Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 294 - Sarah Szloboda
Episode Date: November 4, 2013Sarah Szloboda returns to talk abandoned zoos, Phil Collins, and Orange is the New Black....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 294 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who could not look more cardiganed out if he tried.
He just looks so fall right now, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, I'm wearing a cardigan.
But it's like a really nice cardigan with like, what would you call this?
The thing that kind of is around the neck.
Oh, it's a shawl collar? Yeah yeah shawl collar yeah yeah yeah yeah it's real it's real uh like bing crosby
in the you know fireside chat bing crosby addressed the nation
now i'm not too present he would croon to the nation, tell them everything's going to be all right.
I feel a little bit of a cold coming on.
Uh-oh.
And so today I actually worked from home, and I was wearing slippers all day.
I took them off for you, but they're like old man slippers.
Oh, so great.
Yeah, it was a whole it was a whole affair you know it's a like a really
great old man look is the old man slippers and then like a blue pajama bottom oh i've i i've
told you recently that i'm interested in getting the matching pajama bottom and top yeah i got
them yeah what color like a light blue yeah yeah yeah! Like a periwinkle? Yeah! Oh, man.
And just wandering around the neighborhood in my pajamas.
Achievement unlocked.
Yeah, just going out and fixing the hose on the side of the house.
Doing just some stuff that doesn't really need you to put on shoes.
Glasses all crooked. And our guest today, we figured out almost exactly a year ago, was the last time this guest was on.
Very funny.
Huh?
I'm Brigadoon.
You are Brigadoon.
What's Brigadoon?
Look it up.
It's an annual, is it like a wave that comes to Hawaii every year?
Yeah.
Yeah, and then you pledge.
You pledge to which wave you forever want to ride.
I don't know what Brigadoon is either.
That's two out of the three of us that don't know what Brigadoon is.
I'm so sorry.
It's fine.
It sounds Scottish.
I think it's like a musical, but I think it's based on, there's a city that comes, like you can only see it once a year.
Oh, okay.
Or once every hundred years.
I think every four years you can, on Leap Day, you can propose to a guy.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, that's what that's about.
How long do I have?
You're one half of the sketch duo.
Improv. Not duo. Improv.
Not sketch. Improv only.
Why don't you write down some of your improvs?
I might.
Tegan and Sarah. Tell me what to do.
Oh yeah, don't tell her what to do.
She's breakadoon.
The breezy Hawaiian wave.
Our guest is Sarah
Swoboda.
I said it wrong last time, I said it wrong this time Sloboda. Sloboda.
I said it wrong last time.
I said it wrong this time.
Exploda.
Because I wanted to say Exploda, but I was like, no, Graham.
Say her name right.
And then I didn't know how.
Hi, Sarah.
Hey.
Hey, thanks for being our guest again.
Thank you so much for having me. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Well, let's get to know us.
Fun so far.
Get to know us.
So, Sarah, you have been everywhere.
Literally.
Yeah.
In the last, how many months?
Last, say, three or four months.
Yep.
You've been on the road, traveling, improvising.
No sketch.
No, just make-em-ups. Yeah, right? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yep. You've been on the road traveling, improvising. No sketch. No, just make-em-ups.
Yeah, right? Oh, wow.
Do you do, like,
does it change from town to town?
Your make-em-ups? Do you incorporate the local scene? Well, they change from
Just references? She says
they do, but I want to know. You know,
you say, no, this is original to just this city,
but then... Do you trot out your
famed characters.
Oh, yes.
From town to town.
I mean, they say something different every town.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've got their catchphrases.
Always a quirky president.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae.
That's two of the funny characters that you guys do.
Yeah, Tegan's an amazing bus driver.
The drunk bus driver. Yeah, Tegan's an amazing bus driver. A drunk bus driver.
Yeah. Always.
Oh, is that how every scene
starts? She's driving a bus
drunkenly. We're looking for a suggestion.
Something that gets you drunk.
Well, that doesn't really impact
the rest of the scene.
I'm drunk on Zambuca.
Yay!
So you've been at improv festivals.
Yeah.
Is that primarily or just straight up comedy festivals or what?
It's been a mix of both.
We were just in Portland and that one was just, it was actually more stand-ups.
That was the first one we went to that was mainly stand-ups. And there was a few groups of us.
How was that?
Really cool.
What was cool?
Tell us about Portland.
It was called All Jane, No Dick.
Oh, a lady festival.
A lady festival.
Oh, I only get it.
Now I get it.
But men attended.
Whoa, whoa.
Hey, hold on a minute.
We've come a long way.
Yeah, yeah.
What about this No Dick ball? Oh, eunuchs. I get it.'ve come a long way. Yeah, yeah. What about this no dick ball?
Oh, eunuchs, I get it.
Tons of eunuchs were there.
No hermaphrodites, though.
It was really cool, though.
It was just a bunch of mostly American female comics.
Really funny.
And we have a crazy reverence for them because we don't do stand-up.
And they seem to enjoy what we did did wondering why we do what we do basically
who portland no like the stand-ups most of the stand-ups were not from portland and they were
wondering why you do what you do yeah just not having done improv or whatever it seems wondering
why you do what you do or like like do that would they say things like why don't you just quit? Yeah. Sounds really jerky.
Very heavily bullied.
Just so mean.
No, I think just saying you have to keep coming up with things instead of getting to like finesse things.
Oh, okay.
Sure.
Yeah.
Like our previous suggestion of writing down some of these things.
Yeah, maybe we'll do it.
Doing some sketch.
Are there a lot of two people improv duos? Yeah. Yeah, maybe we'll do it. Doing some sketch. Are there a lot of two people
improv
duos? Yeah.
Yeah, there are.
There are a lot. It's easy to travel.
So easy to organize. We talked about this
actually in Toronto, thinking that if there was
more than two of us, we probably wouldn't have done
as much traveling. It gets expensive.
So you went to Toronto,
you went to Portland, you went to
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
You saw Walter White's house.
We did.
And we bought blue meth candy.
Nice.
Are you sure it was candy?
I think so.
I gave one to my mom.
Where do you...
What happened?
I want to know, because you actually took photos out in front of Walter White's house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a small woman from Brooklyn that owns a house.
Okay. And doesn't understand... How small is she? I want to... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a small woman from Brooklyn that owns a house. Okay.
And doesn't understand...
How small is she?
I want to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's on an angle,
like the driveway goes up.
She was on an angle?
Who was on the angle?
It's hard to say.
I've eaten a lot of that candy.
So, yeah, how small is this woman?
Like, on a scale of real Pearlman,
she's the smallest.
Yeah, the smallest woman ever.
To, like, I don't know, who's tall?
Geena Davis?
Oh, God.
Oh, the whole Rihanna to Geena scale.
Who's Serial Mom?
Kathleen Turner.
Is Kathleen Turner tall?
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, Laura Prepon? Cheryl Swoops. Yeah. Tall ladies of the world, Sure. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Oh, Laura Prepon. Cheryl Swoops.
Yeah.
Tall ladies of the world, unite!
Tall ladies of wrestling.
Clow.
So,
how tall is this lady?
I'm gonna go with a solid 5'2".
Did you meet her? Oh, yeah.
So, did she, like, give tours?
No, no. She just stands outside and ber? Oh, yeah. Does she, like, give tours? No, no.
She just stands outside and berates you a little bit, but, like, in a delightful way.
She'll just say, I wouldn't even cross the street to take this photo.
Why do you do it?
Just says that to every tourist.
Like, she doesn't even know that her house is on the show.
Why do you keep taking pictures of my house?
Yeah.
It's exactly like the house.
How so?
It looks exactly like it does on television.
Is there a pizza on the roof?
That's what everybody...
Aztec in the driveway.
Yeah.
If it was my house, I would put a pizza on the roof.
She said somebody did.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's going to happen like once a year.
Like Jim Morrison's grave. Oh, like Brigadoo. Yeah. but he did oh really yeah yeah oh that's gonna happen like once a year like uh jim morrison's
grave oh like brigadoo yeah yeah where they put pizza on the roof um yeah but like that's gonna
be a thing for that lady in that house for the rest of her time yeah on earth yeah like people
showing like that's a good Halloween thing.
I might go back and do it.
Yeah.
What, throw a pizza on a roof?
Yeah.
I didn't find out about it until later.
About the pizza?
The pizza thing.
Okay, yeah.
I mean, she's, oh boy.
Like, do you think, she doesn't charge any money?
She doesn't let you in your house.
So like, unless you met her on the incline,
you wouldn't have to pay her any money.
But, like, how does she spend the evening just yelling at people?
It was the middle of the day, and there was at least three groups of us outside of this residential house.
But when you arrived, was she waiting outside, standing outside?
Yeah, she's talking to another man.
Don't come any closer.
Really?
So, does she know the show it seems weird it seems weird that she would
at the same time acknowledge it but then not yeah go the full distance i guess she bought the house
from the original owner this is the story she said skylar and walter once they started having
troubles swooped right in because it's a great deal like cheryl swoops, swooped right in because it was a great deal.
Like Cheryl swoops.
Cheryl swooped right in.
Yeah.
Her height opposite.
Her height opposite.
Her height opposite, Gullganger.
So, okay.
But the original owner signed all the contracts, did all that, then sold it.
So they took the show to a soundstage, I guess, and recreated the inside, whereas they used to film it inside the house, too.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
So she bought the house, but she knew this was going to be a famous house?
I guess.
But she's not playing along with it?
She's sort of playing along with it, but she just had that Brooklyn accent.
Yeah.
It's like how the people who work in the Mad Men office, there's tourists who always come and jump out the window.
There's always a guy falling from the window.
Take my picture!
Putting on a suit, jumping out the window.
Just a black silhouette suit.
Yeah.
But, like, the house from the the amityville horror uh-huh that was uh like
eventually the couple that the movie was about they moved out because they said it was crazy
haunted right and then another family bought it and had no problems with it except that people
kept showing up at the house to take pictures of the house.
And they were like, well, this is terrible.
This is worse than it being haunted.
So then they moved out.
Haunted by tourists.
And then I think another family moved in and had to re-decorate the outside of it so it didn't look.
Oh, so no one would take pictures.
Yeah.
Because that was just like gonna be their life
in that house for the rest of the time so i assume that's what's gonna happen because it's an actual
house yeah that looks like the house from the show yeah it looks exactly like that oh yeah you said
that earlier you pointed that out was there a pool in the back i didn't go to the back oh you should
go to the back i bet it is there yeah to the back. I bet it is there.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with a pizza next time.
Yeah.
And a bathing suit.
Ding dong.
I'm back.
Remember me?
From one year ago?
Exactly.
Happy anniversary.
I'm going to throw this pizza under your roof.
Keep making eye contact yeah dipping sticks
um okay so uh aside from the walter white house what other breaking bad attractions did you see
well we did that candy lady i guess she made all the meth for the show too uh-huh but it was blue
candy uh to the car wash you did oh yeah what else do you what else can you
possibly do in albuquerque uh what my aunt lives there too i know well but like so you can go visit
her yeah what does she do what's her whole thing uh she's super new age and works in a hospital
oh yeah like she read my cards a bunch whoa whoa whoa whoa were there a lot of crystals in the home
what kind of hospital does she work in
like is it just like a yurt
kind of thing I think she's at
the university or something
oh so she actually works in an actual hospital
the yurt university
but not like
a hospital where people show up and they're like
ah my chakras are all show up and they're like, ah, my chakras are all messed up.
Like a witch doctor.
And they're like, yeah, yeah.
Let me blow this crystal dust in your face.
Ooh, I don't like the pattern it formed.
Get them to the ER.
The experimental room.
Yeah.
I don't know what she does in the hospital, so she could do that.
I don't know.
Well, what does she do?
Is she like a nurse?
Doctor? No, I think it's like a medical tech or something like that. I don't know. Well, what does she do? Is she like a nurse? Doctor?
No, I think it's like a medical tech or something like that.
All right.
But then in her off time, she's like, this is the real.
She mostly read my cards.
Yeah.
What, like tarot cards?
No, just like actual playing cards.
You have six hearts.
What?
She called me a nine of clubs or something.
Yeah, you have six hearts.
I believe that's from a sketch.
It's pretty good, though.
Radio-free vestibule, if I'm not mistaken.
What did your card say, first of all?
It was super vague.
I got a wanderer.
I think I had a backpack at the time.
Oh, my niece who's gone to a bunch of different cities lately.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, you's gone to a bunch of different cities lately. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You're a wanderer.
What else?
Will you maybe have exciting things on the horizon?
Potentially.
Oh, potentially.
Ask again.
She mixes it up.
She's got cards and an eight ball and tea leaves.
She's got some fortune cookies.
Yeah, it's just a real grab bag
of fortune. The fortune cookies are also
full of cocaine.
She's a drug dealer.
She stands
outside the hospital.
Yeah, I work at the
hospital.
I stand outside the rehab clinic.
I also saw Mark Chavez was an attraction a former... the hospital. I stand outside the rehab clinic. I remember how much you like drugs.
Mark Chavez was an attraction,
a former,
whatever, guest. Former guest, Mark Chavez.
He's from Albuquerque, New Mexico.
And he was there that week.
He told me,
this was off the air, I said, oh, you're from Albuquerque.
Have you ever been in Breaking Bad?
And he said, no, but everyone I know,
every actor I know has yeah
yeah and it's all those landmarks uh they're all there you know what i mean like i think we've been
over this they look at least exactly like them but like like they they're like uh past guest Ryan Belville, right? Was on a television show where
he's, you know, works in a comic book store.
And they made a fake strip mall
to be like the strip mall that he works in.
But like that strip mall, like this...
They could have.
Albuquerque is Vince Gilligan's muse.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it is.
It's sex and the city.
It's the fifth girl the extra slutty one yeah i thought me the viewer was the fifth girl no you're charlotte
you're such a charlotte wait which one's charlotte isn't she the one that
is the real prissy one yeah yeah you You're a Miranda, Dave. I am?
Yeah.
Like the mean one?
Yeah.
What are you then?
What do you carry?
What do you think you carry?
I'm big.
Huh?
You're big?
Hey, wait a minute.
That's not how this game goes.
I'm that one guy who showed up for the first season.
I'm just one of the guys. That's your date. That's your date. Yeah, I'm that one guy who showed up for the first season. I'm just one of the guys.
That's your guy.
Yeah, I'm Berger.
I'm the only communicating post-it notes.
And I was in Office Space.
Okay, so here we go.
Your fortune, outlook good.
Outlook is positive.
Oh, good.
Great.
Great.
So the festival in New Mexico was what?
Called Duke City Improv Festival It was pretty fun
Alright
We went
Our favorite one this summer was Detroit I think
Tell us about Detroit
Great city
What's on the road?
Midwestern vibes
They took us to an abandoned zoo
Good night
Keep going Yeah Was it from the TV show? Was it the same as the one in vibes. They took us to an abandoned zoo. Good night.
Keep going.
Was it from the TV show?
Was it the same as the one in We Bought an Abandoned Zoo?
We Abandoned a Zoo?
And then Matt Damon
swooped right in as he does.
So you went to an abandoned
zoo? Yeah.
Was it abandoned by the
zookeeper or by the animals by ford
they it's just uh it's like a 10-year abandoned zoo and it was the most amazing thing we went with
the gentleman from hip bang um so a vancouver sort of crew tom hill and devin loheed mckinsey devin loheed yeah formerly devin mckinsey uh we went all together with a local man
that drove us everywhere and then just like took us to the back of it popped the fence well oh so
this is not uh this is not a legal tour wow but it's, but it's like modern, graffitied everywhere.
Like polar bears rule.
Yeah.
Penguins suck.
Yeah.
Yeah. We took some good pictures.
Yeah.
It was like Jurassic Park in there.
Did you go in the enclosures?
Oh, we went in everything.
Whoa.
It's overgrown.
There's nobody there.
That's kind of how you would describe the whole city, downtown proper at least.
Right.
There's beautiful parts, but then there's so many things that are very new looking, but then completely abandoned with pigeons and stuff like that and graffiti.
So the pigeons kind of rule that city?
Yeah.
Oh, awesome.
Probably better than their former mayor.
I don't know.
The former mayor was also a pigeon.
When you say that you're the only ones in there, there aren't other nosy tourists also in there?
Potentially, but it's so big.
It's a giant zoo.
Is there like...
I never thought of...
Yeah.
What could you stage there?
Like what kind of gladiator fights?
That's what we were actually thinking because they actually have an octagon sort of viewing spot from the top.
You can look over at whatever they used to house dog fights yeah yeah so are like the areas that
would have glass is the glass all broken or is that still intact uh i'm gonna say it's broken
but there was parts that were full of water underneath we were basically in the upper
walkway okay so i don't i don't think they had glass on top. I have a feeling wherever the animals were
kept inside, probably. Right.
Like, there's walls. Not really glass.
But you know, like, what did it... Oh, so
like, cement and bars?
Yeah. Is this like more of a jail-looking kind
of zoo? Yeah, it's gray. It's a
really gray and, like, overgrown zoo.
Yeah. Yeah.
You have to be a real tough animal to make it into
a Detroit Zoo.
There's no animals in there at all?
There's not even one gorilla that they left behind?
No, there's a lot of peacocks that overrun that entire island.
What?
Yeah, rogue peacocks.
Wow, that's weird.
This place called Belle Isle that was built by the guy that I guess that did Central Park.
Oh, okay.
Central Park, I don't know.
Just, yeah, just an island.
A giant island.
Giant island.
Thomas Edison.
Where?
The Wizard of Central Park.
It's just in downtown proper.
They even have races around it, like IndyCar or something.
I'm so sorry if I'm butchering this entire segment.
Oh, it's fine.
No.
It's been butchered.
Yeah, it's not used.
I don't want to kick a dog when it's down.
So open wheel racing.
Yes.
What? Kick a dog when it's down. So open wheel racing. Yes. What?
Kick a dog when it's down?
Is that the expression?
Yeah, you beat a dead horse.
Yeah, with a dead dog.
When you're fighting a dog, don't kick it when it's down.
Let it get up so you can punch it in the face.
So I'm trying to picture this in my head.
There's an island with water around it?
Yeah, I think it's man-made.
Okay.
But it's in downtown.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess it works like counties.
Like a Granville Island or Toronto Island.
Okay.
So this is where the zoo.
You can see Windsor right across.
It's just on the water that divides it.
You can't see my hands.
They weren't helping.
Just voguing.
You went into
scary abandoned zoo. Were you there at night?
No, daytime. Too scary.
Too scary.
Any other abandoned? I think it would be fun to go in the winter
and like snowy abandoned zoo.
Yeah, but the thing is I don't think you'd see where you're
stepping and there were some ground issues.
Oh, holes? Like pits? I think. think you'd see where you're stepping and there were some ground issues. Oh, holes?
Holes.
Like pits?
I think.
Like you would fall through the levels.
Bottomless pits.
Yeah.
But that'd be a good way to go.
That's as good a way as any, right?
I've always wanted to die in a zoo.
Die how I lived.
Yeah.
Yeah, breaking into zoos.
That would be a pretty fun...
You know how engagement photos are the worst thing ever?
I think, but, you know, breaking into an abandoned zoo and having those photos,
where, like, one of them's dressed like a zookeeper and the other's dressed like various animals.
You have to bring a lot of costumes.
Or you think it's abandoned, and then in all of your pictures there's a gorilla that's creeping up on you.
Just always a gorilla?
Yeah.
And, like, as the pictures, as you go through the pictures, it's getting up on you. Just always a gorilla? Yeah. And as you go through the pictures,
it's getting closer and closer.
And then finally, when you get your film back,
you realize you've been killed by a gorilla.
And he's wearing your tongue.
Yeah.
Now the gorilla's engaged to your fiance.
And now you see the photos of the future with the baby.
And they're very happy.
Yeah.
Oh, man, that half
gorilla, half human.
He signed his own vows.
Yeah, me, Amy, you,
where's your cardigan?
When's the last time you went to a zoo?
Legit.
Oh, I went in Chicago.
What?
Yes.
All you do is travel to zoos.
You're on the Midwest Zoo Tour.
That's a good, yeah, that Midwestern attitude.
No Midwestern vibes, I think is the term.
They're hardworking, childbearing hips, zoos.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Salt of the earth gorillas.
Those accents, though, did you know that that's the general American accent?
Which one?
The Midwestern accent.
What does that mean?
I guess all those newscasters from whatever decade, like the 70s or 60s, when people were really being pumped out.
And we're told to talk like that.
Google it.
But it's not like the harsh Chicago accent.
No, they say it's like epicenters around Detroit,
so the Michigan, and it's sort of expanded.
Along the panhandle there.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Along the mitten.
But what, because isn't it the Southern drawl? along the mitten but what
because isn't it the southern drawl
isn't that what people associate as the
American accent? No, for like news
news anchors like Tom Brokaw
I think he's from Pennsylvania
I think he's got that kind of putzel thing
stop it
I was telling myself to stop it
he swallows his L's I was telling myself to stop it.
He swallows his L's.
So what else?
What other?
You've been to Chicago and Detroit and Albuquerque.
You've done it all.
Yeah, and we went to Philadelphia, too.
Oh, tell us about it. You're like the Anthony Bourdain of improv.
I know.
I don't know.
What did you see that was cool in Philadelphia?
Just America.
Oh, yeah.
How America was made.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true.
There's a Liberty Bell there.
Did you see that?
Is that anything?
Yeah.
Tegan got a photo taken in front of him, but dang it.
Whoever positioned it.
Her body just blocked the bell
so it's just a picture of her
with like little the little cones
from the bottom of it just like
oh man
by her neck cause she was standing
so far ahead of it perspective wise
who took the picture she got mad it perspective wise. Who took the picture?
She got mad at me afterwards.
Why did you step away?
She had to ask somebody else.
This is our
one chance to get a picture of the living room bell.
My favorite bell!
It's a pretty good bell.
Wow. Did you see
the steps? The rocky steps? Yeah, we saw the
rocky steps. We ate some cheese sticks. Did you see the steps? The rocky steps? Yeah, we saw the rocky steps. We ate some cheese sticks.
Did they have cheese whiz on them?
Yeah, I got mine with cheese whiz.
Were they gross?
They were pretty good.
Okay.
I think you're just saying that to save face.
It's gross, right?
We ate it for breakfast right before our flight.
Yeah.
Oh, as you were going out, you're like, oh, we got to do this.
Yeah.
What do you have to eat when you're in Chicago?
A deep dish pizza.
Yeah, or Chicago style flan. What do you have to eat when you're in chicago a deep dish pizza yeah or chicago style what do you have to eat when you're in detroit
motor oil what just motor oil
uh you gotta go to you gotta have um oh a banana split from Splitsville.
Motown.
Or just some M&M's.
Just a handful of M&M's.
There you go.
Easy peasy.
Or something Kid Rock related.
Yeah.
They have a Kid Rock music museum.
No, they don't. They do, and it was closed.
We tried so hard to get inside of it.
Did you break it?
Yeah.
I know, back away.
The abandoned Kid Rock Museum.
Yeah, it's reversed though.
You have to get an animal
to take you into that one.
Humans take you into the zoo.
That would be scary
engagement photos
if he's creeping up.
Kid Rock.
His wife feeder
and track pants.
And his crazy red fedora.
Now when you say that there's a Kid Rock museum,
it's not a...
It's like Kid Rock presents history, right?
Yeah.
It's not the history of Kid Rock.
It might be a combo.
Well, sure.
I feel like you get to make music and stuff like that, though.
Kid Rock style.
Why?
He never did.
Boom!
So that was closed.
Like, forever closed?
Like, abandoned?
He's an American badass.
We got there too late.
You can roll with rock, or you can radio edit.
You get to find, oh, at the museum, you get to find out what goes in all those radio edits.
Shocking.
Yeah, the radio edit wing.
Just added.
Bawit the bar.
So what else?
What else did you see?
I've never been to any of these places.
So it's all fascinating.
Probably for most of them, we wouldn't have ever gone.
Really?
Yeah.
They're one-offs.
They're not like major cities.
Whoa.
No, no.
But you know what I mean?
Because if you're not from the country, usually you're not going to travel right across it.
Yeah, you're not going to go to Detroit and back.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
Although, I do think about going to Detroit.
Detroit was the best with no irony.
It was just great.
Yeah.
Really cool.
What was your favorite thing you saw in Detroit?
I think that...
That weird abandoned zoo.
She just told us for 20 minutes.
That thing was so cool.
That seems pretty cool.
And then you go into the city
and there's all these Art Deco buildings that are just abandoned.
Yeah.
The train station, just gorgeous.
Abandoned.
Abandoned.
There's all these plants that used to make tanks and stuff like that.
Abandoned.
Graffiti.
Yeah.
Great graffiti.
Oh, great graffiti?
Oh, yeah.
Huh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They used to make tanks.
America's still using tanks. Yeah, but they outsource them. Oh, they graffiti? Oh, yeah. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. They used to make tanks. America's still using tanks.
Yeah, but they outsource them.
Oh, they get Japanese tanks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hybrid tanks?
Yeah.
And, uh...
No, they, uh...
I don't know where they get their tanks from.
Not from Detroit, though.
Hey, America, if you're listening, tell us where you got your tanks from.
Where'd you get that tank?
Yeah.
Kid Rock, tell me where you got your tank
if you're listening.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, man.
It's Detroit.
Kiss isn't from Detroit.
Yeah, they are. They're from New York.
They're from New York, yeah.
Yeah, but they sang about Detroit.
Oh, yeah. Everyone sings about Detroit.
Sure.
The movie Detroit Rock City, they sang about Detroit. Oh, yeah. Everyone sings about Detroit. Sure. Like Brigadoon.
Yeah, the movie Detroit Rock City, they just go to see Kiss, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
At the zoo.
That would be good.
It was the grand reopening of the zoo.
At the Psycho Circus.
I'm just really glad that Kiss is still touring around.
And will until I'm dead.
They look great.
Oh, absolutely.
Never better.
They wear a little more makeup now.
Yeah.
But they're going to keep going.
They're going to keep going until...
Jane Simmons turns to dust.
No, no.
Even after he's dead, they're going to figure out some sort of robot situation.
He's working on it right now.
He's working on...
Do you think they'll have a Vegas show?
I feel like they'll have a Vegas show.
I'm surprised they haven't.
Yeah, I feel like they've probably tried and failed at this point.
Celine Dion could just sing for them.
Or like a Cirque du Soleil.
Oh, a kiss.
There's guarantee they've tried to pitch that.
And Cirque du Soleil's been like,
we're willing to put our name on anything,
but not Kiss.
Well, no, they've done The Beatles and Michael Jackson.
It's kind of a step down to Kiss.
Oh, huge.
Once you're at the Kiss level,
then it's like,
why not just do a He-Man Cirque du Soleil?
Yeah, a Ted Nugent.
Oh, actually, I'd go see a He-Man Cirque du Soleil.
Yeah, with starring Ted Nugent.
Music by Ted Nugent.
Yeah, the Motor City Madman.. Music by Ted Nugent. Yeah, the Motor City Madman.
Stage managed by Ted Nugent.
Yeah, often I look in the program,
who's stage managing?
Oh, Ted Nugent is.
He's just calling the show.
So he's got a headset on
and he's calling everyone
F word for homosexual
and shooting people.
Yeah, he's just backstage with all sorts of guns. With a crossbow. F word for homosexual. And shooting people.
He's just backstage with all sorts of guns.
With a crossbow.
He gives the whole cast a gun before their first show.
Good luck.
Also gonna release a bunch of pheasants
into the theater.
The F word for homosexual.
Pheasant.
You're on a five, pheasant.
So, Dan, what's going on with you, man?
Last night,
last night I went to a hockey game.
Yeah. The local squadron, the Vancouver Canucks, playing
the Washington Capitals.
Yeah. Classic rivalry. Yeah, exactly. squadron the vancouver canucks uh playing the washington capitals yeah classic rivalry yeah
yeah exactly um and it was fun and it was great um and the best thing about it well one of the
best things was that uh at the end sort of near the end of the first period uh they started playing Phil Collins.
Like, I can feel it coming in the air tonight.
And then the announcer comes on and says, ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome a special guest this evening.
And Phil Collins is just watching the game in a luxury booth.
And they just put the camera on him and he's there with his daughters and they're laughing at him.
They're like, Dad, Liv sings your dumb song.
Do the drum solo.
Wow.
So does Phil Collins love that?
Does he wave?
He waves.
He looks a little embarrassed.
He looked like the camera was on him a bit too long.
Yeah. Yeah. Why is Phil Collins here? little embarrassed like he looked like uh the camera was on him a bit too long yeah yeah what's uh why is phil collins here oh his big washington capital he's not estranged daughter yeah maybe
they're not estranged they're not estranged it's just estranged wife i think yeah well ex-wife
yeah i think you can just have an ex just a not everything's a class a classy affair oh my estranged wife
um uh yeah and then um between the first and second period they bring out a bunch of like
seven-year-old hockey players to play and it's super cute and it's fun. They wipe out. They're terrible at it. Timbits. Yeah.
I don't think it's called that here.
What is that?
What are you talking about?
The Timbits.
Isn't that what they call the tiny team?
Yeah.
They're sponsored by Tim Hortons.
I don't know.
This is all news to me.
This is when I first learned about wiener dog races.
I didn't know that they had just kid hockey that came out. Oh's i didn't know that they had just like kid hockey they came oh
you didn't know that well no between the they've always done this for like years and years and
years they bring out just local teams i don't know i used to play hockey i don't think i ever
how tiny of kids are we talking about like seven or eight yeah okay so they really just like look
hilarious yeah and they're wearing like huge jerseys that come down to their knees.
Oh, pretty cute.
And while they're playing hockey, they were playing Susudio by Phil Collins.
And I just thought that it would be great if they just played Phil Collins songs all night long to pump up the crowd.
And they just started running out of good ones.
Can we only play Phil Collins?
Can we use Genesis songs?
Yeah, yeah.
I Can't Dance.
That's the only other Phil Collins song I know.
Oh, there's the one from Tarzan.
Oh, no.
Oh, there's the one from Tarzan.
Oh, no.
What?
The power to be strong, the boldness to be bold.
I forget what it's called.
I don't know much of Phil Collins' catalog.
I know Air Tonight.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Sulbota.
Sulbota.
And then... I Can't Dance by Genesis. Yeah, and and then that's it i don't know what else what i can't hurry love uh wasn't that a cover though he didn't write that did he yeah he covered it
was that the one where he did a music video with the ultimate warrior
really yeah the ultimate warrior beats him up
yeah gilbert godfrey's in it yeah it's probably in the air tonight Really? Yeah, the ultimate warrior beats him up. Yeah.
Gilbert Gottfried's in it.
Yeah, it's probably in the air tonight.
He did the one with the spitting image puppets.
Oh, yeah. Wave of confusion, ball of confusion.
Don't know it.
All right.
Anyway, I just thought it would be funny if it was on.
I came into this hoping you guys would know a lot more about Phil Collins
I confuse him for Peter Gabriel
Oh, you mustn't
They've both been Genesis lead singers
Yeah
But not during your lifetime
How do you know so much about Phil Collins?
How do I know so little about him?
I once went in one of those 4D experience
things to a Peter Gabriel song
It was like, jump in the water.
Yeah, kiss that frog.
Yeah, that's the thing.
And we did.
We did.
It was a little frog experience where our chairs moved.
What?
Yeah, we were jumping in the water.
Where is this?
It was in a parking lot in Surrey, I think, as a child.
The Peter Gabriel experience?
In Surrey
just go in a box
and listen to
steam
and it gets really steamy
like hammer
and just hear
a bunch of hammers
at work
when I was a kid
Peter Gabriel
was my favorite musician
like
really
looking back
it makes no sense
yeah
like he's a super boring guy
I guess the only thing
that makes sense is he always had really cool music videos that were, like, fun.
But, like, now I can't even remember the guy's name we were talking about.
Phil Collins?
Oh, no.
He, didn't he, like, he looked like an old man, like, super early on in his career.
Like, he looked like a super old guy.
Because he, like, he just has, like, old man like super early on in his career like he looked like a super old guy because he like
he just has like old man he looks like i always confused him and bob hoskins so i would see a
picture of bob hoskins and then i would be like oh yeah phil collins same guy oh god they did a
movie together yeah did he act in something who phil collins no bob hoskins yeah bob hoskins
no i know phil collins no i know bob hoskins is an actor but no yeah phil collins was definitely Who, Phil Collins? No, Bob Hoskins. Yeah, Bob Hoskins. No, I know Phil Collins.
No, I know Bob Hoskins is an actor.
But no, yeah, Phil Collins was definitely in a movie.
Yeah, it was like one name.
Oh, people hate us.
Yeah, it was.
It was something like Twinkie or Brandy.
Frank Pope.
Hutch.
Yeah, what was it?
Hutch.
Hutch, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, know. Hutch. Yeah. What was it? Hutch? Hutch?
Yeah, that's the one.
Yeah, he plays Hutch.
He plays a guy who counsels guys how to get women.
That's Hitch.
Hutch is a guy who holds all your china.
He's got this trench coat, and you open it up, and he's got crockery.
I'm Hutch. He's got this trench coat and you open it up and he's got like... Crockery. Yeah.
I'm Hutch.
What's Hutch?
Is that a thing?
No, it's a China Hutch.
No, but I was just wondering if that was an actual smudge.
Anyways.
I'm looking at Phil Collins.
It is.
It's Buster.
Wasn't that what it's called?
According to IMDB, he was in the music department of the movie Tarzan.
Oh, really?
Phil Collins?
Yeah.
Didn't he sing at the end?
Oh, I thought that Peter Gabriel was the one that sang the Tarzan song.
Oh, I don't get them confused.
What did Peter Gabriel sing?
Didn't he sing a cartoon song?
Jump in the water.
Yeah.
Kiss a frog.
I'm actually just singing that to smoke in the water. Jump in the water. Yeah. Kiss a frog. I'm actually just saying that to smoke in the water.
Jump in the water.
Touch.
It was Buster, right?
Oh, the thing he acted in?
Yeah.
The thing what he acted in?
Oh, he played a voice in the animated movie Balto.
Balto is a story,
a brave story about a brave dog?
Yes, it's Buster.
Yeah.
He's got 13 credits
on IMDb.
Including the movie
A Hard Day's Night.
In 1964, he plays
Seated Fan with Necktie.
I bet he credited himself on there He just logged in
Oh yeah it's uncredited
He's also uncredited as
Vulgarian child in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
He was destined to be famous
Oh wow
And he played Inspector Good in Hook
Oh he's in Hook.
Yeah.
I thought that was Bob Hoskins.
I was sure of it.
I thought that was Peter Gabriel.
When I was in grade six or grade seven, my parents went to England, and I told them to bring me back something English.
And they brought me back two CDs.
One was Phil Collins.
I believe it was called But Seriously.
That was his stand-up.
It's the one with Another Day in Paradise.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
I know that song.
And the other British thing they brought me was the Right Said Fred CD.
Oh, wow.
What was it called?
What was it called was it called up up
yeah yeah that was a landmark cd lots of hits on that yeah two i can think of two i'm too sexy for
this and then oh no that wasn't no no it was the the remix the refrain uh it was i'm too sexy and
then one that was like don't talk just kiss whoa whoa whoa was he was he like a major
gay icon i feel like that was that was the first of all right said fred is three people oh i thought
it was just that guy it's two bald guys and one other guy one guy who wouldn't go along with it
like in zz top there's one guy nope, not shaving my head, guys.
I'm in this band and I love it and I don't want to quit, but I don't want to shave my head.
He was shaved head and mesh shirt.
Yeah.
And I thought it was like, isn't that a thing?
It was two guys, like two twins, not twins, brothers.
Okay.
Yeah.
That both wore the mesh shirts
and and then there was a third guy there was a third guy who you never would have known was in
the band until you uh until 20 years later you started googling that right said fred
are they still on tour still yeah yeah oh wow i'd go see them. Yeah. They'll keep going. Of course. They'll do robots.
They're not like you, your two-person improv troupe.
No.
Oh, yeah.
They've almost called it quits.
They were like, why isn't it just the two of us?
Why isn't it just the one of us?
Everybody thinks I'm right-saving.
Yeah.
My real name's Hootie, and you're the blowfish.
Oh, man.
Frustrating.
Very.
So, well, Phil Collins, welcome to Vancouver.
Yeah.
He's a listener to the show.
He's a regular.
He sends it over.
He reads all the time.
They're never funny.
Just making up stuff that he heard Phil Collins say.
The really cool things.
Wait, he is Phil Collins.
Yeah, but he just goes anonymous.
Oh, yeah.
Or things that people are saying about Phil Collins.
Or he writes it anonymously. He says, hey, I heard another dumb thing Phil Collins said.
That's what I was picturing.
Yeah.
Or like good things.
Yeah.
Like talking about how much sex he got last night.
How much sex did Phil Collins get last night?
Oh, he took those Tarzan-like amounts.
Yeah.
You know Tarzan? Famous sex guy? Yeah. All the 10-like amounts. Yeah. You know Tarzan?
Famous sex guy?
Yeah.
All the 10-bit moms.
Boy.
Yeah.
Well, no, because, you know, he got up on the Jumbo.
That's on the Jumbotron.
Like, that's at least good for...
Yeah.
He was on the Kiss Cam.
Yeah.
And just turned around and made out with him.
Yeah, he did that cool thing.
Oh, wow.
How old are his kids?
Probably like six or something.
He's probably still having kids.
I think his daughter's an actress.
Yeah, they're in their 30s.
His daughter's an actress?
Maybe 40?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
What's she been in?
She's been in a show called Madison.
I've seen that.
Yeah.
Yeah, high school show.
Show about a high school?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They filmed it at my high school. Really. Yeah. Yeah. High school show. Show about a high school? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They filmed it at my high school.
Really?
Yeah.
Cool.
Will Sasso was on it as well, I think.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
I learned a lot.
I learned Sarah, Sarah Strange, local actress was on that.
I learned a lot about life from Madison.
Sure.
Yeah.
Sure.
I did.
Fine.
Fine.
Whatever.
All right.
So I saw Phil Collins on a jump. That's great. Yeah. Thanks. Kind of un. Fine, whatever. All right. So I saw Phil Collins on Jumbotron.
That's great.
Yeah, thanks.
Kind of unbeatable, really.
I didn't see any Jumbotron anywhere.
Didn't see Phil Collins anywhere.
Didn't know he was in town.
He never tells me he's in town.
All I see on his Twitter, just leaving YVR.
Thanks for the great time.
I didn't even say hi.
Thanks, bro.
Well, we just recorded on Saturday, so not a lot has happened to me since then.
Oh, I watched the entire first season of Orange is the New Black.
Oh, okay.
So have you seen this picture?
The picture?
The talkie?
Yes.
This series? Yeah. It's not a tv show it's not on tv no it's not a tv but
it's series yeah 13 episodes i watched the first episode yeah and then i was and then abby was like
uh i left the room and i was like oh you can watch the next episode without me. And she watched the next 12 without me. Yeah, I felt they're made, right?
These Netflix shows are made to batch watch.
Like they don't release them over time or whatever.
So you just, you get the whole season.
And there's no reason to not just, unless you have a life or important things to do.
There's no reason to not just watch one after the other after the other.
Well, they know that that's what we're going to that's why the dvd thing yeah weekly yeah so like i watched the whole if you
watch the whole thing oh yeah yeah it made first of all uh made prison seem a lot more fun than it
probably is yeah well women's prison yeah yeah but like even even women's prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even women's prison, I would think, would be scarier than...
It's like a lot of...
Everybody's doing favors for each other.
It's kind of like people are just kind of getting to understand each other's needs.
Yeah, all the murderers are just misunderstood.
Yeah, but there's hardly any murderers in it.
There's like one.
One murderer.
There's an old lady.
Yeah.
Spoiler alert.
Yeah, and she's just stern.
I guess.
Yeah. Well, it's not really a spoiler. Is Monster in it from that Charlize Theron movie. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Yeah. And she's just stern. I guess. Yeah.
Well, it's not really a spoiler.
Is Monster in it from that Charlize Theron movie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He or she is in there.
Did you not know?
Yeah.
Anyways, it's really good, but it's, I don't know.
Anyways, it's really good, but it's, I don't know, like you watch 13 episodes, so 13 hours spent by myself watching the show.
And then, will there be another season ever?
I have no idea.
Yeah, I think they're filming, but Laura Prepon quit.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding.
That's like half of the show.
I know.
It's like Simon and Simon, if one of the Simons walked away. Which one? away you're just gonna have to introduce that there's a death row and yeah somehow oh it
got off for good behavior oh that's weird well now that i know that i don't think i don't think
i would watch it anymore she's one of the main characters anyway you watch any of the other
netflix series is the cards you did? Yeah, I loved it.
Loved it.
Loved it.
Loved it.
Do you know that Kevin Spacey's accent in that is like the American accent?
The general swag.
I don't know.
It's Southern Charleston.
Wow.
Those are a lot of words.
I'm going to let myself out.
A lot of words just tumbled out of you.
I don't even think I meant to stop at swag.
I just stopped.
Did you see the...
I'm so sorry.
The Arrested Development?
Yeah.
All of them?
No.
Did anyone not give up on that?
Meh.
Yeah.
Like, it's...
I get it.
It's a fun way to watch television.
Well, probably it's more fun if you don't watch.
Because I watched 13 episodes of it by myself, and I'm like, hey, I want to talk about it.
To who?
Yeah.
To people who watched it six months ago?
Yeah.
Or, yeah, nobody wants to talk about it.
So it's just I've seen it, and that's like my dark secret.
I just have to deal with all the emotions on my own.
Where does it take place?
In a jail.
I know, but what?
Like, could you go visit the jail?
Oh, yeah.
Like Sarah visited the?
Upstate New York.
Oh.
Maybe on your Rust Belt tour.
Yeah, yeah.
The thing is, remember the show Oz?
Yeah.
I remember of it.
Yeah.
Graphic. Very graphic. is remember the show oz yeah i remember of it yeah graphic very graphic but also i felt like
i was like this seems like there's too too much violence in this one like i don't think jail is
as bad as this but i don't think jail is as nice as where can we just get a jail show
right down the line that's just what jailails really like well maybe you should write it well
yeah i should i don't know anything about jail um we went on a walking tour of a prison in
philadelphia that was narrated by steve buscemi what oh like an audio an audio tour it just shut
down but it's really cool. This is boring.
Upstate something. I can't remember.
But it's right in Philadelphia.
It was the state pen at Penn State.
Yeah, and it was notorious, like the most violent
in the history of
Americas. So you walk
through, you have headsets on, you're listening
to Steve Buscemi.
Eh.
Eh.
Is he from Philadelphia?
I don't even think so.
No.
He's from New York, isn't he?
I don't know.
He was a New York firefighter.
I know that because he, during 9-11, he rejoined the fire department to help out.
That was a famous...
Then he was like, help me carry this.
I'm so weak and spindly.
Anyway, he's a hero.
He just made everybody's job harder.
Just like, I forgot how to, oh, I dropped your tool down the drain.
I haven't lifted weights in 20 years.
Yeah, he's just on the end of a hose that's just spraying around in the air.
That jetpack water thing.
Where's Steve?
Pretty great. Yeah. ground in the air that jet pack yeah water thing where's steve pretty great yeah anyway he's he's a guy who volunteered after 9-11 and we're making fun of him um but like anyways uh is this what my question is this is all lead up to the question is this
the future of entertainment?
And if so, do I have to watch these shows with somebody so that I have somebody to talk to them about?
The way it works is like... I have somebody to talk to.
Because you watch 13 episodes of a thing and you're like, well, I'm going to find somebody who's seen it.
No one else is tweeting about it.
Yeah.
Because they watched it.
If they cared, they would have watched it when it came out.
Yeah, but it's like, it doesn't matter when it came out.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
They just put out all the episodes at once.
But it's not something, like, I remember with Arrested Development, people got excited,
like, oh, two more weeks, six more days.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was a countdown, and then nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Then it was like, these episodes
are really long.
Every episode, I guess you could talk about it
just after it happened.
And be like, hey, no spoilers this week.
I'm not caught up yet.
Versus just knowing that you watched it
until like 5 in the morning, resting
pizza on your stomach or something.
Yeah, that's all that happens.
At the end of it, you're just like, well, I watched
them all. Now what?
Do you want
Netflix to offer you a
service where they ask you to write a book report?
Or connect you in a forum
with everybody who just finished the episode.
Here, who else is watching? Although,
that's the most terrifying function
that Netflix provides. It's like, tell
everybody what you're watching on Facebook.
No.
No.
Oh, that sounds horrible.
What if I accidentally tell them I watch something...
Graham's watching Jack and Jill again.
They don't have pornography on Netflix, do they?
No, but they have stuff that would be embarrassing.
You're like, oh, I'm going to watch this documentary.
Then you get bored 10 minutes in, and you're like,
ah, just watch Ghostbusters again.
Yeah, exactly.
Moneyball usually keeps me entertained.
Oh, yeah.
That's something that pops up on Facebook.
Graham is pretending to watch.
Yeah.
Something about oil, but is actually watching.
Oh, I watched Ghostbusters 2 again.
I saw it on TV the other night yeah uh that's the
argument right there for no gust ghostbusters 3 yeah is gustbusters yeah gustbusters is the
anti-wind service ghost hutchers um that my favorite part of that movie is when they've
found out about vigo the master of of evil, trying to battle my boys.
That's not legal.
Um, did you just want to sing that, that part of the song?
No, I mean, I could do more if you would like.
Um, yeah, it's not, uh, there's no jokes in it.
That's what you, you realize you're like, oh, they're just really trading on the fact
that you're watching a Ghostbusters movie there's no actual oh there's one part where they uh um
that is the only joke in the movie they're harmonizing yeah so uh anyways uh what i'm
saying is the future of television is gonna to be lonely. It's lonely.
Because at least a movie comes out, it's in the theater for a certain amount of time,
and you saw it or you didn't see it.
And there was like, but like, I don't know, when did this TV, when did this show come
on Netflix?
Who knows?
Nobody knows when it started.
It was just there.
It was like the springtime.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
But then if you miss it, like, just don't watch it it because then you're just going to be by yourself just watching it
you're gonna be like that was great nobody cares nobody wants to talk about it recommendation
thing though like i think i recommended that top of the lake show from netflix
to some people and then as soon as they were done the conversation started or is it that
facebook feature where it says oh i'm watching this and
then people talk with you about it on facebook but then you ignore it until yeah block block
um is it yeah it's as frustrating as reading a book because you're like no one does that at the
same speed oh yeah finishing a book is just like the darkest place to be you're like i put a lot
of work into this and now nothing nothing can't add that to your resume yeah and it's just done
like there's no oh good i'll look forward to the sequel book like maybe sometimes there's a sequel
book but you know when you finish a book you're just like oh that was the worst I fell asleep so many times
why did I read that page so many times
yeah yeah yeah
now what do I do with this book I gotta get rid of the evidence
that I read this book
and then someday somebody
will be like have you ever read this book
and you'll go yeah it was alright
like that's the most
when was the last time you got in a conversation about a book
maybe when it came into a movie.
And you're like, was this as good as the book?
Yeah.
And you're like, I like the book more.
It was better.
Or are you like, I like the movie more?
I think it was about Great Gatsby.
Oh, yeah.
I hated that movie.
Oh, the new one?
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It was better than the book.
The book didn't have J.C.
The book didn't have Lana Del Rey.
Oh, maybe it did. She was in the flap of the yeah yeah she
she was uh she wrote the foreword oh anyway so that's all i did was i watched a whole thing of
a thing that nobody gives a shit that i watched it i mean it was good put it on your tombstone
oh i should watch all 13 episodes.
And you know what?
It does, though.
It makes me think, like, because when you watch your thing about prison, you're like,
you start thinking, like, what kind of skills do I have?
What would I bring to the prison?
Oh, man.
Nothing.
Me.
Me, nothing.
Yeah, but that's the thing, though.
You say that.
All those references.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
That's true.
If there's someone who really wants to talk about Peter Gabriel.
Yeah. And the Between Two Worlds tour.
But the main gal on the show, she doesn't have any special skills.
But everybody in the prison is like, oh, you're so smart.
And she ends up writing people's appeals for them because people don't have the skill to write.
Sure. So you yeah stuff like that if the prisoners want to start a prison podcast i can
edit it for them see what would you bring what would be your special skill shanking i don't know
oh yeah oh so you just bring in a real a real world prison skill i don't know i shanked a lot
of people on the outside what would you you know
you must have something do you have a skill can you do something what am i fighting off is it the
violence no you just you're just making yourself a valuable prison uh member you're bringing in
something you know like whereas somebody might be really good at holding people's head in a toilet
and drowning them right like that's like their thing they did on the outside what are you dancing okay yeah so you could be in the like
summer pageant yeah you can choreograph it you can choreograph those thai prisoners i'd like to
be like the silent person for a year and then just break out like that woman in a beautiful aria
in the pageant what are you talking about she doesn't talk the
whole time oh that's right nobody bothers oh i haven't seen it yeah yeah spoiler she's uh one
half of a magic act in the prison she never talks the other one never shuts up but the the one trick
they don't know how to escape out of prison did you know that Penn and Teller have a deal
with each other that
every hundred years they switch who talks
it was a terrible deal for Teller
every hundred years
what would you do
what skills would I bring
I don't know I don't think I
organization I think of uh
of gangs by by by uh preference of uh like you know i wouldn't see they feel like always in
the prisons the gangs are sorted along racial lines oh but that doesn't necessarily benefit
everybody gang wise no right like some gangs might be more interested in just being the gang what does drugs all the time.
Yeah.
So all those guys should be together.
Not a very, like, menacing gang.
No, that's the thing.
But that's where my skills come in.
I look at everybody's skill set.
Oh, you're like a mortgage broker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm like, your gang is great, but you don't have a good knife guy.
Here's five knife guys that don't have a gang.
I'd be like a prison matchmaker.
Exactly.
You're the gang that does drugs.
You're the gang that gives drugs for free to the other gang because they can't pay for them.
They have no prison money or prison skills.
They're on drugs all the time.
I mean, there's that one guy who takes speed. He does stuff really fast. Yeah.
He's good. Need him to fold.
I feel like I could do those.
I always see on the documentaries about prison
that they figure out how to use
noodles to make a
delicious meal or using
Fanta packets. Oh, you mean like noodles?
You mean cooking?
No. That's the worst example delicious meal or using Fanta packets. Oh, you mean like noodles? You mean cooking?
That's the worst example where it's like taking
He used noodles to create a delicious meal.
Taking lemon
Kool-Aid and then combining it with something weird
to make a lemon chicken. Oh, right.
In the microwave.
But not chicken, like using chicken noodle.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Making weird meals. But why do you think chicken noodle? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making weird meals.
But why do you think you would be good at this based on the two things that you just proposed?
Making food out of noodles.
I would be trying very hard for the first two weeks to find something I was good at.
And I'm not a breakdancer, but that came to my mind.
So you'd be like, guys, I can breakdance.
Everybody's like, all right,
let her breakdance.
You're like, I don't know.
Actually, I'm just lying.
I don't know how to breakdance.
I would be good in prison
if they needed someone
to avoid eye contact.
Yeah, I don't know.
Because, you know,
it'd be good if there was a tech guy,
a guy who knew some stuff oh yeah a hacker sound engineer
what are you in for i murdered
oh well um anyway so that's what i did and you're going to move on to and Cirque du Soleil. Oh, well.
Anyway, so that's what I did.
Do you want to move on to over-erds?
Yeah.
Sergio Diaz plays in a band called Os Mutantes.
His life was changed the first time he heard Elvis Presley.
The great thing in the world, it is to discover.
I mean, there's nothing better.
I'm Jesse Thorne.
My show Bullseye is about discovery.
We help you find the best music, the best movies, the best books,
and we talk to the people who make them. It's Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR.
Hello, I'm Judge John Hodgman. And I'm bailiff Jesse Thorne.
Can you force your girlfriend to listen to heavy metal music?
Is a machine gun a robot?
Is it okay to take coupons out of the garbage if you're Canadian?
What should you do if your parrot attacks your husband?
Can you prove that Crank 2 is a good movie?
Only one man can decide.
Judge John Hodgman.
If you have a case for the judge's court, visit fun.org slash jj ho if you just want to listen in find us on the web or free in itunes
overheard overheards uh this is a segment segment in which when you're walking down the street and you're feeling the beat.
Diarrhea.
Yeah.
Beep, beep.
Graham, shut up.
Oh, why?
Just keep going.
Okay.
Now, we always like to start with the guest when it comes to Overheards.
Sarah, it's been a year.
Oh, gosh.
I heard the same thing.
Oh, my God.
I was standing in an echo chamber.
It was, yeah, I was on a subway in Toronto just recently,
and there's two girls sort of 20-something gabbing,
wasn't really paying attention.
Was it a mirror?
Gabbing away. paying attention who was it a mirror um and just talking to myself yeah and started to finally pay attention uh and then uh one of them goes um he fools me once shame on me fools me twice shame on doug and part of me wondered if that wasn't even his name
he's a third party yeah
yeah shame on doug yeah uh i'm a member of the church of d, so he's involved in all of my social transactions.
Shame on Doug.
What's a funnier name than Doug?
Nothing.
Yeah, out of BC.
Terry.
Oh, man, you're right.
Yeah.
Terry for a guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually both.
Hi, I'm Terry.
Yeah, you're right.
It's funny.
Yeah, fuck that guy. Oh, man. Dave. Yeah, you're right. It's funny. Yeah, fuck that guy.
Oh, man.
Dave, you overheard?
Okay, mine is a...
Well, it's an overheard.
It also comes from the hockey game I went to last night.
Would you say that's the best game you can name?
Yeah, the good old hockey game.
And I was...
I went with my co-worker, Ben.
I'll call him my friend.
Upgrade.
Yeah.
I went with my friend, Ben.
And we're both hockey fans.
Did either of you wear a jersey?
No.
Okay.
We're not, you know, buffoons.
Yeah.
What's the dividing line?
I don't know. Jerseys, I feel like, have gotten way more affordable in the last 20 years.
Because when I was a kid, it was really weird for people to...
I mean, I still feel like they're super expensive.
Yeah, when I was a kid, you had a jersey.
And that was the jersey that you wore to like play ice rink hockey
and like street like you just had a like i had a team canada jersey right and that was my jersey
that i had for childhood right that's because your mom wrote a letter to mr eaton and he sent
you the wrong one because he was a fan of team Canada. Yeah, I really wanted a Team America sweater.
Yeah, and so you went to your church and you prayed for some moths to eat it.
This is, for the non-Canadian listeners, this is a classic Canadian tale.
Is it called the Occy sweater?
Yeah, maybe just the sweater.
The sweater.
You know this?
No.
No, really?
I don't think so.
Oh, it's in my childhood.
All of the children, they worship Rocky Richard.
Do you not know?
Wow.
Good night.
Good night, everybody.
Yeah.
It's a Roquefoisine story?
Oh, Louis Le Grenouille.
It's Rochecarrier, is that the first name?
Rochebeau.
Anyway. Rochefoisine is like a French Canadian singer. Yeah, the verse's name? Rush Bobois. Anyway.
Rush Vazine is like a French Canadian singer. Yeah, I know.
He's a very handsome singer.
Wow.
I was joking.
Get used to it.
But it just brought it back to me.
He was like the Phil Collins of New Brunswick.
The Phil Collins of New Brunswick.
I think he was a maritimer.
I know, but just that is such a specific title.
Some call him the Phil Collins of New Brunswick.
Like our culture is so vast that we have room for every equivalent.
Who's your local Phil Collins?
The provincial one
or the town Phil Collins?
So we're at the hockey game.
We're watching it
and something super unusual happens.
A guy, one of the players,
the blade comes out of his skate.
Oh.
That happens quite rarely.
Yeah.
And it's hilarious.
Because he's walking all funny?
Well, it's hilarious for a bunch of reasons.
Like, he's a big, strong athlete who can't figure out why he keeps falling down.
And then it's just such an unusual...
Like, you've taught yourself to skate for 20 years,
and then you can't figure out the mechanics
of having one skate that's just plastic on the bottom.
And so he keeps putting that down and wiping out.
And at this point, everyone...
It's the revenge of the nerds right here.
He's in his own zone,
and all the other players are on the other side of the ice
So he's by himself
The play is still going on
But he can't go anywhere
And he can't figure it out
And Ben and I are losing it
And the woman behind us
Thinks he's broken his leg
And so she's like
Why isn't anybody helping him?
He's broken his leg!
Why are you making fun of him?
Wow.
Just skate through the pain.
Skate through the pain.
Skate it off.
Because if he had broken his leg, he would just be lying down and they would stop it.
Put him out of his misery.
He doesn't want to live.
But he did kind of look like a horse with a broken leg.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I don't think I've ever seen that before.
That sounds really great.
Yeah.
Who won, by the way?
We did.
Awesome.
Good for us.
By default.
By skate broke.
Yeah.
They had to forfeit.
We ran out of skates.
They count your skates at the beginning and at the end
and if the numbers don't match up,
you forfeit. They bring out the bean counter.
Everybody does the wave. It's by weight.
Yeah.
Oh, boy. So that was mine. You?
Yeah. Mine is
an overheard.
There's a couple in my neighborhood, there's a
few regular panhandlers uh outside it
like they uh frequent regular spots there's two guys that frequent outside the shopper's drug
mart yeah uh one guy who doesn't matter what amount of change you give him he acts like you
just handed him like a ruby. He's just like, wow!
I've seen him do it for a dime, for paper money.
He's great.
He's in for a penny.
He's in for a penny.
He's my favorite.
Because he always is just like, wow!
Thanks!
And so he's great.
And then there's a couple way old guys.
They've got to be pushing up on like kind of like late 70s.
And they both look like they must own their own cattle ranch at some point.
Like they both are cowboys.
But you don't live in a cow neighborhood.
I don't.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't.
There's a shopper's drug mart.
Yeah.
One guy stands out in front of the Bilo grocery, and then there's another cowboy guy that he's sometimes in front of the liquor store, sometimes in front of the shopper's drug mart.
Anyways, I was coming out of the shopper's drug mart.
And these are panhandler.
These are panhandler guys.
Ranchers.
But yeah, like in full, and they've dressed like cowboys, like cowboy hats, crazy cowboy mustaches.
And when you give them money
they kind of say something like yeah they say you know sir or well if a lady did it they'd say
ma'am yeah yeah but much obliged yeah exactly so they're great and um one of the staff of the
shopper's drug mart was saying something to the guy and like accusing him of
something or whatever and i only just caught the tail end of it kind of rustling
uh and he said this is great because he said uh i've never been in your store
so beat it before i get my old lady down here to deal with you. I was like, wow, this guy's got a wife.
Or mother.
Yeah, that's true.
But, like, can you just have that?
Like, if you're married, is that part of the marriage arrangement that your wife has to
come and fight women that you get in?
That's the danger of writing your own vows, is that it can be interpreted.
That's true.
He put that in his vow yeah i i will uh i will brand all the cattle
that you ever need me to brand but if i get in a fight with a woman you have to fight her
yeah anyways it was great because it really that was the end of the argument was because he could
make threats he's not going to be able to make good on but if i get my old lady down here and
you're in big trouble has he never been in the store before?
Do you believe him for one second?
Is it the story that he stands outside all the time?
Yeah, but I don't think.
What's in a shopper's drug mart for an old cowpoke like him?
They don't sell whiskey.
I don't know.
Something to rub on your saddle sores?
That diabetes brand.
The old guy on the horse.
What?
Diabetes brand what? The old guy on the horse. What? Are you talking about?
Brand what?
See you later.
Type B.
Type B's brand.
I'm going to look it up when we're done.
Okay.
It's like an old white haired man on a horse.
Oh no
My memory
It's not Wilford Brimley
Is it?
He's the guy who says diabetes
Diabetes?
Is he on a horse?
There's a commercial with him on a horse
What's it a commercial for?
And what are they selling?
I don't think he's selling any.
He's not selling a brand of diabetes stuff.
Diabetes brand?
A suntan lotion.
I thought it was for medication for diabetes.
Like for an insulin thing.
Diabetes brand diabetes medicine?
It's really the brand we can't get over
like band-aid versus yeah bandage hey when you were a kid yeah do you remember if the band-aid
sniffle thanks sorry do you remember if the band-aid uh song was i am stuck on band-aid
brand or did they just stick in the brand in the last few years? I think they did because it was one of those words, right?
Kleenex, Xerox, Band-Aid.
Frisbee.
Yeah, like it's the brand becomes the word.
So I think they did.
They inserted brand because it was.
I was stuck on Band-Aid because Band-Aid stuck on me.
But then it's like rhythmically weird.
I am stuck on Band-Aid brand. Do you But then it's like rhythmically weird. I am stuck on Band-Aid.
Brand!
Do you know who wrote that song?
Russell Brand.
Barry Manilow.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow.
He wrote that?
He wrote... You're going to do great in prison.
Yeah.
Hey, you guys, Manilow trivia time.
Yeah.
Who wrote the State Farm jingle?
It was Manilow.
Prison trivia night.
Winner gets a shake.
Or not, if he doesn't want one.
Depends what you mean by gets a shake.
Gets a shank or gets a shanken.
Depends if you're watching Oz or not.
Guys, we also have overheards that have been sent in from
around the world. If you want to do the same
out there in listener land,
you can send it to spy
at maximumfun.org.
This is the first one
comes from
Maria H.
in Chelmsford, Ontario.
Was it Chelmsford?
Chelmsford. Ontario. Was it Chelmsford? Chelmsford.
She wrote recently, didn't she?
Unless we have a lot of listeners.
Chelmsford, who's your local
Phil Collins in Chelmsford, Ontario?
This is from all the way back in August.
I was in an urban
planet. I'm not sure what that is, but
hats and shirts,
I think.
I was in an urban planet jerseys
yeah jersey absolutely tank tops mesh tanks mesh or no yeah yeah um i was at an urban planet in
the mall and as i was looking at a shirt i witnessed this guy hey ladies if you need anything
let me know both girls look at him with disgust girl one okay girl
two we won't shame on doug yeah we won't just doing my job. Yep. Sorry. Sorry, ladies. Sorry for bothering you.
I love that that wasn't just one person.
We both hate you.
We won't.
Yeah.
We won't.
Now that we've dissed the guy at Urban Planet, what do we do now?
Let's go make fun of the guy at New York Press.
Do you want anything with that?
No.
We don't.
I can't stand talking to a salesperson unless like the 1% of times when I need to.
Yeah.
But I would never be like, oh, we won't.
Like, I get it.
Yeah.
No, I'm just browsing generally works.
Yeah, you don't have to really slam the guy in the process.
It depends on the question they ask.
Sometimes you come in and they're like,
did you find everything okay? And you've just
barely come in.
Like, well, I found what I was looking
for, but there's so much more out there
for me.
So many more tanks.
Yeah, I
don't think, I can't remember the last time
I was in a store where a salesperson
tried to help me. Oh, no. Like, I don't,, I can't remember the last time I was in a store where a salesperson tried to help me.
Oh, no.
Like, I don't, it's, yeah.
So that's not, that's as bad a feeling as the being approached right away is like, it's not going to bite.
It's not a waste of time.
The only employee who says anything When you come in
Is a guy talking into his walkie-talkie
Yeah, so you
You just walk up to people
Say, good, you
Hope they start talking to you
Nice and warm in this store
You do wear those
Fingerless gloves
Where's a flaming barrel I can
warm my hands with? I always put on a little soot
before I walk into the store so I'm not
disturbed.
This next one comes from
Joe Beth.
All one name. Joe Beth.
In Chicago. Is the B
capital? Yeah. Oh,
yeah, classy. Pretty cool.
If you could capitalize one letter in the middle
of your name, what would it be?
The H. Yeah, for me it would be the I.
The A. Nice.
Oh.
Which one? Second. Oh.
Oh, yeah. Awesome.
I was in a bar recently, and a man
walked in, sat down next to me,
ordered, and began talking to the bartender.
Somehow, they got on the topic of the customer's Hawaiian shirt, which they talked about for a couple of minutes.
Eventually, the bartender said, it has palm trees, a guy in a canoe, everything you'd want in a Hawaiian shirt, and walked away.
As he did so, the customer said, somewhat dejectedly,
yeah, except it wasn't
made in Hawaii.
Yeah.
We've all got secrets to tell.
That's what the bartender said.
Looks like something's bothering you, buddy.
I don't want to talk about it.
I'm a fraud.
I'm walking around like
I know so much about Hawaii
Well
How long
Did he say how long the bar
Or did she say how long the bartender was talking to him?
Couple of minutes
Okay
It's too long to talk about a shirt
Yeah
Well I mean like
Yeah you say
Oh my dad had a Hawaiian shirt
Oh cool
In summation
It's got palm trees, guy in a canoe.
It's like flat on the bottom.
It doesn't have that little.
Yeah, it's not intended to be tucked in.
No tails.
Yeah.
Why are shirts made like that with the scoop shape?
I don't.
Well.
Because you're a guy who understands fashion.
But they're so you can tuck them in and you don't have too much in your pants, I guess.
Right, if you made it.
If it was just flat all the way around, it'd be too much.
It'd be like tucking a hockey jersey in your pants.
Yeah.
But I guess.
That's a pretty funny look.
I don't know.
There's got to be a reason, right?
I have a shirt right now and it goes like whoop.
I know. There's got to be a reason. I have a shirt right now and it goes like whoop. I know. And there are shirts that I've tried to tuck in to things that like as soon as you sit down, you have a little bit of skin showing at the top of your hip.
Yeah.
Maybe it's for sweaters.
Because if you wear, you guys wear sweaters over top, like full sweaters sometimes, right?
Over button down.
And then if you had it fully, it would probably pucker out the sides that's a lot of design that's like the standard shirt though has this
yeah this scoop why you know for just sweater purposes no it's not for
oh yeah we won't in the middle
in the middle of sweaters oh no when we Diabetes brand sweaters. Oh, no.
When we were on break, Sarah was swearing up and down that Chris Maloney was married to
one of the Dixie Chicks.
And we found out that not only was that not true, it was, like, not even close.
Like, it was impossibly far away.
Who Chris Maloney actually was married to, and actually who was married to one of the
Dixie Chicks.
Yeah.
There was no crossover.
No, and they're both happily married to other people actually who was married to one of the Dixie Chicks. Yeah. There was no crossover.
No, and they're both happily married to other people for a very long time.
But I like that you wouldn't give it up, that you were like, wait, wait, did she used to be married to Chris Williams?
I don't know who did this to me.
Was she married to another Law and Order actor?
That's right.
Or was she married to another bald actor yeah we went down a lot of that
husband used to be bald yeah and then grew his hair back um all right this last one comes from
uh ohio from jp in ohio this is uh while crossing a foot traffic bridge, I passed a man carrying a small baby.
As I passed them and got out in front, I began to pass people walking the other way.
I heard a girl in her mid-twenties say to her friend,
What would you do if that guy just threw his baby under the bridge?
What a crazy thing to say.
What would you do?
I don't know.
You know that show, What Would You Do?
It's like hidden cameras.
John Quinones.
Yes.
But it's always like a slight, like, should I or shouldn't I?
There's never a guy whipping a baby off a bridge it's always
like a guy being mean to his date but then like 50 of the people wouldn't do it yeah a lot of
people pretending they didn't see it people stifling their laughter depending what color
the person is that's what they always do is that right yeah yeah they'll be like they'll have a
whatever they tried it with a brunette woman and a blonde woman and then, yeah.
Which one had more fun?
Which one was better at getting thrown off a bridge?
Yeah.
What would you do?
Bridge edition.
Yeah, would you congratulate the dad?
Here's somebody who comes up and starts patting the dad on the back.
Good job.
What was wrong with that baby?
Good work, man.
We've all wanted to do that.
But seriously, what would you do?
Dive and save the baby?
I guess you would.
You can't save the baby.
No.
Baby's so little.
You'd probably kill yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm judging you.
I mean, I don't know much about
this this foot traffic bridge it sounds like uh yeah it sounds like crazy like you're walking
into a real bad end of town yeah they should demolish that bridge so the bad element just
stays where they are i you i whenever i walk past um uh fire alarm, I always have a tiny temptation to pull it.
Yeah, absolutely.
I bet that person, whenever they see a baby, they have a tiny temptation to whip it off a bridge.
What would you do?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Would we still be talking?
I don't know.
Like, put this in full context.
Am I me? Yeah. Wait wait who are you yeah are we friends yeah check again uh in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept
your phone calls so if anyone wants to call us we urge you to do so. Take it upon yourself to type these numbers into your phone.
206-339-8328.
Hey, Dave and Graham.
This is Jason from Surrey calling in with an
overheard. I was at a
local rec center pool the other day
waiting for
someone, and while I was waiting, there was a woman
sitting there chatting on her cell phone
while watching her son in swimming lessons.
And she had all sorts of gems.
But I think my favorite one,
she was in the middle of an angry conversation
on the phone and she said to her friend,
I don't know why I can't find a job.
I mean, I majored in general studies,
so I should be qualified for pretty much everything.
The problem is you're too specific.
You're too qualified.
Yeah, I studied a little bit of everything.
We're worried if you take this job as a lawyer, you might become a doctor later.
You might get wooed away.
Yeah, we assume because you know a little, you could be a travel agent
or an archaeologist.
What is general...
Can you get a degree in general studies?
I didn't know you could do that.
Yeah, I mean, that just smacks of...
What makes a general like you need to be...
If you focus too hard,
you don't get the degree.
Yeah, on the test it says, essay question,
please be fake your
um uh your diploma is just a trivial pursuit with all of the wedges in like every different color flawless victory now um what we're talking about general studies yeah
what we're talking about just now yeah i lost track because all of a sudden i started thinking
about how it's not like lou reed passed away this week yes a week ago to the listener that's right and that there was a story
in the paper today about how lu big yeah like all sorts of people were like like r.i.p lu
yeah there was only one lu people and that was the dividing line like you're either familiar
with lu reed or lu big it's like you're either a Star Wars guy or a Star Trek guy.
Are you a Reed or a Bega?
Like, people didn't even just care.
Like, they just heard Lou and they were like, oh, no, Lou Bega's dead.
R.I.P.
Lou Bega.
Man, the headlines for his death are going to be something.
Yeah.
Heaven just got a little more, a little bit of Monica.
We're going to need a bigger plot.
We're going to need a bigger plot?
Oh, because by the time he dies, he's super fat.
And also, he was eaten by a shark.
And they can't get him out.
Yeah.
And they're going to bury them together.
That would be the most
obscure headline.
We're going to need a
big plot.
RIP Lou Bega.
The headline
never has a subtitle
that says RIP by the way.
Lou Bega dies.
RIP Lou Bega.
1, 2, 3, four, five.
Lubega is no longer alive.
Earth loses a beggar star.
Okay, you guys.
Here's your next phone call.
Hey, guys and wonderful wonderful guests this is dan in
new york i'm just walking down the street and i saw a kid maybe like 13 um on his skateboard but
he was in a full body banana costume which looked kind of lame until um about a half a block after
him came another kid on that skateboard with a giant gorilla head on, chasing after him.
Good teamwork.
It's like a Halloween costume.
Classic pairing.
Yeah, right?
There's something about riding around on a skateboard in a costume that makes it wonderful.
It seems a little jackass-y.
It's like one of the thinky jackass pieces that doesn't have anyone kicked in the crotch until the last minute it does didn't that uh bad grandpa didn't that like it did very well yeah
destroy at the box it shows that there was nothing that filled the gap of hilarious prank movies
that jackass left behind right and it's not like it's not like that hole is just
sealed up and people are uninterested they still want more prank movies yeah that's weird right
like because i hadn't thought about jackass since the last jackass movie yeah and they're like hey
we're gonna do this thing we're not gonna be we don't have a tv show anymore yeah but they're like
we're gonna do another movie and you're like I'm interested in seeing
what they come up with
like
right?
have you seen it?
no
it's great
I've seen the trailers for it
and it looks hilarious
you saw it?
no I haven't seen it
but it's just an old guy
driving into like
display cases and stuff
right?
he falls down
it's a
you know what it is
it's a
what would you do
the movie
oh I would go see that movie? It's a what would you do? The movie.
Oh, I would go see that movie.
Or would I?
What would you do if what you would you do? The movie came out.
Am I me?
Wait, no, you're Johnny Knoxville.
But not old man Johnny Knoxville.
Hot Johnny Knoxville.
Oh.
Oh.
Do you ever leave your trailer?
Remember when they put him in movies as an actor?
Yeah.
Dukes of Hazzard?
Yeah, and also...
He was in something...
That Dukes of Hazzard movie had a lot of people they just put in as an actor.
Yeah, Willie Nelson.
Jessica Simpson.
Yeah, and then the other guy.
That car?
That car wasn't...
The car.
Yeah, Kit.
Kit played the General Lee.
That car?
That car wasn't... Yeah, Kit.
Kit played the General Lee.
Wasn't he in a movie where he played a guy with Down syndrome?
No, he played a guy pretending.
Oh, yeah, even worse.
So he could win the Special Olympics.
Yeah.
What?
The ringer.
It was a real Johnny Knoxville joint.
Somebody let that movie happen.
Yeah.
I think he made it happen.
I think everyone
wanted it. It was a
terrible time. Yeah, Johnny Knoxville
also, to this day,
because of an accident during
Jackass, he has to, he uses
a catheter. Because
he, like, punctured his,
basically punctured his... Stop it.
Just stop it. His body with a motorcycle.
Just stop it.
Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
But isn't that crazy?
Like, he's not an old man.
He's playing an old man.
We're gonna need a big plot.
We're gonna need a big plot.
All right.
Here's your final overheard of the week.
Hey, Dave and Graham, Impossible Guest.
This is Jonas in Indiana.
And I was walking into a coffee shop and I heard a guy talking to one of his friends.
And he said, yeah, it's a different sweater every day.
Fuck.
I already fucked it up.
Fuck me.
Fuck this. Was that him fucking up. Fuck me. Fuck this.
Was that him
fucking up the overheard?
That's my favorite thing, is when
someone screws up their
overheard and gets mad.
Or gives up, or bails
in some way. That guy swore so much.
But he did call back immediately. But I also
thought it was funny as an overheard
where the guy's like, it's a different sweater.
I've already fucked it up.
I'm not even wearing a sweater today.
He sounded like he was backing up from the phone, too.
Like, fuck.
Oh, God.
He was throwing the phone.
He was standing in the same place.
But he called back immediately.
There we go.
Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests.
I was walking into a local coffee shop and I heard a guy say to one of his friends
yeah, it's a different sweater vest
every day. That's how it goes
during sweater vest week.
Anyway, that's it.
That's all I thought it was going to be.
Bye.
He's disappointed.
I like it.
That Midwestern vibe.
It's picking up those Midwestern vibes.
That's the accent I wanted.
My news anchor. Giving me those
bummer news.
Sweater vest update.
Well, we're stuck in the middle of
sweater vest week. So you know what that
means. Traffic jams.
Well, that
brings us to the end of this
here episode.
Now, Sarah.
Yeah.
You're going everywhere, right?
You're all over the map.
Well, just this summer.
This summer.
Again, this is not the summer.
Okay.
Where can people go to find out where to find Sarah next?
I guess you can find me on the twitter
yeah at the sarah with an h at the end you're the sarah yeah wow got in there early but sarah
sloboda is that too hard to spell is that why you didn't pick that i feel like that uses a lot of
the 140 characters oh you're expecting some large replies. You want people to not be brief when they mention you.
Oh, fuck, I fucked it up already.
That's an easy way to find me.
The Sarah.
The Sarah, okay.
Website anywhere?
Tegan and Sarah doing anything in the future?
Just Google Tegan and Sarah.
You'll find us.
Yeah.
Tegan and Sarah improv.
Oh, there's another one? Oh, is there a more famous Tegan and Sarah improv oh there's another one oh is there
a more famous
Tegan and Sarah
Tegan Verhal
my dual partner
her aunt
like comments on things
just being
just saying
or no
her aunt's friend
always comments being
I always hear her
on the radio
I'm so proud of you
with complete
totally genuine I love it she's trying to support
absolutely did you and tegan start this duo because the name made you laugh we did we did
a one-off show thinking let's just do a 10 speed show which is a local show right and then liked
playing together kept doing it and then thought about changing the name, but it was too late.
We already had business cards made up.
Yeah.
So is it TeganAndSarahImprov.com?
No, we don't have a real website.
Yeah, so why is it too late to change it?
I guess.
We're committed to it.
Yeah.
It's our names.
Too deep.
Like, yeah. Oh, you know who's in too deep
Phil Collins
I'm in too deep
you know who's
I don't know
Lou Bega
you know who's
I don't know
Lou Bega
yeah is it Lou Bega
oh you should do an improv
we're gonna change our name
to Lou Bega
oh
that's much better
that is pretty good
too soon he just died no no no you move his hurt oh my god what We can change our name to Lou Bega. That's much better. That is pretty good, actually. Too soon.
He just died.
No, no, no.
You misheard.
Oh, my God.
What?
From the Velvet Underground?
I buried my zoot suit for nothing.
Why would you bury your zoot suit?
Anyways.
Good night.
Good night.
If you like the show, check out MaximumFun.org for pictures and videos relating to the content of the podcast.
Surely a Phil Collins song.
Yeah, or the entire movie Buster.
Maybe, oh no, probably that Phil Collins song, the video with Ultimate Warrior.
Oh yeah, yeah.
And that song that Sarah keeps singing about jumping in the water.
Oh yeah, Kiss That Frog by Peter Gabriel, track nine off of us.
And, yeah, if you like the show, you can get in touch with us, Maximum Fun.
Oh, shit.
That is spy at MaximumFun.org.
My brain has been broken by this old Lubega scandal.
And you can reach us at 206-339-8328.
If you like the show, tell your friends,
and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
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