Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 258 - Kevin Lee

Episode Date: February 25, 2013

Kevin Lee returns to talk black metal, beer koozies, and a Tina Turner tribute....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 258 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is the Dr. Johnny Fever to my Venus flytrap, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that WKRP in Cincinnati? That is correct.
Starting point is 00:00:37 I never really got into that. I think I liked it because I didn't understand. There was a lot of sex stuff going on when I was a kid and I didn't get it. Do you get it now? I don't think. I mean, you know, I get it. Yeah. I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:00:54 What has held up for the 70s? The 70s sex humor or radio references? Kind of not. Well, what's her name? Jan Smithithers yeah she was bailey quarters right yeah uh she was the mousy one too who was the one that was the big lani anderson yeah she was like the big sex sex bomb yeah um right guest yeah um and our guest today oh i think what's what the difference between now you sit back the difference between now and sex today and 70s sex is that now jan smithers is the sex bomb that's right yeah she's definitely like she's the new girl she uh apparently was discovered by being in some magazine as like the typical teenager in the late 60s.
Starting point is 00:01:49 She was like part of a photo essay. Right, guest? Yeah. Our guest this week, a very, very funny gentleman, a return guest to the podcast, a member of the weekly show, The Sunday Service, which happens each and every week at the Cosmic Zoo. Mr. Kevin Lee. Hello. Oh, yeah. That was fair. I need a do-over. Nope. I'll take it. Yeah, there are no do-overs in life.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I'm an irritating comic now. You there, big face and the body. What are you guys doing here? There should be a guy. There's never been a comedian with an irritating voice like that who is like a timid observational guy.
Starting point is 00:02:30 So you haven't been on a bus and you're trying to get up the nurse to talk to a girl. She's like, oh, beautiful. And you're sitting there sweating, sweaty. You're pissing yourself. And you go up to her and you're like, excuse me, ma'am.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Would you like to get a coffee? And of course she's like, who's this crazy guy? I'm going to shut up. I was really wanting to see who's this crazy guy wanting to get into my pantsuit.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Why is she wearing a pantsuit? He's got a thing for business women from the 80s. Oh, did that go out with the 80s? There's no more pantsuits? No, there hasn't been a pantsuit since 1989, December 31st. See you later, Berlin Wall. Karl Lagerfeld went,
Starting point is 00:03:18 no more. Flipped a little fan. Is that a picture of a pantsuit on it? Burned it. Pantsuits were what? Pantsuits still exist. They're like a suit for a lady? I think it's just a lady's suit, but they just had to make sure it wasn't equal to a man. So it's like, it's a cute little pantsuit.
Starting point is 00:03:35 It's like a baby uniform or something. It's like the ringette of suits. Yeah. Right? Ringette was just... Is. Oh, it still exists? Really?
Starting point is 00:03:44 It still exists? Because I thought girls that wanted to play hockey just played... Is. Oh, it still exists? Really? It still exists? Because I thought girls that wanted to play hockey just played hockey now. Oh, that is true. But ringette... Boys can play ringette. What? Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boys can figure skate. Oh, that's true. I've heard about that. Boys can wear pantsuits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't call them that, but... What do they call them for boys?
Starting point is 00:04:02 Skirt suits. Oh, goodness. Well, thanks for coming back on the show uh this has been uh stop wrapping up uh no let's get to know us get to know us so i'm gonna retire that guy immediately dave's looking at the levels busting them out sorry people at home this is the second character you've debuted this evening we've only been here for like about 15 minutes you've already busted out two great characters that's great uh the off-air the character was daddy yeah it was daddy can daddy get a taste daddy's to get a taste of that.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Daddy get a taste of that. And what do you call this other comic? Unky's got to have a bite. That's the second one. That's right. Oh, Unky is related to Daddy. Yeah, he's the Joey to Daddy's friends. Shorter lived, unsuccessful.
Starting point is 00:04:59 But unheard by half the people in the room. Yeah. You couldn't have been the Frasier? Nope. Not everyone's so lucky. No, it's true. You have some grammar on your side. So how's it going?
Starting point is 00:05:12 Oh, good. It's going well. Thanks for coming back. Yeah, thanks for having me. Thanks. Yeah. And what's new? Tell us all about it.
Starting point is 00:05:19 Tell us all about the world. Yeah, what's Kevin Lee like? Kevin Lee's doing good. Is he doing well? Oh, no, I'm doing good as in I'm going around. Going around doing good. Stopping people from stopping perch snatchers. Perch snatchers, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:35 So like anybody who tries to, some birds that tries to muscle another bird off of a tree, I kill them with a gun. Doing a lot of good. Yeah, doing great good for these birds. You're doing great good? Perch security. Yeah, no great good for these birds. You're doing great good? Perch security. Yeah, no, things are going well.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah. Sunday service is trucking along. We just had, we were part of the Vancouver Comedy Fest, which is a lot of fun. Right. I feel like I'm getting into pursuits that I should have gotten into in high school. Okay. Well, I was into comic books in high school, but I'm getting into them again. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:11 That's fun. So wait a minute. Okay. Why do you feel like that's something that you should have done in high school? That's something I gave up in high school because I think I just thought it was not... Was that at the conception that it wasn't cool or popular to read those things? So I was like, I'm going to put these on the back burner while I try and sort my self-esteem out. And now that I have, I'm going back to it.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Comics aren't the problem. Yeah, I've seen that show on AMC, Comic Book Men. Those guys are the coolest guys around, right? They're pretty cool. They're pretty boss. Yeah, they're their own boss, which is great. What kind of comic books do you read i read uh comic books like erotic fanfic oh sorry i knocked the table uh do erotic comic books exist yeah yeah yeah but like are there like high class no i mean
Starting point is 00:07:01 like where do i get them and how how dark of a plastic bag do I need to bring? If I was looking for that... Yeah. Hypothetically. Yeah, hypothetically. Where would you get it? Not where would I get it, but, like, what... I'm imagining that there's, like, a higher class one, and then there's, like, just jugs.
Starting point is 00:07:18 The internet, the... There's, like, uh... Like, there was the kind of, like like Conan the Barbarian-esque. Oh, heavy metal. Heavy metal. Right. That was like a whole genre. I think that would probably be like the more high class one because they have like different
Starting point is 00:07:32 artists and stuff. Right. And there's like respected artists that do that, I think. So what's the low class one? Is it like Robert? You're looking at me like, I know. I don't know. You said that was high class.
Starting point is 00:07:39 This is like, um. Is it like Robert Crumb things that just like, you look at them and you just get bummed out because you imagine him? Yeah, you imagine him. Like, oh, sexuality is a nightmare. Yeah. He's into women with ill-fitting shorts. And he's a weird little creep who runs inside them or something.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I don't know. Yeah, that's true. That's not far off from a Robert Crumb. Like, I'm running around in some lady's vagina. Yeah, I'm going to be like one-eighth the size of a woman, and then I'm going to crawl up her leg and up her skirt. It's like, ugh. I'm a sexy bug.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Yeah, I was the sexy little ferret bug. Here we go. It's terrifying. What kind of comics do you read? Are you doing superhero things? Oh, no. No, Greg. Let me take off my glasses in a condescending way
Starting point is 00:08:27 and correct you. I'm reading stuff mostly on the image imprint because they've got a lot of good books out there. Saga is one that's good. One's called Prophet. It's like a really weird... It's almost like Conan the Barbarian in space, but like... It's like not sexy.
Starting point is 00:08:44 There aren't boobs really in it. He has sex with a big weird vagina monster. It's like not sexy. There aren't boobs really in it. He has sex with a big weird vagina monster. It's like an alien. It's basically a big vagina. It's okay. So this is the low class erotic stuff you were talking about? This is the shit I get up on now. I love it.
Starting point is 00:09:00 I love it. This is the stuff I really get my kicks out of. Now that I got myself a scene back, I get into weird crap. I don't care what anyone thinks of me let alone the weirdo who's selling me this stuff yeah i'm gonna broadcast it on this podcast that's the only reason i came on here listen guys i'm into weirdo vaginas yeah daddy's gotta get a taste so i know that profit book is really good um yeah kind of weird things that um don't do superhero stuff so much but like they play with genre and do weird things which is cool like community like yeah like community do you go to uh like a comic book store do you have a regular do you hang out with
Starting point is 00:09:38 the guys no are they always bidding on crazy collectibles i'm getting everything from comic book man i've never seen that show. I haven't seen it either. I've seen the ads for it. Yeah, I've seen, I think the first episode. Are you familiar with the idea of the show? Yeah, it's like Pawn Stars,
Starting point is 00:09:54 but with like Kevin Smith and his friends. Yeah. Yeah, that's his employees. I have a lot of old comic books that I have from when I was growing up that I know have almost no value. Like there's no way.
Starting point is 00:10:04 When I was younger, I'm like, bag them in boredom. I'm just keeping these forever. Mint. Spawn number 17. Yeah. God, I keep it. Pit number one.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Pit's with two Ts. It's terrible. What was Pit? He was the... He was just like a big monster with claws. From Pittsburgh? Yeah, he's from Pittsburgh. He was the Andy Warhol monster?
Starting point is 00:10:23 He's playing on the penguins and then he got hit by radioactive ice. Wait, there was Pitt and then wasn't there another guy that was, he was like purple. It was the Ocean's Eleven comics. They were great.
Starting point is 00:10:39 It was a whole team up. The Ocean's Eleven's imprint. Crossover event. It was great. Until Bernie Mac died. Wasn't there one called The Max? Yeah, that was another one that I... That took place at the hangout from Saved by the Bell?
Starting point is 00:10:51 Yeah. Got hit by a radioactive hangout. One monster could sit backwards on a chair real well. Devastate you. chair real well um so you uh uh you're reconnecting with things that you feel like you should have done in high school yeah what did you do in books whatever yeah what did you do in high school like a therapist you guys both lean back uh far away um give me your glasses so i can take them off yep here we go and put them on and taking them off what did you Here we go. And putting them on. Putting them on. And taking them off. What did you do in high school?
Starting point is 00:11:26 Oh, um, I, uh, I think I got, I tried to understand Primus and, um. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what is sailing the seas of cheese, eh? Primus and, uh, like, Gwar, which never, I never understood that. And then Nirvana. Why did you? Because I got into like. Nirvana was the cool guar why were you trying
Starting point is 00:11:47 to understand because i was like i was like a really good kid like i was just like never do anything wrong and then i was like these are things that i don't even understand my mom doesn't have a chance to get into them somehow it's like i just like dude i think you can understand primus and guar yeah oh i can't now yeah andwar is ridiculous for the sake of being ridiculous. Yeah. And Primus is dumb. It's like Cirque du Soleil, isn't it? Primus is dumb.
Starting point is 00:12:13 They're, you know, virtuosos on their instruments, but they play dumb music for idiots. That was their last album, dumb music for idiots. Seriously, get a clip. Yeah. There's a subtit, get a clip. Yeah. There's a subtitle on that one. Yeah. Yeah, both of those groups were weird for weird's sake, right? Yeah, but when I was younger, I didn't get that.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Like, I thought there was something I didn't understand. Like, that was my whole adolescence, was like anything that was like cool or dumb, but seemed cool. I always just thought there was something I didn't understand about it. Like you're like, it's advanced. Yeah, it's advanced or something about it. Like, the kids in the hall were something where I just didn't get it as a kid. Now I get it. And I love that.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Right. But Primus never got Gwar. There's nothing to get. That's the thing. Yeah, that's unfortunate that now that you can understand it, there's nothing to understand. What a bunch of wasted time there. I know we have teenage listeners. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Do you have any advice for them vis-a- advice for them? Is there a danger today of teenagers getting into Coir or Primus? Or not getting into them soon enough. Yeah. I think my advice would be, I don't know, it seems like everything's pretty vapid on the surface. I don't think there's very much... Get your vap on. Get your vape on, guys. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:24 I guess... Yeah. yeah yeah just see just dead air yep keep thinking there this makes good radio um uh yeah i don't know just listen to whatever you like you'll figure it out later you figure it out in your 30s wolf so uh comic books was something that you were like i gotta get i gotta get out of this and pursue other things what else are you getting back into now that you're an adult man this is something that high school gym class i'm really good at baseball now i can hit way farther than all those kids go football get a ropes yeah good at wearing the official shorts and shirt yeah school in strip good at showering
Starting point is 00:14:12 words gym strip in years oh yeah no the gym that I'm a member of makes you wear chips true what is that is that like a coat they have to wear it a fancy what was your gym strip oh it, it was just shorts. Was there like the same shorts that everyone had to wear or could you just find your own shorts? No, everybody had to wear the same ones. They were blue and they had a little bar on it that you wrote your name on. Oh, okay. So that nobody stole your shorts.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Ours had the school logo that you could write your name on. Oh, yeah. I think the t-shirt had a school logo, and I remember finding an orange can of spray paint that they would mark the lawn with for, like, get rid of this tree or whatever. This tree was taking pictures of kids on the playground. It's a guy in a suit. It's like, costume. My friends and I spray painted our gym strips a bright orange, and then the paint cracked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:06 Yeah. And it smelled really bad. There was no way to wash them because the paint would come off and ruin the washing machine. But you were like, we're technically not breaking any rules. You guys are in the outfield hallucinating on the fumes. Oh, my pants are cracking. Yeah. Gym strip.
Starting point is 00:15:25 My goodness. So what else high school wise you get back into? We were allowed to wear whatever t-shirt we wanted. Is that right? But the shorts were
Starting point is 00:15:33 standard. So what was your favorite gym strip t-shirt that you'd wear? Gwar. It's Gwar. Let's get fit with Gwar. Ooh, that'd be fun.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Ooh. Never mind. They're puking on a volleyball net. No, I'm sorry. Puking on a volleyball net. That's fun they're all about I have no I have nothing to tell you about my high school t-shirt except that I except that back then there I did stuff that I would never do now where I would just like one day the shirt would be a gym shirt, the next day it was just a standard shirt. Oh, you mean like, one day this is a designated gym shirt,
Starting point is 00:16:11 and then the next day I'm just wearing it in class. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'd wash it in between, but shower with it on. Go to the gym, take a shower with it. I'll never shower at school. Do you have showers at the school? There were showers there, but no one ever used them.
Starting point is 00:16:24 I don't think we were allowed because too many boner-related accidents. A lot of kids with eye patches. We're going broke. What is that? That's what a lot of people have. Eye patches.
Starting point is 00:16:39 That was part of the gym strip. It was a high school eye patch. Go Lords. Lords? Yeah, that a high school high patch. Go Lords. Lords? Yeah, that was ours. Lord Beaverbrook Lords. Could have been the beavers. Lord of the Brooks.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Sun Devils. What did you have? Blue Demons. Blue Demons. Sun Devils. Sun Devils. Yeah. What's a Sun Devil?
Starting point is 00:16:59 It's a devil that lives from the sun. Lives from the sun? Kevin? Yeah, we all live from the sun. Thanks so Sun glowing ball of fire every goddamn night so comic books and what else oh this is something that wasn't into in high school, but I'm into it now. Metal. Heavy? Black metal. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:31 It's great. I've been writing stuff lately and it's like perfect white noise to listen to that has like just enough melodicism, but then like you can't hear, you can't understand what someone's saying when they're like... But is that, is it the stuff, is it like the ro-ro-ro-ro is it like the kind of yeah singing yeah it's cookie monster falling downstairs with an electric guitar
Starting point is 00:17:51 it's uh yeah it's just like it's just like yeah it's just loud just like you know like industrial is it norwegian black metal some of it is mostly american mostly usbm uh yeah and it's it's good i'm actually starting to kind of like it and i actually kind of like it has a whole vocabulary uh vocabulary sorry thank you you corrected me i was right the first time a lot of her curbelerby that is uh it's hilarious that whole culture is amazing like like feeling oppressed it's a way for like white guys to get like a bite get white white daddies get a taste of oppression like no reason to feel oppressed but let me just put on white makeup and long hair and alienate everyone and now i'm oppressed you won't let me be hateful yeah well i have to find a reason why i'm discontent but uh that and
Starting point is 00:18:43 just like yeah just somebody was trying to describe some metal show. So I was talking to them about how I was getting into it. And they said that they saw or they heard of a metal show where they had like pits of fire over which they were burning raw meat. It was like the smell of raw meat was filling the place. It was so oppressive. It sounds like any barbecue. Yeah. Sounds delicious.
Starting point is 00:19:04 So there was a little bit of barbecue sauce, splash it on stage. No one's going to get mad. So you're like, you basically went to the musical equivalent of Burger King. These tasty licks are falling off the bone. Yeah, I went to Memphis Blues. I played metal on a booth. Would you ever go to a metal show? Yeah, that's why. i think it would be really fun
Starting point is 00:19:26 to see all these angsty people and like you feel the oppression all these people being like oh everything's brutal and oppressed and aggressive i love getting brutalized by this beast were you dressed for it yeah i would dress in black i wouldn't go on my strippiest brightest uh pantsuit right candy stripper pantsuit yeah uh but um i wouldn't go on my sexy maid outfit from last halloween but uh well why not it's all black yeah it is all black i'm like who's more oppressed than maids it's true and who's sexier and women women and maids come on-hmm. Come on. Come on, guy. They know metal. I've never been to, like, I used to go to a lot of punk music shows in Calgary, but never metal because I felt like there was a distinct different group of people that went. I feel like metal guys, if they were better at sports, would have just joined the football team. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah. They've got a lot of aggression. They're the ones who tear their ACL. Is that a thing? Oh, yeah, yeah. They tear their ACL or their PSP and they have to put a T. And they get into metal. Yeah. They can't handle anything else.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Oh, they were a football player. Yeah. But then they didn't... And the team starts to move on without them. The team does a little bit of lip service. They're like, oh, like they were a football player. Yeah. But then they didn't... And the team starts to move on without them. Like the team does a little bit of lip service. We're like, oh, come and hang out, Jimmy. And he's like, thanks, guys. And he comes over and just crutches.
Starting point is 00:20:51 The team moves on. We'll wait for you. We're not playing any games until you get better. Dude, we're boycotting this game until your body gets the program here. They all just move to another school. Oh, man, this guy's really bumming us out. Let's get out of here.
Starting point is 00:21:07 We're transferring to the blue moon demons. So because there's also that, like, kind of, like, at sports games, there's people that would just wear a jersey and just go to watch the game, and then there's people who would, like, paint their face and, like, bring props and stuff. That feels like it's a similar correlation to heavy metal. Yeah, it's like fandom. They're embodying some sort of alienation. They get a row of people and they paint on their chests and say,
Starting point is 00:21:36 Go Satan! Or whatever they're into. Or like it and then they get all jumbled up and it just says go Santa for a while standard formation or don't do it at all guys saggy talks I don't know I don't know I added a Y in there
Starting point is 00:21:57 there's a Y wandered in from some other group FC UK London guys it's supposed to be fuck London no it's not it's french connection oh shit french connection is the metal line yeah metal guys i just got that i get it fc uk well i feel like that was uh that was in some paper like that that was banned at a high school the kids weren't yeah they weren't allowed to wear it because it was close enough to a swear word yeah i mean that's the thing they're getting this what about the gnaw on on that like a sith that's basically just shit right that's just mixed around like if you were
Starting point is 00:22:32 wearing a shirt that said sith on it you're a big big ship taking a big ship and it's a couple hands picking up a ship you're not gonna get away with that i remember in my high school we uh uh there was like a handbook on what you weren't allowed to wear or and it wasn't even what you weren't allowed to wear but it was like you uh you weren't allowed to have drug paraphernalia and what is like like a bong stitched into a shirt that's the thing everyone was like this was at a time when like, I don't know, I assume this still exists, where like you would wear a t-shirt that said blunt on it. Or a t-shirt that had like a picture of a guy eating a doobie or whatever. Whatever you need to do.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Eating a doobie sandwich. Doobie hoagie. A doagie. He was chomping down on a big old doobie sandwich. Doobie hoagie. A doagie. He was chomping down on a big old doagie. And I remember kids freaking out like, oh man,
Starting point is 00:23:31 I'm going to get kicked out of school for wearing my shirt? I don't think that's what paraphernalia is. Oh, yeah. Like when cops do a raid
Starting point is 00:23:39 and they're like, look at all these shirts. Kids could snort drugs off of my shirt, right? Get them out of here it's funny because uh pot is the only drug that really has like a like shirts that go with it like there's no like cocaine shirts there's no uh there's no sniff stores around yeah um the what was the rule there was a rule about uh that I think was a rule written in the 70s that nobody was allowed to have shorts.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Like you had to – they had to be fingertip length on your thigh and it was for men and women. And I was like, I don't think there's any men that were wearing – like that would have been a Daisy Duke. It couldn't be longer than that? Oh, it was about to be shorter. It couldn't be shorter. So you had your hands at your sides. At your sides, yeah. and then the end of your fingertips was how long that's a rule of thumb that's a good rule yeah yeah absolutely but uh but i don't know we always thought it was really funny because if a guy wore shorts that short it would just kind of be self-punishing like
Starting point is 00:24:41 there was no need to write that your pockets are hanging down the bottom of your uh your cutoff your gym teacher's just like cutting them shorter like sorry sorry jim you got real short arms i don't know what to tell you oh yeah what if you went to tyrannosaurus school they're inverse shorts they actually like fold them up and over up onto your torso. Yeah, I don't remember. Oh, do you remember? I think it was in Fahrenheit 9-11 or maybe Bowling for Columbine. Or maybe Sicko.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Or maybe Sicko. There was a thing about kids wearing baggy jeans and a shirt. And then it was this kid that had all these guns in his pocket. Yeah, that was Bowling for Columbine. Yeah, and then he pulls out does he pull it like a shotgun oh man together pool cue yet sharking yeah yeah pool sharking for Columbine did so why didn't you get into metal in high school what Why didn't you get into medical school? Yeah, what happened to that? First, your question, Graham. The reason I didn't get into metal
Starting point is 00:25:52 is a lot of visual humor for podcast people. He was trying to figure out guar all of a sudden. I couldn't figure out guar. Am I going to go to metal? Plus, there weren't any friends that I had that listened to metal. Those are the most extreme people I could sidle up to was Primus and guar i feel like metal is aimed directly at a high school boy yeah it really is it's just like prepubescent like a like rage and like being
Starting point is 00:26:14 mad at all the convenience that your parents afford you're like oh why is everything so easy my parents expect me to do things because it's easy and they just grow up and they just keep doing that keep feeling that way um yeah would you be unsettled if you found out that you had a doctor that listened to heavy metal it depends on the type of doctor it's a proctologist yes i will be here all morning david with weather up in three oh Oh, God, I got three minutes to come up with the weather. Where's the window? Dave up in three with the nervous weather. The raining, I think, and... Clouds.
Starting point is 00:27:01 It's so dark out, hard to see. clouds so dark out hard to see um so uh that's what i do when i get nervous by the way uh so comic books and heavy metals anything else that's about it drugs masturbating yeah that seems like a like a high school special. I mean, comic books and metal. Masturbating is one thing I never put down. I'm really getting back into it.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Yeah, when I was in high school, I was doing it all the time. I found it wasn't cool to do it at school. You seemed a little brainy. Yeah. I could never figure out what it was all about. I never knew how it ended so i uh couldn't quite get yeah i couldn't get my head around masturbating yeah um yeah well so like name can you name a uh a masturbation position yeah yeah sure the the sleeping dolphin
Starting point is 00:28:01 the sad elephant do they sleep? The broken coral. Well, they have to at some point. They're not sharks, don't? Do dolphins dream? But dolphins are... Dolphins are mammals. Yeah, they're mammals.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Oh, I read something today that they apparently have just found out that they actually can call out specific signals. Yeah. They actually taste great. A little bit of wasabi mayo? Specific signals? a cove um so they call specific signals for specific like friend dolphins that are lost so like a specific dolphin is like missing they'll call a specific oh so they're not just saying hey hey herald hey where's some fish yeah they say they say tired oh so they'll say like yeah hey herald they won't say hey any dolphin come join us.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Hey, that dolphin wasn't a dick to me. It's like, no, hey, where's Harold? But how would dolphins know when a dolphin showed up? Because they all look the same. Wouldn't they be like, hey, I'm Harold? That does sound like something Harold would say. Yeah, I didn't read that far into the article. I gave up when I had to stop pooing. Yeah, I didn't read that far into the article. Yeah, it's like...
Starting point is 00:29:05 I gave up when I had to stop pooing. Doo-doo, masturbation humor, I'm back, folks. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'll be clean for the rest of the episode. Yeah, well, welcome back to your high school days. Oh, yeah. I hope you get some closure. I feel like there was something you were going to ask him,
Starting point is 00:29:23 and then we got into the sleeping dolphin prom I'm getting back into prom oh I was going to ask if you what are some names of heavy metal bands oh uh is this a test oh you're into heavy metal eh that's you
Starting point is 00:29:36 you don't know what was the one that I talked about there was like a Norwegian one where the guy... Oh, I heard about that. I don't know which one. I think they voted for his picture to be on the side of an airplane. Was that the guy who murdered the other person?
Starting point is 00:29:51 I didn't murder him. Burned down the church or something like that. Yeah, like his friend killed himself and then he took a picture and made that the photo album. Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. Made the album cover out of it. Yeah, some big time black metal guy shot himself and turned it down. I heard that. Yeah, that's crazy. There was a murder in that story as well. Yeah, some big time black metal guy like shot himself and yeah, turned him down. Yeah, that's crazy. There was a murder
Starting point is 00:30:07 in that story as well. Yeah, he... There's a different guy. There was a different... There's like two leaders of two different like huge black metal groups and like one
Starting point is 00:30:14 murdered the other in some way. Now he's in prison. Yeah. Oh, man. He's a huge metal guy. What did that happen in like...
Starting point is 00:30:20 Country music? Yeah, country music or pop. Like, oh, the lead singer of Fun killed one of the Lumineers that would be more interesting it sure would it would really raise the stakes
Starting point is 00:30:34 he broke a vase over his head he strangled him with a vest he strangled him with a really nice bow tie you know what's strange is I'm surprised there wasn't a band called Fun until now. Well, this is Fun Period. It's Fun Period. It's Fun Period.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Oh, so there was... Fun Exclamation Point. Fun Tilda. Have a Happy Period. Fun Semicolon. Oh, I'm sorry. That's a real toilet dog, guys. Yeah, I'm a real...
Starting point is 00:30:58 I'm in charge of groaning today. Sorry. So, yeah. Wolves in the Throne Room. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, okay. Wolves in the throne room uh whoa whoa whoa yeah okay wolves in the where in the throne room that's not where they're supposed to be exactly dude it's black as fuck what is the throne room isn't that a bathroom? That's a toilet, right? No, it's not a throne room. It's about potty trained wolves. Wolves are also taking it out, but you can't get in there.
Starting point is 00:31:32 They are not going to let you in. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wolves are using the Dyson Airblade is what it's called. But even then, it's like if you're a king and you have a castle, you call the room with your throne, the throne room? Yeah, the throne room. Do you not have a better name for that? Like, Jesterland? I don't know what you do when you're on your throne.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Think, hear complaints. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Have a heavy head. Fight wolves. Get entertained. Have somebody put poison in your ear. No, wait. That's when you're sleeping, right?
Starting point is 00:32:02 So when wolves are in the throne room that means things are bad. Things are getting bad. Things are going back to nature. It's kind of like The Grey, but if Liam Neeson was a king. Because King Arthur meets The Grey. So like the wolves have gotten past the guards. They've gotten past the moat.
Starting point is 00:32:20 So it's safe to assume that they have armor on and snorkels. They're getting in there They're getting to that throne room And then they're having that same conversation They get there and they're like What do we do here Do they want to rule?
Starting point is 00:32:32 Do they want to be in charge? Or was there a lion That was from Bootylicious Yeah like cause wolves aren't It's lions are the king So wolves aren't uh it's lions are the king right so wolves aren't equipped they're real loners uh no they're not they're pack animals oh that's right why do people always say he's a real lone wolf because that's weird that's a weird thing yeah like it's like normal to be a pack yeah yeah yeah it's a little someone who's on the outside
Starting point is 00:33:01 who doesn't really not really well adjusted yeah all right. So wolves in the cloakroom. Yeah. Wolves at the coat check. Wolves with a cubbyhole. There's that one. There's deaf heaven. Oh, yeah? D-E-F?
Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah, D-E-A-F. Oh, okay. So like... I arrived and I can't hear my in-laws. Thank goodness. That would actually be hell. That's like a burn on your band you're like, oh, we're like heaven for the deaf we're fine
Starting point is 00:33:35 just Graham blew up take it again so, death heaven and what else? who's the hot uh hot death is death metal black metal black metal yeah i'm still learning all the other ones i'm sticking to one there's so many different kinds there's like sludge and doom there's all different kinds doom like the video game gluten gluten-free yeah gluten-free metal sure we don't like bread
Starting point is 00:34:03 muffins cookies Free metal We don't like bread Muffins Cookies More bread Look out for cakes There's I'm trying to think of other ones Because I've just been given a bunch Those are like the two that I've been listening to a lot of
Starting point is 00:34:19 I think there's one called Mayhem And they have a song I haven't even listened to it yet Called Chainsaw Guts Fuck. Why are you waiting for it? That should have been the first one. Sounds ridiculous. It sure does. Wasn't Mayhem the name of
Starting point is 00:34:35 a bad guy organization on Mask or something? Yeah. I think it was Mask. Yeah, that makes sense what was mask was that like was the mobile assault hospital for super death heavens yeah i don't remember what mask was what was it uh robots yeah there was a robot involved okay all right yeah it's like they would have uh like a car that would turn into like a submarine or a motorcycle that would turn the mom what's that nothing share played the mom yeah eric's
Starting point is 00:35:10 told yeah well done nobody i did not i do not know that one um i'm into black metal not sure there's a difference like what what is that like you you've realized it was all just like slowed down and fucked up Cher songs that you were listening to. Oh yeah. I'd be like yeah that is impressive. I got impressed by that trickery. That was a pretty good voice Dave.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Not bad at all. For a guy who doesn't listen to black metal. Yeah and slowed down auto-tune. It's tough to do. It's pretty hard to do. But you did, you rose to the occasion Well, I'm glad you're Confronting your demons from high school Literally Yeah, I am In true blue demon style
Starting point is 00:35:58 Thanks guys What are you up to, Graham? Hey Graham, what's up with you? Why don't we do you next um well because uh truth be told not a lot not a lot happening with me uh one thing that was that's great we're all uh we're all sitting around drinking uh various beverages uh contained within Hulk Hogan Beach Shop Beer Koozies from Clearwater, Florida. Yeah. And courtesy of past guest Steve Bays.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Yes, he went down there for a vacation. He went to the direct flight Vancouver to Clearwater, Florida. Yeah, direct flight to Hogan's Beach Shop. Yeah, door to door. door uh and uh i saw uh steve and his uh his wife kaylin at uh um the laugh gallery on monday and they uh purchased for me at the uh at the hogan's beat shop an autographed uh photo of hulk hogan oh wow that uh came with a certificate of authenticity and a hologram sticker that you stick on, I guess you stick on the picture to show people like, this is a real...
Starting point is 00:37:12 This is from the shop. This is from the shop. This is really signed by Hulk Hogan. They gave you the hologram separately? Yeah, like you can put it on the thing or not. I put it on almost immediately. Yeah, that seems weird. You could just put that on anything.
Starting point is 00:37:24 You could put that on your computer and be like, oh, this is a Hulk Hogan certified laptop. Put it on a carton of milk. On a piece of toilet paper. Well, and there it goes. Why? It's the first ephemeral thing I could think of. What's ephemeral? It doesn't exist for a while.
Starting point is 00:37:43 Yeah, sure. Anyway, so that's pretty great. I've never, except for an autographed picture of Dom DeLuise, I've never owned a piece of memorabilia that's like an official thing that I can vouch for. That's weird. You seem like you would. Yeah, I have a lot of things, but I have no way of vouching that they were signed by that person or whatever. I think I've described at the Vancouver flea market, there's a guy with a whole wrestling stand. And one of the things he has for sale is an autographed knee brace from the Honky Tonk Man.
Starting point is 00:38:17 And there's no way you would fake that. That's true. And it would be hard to fake because he's got a very distinct signature. Yeah. It's got music notes on it. Yeah, at the end of it, it'll shape like because he's got a very distinct signature. Yeah. It's got music notes on it. Yeah, at the end of it, it'll shape like a guitar. Honky is misspelled. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:30 His, I was thinking about that the other night about like, because, you know, there was like a time when gimmicks were like a big, big part of wrestling. Like you had to have... A snake. Yeah, a snake. And Honky Tonk Man's gimmick was probably the most expensive because he would smash a guitar on a guy's head yeah but it was a cheap fake guitar i know but you'd have to get like you could just get they don't sell those in stores that's for sure yeah
Starting point is 00:38:56 although they maybe do in like a uh like a stunt shop yes oh how much fun would go into a stunt shop how fun would it be to go to a stunt shop and then just continually fall into everything? Oh, I'm sorry. Put planes and complete glass and concrete balsa wood tables. Yeah. Do they have like a sign that says, you break it, you bought it? Or is it like... You break it, you stunt it.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. You break it. That's just testing it out. You break it, you bought it. You bought it. Now you break it. That's what you do with like in a guitar center where you play the guitar, you just take a fake guitar and you try to smash it on your friend's face.
Starting point is 00:39:29 You just crack it over someone. And they go, yep. I like the way they're broke. I'll take, I'll take it. Sounds great. Sounds great.
Starting point is 00:39:35 But yeah, honky tonk man. I know I went and saw him wrestle like six years ago. Yeah. Wow. And yeah, he doesn't break the guitar anymore. Right.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Like takes it out, plays it for a couple seconds, puts it back in the case. Wipes it down with a nice micro microfiber shammy, puts it back in the case. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah,
Starting point is 00:39:55 it's like of the possible gimmicks. I mean, he could have just, you know, had the guitar and just played it at the beginning of a match, thrown like a piano key at someone. Or like, strangle them with piano wire.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Or piano keys on a piano wire. A whole piano apparatus stuck together. He just brings a whole piano up and just breaks it down a little bit. Takes it all out. Sprinkles them with a piano. With 88 keys. Yeah, he brings out a piano. He just keys the side of the piano with a key.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yeah, he's very meta. What are the other gimmicks? There's Snake Man. There's Guitar Man. Condor Man. Bubble Man. Who was the guy who used to throw poems out on frisbees?
Starting point is 00:40:43 Shakespeare Man. Ultimate Shakespeare Man. Ultimate Shakespeare Man. the guy who used to throw poems out on frisbees shakespeare man shakespeare ultimate shakespeare man ultimate shakespeare they just like keep adding he's ultimate shakespeare man no wait super ultimate shakespeare man okay he's ultimate shakespeare man basketball man slam dunk some basketball after he throws the thing the poem on it so we have man in there twice yeah shakespeare man basketball man twice the man he had to you have to say it twice yeah uh well there was uh there was a guy rick the model martel and he had a perfume no canister that he would come out and he would spray all around and the name of the
Starting point is 00:41:19 perfume was arrogance but it was like a bug spray yeah rick the model yeah he just comes in and tries out a different motto at the end my motto is i never lose a match is that is that gonna happen i don't know today's motto everybody is be good to each other and yourselves there was a guy called the mountie and he had a cattle prod that he would like Prod a guy with at the end of the match like prod how up his butt As the Mountie does and electrocute you to death yeah, it was I don't think it was anything I think it was just a stick mm-hmm Then the guy would act like he was being shocked but and then there was a big boss man He had a nightstick that he would hit you in the face with.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Some of these are more weapon-y. Honky Tonk Man broke a guitar over your head. That's true, but that's not a weapon usually. Usually it's an object of peace. That's true. Yeah, this machine kills fascists or whatever. Did you say fashions? Fascists. I meant to say fascists. This machine kills fascists. Did you say fashions? Fascists.
Starting point is 00:42:25 I meant to say fascists. This machine kills fashion. I love it. The Brutus the Barber Beefcake used to cut his opponent's hair after they lost a match. And then the best guy was Ravishing Rick Rude. He would pick a woman out of the crowd and bring her into the ring and smooch her until she passed out. But that wasn't a weapon. Yeah, it was.
Starting point is 00:42:49 He could knock women out. Left, right, center. Sucking the air out of her lungs and then holding it in. And she was like, what? And then passed out. And he was like, That seems like something you'd do in high school.
Starting point is 00:43:01 That's what ravishing means, right? How screwed up is our idea of sexuality because of watching wrestling? Well, I still assume if a lady doesn't pass out at the end of a smooch that I've done it wrong. Yeah. If she's still standing at the end of making out, then I'm like, we don't have the chemistry. Why are you making out standing up? You guys don't? Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:43:28 I'm going to put this all backwards. Yeah, you got a cool time zone. So anyways, I got that autographed tall Kogan picture. Have you hung it, framed it? I haven't got a frame for it yet because I just got it a couple nights ago. But I'm actually going to get it put in a proper, not just going to buy a piece of shit frame. I'm really going to get a real frame and hang it up on a real wall using a real nail.
Starting point is 00:43:55 All authentic Hulk Hogan. All with holograms on them. Yeah, exactly. It says that in the instructions. We recommend that you only hang this Using a Hulk Hogan approved nail Dave what's going on with you? Not a lot But here's the thing I noticed
Starting point is 00:44:12 We've been talking a lot about women today And pantsuits It's the 90s And last week on the show we talked about The boat show that was in town Yes And the water Aw awake boarding dog, not the water boarding dog.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Tell us the truth. I don't understand you. What do you want? Do you want a treat? That's all the dog wants is a treat. Do you want to go for a car ride? Do you want me to blow on your face? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Do you want to go for a car ride? Do you want me to blow on your face? Have you ever been to a show, like a trade show like that? Yes. I went to, I've been to a couple. Because I've been to like wedding shows, which are great. I went to one years ago. I went to like this weird sex trade show.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Oh right. And you had to perform? You were performing there. Yeah. Your sex show. Yeah I had to perform. I had to perform fellatio.
Starting point is 00:45:14 I called it Graham Crackers. Have you ever told this story on the show? About playing it there and getting paid in weird pornography. Did they tell you
Starting point is 00:45:23 they were going to pay you with human money? No. That was a real surprise bang bucks um you could spend these practically nowhere try giving to a girl she will slappy yeah and then you won't get to make her pass out under the power of your smooches. I feel like that's the only... I feel like when I was a kid, I went to a car show with a friend whose dad was a real car nut.
Starting point is 00:45:54 But I was like, not much here for me, being a 13-year-old and all. I went to a... You can't drive. 13-year-olds like cars, I think. Yeah, sure. Have you been to any of these, Kevin? No. I think I may have been to a car show also when I was young and uninterested.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Yeah, right? Yeah. Because they're not... At the car show, I went a few years ago, and you pay to get in and basically get to look at cars that people are trying to sell you. Yeah. So it's like going to... Like a car lot?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Yeah, basically. Except that it's every new car like it's like going to 10 car lots but only seeing the good stuff um do they have at these car shows uh what are they called like concept cars yeah sometimes oh yeah because that's to me that's the draw like here's a car that will never exist is that why you went to the the sex shows the concept dildos but i uh i heard an ad on the radio um for because i've been i haven't been to a boat show but i've been to a like an interior design show a wedding show and a car show and you have to pay to get into all of these and they're just people selling you stuff once you get in. So it's a weird concept. But I heard an ad on the radio for the West Coast Women's Show.
Starting point is 00:47:10 Oh. And I did not know what was up with this. And as three men, I think we are certainly cut out to talk about it. Yeah, let's finally tackle this topic. The people putting it together, I'm not sure they know what they're doing either. It's Axe Body Spray.
Starting point is 00:47:32 I looked up what's happening at the West Coast Women's Show. It's three days long. Okay. And, you know, there's people appearing for one day. But every day,
Starting point is 00:47:43 there will be a Tina Turner impersonator. What? Did this person just go to Wikipedia and type in women? Let's go straight to the tease.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Here's a picture of a woman, Tina Turner. I looked her up. She's very expensive. Can we get someone who looks like her? Oh, doesn't she, she like renounced her US citizenship? She lives in Switzerland. Switzerland. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah. Really? And has done for like a long time, right? Yeah. She, Phil Collins, Shania Twain. What? Phil Collins? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:20 All the big Swiss. Oh, wow. Folks. Roger Moore. Roger Moore. They could really put on like a, impromptu concert. Steve from Blue's Clues. Yeah, if they ever need to raise money for their bank accounts.
Starting point is 00:48:34 For their wealth. So every day, that was part of the ad. No matter which day you go. Well, the ad had a few different people, but I actually went and looked up what else was happening. It was a West coast women's show because i i don't even know what like who goes to women i guess or people looking for a while exactly want to find out yeah what women are all about what women want oh yeah daily screenings of the mel gibson hit what women want no there's actually a live staging with uh impersonators mel gibson turner playing the helen hunt yeah and then they get together do a mad max revival
Starting point is 00:49:10 the little girl from growing pains that's the best yeah um uh okay so there's that yeah uh there's a martini night okay oh yeah that's the. That seems very... There is a... Something. A fashion show. Okay. Hosted by the DJ from Ellen. I'm confused. What is that? What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:49:35 On Ellen? What are those words? You know the show Ellen? Yeah. Where she dances. Yeah. The guy who plays the music she dances to. Oh, is he a thing?
Starting point is 00:49:43 He's a DJ Tony. Oh, DJ Tony. That's very friendly sounding. There is autograph sessions with daytime Young and the Restless stars. Like, basically, they think that women just stay home all day and watch daytime TV. Judge Judy will be there. No, she won't.
Starting point is 00:49:59 No, she won't. Oh, my goodness. Because then, like, all of a sudden, I'm interested. The inventor of the Slap Chop will be there. Yeah. So. ITT Tech is also going to have a booth there.
Starting point is 00:50:11 And the other thing. Oh, there will be the sexy firemen. Firemen will be there. Oh, will they really? Yeah. So this is a dumb women's conference. Yeah. It's like a conference for like. It's not a conference. I don't even know. Oh no, it's not a conference. It's like a conference for...
Starting point is 00:50:25 It's not a conference. I don't even know... Oh, no, it's not a conference. I was looking at the website and I was like, there'll be booths offering free samples and the only booth it showed was... I don't know if this is an international company, but it's a company called Dandy Pack.
Starting point is 00:50:39 They sell nuts. Yeah. They sell gummies and nuts. That's right. Yeah, they're kind of like... So Tina Turner Impressionist is going to have a lot of, like, crunching and empty dandy pack bags thrown at her head. At her legs.
Starting point is 00:50:55 At her legs. Yeah. Oh, man, they're fantastic. Those legs. Were there any other things that they said what the booths would be? No, I didn't say what the booths... Only confirmed booths? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Dandy Packs the other one. Because the... I mean, women are like 50% of the population. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is 100% of their interests. Yeah. Dandy Packs and Tina Turner. Dandy Packs, Tina Turner, and the Month of Firemen.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Like, we've only got the stars of The Young and the Restless for one day, but Tinaer will be there every day ladies don't worry not really tina turner don't get your hopes up yeah oh does she have a like a clever name like a shania twin no it wasn't even good it was like in between a turn not bad yeah that's good. I'm sorry. Well, she's transgender. In between a Turner? Yeah, Canada's only transgender Tina Turner. In between a Turner. I think it would be like Canada's 14th. Oh, sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Wow, yeah, because I would imagine there's going to be like, you know, there's going to be a booth that sells designer scarves. P pantsuits. Oh, it's going to be a lot of scarves. Brooches. Yeah, oh, brooches, absolutely. Ethical dandy bags. Photographs of Tina Turner. When is the women's show? I don't think it's this coming weekend. I think it's the following weekend the first weekend of march you guys should do like a uh on on the scene like report like yeah bring
Starting point is 00:52:28 on location for the women's show yeah stop podcast yourself on location at the women's show i would be very uh i i don't know who goes to trade shows in general like except like for a car show it's all dudes that like cars yeah more people looking for a car. But who goes to a boat show? Not people who are looking for a boat. Yeah, totally. My girlfriend, her dad lives on a boat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Really? Yeah, and marketed this composting
Starting point is 00:52:56 toilet for boats. She had to work the boat show a couple years, like last year or the year before. Is this why you're so interested in toilets? This is why I'm so interested in my girlfriend seriously that's one of the first things she told me and i was like i like this yeah she just blurted it out and i'm like it's promising yeah yeah um yeah and she just said it was yeah it's people who are interested like they have boats and they want to like trick them
Starting point is 00:53:24 out i think probably the same as for um cars and i, yeah, it's people who are interested. Like, they have boats and they want to, like, trick them out. I think probably the same is for cars. And I think the same is for people who own women. Want to bring them down there and trick them out? Should they be next? Trick them out, yeah, sure. Spoiler on there. Oh, there will be. Put a composting toilet on your woman.
Starting point is 00:53:37 I've looked up. I've opened up the website of this abomination. And it's apparently happening on a made-up holiday called Mother and Daughters Day. Oh, finally. When do daughters get their day? Every day is Daughters Day. When are fathers going to get their day?
Starting point is 00:53:55 Oh, shit. Father's and son's day, huh? I work in a mill so you can have your fancy dandy packs whenever you want. I work in a mill. My son works in a mill. You can have your fancy dandy packs whenever you want. I work in a mill. My son works in a mill. You guys get your dandy packs?
Starting point is 00:54:09 We work in a dandy pack mill. We work in the dandy pack mill. Milling dandy pack nuts. You think those peanuts show themselves? Yeah, my son are doing it. Like a couple of idiots. Oh, okay. So I went to this...
Starting point is 00:54:20 A couple of elephants? It's truly Tina. Truly Tina. Truly Tina. Okay, that's good. Yeah. But it's not. No Tina. Truly Tina. Okay, that's good. Yeah. But it's not. No, God, no.
Starting point is 00:54:28 Yeah. And it's happening at the convention center? At the Canada place? This is one of these things. Yeah. The Greek center. Yeah, it's happening at the Greek cultural center. The Hellenic Hall.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Are there like a comic book convention? People don't dress up like different... Yeah. the Hellenic Hall are there like a comic book convention people don't dress up like women famous women, Madeline Albright Leia slave Madeline Albright Barney the Dinosaur
Starting point is 00:54:58 no one knew, that's a woman Snuffleupagus the female transformer, whichever one that one was oh, pantsuit, a pantsuit. Into a pantsuit that a woman puts on. Oh, man. Oh, man, we're dumb. She's the only pink one.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Very big woman. Smurfette. Yep. A lot of universes. Joy Behar. Yeah. The Vancouver Women's Show. Oh, they should get, You know how they get...
Starting point is 00:55:27 There's that guy... What's his name? The Amazing Christopher. Who's that? He's a guy who dresses up as the... He's one guy, but he... Through the power of stilts or... Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Or poles. He's the Jackson 5. He's the Jackson 5 or village people. Were you going to say he should be the view? He should be the view. That would be amazing. They're fighting back and forth. But he still just does it
Starting point is 00:55:54 to YMCA. He's like, I don't have a new act. I just bought some new wigs for my Village People costumes. There's just the sound of wild dogs tearing like a piece of meat or something like that and putting it over top of Village People. Every time I do it in a video, it's just like I can't understand what anyone's saying. They're all yelling at each other about something.
Starting point is 00:56:18 It's like the black metal of daytime TV. Actually, I like it. I didn't get it when I was a teenager. If I put some double bass drum chugging guitars underneath just episodes of The View, I can definitely
Starting point is 00:56:32 listen to that while I'm working. Yeah, it would be a fun modern art piece. That would, yeah. Yeah. That'd be great. But you'd have to
Starting point is 00:56:40 change their name to something dark. It would just be The View. The View from Satan's butt. Yeah, The View. The View from Hell. The View from Satan's Butt. Yeah, The View into Satan's Butt.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Or from Satan's Butt. The View from my apartment in Hell. The Roommate from Hell. Problem Child. These are all good black metal names. Problem Child's a really good black metal name. Yeah, right? Parenthood.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah. Clifford. Oh, guys, let's move on to Overheard, shall we? Let's try. Overheard. Overheard's things that while you're strolling down the street taking a bus. Strolling down the street and taking a bus. Yeah. strolling down the street taking a bus talking. He's strolling down the street and taking a bus. When you've just made your
Starting point is 00:57:27 big first appearance out of Satan's puddle. You've got your ears wide open. The world is your oyster. Wait, wait, wait. Before we move on to Overhertz, it's time for my favorite segment on the show. A segment called
Starting point is 00:57:42 Fanta Tweets. Now, Fanta Tweets. You seem very unsure. I forgot if we have any of these. Fanta Tweets is a segment on the show, Kevin. I don't know if you've
Starting point is 00:57:56 heard it before. I haven't heard this one. It's very popular. It's real hit and miss. It is the Fanta Corporation. Fanta Corp. They operate a Twitter account called Fanta Fun. At Fanta Corporation. Fanta Corp. They operate a Twitter account called Fanta Fun.
Starting point is 00:58:08 At Fanta Fun. And every one of their tweets is a... Do you know what Fanta is? Yeah, it's like an orange drink. It's orange, it's strawberry, it's grape. They make a cream soda. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Creamed soda. Yeah. One of the cream sodas. They cream a mean soda. Not to mention my jeans. And they also make a hell of a Twitter account with some
Starting point is 00:58:36 tweets in it. And every one of these tweets has a hashtag. And sometimes the hashtag has nothing to do with anything. Sometimes it has everything to do with everything. Sometimes the tweet has nothing to do with anything. Sometimes it has everything to do with everything. Sometimes the tweet has nothing to do with Fanta. What I do in this segment
Starting point is 00:58:51 is I name the hashtag and you guys have to guess the tweet. Now Dave, before we proceed with this well-explained segment, it's time for my favorite segment. Hulk Hogan News. It favorite segment Hulk Hogan news It's a Hulk Hogan news
Starting point is 00:59:06 Actually this week We do have another user submitted Theme song for this Let's hit it Right before we actually do that It's part of my favorite segment A segment called Satan's butthole What happens in that segment
Starting point is 00:59:22 It's a Satan's butthole Fiery farts So we're inside Satan's butthole. And what happens in that segment? It's a Satan's butthole. It's a Satan's butthole. Fiery farts. So we're inside Satan's butthole. You guys put a bunch of Foley in here. It's hot. Fart. And so I'm going to name some of the things I've seen.
Starting point is 00:59:38 You have to guess what Satan ate yesterday. Hitler. Yep. I was going to say Hitler mustache and you win. Okay, segment's over. He ate about 40 Hitlers. He ate a Hitler Coke. He ate some Hitler faux.
Starting point is 00:59:52 There's a duck or a baby suckling on a... There's a baby over there suckling on a little... Rosemary's baby. Yeah, Rosemary's baby sucking on some rosemary. Uh-huh. Oh, there's a dove being eaten by a seagull. Oh, they're having sex. Sorry. There's Ravish and Rick Rude came in and is kissing that seagull.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Damn you, Satan. Satan's neighbor. Satan's neighbor, Mr. Roper. His landlord. Oh, Satan, I'll get you. Okay, I'm sorry. That segment's over. Do you want to hear the new theme song?
Starting point is 01:00:25 I do. For Hulk Hogan-oos? Yeah. Dave, may I interrupt you? Only if you tell me to shut up. Now, Graham, shut up. You shut up, Dave. There's something magic in the air.
Starting point is 01:00:34 Push your face. Uh-huh. Hulk Hogan news. Hulk Hogan news. Are you a fan of Hulk Hogan? It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news.
Starting point is 01:00:43 It's Hulk Hogan news. Wow. the Hulk Hogan News. It's the Hulk Hogan News. It's Hulk Hogan News. Wow. That's great. Yeah. Who was that? Sweet beat. Oh, that one? That was by Sam J.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Sam J. Thanks for the awesome theme. Now, this week. Yeah, we asked for the Hulk Hogan News, not the Hulk Hogan weather. It's rain and leg drops? Guys, Hulk Hogan... Hulk-a-loo-ya. He opened not just a gift shop, but he also opened a restaurant.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Yeah, a breast-rant, I've described it as. That's right, because it's going to be like Hooters times a million or something like that. What? That's too much. Yeah, that's too many. Like, Hooters times two is perfect. Yeah, actually, yeah. That's the Hooters I want to go to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Times a million?
Starting point is 01:01:38 Oof. Right? Yeah. Oy. So, on New Year's Eve, this was when they opened up the restaurant And there were Oh god what a terrible New Year's Eve What do you want to do on New Year's Eve Let's go to the restaurant
Starting point is 01:01:56 Hulk Hogan is opening Sorry the breast-ron is opening So this is the thing It hasn't really been reviewed Like there was a lot of press when it opened. But somebody on Twitter, Brian Kelly on Twitter, sent me a link to the Tampa Bay newspaper's actual food review of the restaurant. It's in Tampa Bay? It is.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Yeah, it used to be a place called Krabby Bill's. Right, you told us this. At the Best Western Bay Harbor Hotel. Oh, that is a good hotel. Yeah. Anytime I'm in Tampa Bay, when not committing suicide, I like to stay. When not drowning myself in an inch of water. So the food, according to this review review is a train wreck and the three menus
Starting point is 01:02:48 incoherently jumbled three menus and a baby three menus the physical menu is a good indicator of the care currently taken several pages of copier paper are stapled their only embellishment the odd spill footprint or dog-eared corner. Footprint? Make these look real beaten up. This is the kind of restaurant where you can just throw your menus on the floor. Hulk Hogan will come by and stomp on them. So during dining, this reviewer was scratched by ripped vinyl in the booth. So this is a four-week-old restaurant. And if you call the restaurant and are put on hold,
Starting point is 01:03:28 the recording still gives you details about Krabby Bills. I love it. There's no host at the door. Servers don't know what's going on. In what regard? Why are my boots so big? How did I end up in this restaurant? I just got gassed in a van.
Starting point is 01:03:48 Now I got a job here in Florida. I used to belong to Crabby Bill. I went to this women's convention. I didn't learn much from Tina Turner. There's the food itself. I strongly suspect that a number of dishes are straight off the back of a Cisco truck. Cisco? Yeah, the C-Y-S-C-O. strongly suspect that a number of dishes are straight off the back of a Cisco truck. Pork pot. Cisco? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:06 The, you know, like C-Y-S-C-O. The guy that wrote the song. The thong song. Shrimps or shrimp cocktail. Anyways, they said that the food is not great. On my last visit, I asked the waiter. Multiple visits?
Starting point is 01:04:23 This guy really hates it. Yeah, this guy really wants to be taught a lesson. My last visit, I asked the waiter about the patio menu, and he answered vaguely, I think they're adding pizza and sliders. You want to eat the patio? um so yeah uh it does say the one thing is a service serviceable meatloaf and a lush whiskey bread pudding uh so there you go just you know order the two the two things that you're already thinking the serviceable meatloaf means he was able to actually stuff it into the wound caused by the vinyl it got into his flank he like pressed meatloaf in there that's always a weird thing to see on a menu meatloaf yeah it's like when uh i feel the same way about like like a grilled cheese
Starting point is 01:05:12 or something it's like yeah isn't this something that like or it's like when you go into a shoe store and like in the men's section there's like a knee-high boot you're like whoa that's maybe i'll try it on i don't know that was that the same thing? That is completely... Yeah, that is weird. When you see that on the menu. Yeah, it's completely different. You're like, what is that doing there? I guess. It's a shoe.
Starting point is 01:05:31 It should be there. I guess. Some people might put that on. I don't know. But a knee-high boot isn't like a thing that your mom makes. Yes, your mom's specialty. Yeah, she does. My mom wears knee-high army boots.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Oh, yeah? Your mother is tank girl exactly um anyway so there you go hall cooking news uh serviceable meatloaf and a good whiskey bread pudding do you guys think you have any bumpers that live out there like in tampa bay yeah yeah i'm sure yeah you should get them sorry bad it out. Sorry we badmouthed your dumb city. Like, I've never been. I'll never go. Go Lightning. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Sure, yeah. Go Buccaneers. Yeah. Go Raymond James Stadium. Go Best Westerns. Go Sweating. Yeah, go Alligator. Go Alligator Mall.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Go Alligators that wander the street. Yeah, go Humidity. And the bathroom alligator was absolutely rude. Yeah, the menu's got spills and chomp. Yeah, chomp marks everywhere. Alligator eggs. Oh, I think, okay, so it's time for Fanta Tweets. Fanta Tweets.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Yeah, whatever. Can you explain this again? Okay. I'm just kidding. Hashtag surprised. What is the Fanta tweet? Hashtag surprised. Oh, just found out I was adopted.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Got our 30th follower. got our 30th follower the Fanta fun tweet was Fanta surprise shake a bottle of Fanta and give it to your friend hashtag surprised oh Jesus hashtag former friend hashtag disappointed
Starting point is 01:07:22 hashtag high school games. Oh. High school games. Put a bunch of mushrooms in your Fanta, shake it up, drink it during class, and barf on the volleyball net like Quark. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. You agree? Yeah. I'm gonna go with kevin's guess uh the actual tweet was friday night football who's winning hashtag high school games oh yeah they want to know everyone who's winning a high school
Starting point is 01:07:59 football game in america wow and checking phanta between touchdowns oh yeah yeah we are go wild cats yeah they dump phanta on the coach and he's like guys it's ruined it should have been hashtag phanta night lights oh yeah you should work at phanta clear eyes full stomachs of phanta stop drinking phanta uhag Fanta fruit slam. Oh, it's like a poetry slam, but... But you whip bottles of Fanta at each other. It's the float at the gay pride parade for Fanta. Pretty good.
Starting point is 01:08:37 The Fanta slam? Yeah. Yeah. Come play. Click this link for our brand new game. Fruit Ninja, but you just pour Fanta on fruits and flings. Can't lose. Splash it.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Just splash it. And finally, it's... Wait, no. Oh, boy. I almost spoiled the tweet. Hello? Okay. So this one has three hashtags.
Starting point is 01:09:00 A record. Wow. I don't even think it's allowed on Twitter. No. These guys are dangerous. It's excessive. Hashtag, you guys know that RTs are retweets? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Okay. Hashtag RTs for cats. Okay. Hashtag random. Uh-huh. Hashtag why not? Hashtag RTs for cats. RTs for cats.
Starting point is 01:09:24 Hashtag random. Hashtag random hashtag why not hey it is cat that's it that's the new york aid is cat hashtag retweet cats how about um we wish uh one of them had been named the Phantasler, referring to the musical cats. Hashtag cats the musical. Oh, there you go. I'm sorry, you're both wrong. Correct answer. Oh, I should have mentioned what day this was.
Starting point is 01:09:56 This was from the 4th of June. Would that have helped? Oh, Mother and Cats Day. The tweet is, it's National Hug-a-Cat Day. What? Let's pretend retweets are hugs. Hug away! Retweets for cats.
Starting point is 01:10:13 Random. Why not? So they are trying to say, Retweet them by hugging a... Hug a cat. Instead of hugs, we have retweets. Hug a cat, starve a fever. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:25 Starve a fever, save a child. Yeah, they're trying to get you to retweet their dumb thing. But you know what? Pretty creative, guys. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're outside the box. I'm going to get that 30th follower.
Starting point is 01:10:37 This has been Hulk Hogan News. Now, moving on to overheards. We like to start with the guest. Right. But we don't have to. Yeah. I preface this that I've been listening to too much black metal out on the streets. Can't hear a damn thing through that.
Starting point is 01:10:51 I haven't overheard anything. Except for that Guts Fuck, Chainsaw Guts Fuck or whatever name that song was. Overheard that. I really haven't overheard anything. When you listen on the streets, do you wear headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Oh, that's got to sound not so good. I feel like you need to have headphones on and just totally immerse yourself.
Starting point is 01:11:12 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The earbuds aren't so good. Black metal emergence there. I kind of get deep in there to feel the oppression. I get brutalized. Feel the bats flying at your face. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:23 Feel the spew. Feel the blood of my enemies Spew and blood of my enemies Collecting around my feet Yeah Yeah filling up my Collecting around the volleyball net Collecting
Starting point is 01:11:33 Filling up your knee high boots Exactly Very Very high ankles Oh man I've gotten ankles A real high Knee ankles
Starting point is 01:11:42 Boot You know when you're in a Like a A shoe store And you're in the men's section And there's like A knee high boot And you're when you're in a uh like a a shoe store and you're in the men's section and there's like a knee-high boot and you're like what is this meatloaf what is this meatloaf in a restaurant who made who wears these meatloaf the musical act yeah meatloaf a day calendar um the only close to overheard i have is at a show uh at a sunday service show it's not really an overheard but it was, they didn't mean to say it to me, I think.
Starting point is 01:12:08 And I was sitting on stage. There's no like curtain or anything like that. I was sitting there and somebody in the front table leaned into me and said, hey, when's the show supposed to start? 8.30 or 9? And I said, 9. He's like, oh, we've just been calling this girl stupid all this time. I was pointing to a girl across the table.
Starting point is 01:12:22 I was like, whoa, gotta get new friends. She's totally right. Awful. She just was like get new friends she's totally right she just was like uh-huh it's like if you're half an hour off you're not stupid yeah just oh nine o'clock you stupid asshole people talk to you like that just listen to some black metal yeah yeah exactly they understand this is a way to get your rage out yeah uh dave now have one no i don't oh that's right you said before you don't have one that's uh i have been having that uh that uh speaking of high school that sinking feeling of when you haven't uh done your homework or studied for a test and you uh you're on your underwear yeah well yeah you would uh so no i uh it's unprecedented i think maybe once in the past i haven't even come up
Starting point is 01:13:13 with one that i've like stolen from my wife well it's uh it's all on you graham it's all on me on youtube all right hail mary pass uh this Mary Pass. This is from two young men. And now here's the thing is this phrase that one of the men used I thought was long gone. I thought it was like a thing that didn't exist anymore. Yeah, you thought it was way out. Way out. Yeah. Scarlet Rubilla.
Starting point is 01:13:41 The one guy says to the other,'re both very very drunk um one guy says uh i was crumping so hard my legs are killing me to which his friend was uh said uh yeah but it was worth it though i was waiting for the word that was out of fashion but i guess it was crumping that's right i thought uh crumping was... Crumping is... Clown dancing. It's not necessarily clown dancing. Oh, go on. You don't have to dress as a clown to do it.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Oh, right. Okay. It's like crazy body jerking. Yeah, it's crazy body jerking, a la the David LaChapelle movie Rise. Yeah. That's fun. Which, I don't know what that... He was a comedian.
Starting point is 01:14:23 He had his own show on Comedy Central. That's right. You might remember... Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Which, I don't know what that... He was a comedian. He had his own show on Comedy Central. That's right. You might remember... Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Rick James' stories with Charlie Murphy. I know...
Starting point is 01:14:34 Did you ever see Rise? No. Of the Planet of the Apes? Oh, yeah. I saw that one. Crumping apes. Yeah. And they go to...
Starting point is 01:14:42 They put clown makeup on. Scary. No, but not all crumpers wear clown makeup on. Scary. No, but not all crumpers wear clown makeup. But all clowns wear crumping makeup. There you go. Yeah. Well, I get it now. So that's all the overheards this week, I guess.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Well, you'd think so. Except that there were people from around the world around the world yeah absolutely international yeah who have sent us their overheards if you want to be one of them peoples you can uh send it to stop podcast yourself at gmail.com and uh this first one uh comes to us from uh set. from Columbus, Ohio. Oh, I thought you were going to say Brazil. What? Like Columbia?
Starting point is 01:15:32 Yeah, Columbus, Columbia. On the continent of Brazil. Brazil. I overheard this walking through a cafe in our student union. Girl one, wow, that our student union. Girl one. Wow, that's really unfortunate. Girl two. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:48 Plus, all of his friends are named Bob. Literally all of them. That is really unfortunate. Yeah. Not one Robert in the bunch. What brought it up? Like, oh, I'm dating this guy. The good news is he's gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:16:01 The bad news is his name's Bob. Yeah. And. All of his friends are's Bob. Yeah. And. All of his friends are named Bob. Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know. Like, I don't have any friends named Bob. So to have all friends named Bob would be like a real coup.
Starting point is 01:16:19 Like, you could easily. I have some acquaintances named Bob. Acquaintances. I could see having all friends named Dave. Yeah. That seems like something that could happen. Or Steve. Right.
Starting point is 01:16:30 But Bob seems like a real out there. Matt? Matt? Yeah, Matt would be one. Yeah, Bob is a relic. Yeah. It's like crumping. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:38 Yeah. I just don't hear it anymore. You want to. Yeah, definitely. So name your kid Crumping. Wouldn't that be a good thing, though, is that she doesn't have to remember any of his friends' names. They're all just Bob. Except that he's going to tell stories, and he's not good at putting himself in her shoes.
Starting point is 01:16:55 So telling him which Bob is doing what. So then Bob said to Bob, hey, Bob, get your ass out of here, or Bob's going to come over here. And she's like which bob was which oh god i'm so sorry or she's talking to her friend she's like oh yeah bob and i slept last night i slept with each other last night she went oh my god you're cheating on bob no my bob no no i'm cheating on bob with bob yeah oh god that bob the one with the hair? No, bald bob Yeah It's even more confusing around Halloween When they go bobbing for bobs
Starting point is 01:17:30 Yeah, absolutely They drown them all Every year at harvest time Yeah, you have to, otherwise you're not going to get any apples Wicker man It's a real wicker man situation Wicker man conundrum Here in Columbus, Columbia Brazil wicker man it's a real wicker man situation wicker man conundrum here in columbus columbia
Starting point is 01:17:46 brazil uh this next one comes from alana uh who works at the university in winnipeg or at a university of winnipeg oh yeah keep the mystery alive uh one of the women's washrooms there was a piece of graffiti that originally said something like if you want cock call Al and then a phone number which I guess someone found offensive so it was changed to if you want to cook soup
Starting point is 01:18:15 call Al the chef and then the phone number that would be the best to be Al and be like no I'm not going to give you a cock And then hang up the next day Yeah I can make you some bisque I want to help you make bisque Finally I guess you're not the one ever writing that
Starting point is 01:18:33 Like for a good time call You're never calling You're not putting your own number You're not sneaking into the women's washroom And putting your own business card up on the wall Someone is putting your name and number on there. How much do you have to pay to get Because if you were doing it yourself, it would be so
Starting point is 01:18:50 inconvenient. Even if you wanted to give that appendage to every woman. Oh yeah, you're like, no, I mean, it's a good time, but it's a bad time. I'm hard right now, but I'm at the DMV. I can't, I'm sorry. Gross. I'm hard right now, but I'm at the DMV. I can't. I'm sorry. Oh. Gross.
Starting point is 01:19:06 Sorry. Gross. I'm real busy. Oh, man. You need it now. That's going to be the cure if I ever need to get rid of a boner in a hurry is the idea of Kevin saying I'm hard right now. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:19:18 That works for most people. Okay, guys. That's actually for any of you high school students oh people that's a good tip this isn't this isn't an 18a uh podcast no no we have a lot of high school student listeners and they suffer with inopportune is that a word uh ses sudden erection syndrome correction syndrome. Sis. Excuse me. Do you suffer from sis? This last one comes from Andre. Love it. Right? Good name.
Starting point is 01:19:54 More of those, please. And this, this Andre said, if you happen to read this, could you give a shout out to my mom, Erla? She's a huge fan of you guys. No, she just heard me talk about the DMV. Yeah, yeah. Erla's a big fan. I'm really mom, Erla. She's a huge fan of you guys. No, she just heard me talk about having a boner at the DMV. Yeah, yeah. Erla's a big fan. I'm really sorry, Erla.
Starting point is 01:20:09 I'm so sorry. Boner at the DMV. We don't have the DMV. So you'll go down to the people from Brazil. I was in Value Village today, and there were a couple teenagers walking around with their mother. I overheard the teen boy say, there's this website that has the most offensive t-shirt ever. It is literally a picture of a penis. Too extreme.
Starting point is 01:20:38 Yeah. I mean, that is a really offensive t-shirt. Oh, it's got to be on the high school dress code. That would be the t-shirt that would confuse the cops looking in for paraphernalia. They see all the pot shirts and they see a penis shirt and they're like, do we do something about that? I suppose you could snort coke off of it. I guess you could turn that into a bong. But yeah, no, that is like, a kid's not wrong. that's one of the most offensive shirts i've ever seen
Starting point is 01:21:08 oh yeah i've ever seen oh no i admit it i've seen it to be fair you saw the guy was wearing a v-neck sweater and there's just a head like poking out the top like i can infer there's some bad happening over there um that would be offensive that would be shocking to me if I saw anybody wearing a shirt with a full on penis why would you wear your penis shirt and then put the next one over top you're cold you only have that one sweater
Starting point is 01:21:37 you don't have an equally offensive sweater like you live in Southern California it's only cold two days a year it's a sweater that has pictures of mushrooms coming down off of it. So you just see the top of the penis and you're like, that's a mushroom. It's one of the mushrooms on your sweater.
Starting point is 01:21:51 There's a sweater with a print? All these crazy mushrooms. Crazy mushrooms? Just crazy mushrooms, dude. I don't understand what type of sweater you're talking about. A cable knit sweater with a plastic print on it. It spray painted it's cracking i don't know um oh erla i'm so sorry yeah uh wow he should have stopped this what is that website that is what i want to know oh uh offensive teacher i don't know yeah is it one of those i mean there's a lot of
Starting point is 01:22:22 t-shirts that get advertised to me yeah yeah that's true i wonder if it's just like if it's just a regular like a boring website if it's just like if you go to altavista.com that's all that's there now geocities.com slash fun shirts dot com tilde page one uh in addition to uber herds are written in, we also accept Overherds that are called in. If you want to call us, go for it. Our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hi, David and Graham. This is Joe from Madison.
Starting point is 01:22:55 I have a Whatverherd. Whatverherd. I was overhearing my wife explain to my stepfather-in-law the other day what uh what pandora was the radio listening station pandora so she explains it like a normal person would and when she gets done his response is oh so it's like email pretty good i think that's a great that's a fail-safe way to get out of any technology conversation for like an person who is not into technology at all. Oh yeah, email. Got it.
Starting point is 01:23:29 Oh, so my kid's got these shoes, they light up when they walk around. Yeah, yeah, email. We have that. Grandpa at AOL.com. I snagged it. I snagged Grandpa. That's one reason I hold on to AOL. I got Grandpa at AOL.com.
Starting point is 01:23:45 He got it before he even had kids. You know, we have the grandpas coming up here, nipping at my heels. I got a hang on to this. Out of touch Grandpa at AOL.com. Yeah, the... Do you have an old... Email account? Yeah, but like one that you still have but no i what did
Starting point is 01:24:07 they i had a few like like the davinator or something like that i had uh david egger yeah david egger's david egger's 2001 uh i had uh uh crazy for swayze at hotmail.com pretty good and gentle jesus at hotmail.com got gentlejesus at hotmail.com. Got too many weird emails to both of them. I just never gave them to anyone, but I was like, these will come in handy.
Starting point is 01:24:31 Sell these for top dollar. Yeah, exactly. Sell a Hotmail account. But yeah, all my email addresses have always been a version of my name. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:43 I didn't ever have, I think I never had a fun, just a fun one, like a crazyforswazy. Graham Crumper. email addresses have always been a version of my name but yeah i didn't ever have i don't i think i never had a fun just a fun one like a crazy persuasive graham crumper oh man maybe it's not too late it's probably taken you're probably right mine was a primus understander 81 you were like really overselling how much you understood primus i understand the subtext in my name is mud at yahoo.ca. Yeah. I love a slap bass.
Starting point is 01:25:12 Even though it's very obnoxious to listen to. Sea of cheese? Yes, please. 2069. We know it's Big Brown Beaver. 420. We know it's Big Brown Beaver Believer. That video was really cool.
Starting point is 01:25:27 Yeah. They were all plasticized? It really made, yeah, Duracell. Duracell, that was it. They put, I don't, that was their hit, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it was no weirder or no less weird.
Starting point is 01:25:42 Like, if that was a hit for them, then I don't understand how their whole catalog wasn't also a hit. Yeah, I don't know. Because all of their songs were weird like that. And that one was pretty catchy. That's true. But they were all like that. Some of them were a little far out there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:58 A little hard to listen to. A little mysterious, you know. Had something going on there. Turned out it was being dumb. Yeah. Thank you. I cracked it. It turned out it was being dumb. Yeah. Thank you. I cracked it. I'm willing to accept that now.
Starting point is 01:26:10 I still thought that they were mysterious. Now I know they're just dumb. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and guest of world renown. Oh, thank you. This is Katie from Pennsylvania calling in with a kids say the darndest style overheard. This is actually from a couple years ago. I was out to lunch with a friend of mine and their family,
Starting point is 01:26:31 which involved a three-year-old girl and a baby. So we're out to lunch, and it's a fairly fancy restaurant, fancy enough that they have a wine list anyway. So we're all sitting there and the waiter comes out and hands everyone the wine list and says, so can I start everyone off with something to drink? And the three-year-old just looks up and matter-of-factly says, um, my sister will just have breast milk.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Oh, yeah. Do you have that here? She's ordering for the table. That's right. She'll have a vintage 2013 breast milk. Yeah. You know what? We'll just share that.
Starting point is 01:27:13 Can I smell the cork? Oh, man. There's nothing wrong with that. Nope. No, it's natural, guys. It's awesome. Smelling a lady's breast cork. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 01:27:26 Have you ever gone to a restaurant and ordered wine? You can't drink wine, can you? I can drink white wine, but not red wine. Too much pollen in there? I guess. I don't know. And they give you the cork to smell? Have you ever had to pretend to know what that means? Do you stick it up your nostril and hold it in there?
Starting point is 01:27:48 Yeah. See how long, and then fire it out? Yeah. You're like, yep, I'll take it. No, I've had to do that, but I don't... How did you pretend? You felt the need to pretend, yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:58 So what did you say? Here's what it was. All right. Smells good. You licked it a bit. You're supposed to be able you're supposed i don't actually don't remember like do they smell it or do you do you smell it i think you could smell it you know oh it smells corked you know like well that's the cork and you're like well well done
Starting point is 01:28:13 yeah no shit sherlock but if they have because wasn't there there was a for a while there was like a cork like there was literally a shortage of the material cork is there not still too many bulletin boards that's right well the the cork and bees kept taking the material cork. Is there not still? Too many bulletin boards. That's right. Well, the cork, bees kept taking all the cork into the Bermuda Triangle. What? I don't know. I think it's bees going extinct too, right?
Starting point is 01:28:35 Oh, yeah. Sorry, did they cut that out yet? Have bees cut out going extinct yet? Erla loves that joke. Yeah. Erla loves it. So how did you tie the fact that bees are going extinct yet? Erla loves that joke. Erla loves it. So how did you tie the fact that bees are going extinct to cork to the Bermuda Triangle?
Starting point is 01:28:52 That's where they're disappearing. Things disappear in the Bermuda Triangle. I know you've never been because you're still here. Yeah, that's right. Touche. So if you go in the Bermuda Triangle, there's a lot of bees and Amelia Earhart. She's just being chased around on an island of corkuda Triangle, a lot of bees and Amelia Earhart. Amelia Earhart.
Starting point is 01:29:08 She's just being chased around on an island of cork with bees, like a cloud of bees. Do you think people go to, do you think things in planes and stuff go to the Bermuda Triangle and stay there and survive? I don't know. Kevin's got me questioning everything. The truth is out there. Yeah. So, but they used to have They would have caps So would you smell a cap from wine?
Starting point is 01:29:28 No, the cork can go bad Yeah, the cork can go bad I guess you would know it to smell it Oh, like you're like, ooh, it's cork Yeah, wine can be corked As they say I wouldn't know I don't know anything about wine
Starting point is 01:29:43 Bring me to Triangle, yes. Wine. No, thank you. Guys, we made it. Here's your final overheard of 2013. Hi, guys. I just flew in through LAX, and as I exited, there was a limo driver
Starting point is 01:30:00 with a sign waiting for a Miss Condom. Miss Condom. Miss Condom. Miss Condom 2013. Yeah. Was she wearing a sash? Yeah. A latex sash? Trojan presents. She's unsolicited
Starting point is 01:30:18 just like throwing condoms out to everyone. Ha ha ha! Here you go! I'm here now! I'm here to have unprotected sex, thank you. My sex drawer does not involve this. Somebody's offended. Oh, maybe. He was landing in LAX.
Starting point is 01:30:37 And they now have a law that the porno people have to wear condoms. So maybe Miss Condom is going to be like the johnny apple seed of condoms so uh man they have to wear condoms in in the film no no in the airport just the director in the airport in the baggage claim no yeah apparently they have to wear them in the as you said films in the films in the snuff film so now that's gonna be like is it only la or is it all of america i think it's california oh so like georgia is gonna like start off a campaign like make your pornos here we don't care oh no like sex incentives yeah yeah weird sex sex tax incentives no we don't care man do whatever you want save a lot of money on those rubbards. One here, we don't care.
Starting point is 01:31:27 Georgia, Atlanta. Here we go. That's where we talk now. Georgia, Atlanta. We even get the city-state relationship wrong. We hear from Georgia, Brazil. Yeah, you come in here. It doesn't even matter. Do you think you could... I don't understand
Starting point is 01:31:42 what an atlas is. Do you think there will be more pornos Sorry is it pornos or porns Pornos Pornos for periods Made in international waters now Oh yeah boat Boat jamming
Starting point is 01:31:56 Boat jamming Any verb can be Sex in a porno Anything blows That's pretty good. So it's on a sailboat. It's on a sailboat, yeah. A lot of people having wind-powered
Starting point is 01:32:12 sex there. A lot of people have low muscle strength, so they just let the wind blow them over towards each other. So you're coming up with a plot that people are just... Awful. People are on a boat. No, in his thing, these people are the boats.
Starting point is 01:32:28 Are these people... Are they the sails or something? I don't know, man. I'm just spitballing here. What else we got? What else we got? Let's move on here. That was not a winner. Hey, you gotta swing the bat to hit a home run, alright? Yeah, that's true. You gotta take the penis out to make a corner. Babe Ruth struck out more than anyone else
Starting point is 01:32:44 ever. Oh, that's true. That's true! more than anyone else ever. Oh, that's true. That's true! Yeah. Except Hank Aaron. But people overlook that. Me and Babe Ruth, exactly the same. Yeah, in a lot of ways. Striking out all the time.
Starting point is 01:32:54 I actually just made that statistic up. About Hank Aaron? About anyone. Lee Majors? Who was it? Lee Majors, yeah. He was the bionic baseball man. He was in the Majors.
Starting point is 01:33:09 Yeah, absolutely. Lee Majors. Yeah. Hey, Kevin. Yeah. This is it. This is it for us. Now, what is your black metal fan site?
Starting point is 01:33:24 Where do people find that? It's thesundayservice.ca. Slash penis t-shirt. Slash mushroom v-neck sweater. But it's thesundayservice.ca, but that's kind of an old site. We have like an interim Tumblr. Yeah, but you have said that for the last five visits to this. Over like three years, I know.
Starting point is 01:33:45 The new one is, the ball is set to be rolling. We've contacted a guy who knows of where the ball is. Yeah. He knows the shape of it. He knows how to roll it around inside of space. I think it's the sundayservice.tumblr.com. That's a little bit more accurate, up-to-date information. Well, what is the sundayservice.ca?
Starting point is 01:34:10 Is it all like old? Is it a Geocity site? Yeah, it's got a lot of animated GIFs of like Noid the Zoid eating a piece of pizza. Is that it? Zoid the Noid? Void the Noid? That 7-Up guy? Find a video? Find a video? No, Zoid the Noid is Pizzaid the Noid. That 7-Up guy.
Starting point is 01:34:26 Fido Dino? Fido Dino, Zoid. No, Zoid the Noid is Pizza Hut. That's the guy. No, it's not Zoid the Noid. Zoid the Zoid. It's just the Noid. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:34 You gotta avoid the Noid. I think it's Broid the Zoid. It's like all your bros wanna be involved with Zoid. It's Lloyd Brooks Bridges. Lloyd Brooks Bridges. It's Lloyd. Avoid the Lloyd. It's Lloyd the Freud And he's eating pizza
Starting point is 01:34:46 And he diagnoses you with sex problems So fuck your mom Sometimes a slice of pizza is just a slice of pizza But sometimes you want to kill your dad Lloyd the Freud There's that Show at the Cosmic Zoo every Sunday At 9 o'clock
Starting point is 01:35:01 And so if people want to look that up They just go to C-O-S-M-I-C Nope they just go to c-o-s-m-i-c nope they go to k-o-z-m-i backwards k-z-o-o yeah um and that is uh there at 53 west broadway and there are some shows um i was involved with a website called uh shit harper did and i'm actually just trying to find the dates right now oh lordy now here we go no that's not it harper is a famous uh golden retriever that's right yeah and uh these are all the cute things he did a lot of very famous poosies laid um i'm sorry this is like a thousand percent more than our usual poo uh And it's all Kevin Lee.
Starting point is 01:35:45 Yeah, I am sorry. Every time, it seems like every time I come here, it's like that. I just bring it right down into the water closet. And it's hard to get out. We fall in and it's hard to get out. Well, I can't find these things. As far as I can with the poo talk. No idea where they are.
Starting point is 01:36:05 Lovely. Go to toilet.ca. You can look up Shit Harbor Did on Facebook. Tell us about what that is. So it's a website that's surrounding our current prime minister. And future prime minister. God willing. God willing.
Starting point is 01:36:30 So we started it in 2011, and it was a smash hit on top 10 websites. I don't know. But it did all right, and we're bringing it back again for the next round. And we're going on tour by Group of the Sunday Service, hosted by Mr. Graham Clark. That's me. We're going to some colleges and universities around the bc area quantland ubc sfu i don't have to be smart or anything right i don't i'm not i it's not on me it's on you guys to do all the stuff right college is not for smart people it's for rich people um and oh i just alienated everyone from going um so we're going to go there and do uh improv and you're going to do a hilarious stand-up and
Starting point is 01:37:04 then uh other people there's going to be presentations about political activism in an entertaining way. In March. March-ish. It shows on March 11th. It's in March. So check your local university happenings listings. And find out
Starting point is 01:37:20 when those are happening. Come on out. Dave, anything to plug? I'm starting a website about how great the prime minister is and all the good stuff that he's done. What's it called? Nice things from a prime minister dot things. I don't believe I have anything to promote this week. Oh, man. The look you did, I thought there was going to be another thing.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Yeah, I know you did. Yeah. Now, if you... OGM, do you have anything? No. I was just going to say, you know, if anybody who listens to this here show wants to head over to MaximumFun.org to check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week that has photos and videos relating to the content of the episode. Perhaps a link to the women's fair or a Tina Turner impersonator. Yeah, yeah, totally Tina.
Starting point is 01:38:18 Yeah. Truly Tina. Truly Tina, yeah. Either or, right? Yeah, I'm sure there's a totally Tina. Truly Tina, yeah. Either or, right? Yeah, I'm sure there's a totally Tina. Yeah. It's still, it's in high enough demand that there's still, like, that's weird that there's people that are still doing Tina Turner impersonations. Look, if you look like someone enough.
Starting point is 01:38:36 You gotta. What else are you going to do? What if there's somebody who just looks like Jeff Probst? Yeah. What does he do? What is he like? Suddenly surviving Jeff Prob surviving live hosting yeah or if you're like a uh um dylan mcdermott impersonator and you and suddenly dermot marooney becomes more popular
Starting point is 01:38:55 can you swap over they don't look alike but their names are so they look enough alike yeah that's true but what would you do would you just be at like a like a car show yeah come meet a guy who looks like yeah i guess a tina turner impersonator can do songs and stuff like a bill paxton impersonator just read scenes from your favorite bill paxton from id4 yeah he can be the uh captain from it's bill pullman shit Get my impersonators mixed up. Yeah, and if you want to get in touch with the podcast. What if you looked like Bill Paxson but did a great Bill Pullman voice? Like, everything you did was great Bill Pullman, but you looked just like Bill Paxson. That show is called Paxson Pull, and that guy just does both.
Starting point is 01:39:41 He does half and half, like he paints inside of his body like phil pullman and the other one like phil paxton and then what is the show it just does scenes from different movies i don't know he juggles he has like a little soft shoe he has a burping contest he burps like phil paxton he burps famous lines from the movie. This is like the greatest show. Our show? No. No, this Bill Paxton guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:16 It's just like, oh man, what an entertainer. It's a four hour long show. It just does all this fucking great stuff. He does man on wire stuff oh man so that's at maximumfun.org
Starting point is 01:40:32 yeah all that will be there and if you want to get in touch with us it's stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328
Starting point is 01:40:41 and if you like the show tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop Podcasting Yourself.

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