Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 20 - Conor Holler

Episode Date: July 15, 2008

Comedy renaissance man Conor Holler joins us to discuss rival podcasts, a possible sister podcast, and the Breakfast Club stunt cast.  TRANCE!...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! All right, everybody. And welcome to episode number 20. Woo! All right, everybody. Welcome to episode number 20. We made it out of the teens.
Starting point is 00:00:32 They said we wouldn't. Oh, man. They said we wouldn't make it to this day. My teens were tough. Mine were easy breezy. I was handsome and tall. And then when I got out of them, I shrunk and got ugly. tall and then when i got out of my shrunk and got ugly uh my name is graham clark and my co-host as always is the gifted and um not just at uh podcasting but at baking yeah mr dave shumka how are you i'm great i've got a plate of fresh cookies for you guys that's awesome and you're
Starting point is 00:01:01 the best drinking beer and milk at the same time. How's that working for you? Good. Is it grulsh? Yep. It tastes pretty grulsh. And our guest today is very talented. How would I say? You're an actor and a writer and a sketch guy and a producer of a show. And an improviser.
Starting point is 00:01:19 And an improviser. You do it all. Yeah, I guess I'm a jack-of-all Jack of all... A renaissance man, I guess. Like the movie with Danny DeVito, Renaissance Man. Danny DeVito was cast as a renaissance man? It was an army feel-good comedy with Marky Mark Wahlberg.
Starting point is 00:01:36 That's right, yeah. Where he taught the kids... Oh, yeah, I forgot to say the name of our guest. Connor Holler. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming on. Before we delve into Danny DeVito's illustrious film career. let's get to know us
Starting point is 00:01:47 get to know us all right first things first first things to know us uh let's get to know danny to be yeah renaissance man did you ever see it yeah to be or not to be you've seen it i haven't i know it, I think it was originally introduced, or it originally came out with a different title. Can't think of it right now. The short teacher.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Sure. The teacher. But tell us about Renaissance Man. Graham just saw Renaissance Man yesterday. I did not. And he loves it. I've seen it many, many times because it used to be,
Starting point is 00:02:29 you know when you get free Super Channel or whatever for a weekend? Yeah. But the thing about Super Channel that was always the huge fucking scam of it was you get it free for whatever it was, a week or a weekend. But they played the same shit. They had only a block of movies that they would show that month. Yeah. So then fucking Renaissance Man was like three times a day so i watched renaissance man like a whole bunch of times but you've seen it because didn't you
Starting point is 00:02:55 do a joke about setting uh historical things to hip-hop lyrics oh yeah that's in renaissance man well it's in everything though yeah but it's's specifically in Renaissance Man, where they set Shakespeare lyrics to a rap song. Yeah. And he's got to teach military. That's the big switch on it, on the teacher makes good in the classroom story. It's in the military. Right, right. And Danny DeVito's got to teach them.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Because there's a lot of teaching of poetry, etc., in the military. Because it translates really well to the battlefield. Because poetry is a battlefield. Very well put. Yeah. Thank you. Bit of poetry there. Where are you from, Connor?
Starting point is 00:03:38 I'm from right here. I live in Vancouver. Born and raised in Red? Totally. Grace Hospital. I was raised at Grace Hospital for the first 10 years of my life yeah and
Starting point is 00:03:49 grew up in West Vancouver I guess and now I live kind of around here on the east side main street that's kind of the east side I guess well it's technically barely it's the border absolutely east side, I guess. Well, it's technically east. Barely. It's the border.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Absolutely east side. Yeah. I don't know. What do you feel about people who wear, like, east side pride shirts? I feel pride. You up with that? Down with that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:15 You're into that? Yeah. Why not? Do you own one? I have a leather east side pride hat. No, you don't. Well, okay. I got it at the Kingsgate Mall.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Yeah, they were selling them. I almost bought a a t-shirt there once but then i'm like am i proud of where i just happen to be living because of where how much money i can spend on rent like is that a source of pride for me or there's a real sense of community there everyone can only afford to live in this area you know If I lived in like if there was a part of Vancouver that was like all hovering like 8 inches above the ground I'd be like I live in Hover Town.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Give me a hat. I'll wear a hat for Hover Town. I'll wear a Hover Town hat. Upper Hoverton. That sounds like a really expensive place though. You live in Upper Hoverton? Not like Lower Hoverton. That sounds like a really expensive place, though. Yeah. You live in Upper Hoverton? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Not like Lower Hoverton. All their stuff is just barely hovering off the ground. I live in East Hoverton. East Hoverton Pride. East Hoverton Pride. I don't know. You certainly don't. Things to be proud of.
Starting point is 00:05:21 It ranks low on the scale of things. But, Connor, you were born here. You grew up here. What's going on with you these days? Exciting things? Let's get to know you. Let's get to know me. Okay. We know you haven't seen Renaissance, man.
Starting point is 00:05:37 No, but I have seen Twins. I liked Danny DeVito in Twins. And he was in War of the Roses, right? Those are some classic danny devito's all right good moving on graham how was your week i kid he's awesome he's good with jokes i go i picked up on that as soon as i walked in the door made fun of my pants i did not no you didn't you said they were nice pants. I didn't say that. I do a comedy show with Craig Anderson.
Starting point is 00:06:10 He's not here. He's actually editing a video that we're showing on Tuesday. And we're called Bronx Cheer. BronxCheerComedy.com That's right. We have a website. That's a plug right there. And we have a Facebook. A Facebook called Bronx Share.
Starting point is 00:06:25 You guys have both done the show within recent memory. Yeah. It's a great show. I talk it up to everybody they talk to. Only five people. And the listeners. We've got a podcast right now. That's another five right there.
Starting point is 00:06:40 That's another five, so ten people. That's how things grow. That's how things build. We've all seen the brady bunch and how that picture diagram works yeah exactly and they tell two people they also use it in wayne's world yeah that was from uh that was from a shampoo commercial really yeah that's where that sprang from that and they tell two people and that's right i remember that yeah like from like 80s i think what is one of the decades it was one well but not 1910 right no it wasn't that it doesn't predate television or there will be blood um does that when that what was that sent 1920
Starting point is 00:07:18 ah the old time you can't have the the oil days the oil days the The oil era. Luckily, we're out of that era. All men were wearing hats in that era. It was the era when all men were wearing hats. That's the time I want to... That's why men without hats were so strange. They were the reason that people don't wear hats anymore. When men without hats came on the scene,
Starting point is 00:07:40 they really did. It was more revolution than it was a band. It was more revolution than it was a band. It was like a graduation day. People in the streets just threw their hats off, and that was it. Do you actually know why people stopped wearing hats? Or who bucked the trend originally of wearing hats, like men wearing hats? I don't.
Starting point is 00:08:01 JFK. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah, he was the first president ever to not wear a hat. That's pretty cool. Yeah, so he was like... That's why he got assassinated. Yeah, he was like the chapeau syndicate of hat wearers.
Starting point is 00:08:15 But then it never went back. People saw Kennedy, and that's when he had his hair all gelled and stuff. And then men had to have hair, and that's when he had his hair all gelled and stuff. Then men had to have hair and that's when Rogaine came in strong. He couldn't hide it under a hat anymore. Sales of those wigs with the hat built in top.
Starting point is 00:08:38 That went down as well, I imagine. A hat with hair coming out the sides. They went under big time. They were huge in 1940. That was the top selling hat. Would you wear that if you were completely bald? If you had like a long hair?
Starting point is 00:08:55 It was like hair extensions. It was like the first hair extensions. If you were powder. What's powder up to? They should remake that movie. Who would play Powder? Danny DeVito like an old Danny DeVito I was struck by life
Starting point is 00:09:16 is he Italian? Danny DeVito DeVito sounds Italian he's of Vito could be Croatian. We always call Leonardo DiCaprio Leonard of Capri. That's some weight. It's been a while since I've seen Powder.
Starting point is 00:09:38 I've never seen Powder. I know of it. Super Channel. One thing, actually, we got Super Channel. Is it still around? It wasn't. We have non-stop cable out the wazoo, and the movie channels are called Movie Central,
Starting point is 00:09:54 and there's four of them. But they recently reintroduced Super Channel. I don't know if it existed elsewhere, or if it just went away from Vancouver for a while. Wow. But, yeah yeah we got it uh and the first time i noticed it was yesterday so we have it in our in our database of channels and it's uh not good no it's never been good but at the time it was like years ago it was like your only choice for an all movie channel but that was unheard of yeah and canada never seemed i felt like we had super channel but like i remember as a kid like going
Starting point is 00:10:30 to hotels and stuff you really wouldn't get hbo that often it was always when we have super channel there's not hbo which is so much better that was like a marquee thing like that used to be if you saw a hotel that said like like it would just say like hbo yeah sign and you still see those something although those kind of hotels are not uh well that's where like it's that's all it's got like like it's got hbo no showers but i remember that super channel on friday nights would uh show adult features oh yeah yeah very nice and i remember specifically one of them was called Chaz and Vinny's Sex Adventure. That's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:11:10 And I had kind of a... Is Chaz Palminteri in it? Yeah. And Vinny Del Negro. In the San Antonio Spurs. And I believe our friend Taz and do you know jesse savath probably yeah uh they they uh a couple years ago did a apparently it was something that they shared that they both knew about taz and our chas and vinnie's sex Adventure. So they did a DJ night where they were DJing
Starting point is 00:11:46 and they called it Chaz and Jesse's Dex Adventure. That's nice. And about three people got it and loved it. Yeah, well that's how you build a fan base. Three people have to have it. That super channel a friend had it when we were kids
Starting point is 00:12:02 and you'd watch it and you wouldn't know what show was on next like what movie was coming up so you just have to like it would say like this movie is rated and it would like say whatever it was you know and like it'd be like pg-13 you're like awesome for nudity and then then you'd watch it and like you know it'd say whatever company made it and you're watching the credits you're're like, it's going to be great. And then it would be like, so and so. And Ray Dong Chong. And you're like, no!
Starting point is 00:12:30 This is going to be terrible. It would just be always one person like, and Deborah Winger. And you're like, ah, fuck. This is it. Or they would give you a warning of when there, of that there would be nudity and you would just have to play the waiting game oh man yeah and even like on on worse things than that too because i remember like super channel is one thing they actually showed boobs and stuff but like even just like regular movies
Starting point is 00:12:53 i remember being a kid and like showcase you guys remember showcase it still exists yeah okay well i haven't yeah i haven't seen in a while i I was talking about that with two people that grew up in Montreal, and they didn't have... It was like Showcase wasn't out there. And so they had something... But in Montreal, they had on Friday night, there was just porn on regular cable. So they were fine. They're the most European.
Starting point is 00:13:19 They're the most European in Canada. Yeah, they were set. But for us, he'd have to sit through a lot of Italian cinema. In retrospect, you're like, how cultured did I get? Ages 14 to 16. Do I like it? You know, I watched all these movies, and then when the nude part happened, it was very brief and often very weird. There was one about a girl that was locked away in a tower and she was having sex with vegetables.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Oh, Rapunzel. In high school, I was in French immersion. And we had to do, like, half our classes were in English, half our classes were in French. And we got to pick, like, there weren't very many what do you call them optional courses right electives electives in French so you could either do like a technical one or an artistic one and so I did the artistic one and it was split in thirds of the year one was film one was some craft thing. Anyway, for the film one, we just watched French movies. And she gave us a list at the start of the year, and the whole class got to pick what movies to watch.
Starting point is 00:14:33 And I remember everyone being like, what do you think has nudity? What's the most likely to have nudity? Which is, why would you want that in school? Not only that, why would you go... That was the crazy thing, looking back on it. You would go over to your friend's house, and you would have one friend had some sort of porn device.
Starting point is 00:14:52 It would be a magazine or a video or something. And then all of you would watch it as a group. And then just sit there awkwardly with your brand new erections. We just did that. Someone's dad has a crate of old penthouses locked away
Starting point is 00:15:08 in the basement. Or the kids that find a box of soggy porn in the woods near the high school. These guys, just like hordes of men, are left to dispose of porno. And they're like, well, I'm going to load this into the woods.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Hopefully no teenage kids will find it did you ever watch scrambled porn yes every guy not the kids now though don't have to well duh they that's the internet's got uh man to be the part of the last generation that ever watched Scramble Board. We were the greatest generation. Where's our book? Now, one thing about our friend Connor Haller is that he has guested on our rival podcast, The Exploding Sandwich. Exploding Sandwich, watch your ass. With Craig.
Starting point is 00:16:04 That's the episode I listened to that I alluded to. Oh, I've heard it. And we are not amused. We are not amused. I knew you guys were going to grill me about this. You were just biding your time. We were all chatting all nice before the show. I almost said something before, but I had to say it.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'm your guest. So what's the deal with these chumps? These two, what are they called? Devin and Devin. They're a sandwich. Yeah. Because they're both named Devin, but it's spelled differently. Do they even use a microphone or do they use an onboard mic on the computer and you all just talk?
Starting point is 00:16:37 No, they have microphones. All right. Is it as classy as our setup? Were there cookies? There wasn't cookies. Was there free beer? There was free beer, but they were cheaper. They stole that from us.
Starting point is 00:16:50 We have European beer. Yeah, what did they have? Let me guess, Pabst. Where did Pabst go? Extra Old Stock. Extra Old Stock? All right. Extra Old Stock is the poor man's Pabst.
Starting point is 00:17:01 It was fun. It was fun. But I will say that a spider descended on Craig during the podcast. I make this commitment to you. This podcast, spider free. 20 episodes. Spider free. No spiders.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Spider free. Take that exploding sandwich. Well, that's great. And since we're talking about a rival podcast, we also have decided that we would like to come up with a brother or sister podcast. I think this is going to count as a sister podcast. I think. And the first idea we came up with was a trance podcast. Because that reflects our sensibilities.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Yeah, I think it would work well in tandem with what we do. People who like this podcast also like trance music what's what is trance what's trance music it's uh uh trancy it's music okay the way that i can best define trance music is it's music from the heart first and foremost and it's music that you can't possibly enjoy not high yeah like it's okay like you know like there's some things that you're like oh this is way better high that's it's unlistenable not high like if you you have to be high and then even then it's kind of like questionable right um i imagine it is like uh so repetitive you go into a trance, and then there's spaceship noises.
Starting point is 00:18:27 There's a lot of spaceship noises. So the name of the podcast that we want to be our sister podcast. Yeah, we just looked up trance podcast on iTunes, and the first thing that came up. First and best, I think. Yeah. I like the sound of it. Is a state of trance official podcast hope it uh hosted by
Starting point is 00:18:47 armin van buren will you be able to put like a little clip of just him saying or is that can break podcast laws i don't think it breaks podcast laws let's listen to a little clip I'll see you next time. podcast hey this is armin van buren back with a new podcast first track on this episode is a biggie made by mike under his deep flexion guys so i think that was probably pretty uh that's indicative of probably what goes on during the whole podcast there's so much anticipation in trance music oh yeah the whole music is just anticipating the moment when the beat drops it's yeah because it will it'll it'll get to that point where it goes it's like a horror and then yeah like but i i like to picture that at a trance dance yeah that everybody would just stop at that moment and wait and then when it goes everybody goes back to dancing it's like new year's party party party party 10 second delay let's do the second half
Starting point is 00:20:08 of every trance song is auld lang syne uh so pretty good so dave let's get to know you what's going on with you uh yeah what did happen to me this week? You played soccer. I played soccer the other night with the uncompetitive Jane Stanton. That's not true. Was she competitive? I called her before soccer and told her to lay off. Tone it down. Well, I don't think we should talk about her. I don't think she likes to be talked about on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:20:41 I disagree. She often commends me. She loves it. No, how was it? It was fun. Did you win? Does anybody ever really win in soccer? Well, it's co-op soccer.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Co-op? No, you said co-ed last week. Yeah, it's co-ed, but it's also very cooperative. Yeah, cooperation. Yeah, we all pool our our skill um you know it was fun because i played basketball a couple times and then that sort of fell apart people stopped organizing it um it's gonna happen with the soccer too no apparently it's been going strong every Thursday Oh, because, you know why? Because comedians aren't in charge of organizing it That's why
Starting point is 00:21:27 What did you say? Where do you play? I've only played once So I hesitate to say Do I play? Well, I played when I was a kid Me too, terribly We played, it's at Douglas Park
Starting point is 00:21:42 On 22nd and Cambie Or just west of Cambie. Westside. Yeah, Westside Pride. They don't wear shirts on the west side, do they? No, but they have lots of, what do you call it, block parties. Yeah, sure. Lots of block parties.
Starting point is 00:21:58 But I, yeah, I didn't play basketball much as a kid, or I did, but I was always really bad. Yeah. And I was decent at soccer, and I was one of the better players this past week. Nice. Although I'm ridiculously out of shape and felt like throwing up a few times. Yeah. Well, you were also drinking beforehand, if I recall correctly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Well, I had a beer. Oh, you just had one. That's right. Yeah. That was the day of going lightly. You were under the weather, and I was about to the weather and gerald was gung-ho yeah gerald just took it to the he it if nothing else he was on team drinking the whole time he was like he was taken to the it's a big team they're usually they're not that organized no they're not that organized but they often win somehow there's
Starting point is 00:22:44 there's i wouldn't want to go up against them but uh i played with i don't know most of the people i played with but i think uh they are hipsters now i have so much trouble defining what a hipster is because i you are a hipster are you a hipster i'm not a hipster no one thinks that they're a hipster well what that's the conundrum that is the conundrum you're a hipster no not really no one hipsters are hated like everyone it's a label everyone i know it's a label man don't fix me in it's like oh i hate hipsters and then you look at them and they've got skinny jeans look at how roomy my jeans are well my jeans aren't too tight. These are reasonable.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Oh, get out of here. Look at this. I could fit your leg and my leg in this pair of jeans. You're just like an early 90s hipster. No, just today, though. You're like an early 40s hipster. Yeah, early 40s hipster. A flapper.
Starting point is 00:23:40 You're an old flapper. I was actually thinking, because I was playing soccer, I was actually thinking, because I was playing soccer, that the ultimate definition of whether or not you are a hipster is when you play sports, do you wear something ironic or retro? You were wearing something ironic. How so? Well, that shirt was retro, and it had a soccer ball on it. But I bought it new from the adidas corporation
Starting point is 00:24:07 but it looked it was old and faded well i can't own clothes for a long time i'm talking about what you would wear you would wear short shorts and long socks and uh okay i don't own any long socks. I would wear short shorts because they're easier to run in. And headbands and wristbands. I wear a headband. Get the sweat out of your eyes. That's utilitarian. Rainbow suspenders. Has that made the list of hipsters?
Starting point is 00:24:41 If I wore a pair of rainbow suspenders with that, would I be breaking the ground? I don't know. Look at all of hipsters if i wore a pair of rainbow suspenders with that would i be breaking to the ground i don't know look at all these hipsters rainbow suspenders but my i uh i have i think on stage at your show once i at connor's show i asked the audience if anyone didn't think they were a hipster because they all look like hipsters yeah Yeah. But my point... Yeah, your show has a lot of hipsters in the audience, right? It does, yeah. Well, it's like... Again, like, it's just a label, man. So it's just like, I guess, like a lot of our friends are, I guess, hip people.
Starting point is 00:25:16 They all kind of dress similar. Art school haircuts. Yeah, there's a lot of art schools. Scarves with a t-shirt. Yeah. Scarves. That's a dead giveaway right there but that is a conundrum is it hot out is it cold out what's going on there yeah well that's your sometimes they're
Starting point is 00:25:31 wearing the scarf uh that looks like there might be a sandstorm yeah speaking of sandstorms my vote for best trend song of this of this, that came out in what? 2000? 2000 or 99. That was like the liquid era of trance dancing. When everyone was doing liquid dance moves. What is a liquid dance move? It's where you contort
Starting point is 00:25:57 your body and make it, it's like popping and locking. Yeah. I like the strobe popping and locking. Oh, yeah. That's a good trance. So I don't think we determined I like the strobe popping and locking. That's a good trend. So I don't think we determined who's a hipster. But I don't think... Okay, well what is...
Starting point is 00:26:12 What is not a hipster? Unfashionable. So if you see somebody... My sister's very fashionable, but I wouldn't call her a hipster. But I feel like the definition a hipster but she but the i i feel like the definition of hipster would just be someone that's hip you know like it's it maybe it's like it's a label that's taken on some negative connotations because some people
Starting point is 00:26:33 use it in that context but what if there's like okay you know like the there's people wear jackets like that they're that 80s style jacket that has like... The members only jacket? Yeah, the members only jacket. But there's like guys that were around for the first pass of members only jackets. And if you saw him, would you be like, that guy's a hipster? These old farts walking around in members only jackets. It's that guy. So if I was wearing my eight ball jacket, would I be a hipster? You know what's weird? So if I was wearing my eight ball jacket, would I be a hipster?
Starting point is 00:27:04 You know what's weird? Here's the thing that I completely just remember right now. In New York City, when I was there, there was an overabundance of those eight ball jackets. Like, I think Ben Mills and I saw about five of them. What borough were you in? We saw them in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Brooklyn is the hipster borough. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:27:25 According to the Grand Theft Auto radio station. But they were on a variety of people. Like, they weren't on just one, like, oh, that's like a thing that that group of people is wearing. It was on quite a variety of people. And they didn't look like they were jackets that were holdovers. They looked like new eight-ball jackets. Oh, cool. And I was like, is that coming back? It's like new eight ball jackets oh cool and i was like is that is that coming back it's like a new york thing everyone in new york is wearing eight ball jackets
Starting point is 00:27:50 like they're ahead so yeah the rest of the country is going to catch up yeah so like next year get ready for the tide to be all eight ball jackets you're coming into some pretty hot action dave all right um but my point is that uh basically no one considers themselves a hipster and so it clouds the judgment of who like it clouds who actually was that the same thing when like grunge was popular like nobody was grunge this is just the way we dress yeah and it's the music we listen to which also happens to be classifiable because we're all dressed the same and listening to the same music. Well, it's in the late 90s. Everyone was dressing more like hip-hop, like really baggy clothes kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:28:32 It just didn't have a label, you know? No one was calling those guys hipsters. Everybody was calling it hippity-hoppity. I think that's what they were calling it. Yeah, okay. So there are no hipsters, but there are hipsters, but they don't know they're hipsters. Oh, yeah, okay. So there are no hipsters, but there are hipsters, but they don't know they're hipsters.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Yeah, but my friend once told me she had a dream that I would consider my friend a hipster. And she had a dream that I was with her, and I was going to a party, and I had brought a pizza. And that would be considered uncool. That is a faux pas in hipster world. Yeah. I disagree. If you showed up at a party with a fucking pizza, you would be the hippest fucking guy in the room. Jeff Spicoli, man.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Worked for him, right? You show up with an extra large pizza, and you're like, everybody jump in. Everybody be like, this guy's the best guy. Yeah, it's Mr. Pepperoni. I'm Mr. Pepperoni. What about a big gulp? Big gulps?
Starting point is 00:29:23 Is that ever cool to walk around, show up to a party with a huge, super big gulp? Are you sharing? Has it ever been uncool? Would you share? Would anyone want any? Just come in with a big gulp with like 20 straws in it. Like community. Hop in.
Starting point is 00:29:39 So that's what happened to me. I played soccer. That's all right. For myself, I've spent the entire day showing my parents around the city oh they're in town this weekend why aren't they here my mom said she wanted to be a guest and i was like i already have a guest today but she would have been an awesome guest my overheard today is actually courtesy of my mom you know who's already had their parents as guests on their podcast exploding Exploding Sandwich? Down with them.
Starting point is 00:30:05 I was going to say Armin Van Buren. Mr. and Mrs. Van Buren. When are you going to get the job, Armin? They don't like the trance. The thing about, you guys don't know because you guys are born and raised in this city
Starting point is 00:30:27 but when you have parents that come to this city it is impossible to do anything because there's nothing to do like they're like
Starting point is 00:30:36 I'm like what do you guys want to do and they're like I don't know just see the sights I'm like there is
Starting point is 00:30:40 like you go to the steam clock and you're like that's it's powered by steam I took him to Gran Steam clock and you're like, that's, it's powered by Steam. I took him to Granville Island and that was, I don't know. I never, like, do you ever go down to Granville Island?
Starting point is 00:30:57 Oh, I did some stuff because, like, VTSL and stuff is down there. So I'll do, like, a show down there. Vancouver. But I never go down there and just, and I guess I had, you know, had some friends at Emily Carr. So sometimes. Sometimes. Would be your answer. But never for... I'm not going down there to listen to the guy who's playing the lute on the back wharf.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Oh, man, we got... Yeah, we got... Is he always on the back wharf? I think so. He's always playing Kill Bill, too. It's the only song he knows. Is that like Sandstorm? I requested it, but he only knew classic trance.
Starting point is 00:31:24 That would be really hard to play on the loot yeah but the one thing i said like the birds down there are like super aggressive like super aggressive and i saw a seagull the seagull is fucking stalking this one guy like flying like right behind his head and the guy didn't notice at all and then when the guy turned the seagull just like swooped down at his plate and knocked it out of his hand and then all his seagull friends were like get it but it was awesome i've never seen a bird just like boom knock it right it was great his nature taking over well now it's on now it's us against the birds you know who's gonna win that war the birds no us we got guns yeah there we go i know
Starting point is 00:32:07 but if they're flying really low we might accidentally shoot a tourist oh that's gonna happen once in a while but uh there are casualties in every war yeah exactly we gotta get rid of these acceptable losses what do birds do right like what's their fucking role in the whole thing like i know what humans do i know what spiders do right i know like what's their fucking role in the whole thing like i know what humans do i know what spiders do right i know like what fish spiders do spiders eat insects they're gross okay right oh that's a point for there might be some sort of like worm infestation we can't have that on our hands okay all right so birds can stay but what about seagulls what do they do abby's parents always well i guess abby's dad always calls seagulls shithawks shithawks nice yeah i like uh i like for pigeons or seagulls uh
Starting point is 00:32:54 chattering disease bags they're yeah pigeons are terrible too they're i think they're worse than seagulls really what would you say you don't think they're worse than seagulls. Really? What would you say? You don't think they're worse than seagulls? They're kind of like rats. Yeah, they are like rats, but pigeons are quiet. Whereas seagulls are like, look at me! I'm a disgusting thing! Do seagulls
Starting point is 00:33:18 only exist at the... Do you have any in Calgary? Yeah, the dump. Okay. Seagulls made it that Calgary? Yeah, the dump. Okay. Seagulls made it that far inland. Yeah, they hang out anywhere there's garbage. They can do it. They don't need to be by water.
Starting point is 00:33:35 They just need to be by garbage. Garbage gulls. The guy who named seagulls was like, I want to call them dump gull garbage gull shithawks is already taken yeah I don't know why seagull because like I know they're by the sea but that's like that's not the only
Starting point is 00:33:56 place yeah they're in Calgary pigeons do pigeons are everywhere where should I take my parents tomorrow like Granville Island, we hit it. Don't take gas down. This is not going to happen. What about the Ewok Village?
Starting point is 00:34:12 What, Capilano? Yeah. It's like 80 bucks. I went there. I've done it. Have you done it? No. Have you done it?
Starting point is 00:34:18 No. Oh, man. It's from your neighborhood. Yeah, buddy. I've been to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. That's something. Yeah, but that's the Ewok thing out there like the walk them on the top of the trees then you just walk back and you're like let's go let's get out of here it's only been there the last couple of years oh really yeah uh i did it last year because it went there just like
Starting point is 00:34:40 i don't know because i've been here long enough that i'm like well i should go see if it's as awesome as the posters say uh like i mean it's a bridge it's really high up that's pretty good you could take your parents to the gross grind stanley park too oh yeah that's the thing about like here is like people come here and they're like what do you want to do and like it always means exercise like there's nothing you can do that's just like oh let's go see an awesome player i mean are there plays on right now i don't know probably on grandpa island no there wasn't i didn't see any plays being advertised down there but surely there's like runs like like uh but not that like vancouver's like vancouver's famous theater district no like that's yeah if you were in like you know toronto or something you go know, Toronto or something, you'd go down to the theater districts.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Like, dude, you could go down to districts. That's what's kind of fun about other cities. But like here, it's like, I don't know. Eastside Pride. Take them to Hoverton. Upper Hoverton. Upper Hoverton. They got nice shops.
Starting point is 00:35:40 It's not good on a windy day to live in Upper Hoverton. Because the whole area moves like... It's a beck and call of the Chinooks. It moves like half a kilometer up the hill. Oh, Christ. You're grounded. Et cetera. Et cetera.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Do you want to move along? Do you want to do some overheards? I want to come up with something for your parents to do tomorrow. Oh, okay. What do they do? Go to a baseball game at the Nat. It's not open yet. I'm pretty excited about that.
Starting point is 00:36:10 It's the 17th. Of June? June is the first match, yeah. Oh, baseball match. The first baseball match. Classic matchup. I've never been to a baseball game before in my life. Oh, you should go.
Starting point is 00:36:23 I know. This summer, I've actually been talking about it I'm really excited to go it's really fun you drink beers and eat snow cones and just sit in the sun it's phenomenal especially those games you can just root for whatever team's winning
Starting point is 00:36:38 it doesn't matter nobody's invested in it at all no pride at all well nobody there does I bet you nobody knows what our team's name is the canadians i think most people do know i think you know i know that too actually do you i do i actually have i have a vancouver canadians baseball jacket it's kind of my only jacket right now so wow uh i remember last time i went to a game last time i went to a game i think i've been to from calgary
Starting point is 00:37:06 they had the calgary cannons yeah they're actually in a higher league i think they yeah they but they we used to be in the same league as the canadians and after every home run cannon fire cannon that's true it was awesome uh last time i went fernando valenzuela's son was playing alright who's that he used to be a pitcher for the Dodgers big time stuff so I'm not taking them to a baseball game
Starting point is 00:37:34 so where can I take them we'll take them to the Green Elizabeth Park what about the restaurant have you guys ever been to the I've never been there so I can't confirm this is true but you know that kind of uh the building downtown with the like disc ship yeah the disc one and it's like apparently there's a revolving restaurant up there i've never been to it but apparently it's good either i've never been to it either i've
Starting point is 00:37:57 heard it's it's probably i think i heard it was expensive yeah uh but yeah they should come up with a revolving restaurant that's on like the second floor that would be awesome just a gyro the rest of the building doesn't move or the whole office building but it's always moving would you be able to buy a gyro i don't know the only problem with it is in vancouver downtown vancouver at one point you're the view would be of a back alley. You would be looking at a dumpster for about ten minutes of your meal. So there's just some guy urinating on the side of the building.
Starting point is 00:38:33 They just kind of speed it up. They know where it is. They just speed up the rotation. Slow, and then they get to the alley, and it just jumps. Yeah, but someone's always at the alley. That's true. Yeah, and they have to move so slow like by the time like you start eating and then by the end of your meal like you maybe have made half
Starting point is 00:38:50 a rotation or something so like oh it moves that slow like i'm gonna be in a gravitron like stuff's just flying off the table. They're just standing and eating. They're like, pick your seat. Does anybody have to go to the bathroom before we start this shit? There's that one like carny rat guy who's like really good at moving around. You know the revolving restaurant in Upper Hoverton? The restaurant stays still and the city moves around it. So you guys have no suggestions?
Starting point is 00:39:28 No. Thanks for nothing. I think, what about the beach? Yeah, okay. We went down to, like, English Bay and, like, walked around. But it's like, there's only so much goddamn walking you can do in a day. Before you're like, yeah, I get it. I got legs.
Starting point is 00:39:47 What are your parents doing now? They're just kind of... Because they got in super early this morning. Like, I've been up since, like, seven. That's when they got in. But I was up until three. So that's four hours. You're lying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Abby was crying all night. That's not true. Abby's, uh, she went in for dental surgery during the last episode, and now her jaw is... She looks like a cross between Marlon Brando in The Godfather
Starting point is 00:40:16 and Eric Stolzen Mask. Smokin'! I love mask quotes. Oh my god, smokin' will kill me any day of the week somebody drops a good smoking please thank you
Starting point is 00:40:31 uh overheards overheards we were just uh I just requested a trance song I hummed it it may not be trance how did you describe it trance song or i hummed it it may not be trance what would you how did you describe it trance trance that goes
Starting point is 00:40:48 and you told me it was atb i can even tell you the name of the song i think it's i'm gonna sound like an idiot if i'm not right but i'm pretty sure it's atb 9 a.m 9 a. ATB. Oh, I think you're right. I think that is the exact Wow. And so we suggested that you should host your own podcast called Transmasters. And then that could be our sister show. Yes. Well, you guys missed a whole lot when I paused the
Starting point is 00:41:17 thing. Alright, so. You're all caught up. Connor, you've listened to the show. You know how Overheard works. You got one? Something you overheard? Hilarious? I've been struggling to remember one that I have in recent memory. So, you guys do one and I'll see if I can dig one up.
Starting point is 00:41:32 All right. Dave, you want to hit one? Well, mine ain't technically an Overheard. It was something I kind of saw. Okay. Okay. When you have to do two Overheards a week, it really wears you down. Not me.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I'm ready to go. Well, you ride a bus. Not true. I drive an ATV. An ATV. It's a beautiful day today, but the last couple weeks have been pretty bad. It's a beautiful day today, but the last couple weeks have been pretty bad. And I think on Monday, it was pouring rain, and it kind of came out of nowhere.
Starting point is 00:42:15 And I was walking down the street, and I had all my rain gear on, and there was a teenage girl who didn't have any rain gear on, and she looked so mad, but she was listening to headphones and she was rapping along she also had braids that i would characterize maybe as cornrows okay but cornrows-esque maybe not a full set of alan iverson's uh but she was i don't know exactly what she was saying is why this isn't technically an overheard but she was rapping so hard along to exactly what she was saying, is why this isn't technically an overheard, but she was rapping so hard along to the music she was listening to, and the cadence,
Starting point is 00:42:52 well, the rhythm was exactly the same as P. Diddy's Come With Me from the Godzilla soundtrack. Oh, the Godzilla soundtrack is so good. It is so good. Good Green Day track on there. It was a lot like when he goes, I don't like you.
Starting point is 00:43:08 I want to fight you. I'll fucking bite you. Can't stand nobody like you. And she looked at me while she did it. That's great. Out from the other side of the street. I like people that get angry. It's all in this tiny little world in their head.
Starting point is 00:43:23 It's just them and their earphones and anger but like it's too much anger to hold in so it's got to come out in their eyes or their mouth like it's got to come out somehow that's the scariest kind of anger is the anger that people put at you with their eyes you know like like if like i was doing something that was like maybe embarrassing my mom you know and then she gives you like just look at you with the eyes, you know, like. You're like, all the anger energy is coming out of your eye holes. So, yeah, no, that's, I love it. It's terrifying. Did that jog your memory, Annie, for an overheard?
Starting point is 00:43:53 I do have an overheard, actually. It's from Godzilla. Come with me. It's not, I guess it's kind of an overheard. I was riding my bike down right by City Hall actually like down the hill and I just got a light on my bike because I want to be safe
Starting point is 00:44:14 safety first security dad primero I don't have a helmet but I'm planning on getting one safety second maybe you are a hipster I'm on the track to have a helmet but i'm planning safety second oh it's kind of the big one maybe you are a hipster yeah well i'm gonna i'm on the track to buying a helmet okay so no just gonna be a hip looking helmet it's gonna be some kind of weird thing it's gonna be an old roman helmet no what if you
Starting point is 00:44:34 were wearing like one of those ones from like the german army from the first world war with the spike guns possibly that would be fucking or that mask that russell crowe wears in gladiator or what if you're wearing just one of those like leather, leather, like, from the leatherhead, like, football players? It's just got, like, the ear flaps. Or that mask that Russell Crowe wears in A Good Year. Those helmets are so funny, man. Or that mask that Mel Gibson wears in The Man Without a Face. Or Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.
Starting point is 00:45:03 But basically the Russell Crowe mask series. Is that a Russell Crowe helmet? Yes. It's just his hair is the hard part of the helmet. Or it's like a payphone that you just like... So anyways... So I'm riding by these guys and they're all bikes and stuff like that
Starting point is 00:45:21 and they look like they're pretty serious bike guys. I'm riding down the hill and I still haven't quite figured out what they meant. But they see me ride by, and they go, hey, man, get a helmet. It'll save your life. And none of them had helmets. So I'm thinking they're making fun of me somehow. I just don't know.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Was I going too slow for them? Or was the light? Were they like, oh, nice light. That's really gaying up your bike, bro. That's going to save your life. It's just, I don't know. I'm pretty sure they were making fun of me. It's not often when you get advice
Starting point is 00:45:54 yelled at you. Oh, thanks. I appreciate your advice. Wash your hair three times a week. Okay. It's probably an insult. Wow. Yeah yeah that is weird to just have that yelled at you like by guys who weren't wearing helmets yeah so like what and they were also on bikes yeah but it's like making fun of me like why would you make fun of someone it's like wearing your seat but what are you like why are you wearing a seatbelt there what are you a pussy you know like no i just don't want to die on what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Recreationally. This doesn't have to be a life or death situation. That's weird. I'm going to try and decode that myself. If you can decode that one, why don't you email us at stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com
Starting point is 00:46:43 We got actually an email from Abby's Aunt Sheila Oh yeah who was noticing that we talk to her we talk about her so much but we she said that it comes off that she sounds like she's about 55 years old but she's not, she's a young lady
Starting point is 00:47:00 She's a young lady and a beautiful one at that Ta-da! Wow! Her Facebook pictures make her look pretty good She's a young lady. She's a young lady. And a beautiful one at that. Ta-da. Wow. Well, her Facebook pictures make her look pretty good. She's a handsome lady. What? Why would you make that distinction?
Starting point is 00:47:19 I said that she's a beautiful lady, and then you're all like, oh, wait a minute. Let's not go overboard with the crazy compliments. She used to have a dick. Oh, okay. There you go. So the crazy compliments. She used to have a dick. Oh, okay. There you go. So you're right. That's handsome. That's a handsome penis. That is a handsome penis. This is courtesy... I actually have two.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Courtesy of my parents. Overheards. Did your parents say them? Yes. I was... Do they listen to the podcast? parents overheard. Did your parents say them? Yes. Do they listen to the podcast? My dad said that he was having a lot of trouble finding it. We've got to figure
Starting point is 00:47:54 that out. I told him what it was called and he typed it in but the thing that came up was only just one episode. I think there's a filter on the internet that doesn't let old people listen to it yeah but it's on my brother's computer so there's no way the
Starting point is 00:48:11 internet would know you know the internet knows nah the internet's not that smart not that your parents are necessarily old they're not they're 32 they're too old to listen they just partied a lot when they were young. My dad, they were being especially hilarious as we were walking along the seawall. But my brother is a musician, and he was, for some reason, he was playing at some pub, and they listed him in the kind of Georgia Straight equivalent in Calgary as his name is Daniel, but they listed him as, uh, they, they call him like Danny boy,
Starting point is 00:48:49 but as like a joke, like somebody put his name in as Danny B O I as his last name, like Danny boy. And, uh, and then my mom was like, and she was like, I looked that up on the internet and that's like,
Starting point is 00:49:04 she just thought it was a misspelling of the word boy. Like she was like, I don't, why don't they know how to spell boy? And so she looked it up and she was like, oh, it's like a slang term. It's like, it's like a cool guy is boy, B-O-I. And then my dad said, during this conversation, he's like, can't you be cool and a good speller too? Did your parents notice you immediately take out your notebook and write that down? No, they didn't notice at all. And they didn't notice this either.
Starting point is 00:49:32 When we were walking along the seawall, there was a kite flying competition across the water. And you know what? Everybody wins. I was going to say, how do you win a kite flying competition? I don't know. How do you win a kite flying competition? I don't know. But there was a guy announcing that you could hear across the water that was saying, like, the next heat is so and so and so and so.
Starting point is 00:49:53 And he kept saying that. And my mom was talking while this was going on. And then out of nowhere, she's like, I just heard them say that Tegan and Sarah are playing next. And I was like, what the fuck? They're not playing in a kite flying competition. She's like, no, that's what I heard. And we're going to stand here until we hear it again. So we stood on the shore for like six minutes.
Starting point is 00:50:16 And then we finally heard them say, like, the next heat is Sarah. And I was like, okay, so maybe Tegan and Sarah. Your mom a big Tegan and Sarah fan? Yeah. Are they from Calgary? Yeah. Speaking of of competition and that was another thing they said they're like yeah they're twins and my mom goes and lesbians my dad's like both of them well i mean same genes yeah but i don't know does that happen with twins if one's gay the other one's gay i think they've done nature nurture studies yeah what was the conclusion uh that uh pretty big statement coming up here i didn't want to get into that i don't't know what the statement was. But speaking of competitions, today I forgot to mention this.
Starting point is 00:51:08 I went to Trout Lake to walk my dog. And as a matter of fact, it was Trout Lake Dog Day Afternoon. Oh, so it was dogs? It was the dog fair at the Trout Lake Urban Lake. Nice. So if you have a time machine and have a dog and want to go...
Starting point is 00:51:32 There were just booths set up with free stuff for dogs. But there was also a competition. They must have been having competitions throughout the day. But the announcement I overheard was Alright, we're now accepting invitations
Starting point is 00:51:47 for the cutest ears competition. And I was actually in the right place at the right time. I chose not to do it, but they after they had compiled all the dogs for the cutest ears competition. Alright, anyone up front who
Starting point is 00:52:03 wants to judge? I could have been the judge. I could have been the judge. You should have been the judge. I'm biased. Yeah, was your dog in it? No. Well, then you wouldn't have been that biased. True.
Starting point is 00:52:15 No, but I have a type of ear I like. Yeah, but all judges are biased. And they were just picking judges randomly from the crowd. Yeah, I wasn't like, who has the best ability? There are some great prizes though uh a camo tank top for your dog that would have been good yeah for grandpa yeah that would have been tough toughen that dog up go so you can go fight that cat tough or gay he's never gonna fight that cat no but maybe if you give him some camo shit. Yeah, you could sneak up on him.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Your dog's got some cat problems? Yeah, there's a neighbor cat who once attacked him, and now my dog is so fearful. Oh, no. Yeah, but not maybe if you've got some tough gear, you know? Is tough gear a brand of clothes? T-U-F-F. Yeah, is it? I don't know if it's tough gear or tough wear.
Starting point is 00:53:07 But yeah, there's something like that. Is it like B-U-M equipment? I don't understand what that means. Bomb equipment? I don't. 90s. 90s. What about vision streetwear?
Starting point is 00:53:17 I was born in 2000. What do you call the clothes that change color when you get hot? Hypercolor. Hypercolor. Hypercolor. I remember I had a hypercolor shirt and you put it in the wash on hot that ruins it because it goes so
Starting point is 00:53:32 hot that it just stays the color that it goes hot to and then that's it. Then you've got an ugly yellow shirt. I had a pair of hypercolor pants for a while. Really? No. That would be awesome. It's so gross, you know? Just like all in the crotch zone.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Just like different coats. It's just like hot pink. Why not? When's that day going to come? What about a suit that's hyper-colored for the business man? Only rappers are allowed to wear that. According to your resume, You spent four years at Harvard Then you just see his pits go like
Starting point is 00:54:08 Red green Venice invented this suit Did I say Harvard? What next? I came up with a thing for stunt casting Not a song But I came up with a thing that we could stunt cast Okay, we don't have a song for stunt casting not a song but i came up for a thing that we could stunt cast okay we don't have a song for stunt casting should not yet all right um connor sing you want to make
Starting point is 00:54:30 up a song for stunt casting right on the spot that's how it's done that's how it's done that's okay all right let's do it yeah are you an actor are you looking for work? Stunt casting. Stunt casting. Stunt. Stunt casting. Powder.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Danny DeVito. Taxi Cab the Movie. Danny Glover. Martin Short. Anyone in the movie Danny Glover Martin Short anyone in the movie pure luck stunt casting that's it that's all I have I have a good feeling about this
Starting point is 00:55:16 that's good that's gonna make it that is gonna make it why don't you explain what stunt casting is stunt casting is my knee jerk reaction to the fact that every single thing that's... A movie that's been made before a TV show is inevitably they're going to make... Like, every summer movie is a retread of something. Like, I can't think of one that's going to be like...
Starting point is 00:55:40 Well, The Hulk. Oh, The Hulk. And Iron Man. And Get Smart. And Batman. And Batman. And Batman. But not the love guru, but we'll see how that flows. Yeah, or the Zohan.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Oh, so funny. Now they almost died. So, yeah. So we just... But last week... Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, we did taxi taxi what if the tag who would we cast in taxi the series and it also like a redo of taxi series or taxi the movie yeah sure yeah whatever and that way uh it also lends itself really well to hilarious photoshopping
Starting point is 00:56:22 which is really the big push behind it but okay what if because you know people are big into the 80s stuff the breakfast club they were going to remake the breakfast club with not using any of the
Starting point is 00:56:40 actors from the breakfast club well no but you could as like a winking thing have have Emilio Estevez as the teacher guy. Or the principal, Paul Gleason. Right. You could have something like that to be like, wink! But you refuse it.
Starting point is 00:56:56 I would refuse it. But I would allow Molly Ringwald to be one of the mothers that picks up the kids at the end of the day. You've seen The Breakfast Club, I'm assuming. Of course. Okay, so let's give a rundown of who's in it. We've got the principal. We've got your Molly Ringwald
Starting point is 00:57:12 character. I believe her name was Claire. She was the prissy. She's the red-haired one. She was the popular girl. We've got Judd Nelson. Bender. He's kind of the tough guy, right? Yeah, he was the rebel burnout.
Starting point is 00:57:27 We've got... Anthony Michael Hall. Anthony Michael Hall. The nerd. The nerd, right? Emilio Estevez. The jock. Right.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Ally Sheedy. The gothy... Who's Ally Sheedy? Basket case. Okay, right, right, right. Yeah, she's the basket case, right. And that's about it. Oh, there's a janitor.
Starting point is 00:57:44 There's someone else in there, I feel like. Isn't there like five or six? Is that five? Nope. Yeah, there's five. I, right. And that's about it. Oh, there's a janitor. There's someone else in there, I feel like. Isn't there like five or six? Is that five? No, I think it's just those five. Because remember, Emilio Estevez teams up with Alishida and Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald
Starting point is 00:57:59 and Anthony Michael Hall, blowing in the wind. So, okay. So, given so given that that was the cast, who would you... Would you go all teen? I think you're not trying to market it. Are you trying to market it? I'm just figuring it out. Let's get Brad Pitt in there somewhere.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Because I don't know a lot of teens. Neither do I, but the great thing about teen movies and the tradition of teen movies is always casting people older and just calling them teenagers. Right. So don't... Yeah, it's got to be... I don't care.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Just who would you cast if you were remaking it now as a big Hollywood... Like, this is going to be like a summertime blockbuster smash. So. All right. Do you have any ideas? Right off of the top? Yep.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Molly Ringwald, I'm guessing. Red hair. Yep. Lindsay Lohan. Right. That's a good one. That's the only redheaded actress in Hollywood. Well, who else?
Starting point is 00:59:03 Rene Russo. Okay, Rene Russo. Did you see Thomas Crown Affair? So it's a split vote between Lindsay Lohan and Rene Russo. It looks like it's two to one. Okay, so Rene Russo. Okay, so Rene Russo as... I got one, I got one.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Frankie Muniz as Anthony Michael Hall. Good call. That's a good call. Alright, Frankie Muniz, Rene Russo. He's like 40 or 50 and he's like a little boy. Here we are stuck in detention again. Rene fucking...
Starting point is 00:59:41 Sorry, Rene Russo. Oh yeah, don't swear. Keep in mind that during the one where we recast Taxi, one of the... Jeff Conaway's... Jeff Conaway character was recast as Raphael from the Ninja Turtle movies.
Starting point is 00:59:56 So, it can go that way. Did you recast DeVito, or did DeVito make the group? Everyone was recast except for DeVito. DeVito was recast by Vernne Troyer. Verne Troyer. Oh, okay. Yeah. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Basically the same man. Yeah. Anyone that has a small t-shirt that you buy from Value Village somehow has the Danny DeVito body type, you know? Exactly. So East Side Pride will be played by...
Starting point is 01:00:21 Let's see. Okay, so Judd Nelson, who would be like he's got to be like brooding Russell Crowe-esque but not Russell Crowe. Like a younger Russell Crowe. Skeet Ulrich. He's too skinny.
Starting point is 01:00:38 He's too unemployable. Too chill factor-ish. Skeet. Can we get Skeet Skeet was he was can we get Skeet in there could he be could we have him as the something
Starting point is 01:00:49 maybe the janitor the janitor he might actually be the on set janitor just film him doing his work yeah it might be
Starting point is 01:00:59 just take it out to recycling okay what about Judd Nelson who could we get someone brooding and filthy. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Colin Farrell. A little old, but... We got Rene Russo. We got Rene Russo in there. So Colin Farrell, Rene Russo, Frankie Muniz. Who is our Emilio Estevez? Charlie Sheen. Rob Lowe.
Starting point is 01:01:26 The teens are going to love some Charlie Sheen. Rob Lowe. The teens are going to love some Charlie Sheen. We got Hugh Grant in there to play. Hugh Grant? Hugh Grant. I think we can go Efron again. Zac Efron? He's got olive skin, right?
Starting point is 01:01:41 Dark skin, kind of like blonde hair? Yeah. A dirty blonde. Yeah, yeah. He's got olive skin, right? Like dark skin, kind of like blonde hair? Yeah. He's got dark hair. A dirty blonde. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd say a dirty blonde. Zac Efron? Zac Efron?
Starting point is 01:01:50 Beautiful face, beautiful body, chiseled. Chiseled. Okay, what about Alice Sheedy? Who would you cast as the gothy? Mary-Kate Olsen? Which one of the Olsens wears all the big baggy clothes? Mary-Kate?sen? Which one of the Olsens wears all the big baggy clothes? Mary-Kate? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Alright. I accept that. Alright, now the principal. Okay, the principal. You got your whole Hollywood black book to choose from. But you know who springs to mind, honestly, looks-wise? The dad from Malcolm in the Middle.
Starting point is 01:02:24 But then that's too close. Because then you're like, what the dad from malcolm in the middle but then that's too close because then you're like what is this the malcolm in the movie no malcolm in the movie is what it would be called if they made it into a movie which will be the next stunt casting thing malcolm in the movie we should do malcolm in the middle babies like muppet babies but the parents are also babies and it doesn't make like it's hard to figure out or the parents are also babies? And it doesn't make... Like, it's hard to figure out? Or the parents are kids? And everybody else is babies?
Starting point is 01:02:50 Alright, who's the principal? Get your head in the game, Graham. Sorry. Stop riffing. He's gotta be... Oh, fuck. He's gotta be... He's gotta be, like...
Starting point is 01:03:03 Tough, but fair. Tough, but fair tough but fair chris cooper who's chris cooper's good who's chris cooper um adaptation he played the crazy um he's in the born movies i think yeah oh okay yeah a little older stern stern he's good is that the star power that we need? Chris Cooper? Is he going to bring it home? Is he going to have the star power of, say, a Paul Gleeson? Exactly.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Yeah. We could go with a black actor, too. We don't have to go white here. That's true. Tough but fair. Like a Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is... I think he's mostly fair.
Starting point is 01:03:43 That's true. He's not that tough. Who's tough? Denzel Washington's always... He's not that tough. Who's tough? Denzel Washington's always... He's good for tough. Can we afford him? Yeah, this is a big budget, man. We got fucking Rainy Russo and Frankie Muniz in the same goddamn movie.
Starting point is 01:03:58 Rainy Russo. We got Runny Russo. Reverend Run Russo. We got Rappin' Ranny Russo. Reverend Run Russo. We got Raffin' Ranny Russo. Raffy Russo. Raffy Russo. Yeah, well, all right. Denzel or like a Ving Rhames?
Starting point is 01:04:19 Ooh, Ving Rhames, yes. Yes, Ving Rhames is the principal. So much desk pounding. Yeah, no, Ving Rhames, yes. Yes, Ving Rhames is the principal. So much desk pounding. Yeah, no, Ving Rhames is it. So we've got Ving Rhames, Skeet Ulrich is the janitor, Charlie Sheen as Emilio Estevez, Rene Russo as Rappin' Ronnie Russo,
Starting point is 01:04:39 Molly Ringwald, Frankie Muniz as Anthony Michael Hall. Anthony Michael Hall. Ally Sheedy was... Lindsay Lohan? Mary-Kate Olsen. Mary-Kate Olsen. And who else is... Judd Nelson
Starting point is 01:04:57 was Colin Farrell. Good work, team. The Breakfast Club. The movie, again. Anyone from Pure Luck. Let's wrap it up. Thank work, team. The Breakfast Club. The movie again. Anyone from Pure Luck. All right. Let's wrap it up. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Connor, is it? Yeah, it's Connor. Connor Haller. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. Thanks for coming over to a real podcast and hanging out and seeing how it's really done. More expensive beers. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:22 More delicious cookies. And Rock Band. Cheap beers are fun, too. Just no spiders. Yeah. more expensive. Delicious cookies. And rock band. Cheap beers are fun, too. Just no spiders. Yeah, no spiders. Spider-free. Maybe one day you can make it to the ultimate podcast, whatever, whatever, trance, with Martin Van Buren.
Starting point is 01:05:35 I hope so. Yeah, next week I'm doing Martin Van Buren's show, talking about my trance group, electric overdrive. And the spaceship noises. It's like a late 70s prog trance group electric uh overdrive and the spaceship noise it's like a late 70s prog trance group electric overdrive it's yeah thanks for coming out it was a lot of fun yeah and uh we'll be back you can email us at stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and check out the recap of this episode at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com. Thanks for being such a pro, Dave.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Let's go play some rock band. Everybody, stop podcasting yourself. Thank you.

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