Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 369 - Eddie Della Siepe
Episode Date: April 13, 2015Comedian Eddie Della Siepe joins us to talk straws, YouTube ads, and doomed comedy shows....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 369 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's, I basically recovered from a cold last week and is feeling mighty fine, Mr. Dave Shumka.
Yeah, there was some times there I didn't think I'd make it.
Yeah, was it your times there I didn't think I'd make it. Yeah.
Was it your faith that pulled you through?
It was my faith in...
Probiotics.
Yeah.
My faith in yogurt.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Antibiotics.
No.
Yogurt's probiotic.
No, I know.
But in my head, I was like, what's the thing that oh no i didn't feel better
i didn't take anything i mean i took things nothing works no the only things that work
are the things that just knock me out and let me go have a sleep yeah the the uh coughing
colding sneezing runny nose so you can get some rest medicine nyquil is that the one bingo yeah
and our guest today uh great now i going to forget the name of his podcast.
You son of a gun.
Barely Friending is the name of his podcast.
He has an album coming out on iTunes.
And a very funny comedian indeed, Mr. Eddie Della Seppi is our guest.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for being on the show.
Yeah.
Love the show.
It's a great show.
Should we get to know us?
Yeah.
Get to know us.
So you're up here for a couple of weeks.
A couple of weeks, yeah.
Hanging out.
Hanging out.
You're living in LA now.
Yeah, yeah.
I moved there January 2014.
Okay.
Yeah.
And? Did you talk to my mom before this is that what she does she
just opens just opens with a hand and uh wow wow me eddie wow wow me in this friendly casual podcast
it's been fun yeah it's been interesting um doing comedy up
in canada for like so long and then kind of starting over with a skill set it's kind of right
you know what i mean like it's like do people see you and then go oh hey you're good at that
they're like uh they assume you're bad because everyone's talks a big game there i assume
and then they say oh you do have jokes and after 13 years i mean I assume. And then they say, oh, you do have jokes. And after 13 years, I mean, you hone something.
And then they're very surprised.
Because they only have seven minutes increments to actually work on their act.
Whereas we grow and we have exponentially more time.
That 10,000 hour rule kind of applies more.
What's this rule?
I don't know this rule.
No.
Malcolm Gladwell.
Canadian author.
Oh, you guys both know this rule.
Get out of here.
I'm going to go.
10,000 hours.
It's track one on...
Rent.
What's his name?
That white rapper?
Macklemore?
Is it really?
Yeah, it is.
Are you quoting Macklemore and Knock on Glass?
Oh, wow.
They're sort of the two big guys in my religion.
Big guys?
Hey, come here, big guy.
I give them noogies.
Yeah, no, it's like
you have to get to do
10,000 hours of something to be good at it.
Okay.
He basically explains that
he talks about Bill Gates
in the book, too, Outliers,
about how
everyone assumes he's just super smart and that's why he is who he is.
Right.
But in fact, the reason why is because he went to this affluent school on the West Coast and they were the only school in all of America that had a computer.
And no one else wanted to use it.
And the computer, they couldn't afford to keep the computer, but there was a company that the principal knew that needed people to help program his computer.
And they thought, well, we have these kids that like were using computers.
So we had to have like a co-op program.
Yeah.
Ah.
So we had access to something when no one else had access.
So we went to Harvard or Yale or whatever school it was.
He had all this programming experience right when the personal computer came out.
But like, what is 10,000 hours?
What is that roughly?
Well, because he had,
oh, what is that roughly
in terms of days?
Yeah, like days or years.
It'd be funny if this podcast
was just explaining
a book for two hours.
A book, by the way,
that I have not read.
But I know the examples.
It's like the Beatles.
When they were young,
they all went to Hamburg
and they played every night
at multiple clubs all night long.
And then Wayne Gretzky, his dad built him a rink in the backyard so he could play nonstop.
But what if you do something for 10,000 hours and you still stink?
You come out the other end and then like...
You don't get mentioned in the book, that's for sure.
Then there's this guy.
Or Ralph.
Yeah, this guy.
Rodney.
Tried all these things.
10,000 hours is 416 days and 16 hours.
So, yeah, like you could really.
Could really hurt a guy.
So imagine doing 416 days of comedy, like all those hours in your whole career.
You got to eventually be good at it.
But do you though?
Some guys are just still doing the same 10 minutes. That's true. But you're really good at good at it. But do you, though? Some guys are still doing the same
10 minutes. That's true.
You're really good at those 10 minutes.
No one does those 10 minutes like anybody.
I saw Malcolm Gladwell in a cafe in Toronto.
I saw his 10 minutes.
It's garbage.
He just talks about how much money he's got.
Don't I look like if Sideshow Bob
had a baby?
He does look like Sideshow Mom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like half Jamaican, half Welsh or something.
Okay.
But I saw him.
Malcolm Gladwell.
It does sound like a really like regal name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For a Jamaican person.
What was he doing in the cafe?
Did you observe him?
He was reading his own book.
Holding it like.
Yeah, I hope someone notices me.
What's that?
Yes, this is me.
But I thought it'd be.
How many hours have you been making coffee for?
Dumped it out.
I thought it'd be funny to go up to him and just be like, I finalized it by doing it, but I couldn't do it.
They're like, hey man,
huge, huge fan.
He goes,
oh, thank you.
You know,
like I'm a big fan of the book.
I love the book.
Big Da Vinci Code fan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And just like,
I don't know.
Yeah, that's me.
Just close with it.
Yeah,
if somebody thought I was the author of a thing,
like you're very welcome.
Let me sign your book.
But yeah, so have you been doing comedy for 10,000 hours, do you think?
I don't think so.
I've did 13 years.
But like, does it count the time you spent writing, time you spend practicing?
What about time you just spent fantasizing about?
Or just like dropping a line in like a party?
Yeah.
Like working bits into bits of conversation. You're like, a line in like a party. Yeah. Oh,
like working bits into bit of conversation.
You're like that.
I'm deducting it.
Like taxes. It's like loaded,
like a panel talk.
Yeah.
Like this lunch was technically part of one of my hours.
I'm kind of working towards my 10,000 hours.
But,
uh,
I spent 10,000 hours eating for sure. Yeah. I'm not that working towards my 10,000 hours. But I spent 10,000 hours eating, for sure.
I'm not that good at it.
I still bite my tongue here and there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I still bite my lip.
But you never, like, way overjudge.
You know, it's like the distance.
Stab your eye with a fork.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, the food's not flying over your shoulder.
But I guess it isn't when you're a baby. Like, it pretty fast yeah how many hours of eating do you need that'd
be a funny thing if somebody just saw somebody at a dinner table just stab their eye but and just
say he just says i'm new yeah continue yeah or he's only like 9900 hours there was uh i was uh
for some other uh thing i was researching the history of the fork.
And this,
the first time that the fork like made an appearance in Europe was this woman showed up with a fork at a very fancy dinner.
Like everybody had knives,
but they would just eat with their hands.
And when she,
he,
with a fork,
everybody thought it was so scandalous.
It burned her?
Well, no, she died of the plague.
And then the head cardinal in the region said, it's because she ate with a fork.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, no, for real.
There wasn't a guy who held up a phone to the fork and was like, hey, I can't think of a famous fork company.
Anyway, you know that new...
Always had a co.
Fork co.
You know that new sound you're looking for?
Well, listen to this.
It's, yeah, so anyways, the lady brought the fork.
What year, like, they just used their hands?
They used, yeah, they would...
But how long ago was that, like, 1900s?
1920s? 1920, it was before when it was during world war one but yeah everybody thought it was so like the
height of do you think the guy that came up with the spork thought this was going to be big too
yeah i think the guy who thought uh the the spork was going to explode and everybody was like,
no, it's fine.
I can have both.
Like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I've never used a spork before.
No, me either.
You?
No.
I feel like that's like a camping thing.
Yeah, I was thinking camping as well,
but I was also thinking plastic.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I feel like a spork in a canteen.
That makes sense.
Have you ever seen it?
Oh, it's like
because you're packing light.
I don't have room
for a spoon and a fork. Yeah, I need my gun and my canteen and my spork and a canteen. That makes sense. Oh, it's like because you're packing light. I don't have room for a spoon and a fork.
Yeah, I need my gun and my canteen
and my spork. But I would just
tie my fork and knife
to my hat or something to keep
bugs away. Sure.
And it's a nice wind chime.
Keeps bears away while you walk through the woods.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I don't know because there hasn't been
utensil-wise,
anything that's caught on basically since the fork.
Yeah, I'm guessing chopsticks were pre-fork.
Yeah.
Yeah, like they—
But a world apart.
But, yeah, like spoon, knife, fork, chopsticks.
Am I missing?
Is there some—and then hands, like there's still lots of—
Your hands, yeah.
—culture that you can eat.
Well, there's the corn cob holders.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
But I'm thinking like if somebody came up with a new utensil.
Right.
Like the spork was probably the last thing.
Does the straw count?
I mean, the straw was probably pretty wild.
That was wild.
But that would have been, that was maybe like, there was maybe a hollowed out stick or like something in nature that resembled a straw.
I feel like a straw was like thrown in like Coney Island in the 30s.
Oh, yeah.
Come on around.
Look at this crazy stick.
Going to the World's Fair.
The water from the bottom comes right up to the top.
We just bit the ends off a Twizzler.
Alexander Graham Bell, I think, used to drink soup out of a glass straw.
Really?
Yeah.
He was weird.
That's so odd.
Can you imagine?
He probably invented a bunch of stuff that totally didn't catch on, and the phone was
the one thing that was like...
Really?
Does he have other inventions?
Yeah.
All these inventors didn't just invent one thing, and then they must have invented a
bunch of crap.
Right.
Like the soup, the glass soup straw.
So hot.
So hot on your lips.
But, yeah, I don't know.
Like, I don't know, man.
If somebody's out there working on utensils.
I remember when my brother got married, my parents, my mother made him.
I think my mother made them because she does, like, metal work.
She made these float straw metal work uh she made
these float straws and she made a big deal about it float straw it's for when you're having a root
beer float it's a spoon it's basically like the slurpee spoon oh straws with a spoon on the end
oh wow uh but it's made of metal and you you drink through it but it's also got a little spoon on the
end and she was like i got you i made you these because we lost our old ones.
But how often are you eating?
Are you having root beer floats?
I have one with every dinner.
That's how I round up my day.
A food-specific utensil is pretty weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I guess the shish kebab, that's an all-in-one, right?
A skewer?
A skewer, yeah.
And then...
Steak knives, that's specific for a steak.
Yeah, I feel like...
Butter knives?
Like knife was probably the first.
Right.
And then probably spoon came along when people were sick of dunking their hands in soup.
I think spoon was probably before knife.
Yeah, maybe.
Or it was probably something that cut whatever off
and then you could lift it to your mouth.
It was a, whatever, a spoon knife.
I just picture like a utensil historian
screaming at this podcast.
Yeah.
No!
Send us a timeline.
I want to see like a an infographic
the evolving
of utensils
yeah I wonder
well the first was like
a stick
that they used
to collect ants
before
oh yeah
when we were
apes
and like
what if
we just start
drinking like
some sort of
you know
gelatinous fluid
that has all the
you know nutrients we need
that's gonna need its own utensil right be it a straw or uh some sort of sure injector
yeah injector a lot of food tool yeah yeah uh like we've got a a whole drawer of stuff that
like every time abby's mom comes to visit she she brings me three or four new things
that i was like well i i know you like kitchen stuff and you have everything already so here
are the new things i found huh there's still newer stuff coming the latest thing she got me was
um it's basically like when you're slow slow cooking something and you put like a sprig of thyme and rosemary.
You put those roasting herbs.
Yeah.
They're all on sticks.
They're all just like right out of the garden.
Oh, right.
Okay.
And she gave me this like silicone thing that holds them so they don't break apart into the food.
So it's basically like a big silicone tea bag for
your for your herbs for your roasting herbs wow that's how much kitchen tools i have that i've
graduated to that level oh my god wow 10,000 do you really need it i know you don't need any of
it yeah well you don't need a fork.
Obviously, they got by without it.
It's easier than picking out little bits of rosemary from your shanks.
Yeah, I like to think in the year 3000 that people would be like,
can you believe that people picked out their rosemary from a bunch of savages?
But it's great.
I look forward to using it.
It's not really slow roasting season though at the moment.
Got to wait until it's wetter weather.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw the most interesting utensil.
I guess you could consider it an utensil.
Online, it was like an automatic egg cracker.
Yeah, I saw that.
Did you see that on Facebook?
I was on, and there was like an attachment that separated the yolk from the-
Chaff.
From the chaff.
Yeah.
Is that the word for it?
No, the white.
Okay.
But how does it,
what is it like,
it's like a can opener
kind of thing?
No, it's,
I thought it was so cool.
I can't explain it.
I can't explain it.
I think it's just like
this sort of like,
almost like a nutcracker thing.
Yeah, it kind of like
slices and pulls apart
perfectly.
Oh, yeah.
Like so perfectly.
Like I was like watching it, I was like watching.
I was like, man, that is...
And of course,
in the commercial,
there's people struggling
with like eating a muffin.
Like, oh, it's flag shells.
Yeah, yeah, she did do that.
And it was like a finished quiche.
And she was like,
duh!
Why am I cracking eggs
and then just walking away
and not even looking?
Yeah, yeah.
Because I'm very busy.
I would love to see, like, an infomercial like that where, like,
things happen to their lives, variables,
but they blame it on the fact that they can't crack the egg properly.
Like, a daughter comes home with an interracial relationship,
and he's like, no!
He blames the egg cracker.
Yeah.
Oh, if I didn't get one of these egg crackers.
I blame the egg crackers.
Um,
yeah,
I don't know.
Like there's,
it's amazing that,
that it's been,
it's 2015 and something that's so simplistic and it's not,
it's just a mechanism.
Yeah.
It should have came out this year.
Cause it easily came out like 10 years ago.
Yeah.
Now.
Yeah.
Or 50 years ago.
Or maybe there's like,
there's like a, a utensil tycoon is like keeping things back. Like, Oh yeah. You're not ready for it. Yeah. And just now? Yeah, or 50 years ago. Or maybe there's like a utensil tycoon
who's like keeping things back.
Oh, yeah, you're not ready for it.
Yeah, I watch back.
No, no, no, no.
Let's just get the slap chop
and then we get this out.
Yeah, big utensil.
God, you're evil.
You just look over
looking at the city, right?
Yeah, the fork lobby.
Even his dad.
But I don't even own
that many utensils.
Total.
Like, I think I've got a couple of forks and some spoons.
Right.
A knife or two.
My mom.
A whisk.
Do you like to cook?
No, I hate it.
But a spatula.
Right.
What do you mean spatula?
The flipper or the...
Oh, a flipper.
Yeah, a flipper. Is that not a spatula? Well, they call the other thing a spatula. Oh, the thing uh Flipper Yeah Flipper
Is that not a spatula
Well they call
The other thing a spatula
Oh the thing that you mix
Yeah
Yeah
The little rubber guy
Yeah
Oh yeah
I don't have a lot of utensils either
When we were talking about
Do you cook
I do cook
But not very well
What's your signature dish
I don't know
I just reheat
Fish and chicken
And make sure Some of the greens on the plate When we were talking about straws I couldn't help but I just reheat fish and chicken and make sure
something green is on
the plate.
When we're talking
about straws, I
couldn't help but
think my mom used to
do this.
My mom's from a
third world country.
She's from Peru.
So she still has
third world tendencies.
So like she'll be
like, hey, there was
like an old hockey
helmet in this guy's
front lawn.
Take it.
Like why?
Like this, it's
garbage.
Take it. Get it. It was on his front lawn. Take it. I don't want to touch it, but you take it like why like this but it's garbage it was on his front lawn take it like like
i don't want to touch it but you take it yeah and it's been discarded she's it's still good
right she still has that tendency yeah i guess where you have to reuse things out of necessity
but my mom would always we'd always go to mcdonald's and she'd always take like a handful
of straws yeah always and ketchup i'm talking like a handful of straws. Yeah. Always. And ketchup.
I'm talking like a fistful.
Like, you know, like you ever see those pictures of a guy that has like a record amount of cigarettes in his mouth.
That guy?
Right.
Yeah.
He'd have that many straws.
And we'd have, we would use straws once, like you'd have a glass of water at home or like some soda and you would like drink it from the glass yeah why would you ever need a straw at home you know what i mean if
royalty drops by you want to here have our finest yellow and white straws yeah obviously stolen and
she had like a drawer full of them if you make a shamrock shake at home yeah and she always grabbed
them like we had enough oh wow it was kind of like hoarder-ish. So, on the one hand, she would steal these things from McDonald's, but on the other hand, she would overuse them at home and like, take off and say, like, the straw supply is endless.
Like, I don't have insulation, I'm just full of straws.
Yeah.
Just sending you to school every day with a new straw.
Here, have a pen.
That's a straw.
There's a pen in it.
Yeah, I was at Starbucks the other day, and I was at the, what do you call it?
Like, Fixin's?
Yeah, the Fixin's.
Yeah, the Fixin's.
Where they have jimmies.
Yeah, the Starbucks salad bar.
And I saw a guy take so many napkins he took like a phone book size of napkins
yeah and and just jammed it in his uh no he did in his pants no in his uh his hoodie oh pouch
okay was he disenfranchised is he like no no no no he's like a businessman well he was wearing a
hoodie so he's somewhere between disenfranchised and businessman.
But man, he took
a lot of napkins.
I fully support that.
How many, like a stack
like yay much?
I'm not going to do that, but I'm in favor of it.
Because sometimes
there's a place I go to for
noodles on the go, called Noodles on the Go.
No, it's called Noodle Box.
And the napkins come out one at a time, and you have to make a big thing.
And I always get it to go.
Right.
I'm grabbing a bunch of napkins, like whipping out four.
Sure, sure.
They're like Kleenex.
They treat them like Kleenex.
Yeah.
For some reason.
But I just want, and I get why they do it, because I don't want someone.
Yeah, discouraging you from like taking a step.
From grabbing a whole heap.
But I think if I saw somebody at a noodle place or a burrito place doing it,
I'd be like, that's a person who doesn't want to get stuff on their clothes.
Yeah, right.
This guy had a coffee with a lid on it.
Yeah.
I was like, what are you...
Yeah, the napkins at a Starbucks are to clean up the coffee you spilled
while putting sugar in your coffee.
It reminds me of, remember when we were young, you'd like comedians tell stories of how to save money on the road.
And like what you do is you take all the toilet paper.
What?
From the hotel?
From the hotel.
And you take your old light bulbs that are burnt down and switch them with their light bulbs and you have fresh light bulbs.
I've never heard that one before.
There's like a lot of Ontario comedians
that would have,
that are true road dogs.
Right.
Like,
I don't know if they say names,
but like,
I've heard of stories where like,
like they just like have these like,
how to like save money on the road store.
Like you buy like Kraft dinner
and you make it in the coffee per capita.
Coffee pot.
I was taught that,
that you buy like a can of stew or whatever.
Right.
And then you heat it up in the
coffee pot yeah you take all the hotel in the hotel yeah it's all in the hotel so you take
the toilet paper always a bit funny if you're just like a guy who got it all wrong like what
you do is you make you make crap dinner in the toilet and you shoot in the percolator
to show them who's boss
yeah i've uh i'm trying to think if I ever heard...
Did you ever, when you were starting comedy,
I was thinking about this the other day.
Did you ever get a bit of advice from an old-time comic
about something like,
never, you can never do this.
Like, one comic told me never to wear flashy shoes.
Yeah, I've heard that too.
Really?
I think I maybe heard it from you, though.
Yeah, like, because it'll distract from your face. face like if people are looking at your shoes wow but like
yeah who beyond the front row can see your shoes i guess depending on the venue yeah and i think
it was advice aimed at uh some sort of zoot suit wearing character or at like look at this Kid's got better shoes Than me What do you say
I don't know
Just
Yeah
We're
Calming down
I was told
Never wear shorts
Yeah
I feel like
That's true
I feel like that's fair
That's fair
I feel like
That holds up
Yeah
But was there ever one
That it was like
I'm trying to think of
Like advice
I'm thinking about
The first time I did stand up
I was really young.
I was 17.
Okay.
Where did you do it?
Like a club?
Yeah.
Yuck Yucks Comedy Club in Toronto.
And, uh, I wanted to be a comedian for a while.
And then I went and I remember back in the day they used to have like the source seminar thing where you'd sit down, the headliner would talk and he would like, you know, Hey, all right.
So, uh, we're going to help, help you write jokes. And he asked everyone to say would like, you know, hey, all right, so we're going to help you write jokes.
And he'd ask everyone to say things,
and they'd workshop bits and stuff like that.
Yeah, and you're like, where do you get your toilet paper?
Let me tell you.
And I remember being young and nervous,
and it was getting late.
It was like 11.30, and I was still in high school.
And there was a guy who was with me,
first time too, and he was just like Rick Moranis like exactly like Rick Moranis oh wow good comedy and I remember
him saying to me I was like I think I'm gonna go I'm just gonna leave it's getting really late he
goes no no no it's like oh man I'm really nervous and I'm kind of looking down he's like and I don't
remember him having this with him. I swear to God,
he was just like,
he's just giving me advice saying,
just be yourself.
I was like,
okay.
And then I turn around and he's like,
tuning a violin.
And I'm like,
what's that?
And he's like,
oh,
I'm going to incorporate classical music with comedy.
Oh,
so it's going to be like,
or whatever.
He's just going to be,
so if you think it was
kind of ahead of his time
because, you know,
like Galifianakis and guys
would play piano or like,
maybe Dimitri Marantz.
Or behind the time
because what's his name?
Henny Youngman used to show up
with a violin.
But he would just play,
he was just tuning his violin.
I thought it was so funny
to have a violin
randomly appear like that.
Like, just be yourself
and then he's playing a violin.
Oh, man.
But just like,
yeah, I'm going to.
And he bombed horribly. Yeah, here's what'll be popular everyone loves classical music these days yeah yeah yeah can you imagine if you went out you're you're there you're with a bachelor party
at the club yeah some guy walks over the violin you're like oh boy
now for some humorous haiku.
Sherry's on special during my set.
I'll never forget that guy.
Yeah.
That was the first advice I forgot in the comedy.
It was from a man with a violin.
Yeah.
Who's clearly crazy. Just be yourself.
I forget all the advice, but so much of it was so bad.
Yeah, a lot of it. It always came from the guys you didn't want so much of it was so bad. Yeah.
A lot of it always came from the guys who didn't want to be,
I felt.
Yeah,
exactly.
Because the guys that you wanted to be just did their own thing.
And they'd say,
it's like,
I don't know,
man,
you'll figure it out.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Good set.
Yeah,
exactly.
Yeah.
But there would always be a guy who would come,
he would have this,
uh,
you know,
there was one guy who used to run one of the clubs here and he used to say,
like,
don't use so many words with the
letter t are you serious yeah yeah he was like you're that's like he's a comedy killer yeah
yeah like thanks what did i say i'm like oh yeah thanks yeah i mean yeah uh what did i say about
phonemes uh but yeah he was like no you're saying too many T sounds or something.
He ran a club here?
Yeah, he managed a club.
I've never heard of that.
That's so weird.
No, but it's like, that's the type of guy I'm talking about.
There's these guys who are like, don't.
Somebody was telling me that somebody told him not to have anything in your pocket.
I kind of, you know, there was a guy on stage recently I saw in California
that had so much
in his front pockets
and the jeans
were like
his jeans were
relatively tight
and I was like
he has like
everything
like that's fine
it's such a weird
juxtaposition of like
I want no one
to see what I have
but I want people
to know that I have
things in my front pockets
it was so bulky
but like
I could not stop
beyond your
like phone and
wallet and keys.
I don't know
what he had
like maybe like a
wig.
Got a small violin.
But it was so much.
It was so much
I could not stop staring
at the fact that
his pockets were
jam-packed.
I once took a
songwriting course
in university
for great credit.
Like for lyrics?
Or for everything?
Yeah, but it was also, there was a
performance aspect to it, and the teacher
gave performance tips, and she was like,
never wear
a watch on stage,
and before you sing,
drink milk.
Really?
Which seems counterintuitive, but it's like, you know, you want a little bit of that.
Oh, really?
Why milk?
I guess it creates a film of...
Yeah.
Cultivates saliva in your throat.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't had milk in like eight years.
What are you...
Really?
Yeah.
And the reason why is because my doctor was saying I was getting, I have a deviated septum,
so I was getting chronic sinus infections.
Okay.
And my throat was, I'm sorry, a chronic strep throat.
And he said that, he asked me about my diet, and then I said that, oh, I drink a lot, I
drink milk.
And he's like, well, it just creates a film, and then it cultivates like bacteria, and
it sticks to it, and then you get like stre and it sticks to it and then you get strep throat.
Because it's unnatural liquid to yourself.
The deviated septum is always, in movies,
the excuse why somebody had a nose job.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I feel like that's a joke I've heard a couple times in movies.
You had a nose job.
Oh, I had a deviated septum.
Did they ever say you had to have a surgery or something?
Yeah.
I snore really badly.
Really?
Like, like really, really badly.
Like debilitatingly.
Like, does it wake you up?
No, this is true.
I went to go sleep over my, my folks place.
This is three years ago.
I was like, before you go to bed, here's a straw for your nose.
No.
And I was lying down on the couch and I woke up and my dad was watching TV, but really
quietly.
And then he turned to me and said, no woman will marry you.
Oh no.
I go, why?
He goes, you got to get that fixed.
Because of my snoring was so bad.
Really? But it's an odd thing to say to someone right when they wake up. No one will marry you. I go why Because you gotta get that fixed Because of my snoring was so bad Really
But it's an odd thing to say to someone right when they wake up
No one will marry you
Yeah after observing your sleeping habits
Which is more creepy than just watching me
Do you snore?
I don't know
I sleep by myself
Yeah I don't have
I feel like I've been around you when you were sleeping
When would that have been? I don't know a... I feel like I've been around you when you were sleeping. When would that have been?
I don't know.
Did we ever...
Camping trip?
No, we've never shared a...
I don't think we've ever shared a hotel room.
A thin wall?
No, I don't think so.
A thin wall?
I've definitely had to share hotel rooms on the road.
Oh, maybe like on an airplane you fell asleep.
I can see that.
But that doesn't count.
No, I don't know.
Although I've been told that I thrash.
Like an air guitar?
Yeah.
Yeah, you just air guitar in your sleep?
Do you shred?
He's a sleeping shredder.
Like apparently I just like kick and...
Really?
Limbs go in every which way.
Do you remember that Mike Rabiglia story, which is great about sleepwalking?
Yeah, where he jumped through the window.
He jumped through a window and he has to sleep in this sort of sleeping bag that keeps him stable.
And he's got to wear, doesn't he have to wear mittens in the sleeping bag?
Yeah, so he can't.
That's so crazy.
Babies are the same.
You put them in a sleep sack.
Oh, do you really?
It's just basically that.
It's like a sleeping bag with arms.
But the arms are covered, yeah. Oh, wow. really? It's just basically that. It's like a sleeping bag with arms. But like the arms are covered.
Oh, wow.
It gets there.
We haven't done it yet.
But so what?
So the baby doesn't claw itself?
Well, it's just so they don't startle themselves awake.
Right.
I think.
I wouldn't be a good dad.
I wouldn't know how to do that.
No.
Here's your king size bed.
To like a California king.
Well, don't worry about it. No one's going to marry you. No. Well, don't worry about it.
No one's going to marry you.
No.
Yeah, we heard from your dad.
Tell him again.
Yeah, I don't know.
What's your, do you snore?
No, I don't.
I don't.
Except for if I sleep on my back, but I never do.
Right.
But like occasionally I'll fall asleep watching TV on my back and I'll wake myself up.
Right.
And it'll be like, I'll look over at Abby and I'll just say, sorry.
And turn over onto my side.
I think that I snore, I have to be on my side specifically in a certain way.
And then I will be, it will be limited.
Right.
But when I was living with, staying with this girl for a while, be, it will be limited. Right. But when I was living with,
staying with this girl
for a while,
I trained myself
to sleep better
because just through
her pushing me
or whatever.
But now that I'm on my own
for over a year and a half,
I don't,
I don't know what's happening.
Yeah.
But it's fine.
I have my own.
I wonder if I should go
to a sleep clinic
or something.
I find that kind of creepy.
Yeah.
Just have people
moderating me
and watching me.
I just picture like
an Ed Harris character in like Truman Show looking looking at rubbing a screen oh i imagine
it like alien with the like chambers that they all oh yeah they're like where they go into like
a cryogenic freeze or whatever yeah i uh i don't know do you sleep in a pod
i remember one time i had the crazy notion of getting a hammock to sleep in.
Oh, for like everyday sleeping?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But also to save money?
No, no, no.
I don't think I was trying to save money.
Well, you didn't want to buy a mattress?
No.
I had a mattress.
But I was like, what if I just change things up and I get a fucking hammock?
You sleep in a hammock all the time.
That's got to be horrible for your back.
Well, and a girl was like, well, you'll never have sex again.
Like, nobody's going to come over.
Imagine you brought a woman home and they're like, oh, we're going to do this in a hammock.
Yeah.
And then I put on like, just like sailor tunes on a record.
Shanties.
Yeah, shanties.
I remember we went over
to some friend's house
once and they had a hammock
just in the, they had like a loft space
and they just had a hammock in there.
And I had never been on a hammock
as far as I knew.
And I was wearing cargo shorts, like the one pair
of cargo shorts I've ever owned.
And I got in the hammock
and then the button
that was holding my cargo...
Cot?
Thing, yeah.
Oh no.
The cargo pocket closed
just like shot off.
And then I stayed in the hammock
for a couple more minutes
and when I got out, the other pocket on the other side just shot right off.
So, like, I lost two buttons in one hammock trip.
Oh, man.
What a traumatic hammock experience.
Oh, man.
I don't think I've ever been in a hammock.
I have once.
And it's outdoors.
I find it kind of scary.
The idea that, like, that horse is like.
One hammock time you've been in and you were considering sleeping full time in a hammock?
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was really going through something.
I have a little bit of anxiety to get in one, I think.
Because the idea of it spinning around and me falling over, I feel like could have practically...
But you don't have to be very far off the ground.
That's true.
You can do, you can have a,
you know, it's not gonna kill you to fall two feet. But, uh,
uh, past, uh, past
guest Erica Sigurdsson, uh, her and
her, uh, uh, boyfriend,
husband, uh,
they go. Long time fiance. Long time fiance.
Uh, they go camping, and
they go, like, they set up a
hammock, like, in the trees.
Like, really? Yeah.
And they, like, sleep in that.
Like Ewok style. Yeah, Ewok style.
Or that's what, like, when mountain climbers
on rock faces, they'll have to
set up, like, a... Ewok style.
Which is also a sexual move, Ewok style.
You have sex and then just throw rocks at...
That's how I order at In-N-Out Burger.
Yeah, give it to me
um yeah like what if uh if you because you know how sometimes when you go on vacation and then
you wake up and you forget you have like a 10 seconds where you're like where the fuck am i
no oh that happens to me all the time really not having to you just blank blank out no like i wake
up and i have no idea where I am.
Like I know I'm somewhere, but I'm not like...
Oh, so you don't think you're nowhere.
No, I don't think I'm nowhere, but you wake up and you're like...
What is nowhere?
I don't know.
The thing in the Matrix where it's all white?
Even in your own home?
No, no, no.
Like when I'm on the road.
Oh, okay.
You know, you'll wake up and you'll be like, where am I?
I've never had that.
Really?
I've heard of comics say that. Yeah. It depends how long the road trip is but like what if you were in one
of those hammocks on a rock face when you woke up and you thought you were sleeping at home and
then you wake up and you're like oh no i'm gonna climb up or down to get out of this situation boy
hard hard start to the day yeah i think you sleep train at home In a hammock on a wall
Sleep train
Yeah, that's right
You slowly build up to it
Dave, what's going on with you, man?
Well, now that we got to the bottom
Of what's going on with Eddie
Yeah
Straws
Straws
Here's what's going on with me
Not very much
I was sick all week
So
What'd you have?
Just a cold?
Just a cold Cold Just a cold.
Cold and flu season.
Yeah.
Cough due to cold.
But I do watch a lot of YouTube videos.
Oh, yes.
And this one set of videos has been,
you know when you watch a YouTube video,
you get the pre-roll commercial?
Yeah.
I've had the same,
like not always the same one, but the same kind of pre-roll commercial yeah i've had the the same like not always the same one but the same kind
of pre-roll commercial for like a year and i do you guys get the same ones or are they they mix
them up i got the same one for a long time and it's a very specific one right now i'm getting
a kevin uh getting a which one i think it's like an Under Armour shoe one. Oh, okay. What's your specific one?
It's this fucking dude in a garage with a Lamborghini.
Oh,
that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he's like,
he's doing a selfie thing.
Like,
you like this car?
Yeah.
And I'm like,
I don't.
I like reading books too.
Yeah.
I,
uh,
being a mentor is good.
Yeah.
He,
uh,
I watched a full minute of it.
He talks,
he's like,
I love this car, but I love my books even more. And he's got his books in a garage. Yeah, he, I watched a full minute of it. He talks, he's like, I love this car,
but I love my books even more.
And he's got his books
in a garage.
Yeah, you know.
I got to watch
that whole commercial.
I should.
I see it right away
and I don't,
I don't watch it.
The one I've been getting.
I get him a lot.
I get this
very muscular Asian man.
Yes.
Oh,
the guy that eats
anything you want?
He's got peanut butter
and steak on the table.
A ponytail too?
Yeah, there's a bunch of them.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah,
it's either him
eating food
with like
the grossest
lip-smacking sound.
Yeah, yeah.
We specifically
miked this pudding.
Isn't it weird
that we all feel like
I thought I was the only one
that saw that commercial.
We had this sort of
unity of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Like they were targeting me because they know every other thing I watch is pizza something.
Or it's like, one of them starts with, there's one dirty little workout secret.
Oh, yeah.
Or this one evil secret. And he, he does the Dr. Evil.
Does he really?
Like finger to his mouth, but he doesn't commit to it completely.
So he, he like starts to laugh as it's happening, but it's just edited so quickly.
Oh God.
Wow.
So I finally, after a year of this guy being before every video I watched, I was like, well, maybe there's something to it.
So I was like, okay, I'll watch one of his videos.
They're all 20 minutes long.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah.
How much does he have to pay to get that kind of advertising push?
I know, because he's getting, like, his, I looked up his videos.
The most has 15 million views.
Okay.
Which is good, I guess.
Yeah. looked up his videos the most has 15 million views okay which is good i guess yeah um of course yeah yes it's good but like what are you paying versus what are you receiving or is he selling something
else like he's been like i've been watching those commercials for like a long time yeah i'm like
why don't i i only watch them for about four seconds yeah and then i skip them yeah but like
he's been showing up and he's like always always has like eight Tupperwares full of
food that I like, I can eat whatever I want.
And he's like ripped and like, I got a secret and like, I don't want to know your secret.
But the one video I watched, it was like, uh, how to get rid of your love handles.
Yeah.
And, uh, here's the secret.
Um, you can eat whatever you want.
No, I wouldn't have.
And, uh, you have to work out, uh, here wouldn't imagine. And you have to work out.
Here's the secret, guys.
You have to work out at least four times a week.
Oh, no, thanks.
At least 20 minutes.
But don't do this one exercise.
Huh.
What is it, sit-ups?
Please tell me it's sit-ups. Any of the ones that would build muscle under your love handles
because they would make the love handles bigger.
Ah.
Okay.
Okay, so that's a good tip. under your love handles because they would make the love handles bigger. Ah. Okay. Okay.
So that's a good tip.
But that was
two minutes into this
18 minute video.
Oh, brother.
I'm assuming the rest
is watching him work out.
The Lamborghini guy
I wonder about.
Well, I don't know
who he is.
It'd be cool if like
he had like
a suit like this car.
Yeah.
And then you're like,
no, but like
at the end of the video
he just shows you
a dead body
but no one ever knew. Yeah. No one ever made it that far. It's him just trying this car? Yeah. And then you're like, no, but like the end of the video, he just shows you a dead body, but no one ever knew.
No one's ever made it that far.
It's him just trying to confess.
Yeah.
It's like the end of a porno.
No one's ever seen it.
Yeah.
Wow.
It really,
that really went on
for quite a amount of years.
The credits in a porno.
Oh,
look,
oh,
look who was a fluffer on this.
Oh,
are they do them funny
like naked gun style
at the end of a porno? Oh, look who was a fluffer on this. Or they do them funny like naked gun style at the end of the porn.
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
Oh, a recipe for porno chili.
Oh.
Porno chili.
That's what this is all about.
Oh.
So, yeah, I finally watched, well, two minutes of one of the videos.
Yeah.
But they had one, I was looking at all of his videos,
and one of them was like
about his transformation.
It had him posing
for like a before picture.
Right.
Right.
Naturally, yeah.
But like,
how did he know
that he was going to get
this super ripped?
Like,
a chubby guy doesn't know
he's gonna...
Right,
well,
I take that photo.
Yeah,
but like,
and like,
totally posed properly
for this video
that he was doing. Maybe it was like a goal. He was like, I'm gonna get ripped and this is the first photo. Yeah, and this will and like, totally posed properly for this video that he was doing.
Maybe it was like a goal.
He was like, I'm going to get ripped.
And this is the first photo.
Yeah, and this will be.
And I will.
This will be, yeah.
Or maybe we're giving too much credit.
It's obviously probably Photoshopped or something.
But, well, yeah.
Or maybe it's just a similar looking guy.
Did I tell you about, there was a guy who, he like, he wrote a piece about it that he was a professional weightlifter.
Like he was a,
um,
personal trainer and he would get com companies would offer him money to gain weight,
have a picture taken,
really use their product while he was losing the weight so that he could legit say,
I use this and I use this and I lost.
Right.
So it's honestly true that he did get fat
and then transformed himself with this product.
Yeah, but that's what he does.
He does that eight hours a day.
Because the everyday person may not know
what to do to get that ripped,
almost like that guy does.
Yeah, that guy does.
That's his full job.
Well, it's not that he knows,
it's that he's eight hours a day doing it.
Yeah, and also,
like, he gains the weight
so that they can
take the pictures
and do the testimony.
Wouldn't it be great
if, like, he tells friends,
like, what are you eating so much?
Yeah, it's for a roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Before.
I've always been a before guy.
But also, the before guy,
always, they're like,
eh, make sure you have
shitty posture, too.
Yeah, like, really,
like, sink in your chest
and wear this ugly shirt. Yeah, and also, like, have, like, a not a good hair situation. Yeah. Like really, like sink in your chest. Yeah.
And also like have like a not a good hair.
Yeah.
And have the lighting be bad.
Yeah.
Before and after for guys,
for like hair clipper men always made me laugh.
Those guys were the worst.
Well,
it's man,
some of the things you're just like,
why did you not shave off your hair?
Why did you have,
you know,
like the horseshoe of long hair around your bald head yeah
there was a time when i was a kid i'd be like i'd count how many times they had those commercials
and be like always someone jumping out of a pool always yeah oh yeah look at it so resilient
so believable so believable yeah the woman pushing her fingers through it. Jeremy Piven did a surgery where he removed the back strip of hair from his neck and put it on the front of his head.
Because if you look at him from Seinfeld, remember he played George Costanza?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was bald.
He was completely bald.
And now he's got a full head.
He's got a beautiful Kevin James-esque natural hair.
He also, there's like a book coming out that's like by Ari Gold, who isn't a real guy.
Oh, really?
Well, it's based on a real guy.
Oh, is it really?
Yeah, yeah.
Ari something else.
But it's the character has written a book.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Ari's Guide to Hugs.
It's a hug and an F.
Yeah.
Ari's Guide to Bitches Who Hug
Oh man
Is that movie out yet?
No
I follow the
Entourage Movie
Twitter account
And retweet them
From time to time
I think about going back
And watching the show again
No no
No
No don't spend
Don't do that with your time
Like have you
Yeah there's a bunch of shows
You probably haven't seen
That are really good
That's true but Living in California now maybe I can re-appreciate, like, the references, maybe?
Oh, yeah.
Like, when they run into, you know, Debbie Mazur.
You'll be like, I know who that is.
When Johnny Drum was, like, in the valley and he won't go there because it's too hot.
I didn't know what that meant.
Oh, now.
Now I know because I lived there for six months.
But you don't have to watch a thing.
You just know that already.
That's true.
Yeah.
No, watch something else that you've never seen.
Have you seen everything?
Have you seen the whole show?
I think I've seen the whole show.
Yeah.
I think.
I can't remember.
I absolutely have.
I'm a completist.
I didn't see it.
How does it end?
I never saw that.
Also, you know what?
Like, I've seen every episode of Entourage.
Didn't watch, like, didn't completely hate watch it.
Like, I got.
Right.
I got.
Yeah.
Enjoyment out of it.
Yeah.
Right.
But, like, some shows, like, that people love, like, one episode of Friday Night Lights, and I'm like, fuck this. No episode of, of Friday night lights.
And I'm like,
fuck this.
No,
I never got into that.
One episode of,
uh,
the West wing.
Like this is,
these characters are not real.
No,
that was Johnny drama.
That was the same.
When I watched that one,
uh,
it's the other one from the same guy did the West wing.
Oh,
the newsroom.
Yeah.
I was like,
Nope.
I was that way with, uh, uh, sports night from, uh, is that the same guy did the west wing oh the newsroom yeah i was like nope i was that way with
uh sports night from uh that's the same guy yeah okay i think but i love he wrote the facebook
movie yeah he wrote really good um uh money ball which is your favorite yeah who is this uh aaron
sorkin i think i just love i think he's good writer. I just think the characters that he creates are garbage.
So like anytime he has to create characters
for a TV show,
it's like,
who,
why are they all preaching to each other?
Right.
Yeah.
I got into Boardwalk Empire a lot.
Yeah.
I haven't seen it.
Is it good?
I just like that era of time.
I fell short.
I just got bored by like the third season.
There was a,
there was a point where I was like
a little bit boring.
Yeah.
I'd like Mad Men 2. Yeah. I kind of like fear like a little bit boring. Yeah. I like Mad Men too.
Yeah.
I kind of like fear binge watching because I feel like it'll just take over my life.
I just get so into it.
Yeah, let it.
That's what I say.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, man.
But I'm like, I watch it at night and then I'm up till five in the morning and I'm like.
Oh, where do you got to be?
Yeah.
And I just run out of here.
He left his jacket and his shoes.
Wow. You're so passionate about the cause. Yeah And I just run out of here He left his jacket And his shoes Wow
You're so passionate
About the cause
I just watched that
Going Clear
The documentary
About Scientology
Oh yeah
I can't wait to watch that
Is that the one
Where they got the guy
That left Scientology
A bunch of guys
From the BBC
No
Is that the different one
It's an HBO documentary
Oh yeah yeah
Okay I want to watch that
And they've got a bunch of guys who left Scientology.
There's a couple of BBC ones that are really good.
But I had read the book, Going Clear,
and I finished it the day before the documentary came out,
and then I watched it.
And you know that thing where, like, I've never had this,
where you've read the book before you've seen the thing,
and you're like, oh, the books matter.
I'm not enjoying that superiority i didn't get a chance to like throw it in anyone's
faces i'm so mad what's the point of reading a book yeah if you can't uh yeah to really you know
show everybody yeah like hey i look at the Scientology building in LA is so creepy.
The blue one?
Yeah,
the blue one.
I drove by and it's like,
all the windows have this,
the exact same shutter on them.
It was a hospital.
Oh,
was it really?
It makes sense.
It looks like an insane asylum or something,
like at a shutter island.
Yeah,
now who's running the asylum?
Am I right?
Now,
Graham.
Yes.
What's going on with you?
Well, I went to Kelowna and Penticton this week.
I think I heard a story about what happened in Penticton.
About Eckler.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there was two.
Both nights were awful.
Both nights were awful.
You went with Kevin Banner?
With Kevin Banner.
Was he on both shows?
Yeah.
I know he posted one picture of the stage.
Oh, that was balanced on eight kegs?
Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
So the first gig, that was in Cologne.
It was at a casino.
This is in the interior of British Columbia in the, where would you call it?
The Okanagan.
The Okanagan. okanagan wine country
but you but also tribal tattoo country yeah like that's the thing is sleeveless country you get
half an hour outside of vancouver and then you may as well be in uh fucking you, the bayou somewhere. Like, it just,
you're just like,
what,
how,
how do,
how is a three hour drive?
Right.
These people vote completely different from me.
Yeah.
And it's consistent
across the country,
anywhere.
Like,
Toronto too,
you just leave
and it's like,
they don't even,
not even remotely
a part of the bigger city.
I guess,
I mean,
it's a rebellious thing.
Maybe like,
maybe we want to be like our own thing. I don't know. Well guess maybe it's a rebellious thing. Maybe we want to be our own thing.
I don't know.
Wasn't it a big thing in Toronto that they incorporated
all those suburbs?
And then they elected
Rob Ford.
And then the cyclists
who actually live in the city all got screwed
because everyone was like, no, no,
trucks rule.
Yeah, everybody who took
a public transit
was just flushed down the toilet.
But I think in comedy,
we see it very well
because we perform in front of these people.
It's like, oh man,
we're only an hour away,
but it feels like we're 10 hours away.
Yeah, it feels like we just are in deliverance.
So you're like, what?
But we're not, you know,
and it's all internet now.
We're all connected.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can order things on the internet and get them the same day I do.
Yeah.
It's not like the movie The Village.
They know what's beyond the trees.
Yeah.
So there's, like, some small town.
Like, what are you guys watching on Netflix?
Yeah, exactly.
Hunting videos.
Why?
What else is there on there?
Hunting videos.
You know, different videos about how to hunt.
My cousin lives around there and,
uh,
maybe not even around there,
somewhere in the interior.
Yeah.
And like every,
I'm friends with him on Facebook and every year it's like every Christmas it's like,
check out the new guns I got.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Like that was exactly like we,
as you're driving out,
all of a sudden there's no more cars.
It's all trucks.
Right.
And then more and more like stickers on the back that are of a deer's head.
And you're like, okay, like I don't get this.
Right, right.
And then we also saw a weird, you know the stickers that the, uh, stickers that people have a stick people.
Yeah.
Their family.
Dad and kids.
All of them are like holding a gun.
Well, no, it was like a weird one where it was like the stick figure was like, uh, like
having fellatio on another stick figure.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
And I was like, but like Kevin was like, he's like, I can't understand what I'm looking
at.
Were they both male?
Were they like still kids, thick figures watching?
It's supposed to be telling you who's in this car.
Yeah, that's what we were like.
Does that mean that's happening right now?
Some guy's blowing a guy while driving.
If so, I'm glad I know this.
I'll just keep my clearance.
So, yeah, so we go to know this. Yeah. Keep my clearance. So,
yeah,
so we go to this
gig
and it's in a casino
and so we think,
you know,
go in and it's tables
and it's all going to be nice.
Was this Penticton
or Kelowna?
This is Kelowna
and
we only just
start the show
and there's
a group
with a couple of gals
that are so drunk.
Mm-hmm. that are so drunk.
Like Las Vegas drunk.
But this is in Kelowna and it's Friday night and it's 8 p.m. There's a lot of money there too, right?
Yeah.
So I feel like some people feel entitled and they're like, yeah, whatever.
Yeah.
What's the industry like?
Drugs.
Yeah, exactly.
I feel like it's a lot of Alberta money goes there too.
Yeah, and a lot of like, Hey, I paid $200 rent.
So that's why.
Yeah.
So this lady got so,
she was so drunk and she was talking super loud and somebody came over and
said like,
quiet down or I'll have to kick you out.
Uh,
which was immediately followed by like,
what the fuck?
Like what the fuck?
And, uh, so she was taken out into the casino area and i was
going out to use the bathroom and then she like smashed her drink on the floor what spiked it
yeah spiked it and uh the like security like swarmed oh my and was like okay you got to give
us your id because you're banned from the
casino for life and then we find out that she's the girlfriend of a guy who they're all there
for his birthday oh so i was just like what the i know this is like a tired sort of uh
discussion but why do they go to comedy for birthdays or but the boyfriend was fine he was
like i'm very sorry about this and you know giving over the id and like i understand we'll leave
immediately right but she was like i've never been traded like this i've never been traded like this
so the one guy who should be drunk is the guy who's keeping the peace. Yeah, he's the designated driver.
So then that show was awkward as fuck.
And then we go to Penticton.
And for some reason in my head.
And I just want to say, like, we have listeners who live in small towns.
Yeah.
I guess.
I'm not hating on small towns.
But you hate it too, right?
But, so, like, we go to Penticton, which in my head, I think, is going to be, like, more of, like, a hippie enclave.
I've never been there.
Well, what kind of town is it?
Well, it's largely, like, their thing is that they sell fruit.
Yeah.
Like, every...
Really?
There's, like, fruit stands everywhere, and they have a peach festival.
So people go there. yeah like every there's like fruit stands everywhere and they have a peach festival people but the peach festival the famous peach festival is people there's a giant peach that
has like a booth where people are it's like an information booth or i don't know yeah and every
year they just tip it over there's a riot yeah they throw it in the lake when your empty hammer was playing. So we get to the venue, which is a bar, and the guy, like we've been told, oh, it always sells out.
We get there, almost empty.
And somebody goes, oh, I think it's because Marilyn Manson's playing in town.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Why? Why is that the same people that go to a show? Manson's playing in town. And I was like, what the fuck?
Why?
Why is that the same people that go to a show?
But why is Marilyn Manson playing in Penticton?
Is it specifically in Penticton?
Yeah, it was Penticton.
He was in Penticton playing a show.
That's so odd.
Well, I'm just like, I don't know.
I thought he was doing better than... Like, I'm there, and I know how well I'm not doing.
Anyway, so there's, you you know there's one guy some table at the front so drunk so drunk and uh they're they're heckling from the
word go and uh you know like kevin doesn't know the name of the local hockey team, which super offends this guy at the table.
And what would you think?
It's Penticton.
They're known for peaches.
What would their hockey team name be?
The Cobblers.
Yeah.
You would think something fruit related, maybe?
No, probably not.
The apples?
The somethings?
What was it?
The V's.
Well, yeah. Veggies? Exactly. No, just like... No, probably not. The apples? The somethings? What was it? The V's. Well,
yeah, exactly. Veggies? No,
just like, yeah, V's.
The V8.
So, drink your vegetables. Flying V's. The guy says like,
do your, do your research.
So then, while Kevin's
up there, I start researching like the
most recent news stories from Penticton
and the number one news stories from Penticton and the number one news story
in Penticton is that
they're having a problem with wild horses
walking all over the city
and eating people's gardens.
That's still a thing?
That's what I said. I was like, what
are you? Have we not tamed all the horses?
There's also a large selection of wild
cows too.
There's a wolf boy as well.
A wolf boy.
And then, yeah, so that show was so terrible.
And did you bring that up to the audience?
Yeah, because I thought it was funny.
Never heard of it.
Go Vs.
Anyway, so yeah, the guy.
And I was like, how many people are in the audience at this point?
How many people are in the audience at this point?
It was probably like 30. Was it big venue did it feel cavernous
or was it kind of like no it was definitely cavernous and and but it was the front table
was so drunk there was one guy who kept standing up and saying stuff and uh every time i started
a joke there was one guy who kept calling me fat and ugly and i was like god damn it like i mean you're
ugly and but i'm like there's so many of you i can't and the bartender they keep serving them
drinks so i was like oh so these guys are regulars like you're going with them over the show well
yeah yeah so but i think a listener of the podcast came and saw the show.
Like, I tweeted, I'm in Penticton.
And he's like, I'll come to the show.
And then afterwards, he was like, man, that was rough.
It unsubscribes.
Oh, no.
No, why?
It was not worth it.
Well, Graham, can I tell you?
Yeah.
You're not fat.
Oh, thanks, man.
Thank you very much.
Not according to this guy, though.
No, you're not fat.
A little ugly, man. Thank you very much. Not according to this guy, though. No, you're not fat. A little ugly, though.
But yeah, this guy was so, just like from the second I got on stage.
And we could barely get up to this stage because it was on top of kegs.
You know what I mean?
They just put like some plywood on top of a keg, like eight kegs.
And that was the stage.
Were you performing in front of like a chicken wire?
This is crazy.
Oh, I would.
Honestly, if there had been chicken wire
it would have at least been kind of
cool, you know. But as it was
Penticton
stinks.
I'll stick with that. Is that like a top five
bad road story?
Yeah, I mean it's definitely, definitely.
There's a lot of variables that add to being a bad road story.
Yeah, but the fact that it's like
Marilyn Manson
was somehow involved in the story.
It was WrestleMania weekend.
That's true.
But that wouldn't, like, you would just show WrestleMania instead of comedy.
Yeah, yeah.
But also, you know, maybe a lot of guys were home hanging up decorations.
Yeah, sure.
Hanging up their stockings in case Macho Man comes down the chimney.
Yeah, exactly.
My worst road story, if we can bring it up.
Sure, yeah.
Me and a comedian by the name of Johnny Guardhouse.
Yeah, yeah.
We did a show in this reserve in Ontario.
Okay.
Just maybe like a couple hours north of Toronto.
this reserve in Ontario.
Okay.
Just maybe like a couple hours north of Toronto.
And we go,
and it's like the audience is like,
you know,
kind of sparse,
but they're there.
So I'm on stage,
and the,
sorry,
before I go on stage,
the booker was like,
all right,
so I'm going to give you guys
cash at the end of the show.
I'm like,
okay,
whatever.
And he seemed kind of shady.
I don't know,
just to get that vibe,
you know.
Yeah.
And I'm on stage, and as I'm telling jokes, he comes up of shady. I don't know. Just need to get that vibe, you know? Yeah. And I'm on stage.
And as I'm telling jokes, he comes up to the stage and he goes, he goes, hold on a
sec.
I'm putting the bucket right here.
All right.
Just put it.
If you want to help out with the pay for the show, put it in here while I'm on stage.
And I go, what?
Like I had to like, it was a mid joke.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh my God, none of it was flying.
Right.
So then I put the middle on and he's doing his thing and i'm backstage and then uh he's i see the the the
booker guy reading a note and i was like are you going uh are you doing time and he goes what no
no and then i later found out it's because he thought i meant jail time
and it was it was a note from his buddy in jail oh oh weird so weird so he disappears and i go
on stage and i'm about to introduce johnny and he goes no no no no no no no no no he walks down
hold on hold on hold on hold on i go oh okay, I guess the booker, whatever his name is, James, whatever, wants to talk to you guys.
And I thought, and I didn't clue into that it was a note from jail.
I thought maybe it was a speech or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then he goes on stage with a guitar.
And then he goes, we all know what happened to Jason.
And it's a shame you couldn't be here tonight.
So I wrote this for him.
10-minute power ballad about his buddy dying.
Oh, not even his buddy from prison.
Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.
And then, all right, Johnny Garthouse.
Follow that.
And then Johnny went up and then he just did his thing.
They paid us in cash.
And a lot of it, some, there was some change involved.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Because it's from the bucket.
And we were in the car counting and he'd say, hang out with us.
You were great, hang out.
Which is, if anyone listening is like, that is the last thing you do at a comedy show in a place you don't
want to be
anywhere
like you know
hang on
be part of us
you're afraid
you're gonna walk
out of there
like oh man
with a weird tattoo
the worst is when
the person you're with
is like
yeah let's do it
that is the worst
yeah cause then
you're like
oh my god
come on man
I think she's
digging me
yeah
get all these quarters.
So we count the cash and we leave.
That was by far like a 10-minute power ballot on his dead buddy.
Oh, wow.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
It's pretty.
And everybody in the bar knows that dude.
Everyone.
Yeah.
It's like the local thing.
And maybe the guy in prison killed him.
Maybe.
Oh, wow.
It was like a note.
Yeah.
It's like, I'll do it. i'll do it i'll do it again
as soon as i get it i'll kill you're next oh my god oh man it was the worst and then
i was doing a show yuck yucks comedy club in toronto yeah and he came up to me the booker
guy what he came with his hey hey eddie i go hey remember did the show with me And you said the town
I was like
Oh yeah
Yeah
We gotta have you back
You're like
I don't do comedy anymore
Sure yeah
You just did a set
This is the last one
Yeah this is the last set
Yeah I'm going to prison tomorrow
Yeah
I'll write you
Oh my god
Do we want to move on to overheard?
Yeah
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Overheard. Overheard Overheard
It's a segment in which we
Overhear wonderful things out there in the world
And we report them back here on the podcast
Now we always like to start with the guests
Okay
And you brought something
You said you got something
I did it at Havana
Yeah, and it's very funny
So
So basically the story is
I went to go watch Transformers.
Like the most recent one?
Yeah.
Oh, the Age of Ultron.
And I was with a friend, and there was a guy behind me by himself,
just eating popcorn by himself, didn't say a word about the whole thing.
And there was a scene where like,
I think Optimus Prime turns into
a truck mid-air or something,
and all I hear is the guy behind me go,
yeah, right.
And I thought like,
really? That's what lost you?
These intergalactic robots fighting for the safety
of Earth? And you're like, no,
I didn't believe that part. No,
he's sitting there
biting his tongue
the whole time.
You know,
there's been four
of these things.
All right.
I thought this was
based on a true story.
I'm an electrician.
I thought they were
about those things,
Transformers.
But like,
he's there by himself.
Yeah.
Everyone there
should be there
by themselves.
Or maybe with a kid Sure
Right
He should have a kid in tow
It was just funny that like
Because if he's with somebody
Maybe he would do it just to joke around with
Right
You know like
Yeah right
Stop it
Yeah
Yeah
And we're like
Nice boots
Or maybe someone says
Yeah nice boots after his prep Or maybe someone says, nice boots after his prime.
Or maybe someone said to him,
like,
can you believe that thing's doing this?
Yeah. Right.
Like maybe it was unrelated.
Right.
But for him to be by himself and glued to the screen,
then it was obviously about Optimus Prime switching to a car in the middle.
Oh,
I love it.
Especially like,
he's got a mouthful of popcorn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Do you see him walking out?
And you turn around and it's like, Malcolm Gladwell.
There's no way he could have done that without 10,000 hours.
One of the greatest thinkers of our time.
No way.
Optimist lame.
Epic fail.
Do you, Dave?
Do I, Dave? Do you, Dave? Do you you Dave?
do I Dave?
do you Dave?
so I was in Toronto
a week or two ago
and in my hotel room I just had the
television on and it was
morning and it was
breakfast television and they were interviewing
the star of the new
Cinderella movie. Okay.
Live action. Yeah.
And this was funny to me
the thing I overheard
because it's something that I say
all the time just to be
an asshole.
But the host of the show
said it for real and they were talking
about the plot of the movie and how it's different from the show said it for real. And they were talking about the plot of the movie
and how it's different from the cartoon
and it kind of focuses on different things.
And the star was like, yeah.
And our version, Cinderella has a lot of inner strength.
And the host said, and that's so important today
with social media.
Yes.
You know that a producer like said to him that morning,
like,
you're really going to,
you got to mention social media out there,
man.
We get killed.
Get killed.
Oh,
and that's truer today than ever on account of Twitter and the blogosphere.
A blogosphere.
You know, they're remaking or they're doing a live version of Dumbo, right?
Are they really?
Yeah.
And Mulan.
Yeah, and Mulan.
Together.
Who will win?
Who will be the last person or elephant standing?
We did, a few months ago, We were talking about Pinocchio
And how we didn't know the plot of Pinocchio
We knew various things
But then we filled it in
I couldn't tell you the plot of Dumbo
There's an elephant, a child elephant
Has ears that are too big
And can fly
Is this something to do with being an outcast and bullied?
Well yeah, and he gets separated
From his mother
Does he get cyber
bullied no but it's very important now uh but here's the like uh they really should remake
dumbo because it's a great story except that in the original there's these two horribly racist
characters are they crows oh yeah like yeah the minstrel crows yeah yeah yeah so it that needs
to be a movie that like kids don't watch anymore but like they make a good version of it so what
would you do instead of the crows i just would i just delete that scene what are the role of what
is the role of the crows are they like they were kind of they were they were mean and uh uh i don't
think they were allies they're not but they're not like the narrator or no no think they were allies. They were sassy kind of like. But they're not like the narrator or.
No, no.
They were, I think they were characters inserted in there to, so everybody could enjoy some racism.
Yeah.
Of the day, you know.
But yeah, so I don't know.
I feel like Disney's got a lot of those kind of things that it's like, yeah, go ahead and remake that.
And then put the other thing in the vault and never let it out again.
Sure.
Anyways.
What are the most racist characters?
In Disney movies.
But I haven't seen, I've seen like four.
And I don't remember much racism in The Great Mouse Detective.
Well, I think in one of the...
Are the Siamese cats racist?
They're pretty racist. Yeah, I think in one of the... Are the Siamese cats racist? They're pretty racist.
Yeah, they're racist.
Yeah, and then I feel like everybody in the Jungle Book speaks with kind of an English accent,
except the orangutan, and he's like a jazz guy.
He's like singing jazz songs.
Do you know what I mean?
It's just like...
I like the way everyone who explains jazz has to snap both
fingers well yeah because that's uh that's how we understand it's the international sign for jazz
yeah it's snapping your everyone people used to think jar jar binks was like racist he was wasn't
yeah i still think that misa do think that i felt like it didn't sound as caribbean as i was like because i grew up in a very predominantly car that. I felt like it didn't sound as Caribbean.
Because I grew up in a very predominantly Caribbean neighborhood.
I was like, it didn't sound that Caribbean.
But did it sound a little Caribbean?
It did sound a little Caribbean.
Yeah.
It didn't sound so much Caribbean as Caribbean.
I mean.
There was also, weren't there aliens that were like,
basically like Chinese?
Yeah.
And they were the bad guys?
Right, right, right. So it was like george lucas just stop like you haven't you mean he did yeah that's right he left indiana
jones alone and uh everything was fine oh that last indiana jones movie i didn't see it no you
should you're all about me wasting my time You should You should do that
Yeah
It's
How long is it?
It's about
Six entourages long
I only measure things
In entourages
I had sex with this woman
For about an eighth
Of an entourage
An eighth?
Oh wow
Good for you
Yeah
Was it the finale?
No
It was like
Just an episode
Yeah
A very special episode, a crossover.
No, no, no.
Just a regular one where Turtle got a fancy pair of shoes.
Oh, yeah, when he waited in line all day.
That one where Turtle assigned Saigon.
Saigon.
I love that these are exact plot lines.
Yeah.
My overheard comes courtesy of Pent penticton where during the day
i love this you went on a wine tour i went i know our hotel was right next to a
bowl-a-rama that was open so i went bowling i went 10 pin bowling for like hours and uh
it was like some guy who just came out of the mountains and just a bowl and
it goes back to the mountains yeah like i came in and i was just wearing earbuds like the whole
time like it's i just it was like four games and then i would come back and be like four more games
this guy means business and did kevin go no it was me by myself was he invited yeah i invited
him he's like now i'm gonna have a nap. I was like, you're lost.
You can have a nap anywhere.
Yeah, exactly.
We've got a pool of yellies right here.
And it was all kids' birthday parties everywhere.
There's all these kids having their birthday parties. And then the loner, long-bearded loner.
The loner asking for 18 games.
Yeah, where's my parade?
I keep yelling at the kids.
I'll be bowling for 600 rajas. Do you mind if I go barefoot? I keep yelling at the kids. I was like, I'll be bowling for 600 Rajas.
Do you mind
if I go barefoot?
I want to feel
the flow.
Imagine you
barefoot bowling
with one hand.
Now,
every time I go bowling,
it's usually,
oh,
two years
since I last bowled.
Right.
Yeah.
And I always think,
maybe I'll be good at bowling this time
and I always
get one strike
and then the rest I'm terrible at
yeah that was pretty much my
and when I went back for my
second set of games
the lady was like
are you getting better?
are you beating your old score?
and I was like no it's steadily getting worse like I started your old score? And I was like, no, it's steadily getting worse.
Like I started somewhere and then every game I was like,
why am I not learning from my mistakes at all?
Also, why, like it's 2015.
Why bowling?
We're being constantly monitored by the government.
Why can't the lady who hands out shoes know your score already?
Why does she have to ask you if you're getting better?
Yeah.
Why can't she see?
Oh, he's not getting better.
He's not getting better.
I just don't think they care.
I think that was it.
Just making conversation.
Yeah.
I did a show on a bowling alley once.
Have you done a show on a bowling alley?
Yeah, yeah.
In Kamloops.
And it was great.
Was it good?
Yeah, it was fantastic.
Because after the show, free bowling.
All the bowling you can do. Oh my God. That sounds great. Yeah, it was amazing. Because after the show, free bowling. All the bowling you can do.
Oh, my God.
That sounds great.
Yeah, it was amazing.
See?
Because small towns, I'm not against them.
I'm going broke doing all this bowling.
So one of the times I'm going to re-up on my alley, there's a dad there.
I was surmising, but maybe I was wrong, but I think it was a weekend dad taking his kid out like,
oh,
we're going to bowl.
And then,
uh,
right.
See one of those horses that's running through town.
This will make this kid forget about that bounce birthday check.
It's been in some nice,
um,
he,
uh,
they're at the counter and they're getting their shoes and then
it's a very old lady that's uh working the counter and she goes i can put your name in the computer
for you and uh he goes okay i'm i'll be dad and she's like okay dad and then uh she's like, and what's his name? And he says, it's Zayden.
And then she goes, uh.
She just doesn't even ask.
She just goes, uh.
And the guy's like, Z-A-I-E, whatever crazy thing.
And she goes, how about son?
Dad and son. Dad and son.
Dad and son.
Yeah.
Oh, Zayden.
How about son?
Oh, boy.
I guess we ran out of Jadens, Adens, Cadens, Ninja Guidens.
Yeah.
It's one of the reasons me and his mother broke up.
One of the reasons me and his mother broke up.
Now, in addition to our overheards, we have overheards that have been sent in by listeners. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org.
And the first overheard, it comes from Steven P. in Atlanta.
Comes from Steven P. in Atlanta.
Hmm.
This is at a workplace that there's been some renovations going on.
An email was sent around explaining what's going to be affected.
My co-worker's first language is not English.
And he was reading the email out loud.
Here's what I overheard. The break room will be closed until november 11th the fridge and microwave will be moved to room x but you will not
be able to use that coffee machine you'll have to use the different coffee machine in the interim
then he paused steve where's the interim ah Ah, adorable, right?
These are the misunderstandings. Yeah, this is a very, it's a fun cultural.
Exchange?
Exchange, yeah.
You can put that in the margins of like the chicken soup for the immigrant soul.
Immigrant soul.
Immigrant soul.
Immigrant soul.
This next one comes from Amber D.
Parts unknown.
Where's, no.
Oh, she was in the mountains of North Carolina.
Oh, wow. You guys got a great scape on the.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
Yeah, you get around.
And overheard the following.
On my way to the mail room.
And in the, this is on the way to the mailroom and in the mailroom today, there were two guys.
Oh, no, there were so, wait, there's two of them.
There's a mailroom in the mountains of North Dakota?
Yeah.
North, sorry, Carolina?
Yeah, she works at a lovely, crunchy, shoeless college in the mountains of North Carolina. Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And so this is a woman and a man.
The woman says, this song reminds me of protests and, like, kids getting shot.
The man says, really?
It reminds me of Coors Light.
Oh, my God.
What?
I wonder what the song was.
What was the one
I mean the protest of people getting shot.
They're getting shot with silver bullets.
Stop now.
What's that sound?
Everybody looks like
or Ohio by
Crosby, Stills and Nett.
Does that one make you feel like Coors Light?
No. Neither of them are Coors Light? No.
Ohio?
No.
Neither of them are Coors Light-y.
Hmm.
Well, that one, the first one kind of is.
Well, Coors Light is the banquet beer.
Coors Light, I would associate with music from whatever Smokey and the Bandit.
Oh, yeah.
Eastbound and Down, that kind of um uh this last one comes from tara d
tara dactyl yeah tara dactyl i didn't want to say that probably is a real name out there
tara and then dactyl why not zayden dactyl son dactyl
uh this is an overheard from the Maryland Renaissance Festival.
Woo!
Yeah.
Wow.
I was in the maze, and two little girls, about three and four, were coming towards me from a dead end.
The older one said to the younger, don't worry, we'll find our way out using big sister power.
Oh, right!
What is she, like a kid's book? Yeah, isn't that sweet? Big sister power. Big sister power. Oh, right. What is she, like a kid's book?
Yeah, isn't that sweet?
Big sister power.
Big sister power.
I don't think they ever found their way out.
No, well, you know, that's the thing is when you say big brother, everybody goes, no.
When you say big sister.
Yeah.
Yeah, it feels good.
Like, yeah, go out there and learn how to swim.
Have you ever been lost in a big maze? Like a corn maze or a hedge maze?
No
I mean, you're of the hedge
I am of the hedge
Yeah
How did you know that?
Oh yeah, from the podcast
Yeah, you're Eddie of the hedge
Eddie of the hedge
Yeah
My dad was, my grandfather was an orphan
Abandoned on a hedge
Wow
Yeah
And that's really where the name comes from
Yeah, so
So are you the only So if you see Della Seppi If you see anyone with that last name on a, on a hedge. Wow. Yeah. And that's really where the name comes from. Yeah. So.
So are you the only.
So if you see.
Delis Epi.
If you see anyone with that last name, it came from that baby, my grandfather.
For sure.
Really?
Yeah.
I believe so.
That's amazing.
So that means you're, yeah, you're connected to all the.
So basically the.
All the hedges of the world.
All the hedges of the world. So my grandfather was an orphan, left at a church.
He stayed there
till he was 15 went to like a home like he worked like in the field for the some family
and then joined the military which is prime for military in what country is this in italy this
is and then my uh he didn't have a last name and the government needed for him to have a last name
and they asked the church and they said we found him on the hedge so della means from and sepi
means hedge wow yeah yeah that's great but the question is have you been lost in a maze no no yeah there's
uh there used to be one in uh calgary at the amusement park calloway park yeah yeah and then
you just yeah you just you just yell and or you just follow somebody who looks like they know
what they're doing i remember at the at the um uh
fair here there was the thing that was like kind of like a fun house yeah and it but it was like
passageways and some were glass and you would just like there's some mirrored too somewhere
mirrors somewhere glass and you would just like bonk your face right into glass oh that's not
you know you look down there's like remnants of chipped teeth. Yeah, yeah.
I remember my brother laughing so hard at me.
Like, where was the big brother power?
Did you see skulls and stuff?
And this one, you just see chipped teeth.
But that's the difference between big sister power and big brother power.
Big brother power just will dunk your face in the toilet.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have.
Hi, this is Amanda from San Antonio, Texas.
I have an overheard.
I was just at an aquarium with a friend, and they had one of those big stingray exhibits where you can pet the stingrays.
And a nine-year-old was talking to like a six-year-old brother
and he said very meritoriously
you know this is what killed
Steve Urkel
oh my god
that's so funny
and he never got together with Laura.
Never got a chance.
But Stefan Arkell is still alive.
Oh yeah, right?
And Robo-Arkel.
Robo-Arkel.
Although he got electrocuted in the tank.
God, that is so funny.
I've never been to one of those.
A pet, a stingray.
No, me neither
Have you seen those photos on the internet
Of a zoo in Japan
I want to say
Where there's a one way thing that an otter
Can stick its hand through and you can touch
Like it can grab your finger
But it can't go the other way
You can't go in and grab an otter
And shake it up
An otter glory hole
Kind of, yeah you can put a wood
clam through there yeah yeah so anyways it's like a big attraction and there's
yeah i don't think i've ever been to a petting zoo let alone that yeah they're uh they're great
yeah you like uh dander no i love dander yeah you like having dander I love having histamines rush through my sinuses
If you like
If your favorite type of food is pellets
Then they got them
But you fit them to goats
I love the hint of bark and poo
If you want to see the bridge of saliva
Between your hand and a goat's mouth,
a petting zoo is the place for you.
Here's your next phone call.
R.I.P. Steve Urkel.
Hello, Dave and Graham and possible probable guest.
It's your old friend Ivan Decker calling in at overseen.
In Vancouver, they have a new initiative where
they want people to design their
own toonies and the ad is like
a blank toonie with the bear
outside of it.
And I've seen five or six
of these ads walking
around today. I'll just pause it right now.
Yeah. Well you're laughing. What do you think
people are drawing?
A bear pooing everywhere.
That's what I'm picturing? A bear pooing everywhere.
That's what I'm picturing.
A penis of some sort.
Every single one, picture of a dick.
Pretty great.
Because I thought the bear was outside, they'd draw it
and the stink line's coming off its butt.
No.
Yeah, I saw one that was a nickel.
Draw your own.
I bet you're not to draw them on the poster
Not on a canvas for you
Yeah try and tell that to the people already
I was like of course
That's what's getting for free
Can I add a quick
Overseen
The Scientology building in Toronto
It's boarded up
It's not there anymore on Yonge Street
And I walk by and it's's boarded up it's not there anymore on young street and i walked by
and it's all boarded up and someone spray painted does tom know which i thought was so funny you
know you know yeah he's he's up top is what is there the the higher power is it xenu xenu is not
the higher power xenu is the uh evil overlord is the evil overlord who dropped all the souls onto our planet TGAC.
So is Xenu like their Satan?
I guess.
Type of thing?
Okay.
He really goofed the floof.
That's in the book, too.
Yeah.
Here is the final overheard of 2015.
Hi, Stop Podcasting Yourself.
This is Jessica in New York,
and I have an overheard from the hair salon a few weeks ago.
I was sitting there when a really talkative lady came in,
and she was telling her hairstylist about a great date she'd been on the weekend before.
He was apparently a multimillionaire who owned a beach club in New Jersey.
But the best part was when she said, he's really smart.
And he thinks I'm really smart, which is great.
I'm going to keep it that way.
Very smugly.
So that's my overheard.
I'm going to hide all my For Dummies books.
How would you hide being dumb?
Graham, you first.
I would hold all menus right side up oh how do you know
i don't know you know i know i would pay attention to what other diners are doing and i'd be like
this is the right way yeah and also i would say chaucer a lot oh my god just throw it into
conversation very any uh yes or no question I would just answer with quite.
Eddie, any tips
on not appearing dumb?
That reminds me
when I was in Harvard
and then just talk about
what the order at Burger King
or something.
I went to school
a little outside of Boston.
Boston Community College.
Yeah.
I went to school A little outside
Trenton
So
That brings us
To the end of the show
Yeah
Now Eddie
You've got
Different things to plug
Yeah
Yeah
You've got your own podcast
My own podcast
Called Barely Friending
It just started
What's
Tell us the premise
The premise is Basically me And my friend MJ riggins who is a comedian from uh los angeles and
she's a comedian actress and uh we have this sort of frenemy sort of relationship where we hate each
other but we also friends sure and we talk about trending topics in uh in uh among people who are
either relationships or like friends or acquaintances whatever so like
we'll ask our audience what's uh your best vacation with a friend or worst way you've been broken up
and then people send in stuff send in stuff and we'll tell us we'll tell our own anecdotes and
comment on people stories as well that sounds like a lot of fun yeah so like we had one person
send a story like worst surprise ever got was was like someone bought a birthday card for this person.
And they went to read it.
Inside there was a little baggie.
And there was hair in it.
And they're like, what's that?
It's my pubes.
And that was the worst gift he's ever gotten.
That is pretty terrible.
Hard to top.
So like stuff like we get like a lot of cool stories in.
So it's just started.
So pretty proud of that.
Can you get it on iTunes?
We just started on SoundCloud. We're you get it on uh itunes uh we just
started uh on soundcloud we're getting rs feed soon and then we only have like two episodes okay
all right so find where can people find it where uh on soundcloud right now and it's called uh
barely friending so they type that in soundcloud yeah that's it this is all i'm so yeah you put
you put the letters in the right order. You spell the word I said.
Graham, why didn't we come up with a concept when we started the show?
Because back in the olden days, you didn't need a concept.
You just talked it out.
Podcasting was just enough on its own.
It was pre-concept.
Yeah, it's like, you know how Larry King never did research or anything?
He was just like, I'll just go and talk for an hour.
And he just was allowed to do that through his whole career.
Charlie Rose didn't even want a background.
Just give me a table and a man.
Yeah, it's just a black.
Yeah, give me a table and infinity behind me.
Yeah.
I want it to be like it's happening inside this person's mind.
And the new album oh yeah so my last
album is called you've changed you can find that on itunes and uh bandcamp um and my new album i'm
recording uh so i guess when this comes out i've already been recorded but at the yuck yucks comedy
club in vancouver and it's called i think i've changed so ah nice so uh it's my second one it's
all stuff that i wrote in la and like you know know, it's all my old, like I kind of
scrapped all my old road stuff that I used to do.
Yeah.
So, it's all my new stuff.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Very cool.
And do you've got a website?
Yeah.
You can find me on eddidelseppi.com or Twitter at eddidelseppi or Instagram as well.
And just spell Del Seppi.
D-E-L-L-A-S-I-E-P.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you so much
for being our guest.
Guys, I had a blast.
It was awesome.
Oh, it was fun
to have you here, man.
And knock him dead
on the taping.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
I will.
And if you like the show,
you should head over
to MaximumFun.org.
Check out the blog recap.
Yeah, stuff we,
pictures and videos
of things we've talked
about in the show. Surely a picture out the blog recap. Yeah. Stuff. We pictures and videos of things we've talked about in the show.
Uh,
surely a picture of the Scientology building for sure.
Maybe entourage.
Yeah.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Also coming up on May Niner,
May 9th,
uh,
live podcast.
Yes.
May 9th at the,
uh,
Rio theater Here in Vancouver
It's a fundraiser for our friend Pat
Yeah, and it's a great
Check out this lineup
It's us doing the live podcast
With Charlie Demers
Alicia Tobin
And opening act for the show
The Sunday Service
None of these acts are guaranteed
They're all signed on At the time of this recording for the show, the Sunday service. None of these acts are guaranteed.
So,
all signed on.
They're all signed on.
At the time of this recording,
we do not have a link for the tickets,
but they should be
for sale by now.
It'll be at
riotheatertickets.ca,
but I don't know
when they'll be up.
Okay.
I don't know
when they'll be available.
But we'll have a link
in the podcast recap.
Yeah.
And,
you know, live podcast, man. It in the, the podcast recap. Yeah. And,
you know,
live podcast,
man, it's the most fun you can have sitting up.
Right.
I guess you can also have sex standing up.
Uh,
I don't know.
There's,
there's all sorts of new moves.
But not both of you.
Nah,
there's all sorts of new moves since the last time I did it.
Sure.
Yeah.
With this free hammock.
Um, since the last time I did it. Sure, yeah. With this free hammock. And if you like this show,
please do tell your friends
and come on back next week
for another episode
of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org
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