them dogs fuck for a minute. Them dogs. Them's were the salad.

These are all kind of blue, I think. Yeah, that one's probably, if you're a mail carrier, Them dogs. Them's were the salad days. These are all kind of blue, I think. Yeah, that one's probably if you're a mail carrier, there's a lot of dog talk. I don't know what mail carriers are. I only know about post carriers. Right? Sure. They are called something different up here, aren't they?

No. Are they called Canada Post employees or something? No. Canada Posties? It was always mailman for me. And then mail carrier. Then ladies got in on it and now it became mail carriers? No. Canada Posties? It was always mailman for me. And then mail carrier. Then ladies got in on it and it became mail carrier. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that there's paintings of the original women carrying mail.

This one, I don't remember the call. I just labeled it that it might be fake or that it is a very good story a dad would tell you. Oh, okay. That kind of humor. Dad humor. Got it.

That's nacho cheese. Hey, Dave, Graham. I just got done listening to last week's episode with my buddy Brad called in with his overheard, and so here's mine. I'm Brian from South Carolina. So here's mine. I'm Brian from South Carolina. When I was like a freshman or sophomore at college,

I was heading home through the back country of Tennessee mountains, and I stopped to get gas. And it's one of the kind of places that didn't have credit card machines on the pump. So I went inside to pay, and the gentleman behind the counter looked at me, and I was attending military college. So I had a very short haircut. And he said, when'd you serve? And I

leaned forward and I said, excuse me? He goes, in the service. When'd you serve? And he pointed at my chest, and I looked down, and I was wearing an old Navy t-shirt. Oh, I get it. Is that fake? It could be. But no, I mean, you know,

who knows? Tennessee Mountain? Is that what he said it was? Who knows? Isn't that the Blue Ridge Mountains? Is that the mountains in Tennesseeennessee the blue ridge i don't know i'm gonna go ahead and say no i don't know okay here's my guess appalachians is the appalachian i bet you the credit card thing is the old timey where you swipe it over the carbon paper please call us back and let us know about that yeah yeah because if they didn't have the swipers at the thing i bet you they didn't have the swipers at the thing, I bet you they didn't have any swipers at all. Yeah, they had to call your bank. Ka-chunk, ka-chunk.

Pretty good. So yeah, if you want to call, this is 206-339-8328. Have you ever used a ka-chunk, ka-chunk machine? In taxi cabs a lot. Oh, really? Yeah. Not here, but like... Not too long ago, at a flea market. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sure I have, but like very, very rarely. And I've had a credit card for 12 years. They mail stuff in. They send them to Visa. Visa goes, here's your cash. Comes in a bag with a dollar sign on it. Yeah. Yes.

A robber with a cat mask. A reverse robber. Yeah, sure. I was thinking of those as pigs because of the cartoon The Raccoons. Ah, yes. Good call. Or as it's known in America, DuckTales. Woo!

Where are we at? Do we want to do the quitting stories? There's a couple good ones that people sent in. We had a couple calls. Do you have one? the quitting stories? There's a couple good ones that people sent in. We had a couple calls. Do you have one? A quitting story? I do have one. Okay.

Well, let's do it. Let's take a quick break. Okay. Welcome back. Last week, with guest Darcy Michael, we discussed the hilarity that was that gentleman who quit his job on an airline. Something Slater. Yeah, that's right. Who decided to steal.

Albert Clifford. He had a wrestling competition he had to attend. He realized it was more important than his plane work. Sure. But yeah, he stole a couple of beers, flew out the emergency slide, and we just thought it was so great. And then we asked.

Did he steal the beers? He's entitled. Yeah. Well, he might have left a huge tip because he knows he's in the service industry. He knows how important tipping is. Yeah. I always tip my stewardesses. Yeah.

Skycaps. And then we asked listeners, bumpers, to send in their stories that they knew of friends who had quit in some kind of spectacular fashion or just some kind of out of the ordinary fashion. We got emails and phone calls. We got phone calls. And, Caitlin, you have one that you said? Yeah, totally. Should we start off? We'll start off with Caitlin. Why not?

Sure. She's here. Yeah, let's do it uh well as has previously come up in uh conversations on this show with me i grew up in a small town and uh amazing thing enterprise idaho yes enterprise idaho uh short hop across the border from vulcan alberta um in fernie britie, British Columbia. And being a small town, 5,000 people, when stuff happens, you hear about it immediately. So there was a guy who worked at a gas station in my town when I was in high school.

And he was, I think, at the time, I felt like he was old, but he was probably 19. Yeah, he's sure. Gross. And I think he had not finished high school. He was kind of a burnout. You know, your typical small town winner. gross and uh i think he had not finished high school he was kind of a burnout you know your typical small town winner and uh he quit his job at the gas station by like just knocking over a

bunch of shelves in the like convenience store part of the gas station and then took off so then we all heard about this it was a big thing like oh my god he he knocked over all these chips but that's not the whole story because so we're all talking about it at school the next day and then we hear a siren now you hear a siren in most places you're like oh a siren yeah but in fernie it meant like you probably know somebody that something is happening to right so we're like oh i wonder what that siren is about then word starts to spread that this guy who quit his job at the gas station for still unknown reasons uh i don't know the man got him down or something uh came back the next day in the same

clothes but wearing a balaclava style too and tried to rob the place with his name tag on his shirt pretty much i mean like walked in and used the boss's first name like henry gave me the money in the thing because he just hadn't had enough by knocking over the chips he needed to come back and try and get money but that wasn't true or you don't know no it's

as far as I know true it was in the paper it's a big thing because like you know robberies like that just didn't happen that was his way of getting his vacation pay. Exactly. Or his Just Desserts. Was the place called Just Desserts?

Yes, it was a gas. Just Desserts and gas. It was the cake gas. It should be just called Not Just Desserts, because we also have gasoline. Gas is dessert for your car don't think about it too much i would say that dessert for your car is windshield wiper fluid uh or carnauba wax yeah oh yeah that's true all right good i fixed it uh well done well done um so we got some that uh were emailed in there's one that was just it was like it was like

homer's odyssey it was so long uh but it was from uh courtney d and in summary basically she worked at a um at a store that was across the street from a university that had everything you know had one of this one of that one of the other. Yeah. And somebody came in regularly and would hide stuff in a closet that they, you know, like, I guess they did holds, you know, indefinitely. If you wanted something, you put it on hold. This person was hiding stuff. And at one point, this employee found the things and put them back out on the floor because there was no, nobody asked for holds and there was a bit of a miscommunication. Anyways, this person called the owner and the owner just sold out the employee and said,

ah, it was all the employee's fault. And so when the owner said, you know, we're going to, you're fired, this person just said, no, I'm not. And the person, the boss said, excuse me. And she said, I'm not fucking fired. I did exactly what you told me to do. And I just like that approach, first of all. No, I'm not. I'm not fired.

And so. How so? Yeah, how so? Explain. Anyways, she knew she had a job waiting for her at another place, so that's why she took the stand of the, you can't fire me, I quit, but I'm not fired, so it never even happened.

Anyways, that's the summary of that story. If I told you the whole story, we would be here till tomorrow-ish. And we've all got lives, right? We've got things to do. I've got gas stations to buy cake at. I've got cars to treat to a Canuba Wax. I want to go for a dessert.

Like a cool treat? More like just cakes. Let's go for some cakes. That's a thing that you can do in a lot of places. Like in a lot of countries, you just go for a cake. You can go here. What do you mean a lot of places? There are dessert places here places there are here too

yeah but would you just go out for cake yeah sure what are we the golden girls Earl Grey British accent I'm not the bad guy no you're not well who is is it me

no he's not the bad guy. No, you're not. Well, who is? Is it me? It's me, isn't it? It's Jonathan Picard. No, he's not the bad guy. This is from Will P. Oh, yeah, Will P. A friend of mine has a history of coming up with bad ways of quitting jobs. For my 18th birthday surprise dinner party type thing, he left his job at a nearby restaurant during the middle of his shift to join the festivities. And more recently, he quit from a movie theater

by telling another friend he works with to tell their manager that he was putting in his two weeks notice. He was scheduled to go in, but didn't show up. The thing about two weeks notice is that this guy didn't understand is that you still have to show up for work for those two weeks. So he's just like, two weeks notice is that this guy didn't understand is that you still have to show up for work for those two weeks. So he's just like, two weeks notice, I'm out of here. And then he doesn't work the shifts. It's just an expression, right?

Yeah. Two weeks notice, you've been served. It's the notice that you're going to tell him you're quitting. So you say, I'm going to quit in two weeks and you don't come back. And then two weeks from then you say, I quit yeah you remember two weeks ago remember i knew people who worked i've officially quit now i know people who worked at a movie theater and when they quit um like they'd give their two weeks notice and they were garbage bag full of popcorn well no they would get uh everyone would beat the shit out of them and pour butter on them

and cover them in the stuff you sprinkle on the popcorn. Everyone who left that place had some... Had to be reversed- Third-degree burns. Yeah, reverse-initiated. To get out of the job. Yeah.

Wow. I'm trying to think... Covered in popcorn cheddar. I feel like I was at a house party at one point when somebody showed up with a bunch of stuff and I was like, what was the occasion? It was that they had quit and just looted on their way out. Oh, yeah. Bags of chips and stuff like that.

Yeah. You should start looting like a month before you leave. Early and stuff like that. You should start looting a month before you leave. Early and often. Yeah, so it doesn't seem weird when you take a hundred pens with you. Even not that many pens. It's enough, though. It's enough, right?

To set some sort of record for how many times you write your name at one time. They have them all together. On a stick. See if you can fit them all in your mouth. Elizabeth R. wrote in, I really hope that this isn't an urban legend. It was given to me as fact and I didn't find anything when I Googled it. So she's done her due diligence. Fine.

But who did you hear it from? A friend of a friend of a cousin of a friend? Yeah. The old Navy guy. Yeah. I had a coworker who got internally transferred to division within the company that had a notoriously bad supervisor. He immediately quit. The supervisor asked if he was going to give any notice, and the quitter replied,

Yeah, look out in the parking lot in a few minutes and you'll notice my car is gone. I hope this really actually happened. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah, that's a pretty good line. But the shroud of unbelievability. Has been cast. Yeah, it hangs over.

It hangs heavy and looms large. And it's got nosy ears. That's why you never ask permission you just beg forgiveness yeah right yeah that's the oh that's telling stories and then you go maybe it's stolen maybe it's not i'm gonna talk to the one in the tights yeah circling circling this is uh and this the last one comes from uh timothy s uh when my best friend roommate and i were a couple years younger we both worked at the same restaurant in L.A. as chefs. My friend didn't get along very well with the owner, but I couldn't afford to be on the owner's bad side, so he and I got along fine.

One day the owner came into the restaurant and said something to my friend that really made him mad. My friend told me that he was going to discuss our employment with the owner and pulled me into the owner's office. Bad position to be. Yeah. Now you're, what side are you going to go with? After two sentences of arguing, my friend loudly announced, Tim and I quit. Oh, no.

While simultaneously taking his apron, balling up, and throwing it on the floor, along with his hairnet, and subsequently walking out of the restaurant. After a few moments, the owner gestures towards the door with his head as if to say, aren't you leaving too? So I took off my hairnet and apron, neatly folded it up, and then placed it on the owner's desk before leaving. After that, I had to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for almost a month, but at least my friend felt really bad for quitting my job for me.

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's what friends do for each other. Destroy your friend's future. I would have said, I don't quit. Yeah. I sell people out all the time. Yeah.

David's going to be the worst accomplice in any sort of murder. Sure. Or any kind of crime. Yeah. What were you going to sell me out for? It was off crime. Yeah. What were you going to sell me out for? It was off air. Oh. You were just going to sell me out. Just in general.

Okay, we have a couple that have been called in. And are you ready for them? Yep. Hey, guys. This is Dave from Ohio. I have a quitting story. When I was 17, I was just getting ready to start a summer job at a deli. But just before I

started, like the week before, I backed up into a car. And instead of going through insurance, I just had to go with them and agreed to pay $500 damage. But basically, I worked the whole summer just to pay that. So it was really depressing, um, to work there. Um, and I remember after I paid off, uh, you know, the $500 I owed them, I just couldn't bring myself to go into work anymore at the deli. Um, but I was, uh, kind of nervous about quitting. So I remember I just called up, um, uh, one night, like really late when I know the store was closed and I wanted to quit, but I didn't know what to say. I just called up one night, like really late when I know the store is closed.

And I wanted to quit, but I didn't know what to say. So I remember just hearing myself say, I'm not coming in tomorrow or ever. And then I hung up. But all right. Bye. That's also a good way to break up with somebody. Yes. We're not going out tonight

Or ever again I haven't heard of someone quitting on an answering machine That's pretty good That is pretty good It is He sounded really sweet too Like if I was his boss and he quit I'd be like aww

Yeah You do quit Who's gonna You do quit Who's gonna slice all this salami Yeah Would be the follow-up question right all right another hello gentlemen i have an almost great quitting story this is brian from new jersey

um i was quitting a job last october or so and i was trying to think i mean for months i was plotting what i was going to say to my boss as i was quitting and i had all these different things but all of them seem really melodramatic or really vulgar. And I just thought, well, I want to think with simplicity. And I decided to say, because you're a bad person. And the whole time I walk into the office and I hand him my letter, and on the tip of my tongue, I'm waiting for him to ask me, why are you quitting? And I was going to say, because you're a bad person.

And he said, why are you quitting? And I was going to say, because you're a bad person. And he said, why are you quitting? And then I was about to start. He goes, you know what? You wrote a letter. I'll read the letter. Go on home. And I didn't get a chance to say it. And I really wanted to just blurt out, you're a bad person, and walk away.

But I felt that was inappropriate. So yeah, that's my almost great story. Bye. That's not that great. That is pretty good, though. But it's not that great of a, you're a bad person. Then what? Yeah.

Am I? You don't know me as a full person. Yeah, I volunteer for UNICEF. Yeah. Then you're like, and then you go at him with the letter opener. Now who's a bad person? You're a dead person. You're a dead person.

Which is the worst kind of person. The only good human, though. Is the dead human? Yeah. What are you, the Punisher? No, I'm the apes. Oh, right. I'm the apes. On the planet? Those apes? Of them? Yeah, I got it.

Alright, let's wrap this. Thank you, everybody, for sending in your quitting stories. If you do want to get in touch with us, it's stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. Now, as we said at the top of the show, Caitlin and her very funny sketch partner. Am I right? It's Nicole and you. Is it improv? Improv. Yeah, it's improv. Are we doing improv? We're doing improv. My right? It's Nicole and you. Is it improv? Improv.

Yeah, it's improv. We're doing improv. My apologies. You're going to Austin, Texas. You're part of the, what is the name of the festival? Out of Bounds Comedy Festival. Out of Bounds.

And what are the dates? If people are in Austin, Texas and they want to check you out, where do they go? Well, the dates of the whole festival are September 1st to 6th. It's the whole week before Laborember first to sixth it's the whole week before labor day uh and the festival's headlined by kevin mcdonald from kids in the hall

so if you're interested in that um he's doing some sketch and stuff but we are doing um two shows two improv shows uh ps we're one of two groups from canada the other is toronto and they only got one show so suck at toronto suck at Suck it, Toronto. No, I love Toronto. I love those people. They're great. We have two shows. One is Thursday, September 2nd at the Salvage Vanguard Theatre at 9.30 p.m. Okay.

Salvage Vanguard. I bet it's an old wrecking yard. I hope so. Converted into a theatre. I hope so. All the seats are going to be from automobiles. Yes. And we have to uh run from the junkyard dog every 10 minutes and climb the fence i can stand by me uh sick balls yeah sick balls

chopper sick balls and uh the other show is on saturday september 4th at the cold town theater and we're on at five because it's like this crazy long night of... 5 in the morning? No, 5 p.m. Oh, I see. We're at the beginning of, thank God, a marathon of improv shows. This is the Sick Balls Festival in Austin, Texas. Sick Balls Festival. The Out of Bounds Comedy Festival.

If you Google that, Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, there's ticket information online. What is this Google? Come down. What is this Google of which you speak? And yeah, seriously, people in Austin Austin Tejas,

if you want to see some great improv comedy, and why wouldn't you? With ladies. All ladies. You want to see ladies? What? My all-lady improv. Okay, I thought the whole festival was all ladies for a second. No, for one brief second.

The Lilith Fair of improv festivals. No, but I hope someone draws a picture of us and says, you haven't seen all ladies doing this before now. It's like, it's back to your Degas joke. It's called a callback, Dave. Quite a callback. It's been called back. Degas mostly did ballerinas.

Dave, do we have anything? Do you have anything? Well, you and I will be at Bumbershoot. Oh, will we? Yeah, on the 4th at, I want to say, 115? Yeah, come by. At the Vera Project. Yeah, if you want a sticker, we got them.

Yeah, come out and show your support. I know there's going to be a lot of big-time podcasts there. Your WTFs, your Never Not Funnies. Bob Dylan. Yeah, Bob Dylan. Yeah, Nico Case. Bob Dylan goes electric cast like a Rolling Stone cast

but we would very much like to be the podcast that has some people show up wouldn't that be great? I'm not worried about that I say get in line people buy the ticket take the ride Wouldn't that be great? I'm not worried about that. No? I say get in line, people. Yeah. Yeah.

Buy the ticket, take the ride. Yeah. In fact, we don't need you to show up to our podcast. Don't listen to him. We need you desperately. Okay. So, yeah, show up for that. And if you are not familiar with the podcast, maybe this is your first time listening, we're affiliated with Maximum Fun, which is where you can go and check out the forum, MaximumFun.org.

Also, you can find the blogs that Dave does each and every week to accompany the podcast, which I think makes the podcast at least 150 times better when you get to see the companion bit. I'm totally going to post some pictures by Dave Gough. Yeah. I hope so. You ready to see some arts? Yeah.

There was something at the beginning of the show that I knew I was going to post. Oh, definitely a picture of Frank Fontana. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I hope so. You ready to see some arts? Yeah. There was something at the beginning of the show that I knew I was going to post. Oh, definitely a picture of Frank Fontana. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. With his leather jacket. My cousin Frank. Yeah. Oh, we didn't know.

We should have touched on that. But thank you, everybody, for listening. If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. And come on back next week for an all lady version of stop podcasting yourself.